Monthly Archives: January 2013

January 30, 2013 – A Message from Spirit

Auhea Wale Ana ‘Oe…Please …Pay Attention…

When there is about to come in to our lives change of great magnitude, I am prompted by Spirit to deliver the Divine Message that She has for us…so please, understand at this time that while they are my hands typing this message and while it is that these are the words which also come produced by my thoughts, very dearly at this time, my thoughts are not only not my own, but are the very channeled and Loving words of the Divine Creatress….please kokua…please assist your self with this message, for it is a Divinely Timed and Planned message…

“Auhea wale ana ‘oe….please, Children, do listen with your hearts and your souls, and allow that which is within your Self be seen now, for now is that time in the collective lives of mankind to see in one another all that you each are. Do not judge that which you do not understand and cannot comprehend, and it is of paramount importance that you each heed the thoughts and the synchronicity which is coming to your blessed Humanity at lightning pace. 

Change is upon you, and the changes, while they are not comfortable, are needed, for all of mankind has a shared purpose, in Aloha (Love), and in Peaceful Unity (Lokahi), and there are a great many adjustments to be made, singularly as well as collectively. It is time now to release all that you have as your painful memories, and time now, too, to forgive that which is within you each that has yet to be forgiven, for all of humanity is prepared to walk the Path of Divinity, but no longer alone, and instead, as One. For it is that The One is The One of the Whole of the Human Race, and it is a sad testament that throughout the course of your lives you have all chosen to go the way of the Ego. You did so because this is what was expected of you all. You did so because that is not only what you were taught, but was also the lesson that you were expected to learn and did. The time has come, now, to release those thoughts and release the pain and give it to Spirit, for it is within those thoughts that you have been borne to this day in the manner which you have been, be they Loving thoughts, angry thoughts. Whatever the case may be, these things are meant, for they are that which will lead the whole of you to your Higher Calling. Your Higher Calling is your Kuleana (responsibility) and your Kuleana is many fold. For many lifetimes collectively you have taken on the color of that which is not you, is not the truth of you, and you have carried that weight for far too long now. The time has come to release yourselves from that burden and know, too, that Now is the only time that any one of you has. 

Now is when you will make the most crucial decisions, and now you have all those same options before you that you have always, but Now, those options have taken on a far greater meaning than ever before, and yes, you are meant to know that no matter what you have chosen you will have also made the concreteness of that choice permanent in your awareness. We beseech you to please do not shun the Kuleana. Be Wise in your choices, for they are the very stepping stones to your own Greatness. Humankind has shunned, for centuries, its collective greatness. Now is the time that all these things, these choices and the start on the Path that is your own, matter. They matter so very much for the time at hand is greatly awash with the mixture of elation and fear and confusion and apprehension and it is so because you have made it so. You have spent your entirety of Knowing thinking that there has to be a winner, has to be a loser, when in fact and in truth, there is nothing for anyone to win or to lose, and only that which you each are to Be. 

You must be willing now more than ever to release your fears and be out in the world, giving your Truth to whomever will have it and Know it and Bless it as the Gift which you each have for your Tribe and the Greater Whole of the Tribe of Humanity.Know now that regardless if it is accepted by others, that it MUST BE accepted by you each and all, in a singularly yet, paradoxically, collective manner. You are meant to be as One Wholeness, even as you each remain the singular representation of the Love that Is Spirit. The Love that Is Spirit is that which all are privy to, but mankind is still “of the Ego,” and due to this, there are many who are not aware that the changes requested have been made and there are those who still resist this. You resist because you are not aware that you have been guided to this place in your Lives so that within the confines of those Lives you will be able to Bless others with your lived representation of The All That is. 

You must choose, now, Children, to Live up to that which is all of Na Mamo, all of that which is of The Chosen and of The Cherished, for this is what you are, this is Who You Are, and this is the Truth that Is. It is a Kuleana that the Whole of Mankind asked for, and it is now upon you, and there are many who still turn their eyes away from the blinding light of the Truth, for theirs is still the comfort which resides with the darkness that is within each and every human being. You have pandered to the whims of the Ego far too long, and it is because of this that you cringe and you chafe at the changes which you, yourselves, have asked for. It is not as difficult as it might seem, and at the same time, it very well is. It is because you have chosen it to be, and it is because the hard way is the only way that all of mankind has proven itself to believe is the most worthy way to see the changes and to embrace them.

We come to You as a meaningfulness to the changes at hand, and it is our hope that you all will seek the answers which come to you in the ways that are most noticeably apparent, even and especially when that apparent nature is of the sort which you cannot define with your limited human thinking. This is the time that the thoughts that you have had, the dreams you have chosen to build, and the life that you have each chosen to Live come face to face with everything else that you have all thought, dreamed, feared, wished for, dealt with, Know, and it is good,even as for some of you, it may have been and will remain to be painful. You are being asked to release the pain, release that which is most familiar to you and embrace the newness of that which is upon you all. Embrace the evolution that you are each singly and collectively experiencing, and know now that those things in your lives that make you cry, make you angry, make you “Soul Sick”…all is meant as a bigger part of your Grander Purpose and all is meant for your proper growth and more for the growing into of things that you cannot fathom as being part of your awareness at this time. 

Your awareness – it is what is going under the most change at this time, and it is because you all, for so long, have paradoxically known and seen what you must do and chose always to remain with those things which insulted your soul and gave meaning only to the pain without your addressing the very healing which has been collectively requested, over and over again, and when we heeded the cries in the night, you listened, heard, but you were not able to understand what the message was. The message is different but same, and it is all Love, all healing, all pure, all Light, and we ask that now, in this moment, that you remember who you are. Remember your place in the Universe and remember that even in your imperfections you have been made perfect, not in your eyes, but in that of Spirit’s. Spirit is why you are here, in this awareness and Spirit has endowed you each and all with the very Light from the Soul, and it is a Divine Energy, and one which at this moment on Earth, is dearly needed, not to be kept so that your ego has yet one more thing to cling to, but more, is to be shared, even in this, what you see as its own unpolished and imperfect form. Your human eyes cannot fathom that these things that you see, that you hear and know, as being anything other than that which is harsh and that which hurts the Spirit but most assuredly does not crush it, for the time that was that was the intention of the masses to bring hurt and harm to your Souls is long past and most assuredly, verily we say this to you all, that the time, the hurt, is now prevalent in your eyes and in your minds because that is where it has been kept and embraced for all of time that has been. You now have the awareness that you no longer have to hold on to all of that, and you may, at your option, choose to release yourself from the past.

Learn to forgive, for in those times that you have accepted, let go, surrendered, you were made stronger, more perfect and it was a Divine and Sacred Moment, not only in your own human lives, but more, in the collective lives which are shared by all of humanity as the very collective whole that you are.

…remember that you are Love and that you are Loved…

(..And with that said…)


The Soul’s Code

Do what ignites your Soul…you’re supposed to anyway…

“When you engage in work that taps your talent and fuels your passion – that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet – therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul’s code…” (Stephen R. Covey in, “The 8th Habit”)

So, here we are, the “all of us,” and there are a whole lot of people who have lost jobs over the last decade and that whole lot of people can be divided into two parts – the ones who seek their own Soul’s Code, and those who have chosen to live with and in the loss that in my eyes, is not truly a loss but rather and only another space in life where other, better fitting activities can be – better, more Soul encoded activities, that is.

The Code of the Soul

Whether you believe it or not, what we do for pay is very connected to what is in our Soul, and it shows through the manifestation of things that we can either think befalls our lives and makes our lives what many think of as hell on earth and ends up making us physically ill, or we see the losses as being the measure by which the Soul has finally found what it is that it needs us to do in order for the world to see us as what we are meant as.

Human beings are taught to see losses as a negative thing, but my thinking is that anything, when thought about, has the potential to bring us out of the darkness and squarely in the presence of our very own greatness. It is when we were more willing to keep on doing what it is that we are doing and hoping for different results through the same efforts that we employed that made us experience the sensation of proverbially running around in circles. Human beings are also taught to do things “just in case” (thank you Melody) and that is where we go wrong (and to find out how that happens you should really check out my friend Melody’s Deliberate Receiving Blog because she has a blog post about exactly this one thing).

It is in the “just in case” that we are already planting in ourselves the very seeds of doubt that we are trying to dearly not have to deal with anymore. When speaking in terms of making our lives what they are supposed to be we sabotage ourselves when we are not willing to build within ourselves the possibility that what we see with our mind’s eyes is totally possible. We do not realize that what we are seeing are the beginnings of what it is that we want in our lives. We are too afraid of what could happen that could make the thing that we want so badly not happen, but what we do not realize is that we have more than only one chance to have that thing and that when we limit ourselves with “just in case” we are not only slowing the reality of the dream being possible, we are planting seed of self-doubt and that is when we have to feel the pinch of things that we want NOT happening the way we need or want them to.

