Monthly Archives: May 2014

Up all night

Migraines. Nausea. Uncontrollable urges to cry. Raging. Melancholy. Unable to stay asleep for longer than a few hours through the night. Extreme highs and lows which shift like the wind. All at one time. No, you are not insane, you are shifting.



There are a whole lot of websites which tell us about this thing called “The Ascension,” and there are people in your circle of friends and family who might even be talking about something called “shifting,” and you are totally clueless as to what they are talking about, even though you are experiencing all these physical happenings in your body.  Sometimes you might see something out of the corner of your eye, and never before have you seen things like that. Sometimes you hear things that no one else hears, and sometimes, you feel aches and pains that you “feel” physically, even though, on some other level, you don’t.

You are not crazy. You are doing what is called “shifting,” and what that means, very simply, is that your physical self is doing what your Soul-self has been doing for a long, long time – raising its own vibration so as to accommodate all of the things which are also evolving in the grander awareness around us.  Just like “as above, so below,” the same thing could and does apply to the world around you and also your inner, personal world of thought, soul and feelings. What  is happening within you is also happening outside of you, and in your limited human thinking, you want to believe that you are sick and ailing in the body. The reality is that you are perceiving the changes in the only manner that any human being who has not opened his or her awareness to the point where you know that what you are going through is on the ethereal level and not only on the bodily conscious level.

Your Higher Self is expanding, meaning that you are opening up to a greater awareness, not only of yourself, but of the world around us all, and in particular, your own personal world.

In that way and in that awareness you are starting to understand in the manner that you never have before, or at least were not, until this moment, aware that this is how you have been communicated with by Spirit for a long, long time. Another thing that is happening is that, at this moment in our history as evolved beings, we are ridding ourselves of energies and things and people and situations which are not useful for our personal AND  our collective purpose in this lifetime, and, as well, our collective mission with the others in our tribe. What no longer fits in our lives, or is in not in accordance with our purpose, and specifically what is not aligned with our mission that we are meant to carry out with others, simply is just being ushered out of our lives and is doing so on a grand and global scale. Since it is that we are all connected to one another, we are not only feeling our own stuff, but that of the collective whole in terms of what others who are like us are also going through that mirrors our own stuff.

As crazy as that all might sound, the truth is that humanity has been doing this shift thing since human beings first traversed the planet upright and via only the Ten Toe Express. Now, though, in our very technologically evolved state, it seems that things like this shifting stuff happens at an alarmingly fast rate of speed, and on the flesh-and-blood level of awareness, we are not getting it and we are medicating ourselves literally into oblivion (mostly youngsters because they are having a hard  time with their own growing AND the shifting of consciousness) because we were never taught about how to really deal with the changes, and- yes – the generations prior to our own were bullied into thinking, and even believing, that what I am saying here and now is somehow the ramblings of a madwoman.

I promise you, it is not.

Let’s think in terms that are “as above, so below” for a moment, okay? Let’s think about the last time you had a very, very bad migraine headache – the sort that makes you deal with nausea and makes you want to hurl, and where it was that you thought it came from, even as it came from the same place that it starts with everyone physically (your liver…Google it). Think about the times that you were in such great pain, or perhaps you were having to deal emotionally with things that, if they were familiar, the headache was also familiar and likely brought you back to the thought in your head now and which was similar to then, which in turn also created the same energy that it did back then, but in the now.

The result was a familiar headache from a familiar feeling about a familiar pain in the ass from the past, no matter how distant.

And like we are willing to inoculate ourselves via modern medicine to get rid of the physical manifestation of our emotional and spiritual crap (lots of us turn to #thepharmaceuticals), we are also willing to believe that things within our awareness are the reason that we are Spirit sick, but in reality, things outside are not the cause, but the trigger.

The cause is within you, and the cause is why it seems so hard for anyone who does not know this stuff , to go through all of these spiritual shifts in our own awareness, our own physical selves and the things that are there and present. We are each being called to accept, to deal with and to embrace whatever it is that is bothering us.

By this I do not mean that we have to accept or deal with or embrace them in the manner that we thought was correct the first time all of the really big stuff came to us. What I mean is that we have to accept that we have been where we have been, deal with the things which have culminated over the years, not only to us but to those who we care the most about, and need to embrace the idea that really, this is all meant and is totally part of who we are because we were shaped, not by the actual “bad” things that happened, but rather and only how we went headlong into the fray, choosing to survive it, not worrying about losing whatever it was that we thought was going to be lost, and in that line of thought, we survived.

Survivors. I am one. I love people who want to survive, and I love that they are more willing to come away from something because they had the thought in their heads long before they even got out of something and long before now, that they were going to make things in this particular part of their lives, count, and count on a level that they even didn’t realize was why they went through what they did, why they go through what they do. I just finished telling a very close friend of mine (Hi Jimmy!…no spiders haha) that the reason he is being shown what he is being shown at this moment in time, by someone who he would rather not even have to deal with anymore, is so that this time around, he can say what he has to and needs to say to them, and more, so that this time, it will be with a different, more reasonable, less emotionally driven, more “oh NO! AGAIN?” but not in the same manner that it had always been in the past, kind of energy.

This time, my boy Jimmy gets to have his say so, and this time, gets to walk away from it all knowing, for sure, that he is done with whatever is the energy of that time. This is not only Jimmy’s, but everyone’s lesson right now, to accept that we get to say what we have to say, and we get to say it in a manner that is not like the assholes we once were and we are to expect that, no matter how the other person or party takes it all in and processes it, we get to finally let it go, all of it. And more, we also get to say “to hell with you if you don’t like it if I am not willing to play your high school games anymore. I graduated…deal with it.” Perhaps not in that biting of a manner, but I am sure you get what I am trying to say. You are older now, making you more inclined to know what is important enough to become emotional about, what is just there and being a pain in the ass still. The time has come to us all to let go, for real, of the things that still haunt us daily. Really, the only way that what is there now in the physical cannot be gone from our physical awareness until we have been able to evolve our emotions to the point where we are more tired than compelled to give a damn about things that broke our hearts and made us crazy. Very literally, like Snoop said a long time ago in a lyric in a song, the title which escapes me, but certainly NOT the lyric…it says, and it totally applies to those in mid-shift and applies in the sense that is the others who harmed us…“When you find out what to do with it, I’ll be done with it…”

And really, things like this are happening everywhere, for all of us. Where it was in the past that there was an issue and a situation that called for our emotional selves, and seeing as how we were likely much younger (making us much more emotionally inclined about certain things and FAR MORE egotistical about them as well) and much more able and willing to try harder to not only make things nicer for everyone else involved, but we were more willing to give away pieces of ourselves, only to come back to that energy that lived there for as long as it has been that the initial lesson began, so that we can end it, once and for all.

Ending things, as somehow hard as it seems, even the “bad” stuff, is needed. We need to let go of, finally, permanently, not the lesson or what we have learned, but the emotional stuff that we are prone, as humans, to hang onto.  Our egos want to hang onto the things that hurt us and pissed us off, and while it is that we are meant to retain what we have learned, what we are not meant to hang onto is the pain and the bad stuff – only what we learned. This does not mean that the memory of what we have experienced will go away, because it never will. It means that the way we perceive the memory will evolve into being just that – the snapshot of the thing that happened in our lives that taught us a major lesson about something and that impressed upon us the thing that we learned, and imprinted into our psyche the ability to sense whatever it was that we were given as a lesson so many years ago, possibly lifetimes ago.

‘Auhea wale ana ‘oe – please kokua me and pay attention – you are safe to let go of the pain part, of the things that broke your heart, again and again, and the things that raised the heat of your vibration to the point where it became toxic, and you are safe to rid yourself of that part of whatever it was that you experienced, no matter how long ago. If you have learned what it is that you know you were meant to learn, you can now close that book, and you can now safely, because you no longer need that particular teacher anymore, thank Spirit for that teacher, and in that same energy, you are also safe to release the pain, and the anger, and hell yes – that particular teacher- and retain only the lesson which you have been made stronger and more brilliant because of.

In their place will be the glorious incandescence that is You, shining white hot and brilliant like the stars in the sky, and ever stronger for the things that now, you know.

I Love You All !


Do you see what I see? (Probably not)

Awareness. It can serve us or, through our not wanting to look at what is the truth and the reality, it can hinder us. What is in your awareness, and more – do you know why it is there?


It is my opinion that being aware of things is far more than watching one’s own okole. True, in our physical awareness, and with everything that we see within it, we can see the basic truths of things as they are in the physical sense of things.  We are not really sensing, unless we have been taught to do so, what else is there, in our awareness, and why it is there.

