Tag Archives: Aloha

Soul Contract

Hawaiian 100 dollar bill yo

Human beings absolutely NEED an exchange of energies with other human beings.  There is something called an exchange of energies between souls. That there is this exchange is one thing, but that within that exchange is a contract created is completely a different story.

Ho’okupu, in the Hawai’ian language means to honor someone else with an even exchange of Mana, or spiritual energy, for the work that they have done, for the thing that they have brought to someone else that is a thing or a service that the other person needed. It is essentially the word that I want to call “barter,” but it isn’t bartering – it is exchanging goods or services for pay or honors.

It is not until we have chosen, instead, to not honor the agreement that was made between souls, let alone human beings on the tangible level, that the ugliness begins. The ugliness begins when the contract between souls has been violated. The way that it is violated is simply when one soul’s body decides that it has a better idea and that better idea involves that person NOT honoring the contract between souls.

The Contract Between Souls

There are a lot of ways in which I could write this so that it would be much easier for people to not get offended when I say that there are way too many people who we share the air with who are SO cheap, or at least it seems like it, that they will scrutinize every tiny little thing that you bring to their attention in terms of what is, and more, what is not, correct about the reason why it is that they seem to believe that you are at their service when in reality what you are is IN service to all of humanity.

This is not about just money, folks. This more about respect for other people and what they do that makes them thrive. Think about it this way – would you want to walk away from something that you so enjoy doing and also get paid for just because people seem to refuse to want to pay you? And really, I don’t know if it is a refusal to pay, or more of a control thing, but I do know that humans, for the most part, like feeling like they have some sort of measure of control over other people, like making it seem as though we have the one-up on others.

When we choose to not exchange the proper energies, we don’t have anything more than a Karma debt.

Ladies and gentlemen…once again to the stage – KARMIC DEBTS

You see, folks, Karma, as most of you know, is very real. It takes its form in a manner that whoever must make things right will understand even as they might not understand why it is that they are now having trouble trying to get what they have coming to them. The one thing that is most maddening is when the Karma debt that others must pay and the lesson brought to them through us also involves our not getting what we need from them. This is not to say that we will never get what we need, only to say that if we are indeed, and unknown to our thoughts, the teacher of the lesson for the person refusing to trade right energies, we will suffer alongside them, and we won’t know why.

This is when the most of us think it is that we are who are paying this debt, when in reality, we are part of the important line of teachers for someone else. I know this lesson very well. I have been the bringer of lessons for a whole lot of people, and when it comes to that point where they are not getting it in terms of why they are suffering, I am driven to ask them who they have been to that point and why it seems as though they are not paying attention to the theme of their pain.

The Theme of Your Pain

At this time, the pain in my life is connected to tangibles. It is because for the entirety of my life, I have always placed people before things. Then I married the one person who, until recently, I didn’t believe was a very greedy, insecure mess of a human being whose only security came in the form of how much money and toys he had.

My money and toys, for a long time, because that is how HE wanted it, were connected to his ability to gain those things for me, as though I would never be able to gain them for myself. The problem with this was that I was being abused, and because of that, I was totally dependent upon his choices so that I could survive. I won’t lie – it was a nice, materially rich survival, but in that method of survival, my soul was dying.

My soul was dying because it seemed as though I was not going to be what or who I was meant to become. While I know that it is not the case, I still had to go through all what I went through in order to be this me. In order to be this me, I had to exchange these energies with this person for a very long time so that in my own thinking, I would automatically have that thought that even as money is nice, people are nicer. Even as things make me happy, being with the people who I love the very most is the most important thing in the world to me. I needed to be reminded of this, and the only way that Spirit would be able, through Her own Wisdom and Her own measure of communicating particularly with me, was through the giving to me and the taking away from me OF me.

In order for me to be this particular me, and a version of me who I can now tolerate, I HAD TO learn a whole LOT of truths about a whole LOT of things and those lessons had to come through the person and the relationship that I thought, wrongly, that I would be able to depend on the most.

I am ecstatic to say that, even though I went through whatever it was that I went through, I learned who I am by learning who I am NOT. In order to know who this version of me is, I had to peel away the layers of wrong-me so that I could get to this me.

In order to be this me is the same as “in order to be this you”

That anyone else will break a soul contractual agreement is one thing, but that we do not know why it is that we have to suffer with other people is quite a different thing all together.

We do not know what another person’s purpose in our lives is right at the moment that we meet them. We do not know what it is that they are teaching us or what we have to learn from them. We only know that they are in our lives and that whatever purpose they hold for us remains to be seen.

I am not the only person on this planet who has had to go through things. My Maestro has been through a whole LOT of things, and my Mexican soul sister, a woman who I grew up with and whose name is Karla, also been through a whole lot of things, and just like me, these two people had to get through some very ugly crap in order to be who they are right now, and who they are right now is not someone who they thought they might be. While I cannot say who either of these people might have thought they might be is neither here nor there, but, the fact remains that they each have gone through so very much that to think that either of them would be here, alive and well and here to live their purpose is the most miraculous thing of all to me.

It is miraculous NOT because I do not believe that either of the two of them would be able to handle whatever came their way to this point, but because of the strength of their character being so strong that there would be no other way for either of them. This is the trade off they each made with Spirit, the deal that they each made that told not only The Mother Goddess who they knew they were meant to be, but that they were not willing and neither ready to throw in the towel and let the people who let them down in their own lives win again.

They didn’t win, in case you didn’t know

I could sit here and tell people what normally I will tell them, and that is that while it appears that other people in our lives who bring to our lives all of the turmoil have not won, it is a hard sell when I am telling people one thing and their lives are telling them what they, the people, have heard for the majority time of their lives – things change for the better if we are willing to see to it.

Yes…you have to be willing to see to your own lives, and you have to be willing to believe that you have value and are worthy to live that best life. You have to be able to grit your teeth, get through the last of the crap from the last crap you went through and all of the crap that came before it. You have to use your strength and your will and you have to cry, laugh, get good and fucking angry, and most of all, you have GOT TO try.

If you do not try to at least be the best version of you that you can create, that is when all those people who talked all that shit to you for all that time will win. If you do not at least keep up with the contract that you have with your own soul to live your life to the fullest in every part of it, everyone else will win. If you do not try hard to just not allow what other people think of you just not matter anymore (and we ALL have this problem, myself especially included), they will win. If you bother with being bothered, most assuredly, they will win.

