Monthly Archives: June 2016



We all have the right to do and be lots of things, but the thing that we have the duty to be, most of all, is Strong.

I was compelled just now, by someone close to me, to write another blog for this particular blog this week. The person’s words struck me as unbelievable, because I have not been very strong for some time, or at least I do not feel like I have been.

Apparently,and according to this person who told me this a bit over an hour ago, I am the strongest person alive on the planet right this moment. I guess I have to be, because always it is the mask that I wear, and wear without thinking that I am wearing it. Lots of things in my life, at all times, because of the nature of my work in this world, calls, always, for me to be strong. Yet, there are always going to be those times when even when I think I am being strong, I am being anything but that. One of those times is right this moment, and no, I am not writing this because the person who told me this needs to be told they are wrong. I am writing this because I am compelled by the intense and incredible amount of pain that it seems the collective of human beings on the planet or at least in our personal awareness (that place called our “individual worlds”), are in serious turmoil.

Myself, dearly included…

I am trying very hard to not fall apart, but, part of me knows that things like what has happened, only happen, NOT because there is a reason that does not make sense – but for purposes of learning.

When we are learning, it means that no matter what we do, we are going to toil and toil because when we are learning, it means that there is something that we do not know completely about. Sometimes we learn things that we cannot wrap our heads around. What I have learned at this moment is that my time for the hard lessons have again, started, as though I needed more of them to help me complete this, the thing that I refer to as being my “Ethereal PhD.” Unlike the other one which I am striving toward (although I WILL be happy just being able to teach at the college level…keep reading…), this one is a LOT more hard to get through, because the lessons and the learning come through the thing that we all have in common, at all times – that thing called “Life.” The lesson for me is the loss of being able to do this dance that I love so very much. I love Hula. Unfortunately, for me, at this moment, and perhaps even for some time to come, hula is not mine, at all.

I am learning…and I am not even trying, and that is the hard part of learning anything – most of the time, unless we are game for it, we do not want to learn a thing. We want our lives to be magical, and they typically end up that way once we have decided that the lesson is not as bad as going on with things as they were in the past, where all of our pain lives, and there is no way out of that pain without our learning about why we were in pain. We want them to be that way in the manner that we envision them, our lives. It is fine, even a good thing that we envision them. In fact, we are supposed to, but, we are also supposed to leave open room for us to be able to have what is exactly what we see, or better. The way that we stop the flow of this energy is by refusing to look at things and see them exactly as they are. Whether they are good or bad is up to whoever is looking at it all.

We cannot have anything better if we are not open to the FACT that in order for the better to happen for us, we have to leave that which hurt us so deeply behind. Some of us cannot help but hang on to the things that are back there, in the past, and a lot of the time, what is back there is not that great, and if it is that great, no matter how badly we want to go back there, we can’t. It’s that thing called evolving.

That Thing Called Evolving

To evolve is what we are here to do, no matter how much it hurts us, we must.

If we do not, we are not ever going to know what is ahead of us. We will never know what is in front of us if we are more concerned with what was going on or more along the lines of thinking that we are supposed to still be who we were a long time ago (nope). If I sat in the reality that was mine from 2010 to 2012, I might not be writing this right now. In fact, I might be dead, given all of the horrid things that I did to myself, all so that I would not have to go through the pain that I was experiencing in my life. None of that pain was physical, at least not immediately, and all of that pain brought to me the things that I needed to learn about myself that were things that were not that great.

What I learned about me in that time is that I have to…HAVE TO forgive myself for all of the things that I did not know about but begrudgingly still ended up experiencing, and all of the things that were in store for me that I could not see past right this moment to save my life with….what I ultimately learned is that no matter what we want to do, no matter who we think we are, to anyone at all, but namely to ourselves, is the person who we see, at all times, in our mind’s eyes. The thing about that though is that we have to do the work to get there, good or other than good, to be that person, and lots of us, even me sometimes, do NOT want to do the work.

I harp on doing the work part the most, with anyone at all, because it is that work part of all of this evolution going on that the majority of us does NOT want to have to do. We can see all we want to be, to ourselves, and to anyone else at all, but, what we are not prepared to see is the in between time of it all, the time that it takes for us to wear the changes, changes that we called in to our awareness, and changes that, regardless if we feel like they are needed, regardless of how much it hurts us to go through it all (hey…changing at the soul level is a bitch…I Promise…but, once those changes have occurred, and whether we like to believe it or not – those changes are permanent…because they are the very changes that we have each and all called into being and into our awareness….yup…please keep reading…) are what we have to go through.

This is the Truth – for any one of us to experience any sort of change from the inside, out, we have to be willing to look at all of the ugly things that give us a reason to fear anything, and we have to be willing to accept that this is the thing that is visiting our lives right now for the very and only sole purpose of perpetuating the growth that we, ourselves, have called to our lives. We have to be able to face ourselves, even and especially at all the things that we do not want to look at. It is all there for a reason, with that reason being that the things that present themselves as they will and in the ugly fashion that they typically do are meant to make us see that those very things, even as we may well love them all, are actually hurting us. The things that we state are hurting us are too easy, and sometimes those things are the very things that we know deep within our selves are the things that we most need for our lives and our souls.Ultimately, we figure out that it was never another person who has brought the pain, but our willingness to go through it, hoping we can change anything at all.

