Monthly Archives: January 2016

That Place Called “Enough”

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We are collectively all there, right now…at that place called “Enough!”

I am pretty sure that I do not need to elaborate on what it is that I have had enough of. However, I am going to remind you all of what, exactly, it is that I have had enough of, and I am pretty sure that the most of those breathing the air on this planet have also had enough of…

I am pretty sure…

I am pretty sure that the thing that we are all pau hana with, that we have had absolutely the fuck enough of, is everything that is old. By this I mean that what we are doing, even though it seems otherwise, is not really fighting our own selves, but rather and only the ideals we had at one time of our own selves as our old selves. Becoming who we are takes a lot of patience, takes a lot of heart, and takes a very strong person to be able to do so. Right now, when I know that we are all feeling our own weaknesses, the reality is that it is not our weaknesses that we are feeling, per se, but actually and only the exhaustion that we are feeling from the emotional smack down we have all had to go through over these last few months.

These last few months have been a pain in the okole. These last few months have seemed to be the sort of time that feel like the Universe is kicking us all in the teeth, but, for a whole lot of us (called Light workers) this is not the case.

I promise you all right now that even as it might feel like the Universe is beating the crap out of us, the opposite is the truth.

The #Truth

The truth is that really, what we are going through is simply our own evolution.

No.

Seriously.

This is what is happening, and we are each and all helpless to do a thing about it OTHER than go with the flow of things.

As much as I hate reading my own words, and as much as I know that this shit ain’t over with, at least not right yet (not much longer, I promise…balance is what the Universe is all about), read them, I must, drink them in, I must – or else I will end up more crazy than I already am….and no one needs that shit, namely not me.

What is going on, even if we do not want to think about it, look at it, tear it apart and mindfuck it….is everything that we were thinking to ourselves, regarding everything that is going on and everything that is sucking and everything that is making us want to cry and to lash out at someone (anyone), is actually more akin to our being honed to a point, sharpened to a life-ending-as-we-know-it-used-to-be sharpness, and none of us can wrap our heads around the fact that what we are experiencing is good for us.

Oh my goodness I can feel the collective “WTF?”

I don’t like looking at my own words, but I know that I am right – we are being made ready for the next stages of this shared life, and at this point in human history, there is evidence that should tell us all that we have made a mess. (Okay, not us specifically…but come on, guys…Trump is running for president – what the hell does that tell you?…yup…you’d be right if you are thinking that our circus full of monkeys has gone completely ape shit…keep reading…)

The thing that I have had to wrap my head around is that whatever it is that we think needs to stay the same…it can’t, because the same old thing that we were doing about…say three…maybe four…years ago…yeah, that no longer applies, and we are supposed to be changing it to fit not only what we need now, need in the future, but more importantly, what this world needs, specifically from us, and that we are here to do for it with our special and specific gifts, talents and knowledge.

It is, indeed, a good thing, even as it feels like it should, which is way, way shitty-like.

The reason that it feels way, way shitty-like is so that we do not ever forget what was more important…was it our mission and our specific purpose, or, was it what we wanted to continue to believe as being the truth of us…??? This is the hardest question, at least for me, to create an answer for. I am not someone who likes to let go of things, namely things that piss me off. This is how I have always been. It all boils down to other peoples’ levels of disrespect and how willing they have been throughout the course of my life to show me it.

The thing that I know I, specifically , have to do, is to learn to let go of all of the bullies who actually helped me become this me, even though they would not believe that somehow, this me is the me that is here, now and still becoming, like the you that you are becoming, to literally change the world in some big, fat way. All I really have to do is to learn to let go of the anger, because in letting it go and by not hanging onto THEIR shit, I have, already, at least for myself, changed the world and how I perceive it to be.

Triggers and other shit that make us mad, hurt us, do what they do…

There are certain words, actions, and the like, that many of us do not realize are called triggers. Triggers are those things that set us off and send us through the roof. People who have a “hair trigger temper” are a good example of how badly anyone who does not know what their own triggers are absolutely need to know what they are. When we klnow what they are, we are more readily able and available to heal from them. We might not like how those words or actions or whatever affect us, but the moment that we know that they exist is also the moment that our own personal evolution can happen for us.

