Monthly Archives: December 2014

2014 -The Circle, Complete… Words from Kahu Mapu

Indeed…please read and share…mahalo nui… ROX

The Ghetto Allegory

The End Result is the Beginning

Lots of changes happened these last 12 months. The reason that this is being written in this blog rather than my teaching blog is simple – of course, it is always nice to have more readers for that blog, but more, because somehow, this morning, I am guided by Spirit, by the Mother Goddess, to be here, in The Ghetto Allegory, reminding you all, including myself, that 2014 is on its way out, that it was a very harsh year that contained within it those moments which were SO big and so very life changing.

The things that happened to you, for you, with you there, were all moments which could easily be thought as anything, with any kind of energy that any one of us could put into anything at all, but the bottom line is that, we learned, and more, in…

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Ladies and Gentlemen…again to the stage…INTEGRITY

“Integrity…it’s that one thing you cannot buy”

These are the words that a lot of people have said to me over the course of my life, and it turns out that yes, we indeed CAN do whatever it is that we care to, but we must remember that, above all, it is our integrity which, through our choosing and through our actions, will either become stronger or will come into question.

I have contemplated things over the last few months, and really, I know exactly the things and people who I care to have in my life, and each and every one of them also knows who they are. They are the ones who told me, who remain to tell me, that no matter what it is that I care to do in this particular lifetime, to do it with my own personal energy signature,my own special love for me, for the people with whom I am the closest. Even though it is that there are things that suck, badly, right now, we must all think in the manner that is “you can do whatever you want, so long as you are not disrespecting others, so long as you are not hanging around for people to take advantage of your good nature or for you to do the same thing to them, and more than that, as long as you can remain true to who you are.”

True to who I am, folks need to know, right now, that the moment you step out of that place called “The Real You” is when your trouble starts.

Trouble

You know that you are in trouble when you begin to question your own motives and your own actions. There is nothing better as a means by which we can balance out our own bullshit with others than to ask ourselves if what we are doing, would we want someone else to do to us? This is not an easy question to answer when it pertains to ourselves, and neither is it an easy one to answer when it is that we are talking about someone to whom we have given much love. We humans tend to idealize one another, namely when it comes to the person or people who we love the very most. We are scared to death to not see them as what we want to see them as, and then when their sins are in our faces, we want to turn tail, and the reason that we want to turn tail is not what anyone thinks it is and is something that I am too happy to reveal.

When we idealize other people, we are not giving them the credit of being fully capable of fucking up, badly, and when we are hurt or our lives are harmed from that fuck up, we want other people to pay a heavy price, NOT for the things that are outside of us, but for the reality that is the pain within, and that is not cool at all. When the time comes, though, we tend to understand one thing, and that one thing is that our inner pain sucks okole. We love to point our fingers, love to make sure most people who are closest to us know that they have made us hurt, have made it so that they understand we are angry at them, but what we are not prepared for is facing our own crap.

That is the hardest part of all, facing one’s own bullshit.

Facing one’s own bullshit

If there is one thing that I hate doing, but that I have to do a whole lot lately, it is to point out the sins of others, mostly because I already know what mine are and I do not need to be reminded of them. I am well aware of it when I hurt someone, meaning that I do not need to pile more of my own hurt on someone else to carry for me. That is my job, just like it is your job and really, it is no one else’s business, when you think about it and after you have told anyone else at all about, to have to care about how you feel. That is your job. Am I talking to one person in particular? Nope. It is just that there are a LOT of people who I have spoken with this week past, and a lot of people who are without a lot of the normal niceties that one would expect for this time of the year and it really is because there are still a lot of humans on the planet who believe that in certain situations, they are without sin, or are without as much sin as someone else might. Let me remind you all of one thing, and I use the word “sin” for the simple fact that we all know what it means….that one thing is that…sin is sin, no matter what, and we are all capable of committing many, many sins, most of them not against others, but more, on behalf of our very sorry ass selves.

What is not apparent to most of these people is that the failure in their happiness is due to the idea that they, themselves cannot or simply will not bother to look at themselves in all of the crap that has happened these last couple of weeks. We humans are phenomenal at laying the guilt trip, that is, until someone like I come along and make it known that I am having a hard enough time with carrying my own crap, that what I have, to this point, have taught anyone at all is to simply be able to stand on their own without having to call in the gossiping cavalry or to defame or slander anyone else. Am I talking about me? Nope. I give, or at least try to give, NOT ONE PERSON any reason to have to lie about me or who I am. When I say something to anyone at all, I will do my best to keep my word, and if I cannot, I will tell whoever it is that I have given my word to the reason that I cannot.