The Code of the Soul is simple – do what you are meant to do. I know, I know…it is hard to think that the thing that you see in your head and in your dreams is actually the thing that you are meant to do. It is hard to pinpoint that much on its own but once it is that you have been able to make sense of the reason why it is that you so badly want to do that one thing, and once it is that you see with your own two eyes the thing that you are meant to see, it all becomes a lot easier to know, and more than that, far easier to believe.

There’s that…Belief thing…again…

What are you willing to believe about your self, about your life, about that one thing that you do differently than a whole lot of other people do? What are you willing to tell yourself is the very truth of you, and what are you wanting to see in your own life? These are some of the questions that I ask people who come to me looking for some sort of semblance of the truth of them, and what starts out as their asking me for a way to streamline their lives ends up becoming a coaching session – several, most of the time – that has everything to do with the clients’ finding out that while they know they need their day job, it is not what they want to do. So when I ask them why it is that they have not yet found out at least one thing about their own day job that they can see themselves being able to keep doing because of, we also find out that this is something that they have been feeling and thinking for a long, long time and that it was only that moment that they finally realized that the reason they keep hatin’ on their day job is because they are not fulfilled through it.

We are taught to believe that it is good to work, and it is, but the onus is that we are taught to work at any job for the most money that we can and that even if we hate the job we are doing the money makes it all worthwhile. This is a big fat lie. This is where the idea that if we are given enough reward that we will do anything, that we can be bought and that as long as the price is right we will do anything at all. This, too, is a lie, and it is a lie because even though I know that I could walk into any strip club here in my area and be hired immediately, and while I know that I could make BANK, I know better that I would never do that sort of work, not because I think that there is anything inherently wrong with it, but because it is just not the thing that I care to do. While the money might be awesome, there still is the thing about if whether or not I like what I am doing.

There is nothing in this world that is more damaging to the Soul than to continue to do things that we do not want to do. If how you roll is that big dollars talk and that the only thing that matters is that you are working, and those big dollars are the reason that you would take such work, then of course that is where you are going to be happy. However, if you are the type who, while you are making those big fat dollars, can daydream the time away about a new thing that you do that is special and specific to you and your ideal of doing what you have to do so that you can continue to do what you like to do, then keep on daydreaming because that thing that you want to do will only be made more grand in the idea that you want to do it so badly that you are willing to do what you have to do in order to get there.

Do what you have to do while also doing what you Love to do

I Love to write. I Love being an effective communicator. I Love being in front of a crowd and speaking to that crowd about the things and activities that make my soul sing. I Love being able to tell those in authority positions that abuse victims need more in the way of protection by the law and I Love networking with people. More than that, I Love helping people learn more about themselves, and I love helping people find the Spirit which resides within them and I Love making sure that those who seek my help learn to develop their own sense of awareness about their own lives and how they fit into it. My entire livelihood is wrapped around bringing people and communities together. This is what I do best and this is what part of my own claim to fame, if you will, has always been about.

Yet, I would not have ever been able to know these things about me if I were not at one time a marketing rep, if I were not an editor, if I were not a staff content writer, if I did not do all the thing that I had to do in order to do things that I love to do. And I would not have known that I really loved the things that I now do if I also did not have those times in my life where I knew that what I was doing at the time was something that I did not want to do with the rest of my own life. I would not have had the example of what was not making me happy, not making my soul joyful, not making me be all that I am today.

If I stayed with the wrong belief that the jobs I had held onto when I held onto them were somehow not meant to teach me about the wrong beliefs I’d held about what it meant to tell people what I “do” for my pay, I would not have known that it takes a lot of patience, and lots of drive, lots of persistence, and most of all, it takes the love within for a certain thing to mean enough for us to want to turn it into what it is meant to be, and only we alone know for sure what anything is meant to be at all.

It is the mission of the Soul that we do what we are meant to do, and each of us knows what we are each meant to do.

So…what are you waiting for…get out there…go do it!!
Your Soul is waiting …

I Love You All

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

You have to be who you want in your life..yeesh!

Since we mirror each other, it is safe to say that in order to see it in your life you have to be it in your life…duh…

If you want good people in your life, then you have to be a good person, inside and outside. There are no ands, ifs or buts about it – that which you want to have in your life, namely the people there, always show up in our lives when we have the thought in our heads that we want them there. When they get there, in our lives, this is when the fun begins because the thing that we thought we wanted to do with those people turns out to be something that we totally did not expect.

The things that we totally do not expect are to see in them the changes that we need to go through. In my case, and I am very willing to admit it, I am vain. In fact, just saying that I am vain is so an understatement that if it is at all any kind of indication that when I say that I like looking at myself in the mirror, when I tell you that when it matters I am constantly checking my clothes, my shoes, my self for things that would constitute as my being somehow less than all I want to believe that I am. And all that I believe that I am at this point is not a bad thing at all, but with my vanity level being what it has always been, sometimes, it is an issue. It is an issue because I know that what a woman looks like is very much a part of her very own personal power, is part of her wiggle and her walk, just like her giggle and her talk, and there is no man alive on this planet who has met me personally who does not recognize just how dearly I know this one thing. I know that what a person is seen as at first is the very thing which gives flavor and strength to any kind of interaction between people.

So, it often makes me wonder, from time to time, why it is that people are not seeing in others the things that they need to change about themselves. One such thing is our ability to see who we are by not seeing it in someone else, and more, the person who we used to be in other people comes out shining and screaming like so many crazed loonies who have somehow wandered off the Path (gotta love Pink Floyd, right?). I wonder why it is that we can see what is in other people so well, and why, too, it is that when we see what is right there, why do we also not see that there is a lot of ourselves in those people, and the more that we look the more that we will be shown the areas of our lives that need improvement.

Haha…in my case? Yup…that vanity thing…

…but hey…at least I am honest about it…

Yeah yeah…I know..I know…Vanity…it is a sin, but there is not a lot that is not sinful, and in that one thing that I know is my greatest downfall I also have seen the Truth of me, and the Truth of me tells me that there are a lot of things that I have been told in the past about me that I know just from looking at others is not the truth. More than that, because I am in their lives at all, it should tell them, too, that what was is not the Truth of them either, but it is just not something that they can see as something that they would think is somehow an issue for them, and it is like this because for a long, long time, it was the only truth they knew as their own.

The only Truth that a whole lot of people knew about me, and more, that many still only know about me, is what I look like. They are the people who have met my Leo Rising but who have not gotten to the Pisces Sun and neither the Taurus Moon in me, and it is because I won’t allow it. I will not allow people to get in, to get past the Lion at the gate, and it is because even as we mirror a whole lot to one another, it is the underlying motive that is not the same, at least not that we know of, and it is the underlying traumas that are still alive and well within us all that breathe beneath the facade of me and my Lioness and her roaring.

Yet even this is not the only thing that we mirror in each other or to each other. In other people we see just how really very screwed up we really are, if it applies, and more than that, we also see where it is that we can improve. Lots of clients have told me that they just find other people so they don’t have to look at their own ugliness, but that doesn’t help or solve anything. In fact that does nothing at all for us or for them. When we are more willing to only see the ugliness and not also the beauty in a thing, we are most highly present at that time to see just what we want to, and what we want to see there is not going to be seen because the only thing that we will choose to see is what is hurting us.

In my world, what is hurting is the idea that I see so much around me that it is impossible to believe that to an extent, I am the ugliness that I see in others, and by this I mean that I am able to become that ugliness, that I am able, too, to wear it as well as I have in the past. In the past I was the most insecure person I knew, and it was all because while I knew what I looked like, I also knew that there was more to me than only that, and I pursued what else I knew was there. It took me a while to figure out that I was not a pompous ass and that I didn’t have to be an intellectual snob, even though that is what I turned into. Someone referred to me as being the very most perfect weapon known to mankind…or rather “male-kind” and it is not just because of the outside, but because at the time, I very much was that very, very intellectually brilliant albeit very, very snobby about it, snob. It took my losing what I thought was real to learn that what I had in material was not me, but it was my stuff. I was told that my stuff represented who I was, but I knew the truth.

I knew the Truth, and so, too, should you

If anyone is taking heed to this, at all, then please, take these words to your heart and know that I am only telling you my own truth.

You forget every time that you are meant to aspire to the greatness that you really are, and this means that the greatness who you really are is not measured in how much stuff you have, in how many people you know, in whatever it is that thrills you that is on the outside of you. The way that you aspire to be all the great that you can be is to seek out those things in the people who you surround yourself with and see in them the things that you are. If you know me and you have seen me and you have known that I am every bit as real as I am telling you that I am and have been for a long while now, I want you to know that you, too, are as real as it gets, but I want you to think about if the truth of you is the truth that you like to see. I want you to know that things that repeat themselves do so because you have not yet learned how to deal with them and that is why these people who you surround yourself with and who you find in your presence are there – to remind you of who you are, and sometimes, they show up to remind you who you WERE.