The reality is that we cannot change another person. This is the hurt that makes us keep hurting – the thing that eats us…it is the idea that we cannot make other people see who they are for real, because maybe they cannot accept their own goodness, because all of the bad things that they have been, over time, taking in and believing.

Ain’t it a bitch? We want someone – ANYONE – to see our brilliance, and then once they see it, we want to deny it is there. You cannot imagine the pain brought alone by that…this is the thing that a LOT of people take for granted…that maybe those who are telling us that we are every bit as good as we are, we are allowing what the shitty people in our lives, in our past, in our now, to be the presiding thing about us each…what the hell is wrong with us?

I cannot state that I do not freak out the moment my own uglies come creeping up on me, and my own uglies are those things that scare the hell out of me, to the point, at times, of spiritual, emotional and from time to time, specifically in my legs and feet (it’s a Pisces thing) paralyzed. When I am in this mode, I know that my brain has taken over, forgivingly so, and that my brain is telling the rest of me that it is time to just simply put down all of the ugly things that scare me, or more, that I have convinced myself will still end up being the only reality that I will ever know. Since I began this time around at school, I have learned a whole lot about how it is that we allow ourselves to believe the very worst things about us, and we choose to grasp on to the horrid things that others have brought to us, and some of us refuse to see the good that is there, all because we are prone, as humans being human, to want to fight, or run away, or simply just freeze in our tracks, all so that we will not have to experience the pain that we know will surely be ours.

The thing that no one thinks about is the one thing that I have to remind myself of almost everyday – that everything that sucks, even though everything that has sucked has sucked for a very long set of years by this time is temporary. I cannot stress this much enough. I get a lot…a WHOLE LOT of emails, almost daily, asking me if I know when these ugly times will be over, or more, that a lot of people right this moment in time are very dearly angry at the way their hard work has seemed to be the thing that they are wanting to have the tangible reality for, and this is the most understandable thing in the world to me, right in this moment, because of everything that I have experienced in my life to this point from the day after Christmas, 2015. I was told, by many many “experts” in many several different fields of weirdness, that all of this madness would be over with by June.

It is June, and not only is the madness not over with, but because it has lasted this long thus far, it is hard to see anything other than that which we do not have, and it is causing a collectively felt paralysis of the Soul on a global scale.

Paralysis of The Soul

Our is a collective that seems to like being…numbed…or perhaps at least paralyzed to change.

We are told by well meaning people, typically when we are younger, and most of the time through the actions of others,  that things are supposed to go one way and we glue ourselves to that one way.We believe that those who came before us are the ones who had ALL the answers, only to be led down the path to what THEY wanted, instead of what WE have pined for all of our lives. This is the sickness that is global, the very one which was spawned by organized religion, and the one that keeps the masses in control while the rest of the world seeks out its own higher knowledge through means of other peoples’ “for sale” Wisdom. When we choose to sell that which was so freely ours at birth is when all of these things that are meant for our free use so that what we do in this lifetime and is connected to the rest of the planet, will end up ultimately at the pinnacle of what it was that we envisioned but, due to all of the crazy crap going on at this moment and in the global fashion, we are unable to see it all the way that it is not. The only thing that we are seeing right now is how much all of us hurts, badly, and are pining for the way things were.

The way things were is not how they are supposed to be now, now when what is the most crucial thing we are learning is NOT what to do with all of this…shit…we have been handed, but, what we are NOT going to do in terms of what our ego-selves wants us to do, in order that we will survive anything at all. We do not realize what all we are made of until a crisis strikes. It is at that time that we are being our truest selves, because it is at that time that we are not wearing the mask of who we were – we are, in that moment, essentially our true selves. Our true selves will always surface, and we are lucky if others, even if it is only a few others, even only one other, is there to make sure that through it all, we realize that truly, even though things sucked and still suck, we were not ever alone. Somehow, Spirit makes it so that there is at least one person on this planet who gets it, who is patient enough, loving enough, with an open mind and spirit enough, to help make sense of things. When it is that things cannot be made sense of, it is time to look at everything that we have been presented with and ask ourselves what it is that we are learning.

What we are learning is not what we thought we were being taught. Understand now that there is a huge difference between learning and being taught. To learn is a willingness to take in whatever it is that we are given as a lesson. What a LOT of people do not get, in terms of lessons like these ones we are all learning from right now, is that it is easier to learn, because we are given that option to see things as being a learning opportunity, so that we can find the treasures that are buried in the thing that we see only as being the excrement of our lives….than it is to be taught, because being taught means that we are trying hard to not be told what to do, even though Spirit and the world of Spirit does not work that way. Even in our death we are able to feel the way that we did when we hurt in the physical, but, when we are not in our bodies, we are also not able to make the choice to not come back into this lifetime to correct what it is that we did not learn through learning what it is that we resisted.