It is called a little energy, a trait, if you will, and piece of a human soul that it cannot go through this lifetime without, and that one little thing that makes a big huge difference is called INTEGRITY.

Integrity…it’s that thing you are fucking off

Yes…I indeed do use some very adult type language, but it is because I tend to communicate these teachings to people who like to consider themselves “adult.” And while it may well be that you are, in years, technically and “adult,” there are things that you say and do, things you are not even really aware of you doing, that are nothing more than bad habits and seriously useless traits that, when you were younger, may have been useful, but as you got older, you hopefully have realized that it is all broken, it needs fixing, and no, you cannot jimmy-rig what has become so fucked up just so that it will work or appear to work, because really, it ain’t gonna work. No matter how hard you try to make it work. It just will not work. At all. So please stop forcing the proverbial square block into the round hole because the parts are not going to fit. Ever. And you just need to understand that much.

It is not that it would not ever work, but more that there are a lot of us who feel like they are really without sin. It is not until they realize that they have fallen short of the glory of the soul within them that things begin to make sense and how awful it is that it…you know, things…have to get to any point like this at all before we will get out of our own way, understanding that the other person is not the only guilty party – that we are all guilty in some manner, and that no one is without a blemish, because we show up into this motherfucker already damaged.Think about it.

Yeah…I am pissed – you bet your ass I am, and it is because too many of the humans on this planet fail to see that they cannot walk on water, that just because they have been hurt, that it is not forever, that on some level you are as wrong in all of the crap as anyone else would be, so why keep on keeping score when the score is really zero and no one wins? Why is it so important to anyone at all that we are right rather than right minded?

It’s because we have only been taught to be right, to make sure people know that we are technically right, and to make sure that those people know that they are beneath us. This is the truth. It’s ugly, isn’t it? It is hurtful, isn’t it? It kind of makes you want to not be such an ass hat when things do not go your way, simply because your ego cannot handle it anymore. That’s right – I said it, so fucking deal with it. The reason you are so not happy is because your ego keeps telling you that you are owed anything at all, and if we each bothered to see to ourselves and see for ourselves the things that we are not showing up in our own lives about, we would also see there the truth that is our own love for our very selves. If we cannot love our own self, who then can we love for real?

If you cannot get through this lifetime without someone else right there for you to be horrid to, I promise that you will not die and you might even fucking learn something. The one thing that I have leraned is that I can teach whatever I want to teach, be the best at what I do and with the part of society that I do my job with, but unless those who I am teaching really apply it all and take it to heart, and unless they are more willing to learn rather than try hard to skate through things and believing that they are somehow better than anyone else, you have a very big and ugly rude awakening that is coming to get you sooner than later, and no, there is nothing that I or anyone else can or even should do for you, because unlike a cheat sheet for a scan-tron test paper, in life there is no cheat sheet.

In life, when you fuck things up, you have to make them right. In life, when you do wrong and you do not even bother with a fucking apology, you are GOING TO go through whatever it is that you are intending and wishing onto anyone else at all. This is not my rule, but the Law of the Universe. You cannot escape your own ignorance and you can never escape the karma that you create that you will expect will just go the fuck away if you are also not willing to make right the wrongs and the hurts, to your best abilities, with others. You can be all the hard ass you want to be, but in kind those are who you will end up with. You can be all the “poor me” you want to be, but that is who you will end up with. You can be, say, do whatever the fuck you want, but remember that you will either create a karma debt, and for sure a lot of hurt feelings, but most of all, you will HAVE TO go through whatever it is that you have wished onto others, no matter what. Anger and being hurt ain’t good enough excuses to have to deal with whatever bullshit you volunteered to go through with anyone at all.

Remaining ignorant to your own crap is not a good thing – being strong enough to rise above your own ignorant bullshit is the key. Choosing to pretend to be too ignorant to get it is crap.