They will win because you will have allowed theirs to be the governing voice in your head instead of the voice that tells you that you are worthy to Love you. They will win because you will lower your own self to accept what they think about you as your truth. They will win because you will, once again, have allowed them to bully you into thinking that you need to be what is their model of you rather than who you are for real.

They will win because even though you do not believe one word of what they are saying, have said, might say, you give a shit of what their opinion of you is overall, and overall, the only opinion that ought to matter to you, at least at first, is your own. This is not to say that you should not be bothered by what people think of you, because it is human to want to be Loved and accepted by people, period. But, when it comes to who you are, for real, and people do not like who you are, which is different than what you look like (you’d be amazed at h ow many adults don’t realize that they think what they look like is who they are…yeesh!) it makes you wonder what it is that you can do to make them Love you.

Nothing – you can DO nothing to make ANYONE Love you as you are

Unfortunately, human beings do not come with a guarantee that says that we are going to be Loved by everyone justbecause we are this version of who we are. The contract between souls will not allow for it. If we are Loved by everyone, we will not know what is darkness against the Light. We need to know what is our own darkness so that we can also know our own light, and in that knowing we have to also be able to see in others that which is also within us. That’s right – we have to know what is darkness, not to avoid it, but to be able to use  it.

Using our darkness to also highlight the light that is within us is one of our tools for learning. Without being able to recognize what is the part of us that can be intolerable, can be offensive, can be that person who just sort of climbs into their shell of the soul for protection from the ugliness that is or can be life, we do not know ourselves fully and therefore cannot accept who we are because we will not know who we are. Without being able to know what we are not, we cannot know what or who we are, and if we do not know that much, how the hell can we honor the contract of the Soul which we have made not only with others, particularly our Soul tribes, and more particularly, our very selves?

You see, other people are not the only ones who we have a soul contract with. We also have this same contractual agreement with ourselves. It isn’t only my Soul Tribe who I have contracts of the soul with, isn’t only the Maestro, isn’t only Karla, my kids, my blood relations…I also have to honor this contract with me.

Honoring the contract with you

We let ourselves down the most, and we do this when we are not willing to live up to who we are rather than what is stressing us out in the tangible world. This is not my telling you that the work that you do in the tangible sense does not have to get done or is somehow unworthy of the time and Love you spend on it. I totally get it.  We all know that is not the truth.

What I am saying is that any time we take on work, and any time we are in an exchange of energies with other people, our contract with ourselves is that we do our highest best, no matter what we are doing. When we do things at a lower energetic level in the soul, and we do things because we want other people to know what it feels like if we purposely and out of spite or revenge don’t do them, whose soul are we actually dishonoring? Theirs…or ours?

Our own, of course, and we are told this much when we leave a place and we know we left not having done our highest best good, or at least have given our highest best effort, and that little voice within tells us that we could have done better. This is not me saying to get taken advantage of, because you are, for the most part, smarter than that, and honoring the soul contract with one’s own self is not one that says that you have to do things to impress other people or to even make them like you, and certainly you do not, under any circumstance, do things honorable for dishonorable people .You know to do things that make your soul feel like it has done the best that it could with the body that it lives in, doing the tangible things that it does with the soul’s purpose in mind.

That is how things need to be – everything done with the Soul’s purpose in our minds, no matter what it is we are doing…even our tangible work in the world. 

I Love You All

ROX

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Currently Attempting to Just Be

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Anyone reading this right now might well have the sensation that this trying to “Just Be” thing is kind of a bitch to actually make happen.

Please bear with me today, because today I am really trying hard to not sound like a whiny princess who cannot get her own ass up and at ’em.

For a long time I was told, taught, expected to learn how to just Be. Just being is the thing that most humans need to be able to do, but, for the very life of me, I am having a very hard time doing it. I like leisure time, and I like being able  to just chill, but lately, I do notwant to just chill. Lately, it feels like there is always something that I MUST be doing, and more than that, it also feels, right now, like I am …AM…doing something not quite correctly. That something is merely and only and simply just Being.

Just Being

Again, you will have to bear with me because I am having a very hard time with this just being thing.

I have heard that I am quite phenomenal at just Being, but I don’t know that because always, I have a hard time just not doing anything, even if that means that the things that I AM doing is thinking. I get paid for it – my ability to think, and my ability to think in terms that not a lot of other people are able to.

Being able to think in terms that not a lot of other people are able to takes a LOT of time, a LOT of practice and a whole lot of utilization of that one ability. I do not know if I am being stretched in terms of this ability, but I do know that at this moment, given that I know that this is NOT going to be one of those magnificently thought out pieces of writing that I always intend on creating, I am at that place, once again, where the only thing that I am able TO do is to Be.

To Be means that one is the observer and not the doer. 

That is my problem. That is the problem that a whole lot of us humans here on earth have – the inability to simply and merely just Be.

I am not that great at sitting still for very long, and I am not that great at telling people to handle their own circuses and neither their insane monkeys…and my own mental monkeys have, for the moment, just chosen to not behave. Perhaps it is that they need a break from performing, or maybe it is that they are all telling me that I need to stop the toiling for the words, and stop the madness that is trying hard to get to the next and higher level of my own life, and just breathe.

I would love nothing more than to just be able to stop and do just that. The issue is that I, along with a whole lot of other people, have taken on this energy, for years, that in order for us to be worthy humans, we always and all have to be…HAVE TO BE productive. While I am indeed productive in the manner that is teaching other people to train their thoughts so as to become better habits, I am very much not this way when I KNOW that the time has come to just let go of everything that I see coming to me, to let go of how long it feels as though it is taking, to let go of everything that I have riding on it all, including this blog, and take a break from doing and try hard to just Be.

I am not alone in this

Lots of us do not realize that the inability to just Be comes from a lifetime’s worth of the recording in our heads that tells us that we are not impressing anyone else, but namely ourselves, when we are just “sitting around and doing nothing.”

This is the thing that a whole lot of people grew up hearing, and to this day, because of this one thing, and because a lot of us do not know how to make it stop, and more than anything else, because of the innate “need” to become worthy, so to speak, in the eyes, thoughts, minds of those who were of major significance in our lives as children and then later, still, as adults, we find this habitual “thing” happening to us, this thing called the inability to just Be.

It is a crippling thing, really, the idea that there is a population of people on this planet who cannot relax unless we are doing something.

The thing that I have chosen to “do” so that I can just Be.