In the lives of Light Workers and Healers, it is awareness which makes us seem as though we have some sort of magical ability to sense where it is that other people are in need of healing (we do, but that is for another blog post). By healing, I do not mean of only the physical sort, but of the emotional and soul sort, which really is where all of our ailments in the body come from. Our thoughts dictate our perception of things, and our memories and the imprint left there by past events help to confirm for us what has come into our awareness.  How we see what has come into our own awareness is how we will always, until we learn to replace whatever it is that is symbolized by what we are looking at, feeling, smelling, hearing, etc., through the limited capabilities of our five physical senses, see what has come into it. The things contained in those thoughts become the symbol of whatever emotions we have behind those thoughts.

And for real, that is where our own personal reality begins – with our own symbols of what we are aware of at any given time.

Turtles, Sharks, Pineapples, Crabs, Alligators, Teeth…

You are all likely wondering what these seemingly random things are about.  For each of these things, there is a corresponding reason for the symbolism produced by each of them, for me, which relates to something or someone else.  Each of these things carry specific meaning and energy for me, and each of these things is related to something as well as someone else.  However, what each of these things means to me does not mean that each of these things will also mean the same things to you.

What are my personal symbols and the reasons behind them are mine. This does not mean that someone else does not have the same symbolism, for the same reason, but normally, what is my “Gator” is someone else’s “Monkey,” and what is my “monkey” is no one’s business but my own.

Symbolism plays a huge part in our own personal awareness of things, of situations, of people. It also is sort of a holder, a container, if you will, of memories which give us each its own personalized energy that was not only created by us, but also has been stored in the capacity in which it was presented to us.  If someone told us something years ago, and we mentally relate that thing to something else, usually a visual, like a mental picture of even a movie scene (no, really), the way that we will remember that is either that it was a good thing (such as the word “Pineapple,” and how it has always made me feel) or perhaps a very bad thing (such as the word “Turtle,” and how, from time to time, it makes me feel), and that is how we will store the memory – it was either good, or it was bad. It is not the actual symbol, but the event related to that symbol that is also where the energy, at least in each of our heads, is stored, good or bad.

What is my “Pineapple” will not be yours, but it could be your “Coconut”

Now, while I am sitting here writing this, and as I read my own words, I am given to a bit of laughter, because what those two words symbolize for me, at least, will not be what they are for a whole LOT of other people, unless those other people know what each of those relate to (only a small handful of people know what either of those two words mean for me…I know they’re  just fruit to you, but they mean a whole, WHOLE lot to me…). My whole point here is that, with just the opening sentence to this portion of this writing, I have effectively planted a seed, not about pineapples and coconuts, but about other things that you, the reader, relates those things to.  At this time, there are some of you whose immediate mind picture was of Hawai’i, and for others, summertime, and yet others, people (yes, people). No matter how anyone looks at each of these words, and knowing what they are technically, no matter what – each of us at this very moment is seeing a different mind-picture, even as we are all seeing the very same words.

It is our awareness of things, of these things which we each have and call our own symbols that bring to us the pieces of reality which we have created.  This is what is meant by anyone at all saying that we create our own reality. Everything that we see and know and feel in our lives, somehow, we drew to ourselves.  What we are not aware of at the time that the things in our awareness is created is that, really, we called what we have in our lives into our lives, because through those things and of course, through those people, there were and are lessons that we also called into our awareness.

Reread that. Reread it because what might seem like I have said that you invited that horribly abusive spouse, that you invited those less-than-desirable people who stole from you into your life, that you invited the way you were treated as a child, that you invited all of the turmoil to your life that you are faced with, in reality, what was really brought by you was the lesson you wanted to learn. It was through means that you could understand why it is that you did not understand why you were someone’s victim (…really, it was so that you would find out that in reality, you were never anyone’s victim, but that you were your own survivor), why those people who swore they were your friends went out into the world and said some really awful stuff about you (…really, it was so that you would know that you truly were NOT with the people who you were meant to hang with, and now look at who you are hangin’ with…yay you!), why it is that anything you have gone through and that also sucked, sucked as badly as it did – it is because you called the lesson into being, that’s why.

You wanted to know some things, and, in wanting to know some things, you needed to have something, some sort of symbol, that you would recognize and that would stick in your brain-cave.  In those things that you needed, there were symbols that you attached to them, and throughout the time that you were learning, you were also cementing into your head whatever symbolism it was that you associated with that person, that place, or that thing, and no matter what way any one of us looks at where we have each been and what we have each gone through, it cannot be denied that whatever it is that you were meant to learn, you probably learned, because you bothered to pay attention to your awareness.

I recall being a little kid and hearing my “Tutu Aunties” (My dad’s aunties…they were ancient to me when I was a child) always scolding us all to ” ‘auhea wale ana ‘oe – PAY ATTENTION!,” and yes, that is what that phrase means, to make sure you are paying attention. I say it often, mainly to some of the teens I coach, that they will want to learn to ‘auhea wale ana ‘oe, because it is not only through what I teach them that they need to retain, but more, what it is that their own good thoughts produce for them as their symbolism and why it is that they associate certain words with certain pictures.  No matter what their reason is, it is their thought associated with a past event which brings to mind their symbols, just as it does for the rest of us.

It is our own symbolism which shows to us, in the manner which only the Mother Goddess can give to us, from our own souls, which help us make the most sense of things, namely when it seems as though there is nothing but nonsense about certain things we have to deal with.  In thinking that we would like to have a better life for ourselves, and for those who we love the very most, we create things that remind us of things associated with the people who are a part of our soul tribe, a part of our family, the family which we were not born into and have instead created for ourselves.

We created the family for ourselves that we do have by calling into our lives and into our awareness the lessons needed so that we may, not seek out these people who we call “family,” but so that at just the right time, when our souls were ready to receive them, and theirs, ours, we just sort of happened for one another. To our lives we draw the people who mean something to us, the very ones who remind us of things, of places, and whenever we think about these people who mean so very much to us, automatically, there are our symbols, our signs telling us that indeed, these people are truly the reason that we went through anything terrible at all with anyone else who is no way associated with the people who hurt us the most and who were also the greatest (harshest) teachers we have ever known or had in our lives.

These new people (and many who are not new and who just happen to happen upon our lives) are the evidence of our awareness, of our paying attention to our symbolism, and about how much we really, really thought well enough of ourselves.  No matter what anyone thinks, the people in our lives are there and there with purpose. They are meant to share with us, and they are also meant to teach us. For those who were treated poorly by someone, the end result has been that the people who show up when we are going through our own healing process are also people who, themselves, need to heal.  The beauty is that, even thought it may seem that you are all somehow out of your minds, you aren’t, but above all, you are with and in the company of people who are worthy of you, of your soul and everything beautiful and magnificent that is contained within it.

The people who mean the very most to us are the ones who seem to show up just in time, who know us without really knowing us, and who seem to be the breather that really no one believes will show up. When they do, it is like being a child again, waiting for the fat guy in the red suit to show up on Christmas morning, except now, the child is an adult, and everyday can be called a reason for childlike, Christmassy excitement.

And hell yes…we all earned whatever it is that we see and feel and know that is within our awareness…no matter what, you brought into your life what you see there now.

Love it…or not…you created it.

Gee…I wonder what else we are all capable of?




The Illusionist

Typically, it happens when we are not looking for it, the truth in the illusion we create as what is, and more importantly, what is not, “Home.”


If there is anything that I have enjoyed being, or rather, anyone, who I have enjoyed Being, it is me. There are a lot of lessons that we learn when we are children and we live “at home,” but it is quite a different thing when someone is forced to go back there, not to a place, but to a place in time. 

At certain places, and at certain times, in my memory, “Home” was a comfortable place, until I found out that “Home” is not an address. “Home” is where you are comfortable and is also where you know you belong. “Home,” you see, in the sense that is a building, can contain energies from the past, even if the building is not the same building. It didn’t knock me in the head until about an hour ago, when I finally got over it all, and just began to go back into “think” mode. And the only thing that I could think to do was to write.

So I started doing what I do when I know what I want to say, but I don’t start thinking about what I wanna write, I think about who it is that I do the most for, at least in terms of what it is that “do” in this great big giant Universe.