It is what is meant by people telling you, often, that ignorance indeed is bliss…

Integrity…it’s that thing that you obviously know not one fucking thing about

I Love You All…even when I have to cuss you out

ROX

Maika'i Ka 'Oiwi o Ka'ala - Splendid is the form of Mount Kaʻal

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“We All Bleed Red”

If you read anything today, do read this

Self Help Survival

Bleed Red – Ronnie Dunn

As the holidays and times of being thankful have approached and will soon be gone, it is important to remember that the spirit of thankfulness and gratefulness should be carried on everyday. ‘Bleed Red’ is a wonderful reminder that in this vast world, we all ‘bleed red’ and every person needs to be valued no matter who you are… an active addict / alcoholic, a recovering addict / alcoholic, Christian, not a Christian, Homosexual, Heterosexual, etc.  No one is better then anyone else and I am truly thankful for reading daily blogs on WordPress and other sites that remind me of this.  I am fascinated by what others have to write in regards to things such as emotional stories, open discussions about science / health, life stories, etc. Today, I am thankful and grateful that everyone is different in this world and that people share their differences, adversity…

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May your days be merry and bright

Today, and if only for today, remember…

I normally won’t write something the day before any major holiday. I did, a long time ago, but it always seemed like it was something that everyone else did, and if you all have not yet figured it out yet, I am so not everyone else. This is what today’s Merry Mana’o is about, to remind you to remember what is good, to recall what you learned from the things that hurt you, and most of all, to never forget that Love always prevails.

Sure, 2014 has not been the kindest of years for a whole lot of us, but I am sure that if we each and all stopped for a moment and thought about what the pain from the year has actually given to us each, we would learn to better use that energy of pain towards the energy that is wholeness.

Remember, if you remember anything at all, that holidays are not about the singular person, that they’re meant for us to be able to see things from that part within us that is about who we are for real, and not who we think the world expects us to be.

You can sit there, reading this, believing that I am writing to one person in particular, but that would not be the truth, and y’all know about me and the truth – it is the very life’s blood of everything that you see and know as the reality of not what you have been through, but more, who you are.

Lots of us have been given the beautiful truths that we longed for and those beautiful truths happened upon our lives all while there was not but ugliness all around, and in that ugliness there still is a bit of beauty, that things that i referred to in the past as being the beauty in the pile of excrement that we each and all have dared call our lives.

But that is what they are – ours, and they are ours to do with what we will, even and all the way down to questioning our own motives for our own truths… even if we found out that somewhere within us might have been the truth that we cannot deal with that is ours. Whether you believe it or not, that – the truth – is the greatest gift that any one of us could hope or wish for.

The truth about anything sets us each and all free, not from the hurtful intentions of others, but more, from our blindness to what is our own truth, our own damage, our own selves.  We each and all have a very hard time looking at our own damage. Regardless if it were someone else who gave it to us, we must see it as the ultimate gift, because contained within that gift are the facets of who we really are, which is the actual reason as to why we each have such a hard time with our own truth.

One day, each of us will choose to embrace the truth, and when that day happens, it is like opening up a Christmas gift that only we could give to ourselves. That gift is trust, perhaps not of everyone else in our lives, but most assuredly, eventually, of our very selves.

We can only look back at this year called 2014, at each and every piece of what has occurred, at what we have each lost, and what, more importantly, we have gained through it all, and forever we will know that what we experienced was meant to teach us about who we are, and for the most part, the majority of us all, in the singular manner, have come closer to that Stand Alone person who we are each and all striving to be.

Stand Alone, as I have often said and often say to many others, is not all alone, because in order to become Stand Alone, one must first know what it is like to be truly and completely all alone. I know that really, we are not ever totally alone, but all of us knows what it feels like to be by ourselves, to be lonely and to feel like no one loves us. Then one day the Mother Goddess sees to it that we understand that when we are meant to no longer just be all by ourselves, and when it is that She knows we are capable of being with ourselves and are fine and good in that manner,that the lessons of the year which passed come fully into play for us.

It is when it all makes perfect sense, and also when we can easily fit the pieces of our own selves into the puzzle that we call “our life”that we begin to see clearly, like the sun finally broke through the clouds.

So, on that note, and given that it is today, I will bid you all with this much…

When you see the children laughing and playing tomorrow morning, riding their new bikes or playing with their new toys, remember that joy, the very same joy that was yours, long before the world set in.