Weekends are very important to me, namely Saturdays, which today is Saturday, because it is the one day of the week where I share my time in the manner that is valuable. I have chosen to just Be in the manner that is bringing new life, through planting and nourishing my own self through the doing of proliferating plant life.

When we give our own life force to other beings, even those beings which are not human beings, and even as that is what I do each weekend, this weekend, while not different, has been consciously set in my mind as a “not doing to do, but doing to be” type thing. It is the only thing that I am sure will make me not feel like I do right now, which is not that great.

Feeling not that great means that somewhere, at least within me, there is a need to just let go of the things that have bothered me for so long a time anymore and just Be.

Notice how I keep writing that one phrase, “just Be”?

…yeah, me, too.

This is the way that the Mother Goddess repeats Herself to her kids, and apparently, because I wrote this same thing, almost, in my other blog, ‘Just Rox’, She is screaming at me through my ability to physically see.

So, folks…with that much known…

Aloha nui…

I Love You All

ROX

 

 


May your days be merry and bright

Today, and if only for today, remember…

I normally won’t write something the day before any major holiday. I did, a long time ago, but it always seemed like it was something that everyone else did, and if you all have not yet figured it out yet, I am so not everyone else. This is what today’s Merry Mana’o is about, to remind you to remember what is good, to recall what you learned from the things that hurt you, and most of all, to never forget that Love always prevails.

Sure, 2014 has not been the kindest of years for a whole lot of us, but I am sure that if we each and all stopped for a moment and thought about what the pain from the year has actually given to us each, we would learn to better use that energy of pain towards the energy that is wholeness.

Remember, if you remember anything at all, that holidays are not about the singular person, that they’re meant for us to be able to see things from that part within us that is about who we are for real, and not who we think the world expects us to be.

You can sit there, reading this, believing that I am writing to one person in particular, but that would not be the truth, and y’all know about me and the truth – it is the very life’s blood of everything that you see and know as the reality of not what you have been through, but more, who you are.

Lots of us have been given the beautiful truths that we longed for and those beautiful truths happened upon our lives all while there was not but ugliness all around, and in that ugliness there still is a bit of beauty, that things that i referred to in the past as being the beauty in the pile of excrement that we each and all have dared call our lives.

But that is what they are – ours, and they are ours to do with what we will, even and all the way down to questioning our own motives for our own truths… even if we found out that somewhere within us might have been the truth that we cannot deal with that is ours. Whether you believe it or not, that – the truth – is the greatest gift that any one of us could hope or wish for.

The truth about anything sets us each and all free, not from the hurtful intentions of others, but more, from our blindness to what is our own truth, our own damage, our own selves.  We each and all have a very hard time looking at our own damage. Regardless if it were someone else who gave it to us, we must see it as the ultimate gift, because contained within that gift are the facets of who we really are, which is the actual reason as to why we each have such a hard time with our own truth.

One day, each of us will choose to embrace the truth, and when that day happens, it is like opening up a Christmas gift that only we could give to ourselves. That gift is trust, perhaps not of everyone else in our lives, but most assuredly, eventually, of our very selves.

We can only look back at this year called 2014, at each and every piece of what has occurred, at what we have each lost, and what, more importantly, we have gained through it all, and forever we will know that what we experienced was meant to teach us about who we are, and for the most part, the majority of us all, in the singular manner, have come closer to that Stand Alone person who we are each and all striving to be.

Stand Alone, as I have often said and often say to many others, is not all alone, because in order to become Stand Alone, one must first know what it is like to be truly and completely all alone. I know that really, we are not ever totally alone, but all of us knows what it feels like to be by ourselves, to be lonely and to feel like no one loves us. Then one day the Mother Goddess sees to it that we understand that when we are meant to no longer just be all by ourselves, and when it is that She knows we are capable of being with ourselves and are fine and good in that manner,that the lessons of the year which passed come fully into play for us.

It is when it all makes perfect sense, and also when we can easily fit the pieces of our own selves into the puzzle that we call “our life”that we begin to see clearly, like the sun finally broke through the clouds.

So, on that note, and given that it is today, I will bid you all with this much…

When you see the children laughing and playing tomorrow morning, riding their new bikes or playing with their new toys, remember that joy, the very same joy that was yours, long before the world set in.

When you sit to break bread with others, whether tonight or tomorrow, and as you hear the evening prayer for the holiday meal, remember to say thank you to Spirit for bringing you together with these same people, people who, even as they may well drive you crazy throughout the year otherwise, they are a part of your holiday, so be grateful that you have lived long enough to see them age gracefully, too.

Remain solid in who you are, and never waiver from that person, because in doing so, you allow others to also do the same.

Most of all, though, do not fail to Love, because really, it is what brings us to our knees, makes us hurt, cry, rage, and paradoxically, is also which makes us whole again.

Mele Kalikimaka me ka Hau’oli Makahiki Hou…

May your days be merry and bright…Aloha!

I Love You All!

ROX

Merry Christmas Mana'o Blog 2014 shoot your eye out lol

 


The Gift That Is Being Aloha

No matter what anyone thinks, you do not have to be ethnically Hawai’ian to show Aloha, and neither to Know Aloha…

Aloha.

It technically means “Breath of Life,” which, in my line of vocation, it would be the Breath of Life through the show of Aloha which would be the one thing that I personally chalk up to being the most wonderful thing in the world. Aloha is the energy that a lot of us do not know we have within us. And really, my opinion is that it is because too many people who are not Hawai’ian have made that one word somehow a…(gulp)…sales pitch, and it is so not a sales pitch, we have this … ridiculousness…that is not the truth of what is Being Aloha.

I don’t care that in some parts of commerce and some parts of the country that today is “Aloha Friday”…for lots of people on the planet, everyday is a day to give to others the Breath of Life.

Aloha can be thought to literally mean “Joyfully Sharing Life.” While this is just the thought, it was the only way that I could explain what it really means and as has been taught to me for the majority of my life on this rock we all call home.  I am not addressing anyone in particular. I am addressing the fact that there are a lot of us who are not Hawai’ian and who have been showing Aloha for as long as you have been breathing the very air that we all share.

Mahalo nui loa, by the way, for doing so, because there really is no such thing as too much Aloha.

This is what this posting is all about, really – the idea that there are 7 days in a week, but the only day set aside for even the very word “Aloha” is Friday. If you are vocationally spiritual, everyday is a day to share, to give, to spread, to offer, and most of all, to Be, Aloha.

It is the truth that we Hawai’ians are meant and born into this lifetime for the purpose of Being Aloha. 