It’s kids…any kids, at all, even the rotten little turds who like making life hard for everyone else…the little bullying bastards of the world, because they need the mom with the om energy that freely, I realize, I give. I Love the Energy that is the collective of the world’s children. I am a big kid. (Super Soaker fight anyone? I am a Super Soaker ninja, guys…and a water sign…you don’t want to go there with me…haha)

Kids are cool. You know I am right. They are awesome. They say the most hilarious things, and they want to know everything we know, and how in the world adults, namely mothers who also exist on this plane with us, somehow do not realize the gift that they are? The word “Mom” means a whole lot to a whole lot of us. For some of us, it makes us feel comfortable, while others, completely NOT comfortable. Where it is that there can be a feeling within a mother that would even allow her the thought that somehow, her not being there emotionally for her children, and her, seeming to vacate what one would think of as her very Sacred, very, very Divine Privilege, to share air with people for whom she is their guide and their measuring stick to knowing what is, and what is not, also Sacred, also very, very Divine?

Mothers have a Divine purpose. It is our purpose, NOT only to bring into this world, the generations of people who, within those sets of kids, will be leaders and will be people who will change this world. It is up to us to help these little people figure this out about themselves, that they have greatness, and that they are special and that they are here for a Divinely timed and planned purpose, and to make sure that they see it all in their own heads. 

Sometimes, it doesn’t happen this way. Lots of people on this planet had what they needed materially, but in other ways, there was always something that was simply not there. It is the moms of the world, who will, or will not, help us learn that we are able to create our own reality. By this, I mean that, it is our job to get these little people to understand who they are, what they can do, that if they try anything at all, and they fail at it, they may end up learning something else about themselves, that possibly, through that failure, they discovered. Not all kids have this. 

However, my kids do have this. I became the mom I wanted them to have. I could be a pain in the ass, but my kids are good people, with lots of Love to offer the world, and they are like this in an unconditional manner. And yes, of course, I taught them this. This was, is, will always be my purpose in their lives. It will always be mine, to teach them to cut through the illusion that is what they perceive as comfort, and get to the middle of it all, eyes wide open, fear exposed, but their hearts never failing them. This, I taught them. This is what I gave to them – to always seek out their own truth, live up to their Divine Selves and know that they indeed have a Sacred Purpose in this lifetime. I had to teach them that there is no such thing as a big, scary, jealous, vengeful God, and that what their Grandmother calls “God,” their mother addresses as “Spirit,” and “The Mother Goddess.” I taught them that they are free to be who they are, no matter who tells them that they are wrong, and more, judging people before we know who they are for real is simply just not cool. 

I have shielded them from nothing, but mostly, the thing I never shielded them from was Love, or Truth. Really, this is what they need. This is what we all need. They need respect as much as they need to be taught discipline. They need it in overload, because that is what it takes to be able to handle the eventual breakdown of the illusion created by someone else’s sense of what is right, what is wrong, and what is real to them, versus what is real to us. What is real to me will not ever be real to anyone else. I have, if anything, instilled this into their brilliant minds. It was my duty, the moment the doctor said she could see their heads, to make them know that they are important, gifted, special, here for a purpose, and mine…just not to keep.

This was not only my duty to them, but was our simultaneous gift to each other, to teach my kids what is the truth of Love, and learn also this very same thing from them.  We taught each other to be “at home” with each other, and went out into each of our worlds and extended that to our own personal tribes. This is what is my purpose in their lives – to always just be there, and to also teach them to also, for their own tribes, just be there. 

We are their mothers. We are either the bearers of light, the guides through the shadow side, the angel of mercy through the halls of pain, and always, the bastion of Light that is Love, all the time and for real…

…or we remain as the grand illusionists we even fool our very selves with!

Think about it…

I Love You All !



We Survive

Light workers know that much of the work we do in the world deals with lots of toxic people. How we manage to navigate the tainted and torrid waters of life with these toxic people is nothing short of miraculous, because toxicity in any form can end a life. There are ways that we do this, and all of them point to survival, but the one thing we know works the best may (or may not) surprise you

I pray. That’s right. I said it. Deal with it. I pray. I pray in thanks to the Mother Goddess for having had my back all this time that I have been breathing and in this lifetime, and I have prayed to the Mother Goddess for peace and for transformation in times when I needed a change of pace and more, a change of scenery, and all the while, the one thing that I never thought about was not being able to survive all of the ugly things that were forced on me throughout the course of my lifetime.

I have said it again and again, that the thing about a person who has been someone else’s victim and what that person wants the most is simply to survive the thing that might currently be eating their life. It is true that there are people who share the air with us who will do anything at all to try to bring another person, no matter who they are, and likely many more other persons, to their proverbial knees, just because that is what they do the best.  These are the very people who cause us to have a reason to want to survive. It happens early on, when we are building trust with certain people, and while we are doing what we think we ought to do, there is always that “thing” in the back of our heads that is of a cautionary energy, that is there and in place to warn us, even as we might not heed that warning, of danger.

Of course, sometimes, those people who are toxic and who we end up spending an awful lot of time with…sometimes the reason that they do not leave and remain a part of our lives is because unbeknownst to them and to us, they are about to teach us an important lesson, and one that is a many-years long teaching, because what lies ahead for us is awesome, is magnificent, and is, in many ways, no way compatible with who we are when these very douche-baggish people end up in our lives for many, many years. I know this story, as I have lived it, and if there is one thing that I know that the people who I can do nothing about in terms of their being able to get a clue, let alone grasp onto it and learn why it is that this particular clue has come to them in the form of a life issue, it is the idea that until we learn whatever it is that these….people with ill intent…have to teach us, and until we have learned the lesson in completion, they are there and staying there in our lives until we learn.

Yet, once we do learn, there are other, better things that happen for us, and sometimes, those things, even though they do not completely make sense even as they make perfect sense, becomes the reward and more or less the diploma of graduation for us having survived it all. And how did we survive it all?

Easy….first we pined over things that could have been (been there, done that, but don’t have to do that anymore)…then, we got really, really mad at the idea that we did not see it all coming, and then it just kept coming, and soon afterwards we realized without realizing that what we have in our midst is not going anywhere, and that, no matter what, we have to do what we can to not only find our way out of such awful circumstances, but more than that, the most of us will end up doing like we always did – we dropped to our knees in fervent prayer, and started begging for mercy, begging for the other person’s karmic reward, and then one day, we grew up to the idea that we got ourselves into this, and that since we were able to help create such a situation, that we would also be able to create a way out of it.

The thing that we didn’t think about, even though we were correct, was that it was gonna take time, tears, patience, and a whole lot of other things, with one of the most important things being prayer.

Yet, while we were all children, sitting in the pews, or sitting at our auntie’s house – either way, when we were young, we were taught something very important, and that something is prayer. What we were not taught, though, was that praying to Spirit is effective, as long as those prayers are directed and embody the energy of Spirit. We were not taught this part. We were only taught that Spirit likes to hear from us, and that Spirit likes to help us, and that Spirit likes to do a lot of things on our behalf. What we were not taught was that effective prayer dictates that we must believe that the outcome has been set, that we must be able to see the outcome as being beneficial to everyone involved – yes, even the person or persons who caused our proverbial okoles to itch like we had plenty ukus, and through it all, we had to trust that our prayers not only were heard, but that they would also be effectively and ultimately answered.

This is all fine and good, but when you are in the middle of the worst hell you have ever gone through, effective prayer is something that anyone who wants to survive anything at all doesn’t think about. In fact, when shit hits the fan, it is the last thing that we are thinking about. It might seem like it is sort of cruel, or perhaps even a bit on the daunting side to think that we would be answered, because if we were really that well liked, let alone loved, by this altruistic being we cannot see, we would not have to go through whatever bullshit it is that we have been met with. When a person is in survival mode, survival really is the only thing on their mind. When a person feels like their lives are the very middle core of hell, there is not a whole lot that that person will believe in terms of some….energy…in the great big “out there” is somehow going to help us just because we need that help and want that help.

The things that visit our lives in the times when we are looking to the heavens and wondering if something bigger than us is up there and staring back at us are the things that, at one point in consciousness, we, without knowing and without being too, too detailed about it all, asked for something. Maybe we asked for a clue about patience, or maybe it was the truth of love between two people, or maybe it was work that utilized one’s own ethereal gifts, or whatever it was…when we asked, we were not clear about things. We were emotionally not able to clearly state what it was that we really wanted, and it came out as,and the intention, as well, was what it was, and what it was, at that time, and according to your own asking and intent and willingness to receive it in the manner that it was asked for – you got exactly what you asked for.