When we resist, the things that haunt us persist. We are all told, for instance, about this thing called an American Dream and how it is that this particular dream is meant for us all. It isn’t. We do not all dream the same dreams or think the same things, even though we are privy to everything we want, if we are willing to do the work involved, and work that is solely and only for our benefit and brought to us through the challenges that we face in our waking lives. is like this thing called an American Dream.

We are told that there is such a thing, and because there is such a thing, we are also all told to chase it. Then the chase ensues, and we are on our way to this thing that we have in our heads that is “ours” or we think it is ours and what happens after the fact is a whole lot of disappointment, and a whole lot of beating the shit out of ourselves, and a whole lot of things happening in the manner that no one could have predicted. (By the way – no one psychic can tell the future, and really, the only thing that anyone like me CAN predict is that there is a propensity towards anything. NO ONE IS 100%…do NOT let anyone lie to you like they know, because they likely don’t know)

No matter what anyone wants to believe, the paralysis in the soul is the thing that causes us to no longer be who we are for real. The paralysis makes things seem a lot uglier than they are, makes us feel it all a LOT deeper than it all really is. Whether I want to believe things are the way that they are and are NOT meant to make things be worse is one thing and is one thing because that one thing MATTERS more than anyone thinks it does.

That one thing is the thing that seems to be eating our lives, and that one thing is the thing that we need to tend to, but it is not the thing that is there that we want to blame it all on. This is our problem as humans – we are not able to see ourselves as being the thing that makes a situation much worse. We are only able to see ourselves as trying to only be the one who makes everything better, the one who everyone will call a “hero” or a “savior” and the one thing that makes us go totally against those things that we are trying to get others to believe but refuse to believe, ourselves. We think we have a grasp on things, but it is the grasp on things that needs to be less strangling than it is being the representative thing we think is helping us NOT to lose more than we have already lost.

Yep, I do know what it is like to have lost every tangible thing that I own, have experienced the idea that I cannot teach hula like I once used to and also that the time that was spent by me as a promoter and marketing agent have been over for a very long time, and the only thing that was left that I had to say goodbye to and that hurt me immensely was part of myself – and part of myself that held onto my hula like I did. I strangled it, made it go away and then when I went to go get it back, my knee decided that I did not need it at that time. Here it is months later and again…my knee…is swollen and ugly and making it hard for me to walk. BUT – I know that I have to walk on it, no matter how painful it is, that I have to use it or most assuredly I will lose it, even though I may have lost my hula, forever.

You can bet that I am upset, but, I have had to practice what it is that I am now learning, literally, in the halls of academia. I have to practice what it is that is so very vital to me, and I have to learn to allow myself to see my hula as something that it has never been for me – a spectator event, unless and until the lessons that I am learning which surround it change. I miss my dance, but I miss walking without pain more. The last time I checked, I need my legs to work properly so that I can get from point A to point B on the very hilly campus that I call school. I have to think what is more important, not only to me, but, ultimately to those who will seek my unique knowledge in terms of what is bothering them, way down deep in the soul, and what it is that they have the option to do about any of it.

We have the option to heal, and we have the option to believe our own selves when we know that there are people in our lives who are there to support us, to be with us, even if from a distance…and it is these people who mean the most to us, even when they piss us off. At this moment in time, I have been taught a lesson in the sanctity of who I am, and in that Divine energy, I find that truly, just as my Maestro has reminded me again and again, it is not my dance that the world wants more of….it is these things called words that are my Divine strength, and these things which live within the soul of us each that need to be expressed and need to be known so that the rest of us who choose NOT to hone their own intuitive skills can at least remember that things that suck are things that we have much to learn from.

The things that we need to learn from are usually things that we did not want to think could or would happen, are the things that we thought we might be able to escape but have found out that we cannot.

I cannot escape, nor deny, that hula, at this time, is an impossibility. I can blame no one but me – not that I injured my knee, but, that I chose to do more with it before it was completely healed than I should have. The injury was brought to me January 2, 2016, the moment that I slipped off of the back of that moving truck and onto my knee, very, very hard. At that moment, the only thing that was my thought was that I would not be able to dance, at least one more time, and that the last time I will dance will be the most important time of all….not only because it is set aside for one special person…

…but because it may well have just become that thing that I have to now see as my Swan song…

Learn well, humans….and know that everything that sucks is meant for us to learn..

…learn about who we are, not only to anyone else, but more than anyone else, to ourselves.





Allowed to Fly

The Mana'o Blog_ Like The Soul Released from its Cage

Every person on this planet has the duty to grow from the inside, out. When we have accepted what is before us, even though we might not like it, it is like we have been allowed to spread our wings and fly

The last year has been a bitch.

All of us has been through a whole lot, and even though it was all harsh, it was all there and in place and took place for all sorts of reasons, with the one most important reason being that when we are in the middle of growing our souls, and we are not aware that this is what is going on, we are more inclined to see the current things happening in our lives as being nothing more than one more thing that we did not need to happen for us.

Yes…for us

For us.