You see, other people are not going to know what our triggers are – because they are not for everyone else…they are only for us to know about, to learn from, and to be able to overcome.  The way that we each have been taught, at least a whole lot of us, is to believe the things that others say about us, even if it is not believable. Whether you want to believe what I am saying, and I say it a lot, or not, is irrelevant. What is relevant is the absolute FACT that for the most part, we were talked out of trusting ourselves. It happens when we are kids. The adults in our lives mean well, because they are trying to teach us, through conditioning us to, how to respect. The injury to the soul comes when we do as we are taught (show respect) and the adults we show this respect to do not return it, simply and only because we are kids. This creates within us a trigger.

What the trigger does is activates within us is the feeling that we need to make it known, not only to these others, but to ourselves, that what is being said is not the truth, or, at the very least, not believed by us. The more we hear it, the more it irritates us, and as we get older, we begin to form a thing called a habit. It is this habit that we take on, this habit that we use to make their truth not our truth, even when or if they do not change their stance – we know, based solely on the triggers that make us say and do things that we don’t want to say or do- it is this habit that we have and this action that we take in defiance to their truth about us that we use as protection, NOT from the things that they are saying or doing, but, from our own habit of taking on their truth as our belief about ourself.

We are not meant to save people – we are meant to be with them, to teach them, to show them the way to their own enlightenment. It is our job to love and to protect, to help rather than hinder, and for a whole LOT of people who share the air with us on this rock, it is a sad day, everyday, no matter what things they have that make their existence seem to be easier because of this one thing that they seem to be clueless about, but, really, they aren’t. They live securely, and lots of us don’t, because we have been evolving and some of us are not aware of it. What none of us thinks about is that while they might have their things and their comfort, they have to still live with their own selves, and they have to think about it every time we mention to them how it was that when they needed us, we were there for them. When we need them, we hear excuses, and we hear what reasons that they have that they (not cannot but) will not help us.

It has nothing to do with us.

I know that seems unbelievable, namely if you are like I am and tend to take on the blame for things going shitty for other people. It is their turn to take on the accountability, NOT for the harshness in our lives, but for the shitty way that they are being to anyone at all, and it is the shitty way that they are being that is going to eat them alive. It happens this way because Karma reacts this way.

I have said it a million and one times – the Karma we hope to see others go through is the same thing that we will end up going through. If we have not wished Karma on others, and we keep on keepin’ on through the shit that we are facing, what we end up being is bad ass, even though it might feel otherwise. What those certain others end up being is in the middle of the thing that they could have helped us or anyone else with, that they could have made different, that they could have chosen to do had they been the tiniest bit within their own soul about things. Yet, typically, those who are not on the enlightened Path will not now, nor will they ever, see the things that are contained within the souls of others, see there what it is that they were not aware of or were point blank ignoring.

It is not that they cannot help, but it could be that they are simply being shitty. Another thing that they might not be telling any of us is that they don’t know how to help, and this leads them to not ask how they can, because, again, it is easier to ignore our human family than it is to actually reach out and care for them. This is really what happens, and this is really how any one of us got here.

Myself, I am rather enjoying the weeding out of harmful people from my life. Sure, some people are harder to rid my life of than are others, but, none the less, I see them leaving. I would like to say, truthfully, that I hope that in all of the time that they have known me and who I really am, that they will be able to live with themselves once it is that they finally come to terms with the actual damage and more, their own severe lack of compassion for other people, not just me, not just others like me and not just those closest to me, but just…period.

When we feel like shouldering everything ourselves, and we want to believe the shitty things that we are believing as being our truth, the best thing that I can ask of anyone is to ask themselves if what they are hearing or being told (big difference between the two things) is believable and more importantly, why is it believable? Why is it that anyone with a good heart and soul impose upon themselves the energy that is their own not being good enough a human being to at least warrant others being truthful with them? We have to be able to honestly answer these things without our making good enough reasons as to why it is that we want to believe that these people who were there for us in the past or, all this time, maybe they were not really being there for us.

Maybe they were simply securing something that you were or are still capable of helping them with for themselves….ask yourself if you would trust them now that I have given you that to think about…seriously – do you trust them now that you have had revealed to you the actual truth of who they are, even if they did not mean to expose it to you?

Can you trust anyone who is not willing to reveal to you their own truth about who they are, let alone you, and can you depend on them to be there for you when the proverbial shit hits the fan?

I think every single one of us knows the answers to all of these questions, yes?