And if who you were is acceptable, then that is on you…it simply means that you cannot handle more than what you have….

Be the best mirror to others that you can be…

The bottom line here is easy – be the best person who you can be, that way those in your life who you care about will always have the best mirror to see themselves with. This is not that hard unless you somehow like being in the middle of things that you are not responsible for having created. If you see yourself in others and what you see there is not okay with you, and those people are there and you keep seeing you in them, you need to ask yourself if you can do anything to not be that way anymore.

Whether it is a a depravity, or perhaps you are like me, secretly…okay, NOT so secretly incredibly vain and not scared to let people know it…whatever it is that you know you need to work on, no matter what, that is what you need to work on…what’s the problem?

What are you so scared of…being the best you that you can possibly be?


Oh! Yes…I know..because it takes work, and working on ourselves sucks. Working on ourselves sucks because it means that we were not finished, and that no, we are not perfect either. Working on us means that somehow, we are not complete, and we are not healed, and most of all, we are not whole. If we are not whole, we cannot possibly be the best mirror that other people have to see themselves with. If we are willing to not see what is there, then we are willing also to make up our own reasons as to why it is not we who have to change, but is someone else. If we can see that other people need to change, and since it is that we are mirrors, what does that tell you the truth of you really is?

When I say that we are mirrors, I mean that and mirrors do not lie – they are mirrors. Mirrors are the things that make us know who we are from our own perspective, but when it is that there is a mirror that tells us something about us, and it is something that we do not like and do not agree with, the beauty is that we do not always have to be the reflection looking back at us. We can change it because we have seen what we are in someone else.

If what you have seen in me is something that you want to see in you, I thank you. I thank you because that makes all the nonsense that I have endured over the idea that I actually like what I look like these days as not being such a bad thing at all. If you see in me the thing that makes you run like hell in the other direction and away from me…well…haha…I’ll be back…that much I promise…

Running from me….hell, running from anyone…that just means that you already know what you are looking at and that yes, you should be scared as hell because good or bad….

…you are looking at yourself…I Promise…

And good or bad…it is this way for a purpose, a reason, and none of it is bad…but this doesn’t mean that while none of it is bad that none of it will be uncomfortable. Seeing the self in others and knowing that we are mirrored in the souls of our peers is scary. But it is scary in a way like no other, because either way…

…it is the truth of us….


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

HEY !! Show my girl Lady Spitfire some Love

HEY !! Hang with me Feb 1st in Pomona and see my friends, the Weezer Cover band PLEEZ-HER

HEY !!!
YEAH !! YOU !!!


Our Integrity affects EVERYTHING in our lives…

We cannot operate honestly or efficiently if we are without our integrity in complete and full tact…no, really…

I was asked if this was a “chick blog,” and no, my answer to that ridiculous question is an emphatic “NO!” it is not. What it is is a blog that will make a person think about things in a different light in regards to the things that they do in order to reclaim their power, and today’s post is very and most definitely about the starting point of where the loss of that power begins. I have to say that I am vehemently disappointed in the things that I see happening, but more than that  I have a bone to pick with my Sisterhood of the damned world and yes, it has EVERYTHING to do with those great little magical powers that we think we have that makes us do things that we otherwise, no matter what, would not do.

While I will not detail what those things are, because they are many more than only certain things, I will surely go into detail about the effects of allowing your level of personal integrity become second to your mission at hand. If your mission at hand is in any way at all of any measure of importance to you, then you very dearly need to read this, take it to heart and know for sure that if you are not getting where you think you need to be in life, and more importantly, if you feel that you are not manifesting all of the things and ways of being and situations in your life that you feel you are deserving of, I have one thing to say to you, and you ain’t gonna like it.

It’s your own damned fault

If you decide that trying to manipulate other people to get what you want out of your life, and you are depending on these other people to get you to where you need to be and you are without regard for the things that they tell you as being their truth and you ignore them and their warning and you end up ass hurt or heartbroken, please…save the drama – it is your fault that you hurt and it is this way because you knew the truth. You knew the truth and you went ahead anyway and you opted to think that you could change the situation by manipulating it to be what your own rose colored glasses would let you see.Not only that, if there were other people involved and you knew their truth and you also know your own truth, the onus is on YOU! I promise you it is.

If you think for one second that what you are being told is NOT the truth, then you are reading people wrong and you have to go backwards in order to go forward, because you chose to go backward in the first place, putting yourself and your soul and most importantly, your level of integrity, up for grabs to the first person who would take you up on it, and when I say “take,” I totally mean EXACTLY THAT. When you operate from a level that insults the very core of you and you knew better all along, you are the jackass, not the other person or people – just YOU.

Once you pander yourself out like you have been doing the only thing that happens at that point is that you begin to see where else it is that you can take what you think you see even as you know what you heard is and will remain the truth it becomes MUCH easier for you to lose your focus and that is where the idea that you have taken a step backward to go forward comes into play. When you deal with ONLY your ego in mind, you are dealing with your lower self and your lower self does not give two shits about what your Higher Self needs you to know. Your Higher Self needs you to learn to put yourself in the position that you have put someone else in, and have what is called Empathy. Empathy is the ability for a human being person to place themselves into the thoughts, feelings and the awareness of someone else, and if you are not able to do this and to do this with the idea that no one is taking anything away from you or who you are, I am sorry but all the Spiritual Coaching that ANY coach can give you will be all for naught because you chose to go and find out what you needed to and still went and did the stupid shit you were already doing.

I ask you – how the hell is that supposed to help you? How on earth does anyone believe that doing all those …soul-crushing…things that please the ego and the body help to give the Spirit the means it needs in order to move ahead in life? How can anyone POSSIBLY even HOPE to become all they are meant to if they are willing to leave one foot in “I Don’t Know,” and the other one in “Hell yeah! Let’s get this party started and let’s start seeing our lives change for the way way better!” ??? HOW???? How can anyone expect better when you are not willing for it to be that way by employing all the strategies you employed in the past that DID NOT WORK THEN EITHER? HOW THE HELL CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE?

I knew a guy…I say knew because that guy is dead now, and while it does not serve him right, I will say that it served me with a good understanding of what it means to live with a sense of integrity. That guy used to sell his wares and did so with the idea that he would be able to make a run for it with his customer’s money, and that dude decided not only to get mad at people when, after so many times they’d seen through his bullshit, actually blamed them for what he had taken advantage of. This is my best example for what happens when we take advantage of people and we have the option to NOT …of course, you all know I told him…I told my departed father-in-law on many many more than only one occasion that just because he had the opportunity to do for himself what he knew was legal to, that just because it was legal, it did not make it right.

I cannot imagine what it must have been like for him to have died without making that Karmic debt right, at least through the idea that he could have called those people whose money he played with and that they ended up just more broke in the end because of. This guy did this as his general practice in business, and yes, sometimes, in his life as well. While I am sure that there were times that his intentions were right, the man always knew that he was not living nor operating his business as he should have, and his health suffered because of it. His health suffered to the point of no return, much like his son’s health has done – all because they …the both of them…when it came to money, they had no…NO conscience about it, and knowingly hurting people just because they know where you are coming from is one thing, but to knowingly know where they are coming from and knowing their story and still moving forward with the wrong set of intentions is just bad, bad juju…bad magic, if you will.

It turns out badly for all parties involved. My father in law never learned how to operate from the truth nor the middle of the soul of integrity, which, by my count, is where life and business are meant to meet. The same goes for healing from anything. If you are only willing to cover the pain with other things that will eventually hurt someone, you are not operating from integrity and that is just not okay.

Not just a sense of Integrity, but a very strong sense of Integrity is what is needed by us all

Listen up – if you are more willing to pander to the ego’s sense of what is good, and if you are more willing to allow that you are not at fault because someone else has made a choice that benefits you but – and without their believing so – only takes from them …I am sorry, that is not integrity. That is bullshit, and yes, I have the right and the experience to say so.

No one deserves, regardless of how they present themselves and more, just because they put it out there, to be used. No matter what, that shit comes back and it comes back with a vengeance. The things that we do not want others to know about us always ends up being well lit, and if we live with our Integrity fully intact we also reap the benefit of never having to explain ourselves to the people who mean the most to us. If we are more inclined to be the kind of person who is “everyone for themselves,” then most assuredly we will also be on the receiving end of that energy whether we like it or believe it or not – that is just the way that karma rolls. And if you think that your Karma will not be affected because someone else just gave you what you think is free and available, then you have bigger issues than you are willing to confront. This is where the real fun begins…

The “real fun” ain’t really fun at all…Karma is always a bigger bitch that I can be, than anyone can be…no, for real…auhea wale ana ‘oe…seriously – PAY ATTENTION!! Yeesh !