It rarely occurs to others that the throes of things that suck and have visited our lives and seem like they are taking forever to leave our lives has everything to do with the idea that as humans, we have been taught, as well as it is inborn, to hold onto things, even if they are not good for us or no longer hold any purpose for us – we hang on to things in our lives, even the bad things, because those things mean something to us.

They mean something to us for the one reason that no one tends to really and truly think about, and that one thing is that everything that gets in our faces, so to speak, and continues to get in our faces are in our faces because they are showing us something. Typically, what those things are showing us are things that we have not wanted to face, have not completely been able to wrap our heads around. All we can see, and all we can feel, and all that we can understand is that we are at a loss, even though, in many ways, our losses were instead the gains that we have no idea they are. What we are gaining is not just a better understanding of what it is that we have been through and why we have gone through it all, but more, so that we can see, through those things that are no longer there, the thing that has been left there.

We can call it a void, but that is such a negative way of saying that we are taught what we are taught the way that we need to learn it all – Spirit does not make mistakes, she only makes sure that the things we are meant to learn and that are pertinent to the things that we are here and purposed with imparting through our own life’s teachings, we learn. Not everyone is like I am – I LOVE to learn. As sick as it sounds, once it is that a certain harsh lesson has come to me and once it is that I have gone through that lesson, it is not unlike me to revisit, at least in my thoughts, the things that I went through, picking it all apart to find the diamond in the excrement, find the treasure in the proverbial dumpster behind the thrift store.

What learning through doing does for us

I say a whole lot about bravery and how it requires us to be afraid on some level. It is bravery that helps us make choices that otherwise, we would not. It is bravery that allows us to know what is the truth of any situation, and bravery that, within that situation, makes it so that we are more able to see the truth of ourselves. Bravery does NOT require any measure of bravado, because bravado is not the truth – bravado is simply bravado and bravado is the thing that has brought many strong nations to its knees. I am not talking about bravado.

I am talking about knowing that you are scared to death of something that is in the here in now, and knowing that if the choice to not be brave is not there yet, that nothing blocking our path will change, because we have chosen, at that time, to study why it is, through our own self reporting, by journaling or speaking to one’s own self and soul, that we know we are or are not ready, are or are not brave enough to face the demons which live within our own selves. Being brave is very different than wearing a mask of bravado. Bravado is part of the ego’s arsenal, while bravery is born in the Soul. Bravado is the thing that is needed when encountering others who are also wearing that same mask, but for no other reason than that on their part, they need their mask, because their mask hides their fear and their mask makes it easier for anyone at all to “be” brave in the face of anything dangerous to our ego-selves.

Bravery, though, is that thing in our souls that makes us check ourselves, makes us think before we do anything, and bravery is the only thing in this lifetime that makes us have to make a choice – the choice that is on many levels….as Shakespeare asks “To Be, or not To Be?” and in this case it also includes “To Do, or not To Do,” and “To Change, or not To Change…this is the question…” and is the question that we each have been asking ourselves for weeks now, in terms of what it is that we see ahead of us, that we know is there and that we know we will have to work towards having. In those decisions we find that we have already torn apart the answers and the part that we do not understand being why they are the answers. We find that we have been brave simply by choosing to acknowledge that certain shitty things are part of our lives at the present moment. We have acknowledged that there is a part of life right this moment that is daunting, that has the energy of the giant spider that resides in the closet of our memories and sticks like glue next to the monsters and dragons that are there, as well.

Spiders and Dragons and Monsters, oh my !

We all have fears, and some of those fears are produced by this thing that I have been told is called our “cellular knowledge.”

Cellular knowledge, loosely defined, is the thing that makes us have a fearful reaction, or a good reaction, and we do not know why we are having that particular reaction. Basically, this knowledge is housed in our cells, is knowledge, at least to my own understanding and in terms of how it was explained to me by my Auntie Kalei, and of course, Mama No, and then confirmed by my past class in biological psychology as well as my own private research of how the brain does what it does….cellular knowledge is knowledge that is inherited, at the cellular level, and points to our past, even anciently. What we are afraid of and what feels like it is primal and within us is an example of this thing called cellular knowledge.

Our cellular knowledge is where I have found, through researching it, the part of us that is terrified of things that are alive and well within our Twelfth house (astrologically, it is where all of our secrets, all of our fears, all of our karmic lessons “live.”), the part that our ego-self does not want the rest of the world to know exists within us. Many of us only can see it as a harsh challenge overcoming that which is housed within their twelfth houses, particularly if their natal sun (sun sign) is in the 12th house. This does not mean anything other than that these are the lessons which we are here to learn, and this is the karma that needs to be balanced, and now is the lifetime that you have the chance to overcome those fears and to ultimately squish the spiders which live in the closet of our minds.

Unfortunately, most folks don’t do the work, are not interested in changing things that ultimately will be for the betterment of their lives as they once knew it. Sure, the things that are there and are shitty and just do not feel okay are the very things that have come calling on the each of us to stand up and be brave, to look at it all and make sure that whatever it is that seems like it is eating us alive is really only pointing at the thing that we keep on not looking at and that we are terrified to deal with. I know this particular dragon very well. It is the very dragon that has haunted me, with the prodding of the monster that is sitting next to it, that is also pointing at the damned spider that I thought I squished.