Now, it might not have been what you thought it would be, the way that the lesson was brought to you, and neither how you learned it, but the bottom line is that here you are, in the Now, and you cannot begin to see who you were back then as being anywhere near who you are now, and yes, you likely asked for it, even as you didn’t know that the way to get to where you are now, as a survivor, was meant to teach you to survive whatever it was that you went through, thereby making you stronger, quicker in thought and action, and more than anything, able to take on a lot more than you ever thought you could. While it is that the way that anyone who can call themselves a survivor might suck, will make a person cry, will make them be really, really mad at the world and usually pissed off all the time, one must admit that when any one of us looks back at where we have been and what we have accomplished, the lessons that we learned from these less-than-desirable people in our lives are priceless.

They are priceless because they were tailored by us, and we don’t know it, and because we created them, we know, too, that we can get through them, but we do not know this until after the lesson has been learned. I am reminded of the twenty year cycle that we all go through, and how it is that, after twenty years passes, in that set of years that passes, and at the onset of those years, beginning after the idea that we thought we lost anything, is when we began to craft the solution to our big giant ugly issues. We don’t realize that in the time that passes, while it might seem that there was nothing but pain and loss, the reality is that most of the time, it would hurt more to lose what we had at that time, because what we had at that time, even the people who are our teachers, was all we had and due to the nature of the lessons, were really what we needed.

The most brilliant teachers in our lives are some of the most clueless people.  They are clueless in that they fail to see that there are other people on the planet. They are clueless in that, when they see themselves as the victim and they take their victim show out into the world, they fail then, too, because they are too ready to take without reciprocating whatever energy it is that they stole from us under false pretenses. They are clueless in that, they themselves are in an ass load of pain, and in their cluelessness have failed to realize that it does not take pain that is going to last a long time to get over one’s own pain and that sharing that pain with other people rather than being able to get through it on their own…well, that is where the sucking of life from others takes on another paleness. This is when it begins, the harsh lessons. This is also when we learn to pray effectively.

When we learn to address the Mother Goddess with respect, and not with expectancy on her and entitlement on our part is when the effective nature of the belief in our own power as energetic people through the belief that we carry within us begins to shape itself. When we learn to be grateful for the ability to believe, based on the unbelievably horrible things that have brought us to our knees at one point, and then brought out our own glorious brilliance at yet another point, and we have, at that time, proof positive that we are indeed powerful as long as we are able to believe that we are at all times, and more, that we have help in the form of Spirit – this is when prayer works. It does not work when we are willing to make deals with and bargain with Spirit, because Spirit is all powerful and needs none of us to make deals with Her. It does not work when we are babbling some strangeness, in hopes that the Mother Goddess will be impressed by our rather large vocabulary, our airy-fairy voices and take our words as being the right and matching energy to our intention. It doesn’t work that way.

What does work is a sincere idea, a right intention, about the things that we know we need, things that we know can only come from a collaborative effort between ourselves and the divine that it works. It is the one time that we have got to have faith, not only that Spirit hears us, but that we are also faithful and just to receive what it is that we know we need versus what it is that we want.

Once it is that we can get our thoughts to be where they need to be and we believe that we are powerful enough and that our intentions are right enough and that everyone included in our “Dear God(dess)” thing we each have goin’ on, this is when we will see, physically with our human type eyes, the nature of effective prayer. There is not one person who can call themselves a Survivor of anything at all who does not know that this is the very truth of things, that this is the be all and the end all of the everything that has broken our hearts and made us all crazy with so many emotions that to think about things in our lives and every situation where prayer would have been the very thing that anyone needed.

Basically, if you want your prayers to work, you have to do like a Pisces and simply, without caution and without reserve, believe. You have to believe that you are being heard and that at the moment the thoughtful prayers began, that they were already answered…

I Love You All !



On Purpose

We were all born to do one thing in this lifetime, and the similarity of that one thing that is shared and between us is our initiative to get on out there in the great big world and “get your good on.” Gettin’ one’s Good On is what we are all meant to do in this time in our lives. So what the hell are you waiting for, permission?

This week alone I have been left speechless by the things that I have heard and been witness to, and all of it has been, even as something that is happening cosmically has left us all a bit weary, very, very extra-special good.

And this is applicable to a whole lot of us. What is also applicable to a whole lot of us is that there are still those of us who are somehow waiting for a sign that now is when we need each other the very most. Now is when we should be happy to be the “Sherpa,” so to speak, for those who appear to need help finding their way down the Path they chose.  Yet, some folks do not know what path they are on, and many more don’t realize that the one they are on will only lead them back to where their own madness began. And there is not one light worker on this or any other planet who will disagree with me when I say that in terms of gettin’ one’s good on, a whole shitload of us are still very dearly trying NOT to do that.

You can try to not do what you are meant to do, but it isn’t going to happen – your good is needed

Your goodness is needed at this time. It doesn’t mean that you cannot be a bad ass – it simply means that it is time to raise you and your vibration and your purpose through the things that you are gifted with to the forefront and no longer fear the idea that you really don’t need other people anymore. You have come this far. You have been able to heal your pain to the point where you can sort of see where you are headed. You have, all this time, thought about the thing that you are good at, and at the same time, you have told yourself all these lies about how you know you are good at that one thing, but that you are not sure that other people will love or even like what it is that you do.

Knock it off. You are never going to know what the truth of you is if you do not allow other people to at least take a glance at it. I get it when talking or writing about trusting people. There are a lot of people who share the air with us who are just about the most untrustworthy folks in the world, but we would rather trade who we are and what we need and desire the most in exchange for some person’s hollow compliment. Compliments are nice. They make us feel like we are someone, but the truth is that they are also, in some cases and ways, akin to cotton candy. Cotton candy can be fun, but it ain’t chocolate. In comparing these two sweets, we find that one is for little kids, and yes, some bigger little kids might like the one for the kids, but everyone, even kids, can’t resist chocolate unless somehow they are allergic to it.

The point is that we can continue to listen to others about the things that we love to do, the things that we are supremely awesome at,  and listen to them about how they like what we have done…until they inject their “but” into it, and that is when we find out not what is in our world, but is in theirs.  If we have or think we have nothing to look forward to, ultimately we will have nothing that appears as though we can look forward to. If we are wise, though, we will see that those things we think are “nothing” are waiting to be transformed by us into “something.” We are meant to create meaningful “somethings” with the people who we share our lives and our times with, and with them we are also lending to the grander energy of purpose, of our singular mission which is paradoxically also collective.

…again….there are some of us here with us who simply just do not get it in terms of doing what they were and are still meant to do. They are not willing to believe that the things that they have lost fortified them to this point and brought to them many times and many chances to not only fix who they are and adjust themselves so that their own growth might happen for them, but they are more inclined to not even bother to look at what can be. We fear so much as it is, and then we want to add to that fear their own fear of failure and their own fear that no one will love them if they should happen to not be awesome at something that in actuality, they want to do, but are afraid they will not rate very high in terms of being able to use what it is that they have been born with.

I know of a whole lot of people who could bring a whole lot of happy to their own lives, and through that happiness brought to their own lives, ultimately they would also bring that same measure to the lives of the people within their awareness. The thing is, for a long time, we have been taught that we are the only one who matters, and that we have to take care of number one, and that is the truth, but there, in that truth, is another truth. That other truth is that our intent behind the energy is what the Universe responds to. Whatever energy it is that we are emitting we are surely going to have right back in our faces. It is the reason that I am always telling people to be very careful of what they wish for, that when they hope things will befall others, to be careful of their own intent behind it. I tell them to look further than only what has happened to them, and try hard to understand that what they have been through is terrible, but who they are is not. I remind them that what they have in their possession is not only a set of memories that will haunt them forever, but also that they can make it so that those memories will be like a gigantic research project that they can refer back to when the time comes and they start feeling like they are not worthy of whatever it is that they offer to the world.

Yes…not worthy…to give to the world what is their particular brand of goodness. I am reminded of people who are incredibly astute in business, who have a certain acumen for just being able to come up with ideas that no one else can (yup…always gonna be that promoter and that marketing ‘suit,’ even without shoes on haha), and unfortunately feel that allowing others into that thought and into that energy somehow will leave the person who thought them all up to somehow lose what they feel is theirs. What they are not thinking about is that the idea will always be theirs, and that no one else on the planet can make that idea come to life in the manner that they have seen it with their third eye, and they abandon any hope for such things to become reality. Then they go further with it, and blame other people for having gotten in the way and stealing not only their idea, but their energy toward that idea, and never will they see said such ideas live.

These people would rather take what has been given to them in terms of help getting to where they want to be and see where they can be, not use it all, blame everyone else in the world for their own self-created “non-happenings” and then proceed to drive other people crazy with their whining, with their “woulda-coulda-shoulda,” and with their all around stink attitude.