The worst part is when someone is knowingly taking advantage of a situation and knowingly getting themselves into a position where they know that it is going to be harder than hell to extract themselves from, and that is when the damned soul stuff starts, because at that point that person will know that they themselves have put a big fat monumental DENT in their own Spirit and a dented Spirit is hard to heal from because not only are we healing from our own dents but we also have to heal from the dents that we placed onto other people. That sucks. The dents that we help put on other people comes in the thought form that even though we speak with our mouths, it is our actions which count the most because the truth is in the actions…and the words?

They become unreliable, because what is happening is the exchange of energies and I repeat myself always when I remind people that energy does NOT LIE! If you are aware of your own, then you should also be aware of the peoples’ who you are dealing with, no matter if you are dealing with them wrong, or right. It doesn’t matter. If you are willing to put yourselves into a position that makes it easy for a person to be taken advantage of, the wrong is yours, and theirs, because while you are saying one thing and even physically meaning one thing in the action-taken sense, while your side might be pure, the other person is confused as hell and yes, you had a lot of the energy that went into that.

If I am told one thing, and you show me something else in your actions, I may not know your thoughts, but I know mine. If mine are telling me that you said one thing and did the opposite, and if the thing in question is something that is very important to me, and I keep on going on, trusting your actions rather than your words, I promise you that you are going to hurt me. This is the same for everyone. If you are told one thing, and you are thinking that what you were told is the truth, and then you see the person who told you the thing do the EXACT opposite of it, and you know that it is going to be something very important to you, and you are hanging on to the energy, the hope that the other person’s energies are not lying, you WILL get hurt, and won’t that just suck some serious okole, right?

Right. And you know I am right.

The Very Real Sense of Disappointment 

Along with the entirety of what you are doing to your own self and your own soul, you can really only imagine what you are doing to the other person’s.

They will suffer real disappointment. They will believe that they did something very wrong. They will beat themselves up. They will return to the things that they have done prior to all the work that they have done. They will hurt. They will pine for whatever it was they thought they had. They will think that there is a way that they can fix whatever it is they are feeling, and the way that they will fix it is to revert back to the only way they know how to, and normally that is not the way that they want to but it is the only way that they can recall would be what would take the pain away, even if taking it away is temporary. The pain they will hurt from will be real to them, and the pain that you have caused them will also be real to you and will cause you a very real Karmic debt that, no matter what you say or do, will be repaid and there is nothing that you can do to stop it from happening. And you know already because I say it a whole lot – this is not my rule, but that of the Universe.

They will hurt. You will hurt. They will have guilt. You will have guilt, and if you don’t, then you will be in for a seriously huge and ugly surprise when the Karmic debt calls to be repaid. No debt goes unpaid. Especially not the karmic kind. Somehow, Spirit always gets Hers. Always.

The things that you each, no matter how many souls are involved, whether it is 2 or 20,000, did, said, and thought will come flying back to you in large ugliness and you will be lost as to how you got to that point, and at that point is when the disappointment will set in. Once the disappointment sets in, there also comes with it the fact that all the work you have already done thus far will have to be done all over again, and the biggest disappointment?

You mean you don’t know? Holy crap…

Holy CRAP !

The “Holy CRAP!” moment is not the moment that you knew you were doing things not exactly aligned with your greater purpose – nope. The holy crap moment is when you sit there, in your self-imposed ick, and realize that indeed it could all have been not even dealt with because you could have just taken the right option to begin with. Either way, whether you are the one offering the thing that is wrecking your integrity, or you were the one taking a horrible advantage of it, either way, there will be guilt, disappointment, anger and self-doubt. I say self-doubt because after all of the options you took end up not being the right ones for your life at that time, you will start to doubt your own ability to make the right decisions, not only for you, but for everyone. And that really is what having integrity is all about.

In business and in life lived, we must know for sure that we are operating always from the middle of the Soul. If we know that we are true in our own intentions, and we know that we are ready and able to take on the kuleana of the thing that we helped someone else being, feel like, whatever, and we know that we can do so without the idea, the leftovers in the back of our heads that we know we did a wrong thing, not so much to another person, but to our own selves and to our sense of integrity, this is when we know, too, that we can go ahead with what it is that we have opted to do.

When we know that the people involved are not completely whole, not healed and in need of some sort of guidance, and because of our own Ego’s needs, we go forward with the thing that we KNOW is not the right thing, and we keep on giving ourselves our reason as to why our ego thinks it is fine to do, I am promising you NOW that it is not fine to do, and you know it is not fine to do, because if it were and you were totally okay with it, you would not bother to give a reason as to why it is okay with the other person. I am telling you that it is not okay. It is not okay to allow someone else to hurt and it is not okay to believe that what we are doing to, with, for them is okay, at least not …NOT if we know the truth and the entirety of the situation which is obviously in your face for a reason, and the reason is totally not what you think.

So, with that said, to my global sisterhood…please…refrain from using your Soul as the thing that gets you ahead in life, and yes…you know what the hell I am telling you – your “Soul” …and you bet your okole that your Soul is connected to that one thing that you keep on using as currency.

I have but one thing to ask you…are you fucking SERIOUS? What? You ain’t worth more than pretty words, promises that it ain’t gonna be what you want it to be?

Wow!! That’s okay with you?

It would so not be okay with me, but I guess to each her own, right?



I Love You All…no matter what…

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

What if this person were your (fill in the blank)….

Auhea wale ana ‘oe…please, pay attention…

This blog is not intended to be one which touts the benefits of feminism. No, this blog is about the human side of having a dream in life and having the desire to see it to fruition. With that said, I would like to address those in our midst who are in law enforcement, who wield the judge’s gavel, who are meant to be the hero in the middle of the night. I am calling out to those who are in the position to shape young minds, and I am calling out to those very livelihoods depend on their ability to bring together creativity and knowledge at one time. I am calling out to those who work in the local hospital emergency rooms, and I call out to those of you whose livelihoods depend on a knowledge which is specialized and meant to be the salve of the wounds we all suffer, literally and figuratively.

I want you all to think about your own daughters, your own stepdaughters who are actually daughters which you were blessed with the gift of helping to raise. I want you all to think about their safety and what they see everyday in their own homes, and I want you all to think about the men who are influencing their young minds and lives and beliefs. I want you all to know that right now there is one of you whose daughter will become someone else’s victim, and that someone else will live in the same home as her, might share children with her, and this person will have her safety in their hands. Now imagine that this person decides that he will control her subtly, at first, and then with full and forceful intention that she will obey him, or she will have to endure a bit of suffering, and yes, it can and has a great chance of getting physical. Now think about these things that your imagination are telling you are wrong, and think about the point at which your daughter came to you and told you that she was being abused…and now…think about the fact that if someone didn’t prod her to go and tell someone the very moment she could no longer bear the emotional pain she suffered, let alone the constant fear of being in the very line of some other parent’s kid’s sight and is now his or her abuse victim, that no one would ever have known without getting the phone call from the ER, the sheriff’s department, or worse than that, the coroner’s office.

Think about it in terms of your own emotions, and how you recall her when she was a little girl and she was scared and how awful it was to hear her cry – about anything, so imagine this same child who is now older, and in some cases, still legally a minor, being afraid of someone who she has come to trust, and even though her fears shake her to her core, she still cannot imagine how this happened, and how it happened, or that it happened, and she cries because at this point, she believes that she is stuck. She makes excuses and then one day someone sees it, and it is bad, and she, your daughter, is now more afraid…because no matter what you tell her, she is going with him, not because she loves him and will take his abuse, at least that is not the reason anymore, but more, because she knows that one way or the other, she will be found, and when he finds her, he will coerce her family and they will buy it – they don’t know better, and she goes, out of fear, not only for herself, but also for the people who she loves and depends on the most. Then imagine that she leaves and goes back and leaves and goes back, and it keeps happening, and her reason for staying is still the same – it is safety, not love, which compels her. (I Promise). Now, and you can say to yourselves, “No, we would NEVER do that, ” but I promise that it happens, and did happen, yes, even to your loved ones. And you turn them away because you can no longer bear the pain yourself.

And this goes on, in some cases, for many years…far too many years, and it is all out of fear. It is scary when someone tells you that they are going to hurt you, and horribly terrifying when you think about the things that you have been through and seen and know, and you wonder how you made it this far without being put into the hospital for a while…you wonder. You wonder if you are ever going to be normal, because you know that what you go through is not normal because it feels like it is the very most opposite thing from normal.