What a lot of us are not thinking about is that most of the time, it is in the darkness that these ugly things come to us and scare the hell out of us. When we are children, we are left comforted by a tiny little thing called a night light. Lots of us have a memory of that very night light being the one thing that, in the darkness, only made us more afraid. On the top of things we knew that, because of our cellular knowledge, it is the shadow cast upon the wall in our bedroom that made those monsters and dragons and spiders look so big and scary. We knew they were not the reality, and even if they were, we knew that there was at least a shoe to take care of the spider. Yet, we chose always to stay beneath the covers, not having to look at the landscape that was our bedroom at night, not having to acknowledge that we were very scared of what the shadows on the walls showed us.

Then we got older, and taller, but that little kid who was terrified by those shadows still lives and is alive and well and afraid, dearly afraid, of the shadows that she sees there, ominous and glowering in the darkness and casting onto the walls in the hallways of our minds the evidence of our fears and what it is that keeps us from investigating and finding out the very truth of things.

The very truth of things is that sometimes, it takes a lot of harshness for us to finally want to address things that we have not wanted to, perhaps not for many, many lifetimes. The bottom line is that once it is that we have at the very least acknowledged that something needs our attention, it is at that very moment that we understand one very important thing…

Humans CAN fly….

Humans can fly. Maybe not in the sense that the owl in the photo does, but, none the less, we can and are able to stretch our spiritual wings, able to lift ourselves above any situation, if for nothing more than to just get the view of the truth as it really is at any given time. The truth is, by and large, and for the most part, very ugly. The truths that we love are born of the truths that we cannot bear to look at. The truth of me is that I am terrified of most people, for no other reason than that I have been given the instance, over and over again, of people who are dark in the soul, people who are under the influence of the shadow cast by the demons in the closets of their own existence.

If we realized that we are able to rise above the excrement, that we are given this…bird’s eye-view…of what it is that we are faced with, and if we can simply just tear it all apart, so that we can pinpoint where it is that the terror within us lives, we are able, at that moment to either be brave, or work on becoming brave, so that we can, when the demons rear their heads again, stare them in the face, knowing that the danger they pose is a danger that we have self-imposed on ourselves. This is not saying that no one has a real fear of what it is that we each and all have experienced. It is to say, though, that since it is that we are who give these demons their power, we are also the ones who can destroy them with that same power.

Once it is that we have realized our own power in terms of acknowledging what truths are there, and once it is that we have decided that we will take on our demons, that we will slay our dragons, that we will squish our spiders with the gigantic slippah of the truth, we realize that the monsters that live there are the very sort that Bug Bunny coiffed in so many cartoons.

Let this be the monster who stays….he’s got fabulous hair …and he makes us laugh hysterically, even as at the same time, we are terrified of him.

Our terror keeps us grounded, but, our bravery allows us to fly…

Don’t be so scared of what it is that was placed there, for whatever reason we had when we placed it all there….we placed it there, meaning that we are the only one who has the power to remove it all…

…one spider at a time…one slippah at a time….



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It Scares You, Doesn’t It?


What would you do if challenged to help, for real, using only who you are and what you do? What would you do if you were given the chance to be there, for real, for anyone at all and actually mean it?

We humans like believing that we help everyone we can. While this might be tangibly the truth, what is also the truth is that the underlying energy of the reason why we want to help others is not what we even think about.

The truth is that when we help someone else, we are also helping ourselves.

Work with me for a moment, will you? Let me take you someplace that not a lot of Professional Weirdos are willing to take anyone who ought to want to go to those proverbial places that we all want to visit but are scared to death to do that.

Yes – scared to death. We are terrified of doing right by others, because we do not know how to feel okay with ourselves without also feeling guilty for having felt like that (truth), and on the other side of that, others are scared to help because those others, even while they will not admit it, are doing things solely for the purpose of being thanked and knowing that they were depended on, meaning that to some degree and specifically if they do not realize this, was all about controlling someone else through measures of instilling guilt, shame, self-loathing, into the person who they are claiming they want to help.

And the most …not thought about…part of all of this helping others and the manner which we are doing it, and the reason why we each and all particularly have in terms of helping others. I can say right now that there was a time, a long time ago, that I would help damned nearly anyone who ever came to me for my help. Little did I realize that sometimes, those people were not playing fairly, using my words against others as though that is what my intention was when I began to work with them. When what I told them was used against the person who they were trying to be with, and also worked against these particular clients’ plans other than what I was hoping they would do (which was simply to heal themselves and learn from the harsh things going on in their lives, but they didn’t), I became very upset, to the point of rage. No one needs that.