When you sit to break bread with others, whether tonight or tomorrow, and as you hear the evening prayer for the holiday meal, remember to say thank you to Spirit for bringing you together with these same people, people who, even as they may well drive you crazy throughout the year otherwise, they are a part of your holiday, so be grateful that you have lived long enough to see them age gracefully, too.

Remain solid in who you are, and never waiver from that person, because in doing so, you allow others to also do the same.

Most of all, though, do not fail to Love, because really, it is what brings us to our knees, makes us hurt, cry, rage, and paradoxically, is also which makes us whole again.

Mele Kalikimaka me ka Hau’oli Makahiki Hou…

May your days be merry and bright…Aloha!

I Love You All!

ROX

Merry Christmas Mana'o Blog 2014 shoot your eye out lol

 


Sometimes…

For what it is worth, sometimes, things happen that, even as we do not know where to go or what to do after the fact, we know that no matter what, it is actually for the best

Things happen sometimes at the most awful time that they can. This past week has been no exception, and my thought is that it is not only myself who has seen things happen that maybe needed to happen. As much as that might suck to read, and more, to have to deal with accepting, the truth of things is that sometimes, what we want is not what we need, because what we want has the real potential of not only getting in the way of our purpose and mission, but more importantly, it also has the potential to turn us into someone and something that we are not.

When it comes to the words of others, to the promises made by them, to the things that we are willing to hear, to accept, to listen to and to believe, the one thing that we cannot ever forget is to remain true to who we are. That is the most important thing that any one of us can do for ourselves, and the sad thing is that too many of us give up who we are for the purposes of trying to please or even appease others. That isn’t what we are supposed to be doing. What we are supposed to be doing is lifting each other up. We are not supposed to be judging each other, not supposed to play this global match of “the bossa you,” and for the most part, even though things, at this juncture in time, suck okole, the truth is that we are not different in a manner that we are not supposed to be, because the truth is that sometimes, things really do happen for a reason, and the reasons that things happened in the manner that they did in these last few days is because of one thing – to make us see what we are supposed to see.

Do you now see what you are supposed to see?

Some folks might think that I am being harsh right now, and maybe I might be, but the fact of the matter is that when it comes to the things that we try hard to not become, and when it is that something has been presented to us that seems like it is a good thing, and then when we find out that what we wanted was not what we thought it would be, let alone that what we wanted we really, really desired,  we become someone who we are not.

This is not my saying that if this past week, something that happened that damaged your property was what you deserved, but it is my saying that there are some of us who have gone on the deep end of things, thinking that when we heard what we heard, that all of our issues with our lives and all of our bullshit that we didn’t want to look at finally surfaced, the one thing that was left at the bottom of the everything that we hoped and wanted and wished for was who we really are. Who we really are, whether it is to ourselves or to anyone else, becomes tarnished with the energy that is the opposite of the things that we were willing to become, even though those things are not who we really are, we find out that it is not that someone else, that anyone else, needs to change for us, but that we need to really think about changes that need to happen for ourselves and by our very selves before we can add anyone else into the mix of the madness that is our own personal lives.

Our own personal lives

Let’s look at the example that is a new love between two people who have …well, a jumblefuck, really…of a life outside of those two. Now, don’t get me wrong – within relationships there are always going to be those little things that are meant to be there to keep folks in check and to keep them somewhere between the reality that is, and the reality that is in manifest, and the reality that is a memory – this will always be there, no matter what, and now matter what, it is up to the people involved in any relationship, no matter what kind, to take care of those things as best they can.

The issues do not happen until there comes an imbalance and a level of expectation by one, by both, that allows the tarnishing nature of entitlement and expectation to become the only thing that is allowed to be seen by others. It is not something that can be hidden, because when it happens, we don’t realize that it is happening.

We become these…morons…who think that we know what is best for anyone else and only in accordance to what it is that we want and need and desire. We can barely see past our own wants and needs, and we can barely allow ourselves to step aside from it, and we can barely feel our soul as it tries so very hard to breathe, to live, and to get out of the things that we think are meant to stop something from happening, when in reality, they end up being the very cause.