You can take what I have said here as being just another cosmic weirdo spouting about things that really, not a whole lot of people will understand without said such weirdos, or you can take it as a weirdo just giving people a clue about why it is that their lives are not as magnificent as they ought to and can be. No one said that being happy was going to be as easy as a few people make it seem. It takes work and self-examination of the soul sort. It takes being able to accept what is both good and “bad” about one’s self. It takes a lot of forgiveness of not thinking when thought was all anything needed, and it takes a lot of parenting the child who still lives within each of us and making that inner kid accept his or her own brilliance.

Yes, people have a hard time accepting that they are awesome. They don’t believe it because all of their lives they have been told that they are “awesome…but…” and to continue to believe that someone else’s big fat “but” is and should be the thing that makes anyone at all be all the them they can be is not the greatest place to be at all. It takes some doing to be ourselves. Really. It takes some doing to be able to no longer believe that what someone else told us is the truth. I say it a lot, that other people will have their own truths about us and that it is not up to us to try to change it for them by our doing anything at all. That is their kuleana, not yours. I say it a lot, that while it matters to us a bit, what other people think of us, it should matter more what we, ourselves think of us. If we know that we have certain things and ways of being about us and talents and abilities that we know are great, and will allow the opinion of others to steal away from us the shiny brilliance that we each possess, we are allowing someone else to control us with their opinion.

How insane is that?

How insane is it that many of us know that we have these things we are great at, and because one person who is not us, no matter who they are, is somehow not thinking about their own gifts in terms of lending to the greater whole of humanity at large, and they are more inclined toward taking and taking and taking and not living up to what their own words are, this is not a person who anyone should be listening to. In fact, send that person to me so I can tell them that they need to stop telling other people about who they are not and figure out who they are all on their own.  How insane is it that any one of us will listen to anyone at all about what it is that we were born with and that they might not have been and believe what they or anyone else will say about who and what we each are, not only to the world, but to ourselves?

Who gave these people the right to orate and opine who they think we are without first taking a look at themselves and seeing there what it is that they want to believe does not exist in us? What are these people so scared of, that they might actually have to live up to something called their purpose and their mission in life? What the hell makes it anyone else’s business what we will do with who we are, and why is it that these certain others want to make us miserable because they are? Why do we even bother to do anything at all anyway in terms of what anyone will say about us? It is not our problem to have to overcome. It is theirs. The reason they tell us what they tell us is because maybe, in all of that telling anyone within their awareness that those “anyones” are anything in life at all is because they, themselves, feel like they have nothing worthy to offer the rest of the world that is the blessing that they truly are. They have not been taught this, have not been taught that indeed, they have their own measure of greatness or that their own greatness is meant as something to be used to help bring out the greatness in others.


If you know who you are, and you know what it is that you are meant to do in this lifetime, dammit get your okole out there and do it…

…the world is waiting…

I Love You All !


Bring on the Happy !

One thing that lends to the energy of now is that people are struggling in a lot of ways, but the one way that we are all very well learned about is the one where we have worked at what it is that we do in our lives and have not been compensated for it…that is about to change…

Make no mistake – the life of a creative person who also has a brain in their heads and who has chosen to follow that creative spark, not only as the thing that keeps them sane but more, as the thing that feeds them…it isn’t easy. I know this one personally, and for a lot of years I made it all work. I wrote (still do), and I taught and performed dance (still teach), and I created artwork (still do this one, too), and in between all of those things I managed to live a pretty fun life, given all of the circumstances at the time I was living.

Yet, even as I know and knew that to choose to live the creative life, where it was and is that I am who not only creates my own life, but creates my own living through that creative means within me, that it would not be an easy thing to do in the manner that is being paid the money that I would be paid if I chose to stay “a suit” and in marketing and promotional event planning. I knew that the last “real” job I had would be the last time that I would be conforming, not only to what is acceptable in the eyes of the greater society in which I live, but more, within the community that is made up of who used to be the most important people in my life and who are no longer, because of who they are in relation to me and regardless of who they are in the confines of my life, able to be who they were when first the things and reasons that we were to know one another were apparent.

And let me tell you something, right now – there is no artist who will read this and who will not agree with me when I say that it is not an easy time trying to make your bills vanish and your money not. I am using money and bills and livelihood and the like to illustrate bigger things…in fact, I am using it to illustrate how the tide is about to turn for us, and no, not only us artsy types, not only us writing types, not only us professional weirdo types, but all of us.

All of us are about to realize what it is to be rewarded for all the hard work, whether it was on an emotional level and you had to heal from the things that were presented to you by others in your lives, or if it were that you were trying to create a life through a living which you, yourself and by your own hand created….whatever it is that you have been diligently working away at and whiling away the hours, days, weeks, months and yes, as in my case, years, putting forth energy and effort toward the things you want to do, the things you want to have, the things which you have set as goals and things that you have set as being a goal to reach so as to not have to deal with certain things anymore, regardless if they are people or situations or whatever…whatever it is that we each have put forth energy and effort toward, our rewards are about to meet us, and meet us in a very, very big way.

If you have put effort toward something that you have wanted, or a situation which you have asked Spirit to bring into your life, you are about to get what it is that you have put effort toward. And that is the key here – knowing what it is that you have placed your heart, soul, energy and efforts toward. If you have been waiting for a big pay day in some manner, it is upon you, right now, and you will start to see evidence of this being the truth very soon, if you have not already.

If you thought about it in the manner that is what it is that you do in exchange for money, and what it is that you are passionate about that you could or would do for money, and what it is that you chose to do in either regard and that has brought you many pleasurable hours but very little money, that is going to change and soon. I say this for a plethora of reasons and I say this for other reasons that are just really and dearly based in common sense. (That, and it helps a lot that I got confirmation of all of this from the Good Doctor herself – Dr. Loretta Standley, and her weekly horoscopes…you should check it out!)

I know that not everyone follows horoscopic prediction, and because I am a science geek who loves reading about things which happen to happen and why, reading the good doctor’s writings about what is happening up in the great big blue yonder, I found out that what we have been doing all this time is not only looking toward our goals, etc., becoming reality, but more, we have been actively, physically and in the real, building toward it, and a lot of us don’t believe that this is the truth.

Well folks, I promise – this is the truth. Most of what a whole lot of us have been through these last almost 6 years is nothing short of maddening, nothing short of miraculous that we made it through it all without having to do a whole lot of things in terms that suck and that we knew we HAD TO do. While it might be true that the situations which were helped to be brought into being through this sucky energy that we have had to experience are all things that we would rather not look back at to ponder or even acknowledge anymore, what we are also not looking at while we are looking at these sucky things are the things which were culled and mined out of the deepest parts of ourselves and that we now are able to have at our disposal.

Without all those things that sucked for us we would not have been brought here, albeit on the sucky scenic route, to where we are now, with ourselves polished and sharper, and our ability to reason at a higher level and with a higher vibration would not be what they are now. When our levels of such things are higher, and we are at a more pure vibration and that vibration is and has been geared toward things of a higher purpose and calling, and while we did not know that the things that were sucking for us were for a purpose, what was happening was that we were being prepared for what is right now and what is right now, if we all looked at everything as it is at this moment, still in a jumblefuck of what it is supposed to be when all is said and done, there is not one person who can tell me that what they have in front of them at this point is not something that is undesirable for them, for their life path and purpose.

While it is that we might have put in immeasurable energy and hours toward something that we, ourselves, knew we would have to create ourselves if we were to be able to get to where we are now, even if where we are now is nowhere near where we want to be, we have to admit to it that it is a lovely thing to be closer to it now than we were just a year ago. And if we thought about “a year ago” we would see where we have been in that time and we would know where it was that we lost a piece of ourselves and that the piece(s) that we lost, while it hurt to lose them, were no longer of any use to our purpose or our mission.

And really, that is what this all boils down to – Spirit preparing us for the thing that is our purpose so that we can carry out our mission.

It is the mission that we each have to carry out that also tells me that this is what is happening, that this is what is occurring for us all in the cosmos, and that the things that we have worked toward, no matter what they might be, good or bad or neither of these two things, no matter what…it is time to bring on the happy.

For so long we have believed too many gurus when they told us that happiness is easy, that it shouldn’t have to be worked for and that it just “is,” but those are easy things to say to anyone when you are a guru with a following and people who are willing to pay you to “guru-tize” them. There are the rest of us, the people who, as much as anyone whose timing was right when they set out into the world as their own guru, also have worked as hard, as much, as diligently toward their own ends and their own means to have whatever it is in their lives that they both want and need…your, my, everyone’s proof of hard work is about to start revealing itself to us all, and really, there is nothing that any financial analyst, nothing that any job expert in any field, nothing that any guru, nothing that anyone who is too lazy to chase their own goals, will be able to say in regards to things like this NOT happening.