There were times that I wanted to help them so that they could help me not feel guilty for not putting myself, my beliefs, my values and who I am aside, for not dumbing myself down, for not failing me, but in those times, I reminded myself that being manipulated to help someone else, by that someone else, was not going to help my cause of helping people help themselves be better at being who they really are. I reminded myself that I cannot help everyone, because the truth is that not everyone is able to be helped. You see, that is the part of being able to see one’s own self from a third person point of view – the ability to see where it is that perhaps we might need to work on ourselves. I get a lot of emails asking me about my reasons for doing things for other people and other groups of people, asking me why it is that I do not demand pay for these things from some of these groups, and the truth is that the groups in question are typically not groups of adults, but groups of kids whose parents are not able to help them in the same manner that someone else’s mom whose mission in life is imparting the truth onto the populace.

The only thing that I can say to these and in answer to these questions is because kids need all the help that they can get, because they are kids. I then ask these people if they recall being a kid, at any age, and how at all times they were terrified of everything, and usually I will remind them that the reason they are asking me that specific question is already they are revealing their fear to me. They are revealing that since they do not understand my own reasons as to why I charge certain people a certain rate, and others, I do what I do for the love of my work – that since it is that they would not do the same thing, that they will judge someone like me who has no problem doing what she can with what she has been given if it means that just one more person on this planet learns something.

The reason that anyone is afraid to help is, I think, also rooted in the fear that we will be asked to help others, others who we might not want to help at all, and into play comes that ego-self reaction of feeling obligated to help when really, we might not be able to help someone else, not because we do not want to, but because we are not the right type of healer for them. No one likes letting anyone else down, and really, no one is obligated until and unless they obligate themselves to whatever it is that they have named their cause for the moment. My cause for the moment is, as I have already mentioned, to do what I can with what I have been given so freely, to those who need what I can do…yes, sometimes I do this shit for free. Deal with it.

We have been guilted for generations to help others, ALL others, just because we have been told that we have to do this. No, we do not. You would not help a group of people who form groups of people who seek out the weak and vulnerable among us so that those in that group could further their cause, would you? Of course you wouldn’t. However, you would do something for someone like yourself, someone who you could relate to and someone who you could possibly have a pretty good effect on the lives of both you and the person who you have chosen to help, simply because when we help, we are doing what we are all supposed to be doing with what it is that we do anything at all with. We are not here to be ultra cool and groovy, creating these lives filled with love and wonder, and keeping it all to ourselves, at all. We are not here to decide who is and who is not worthy of our help, for the simple fact that when we need to know, need to learn, need to have that instance of what is part of the purpose we are in this lifetime, and our part in our mission with the tribe of souls on this planet in this lifetime, so that we, through that effort and the use of those gifts, will not only be able to help others who we can help, but more, to teach us the reality that is “judge not, lest first ye shall be judged,” and to also know who are the least of us, who are those who deserve to know what is our inner state of giving, and those who we will learn the very most from, even if we never, ever meet them face to face.

This is what is our collective, global mission – we are in place to be of good service to and for one another, but never to be in servitude, which is what a whole LOT of people feel like they are doing when they are asked to do anything for anyone else. This is not the truth, and no you are not obligated to do anything out of your not wanting to feel guilty. You are not supposed to help if you feel obligated, but go and help anyone who the sacrifice, if that is what you must see it as, will be worth the value of the reward in energy that you, yourself, will create for you, for those others in need. Don’t think of it as being something that you just cannot get into, because service to all of humanity is different than being enslaved by the grind caused by the thing that you have been told all of your life is actual charity. Charity is NOT you giving things and money away for free to strangers (okay, so, technically it is BUT…I think you know what I am saying). but you taking the time to care about other human beings who you are trying to make things a little better for.

It does not make you a patsy, or a sucker, and it does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you very strong to know that on some level, even a tiny little one, you have helped to at least make the thought that you helping is somehow going to score you brownie points with your mother’s god and so that he will not strike you down for not doing what you were told by your unenlightened and controlling pastor who may well be getting a kick back from all of the campaigning that you are doing on behalf of the church he is not giving credit to the congregation for having done a stellar job in terms of caring for the global flock. (Yup, I have issues with church and organized religion…like I make it a secret or something)

I suppose that my point today is that you are meant to help others, without guilt and without feeling guilty if you do not or cannot help with certain others – that is not your fault, and you are not here to save the world. You are here to beautify your world with others like you and who live within that world, for no matter how long a time they are there, so that together, you can, with them, become your purpose, serve your mission with them and with others like them, for a common cause, which typically is not ever a bad cause, really. In my case, it is helping those who are just like me…moms with kids, women who have survived the bad moon rising of domestic violence and emotional abuse, parents who want every kid within their reach to have the best chance at a great life, all created by their own dreams and their own hands….and most of all, those who, by the very grace of the Goddess, have the ability to reach out to the world, to teach it how to live in harmony with itself, to learn to live without apology, and to Love without condition, to live within the bounds of our own personal level and energy of integrity, and to be the shining example of keeping hold and never letting go of each of our own born-into-it Kuleana, our personal responsibility, as handed to us by the Goddess, cultivated within us through the desire to see good in the world as it really is…organic…

….but mostly, to never lose sight of the one thing that should be the prize that all of our eyes are upon, at all times…