While I will not elaborate about what else has happened in my own life, I will now make the call to everyone and anyone who is willing to read this, to share this and to pass it on, because there is always going to be someone who needs to know that everyday our daughters are being put into harm’s way, and it is all for the Love that we are all meant to want in this lifetime. Yet Love is not meant to hurt or scare us. It hurts when we grow from it and hurts only for a little while, but this is a hurt that needs more attention paid to it. And it does not only affect teen girls and women, but also men, and that is the biggest hurt of all, because men are taught not to hit women, but they are not taught how to deal with abusive ones. This is the crying shame that is the reality of abuse, not just in this country, but seriously, this goes on everyday right in your own neighborhoods. If what I have shown you here makes you mad, then it will make you more mad to know that the laws are not adequate enough coverage if those who are meant to enforce them at all levels are only doing the barest minimum. If you are only going by the book and not getting creative with the power you hold and wield, and you are not doing what you can in order to not only make it more severe for the attackers than to make it less-scary for those who are being abused.

Please, I beg you, listen to the things that you are hearing and ask questions. The power of the words we use, and the power of the written word carry more weight than you know, and it is in the power that you hold in the lives of people in your community that can be of more and better service to those people who call your towns home. Our daughters already know that it is hard to be a kid, let alone a girl in the world, and really, for all of our toughness, we still need your help and we still need you to listen to us when we talk to you. We need you to know that it is hard for you all to imagine that when you leave us at the ER, the safehouse, our relatives, that these abusers are going to come and look for us, and that while your job with that victim is over with and the paperwork signed and attested to, that victim still has to return to that house to get her things, or his things, and they still have to depend on the words written on a piece of paper, which, even as it does what it is meant to for the most part, there is still always going to be that one person’s daughter….

I was that one person’s daughter. I was that minister’s daughter who paid attention in church and got decent grades, had lots of friends and loved her life. Then one day this same girl had to grow up over night…

I had to.
My life depended on it.

It is not okay that domestic abuse still happens, and regardless if it is physical or emotional or both, we need to be more aware of these things and we need to know and believe that this is happening, but more than that, we also need, more than anything else, to believe that even though we might never stop it all from happening, we can, instead of making it less-scary, easier to help victims become survivors. I know what these people go through, because I am a survivor, and I am concerned that there are already too many people on this planet who would be able to say the very same thing.

Unfortunately, there are also as many, if not more, whose voices have been silenced by what they were told was the sacrifice we are expected to give for love.

I am pretty sure that dealing with the toilet paper roll not rolling out the paper the right way is a sacrifice. No one’s life needs to end, no one’s voice needs to be silenced in the name of sacrificing ourselves in the name of Love.

…but for real…

All of it…all true…

Please ….please pay attention…

Auhea wale ana ‘oe….

I Love You All !

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved. 

It ain’t your birthday – you cannot have your cake and eat it, too

You cannot have your cake AND eat it, and in this case, I am not sure why you would even want to!

Want to eat it, that is.

Hello… I am Roxanne and today I am here to serve you your own okole on a plate if you can see yourself in this blog at all.

Yes, I am pretty angry right now, and it is because, once again and due to my believing and desiring and wanting more than anything to help someone else understand things about themselves, and because I just have such a great depth of hope for and faith in others, there are times that I am disappointed by someone who has come to me in search of at least some sort of semblance of what can be called the Truth.

I deal daily in words, in the Truth as it applies to the whole of us, and the Truth as it applies to the whole of us is not the Truth that we know is the Truth (that mankind, for the most part and even as we are starting to get a clue, is in need of some acceptance of the Truth). More times than not we want the truths that we seek diligently to also be the Truth that will apply to others as it applies to us and our lives. We want other people to see things the way that we do and we want them to not argue with us about the validity of their Truth being valid to them as much as it is that our own Truth is valid to us. This is the paradox, the ickiness – that we have our own lives and other people have their own lives and while those two lives may meet in the middle and appear to be the same the Truth is that the two are no where near the other in terms of energy, and this is where the ass chewing begins.

Two Worlds. Two Feet. Two Ways. Twice the Lesson…but…

To whom it concerns- shame on you !

Shame on you for judging what someone else is going through and shame on you for not being able to bother to even think that you are recognizing in someone else the same thing that exists in you. If you are able to see someone else’s weakness and name it, this means that it is alive in you. If you can pinpoint what someone else is going through and are willing to judge them instead of telling them that you can relate to their pain, shame on you. If can see yourself in someone else and you are still stuck in the energy like they are still stuck in the energies and you have the very nerve to tell me about their issues while you are still in the same issues and you are willing to give out what you think are the best solutions for someone else without your being able to also think that maybe the reason that you are doing like you are doing and NOT paying attention to yourselves telling me how to do what I do best – shame the hell on you!

Shame on your judging someone else, and shame on your not even thinking that maybe you are meant to hear your own words because even as they apply to the other person they also apply to you, in more ways than one. That which you see in others also lives in you, so if you feel like you are privileged enough to tell someone else how they need to change themselves – and more than a lot else I hate telling anyone this- but that you can see it in them means that it IS in you and that the message and the lesson that you are giving them at that point is not only that they need to grow, but more than that, you do as well.

Once again…

Once again, (and in some cases…again, and again, and again…and again…) if you are able to see it in someone else the guarantee and the only guarantee that I EVER give to anyone is that it lives in you as well. If you can see something that bothers you in someone else, it means that on some level it is there and alive within you. Deal with it in you before you try to deal with it in someone else, because while you are trying to fix them, you are leaving yourself unattended to. Leaving yourself and your soul unattended to is like leaving a baby in a grocery cart unattended in a parking lot the day before turkey day. Spirit work is not easy, and the things that we find out about ourselves is sometimes not the nicest, namely when we recognize it in someone else and more, when we figure out and accept that it also is alive and well within us,too.

I said it. Deal with it, not because I said it, but because it won’t go away til you do. This is the truth. Deal with it.

Why oh WHY?

Why is it SO hard for people to believe that they are good enough to be everything they want to be? Why is there such a problem where there are changes that need to happen but that we are all so danged scared of what might happen to us and who we are and who thinks what of us that we are more willing to stay the same as we ever were and then have the nerve to blame the way that we feel on someone else? This is not to say that I have been blamed for other peoples’ stuff, but the truth is that whenever we seek out consult from anyone or anywhere, the thing that we have to remember to never forget is that there is the part of the lesson where you come in, where your stuff is seen and where you have to look at it and not only think about why it is there, but that you also have to accept that this is the ugly in you. No matter what, it is yours to accept, and I promise you that once you have accepted it – no matter what the ‘it’ is, you will feel like your soul has taken flight and that now…NOW you can move forward.

Yes, it really is that easy…the accepting part…it is the work involved that people don’t want to do, and it is the changes that make us cringe for the idea that on some level we are more inclined to not make for fear of the fact that when we change anything about ourselves, there is a guaranteed loss – a loss of a sense of the self as it was…the loss of the idea that we fear that the people we love the most will not understand why we felt like we needed to change…the loss, essentially, of the ego’s control over a certain area of our lives, and that certain area of our lives is the one place that we will always have to see to, always have to stare the demon down, and always, no matter what, take into account the idea that who we are now, who we are going to be tomorrow, is not the same person that we have been just yesterday. Evolution of the self is not something that can be done overnight. It took all of us a long time to get where we are. The moment that we know we need to change is the very moment that our evolution, our growth, begins.

This Very Moment is Crucial

This very moment is that moment that I tell all my clients about. It is that moment at which each and every one of us looks at where we are right this minute and think about all that which has happened that brought us to right now and we ponder the idea that we were somehow not even thinking that maybe we were taking two steps back.

You were never taking two steps back, and what stops us is the idea that we have already been where we do not want to be, and where we want to be is not that far away because the reality is that where we want to be depends on our inner world. It is the inner world that directs the outer world. When the outer world sucks, it is because the inner world is trying to let us know that it sucks for a reason and that the reason can be tiny or giant, depending upon your own thought about it. You can see the hammajangs as being a big fat problem, or you can see them all as being part of the process of elimination, and what you are eliminating is NOT the self, but is the false self. The false self is the part of you that prods the ego to be whatever it tells us it is that gets us into the tough spots that we find ourselves in from time to time. The false self is the part of us that makes us feel like we have anything to prove to anyone at all. The false self is the part of us that tells us that we have to do more to be more, and the false self is the part of us that makes us believe that we are never going to be good enough.

It is also the part of us that prompts us to go in reverse,even as our gears are in fully forward mode.

Stop running in reverse already.
It’s hard on you. Just because you are used to it doesn’t mean that it is meant to keep on being done.

Seriously…just sayin’…stop wasting your own time – knock your crap off and stop being scared of everything. It is easier to be afraid of things one thing at a time, so that you can see that things are not as scary as you believe them to be….


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

HEY ! If you wanna be heard on a online station that plays ONLY independent music, try and tell my girl Lady Spitfire that I sent ya ! 