It is a sadness that is real to a lot of light workers, the idea that there are some who share this same energy in their lives with me and who are not willing to not pick and choose who they will show their Aloha to. Yes, light workers are still humans, and we still have the ability to feel things that hurt us, and really, light workers are a group of people on this planet here to lend to the healing of souls which are sharing the air with us. That we are such wounded healers is a very good reason as to why it is that we are also, alongside all of my Hawai’ian Ohana globally, meant to go out into this world on the daily and spread the energy that is Aloha – because we are the very ones who understand how elusive we want to believe it is. The reason that we believe it is elusive is because many of us, many, many people who are here with us in this lifetime know how to Love, but they are scared to do so, because they have been so hurt in the past by it in every possible way that it can be had that they become guarded.

When we are talking about the collective of Hawai’ian people on this planet we are talking also about an entire race of people who feel a collective hurt, because historically we have been wronged on many levels and really, on that same collective level, there is a guardedness, a deep mistrust in people who are not the same, at least for MANY of us, as us, (you know…Kanaka) and on that level I understand that pain. However, at a level that too many of us shun, I understand, too, the pain that is the collective of the rest of the world, the part of the All That Is that makes it so that we have the experiences we have with the people who we have them with. There is a lot of pain, collectively, within the Hawai’ian race, and our only answer, at least for the most part of us, is that we know we are meant to spread Aloha, so, yes, even begrudgingly, we give what we have in abundance to those who have no idea that Aloha is NOT a silly word that we have all heard people on TV slaughter and say incorrectly.

Aloha is an energy that holds prevalence for us all, even if you are not Hawai’ian – you are human, and that makes you part of the human ohana, the one that Spirit puts together, and the one that Spirit ensures is not so much divided in terms of being divided from other people, but divided in terms of which part of the human race will show Aloha in this form or that form, and which part of the human race will be the ones to musically show Aloha, and which ones will it be to do so through artistic means, through financial means, through whatever means it is that we each were specifically designed for.

Think of it as this is our job, and this is what manner that we present ourselves in the boundaries of that job

I hate to put it that way, but this seems to be the way that most folks understand what I write. It is our job as humans, and more so if we are humans of the Hawai’ian persuasion, to be the beacon of light for others who are traveling the path of Spirit, of enlightenment, of Love. Often times we are mistaken for being hippies, but that is not what we are. We are not here to make ourselves physically presentable to anyone else, and the manner in which we show up is the way that it is so that the people who we are meant to share our Aloha with and the manner that it will present itself to the rest of the world is how it will come across.

For instance, I LOVE rock music, have a deep endearment for those whose lives are lived in the “indie” manner, and I just love to inject my personal brand of Hawai’ian into that set of humans. Because I am, so to speak, “one of them,” I am approachable and these people – mostly musicians and artistic types like myself – understand my words because outside of my being a Maoli Girl, I am also one of them. I speak “rock musician,” and I speak “indie rock,” and I speak “metal,” and “party girl,” and all of those other things that happen to be part of that genre of life.

Because they are the main group of kind of people that I meld best with, these are also the sort who make up my Soul Tribe – which is a group of people who I refer to as being my “Hanai Ohana,” or, “adopted family.” While I have my blood family and love them dearly, it is my Hanai Ohana who I share the tightest bond with, and it is because our mission, collectively, is the same. It is this same way in all walks of life, and if we are paying better attention to it all, we will see who our own “Hanai Ohana” is.

A few examples

That one guy at the office…the one who you talk all the time to about that one thing you have in common…it could be a love for professional sports or a love for coaching kids in said same sport…this guy has the possibility of being your Hanai Ohana…

That one lady – you know who she is, and you so dearly enjoy talking to her all the time because she gives you the feeling that you are part ofher world, even if you don’t know one another that well. She is your friend. You are her friend. You share some things in common that you know means that there is something there that you ought to be figuring out more of, and that one thing is the welcoming energy that is the Aloha shared between you.

Most of us have cousins, and within that set of people with whom you share not only Aloha, but also DNA, are people who are part of your Soul Tribe, of your Hanai Ohana, because within that set of cousins and you there is a special bond that exceeds the limitations of blood, surpasses the boundaries of things that are or can be typically annoying within anyone’s extended family.  Oh MAN do I know this one REALLY well…try thinking that you are the only one who can be called “weirdo” for the majority of your life and then one day you find out you have cousins who are JUST like you are…it makes for a totally different energy where, in the past, you felt like that energy of ugliness within DNA ties would never go away. Finding out things like this sort of makes up for all the times in one’s life where you felt like the black sheep, only to find out that you were more the stand alone wolf than much else.

And more than that, where it was that others placed you at the end of the proverbial pack, you turned things around and came back larger than life leading said pack…but you don’t know this without also accepting that maybe, just maybe, you have been going about all this…Aloha…stuff…not quite in the manner that you could have been, and all because you didn’t know better.

Yes – because you did not know better. I grew up in the energy that is “Us versus them” in terms of being Hawai’ian. Through some blood family, I was taught to see that because I am Hawai’ian, I am different, that I have the right to recognize this about myself, and that it is a good thing to make it known that this is what I am.

This is all fine and good until and unless someone who believes that they have a little bit of power within the familial groove thing  and believes that it is their right to teach not only the people within their family this lie, but then who go out into the world and teach others this lie about Aloha…Aloha and being one of the millions of “faces of Aloha” – you know… KANAKAS… that to be part of this Nation of the Kingdom of Hawai’i (hey…I gots to be proud Kanaka Maoli…deal with it) also means that we are the ones who make sure to it that people see our greatness, that it is better than their greatness, and that since we come from royalty, it is our job to make other people feel like they are beneath us.

No, again…I am not pointing fingers at anyone. If you feel like I am doing this, it is not me who needs to check herself…seriously.  I am showing the world through these words that it is up to all of us to Spread Aloha and that it is our duty as Hawai’ian people to NOT make others, namely those outside of our ethnic boundaries, feel like they are not worthy of the Breath of Life. It is our duty to support one another, not only as Hawai’ians, but also as humans who have been placed here for the purpose of showing our Love for the rest of the world in the manner that we have each been taught.

We have each been taught many things, but the most important thing we have all within us is the undying Breath of Life, the Ha which is so important to the perpetuation of our very selves, not through the birthing of new and literal life, but through the birthing of our very selves as sentient whole beings and beings of and in the light of Healing for the world to know and have and see and yes, of course, to Be, alongside us guys in the energy that is the breath of Life that we all have the duty to Spirit to gift to others.