…the ability to fully Be Love, and by that measure to Be, In Love… Being, In Love, is not the sort that you might think when you see that term. It is nice to be In Love with one other person who you share so very much in common with (Hi Maestro…Muah). Yet, to Be, In Love, means to always live within a presence of Love within the confines of one’s own life, to Be in the Love that is within one’s own self and for one’s own self, and to know that even when things suck, we have the option to Be, In Love, or to be in turmoil from not ever thinking that the most loving thing that we can ever do for ourselves is to do what we do for those whose mission in life is the same as ours…I just said what it is….I’ll say it again…


Nike says Just do it…

Spirit says Be, In Love…so just do it – Be, In Love…

Big Mahalos for Reading and Sharing…Aloha Kakou…

#LosAngelesKahuna #PuckingIrishGuysRockShop #TheCrabAndTheFish

#AmberSkinCare #StonekingMusic #SoulSurreal #ArbonneReeniJ

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Consciousness IS Physical

Lightbody Manaoblog june 13 2016

Consciousness has been left to those debating if whether or not our consciousness on the personal and singular level is more than only thought, but also physical, as well.

Believe it or not, I am a skeptic and have always been. This is probably not something that anyone who does not know me very well would know at all – I doubt a LOT of what I am told until what I am told can be proven with facts and even scientific evidence to back it up. I cannot help being this way, because I have always been this way, way deep down in the bones of my soul. However, it does not cross anyone’s mind when they also know that I am a Pisces, because all of us fish live our lives in a bubble of belief that even for all of its bubbly flimsiness, that I am not your typical Pisces. In fact, a whole lot of us fish are not typical human type beings, and really, it is not that hard to figure that much out. What is hard to figure out for some folks is why it is that we tend to feel what it is that literally, we feel.

It is our level of consciousness, really. Every single one of us has a level of consciousness, and all of us has only what is our own awareness to depend on. Awareness is the thing, at the bottom of it all, that I write about, because out of our awareness are born our truths. Our truths are formed by the experiences that we have in terms of what it is that we are aware of in every manner that we can be aware. Awareness is truth.

Awareness is Truth

Our level of awareness of things and of things that we are not able to see with our physical eyes but only sense on the level of the soul is the truth. The level of awareness that we have is absolutely tied to what is our physical reality, including our Selves, but, there is the idea that other people, and in my case, other scientist type people, want the world, or so it seems, to not have our truth as believable by our own Selves. What those guys are not thinking about is the one thing that my English Comp professor told his noon class for the majority of the term.

“Only Awareness is Sacred,” (M. Harper, 2016), because for real, awareness is the truth.

Sometimes, the truth makes us cry, or it makes us mad, and sometimes, that same awareness makes us happy, even if only for a fleeting moment – it is our truth in that moment, the awareness that we are experiencing because the way that we are experiencing it is the way that only we, ourselves, will. Some philosophers want us to believe that we are not more than fancy meat that can think and reason (as taught about the truths of others, philosophically, by  the very lovely Dr.’s Lane…David and Andrea…hi guys), while others believe that we are connected to everything that is in existence (which, we are…particle theory …google it). Regardless of anything, the bottom line, at least in my own thoughts, is that indeed, Consciousness IS Physical.

Consciousness…it’s that thing you’re observing

Well now…this thing called Consciousness is apparently a big fat deal, so long as you know that it is a very personal thing for us each.

Whatever it is that I am physically  aware of, that you also might be physically aware of, is not going to be the same for us each. Unless you are my other half, you are not going to be able to understand the way that I see things, the way that I am consciously aware of things, in and out of my awareness, because the bottom line is that you are not me, I am not you, and we are each given to our own discernment of what is going on outside of us, which affects what is going on in our inner worlds, and that will make that which we see outside of ourselves, singularly, is NOT going to be the same thing. At all.

Something that might make me laugh might also be something that could make another human being cry. Something that might make me hurt for weeks is something that another might not be bothered by at all, and what enrages another might be something that the rest of us can’t figure out why anyone would get that angry about anything for. These are all things that we do not think about – the idea that Consciousness is Physical. I say so because of the following…

When you cry, it is because something made you happy enough or sad enough to have that physical reaction to what was just witnessed. When you are happy and joyful about something, perhaps something that you have been waiting to have happen, and you jump for joy, literally, that is a physical reaction. When you have been proverbially kicked in the head a million times by life, and people do not get it in terms of what you are going through, and you get very angry and end up hurting yourself physically (yet accidentally), the pain that you feel from the thing that happened is real – your pain is physical, as is the pain caused by the anger, thereby making Consciousness PHYSICAL, not just for me, but for everyone on this planet.

Awareness is Physical

I am one of those geeks who likes to think that once it is that she has her proof, that is that, and there is no one who will tell me it is not. When we are aware of anything, we see what we are aware of. Think about the things that you have physically about yourself, and you will know what it is that we are all able to do and more, what we are all able to have awareness of. The body, we all know, does not lie. The very idea that the body as Awareness completely flies in the face of things that state the two – the physical and consciousness – are not able to meet in the middle somehow.