You should buy my books !! No really…click here ! 
A fine buncha whippersnappers, if I might say so myself…buy their CD !! 

…lest we forget…nah, we won’t forget that PleezHer is a Weezer cover tunes band and lookie here!! They have shows ! You should try to go ! They are pretty cool !

Not a Chapter, but a Brand New Book

There comes a time…

There comes a time in everyone’s lives when they know that the crossroad is right in front of them and now they must take one of the options which is there – to proceed and go forward with a new Life, or to remain and stay with the Life we know right now. I opted for the new Life.

Welcome to this new book…to hell with a chapter. “Chapter” denotes that it is the same book and that the story is still the same story. I am a writer. I have written several books. And this new “book” is called the second half of Life for me. It is the same second half for many of us. However, there are some who are reading this who are no where near the second half. All good…new books are written all the time, and just like I opted for the new story and the new book, so can you.

This blog used to detail the many emotions that all abuse victims deal with. Then it became the soapbox upon which I would hurl my vitriol to the world. … but no more…no more vitriol, as the world is no longer in need of yet one more venomous person.

This Blog

This blog is meant to be seen as the thing that makes us all know our own greatness by being able to see the greatness of others. In my own life I have watched many people go from “in manifest” to “in reality,” and these are the very people whose Fire in the Belly is the largest, even as their means to get to where they have arrived thus far were primitive in some cases, and in every case there was the spark of the flames that were stoked with the very compassion within them, through their own Fire, their own losses, their own detours, their own options and heartaches that they turned into the greatness that is sparked by the things that break our hearts, that take from us the things that make the very most sense of all, and for the most part, were left, or so they thought, with the shell of the reality of who they are. Little did they realize that the things they have experienced was the Fire of Spirit refining them so that they may shine brightly like diamonds, might be able to wade through the ocean of uncertainty and come to the surface brand new.

This blog is about personal power, is about taking the glimpse of Heaven that comes with the visions of hell on earth and turning them all into our own personal power items.

Personal Power Items

I am a minister….Kahuna Ali’i Wahine in manifest, if you will, and I know the meaning of the energy behind each of my own Items of Power. Included in this collection of personal oddities are many sea shells, crystals, and trinkets …even golf cart keys….regardless of what each of them symbolizes to anyone, they are each special to me. Each item did not end up as mine without its own personal cost… beliefs I’d held for far too long, Truths about me that were not mine, and things that symbolized the Path upon which I trek at the moment, and at the moment the Path which I trek is a storied one. It is filled with tragedy and heartache, and as much, triumph, magic and Truth. It is these intangible things that make the tangible things mean that much more to me. They are indicative of the power that lies within me and me alone that is the Power and the Magic and more than that, the Miracle that is Me.

These personal power items are not meant to be magical talismans, and their magic is only held by me and in my own thoughts and my own inclinations. Their magic is the magic that I have put forth into my own growth and my own life so as to have them as a constant reminder of who I am and who I have always been, even and especially when who I am and what I am is in manifest. And the truth is that we are all “in manifest,” all on our way to being all who we are all the time.  That alone is magical in and of itself.

The purpose of this blog…

That is easy – the purpose of this blog is to fan the flames of change and the inspiration to seek your dreams in a big fat way, to bring about the spark needed by us all to look within ourselves and see there that there is indeed something there that we need to give to the world as the gift that we can only give. It may be that you want to do something with your life that is meaningful, and my mission with this blog is to help you never to lose that desire, because it is in the desire and the intention that we have in each of us that compels us to do greater things in the world and to be the end result of Spirit’s refinement of who we are after having walked barefoot over the coals and through the Fires of Life.

The Fires of Life are those things that make us feel our soul as it bleeds out the pain. The Fires of Life are those times when we cannot bring ourselves to believe that the thing that has happened in our lives has happened, and while it might appear that there is no hope, if we bother to look at the thing that seems to be eating our lives from another angle we find that it has a new appearance. We find that there is another way to deal with it. We find that the Fire was not without reason and we find, ultimately, the spark and the intention and the desire, not only to also find that healing right there where we left the pain, but also, our very Selves.

My Own Fire

I did not come to this place of forgiveness, of being able to look at a thing from another angle without help. I had help, and without the help…yes, I would still have gotten here where I am now in this time in my life, but the Path would have been a lonely one, to say the least. It is not an easy Path, to heal one’s self, and it is not an easy trek, the trek to Wholeness, but it is well worth all the slings and all the arrows and all of the everything that I went through just to be able to sit here, no longer in my Jesus Christ Pose, but more, in my own Light and my Own Soul and most of all, My Own Self.

My story is simple. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse, and rather than sit in my pool of pity I chose, this time, to do things the way that I am supposed to – I opted to go through the Fire…to get counseling, reach out, make friends, tell my story to others…and in the year that has passed I have found many things within me that I knew were there but that I was too afraid to let the world see. I was scared to let the world see that I am smart, afraid because for a long time I equated “smart” with “intimidating,” and the two are no where near being the same thing. For many years I felt that what I had to offer the world was not good enough for human beings to know about, but then my thoughts changed when new people showed up and told me that I was wrong about being wrong about me. These new people …some of them not “new” but in a sense they were, at least to me, because of the time that had passed….told me that I was wrong, that I am truly magnificent and that I have so much to offer the world and that I really needed to let that light shine through because my end of the world needed to not be so dark and scary and that yes, I was just the very person whose Light was brilliant enough to not only share, but also to help others become empowered by it.

My own story is like any other abuse survivor’s is, but the end is not the same, because I am writing the rest of it as the days go by. I would never have imagined in a million years that I would write books and inspire the masses with my words. I would never have thought for one moment that it was my gift, the Aloha within me, to give to the people in my world, so that they might have that moment in their own lives where suddenly the pain makes a little bit of sense and now since they have seen their own story through the Light of another they too can go on out into the world and live their own version of the Prayer of Jabez.

Jabez translates, sort of, to “pain, sorrow,” and biblically, the Prayer of Jabez tells us that Jabez told God that he would like it if Spirit blessed him and to enlarge his territory, meaning that he needed God to bless him with the means by which he would be able to go out into the world and do his Jabez thing, and that is what this blog is all about – gettin’ out there in the world and livin’ out your own Prayer of Jabez. The Prayer of Jabez, at least and since it is that I am translating it and giving it to you all in the “N.A.T.” (New Age Translation), our Jabez Prayer is in the book of 1 Chronicles, verses 9 and 10...” …we are more honorable than many others, and since it is that we, like Jabez, were brought through pain borne by our mothers, we can look to Spirit and say “I thank You, Great Spirit, for blessing my Life, for enlarging my Tribe! Please Guide Me and continue to keep me out of harm’s way so that I may go out into Life and Share my part of its goodness…” and Spirit heard and blessed the Child…”

My own story caused me to want to reach out, to want to heal, to want to know what it was and still is that makes me be the person who I am, and more, makes me be all who I am, all the time. This is not just me telling you all that you can do anything that you want to do with your life, but that you can do anything that you want to do with your life and that yes – you can do it big and grand and large and call it yours…and that is my aim with this blog. I want you to see and to read with your own eyes about the amazing nature of the Human Spirit when it is coupled with the Soul of Love and the intention of going out into the world and being amazing people. I want you all to realize through recognition that all things are possible if we allow them to be and that everything that you see and sense in your head is the truth of you and that if it is an ugliness of truth that you have the option to change that Truth and make it something conducive, not only to your life path, but more, your own Soul’s purpose.

My own Soul’s Purpose

When I walked the walk of the Firedancer and slowly prodded over the proverbial coals, I had no clue that it would be the start of my Life. That was almost 5 years ago and 5 years ago I was not this person. I mean, I was, physically, but I have walked dearly many times over the hot coals, danced through the Fires of my own life, through the abuse, through the losses of all things material and most of the people who were such a large part of my life during the acquisition of those things. I would not change one thing about the things that I have gone through, because without those heart aches and without all the uglies and the things that made me cry so many tears, without all the shame caused by victimization, and without having experienced the things that I did, I might not be here to tell you that daily I see the flip side of that pain, and that daily I am granted yet one more chance, through the people who come to me for guidance, for the soothing of the pains and the fires of their own lives, one more chance to stand in front of a group of people telling them that there needs to be change and that no one deserves to be another person’s victim…

This is my life now. This is the life that, through those Fires and all those tears, I now live. While I might, to those who spend their time with me and who are a dear part of my Tribe, be all the rock and roll snarky chick they all know and Love (I Love You Guys, too…and you all know who you are), they also all know that my greatest wish in life is not that I realize all my materially tangible dreams, but more, that they also do. They know that if they are seeing the fruits of their own Fire Walk, that they are now on the other side of the hill. They know that there are always going to be Fires in Life, always going to be that opportunity to walk the Flames and Coals again, and now they also know that it is the very Fire upon which we each walk that makes us Shiny, refined and brilliant, like Platinum when the light hits it just at the right angle.