Aloha is the very Breath of Life within all humans. We have spent so much time collectively seeing only what is not the same between us that we have not given any thought to what is the same, and what is the same is that we all need to be part of something bigger than we are. The truth is that we all need to have the Love, the Aloha, that we give to others given back to us in some manner. The truth is that we are meant to Love, not only those who are within the confines of our Soul Tribe Families, but also to the grandeur that is the entirety of our race…the Human Race.

Aloha is not about where you came from, where you were geographically born, has nothing to do with anything more than the realness that is Love of the Agape sort, and the sort which gives life and offers love on the Spiritual climes of Life.

Without Aloha, we cannot breathe.

So please go out into your own private, personal worlds and #LiveALOHA!

I Love You All!

ROX

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MALAMA = CARE FOR

Every one of us on this planet has a group of people who we think of as family, and not all of those people are related by blood to us. It is for those people in my life who are this family for whom this is written…

***

I must give props to the people in my life, who, for a long time now, and they all know who they are, have been the family which I did not come from, but are the very family which I embrace and refuse to let go of. We all have these people in our lives, and to each of those who share my life with me, I want you all to know that I absolutely would be terribly miserable without you.

Without you, I have no shoulders to lean on, no ears to bounce my crazy ideas into and off of, and without you, really, while I have relatives, and I love them a whole lot, too, my world is colored by the love I give and receive to the people who I call “My Tribe.” I have been gifted with this very special set of people, the one made up of the misfits like myself, and the one filled with the creative souls who, at one time, seemed to also be looking for a place to belong, and many of you, as have I, found a place within me, much as I have within you, that is Home to You, Home to Me…Home to Us.

Without the presence of you all in my life, I would not know what it is, really, and this is nothing against my blood relations, I would never know the truth that is Family. I love my cousins, and they, too, are part of this Family which has been assembled through the grace that is the Mother Goddess, knowing what is best for her kids, and knowing, too, that even though sometimes, we feel orphaned by our blood, it is in the life giving nature that is the depth of watery emotion which spawns from the love between friends who end up being our family and sometimes, that family is closer to us than is our blood. I know this. I live this. This is my tribe, my family, the ones who might not look like me, but the ones who know me so very well.

I wanted to make this post be one that tells you all that no matter what, I thank you, all, for showing the Aloha to me, when I raged, when I cried, when it was that it seemed that I might need, once again, to be peeled from the ceiling. I want you all to know that without your presence in my life, that I have no life outside of my children. Without you all being there for me, watching me trip and fall, watching me do all of the things that I do, and never once shaking your heads or thinking that maybe, I might not be all there, I thank you. I thank you for allowing me to still be your “weird little friend,” and I thank you for never forgetting that above all else, we are there for one another, that we Malama what we, together, have built to become a great big, connected-by-the-soul, Tribal Soul Family. I cannot thank you enough.

Really…I Love You All…and you know it is the truth of me.

Malama means “care for.”

To the rest of my readers, know now the very difference of what family is, and what family is not. I will not lie to anyone and tell a soul that I am without love for my blood relations, and in that set of people who I thanked in the above paragraph are indeed people who I am related to. When you think about everyone in your lives, and you wonder why it is that some people are closer than are your blood relatives to you, and you wonder why it is that sometimes, you would rather not be with your blood and prefer to be in the water that is your group of friends, this is what is called “Malama” in action, because you would not feel like you do about those people or that group of friends unless you all were not exacting the Malama…or rather…the “ho’omalama” (to care for) energy within that group.

My Tribe…they know that I love them, each and every one of them, and some of them are not here in this state, and some of them have gone on to the other side of the Veil of Consciousness…yet, that doesn’t matter, because even those people still visit me…it is all Love, the tribes that we create, with people who are like us, even though their blood and your blood do not contain the same DNA, even though you do not technically share a grandmother, even though you are not blood related at all. That doesn’t matter. For some of us there is no other family, because the ones that we come from simply are not our kind of people, and that doesn’t matter either, because in our actual blood families there is a link that keeps us bound together, no matter what. Yet, the bond that is alive and well within your own Soul Tribe is never-ending and completes us each. Mine completes me. Without them, I will not say that I am nothing, but my life would be void of the color that is Ohana, that is Aloha, that is my Family…the very one filled with eccentrics like myself.

This same thing can be found in your Soul Tribe…and within the confines of your Soul Tribe there are things there that are common between you, that sometimes, there is no commonality between blood relations, and this is the reason that Spirit provides us with people who we Love, who we Love to be around, and who treat us with honor, respect, care, and of course, their own Aloha Soul.

You will know your Tribe, because you are one of them, and this will be the most obvious thing that tells you that you belong somewhere, with others like you, and with others who have the same thoughts about everything that you do. You will know who they are simply because they smile at you and laugh at your ridiculous jokes, try to prank you and tell other people the silly things you do when you have had too much tequila. These are the people who you know the best, who know you the best, who never ask you anything other than that if you are okay. These are the ones for whom you would die and who you know would also do the same for you, are the very ones, who, regardless of who you bring into the inner circle, who you bring to the Tribe, will be there, no matter what.

These are the people who care about you the most, are the people who know more secrets about you than maybe your own mother or siblings might, and are the people who you share more memories with than you might your own brother or sister. These are the people who were sent to you, literally on the wings of Angels, and the ones with whom you can share you heartaches, as well as your joys, and are the people who make it possible that even on your worst days, there is always something to look forward, no matter how far in the future, because these are the people who cannot see anything in their own lives without you somehow as part of it. Yes, you…wonderful you who didn’t realize that even though you might feel all alone in this lifetime, there are your people…there is your Soul Tribe.

You were born, not only with a certain and specific purpose, but your mission in life is tied to and with these people who are your Tribe. They are there to help you with this, like you are there and for them to help them with this, and while it is that you are all heading toward this same, singular destiny and mission, you are, they are, we all are granted the Love and the Joy that is the Familial vibe that is between you and them, and them and you, and it is a beautiful thing indeed.

Be grateful everyday for these people. Be grateful for the memories that you make, and be grateful for the Love that is common among you. Be grateful for the similarities, and be more grateful for the things which make you the you who you are in that group called your Soul Tribe. Without you, they are not them, and without them, you are not you. Without these people you don’t know how important you are, and they don’t know how important they are.