That we are thinking beings (brain=physical) ought to be enough, via the bodily reaction to ALL stimuli (bodily reaction = physical) to show us that the two not only go hand in hand, but are very much not able to happen without each other. This is not my rule, but my observation (because, you know, I have a physical self, just like everyone else on this planet does).

To believe that somehow, that we are thinking beings does not equate to the idea that at the same time, we are also physical beings, is the thing that leaves open this mystery of if we are able to meld the physical to our consciousness. How could we not? How can we each and all just sit here, believing the thing that I deplore the very most – believing that we are not much else than fancy meat that can reason? If this were the very truth, then why is it that when we are emotionally wounded, we feel our tears, which are coming out of our eyes (tear glands in the upper eyelids = physical), and then when they are out of our eyes, they slide silently down our face (facial skin = physical). When we are angry, we don’t even think about it – we blow a fuse (adrenaline, produced by the adrenal medulla in the limbic system of our  brains = physical).

Everything in each of our conscious awareness is there because of our five physical senses. Without those five senses, we are not able to actively feel our lives happening around us, not able to know, through the knowledge and awareness that is the body, what it means to be alive in the sense that we are alive and well and happy to be here. Without our ability to think, we are not able to feel, and if we cannot feel, we have no idea that awareness is the compass that we have that will tell us when to run in fear, stand up and fight, or freeze in our tracks. Without this awareness we are also not aware of things that happen that are not within the body, but that happen to us all in the manner that is our wonder and awe at life as it happens around us, or our ire as life changes into what it is meant to be.

When we choose to be aware, we are also choosing to be in our truth. When we are paying attention to the way that we feel, this is when we are in our truth. When we are being willing to feel everything that we need to feel, even if we do not want to feel it all and all for the sake of learning, we are in our truth. When we are uncomfortable, we are uncomfortable because while it is that we are in our truth, we are also in a truth that does not feel right. None the less – nothing is more sacred than Awareness, because awareness reveals the truth, and the truth is who we each and all are, no matter if it is that the truth we are is the truth that we have to reinvent for ourselves.

If you are aware of your self, then you are living actively in your truth. If you are living in your truth, you are in the consciousness of that truth. If you are in the consciousness of that truth, you are feeling that truth in your soul. If you are feeling that truth in your soul, then your soul is telling that truth to your body, and your body is making you aware that you are consciously living and being within your own truth. If you are living and being within your own truth, you probably don’t get physically ill very often. If you are not getting sick, physically, very often, this means that you are consciously aware of your Self.

If you are consciously aware of your truth, this means that you can feel it bodily, because you are able to respond to your own body’s truths, and since it is that you are able to respond to your own body’s truths, you are consciously living the truth. When you know you are living the truth, your body responds, making you aware through your thoughts, about how well you feel, even though things might not be that great at the moment. It doesn’t matter. You are aware of how you feel and you are able to deal with whatever comes your way. You know that you are able to cry tears when they are most needed and expected, that you are allowed to be angry when the time calls for it, and you know that you are able to laugh at yourself. When you laugh at yourself, you are releasing lots of happy hormones that make you think of things that also make you happy, which lends to the happy in general.

When you are happy, you feel it physically. I have yet to feel sad when I am listening to music that I love with the one person who I love the most who does not call me Mom. I feel it physically, the way that my energy level shifts when we are in each others’ energy, and physically, like right this moment, I can feel the lowered energy of his absence, and even as I know I will see him again very soon, I can still feel myself missing him next to me. I can feel it when he is not around, just as much as I can feel it when something good is happening for him – I can physically feel it. I could feel it when my daughter graduated from high school last week, and felt it when I found out about my passing grade in BioPsych (it was a really challenging class…but I loved it).

All these things have made me sit here and sense my body’s awareness of my consciousness and my thoughts right now.

Apparently, I am a very happy chick….I am smiling, and that is a physical reality caused by an emotional and spiritual inner reality.

Hence, Consciousness is Physical.

Thank you for reading…please share it with your friends !!









* GEMINI NEW MOON (June 4) with Grand Mutable Cross: Movement from Our Heart Hub

This is very pertinent information for us all…think about it…#LosAngelesKahuna

Melanie's Astro~News

The recent sequence of significant planetary alignments is still active. Quite the ‘domino effect’!

And it’s going into the ‘alchemical mix’ of  the Mutable Grand CrossNEW MOON which is like a ‘Crest of the Wave’ – all met in the Heart.

HeartwaveHere they are, ‘in order of appearance:

May 26:

JUPITER in VIR squared SATURN retro in SAG (# 3 out of 3 alignments Aug 3, 2015, March 23, and May 26, 2016 – all Spring 2016 affected by this challenging alignment between two major ‘players’):
Crisis and Perspective

  • If things don’t ‘work out’, are not aligned, and ‘don’t go anywhere’, what is the paradigm shift that’s giving you a new perspective and ‘WHY’?
  • Maybe not now, but soon in hindsight (ha, good old SATURN…), circumstances might show how what looks like a ‘bad thing’ carries a valuable lesson?
  • What does the Heart and Loving Kindness say…

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