Yes…of course you do

Now, get on out there and shine…and fuck anyone who thinks you are anything less than what or who you know you are. I say fuck them and their crap, and I say that you…me…we…not one of us is starting over…we are merely starting from here…

…hey, ya gotta start somewhere…

Here and now is a pretty good place for it…

ROX

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The Wreckage that We are at Times

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The propensity that we have towards not feeling our own pain and believing that we can handle our lives without feeling it is what today’s post is all about.

You can all call me a whiny bitch all you want. I know the truth.

I know that I am strong and resilient, and I also know that there are going to be things that happen that will test my resolve, as things have for the last month, and will mess with my composure, and at the same time, show me not only what I am made of, but what others are also made of. I found out that I am not made of sugar and spice, but rather  a collective of memories that I keep having to live through everyday, just so that I can get through them and over it all.

What I am, right this moment, is someone who is a ball of jumbled emotions. I am, or at least can be, very adept at not feeling what I am feeling at any given moment. I have been that way for a long time. No matter what, though, this time, and these emotions are not going away if I do not acknowledge them. 

And Goddess-bless certain people for trying to lift me out of my mood…I have been made aware by my Spirit Mother and Sisters that I have to feel them, because if I do not feel them, I cannot know how to help anyone else deal with them. This is not my copping out, and is not my being a martyr – this is simply my being the constant Shaman in training, the very one who willingly traverses the Path of the Black Flame. (And yes I do realize that that is also the title of a magazine published by the church of Satan but..it is surely not the same thing…please…keep reading…)

I am realizing one thing – when it is that we are supposed to go through a lot of bullshit, the Universe will serve us up with a ton of it, and no matter what it is that we are thinking we can do to avoid a lot of things that we do not want to deal with, deal with those things we will. I am writing SPECIFICALLY about myself in that, if there is a person on this planet who (a) does not like watching other people suffer, (b) would rather be the one to absorb it all for anyone else, and (c) is learning that in my wanting to do for them what it is that they are learning, I am not learning. What I am not wanting to learn is how to navigate my silly Pisces okole out of this madness.

There are a lot of people who will tell you that if there is one person who has the ability to bounce back from the bullshit that seems to have always plagued my life, it is me.

However, when I look back into the years that I have been able to do the escape artist thing, I find that I have done myself no favors at all, in fact, and those non-favors have led me to have to seek help from other healers. Once it is that I can get past all of the things that broke my heart, no matter who were the ones who’d done it (and mind you I do know that PLENTY of them meant no harm…), no matter how much I do not care to face yet one more little tiny bit of bullshit, face it all, I must. 

Face it all…

I am reminded of the …cute…nature of Disney character “Dory” from “finding Nemo,” with her famous mantra being “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.”

There is not a Pisces on this planet who does not know what this is like – the idea that in order to survive the insanity of the ocean of emotion, we have the choice to keep swimming.  In nature, fish have no other real defenses, not even the big scary ones, and it is the reason that most of them swim away from danger. I mean, even in a fish bowl, a fish will try to swim away from something that it senses will hurt it. Try it at home if you can, and you will find out that I am right – stick your finger into a bowl with a goldfish in it, and while that creature will, at first, be curious about the thing that has just come into its watery abode, once it is that it finds out it cannot eat it, said goldfish will swim as far away from your finger that it can, just so that it can remain safe. This is natural for them, to swim from what it is that appears or they sense to be not food or to be some sort of predator coming for it.

Using this same analogy, if it is that we stick our finger in the fishbowl too much, and once in every while we actually touch the gills of the fish in the bowl, eventually that fish is going to chafe, and eventually that fish is going to have a very different response to its own curiosity – and that response is called fear. We fear that which we know is not comfortable, and we fear that which we have no idea about, and we fear whatever it is that we have denied long enough so that we could, at least for a little while, not have to fear those things. Yet, we forget that we have to go through all of that shit, have to deal with the things that we are not exactly too thrilled about having to do.

And yes, I have indeed have had very much enough of that thing called “all this bullshit.” I have had enough of all the hurt and the heartache, to the point where now, if I do not face it all, I will be dealing with more and more of this manifestation of physical pain in lieu of facing the inner demons of simply just not wanting to hurt anymore. It is one of those things that, unless you are me, are my twin flame, are particularly close to me in any manner, you are not going to have the reality of this thing that I am experiencing. This thing that I am experiencing is called pain.