Without one another, while we might each and all have a blood family that we love, there is nothing quite as beautiful as the Family made of the quilt of your friends and is the Soul Tribe we each call our own. I wake up daily very grateful for my Soul Tribe. Within the mix there are artists and musicians, are scholars and writers, are humans who have chosen, again, by the very grace of the Goddess, to call me one of their own.

I wouldn’t have it any other way….you all know who you are….thank you, all of you, for just being my Soul Tribe…I Promise to Malama you as much as you Malama me…Aloha Kakou!!

You know it… I Love You…All of You !!! Mahalo Nui Loa

ROX

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A Larger Awareness

The thing that none of us thinks about when we are forced by Spirit to walk through the proverbial fires in life is that our Awareness is made bigger and we are served with Spiritual gifts and the sharpening of them through that very flame.

*****

It is not about who has gone through more than whoever else. Life is not meant to only be sunshine and roses, but more a collection of experiences meant to teach us who we are in this lifetime.  Who we are in this lifetime is what we are supposed to find out. How we get there is not ever readily available for us to know, as who we are is meant to be created. We cannot depend on the opinions of others to create for us the people who we are intended to be. Other people are meant to help us get there, to teach us who we are not, and to remind us that we are not alone on our Path.

Yet, it is not always going to be a human teacher.  Our Aumakua (Guides) come to us in many forms, and lately, that form has been through avian creatures, specifically birds. Lots of us have had encounters with our feathered friends this week, and also with those same friends who bear 6 or 8 legs. None the less, more and more of us have become aware to the idea that somehow, that we see these creatures all the time is one thing, but that we have each seen them and that each time that we had seen them, it was our Souls that took notice.

It came to me, personally, in the form of these creatures, in regards to a loss of energy that was great in terms of weightiness, in terms of things that have no clear explanation other than that it was just meant to be and was meant to be because it is simply a part of the Path which we each travel, on our own, but totally not by ourselves. When I thought about the sheer depth of the loss, I also thought about what, in those same terms, I’d also lost. It used to be sad to me that I never really knew my mother’s father better than I had, but given the things that I’d known about this person, the one thing that always stood out the most to me was his gift for music. Yes, he was also a magnificent golfer, but that is not a gift that is quite the same for me in the way that the ability to create beautiful tones which become music, literally, to the ears, is something that, as someone who still loves to dance hula, is needed by all of us, but in particular, dancers.

Realize that the loss suffered was not mine, even as to this very moment, I can literally feel that loss as though it were my very own.  In that loss, though, I could also sense the loss that I had not realized was mine, which was my own Tutu Papa, a man most people only knew as “Uncle Bill.” While I did not know this man as well as I perhaps should have, what I did know of him was his music. The thing that used to make me sad was the idea that, as a Kumu Hula, my grandfather and I never had the chance to even connect on that level, because when he passed away, I was not yet the teacher, neither haumana…I was simply just a dancer who was in love with both the dance, and more, the music which accompanied it.

While several others were granted the sight of the birds, it was their song which captured me, much more than did just the sight of them. I could hear them singing like I had never in the past, and I could sense their happiness, their joy, and for a moment, given the actual thing that came to pass not too very long ago at all, I could also sense, not just the presence of the recent loss, but more, my Tutu Papa’s presence in the music that was nature. It was in this …thing…that seems to me to still be a bit of a mystery, the thing that happened in another’s life, that my own awareness of just exactly how connected we all really are to one another.

As perplexing as it may seem, and perhaps there may one or more of you who will not “get it” in terms of sensing another’s grief personally, it is not the why, neither the how, or anything “human being” that we must understand outside of the human reaction to our losses, because in those losses are the golden pieces of the puzzle which never is completed. In the hugeness of the energy that was of loss, there was also a brand new Awareness which, if we have paid attention, have bothered to want to see what other people might not want to see, has grown, and not only grown, but has grown exponentially.

How my Grandfather told me he cares still

I make no secret of it that I was lucky enough to be incarnated into this lifetime surrounded by and loved by many talented musical people. On both sides of my family I am blessed with people who can play an instrument, who can sing, and who can bring intangible gifts to all of us.  I have always loved music, always been drawn toward those who are creatively gifted in a musical sense, because I have also always known that music is the thing that any dancer needs.  I have always danced. Anyone and everyone who knows me knows this about me. I have always loved to dance, for fun, and of course, professionally, any dance style that I can replicate and make my own, with the one that I have Loved the very most since I was a tiny little girl of three years old, which is Hula.

Hula was, is, will never not be the music which is my own Soul’s musical talent. Without Hula in my life, I am not sure that I would be who I am now, really, because Hula has always been the way that my own people have communicated with their gods and is the way that I communicate, even now, with those very same gods, with my own ‘Aumakua (yes, even my Tutu Papa) and of course, when there is an audience, the rest of my own world, right at that moment. What these last two weeks have brought to my Awareness is that, if we pay attention to the things that stand out to us the most, in those things and in those thoughts which come from Awareness of those things, we find out that we are still in the company of the ‘Aumakua and of the people who are no longer physically with us in this consciousness.

While I will not state  what loss was suffered, I will state that what is not yet realized by any one of the people who do know, is the Awareness which was created that has not yet been discovered in the manner which I am positive it will be seen by those who know what I am saying here. The reason that I know this is simple, and was contained in a birthday gift to my only daughter, who is named Grace, but in this instance, I will refer to her as “My Maile.” “Maile,” pronounced “My Lei,” asked for an ukulele. Maile has always wanted to play a stringed instrument. She has always been, just like her mother has always been, somewhat in love with music, even preferring what is counted as her own version in her own generation’s version of metal music.

Maile has always had a very real closeness with my younger cousin, Drew, who is a professional musician with the indie metal band, “Black Oil.” She loves “Uncle Drewcifer,” and sometimes, they jokingly call each other “Uncle Drewcifer and Gracifer.” Yes, I know…some of you reading this are tsk-tsking me, and that is fine. Those are just terms of endearment between the two of them. She has always loved him, like I loved with all the “little cousin” energy that I can, another man from the same family which Drew hails from, whose name is Jimmy and is the eldest of those cousins of mine from that ohana. My Maile, like I was with Jimmy, was drawn to Drew because of the sameness of sibling like energy. I won’t say that it is because of Drew that she so loves live metal music shows, loves to mosh (even though she comes home looking like she has been moshing…much like her mother used to back in the ’80’s…yup…hi, Heidi…haha…’aye mijo’…bwaahahahahaha), loves everything that rocks a person to the very core of their Soul.