Sometimes, things just are not meant to be what we want them to be

Sometimes, we have got to look at things from a new place. We have to deal with not only what someone else did, said, made light of, but, we also have to deal with the fact that what we wanted, versus what we knew to be the truth, were not in alignment in many ways, with the most important way being that no matter how much we tried to make things happen, they just would not, and not because of anything more than that what it was that we wanted was not going to be beneficial for us, at all, and no matter how much we tried and tried, it was just not going to happen.

We could dream of things how we want them to be, but what we see in those dreams, for the most part, are only indicative of the things that we are desirous of and might not be the thing that we want to have happen. You will know when it is meant to happen because it will be easy, there will be almost no work, no effort at all, involved. There will be no talking anyone into anything. There will be no having to bargain with people, no bargaining with yourself. It will just happen. It will just be.

Things that are supposed to be will just be

I know that a lot of us want things to happen for us in the manner that we think they ought to, but lots of times, Spirit has another plan for us, and lots of times, those plans do not include the things that we think ought to happen.

Spirit is not beholden to our plans, to our thoughts, to the things that we want, but She is very dearly attached to our purpose, our mission with others, the things that we both want AND need in our lives, but we humans are so adept at getting in our own way most of the time that we cannot see past the goal that we have intended, and while that goal might be good for us and what we want, that goal may well not be the thing that is needed all the way around.

Sometimes it is better that we have lost, because in that loss we find things that were not apparent when we were blinded by what we wanted versus what was the best thing for us.

I Love You All !!

ROX

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The Longer the Wait…

The one thing that no one thinks about when it is that we are waiting for things to happen for us instead of to us is that, the bigger the blessing, the longer the wait.

If you have been studying matters of a Spiritual sort, for any amount of time at all, the one thing that, at this point in time, we should all be grasping hold of, right this minute, is that, the longer that we have to wait for things to change, and the more we have to wait for, pine for, worry over things, and the more that we have to turn to the Goddess for solace, and the more that we trust on the flow instead of pushing against it, the bigger the blessing for us. I do not have to prove this, because I live this, daily.

If we were to stop for a moment, and instead of only seeing the things that have happened that were not that great, and if we could, instead, put together the puzzle of things that, to this point, led us right here where we are a jumbled mess of worry, where we are not trusting ourselves, ourselves to be good enough and ready for the blessing, we would learn, very quickly, that what we are about to have at our disposal, and what we are to know that is our reality and our truth, we would learn easier also to just breathe and to go with the flow of life.

Is this me telling anyone at all to not worry, to not have issues with the idea that yeah – a whole hell of a lot of us have been through a whole hell of a lot for a hell of a long time, myself included?

Nope.

This is me telling anyone at all that instead of questioning anyone else about what the hell they are going to do, to question ourselves as to why it is that me, you, anyone at all, would not follow the pattern that has been set for us each and all and to pay attention not to the things that we did not have or get, but to the things that we know are ours and on their way to us.

Sometimes, it takes our simply believing

Well, actually, all the time it takes us to simply believe that, when we have a need, or a desire, that we are good enough for the blessing, that the blessing will come just when it is meant to and not when we think it should. This is in no way telling anyone at all that you should not worry, because yes, I know, we live in the real world while our feet are planted on each side of the veil between worlds. This is my telling anyone at all that when it comes to things like waiting for our day to celebrate, that we need to take into consideration the size of the things that we know are on their way to us, that we need to really think about how ready we really are for those things, or if, in fact, we are ready for those things at all?

We need to think in terms of the whole, and not only about our singular tiny personal worlds, the worlds that are the biggest thing to us. Is this my getting after you like someone’s mama? Maybe, but really, it is more like teacher is telling you that she cannot tell you the answer, will not tell you what you want to hear, but also telling you that you have been here before, not perhaps with these same people, and not perhaps with this same issue, but absolutely, you have been here.

You have been here

You have been here, in this place where you are as scared as you are going to be, and you have been here, right where you are, afraid, pissed off, believing that the world and the Goddess are having a laugh at your expense. You have been here where the pain is the most tumultuous thing to you, where the worry and the confusion and the things that are marring your very existence at this moment are the things that seem to be eating you alive, from the inside, out.