If you have been waiting for the day that you can go back to college and have been putting in the hours toward that happening, keep your eyes open and remain aware, because you are about to get an education. If you have been trying hard to make your life become whatever it is that you want it to be in terms of things that no one else would think to be, you are about to have those things become your reality and there is nothing that anyone else can nay-say for it in hopes that it won’t happen – it is going to happen. No matter what. If you have been waiting for anything, have put forth energy and light and hope, and yes, Love, toward anything at all that you want to see happen for you and in your life and you have done everything that you knew you should have…hang on to your okoles, folks…

…you’re about to get straight paid, in dividends even…and all because you never gave up !

Of course, if the only thing that you wanted was for someone else to NOT be happy?

Yup…you are about to get that right back at you, in your face and up your okole, and here all this time you thought you were gettin’ away with stuff…


Remain aware and with your eyes open, guys, because very truly, we are all about to receive our just desserts….

…and really, I hope that yours are as awesome and sweet as mine have been since early February…





“Medicine Dance”

“Chick Wisdom”

…both coming soon to

Gorgeous Camera Artistry by none other than

Hawai’i’s Camera Artist, Randy Jay Braun

…ain’t nothin’ but a you thing, baby…

It seems as though, of late, with all of the current planetary alignments that we have happening for us all at the moment, that there still are way too many people thinking in a manner that is pointing fingers and not seeing what they are pointing as also being their own…

I am about to rant about something, and will do so without the raving part. Know now that I am not pointing fingers and that really, this is somewhat of an observation for me that I am seeing a whole lot of people pointing out the proverbial splinter in other peoples’ eyes without also seeing on their own why it is that they are pointing out anything at all about anyone else.

I would like to ask all those who believe that they have very little work to be doing on themselves why it is that you people seem to believe that what you are is the model and the standard for the rest of the world. When the hell was it that you were told that you are above all others, and when the hell was it that you chose on your own that whatever it is that you assume about other people and their motives were somehow their truth when in reality all you are doing is trying to point out things so that you do not look like a moron to other people.

All of us don’t like losing, and we hate not being right, but I have news for you all, folks, and that news is that sometimes, you are gonna just have to deal with the FACT that other people are going to live by THEIR standards and rules and not yours, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you live with the person who you are judging, and it doesn’t matter that you, yourself, would not go about whatever it is that anyone else is going about doing that you would not do the way that they are doing. That shit doesn’t matter. What does matter, though, is that you need to really think before you open your pie hole and start waggin’ that tongue of yours because really, you have not realized yet the truth, and the truth is that you are not the standard for anyone, at all, and you might not believe this, but you, at this moment, are not even the standard for yourself.

How sad.

Just because you …YOU think you know what someone else is going to do, it does not mean that they are going to do whatever it is that you want to believe they will…

…and the reason that you believe or even think or have the assumption that they are going to do whatever it is that you are assuming they will do is because you cannot see past your own self. I said it. Deal with it. You are so buried in the idea that to be wrong about anything is somehow akin to being the lowliest creature on the planet that you and others like you have set out into the world to seek these others out, simply and only for the purpose of your being able to believe that you are superior to anyone at all. You are not.

You are not better than anyone else, so you might want to check yourself prior to further wrecking yourself and think before you assume anything at all. Yours are the rules and the standards and the things that apply to you and you alone, and you have no right enforcing those things onto anyone else at all. Only a moron would think that they could bully someone else into what is not another person’s truth, but when you are involved, somehow, you seem to think that what you say is the gospel of Christ and well, dolls, not everyone follows that – or your – lead. You might not realize this much, but the things that you are doing that you keep telling all these other people is “for their own good,” are the things which are making people think and even know that you are a bully.

No one likes a bully, not even the bully.

When you do not get your way, and when someone else presents something to you that makes you eat the words you thought might curse your target, you get hostile, and you start pulling things out of your ass that make no sense at all, and the only thing at that point that anyone even gets is that the point you were trying to make is not being made, and the only thing that is real to anyone at all at that point is the fact that you are looking really, really foolish the moment that you have chosen to assume that you know what is best for anyone else, that you know what they are thinking and that most of all, you know that no matter what, you are the boss of them.

Let’s get something absolutely crystal clear, okay?

No one on this planet is the “boss of” anyone else, and if anyone reading this is going to take the guarded position of being the adult sized bully in the sandbox that is life, let me make you aware, now, that people like you are no match for people like me and the rest of the weirdos. You want to think that what and who you are is the model for acceptability, when in reality is only the model of what you, yourself, will accept from other people about you. That is really sad. The idea that what other people think of you is somehow your guiding force, is something that everyone needs to be excited about, when for real, it ain’t nothin’ but a you thing, baby.

Snoop …Dre’…and that G-Thang

Nope…I am so not switching teams here haha, but I have to defer to a song entitled “Ain’t nothin’ but a ‘G’ thang,” which was composed and performed by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, many years ago when my oldest was but a teeny tiny wee little thing. The reason for this song? Well, that is simple, and it is because the song itself  is all about being true to who you are, not caring about what other people think, and damned sure not straying from those truths . It doesn’t mean that I agree with what they have to say. It means that they are not willing to be anything that they know they are not able to, and more than that, you can go and do what you do according to who you are and not to what anyone else tells you that you are.

While we might not agree with the lyrics, or with what these two people portray as their own lifestyle, and while it is that some of us, myself included, might well become sick to our stomach based on the lyrics of a whole lot of the songs these two have written and produced, it does not take away from the thing at hand, and the thing at hand is that they are not willing to change for others, so others should just deal with it, but more, they do not expect others to change for them, as it should be.

This is lost on some of us, the idea that we need to live and let others live and be who they are and not think that we have all the answers all of the time, because our answers do NOT apply to anyone else, because everyone else’s rules do not apply to us, much as ours do not apply to anyone else. What no one teaches us through their example is that we have the option to not be a bullying asshole. Lots of times people want to believe that they have what is the right answer without thinking that the right answer is applicable to the person who comes up with it (duh).

And yes, I will go there, again, with the whole abuser thing, because they are phenomenal at making it seem as though they are the smartest person on the planet, and they are phenomenal at pretending that they are better than everyone else, and sometimes we get lucky and get to watch the show called “The downfall brought through Truth” and we get to see what happens to them that they said would happen to us.

We need, as a species, to learn to accept that we are not going to be right all of the time. As a species, we need to use our ability to reason rather than to always and only go with what is based solely on our gut reaction, even though our gut reaction is what is always right, so long as it is coupled with a lot of reasoning. That is the problem here, really, that not a lot of people realize that ALL of humanity has this awesome ability to reason and to think, and ALL of humanity has the choice to do so, but only SOME of humanity is taking advantage of these things and making their lives all which they are meant to be, which is nothing short of completely bad ass.

But, no one can be bad ass and will always and only be short of being so if no one is also willing to see things from someone else’s perspective. Even though we cannot truly see things through the eyes or the experiences of others, we can try. We can try to use our own method of empathy, and we can try hard not to be douche-baggish about things when what other people tell us is not in agreement with our own stuff, and from that, we will not have to try to cull from the ashes called “ourselves” the wreckage that is other people when we think that we know what they need.

…and guess what else?

We can’t know what anyone else needs if we are not aware of what we need.

We cannot fix someone else’s problems anyway, but we also cannot help anyone become aware that they have the same fixing thing going on that we have (yes, I said it…if you can see it, you ARE IT)  and really, the only way that we CAN help them is if we are bothering, too, to see what is there and in us that lives in them and that we can acknowledge.

This is lost on some folks. Some folks like to take other folks’ accomplishments and make them into somewhat of a joke, and they do this because they are threatened by another’s brilliance. Some folks like to think that they have the only way of getting somewhere in life, and that the only way to measure that progress is tangibly, and this is not the truth. What some folks do not get and will never understand is that the world is not ruled or measured by their personal measuring stick, and that they alone do not hold the or even are the very example of what anyone else needs to be or to emulate. Some folks want to think that no matter what, whatever it is that fits for them automatically is the absolutely perfect fit for others as well, and this is not the truth, either.