Pain is the indicator light

We human beings ascribe attributes of non-human things to ourselves. I like using a car for my own. Because I have had a lot of difficulties lately with my own vehicle, I can truly say that my Wonderbucket and I, at this moment, have the same issues. The differences are obvious – it is a car. I am a person. It is not running, and I am still breathing. However, my vehicle ran the distance until she was tired, and my vehicle worked hard for me even though I knew that sometimes, she just needed to be parked under a shady tree for a day or two, and always, my vehicle did not let me down. While she may never run again, my vehicle, no matter what, will always be the place that I am able to find solace.

Not only is my vehicle out of commission, my ambulation has been hampered – knee injury…happened whilst performing a labor of Love and a labor of Love which I would do, again and again, and would not bat an eye at it if I ended up, every time, injuring my knee. That I have an injury is one thing – it happens to the best of us. That I have a knee injury specifically is the thing that makes me shudder a little bit in that, hula is danced from the knees and the feet, and through this injury, I have been shown exactly how much not only my legs and my ability to walk, dance, move about, actually mean to me and more, how much my life is not the same, albeit temporarily, without my Medicine Dance.

I have learned a whole lot about myself, and the one thing that I have learned as of this moment is that we all have that point at which we can take no more. Even as this might be true, while we can take no more is one thing, but that what other people are bringing to us that we can take no more of we HAVE TO be able to tell the difference between what is meant to hurt, and what is an attempt that, through our emotional guidance, we are not privy to having to deal with any of it, if that, at any moment, is what we are finding ourselves having to do so as to not have to absorb any more pain, no matter what.

Other people who do not know us and who do not care about what their actions have done to our lives as a whole are, regardless of what we want to think is the truth, also learning. But, I am finding that these are the sort of people who will, without even batting an eye, place the blame of their actions of shittiness onto the people who they have created wreckage for. I am reminded of those who deem themselves “in charge” of anything that has no meaning for anyone other than them. I am reminded of people who take their “manager name tag” and shove it in the faces of the people who they think they are superior to. These are the people, by and large, who have created the very most havoc in my life and in the lives of those particularly close to me. These are the people, I have to believe, want to believe, will try to exact it as being believable even if only to myself, do not know have already, for themselves, started the loop of Karmic grief.

Karmic Grief

This is the part where I give you the cosmic “aaaaahhhhhhh,” and the part where I remind us all, namely myself, that things that suck and feel like they will end our lives as we know it are temporary. 

Don’tcha just hate it when some damned spiritual person comes along and reminds us that everything we are going through is temporary? I am one of those spiritual types and right now I dislike very much reading my own words, but, I have to read them, because I have to believe them, because if anyone wants all of this burdensome bullshit to be over with, it is me (and a few others very close to me). The thing that I like calling “Karmic Grief” is the other side of this pain that collectively, many of us are feeling right this moment.

I would love to tell you that they get theirs when we want them to, but that is not what happens. What happens is that they get theirs when it is most pertinent to the thing that they are exacting now. This means that if someone in your life, regardless of how close you are to them, and more so if you cannot stand them, has harmed your heart and soul in any manner at all, no matter how much we want to see them suffer what it is that we are suffering, it will not come to them until it means something to them that whatever it is that they are putting us through they too will go through.

For instance, there is a woman I know of who likes to behave like a man, and it is proved by the way that she treats men. I am not going to sit here and tell anyone that I can tell you how or when her karmic grief is going to get her, but what I will state is that, without a doubt, it is coming for her, and she will be helpless to do a thing about it when it does. If she does not learn from the havoc that she has wreaked onto at least myself and one other person, then she will end up going through that same measure of grief again and again until she learns that she is not allowed to make peoples’ lives hard and practically ruin them just because she has that material power to do so.

Material power is different than soul power, because material power is finite, while soul power is infinite. (Think about it) Using one’s material power (physical, real or imagined, bullying in one way or another) is easier than going with what your soul is telling you to do. It is your soul’s power that prompts any one of us to ultimately look at the pain and feel the compulsion to deal with it, even though we know that it is going to suck…badly. Using our soul’s power makes us focus on ourselves and not on the things that we see in other people that we, ourselves, cannot “fix” for ourselves. When we cannot “fix” something is when we are being told that what we are faced with is something that we have to deal with, that we cannot turn from, and that ultimately will make us far stronger than the weakness that we are feeling right now in the material. This does not change things for any of us, at least not topically. What it does do is gives us an option – to face (soul power)…or not to face (material power).