The one thing that I am asking that you do is to go back in your memory and see there how it was that you have handled things in the past and know, now, that that is NOT how you are supposed to handle them anymore. It is not that easy trying to handle the same things NOT in the same manner that in the past you may have handled them. It is not easy to not be the habitually driven creature that you are at this point, and that, too, is part of this tumult – to help you create a new method, a new manner, and thereby also creating a new energy by which you will have the chance in the future to go to in order to get through things with a little more ease than you might well have in the past.

Right now you are anything but calm, anything but relying on you for your own comfort. And really, I get it. I have been right there where you are, and in some ways totally AM right there where you are, in that place where you have no idea what to do, where you feel like you are not only at the mercy of other humans and their words of promise, even as they are relying on the words of promise brought to them by other humans, as well. There, right in that place where it seems that you are stuck and at the mercy of someone, of anyone, else, and really, the thing is not that you do not trust anyone, but that you have been messed with so much in the past that you might not be able to see that this is the time that you ought to be looking at your own pattern, not of how you trusted anyone else, but more, where it was that you might have overlooked a few things. Those few things, by the way, have nothing to do with the words of promise, nothing at all to do with anyone else’s words, and everything to do with how aware you are of the things that are not obviously seen.

We have been taught all of our lives to not trust others, to be cautious all the time, and while this is very good advice, it is also advice loaded with energy that will cripple the creative process, that will stifle healing, that will make it so that the things that you have worked toward at this moment are somehow not going to work. They DO work, but the thing is that you, in all of your human being-ness, have done what a good human does, as much as we all do, and have erred on the side of caution. This is never a bad thing, but it can be a very stifling thing, to say the very least.

The Stifle

Being literally clueless to the answers to some of our immediate worries is a bitch. I am in the middle of it right now, and it sucks. There are things that I need to happen, because of obvious reasons, and there are things that I know others need to happen, for also obvious reasons, and when it seems like there is no one to listen and no place to turn to and that nothing can be done, we freak out. It is very easy for me to sit here and tell anyone that they need to just chill, because at the same time, I am doing anything but chillin’.

There are things that I am depending on to be real, and things that I need to happen, and things that, if they don’t happen, and while I will figure out another way, would be of tremendous help, right this moment, and right this moment is very stifling and it should not be. Right this moment there are things happening that are out of our control, and right this moment is when we ought to be paying attention to the things that we are not paying attention to, simply for the fact that in paying attention to the things that we have not paid any to as of late, we are not only closing a different circle, but we are also adding closure to the bigger one and the one that means the most to any one of us at all.

That which means the very most to anyone at all is that which is the very thing which will be seen to first

Ever notice how it is that the things that we worry for the most are the things which we believe keep us from worrying? The reality is that, the things that we worry the most about ARE the things that bring us the worry in the first place. If there is a lack in any sense at all in our lives, it is spawned from our ability, our perfection in terms of being able to worry about an outcome that we truly are the ones directing, either in, or out, of our favor. This could be anything, really. It could be something tangible and real in terms of things, and it can be something that is intangible, such as the way someone else who we feel strongly about feels about us…anything…and when I say anything, I mean exactly THAT!

The things that mean the most to us will absolutely present themselves when they are meant to, and more, when we most need them to be presented.  We can try to make them be real sooner than we are ready to see them in that reality, but until we are ready for whatever it is that we have coming to us, that reality will not be, not ever be, until we are ready.

If things are not happening the way that you want them or need them to, it is not about someone else – it is dearly and only about you and how you are feeling about the mix of energies that may well be coming from those who are well meaning but not well placed in the energies that are filled with fear and mistrust. No one owes anyone at all a good enough reason to make THEM feel better, namely not when the person who may well need that feeling of peace and calm is YOU and NOT them. They have no say over what is making you crazy, making you think in ways that you know you ought to not be thinking in.

Really, it’s the thought that counts…

I will say it until I am blue in the face – watch what you are thinking, perhaps not at all times, but, catch yourself when you start thinking thoughts that are of a weighty, negative nature, because in those thoughts is contained the energy which manifestation of our greatest lives is at.

Sometimes, when we are caught in the middle of a bunch of crap, and we are seemingly at the bottom of the barrel in terms of things that we need in our tangible reality, we get emotional and we turn back to the ways that we once knew as our version of normal. Our old version of normal, a normal which includes fretting over things because they are not in the rank and file order that we need them to be so as to make our own minds rest, no longer fits who we have each evolved to. Sure, we always go back to that, but in the grander scheme of things, we know better.