Some folks just need to worry about their damned selves, not be so inclined to compare or compete, not be so inclined to belittle what they do not understand, not be so jumpy toward the idea that what other people like to do somehow is not good enough by some folks’ standards, because the truth is that some folks really just do not get it in terms of other people. Other people are on this planet with us, and other people are going to be different than everyone else because guess what? OTHER PEOPLE ARE FREAKIN DIFFERENT AND YOURS IS NOT THE ONLY WAY TO GET ANYWHERE, NO MATTER WHAT.

You might have the answers for yourself, and you might even have an answer or four for someone else, as well, but there is no way that you have all of the answers. You cannot see past your own self, and lots of people cannot, and they prefer it this way to any other way, because the easiest way to not see what is in need of fixing that is within you is to not bother with knowing that other people are not meant to be told who they are, what they are or anything else about themselves because of you. You are not the reason that anyone is able to do anything. You are not the reason that anyone thinks in a manner that is anything other than about you, and really, you probably don’t want to know what it is that they are thinking about you because what they are thinking about you might not be the thing that you thought they were thinking.

You cannot be everything to all people, not when you are not even everything to your damned self. Besides, all your issues are not a “them” thing…it’s a you thing.

Again…I said it, so deal with it…






The Masks We Wear

No matter what anyone at all thinks, the masks that we each wear and show people as our truth of who we each are are the very masks which also exclude us from a most important truth about us – our own.

I say it often, that I wear many hats, but I have found that it is a much more comfortable fit without the mask of strength that I had very locked into place. It was merely a mask and one which I no longer wear because the very truth of me is that I am the model of strength. I have to be. I have been through way too much to not be. It is the gift of the Goddess, given to those who have endured, sometimes by choice, and a whole lot of times by our having no choice other than to just basically grin and bear whatever it is that life uses us to teach us with. In my case, I was taught the reality of what is, and what is not Love, in every form, through a lifetime of emotional abuse which led to almost the entirety of my adulthood in a domestically violent situation. The mask I wore throughout this whole time is one that was not a good fit.

Masks are not meant to be permanent fixtures on our heads

We go through our lives believing whatever it is that we are told that we should believe. We see it in every area of life, the idea that the masks we wear are the same as the proverbial hats we are donning at any given time in our lives. What we are not realizing is that hats are different than masks. I wear the hat of “Professional Weirdo,” sometimes, and all of the time, I am wearing the hat bearing the name “Kahuna Wahine,” but never am I required to wear a mask to do any of the things that I do, all of the time.

If you were to look in a mirror while wearing a hat, you would see there in the reflection a likeness of yourself which is the truth of you wearing a hat. However, if you were to don a mask, even while wearing said same hat, the image staring back at you would not be the truth of who you are, because the truth of who you are is remiss to even believe a mask is needed. You see, the truth of who you are is not what you are trying to get the rest of the world to believe is the real you. A person can work out, become the most cut-like-diamonds person that they know and anyone who they know, knows, and behind that person on the outside we might find someone there who is actually scared of not being what it is that they present to the world as themselves.

There is not even a tiny measure of what is true when we are talking about what is on the outside versus what we keep hidden behind the masks that we are choosing to wear. Referring to the cut-like-diamonds thing again, I will say, right now, that it doesn’t matter what it is that the rest of the world is looking at, because what they are seeing is not the real picture of who a person is if they are only looking at what is on the outside. What is on the outside comes from what is on the inside. If what is on the inside is something that we are not very proud of, is something that scares us or is something that we have created and did not realize that what we created is totally NOT the truth of us, hell yes we are going to not want to reveal what lurks beneath the mask which hides our truth if what we have been portraying and silently telling the world is the way we are and more, actually WHO we are.

We cannot hide who we are all the time. Truth tends to seep out when we least expect it to. If we are someone who is scared all the time, and we wear the mask of the tough guy, eventually the tough guy mask, provided that the catalyst to whatever the mask is hiding somehow is forced off by a shedding of tears or a raging of anger that tends to run off at the mouth, falls off. It has to fall off, because it is comprised of something that we cannot continue to think we can repair with the generic bondo known as what is not our truth. When the truth is what we need to know, and we choose to continue to hide behind what we think makes us seem to be the cat’s okole, but in reality, we know is NOT the truth, the mask, eventually, falls to pieces.

The mask is eventually found to be just what it is meant to be – a facade which hides the truth. What no one who chooses to hide behind their mask wants to believe is that no matter what, their truth will be known, no matter what it is, and no matter how it is perceived – the truth only stays hidden as long as we are willing to suffer what is the mask and all of its sweaty stuffiness which always causes us to gasp for the air, to try hard to breathe and to be, all while hiding behind something that we think keeps us safe from our very own truth.

Behind your mask is not where the safety of the truth is at

You can wear your mask until you feel comfortable taking it off, but in the time that will pass between the wearing of it and the shedding of it, while you might recognize that which is the truth of others, you will not know what is your own truth, and you will become short of the credibility that you, yourself, are trying so hard to have and to maintain, but it is difficult to do that when the hands that you are meant to use for the right things are holding up this mask that is covering up the things that you do not want anyone to see, namely you.

You might think that you are safe there, but it is almost like being in a nightclub where the bouncers really are only there to protect the owners of the club and not the patrons. This is the same energy that you will end up having if you are not willing to drop the act that you would not like if someone else were running this same game on you. You would not like knowing the truth of anyone else if what you believed all along was what you thought you could. No one likes being lied to, and no one likes being told something about anything at all if it means that they are going to end up looking foolish after the fact and after they have run their mouths about how great it is that you (insert way cool thing here) and then end up finding out that you had your mask on all along and that the cool person who you kept on telling everyone you are is nothing more than what everyone else is, too.

The thing which puts it all into perspective for us is when we have to deal with something particularly painful in that, when the painful thing started, that mask went on and never came off. It was like the one thing you thought you needed that you totally did not need. What you needed, you will find out if you have not already, was the ability to accept the truth, period, of anything, and about anyone, namely when it pertains to you. If someone else has a truth that pertains to you and it is not something that makes you look like that mask, people are going to start wondering about you, and then one day, they will not wonder anymore because they will know about the truth that you refuse to show the world. And really, the most beautiful thing in the world at all is the moment that we choose that the mask we have worn for so long is no longer something that is needed.

We get tired of the weight of the mask, and we get tired of the responsibility that we think we have to keep up appearances so that the rest of the world will accept this false version of ourselves. We never needed the masks. What we needed was the ability to face the truth, and in all of the madness that we humans seem to think is the right way and the right thing to do, we forgot that we were actually wearing a mask. We thought our mask was the truth of who we were or are, and that is the furthest thing from anything resembling the truth.

The truth is that a vulnerable you is a better version of the you who lives behind the mask. The vulnerable you is the real you, is the you who cannot take on anymore pain, and surely enough cannot deal with the weight of carrying the charade on forever. Some folks are awesome at the game of Charades, but that is just a game and in our lives we have to be able to glean the truth from others simply and only because we want the truth for ourselevs, as well. If we cannot see the truth, and cannot understand why certain truths exist, we cannot believe for a moment that somehow the mask that we choose will be the thing that will make us see what is the truth as it pertains to us.

When we bother with who we really are, rather than thinking that what everyone sees on the outside as being the only truth, we will know at that point the importance of being who we are, not for the benefit of the world, but for our own benefit. A person can run in circles trying to get people to take what is their mask as also being their truth. That same person can also and one day want to see the actual light that emanates from within them and that person will willingly take away the part of them that they think is the truth. This is a person who is also well on their way to their own Spirit’s healing, because of everything that we are each and all made up of, the truth is the one thing that we cannot deny and yes, it is also the very thing which in reality, we are made of.

We are all self-made in that, whatever it is that we think is our truth, this is the mask, or the reality, of who we really are. Who we really are is priceless and meant for a specific and grand purpose that only the Goddess knows about – we don’t even get to know what we are supposed to do until we are met with something or someone or both which will cause us to take cautious measure and don a mask. Some of us have to wear that mask for decades until one day, the mask cuts us off from the life-giving truth that is the air that the Soul breathes.

So pretty much…take the damned mask off already, and treat yourself to the fresh air called the truth.

No matter which way you look at it, the mask can either be taken off, or, one day, it will just fall off…and what will you do then, when your truth – the real truth that you have hidden behind that mask all this time…falls apart?

Think about it….

I Love You All !!




“Medicine Dance,” and “Chick Wisdom” – both coming soon to !

In the meantime, check out my soul brother, Randy Jay Braun’s camera artistry….click here and then on “shop” to visit the “Women of Hula” page!

Eventually, we stop

There comes a time in our lives when all of the crazy-making behaviors that we exhibit will come to a halt, regardless if we want to make them do so…other humans and more than that, Spirit, will only tolerate so much of our nonsense.