In the time that we go through what we will go through when we opt to go with our souls and get through things from the soul, out, we will, for sure, blame otehrs for how we feel, even though the blame for our feeling any way is not what they are responsible for. They are responsible for bringing the pain to us. Our kuleana with that pain is to heal ourselves from it. This does not, at all, make things at all different. They are still who brought the pain. We are still who must feel it and work through it. This does not excuse the pain if it were done on purpose (refer to the thing about me, one other person, and that “manager pin” worn on the sleeve). What it does, believe it or not, is gives us leverage. It does this through the mechanism of them thinking they have hurt us, which they have, and our begging them for mercy, which sometimes we do, and our eventually realizing that we never needed them to give us mercy. We needed them to show us the next lesson.

That’s it. Really. That’s it. In relegating them to this position of merely bringing us the lesson, we take from them the one thing that they hope, like all people like this would be, would be the thing that they need to keep control over us in some manner. When we remove from them, through our choosing to see things through the eyes of the soul rather than the material and we understand what it is that, materially, we mean to them. They actually need us – we never need anyone else to make us feel powerful by their ability to take from us what they think and assume makes them feel more powerful and is ours- material, or otherwise. Empowerment does not come from denying others their power. It comes from respecting them even when they are at their weakest, period. If they do not respect you and never did, that is a them thing, not a you thing…keep reading.

It is not our place to wish bad things onto anyone. It is not our place to want them to hurt like we do, but wish it upon them we will (I can think of four right now…two bitch boys and two manchicks). This is when we end up creating that karmic circle for ourselves, all over again. The lesson, at least for me, in part, I know, is that I have to stop wishing certain peple would suffer, because in doing so, I have to suffer. Right now, the suffering that I am doing is all mine, make no mistake, but it is not because I want suffering for anyone (at least not for real). It is, rather and instead, because that is how I roll. I do not like to suffer, but I will suffer if I am meant to. Learning means that sometimes, we have to go through pain. I am in pain in more ways than one. A lot of us are.

It is not something that will make any of us feel any better about what it is that is right here and now. Karma is not meant to be that way. Karmic grief is not up to us to exact, and if we are lucky we will be somewhere nearby when it all starts for these certain others, for no other reason than to have a sense of confirmation and closure to the pain.

If we are lucky, the Universe will show us glimpses of things being made right and will make it so that we are no way, and in the right energy, the one who is blamed for the karmic grief of others. Understand now that there is a difference between feeling grief, and grieving. The grief about which I am writing and that we feel is to be thought of as our having to deal with a lot of bullshit. But, grieving over things is totally different. We feel grief when others bring it to us, but, we grieve over things, not only that we have lost, but that we seem not to understand the reason as to why it is those things which hurt us are so very hard for us to deal with.

So, if it is that you are experiencing the wreckage that has become your own life, take heart in a few things:

  1. While it might seem very…naive…of me to state so, and even while I, myself, am having a very dearly hard time dealing with even my own words about this shit, whatever it is that you are experiencing and is making you feel grief, it is temporary.
  2. You are not the circumstances of your life. You are a human being. You are worthy of Love and self-acceptance for that alone. You are not required to proverbially beat the shit out of you just because the world seems to have a different idea about it.
  3. The things that mean the most to us might not be the things that we need for this time in our lives, and this also applies to people and the way that we are treated by them, no matter who they are. They might not be able to handle whatever it is that you are dealing with, and in like kind, they will go away and return another time.
  4. Where there appears to be a “hole in the soul” is actually space for something new.

When it seems as though we are not getting what it is that we want, we have to look at the other side of it, to the things that we need. Maybe we need to learn to just live without certain things and people in our lives. I don’t know. I don’t like doing either of those things. But, if it means that I will,eventually, be better and stronger for having done so, then I suppose that which I thought was lost was never mine to begin with.

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That which we are not aware of

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In terms of being aware, it is not what we are absolutely aware of that we need to hone, but that which we are unaware of and that we are creating that we need to learn…

Awareness: having knowledge of something and especially of something not generally known or apparent (from Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary,1973, pg 78)

Until we are aware of something, we are unaware.

Yeah, I know…duh… 

The reality is, though, unfortunately, that we humans can be severely unaware of what is happening with our own selves, and lots of times it is not a bad thing, even though those lots of things might actually be very, very tough to deal with, let alone live through. At this moment in our shared lives we are finding that there is a LOT of stuff that we are going through, that perhaps a lot of us have denied through the mechanism of being awful in terms of how it is that we feel about ourselves and our abilities.