Most of the time, light workers are able to rise above the confusion, above the energy that is worry and lack, but I will not sit here and lie to anyone and tell you all that you will never worry again. I would never say that. I will say, though, that once it is that you have made it through any lesson at all, and once it is that you have been able to rise above the pain of the hurt brought by worrying and the like, you will begin to realize one sure thing – once it is that you make it through that particular issue, it becomes your choice that you will worry like that again.

That’s right – once you learn to not see things only for what the tangible nature of it is, and once you can get through to the idea that whatever it is that you see as your end result, no matter what and how you get there, what you see there is the truth. It is your truth. When you can look at things and see them as being symbolic, you know, too, that if you have been steadfast in your learning, steadfast in the focus needed to look at the thing at the end, and remain not trained on the thing at the end but the journey to get there and what it is that you are learning on the way there, you will begin to see things in a whole new light.

You will see that maybe you were just not ready for that one thing, at least not just yet. You will see there that maybe you didn’t know it all, no matter what all it was that you were knowing about, or at least thought you were knowing about.

Once it is that you have made yourself ready for the thing at hand, and once it is that you can handle the bigness of what is about to become your own truth in reality…then, and only then, will the tangible evidence of it all become also the very reality of it all, and a reality through which became that way through your own hand.

It’s a lot to think about, isn’t it? When was the last time that you were so impatient for a means to an end that, when it came right down to it, the answer was right there the whole time, and all you really had to do was look at it without thinking that you could change it?

It’s a hard question to answer…but one whose answer reveals more than you thought you knew about a whole lot…the truth is that, the longer that we wait for anything at all, the bigger the blessing is at the end of the wait, and the blessing might not be what you thought it was at the start of things, but something completely and all together different, even as the tangible reality is exactly what you thought it would be.

I Love You All !

ROX

 

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Things Unsaid

When learning things regarding our lessons, there are things that cannot be said for the simple reason that if it is said, it cannot be learned. 

When I started college, my initial “thing” was to study Behavioral Science so that when I chose to grow up into the teacher that I did not know I was meant to be (and that is SO not what I imagined it to be), I would be able to not only help other people retrain their brain to think right (and thereby act right), but more, I would be able to stand in front of a gallery of young college students and teach them what I know about our behavior and why we are so prone to trippin’ out all the time over things that we ought not be trippin’ about.

It didn’t happen that way.

I had NO CLUE that, indeed, I was meant to become a teacher of things, but not of things contained in actual academic texts, and neither of things, at least in the manner of speaking in terms and about things…academic…but rather and only in terms of bigger, more important things…things like daily walking the healing Path, and daily living a Spiritually led life. Little did I know that I would be able to use what I know and what I learned in college to further the actual teaching that I would do, which is not just right here every week, but out in the real world of souls which, in case none of you have looked at things in the manner that I constantly look at them, not everyone is going to end up in college, and not everyone is going to be able to discern for themselves what it is that is their “trip” in terms of what they’re trippin’ on.

Teaching People How Not To Be Trippin’

My work in this world became evident to me a couple of years ago, when I was on the phone at one point with the lovely April, and then at another point, the equally as lovely Dannie. One of them said that hula would be mine forever, but that it was not going to be what it had always been for me but would become SO much more than what ANY Kumu Hula could imagine, and she was right. The other said that if I thought that everything I knew at that point, and now, everything I know plus everything that I employ daily as a means for helping others learn, was meant to be contained and locked within the confines of the conventional classroom, I had another thing comin’ (yeah yeah shut up…I love my leather clad mahus…get over it lol).

Where one told me that I would never stop dancing OR teaching hula, the other told me that it would be through not only what I’d learned in college, but more, what I’d learned through all the crap that I had gone through for so long and that seemed normal to me. Even though I knew that the things that I had been witness to, things that I had experienced in my life even to that point, in my mid-30’s, were some of the most … horrific experiences… in terms of emotional toll taken, when it was that I was told these things and because of all of the things that shook my very core and shook the trust in others right out of me, I knew that I could trust my two best friends. I knew that I could trust them because they’d both been telling me things, sometimes outright, and sometimes in a veil of mystery.