Maile, like me, loves music, loves being with her musical pals as much as I truly love and adore what limited time I have with mine. (Hi guys! I Miss you all…I Love You All !) Maile, like me, started learning Hula at the same age that I did – 3 years old – but did not “catch” me dancing like I caught my mother. I actually showed her how, then when the time came and I started Hula i Lalo Ka La (“Dance Beneath the Sun”), she knew what her little friends did not and was a willing participant in teaching them what she knew.

While I grew and continue to grow this Love which is contained within me that is the very essence of my Soul – Hula – my own daughter’s Love is for the creation of the music, all kinds of music, not that a dancer dances to, but that a musician plays. Just as I was very interested in the “count of 8” in more modern styles of dance, versus what is the “count of 4,” in Hula, my Maile is very interested not only in playing, but in also being able to read, to understand, and yes, eventually create her own music. While I will not lie – a little piece of my Soul aches for my baby girl to want to dance Hula again, there is a huge piece of me that is jumping up and down, “metal horns” WAY UP, for my girl, the one with holes in her lips, an attitude and of course, a Soul comprised of that one thing every kid, no matter their ethnic origins, is born with.

That One Thing is the Soul which is Aloha.

The way that my own Awareness was made wider these last two weeks was contained within what were the losses, because in those losses and according to what is my own experience with those and the ones which preceded it, not only showed up in the songs which were the birds, the flight path they chose, the fact that the wind did what it does when my Nana is saying something to me, the idea that upon the thought of certain thoughts and energies, certain creatures show up in our awareness to remind us that we are so not alone, that those who have passed onto the other side are still very much here with us, still walking beside us and letting us know so in many different ways.

In my case, it was the little black ukulele that my Maile got for her birthday, was the breeze wafting over my head and which carried hummingbirds toward me, hummingbirds who have always reminded me of my grandmother, Katherine, and who daily give me a reason to know that when others pass, they are not gone, because their Love for us never goes away, just like ours for them also does not.

We all dearly need to take into our own selves the signs which are given and which are for us alone. Once we can believe that that which seems to be coincidental is not so coincidental after all, and that sometimes, our Loved Ones who have crossed over in the physical sense, in their Soul form, are still with us, our Awareness of things gets wider. Just because they have changed form, it does not mean that they have changed themselves in any other manner. They simply have become the evolved form of the Love which they, themselves, are…which really, we all are.

Whenever I hear my friend, Owana Salazar, singing in her beautiful tones, whenever I hear any of the Pahinui ohana’s music, and yes, whenever it is on the breeze which is gentle like the strumming of slack key guitar, whenever it is that I hear the singing of the birds who visit my Awareness, I am reminded that they do not leave us…they just evolve. I am reminded that my Nana sings to me still, that my Tutu Papa is still playing beautiful music, and is doing so through means that, without a greater heightened sense of Awareness, I might not know or even have an inclination toward this idea that yes, indeed, they are still very much with me, with all of us.

Without a heightened sense of Awareness brought to us by the big giant personal losses we each have had to endure, none of us would know that the answers are contained there within our personal Awareness.

I Love You All…

ROX

1MANA_O_BLOG Drunken Hula Meme

Hey…a girl’s gotta have SOME fun, sometimes, right? Haha…actually, I try to have fun as much as I can, but when it involves Hula? It is SO on!

If you would like to know what this particular picture is all about…send  an email to reverendroxie22@gmail.com


Full-Circle

We all know that when one circle is completed, that another has been fully ignited…

I see that I am not the only one for whom many circles have been made full over the last six months. We all have been waiting, and for the very life of us we know not what to do with this part of the winding down of certain things and of certain ways of being.

There is a whole lot of hopelessness at the moment. There are marriages ending, and there are people losing jobs, and hope, and what no one seems to think about (that is, unless you are somewhat the same way that any Professional Weirdo would be) is the fact that once one circle is made full, already underway is the starting of the closure of more than only that one circle. We humans like to think or believe that we have control of everything, but really, we don’t. We have less control over things than we care to accept.

Once we can accept things as they are, we begin to notice our own patterns, and when we can sense and notice our own patterns we can also sense when these circular endings and beginnings happen. I will not elaborate on too much of my very own recent circular endings, but I will say that after the past six years of my feeling like I have nothing and have nothing to give, I find myself very incorrect in that idea, because within that idea, as coupled as it is with the other idea that we have to also lean on our egotistical selves for our answers as well as our Soul Selves, in that idea are the seeds and the clues of what is next to become a part of our lives. At this point in our human lives, and after all of the nastiness that we each and all have been through to this point, we should be well equipped with all of the things that we need in our lives to handle it all.

There are a lot of us who are prepared, and many more who are not. Those of us who are not will find it very difficult to take me for my word on this when I say, to anyone, that the best is yet to be. If we are patient, we will know this, all the way down to the very Bones of our Souls.

The things in our lives that have left us feeling naked and open

We feel like we are all on stage somehow. Some of us are used to it, but too many of us are not, and we are in the spotlight via our own behest of it. We are seeing the things within us that we are not very proud of knowing about ourselves, but I must remind you all that whether or not you realize it as the truth, what you are seeing in front of you are either the remnants of what was and is no longer needed by you, or are the beginnings of a few things that you, yourselves, have asked Spirit for, and here they are…the fun part is that unlike any other time in our lives, whether we think it is the truth or not, they are ours and we created them and hell yes – even though a lot of us are not ready for the bigness of things to come, they are just about here.

It is because, for the most part and for the most of us, we have been readying ourselves now for about two decades. In that time we have evolved into the people who we are right now. If you think back twenty years you will understand one thing – you may not be that same person, but you have those same inclinations, and all of it is about Love of the Self and of the Soul within. For that long now, we have all burned, have all hurt, have all been proverbially gnashing our teeth because for that long, we have been learning and gearing ourselves to this point.

Up to this point, things seem as though they are really a mess

Things are this way and with good reason – because collectively we are not all on the same page and need to be. There are always going to be people who just refuse to wake up, refuse to see what it is that those among us who are dearly enlightened to the evolving of all of mankind on a global level. They are scared. They like the way things are, even though as they are right now, things kinda suck for a whole lot of people.