My job as a minister has, through the Fires, allowed me to branch off into other areas of ministry, including Speaking Publicly to those in official position, telling them my own story and how more needs to be paid attention to when they are called to do what they are tasked with as law enforcement, telling them that they need really to not tell an abuse victim that they can just leave, because just that alone can get a person killed….there is so much that a whole lot of people just do not know, and yes, I know that at least in my own Life, I am just the Chick who is meant to tell them that there is so much they do not know and so much more that they can do and that truly, all they need to do is view it all from a different angle…

All True.

Now, I am willing to bet that there is at least one person reading this who has their own stories of days walking the line, of the heart burning and the very Bones of the Soul alive and well with the flame of intention, of Love and of things that only one person is meant to be the thing that ignites the Fire in the Belly….

Betcha I’m right….and I am betting, too, that you now are more willing than ever to not see those Fires of Life as just one more reason to pitch a bitch…I bet now you can see the endlessness of who you really are, all in the reflection of the pain borne by you as you go through the Fire of your Life….


Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved. 

Petals of the R.O.S.E.
(an absolute must for teachers of Spirit)

 My dear friend, Cynthia Occelli…Goddess Extraordinaire !! Buy Her Book!

Another way to look at things…

While it won’t take away from the pain of our losses, we can look at them differently if we should take the option to…

“…lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through…I can’t complain but sometimes I still do. Life’s been good to me so far…” (Joe Walsh’s “Life’s been good to me”)

I will be the last person to tell anyone else how to deal with their losses and expect that the way that I deal with mine they can also deal with theirs. That is not giving other people their birth right of grieving, of being angry for the losses they have incurred, for being in the middle of a hurt that they could not have imagined coming to their lives. Not one of us on the planet does not go through some sort of loss in our lives. Sometimes those losses are torture, and sometimes those losses just plain old suck and are a pain in the rear end.

All the time, though, those losses serve us up with the option to do something about the pain, and by doing something about the pain I do not mean that a person needs to go out into the world and numb their pain by replacing the loss with some other thing…like overindulgence, addiction, self-mutilation. By doing something about the pain I mean that in that pain we have to think that there is a message in it for us, we have to believe that in that pain we are meant to grow forward, to show our Light through it all and still be able to lift our head in the morning knowing that we have a purpose in this lifetime and fully knowing that even though we have suffered any loss, Spirit has us. All of us. We have to know within us that there is a big giant reason that we have to experience the big giant losses, and believe it when I say that in this last month alone I have been blessed with people who have experienced losses so big and so …gnarly…that to believe that any of them could have fathomed that they would be able to deal with their own pain in a way that blesses the world, including and most of all, blessing themselves…while I will not call it an impossible thing that they have turned their grief and their pain into the beginnings of a beautiful work of Soulfulness, I will call it a Miracle.

Miracles….the other thing that “happens”…

I have been witness to a whole lot of miraculous things happening, and this past week was not an exception. I saw a new client turn her brand new pain into something delightfully gorgeous in nature and totally giant in terms of Aloha. I watched over the last few months a client who is now one of my best pals turn himself from a mass of inner turmoil to taking the steps he knows he needs to in order for his life to become all that it is meant to be and it is a beautiful thing. I have watched yet another person, also a guy, go from being a target of verbal slings and arrows into the Soul Warrior that he was born to be. And the miracles, they just keep on happening.

The Miracles keep happening, and it is awesome to see that there are people who know this about themselves, and if they do not know this there are folks like me who are too happy to let them know that yes, indeed and in fact, you, me, we all are the Miracle waiting to happen, all the time, everyday. This might sound like it is crazy, but in the losses that we each suffer, big or small, temporary or permanent, lie the seeds of our own greatness.

The Seeds of Our Own Greatness

I do not even want to begin to compare my own losses to those of others, because my losses can be replaced, but there are people who read this blog who I know well of their losses, and their losses are huge and varied. Yet, it is in those very losses that we find the very seeds of greatness that beg to be sown so that the fruits of those labors can be seen, can be witnessed by all, and can be taken as a blessing that these people who hurt so badly can rise above their pain and their agony, become one with the thing that could have eaten their lives but the thing that would not be allowed to do that.

In their pain and in their struggle to feel something else, in their struggle to make sense of the loss, and in their striving to do what is right and best for their own lives, they rise. They rise like the very Phoenix from the very ashes which were caused by the fires of life. Yet they do not realize that in that fire they were made stunning by God. In those fires they were refined and made ready to be all the gift to the world that they were meant to be. These people…those who have been refined by the Fire of their lives…these people are the ones who have been called upon to be the leaders among us, for these have been the very ones who have fought their way back to wholeness and while they may not be completely and totally whole and healed at this point in time, they Know in the Bones of their Souls that they are going to get there and that they are going to make their lives the living testimony to the beauty which is borne, sometimes, from the losses.

We can only deal with so much before we are brought to a place inside of us that calls upon our ability to stare the pain in the face and stare it down, make it bleed and make it crumble like it made us crumble. We all strive for that, strive to make that one face, not to the rest of the world, but to our very selves, because sometimes, most of the time, in some cases all of the time, we are our own worst enemy and we are the very thing that causes the Miracle to be delayed in some fashion. The truth is that it is not delayed, but that it has fruitioned into something that we cannot understand, and again the process of refining us through the fire begins, and soon we can see in that fire the things that we dearly need.

The Fire

We are brought by Spirit through the Fire of Life, and it is so because we are meant to grow in this lifetime and are meant to be the very example of the All That Is. We are the representation of Life itself, and through us all are the lessons that are meant to be held true to, lest we bear those lessons again.

This post is not meant to be taken as my lessening the constant and throbbing beat of the pain within. It is meant to show all of us that through the fire we are meant to be made brilliant, meant to, at the end of the lessons at hand, shine brightly like the Sun even though on the inside the only thing burning, it seems, is the constant and ever glowing fire that rages. We rarely know what to do with that fire, with that heat, and most of the time we allow it to simply burn us, and eventually, we burn out.

Take this as being the thing that you needed, the catalyst to the healing of your own wounds and the utilization, rather than the quelling, of the Fire in the Belly….

Learn that you are not burning from the Fire, but that you are being made brilliant in the heat of the flames, like the purest of Silver, and being made more the beautiful Soul that you are.

It does not take away from the pain within…it merely makes it shine brilliant and gorgeous like so many diamonds.

So, shine on you crazy diamond

I Love You All !!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. If you would like information about “ROCK your NUPTIALS” Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

We Love You, Lady Spitfire! Lady Spitfire and RULE!

Hey !! Go to the PleezHer Show !!! Two Dates!! Come on…you know you want to ! 

Just sayin’…they are totally rockin’! Check ’em out and sample their music by clicking here
Hey…ya know…your own banner can be right here…all you have to do is email me and I will hit you right back with the details!! 

Tough Enough…

For those who are still clueless…

“…I’d put out a burning building with a shovel and dirt and not even worry about getting hurt…ain’t that tough enough?…”(“Tough Enough,” by The Fabulous Thunderbirds)

There is a myriad feeling of people finally getting a clue, and at the same time there is a cluelessness that permeates that screams of the Ego feeling its way around us all collectively and while there are plenty of us who “get it” in terms of what is happening at this time on planet Earth, there are a bunch of us STILL who are just choosing to be clueless rather than electing to roll with the changes and have instead chosen to remain clueless.

Here is some news for you all…all you clueless people who actually have a clue – choose to get THIS particular clue already, would you? Choose to know that the options you have been given only look like they suck but in reality they contain the very lessons that you need in order to grow forward, contain in them the things that you need to learn about your damned self. Yeah…I know…it is so much easier and way more comfortable to just stay like you are. I mean, yes, you made it this far in life, and yes, you did so unscathed, and yes, you have even managed to stay within your right mind through it all, even though you questioned your own right-mindedness over and over again. Yep, you can stay like you are, and still feel all the “ugh” that you have been and still have to face, again and again, that one thing that keeps rearing its head to you and that you just refuse to look at and take on. You keep running away from the change. 

Stop running already. You are wearing holes in your shoes. 

You can keep on running…

You can continue to get your Forrest Gump on and keep runnin’ and runnin’ and not care to stop. Yet if you keep running you are going to deplete yourself, and if you deplete yourself you are going to wear yourself down in every manner you can think of. If you wear yourself down in every manner that you can think of you are not going to have the strength and neither the energy to pick yourself back up and run in the right direction. 