A Veil of Mystery

*Clears Throat* …ahem…students…welcome to class today. This part of this writing is addressing those who I am actively teaching, those who are feeling like they are at their wit’s ends with my telling you each that the things that you want to know, versus the things that you need to know, combined with the things that I know and the things that I cannot tell you are what this is all about today.

Yep…don’t I know it? I know that many of you cannot stand the idea that there have been more than only a few times that I have said to the each of you that the thing that you are asking me to tell you is the very thing that you are learning about and that because you are learning that one thing, I am not able to tell you what you want to know that you already know that I do know, and you know that I know because I told you that I know.

And indeed, I have a problem with this one thing, too, and yes, my own teachers, to this day, STILL tell me the VERY SAME THINGS that I tell all of you – that if I knew I could tell you what it is that you are meant to be learning, I would. If I knew that what you are learning was something that I would not have to reexperience myself, that I would have to go through again, that I would have to deal with even though I had already gone through it, I would. If I knew that you were not as close as you are to where you are meant to be with this one thing, I might give you a hint, but I cannot just tell you what it is that you want to know because of one thing…

One Thing…

Yes, you read that right – if I tell you what you have asked me to tell you, have had a tantrum over not knowing and have told me that you don’t care if you have to learn it and that you will learn it and use the information that I give you as Cliff notes, not only will I have to relearn that same lesson but not for the same reasons that you, yourself, are learning it, but it will likely suck for me way, way more than it did the first time because – yes, I’ve already been there, I’ve already done that, and in sharing my cheat sheet with anyone at all, it is like my telling Spirit that I need to retake the test.

Think about when you were in high school and that one teacher with a hard on for NOT telling any of us what we wanted to know and realize that this is the very same thing, only it is not a grade you are working toward to get out of high school, but rather and only the armor needed to get through the next lesson you will learn in relation to the one that you are learning and that I cannot tell you what you want me to tell you.

The reason that we are met with difficulties in our lives, and the reason that things seem to come crashing down onto us at the most inconvenient times in our lives, and the reason that you secretly will wish my brain to collapse, dry, shrivel up into a walnut in my skull is so that we can master that part of our lives. Unlike the grading scale in conventional school and typical learning, being taught to navigate your life from the Soul out, and more – mastering it all – is hands on. This means that you don’t get to have a book, and you don’t get to have extra credit, and nothing that is familiar to you in terms of how you have learned things in the manner that is learning in the traditional sense – none of that will be of any good purpose for you when it comes to lessons in coping, lessons in growing, in acceptance, in Loving who you are. And really, THAT is what it is that seems to be SO difficult about all of this weirdness that you are all learning, not only about me, but more importantly, about you.

The reality is that in this lifetime we need some sort of guidance, some of us more than others, but not because some of us are more duh than others, but because all of us are learning something different at the same time. What I am learning is not what you are learning, but this does not mean that there is not anyone else on the planet or even within my own awareness who is also not learning the same thing, perhaps, as any one of us would be at any given time at at all.

The Karmic Thing About Teaching

Yes…there’s that word that you all love to hate – Karma, Karmic, whatever – and you hate it because every time I use it, you KNOW that there is something that you are going to learn whether you want to or not, and that what you are learning, I already know about, and that I am not able to tell you how to get out of. It just has to be done and I cannot tell you because really, if I tell you what you are learning about, I will have to go through that lesson of NOT telling you.

It is like when a mother is teaching her kid to behave – at first, we might tell that kid about what they are doing that is not okay to do, and then when they do it again and again, we want to trip out on them and tell them how to do that one thing that we know will keep them out of the spot they are in at the moment. Yet, every parent knows that the kid will not listen, will not do what he or she has been told will get them out of the spot they’re in. Most parents will go out of their minds about that one thing, will try, over and over again to get that kid to do things they need to do in order to get out of that spot.

In the same manner, students of many different spiritual paths will end up that same way. I know this. I was this student and more times than not am still this student, and like a rock-headed human being, I have a snit, and I beg and plead and ask and to no avail – still, I must learn, and still, my teachers, like I will not, do not budge.

So, kiddos, that is why I cannot tell you more than I tell you, why I will not allow you, as my charge, to not learn, because that is my place in your life – teacher. And I am a damned good one. I was told so…by my own teachers…and yep, haha….it was one of those things that I was not allowed to be told and that I had to learn…

I Love You All !

ROX

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