If it were that I believed that things were always meant to suck, that we are all bad people and we all deserve this garbage that we are all going through right now in some manner, I might not also be able to sit here believing that I am right when I say that if we looked at all of our lives, and thought about them in the singular sense, and thought, too, that the reason we are going through whatever it is that any one of us is experiencing, we would KNOW that it is all meant to be.

Yes.

Meant.

To Be, even.

My initial thought is that we have, for so long and throughout the recorded history of mankind, just accepted the idea that there are people who tell us what to do, and that there are people who are told what to do and that the majority of us are really very tired of pulling a heavy wagon that is not ours alone.  I am also thinking that it is about time that we each and all chose to be who we are, because, as I state, over and over again, who we are does not really change, at least at our core.

My greatest example is that I am always going to be me, but that over the years, I went from being the me who got me to this point in time to being who I am now, and that as time moves on, I will still evolve, while the core of me will always be a Pisces whose feet are firmly planted in the idea that I will never not be who I am. This is the same for all of us. Even though I will never not be who I am, how I feel is always subject to change to accommodate the conditions.

This is the same for anyone, everyone, really, and it is without reason that we should be fighting who we are. It is without reason that I should care more than I do about anyone who was bad to me throughout my life. The human being part of me wants them all to hurt like I did, but the healer tells me that my job and my lot in life is to be and to show compassion to every person and to impart to them the measure of Love that is the unconditional sort.

We do not get to choose who will come into our lives or when they will show up. Every person who graces us with their presence and we ,them with ours, is yet one more chance to get the point across to one more human being that there is a lot happening right now in the cosmos. We all know the drill – as above, so below. It makes me wonder why it is, sometimes, that if there is all this unrest and dissatisfaction with one another, why then are we still bothering with trying to save someone else when there is so much within each of our selves that needs to be seen to, healed, forgiven and let go of?

I’ll tell you why – it is because for centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that the most wonderful thing is to sacrifice, everything, even and all the way down to who we are. No one ever thinks that, no matter what – no  matter what your pastor says, no matter what your parents told you as a kid, no matter WHAT – you can never ever change the core of you or of who you really are, so why is it that so many of us are still trying to cram our circular selves into these societal square holes?

Societal Square Holes

From a time long before a whole lot of us were on this planet, it was the prevailing thought within the psyche of mankind that people are unruly, because people can reason, meaning that people can make choices. The ancient politicians had no means by which to keep their minions under control. Knowing this much gave them the edge they needed in order to create mass population control, through means of spiritual and religious manipulation and fear.

And yes, I am going to sound VERY judgmental, and it is not usually the way that I roll, but I must, at least this time, when I say that having grown up in a Hell fire and brimstone family that was “guided” by the God of fear and the very same God which seems to not be very loving at all. I grew up with these sorts of parents, the sort who, Goddess bless them both, and as much as I do very dearly Love them, remain, to this day, afraid of what the God they kneel to and practically beg everything from will do to them AFTER they are gone from this lifetime. Why would anyone want to believe in a deity who would turn them essentially into slaves? Why would anyone want to ‘worship’ a god that will turn you out into the hot coldness of this lake of fire I was raised to fear so dearly?

Because. Just like anything else, when fear is the tool used in order to guarantee complete control over anyone at all, it is what will rule your life. 

Fear cripples and stifles us

Humans…we fear a whole, whole lot of things, and most of the time it is not really an actual fear of things as much as it is a paranoia about things like whatever it is that we are afraid of being exactly what we want them to be, good or bad.

Fear, though most of the time it keeps us safe, it also cripples us. It makes us mistrustful of ourselves, and this mistrust causes us to mistrust everyone else and everything else, too. By mistrust, I do not mean that you cannot trust, materially, what others give to you, but instead is a mistrust in ourselves. Whatever it is that we feel about ourselves is what we will give out as the energy we have to give to other people. If we convey that we trust everyone, though, we get taken advantage of, dearly. The only way to counteract those things is to learn from them by going through what we have to go through. 

I HATE rejection, a whole lot, but I can deal with it, because I have been given a whole lot of it throughout the course of my almost 44 years.  I find, really, that a whole lot of people who do not like being rejected for any reason also are the very ones who employ tactics of rejection toward others, and also that these very same people who do like like rejection but feel privy to give it do give it in heaping amounts in the most ugly possible way that they can humanly think to.

Let me tell you something, folks – whatever, no matter WHAT it is, that you employ toward the giving of understanding of you to other people and that which hurts them, you will also experience those very same things, same emotions, same feelings of rejection and hurt. And you who are like this – you demand to know why it is that you feel the way you do. It is because you proverbially want your cake and eat it, too, but you want everyone else to feel like the kid at their own birthday party who is made to wait and to be the last one to get their piece…you know, when it essentially becomes a big messy bunch of melted goop that no one – not even a fat kid who loves cake – wants to eat . We expect people to accept us as we are, but we expect them to be their highest, finest selves where we are concerned (and ONLY we are concerned). We want Love and we want to feel secure in the idea that others Love us, but we, ourselves, want to continue being the Overlords of DoucheLand as much as we can muster being…all to avoid rejection by people who, we, ourselves, judged harshly enough to repel them.

For the life of us, we seem to not want to hurt, but we also do not pay attention to the patterns that create the circles of our lives so that we can know when it is that we might have to hurt (Yes, have to). It is these circular patterns which bring us back to where we need to be, not perfect, but as good as we need to be at the time that we need to be who we are at that moment. We cannot be the perfect picture nor model of perfection – our lives would be dull if we were all perfect. Imperfection allows us to be able to see ourselves in others, to notice how we are very much alike, even as we are each as unique as are the fingerprints we each have that belong only and exclusively to us.

We share our lives with people who are like us, and with those people we see our own selves as we pertain to them. Whoever they think we are in our lives is none of our business to try to change their minds about. Our business is merely to go on about learning who we are through the mechanism of Spirit called “Other People.” Sometimes what we see there will mirror exactly who we are, and in that moment we find that we are the epitome of imperfect perfection, which is as it should be.

You are at this moment in your own history because you wanted to be here and you wanted to have all of these things in your life, both good and yes, bad, as well.  You are here and now because you, on your own, without knowing so, created this moment, probably long before you realized that what you wanted when you wanted it that would not be exactly what you thought you wanted when you first wanted it, and here you are, in the now, and that which you wanted is upon you.

My only question is, no matter what you think of this moment and whether that opinion is good or bad…

You brought this moment to yourself.

Now, what are you going to do with it?

Hahahaa…yep…there I go again…making you think. 

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

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