I wish I knew what compels some people to continue trying to hurt other people for whatever reason it is that they may have. I know that I have been through a whole lot in terms of someone else almost making me feel so useless and worthless and so, so…not important, to at least one person…that I really contemplated dying. It was not me, and it was never me, who needed to continue to try making life harder on other people just because I was so terribly miserable. That is not mine to do, and neither is it anyone’s to do, to make people miserable just because that is something that seems like we are allowed to do to others.

We are not. The fun part about this is that, for those who are enlightened to the reality of Karma and how we all will end up getting what is so rightfully ours and that which we so well earned, good or bad, not a lot of people believe that this is really what happens. Too many people want to believe that when they are trying hard to get revenge on someone else that whatever it is that they are doing is justified because their little feelings got hurt, possibly a long time ago, and for the life of them, because it seems as though that pain is the only thing they can call their own, they go about their daily lives thinking and believing that if they hurt someone else, that the someone else deserved what they got, because the person who is exacting their revenge hurts so badly that they cannot see past that one thing, OR past the thing, the person, the event that the person doing the hurting believes has exacted onto them.

When we hurt, it is never without good reason. If we allow the hurt to not do what it is supposed to do (teach us – NOT teach someone else what we need to learn that we have not yet likely learned or for getting your revenge), we will end up not only hurting, but hurting more, because all of the things that we do, think, say, whatever, without a doubt and for sure, will always come back to us and when it does, it comes back to us three-fold. 

Reread that and let it sink in – the real reason that things seem to just get worse on you, should you be the type who always want to exact your revenge on anyone else, and if it seems like the ones who you are trying to do this to are just not hating life as much as you are, well, darlin’ – welcome to Karma and the law of three-fold return. 

It is not a “law” that any one of us can do anything about, not a law that you can hire a lawyer to get yourself out of trouble from having broken, but a law that has been exacted by the Goddess herself and is in effect precisely to keep us all in line and keep us at least not trying to hurt each other.  If it were that my witchy friends were not adherent to this particular law, there would be no world where politicians get away with the nasty things they get away with. There would be no women on the planet trying hard to exact revenge on former abusive partners, no people who would be inclined to lie about past abuses and there would be no heart ache, and ultimately, no learning. We would all be fat, happy, sitting on our asses not worrying about being a better version of ourselves than we are right now.

Unfortunately, there are still a whole lot of people on this planet who do not believe that this is the truth. There are people who, for the very life and sake of themselves, cannot grasp that when any one of us even thinks those nasty thoughts of revenge, that somehow, that nastiness will revisit our lives. These are the same people who keep on doing stupid shit, who keep on strolling through life as though what they have done to other people is somehow what they deserved, and really, that is not ours to dictate what measures of comeuppance anyone will receive.

If you believe for one moment that you are untouchable by the Karmic energy that you created, let me tell you right now that you are also likely one of those people who continues to reply to all those emails you receive from someone in Ethiopia who swears that someone in that country wants to give you an excessive amount of money and that you will end up getting straight paid. To believe that the things that you have done to other people are just done and over with is also to believe that you have no sins to make up for. None of us is perfect. None of us is above having to take the same so-to-speak medicine that we offer up to other people with the idea in our heads that what they are being given by us they deserve and that we are the ones who are justified to deliver.

I promise you, you are not justified, but more like just-fried in the brain if this is what you believe. If you are the type of person who feels that your lifetime of pain must be made right by you handing down the proverbial hatchet to other people, I have news for you. EVERYTHING that you do, that you wish, that you have done, that you think you want to do, that you speak, that you send energy toward – ALL THESE THINGS CARRY YOUR KARMA IN THEM, and pretending as though you are clueless to this one thing amazes me because you cannot correlate all the shitty things you have done and see them as all the shitty things that are now happening to you.

Let’s look at it this way. If you spent your lives in church, lambasting those who are not of the same belief as you are, and if you spent your life as being one of those rich people who looks down on those who are way, way poor, if you are one of those people who feels like yours is the judgement which is meant, if you think that you are above anything that you have wished upon someone else, good or bad, get ready for hell that was created by you and you alone. Sure…you might have a little breather here and there, but for the most part, you will not escape what you have created for someone else. It will not happen. If you wish that someone else will hurt, you will also hurt. If you wish that someone else will lose what they have, you will also lose what you have. If you do things with the intention of hurting other people, you will also hurt.

However, if you wish for everyone involved in any situation, whether you like them or not, be blessed for their actions in service to others, this will come back to you. If you wish for someone who hurt you and broke your heart to be happy in their lives without you, you will also receive that same energy in return. If you wish for someone else to meet with abundance, you will meet with it as well…as you see, Karmic energy is neutral. Karmic energy is like a blank canvas in that it is what we place there symbolically for others that we also place there for ourselves.

When we think that we are getting away with something, no matter what it is, and things, good or bad, start happening for us and in our lives, we see the magic that is our own power at work in our lives. If we think that we are good enough for something, for anything, but the symbol of that one thing that we know we want is something that pisses us off, we have the right, the power, and even the Kuleana (responsibility) to see to it that we involve ourselves in that energy that tells us that what hurts right now will not hurt forever because in the right actions that we do now are the seeds of what is good or bad and in our future. If we want to exact revenge on someone for something that happened a long time ago, whatever it is that we see with our own inner vision is what is also going to happen to us. This is not my rule. This is something that we have lived with for as long as humans have lived and breathed, the idea of  “what ye sow, so shall ye reap,” and that is a very real thing.

When I chose to no longer live by the whims of the ego and chose to delve deeper to that part of me that hurt so badly for so long, rather than handle things how I had in the past, which was to get really mad, get on my keyboard and start shit with people and then ultimately see these people and start shit with them face to face, I found out that all of the things that hurt me so bad were gone and that I could not live in the past with all of its pain and all of the Karma that I had helped these people create with me.

When I chose no longer to hurt, to no longer blame someone else for that hurt, and when I chose to not look at what I heard versus what I might not have been looking at or had been paying attention to, I figured out that the catalyst for my hurt was over a long time before, but that the only one who was still living in that energy was me. The people who had hurt me had moved on, but I still had that knot of pain in me and I really wanted them to feel it, too.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was me who held me at that point, and me who held on to things that I did not need to, and while I was in control, I was allowing what they had said or done to make me believe that I had no control. This is where the foolishness begins – when we believe that we have no control, and really, we have none over other people, but we have it in abundance with ourselves.  When we finally can accept that maybe what we have been doing this whole time has actually been hurting us more than has the memory is when the healing begins.

When we choose to no longer hurt through our hurting other people, we begin to heal, and we are better able to accept where we have been and we can finally see why it is that we hurt so badly, all on account of something that we can no longer do a thing about, because it has already happened and that alone is the biggest indicator that we are no longer in control of certain things, of certain situations and most of all, that we have never really been in control of other people and that we have allowed ourselves to be out of control with ourselves.

Our biggest indicator that we have come to the point where we are now out of control of and with ourselves is when we feel like everything in our lives revolves around our making someone else, or more than only one person, miserable, like they owe us something or that somehow, we are the ones who have the right to make them miserable. This is what has been, will remain to, will never NOT keep a person bound by the energy that they hate, but that they also are the ones who are creating. If you hurt, it is not up to you to make anyone else hurt – it is up to you to make YOU not hurt, through the kindest means that a person can think to, so that you never ever have to live with that feeling again. This is the real shit right here, folks, the ability to rise above what has happened to us and in our lives. This is the thing that divides us from the animals – our “only mammal on the planet” ability to think and to reason. No other creature on this planet can do it – only us humans.

Which makes me wonder why it is that anyone at all would not ask themselves once in a while if what they are doing is really doing more than just making things worse on themselves, because the reality is that this will pass, and the other people will go on about living their lives, and those who walk around with a pounding thought of revenge in their heads?

They get to walk around letting whatever someone else did, or said, or didn’t say or didn’t do, probably a long, long time ago, be what is in control of them and of themselves. The leash that is control over others is not a leash that we should be too proud, eager, even inclined to keep hold of, for the simple fact that that which you tie yourselves to (pain, hurt, anger, etc) you really DO bind yourself to that energy, and that alone is enough to not allow anything good and that would bring us joy and would not bring anyone else further bullshit to their lives.

That alone – the idea that our controlling someone else actually has them in control of us – should be well enough for ANYONE to just simply let go and see how much nicer and more abundant life can be. All you have to do is LET IT GO and you will be just fine…

I Love You All !



MEDICINE DANCE coming soon to

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