The right direction is the direction that hurts and sucks most of the time, because the right direction leads us to that place where, whether we realize it or not, and no matter how much it hurts and sucks for us to be heading right into what we think of as being our own personal hell. Yet, it isn’t that at all. It is not a personal hell if what is there that we refuse to look at is something that we have turned our attention away from, and the reason that our attention keeps getting drawn to and repelled away from the thing that we run away from is because that one thing actually NEEDS our attention. Think about it…you keep turning away, and there it is…you keep refusing and there it is…you keep on avoiding it and running from it and always, it is there, looming and large and ugly and there…kind of like that one guy at the office that keeps just showing up at the pub when you are not wanting to talk about office politics and wanna just get your party on. Yes, it is like that guy. It just keeps on showing up and you just keep on avoiding it. 

Then, we start doing STUPID things…things that we know we should not and things that if we knew another way to be, would not be done…buuuuut….

If it is that we find ourselves unfulfilled by the over-indulgence of an activity, and our inner selves feel like that thing that we are doing to fill ourselves up is continuing to drain us, it is at that point that we need to stop running because the thing that we are running from, no matter how much we fear the work involved to get that one thing to be its own opposite, it will always be there. It is up to us and our need to change a thing or two about our lives and our selves, that makes us run. The thing that we stare at is actually the catalyst for our own growth and our own change. 

The thing that we run from can be anything, can be a group of things, can be and usually is something that we dearly and truly need to attend to. We can keep on fearing what COULD happen or we can forge ahead and know that at least we took even the tiniest action toward change, toward being the whole person that we are incarnate. 

Quit with the Tough ACT…

Stop being so…icky….that’s right I said it now deal with it. You and your icky thoughts are what is keeping you from growing and going through what you are. You want to be better, but you don’t want to do the work involved. 

Do the work involved. It won’t kill you, I promise. 
Go through the tears, and through the fire of the pain…again…it will not hurt you with anything that you are not meant to hurt from. 

Do what you must, unless you like what you are going through now and like the idea that you WILL go through it again.

Knock it off with the idea that you need to be outwardly tough, because being outwardly tough means that you are like jelly-filled hard candy…hard on the outside, but squishy and gooey in the middle.

You need to go through things. All of us do. The difference between you and everyone else going through stuff is that they are tough enough.

You aren’t…I can help you with that, but I promise that even as I am a nice teacher, I am one who will make you go through all your own slings and arrows, your own hell of your own making, so that you can see where it is that you are believing that which is not the very truth of you…and with that much said…do not forget…


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. If you would like information about “ROCK your NUPTIALS” Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Lady Spitfire! Listen to her at!

Buy your copy of “The Bones of The Soul” at

You can go Friday, Feb. 1 in Pomona, or Saturday, Feb. 2 in West Covina…either way, you will LOVE 
PleezHer…a Weezer cover Band!! 

(The nicest group of young men who like to mosh…but hey…they love small animals!! Stay tuned because me and The Veil Between have BIG NEWS coming up and we want you to join us !!! Check back OFTEN for updates about the big fat thing we are doing for a whole lot of itty-bitty humans…)

You know…you COULD email me to find out how your banner could be here instead of this message telling you that your banner could be here!! 

The Time Has Come…it’s time to Get Your God On !!

Pay Attention …

“…it seems like too much Love is never enough…you’d better seek out another road because this one has ended abrupt…” (“Say Hello to Heaven,” by Temple of the Dog)

There comes a time in all of our lives where we have to do things that we do not want to do. There are a lot of us who have lost a whole lot in our lives, too much to list here and sometimes, those losses are immeasurable and more than that, irreversible. However, that is not what I wanted to tell you all about today. No, today was different. In fact, daily I am reminded that sometimes we have to realize our Selves through other people…yes, including me.

I was blessed today by a person who I have known since long before the harshness that is Life happens upon any one of us. While I will not go on about telling anyone about this person’s own harshness, I will go on to tell you that at this point she has become the one person with whom I can truly identify with a person being able to “get their God on,” even though the thing that happened has affected her own life in a very marked way.  It is not only because of her dedication that I know is there, but more, because there needs to be more people just like her on the planet, and aren’t I a lucky chick…I get the work with these kinds of people everyday of my life. I get to be with Hawaiians at heart, with people whose losses are huge and life changing and whose goodness and light are as big and huge as their losses are.

These are the people with whom I hold the very closest of counsel with – the ones who have lost the most, and those who have lost the most in my own inner circle have already been witness in their own lives to the idea that once we give to others the goodness that is truly our very Selves, beautiful things begin to happen. While these beautiful things begin to happen it does not mean that the loss is the thing forgotten. Quite the opposite, in fact, because the loss becomes the catalyst for the healing that needs to take place, and more than that, the loss becomes, at that point, part of the reason for the beauty. This does not in any way take from the loss, because the loss is always going to be what it was meant to be. Sometimes, though, the beauty that is borne of the tragedy …well, that’s the most beautiful thing in the world to me, because it means that those people who have suffered their own tragedies have figured out the meaning of  “gettin’ your God on.”

Gettin’ Your God On…

“…This is how we do it ! All hands are in the air, and wave them from here to there  If you’re an O.G. mack or a wanna-be player  You see the hood’s been good to me  Ever since I was a lower-case G…” 
(Montell Jordan’s “This is how we do it…”)

Tragedy tends to make us do things that we might not otherwise, and tragedy makes us look into our own selves and makes us question God and get very, very, very luxuriantly angry with God, and not just any angry, but that certain type of angry that is velvety soft and hard like diamonds all at once. It is the kind of angry that makes us cry out in the middle of the night, wanting to know what it was that was so horrid that we did that would make God want us to hurt as badly as we do.

Ya know…I wanna sit here and tell you that I have that answer, but I know that I can’t. I cannot sit here and tell anyone that what they have gone through is going to go away because that is not the truth. I can, however, sit here and tell you all that there is a way to channel that hurt and that anguish, that pain and even the memory that anyone of us has of those things that broke our very Souls in two. That one thing is called Gettin’ Your God On.

The way that you Get Your God On is simple – first, you take your pain and accept it, know it feel it and Be with it. Yes, Be with your pain, because that is where the truth is at, and in order to Get one’s God On one must also be able to deal effectively with what has been presented to us. We have to make it through the pain anyway, so there is nothing better than being able to share it with other people after it has been transformed into the beautiful thing that will at least make it more tolerable. 

“Gettin’ Your God On means that the pain that we have and all the other things that break our hearts and hurt us to the core of us can be turned into something beautiful. Beauty is in art, is in song, is in words, is in giving, is in sharing and is the very core essence that is the Aloha in us all. 

There are a few people who are reading this who know who they are, know who this was written about, and yes, there are more than only one person who this was written about. We can all take what we have and share it, and give it meaning and give it a new Truth, one that, while the pain is the thing that gives us the fuel to step out of our fears and give to other people what it is that they might be able to do something with, might be able to make it through one more day of their lives knowing for sure that in the pain, and in the loss, and in the heartbreaking moments that we all go through, that someone cares and wants us to care and wants to help us remember who we are and lead us back to that place where God lives within us. 

This is what being part of the bigger Tribe is all about – the ability to Get Your God On, first in our own inner circle, and then what we do within our own circle is we give these people who we care so much about the thing that they need to make it out there in the big fat world and be all they can be, pain still there, but transformed and easier to manage because now there is this light that cannot be made less bright, this purpose that was borne of loss, of shame and of things that no one wants to go through. But we go through it all and in the end we find out that what we have gone through was not without good purpose. 

SO, with that said, and written, and with that being my ultimate Truth – that I want us all to do a little bit of Gettin’ all of our God On, I will leave you with the idea that while what we go through that causes us to want to Get our God On, the sweetness with it all is that we know that we are blessed and touched and prompted by the heavens to get out there in the wilderness that is our Life, that is our own 40 days and nights with the devil that wants to crush us…nope…not today, dude…not ever again, period.. 

Don’t be scared…just get on out there and Get Your God On already…the world is waitin’ !! If you don’t know how to do that or cannot come up with a really cool way to Get Your God On…hit me up…I will help you figure it out.

Get on out there…hurry up, y’all…go on and Get Your God On !! The world is waiting!! 


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. If you would like information about “ROCK your NUPTIALS” Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Hey! This is Me!! If you wanna Rock Your Wedding….I’m just the chick to do it for you!! Send me an email and let’s ROCK YOUR NUPTIALS with me- Reverend Roxie and my musical minions !

PleezHer…these are my friends…my friends are playing at Characters in Pomona on Feb. 1 and again at the Around the Corner Bar in West Covina Feb. 2 !! You should come and hang out with me…come on…you KNOW you want to !!

And, yes, of course…you know I want you to check out The Veil Between…because they are AWESOME…go check ’em out!! 

and the only thing missing on this part of my blog is YOUR AD!!! Wanna be seen here with the rest of the long haired freaky people? 

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