And let me tell you what – every one of us is going through something right now. I am sure that if you bothered to look at the less than rosy things in your life (you know…the things that take you away from having to deal with the things that you would rather not? Yeah…I’m onto ya…keep reading), you might not be able to see it right away, but in that garbage is what it is, at the bottom of it all, you are learning. And you are not learning to do something OTHER than become aware.

Awareness is that thing that we want, but is something that reveals the truth, not only about other people, but mostly about ourselves. While it is that we do not want to look at the ugliness that exists within the confines of our lives, what we are not thinking about is what is not apparent but is absolutely there for us to find. We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on who we are for real, that we do not buy into what others say about us that is good – we prefer to keep ourselves humble, so to speak, and keep ourselves at a level that is not the level that we each know we need to accept ourselves as being at.

This is not easy to do when we are looking at our tangible realities and finding there the things that scare the hell out of us the most. This is what this things called awareness brings us – the ability to see, perhaps even with our physical eyes, that which is unapparent to us on the physical level.

That which is apparent to us on the physical level is not all that there is to ‘see’

If I tell someone who I am coaching that there are things that they are not aware of, and things that they, themselves, cannot see, it is actually a very good thing that some of them cannot see what it is that anyone else can see and appreciate.

Sometimes, duh is better

Sometimes, it is better that we cannot see these things about us, because in doing so, we will either become so comfortable in the idea that we are changing things for ourselves that we become complacent in our efforts and end up not evolving, or, we will find ourselves so very…filled with un-belief…about the great things that we are being told, that we will over-analyze what we have been told is the truth about us as presented to us by someone else. We will make it so that within that goodness, we will find something that will invariably go ‘wrong.’ We are so much more readily available to believe the ugliness that is said about who we are, far and long before we will even think to accept what is not apparent to us and is actually both true and good. We will essentially mind-fuck it into oblivion, and we will end up continuing to believe the awful things that others have said about us and to us.

The thing about that sort of things is that, when others tell us what they feel is ‘wrong’ with us, what they are actually doing is reflecting how they feel about themselves and showing us, through the mirror who they are, what is really not completely okay about themselves. I am reminded of a mother who cannot find one good thing to say about her adult kid. When finally she does, somehow, because it is her habit and it is her way of keeping her kid a kid, she jacks things up by “balancing” the good things that she’d said by reminding her kid that somehow, they are not the best person on the planet, and why don’t you listen to mommy more?

Well, why would anyone want to listen to someone who never encourages another person to be all that they can be and do so without all of the (ahem) ‘constructive criticism’? (I am sorry, but, that is not a real thing, by the way – how can criticism ever be constructive? It is way, way destructive…keep reading…) It is not that they have a bad thing to say to us or about us, at least for the most part. It is that they are not happy with themselves, or they feel like they are entitled to our changing who we are so that they can feel better about themselves through the mechanism of reflecting their own ‘bad’ onto someone who is essentially ‘good.’

This is the truth. I did not make this up.

On this planet we share the air with people who have been told their entire lives that, because they are not willing to conform to someone else’s level of comfort, that somehow, they are ‘bad.’ What else is the truth is that not one of us has to accept what is someone else’s bullshit when it comes to things like who we are to anyone, namely and mostly ourselves. The damage that is caused by people not thinking before they speak, or perhaps not thinking at least about how it would feel if they were to be told the same things that they habitually say to others…that damage is huge and that damage lasts as long as it takes for a person to raise their level of awareness, at least to the point where what is being said cannot be proved as true.

It is only true if we choose to believe it.

At that point, we make their truth, our truth. At that point, we are living and being the person who they see and who they have a problem with. At that point, what we are doing is anything other than being true to ourselves. We are taught for our lives long that other peoples’ opinion is the truth of us and really, the truth of us is created by and through us. Other people are just tools in that creation. They are there with their cutting words and their biting assumptions, there with words but without a clue. They are there to make sure that they get what they need into our ears and our psyche, and there to help us choose what they are in terms of what it is that they bring to us.

Choosing who they are vs. allowing them to choose for us who we are

In the last paragraph, I wrote that we get to choose who they are in our lives. To make sure that things are more clear for you, let’s see these people as actual tools in a toolbox.

Now, realize that I have almost zero clue about what tool is useful for what job and that for the most part, I am using this only as an example. Inside of a toolbox there are several different tools. Each of those tools has a different purpose.  Each of them does different things, even though lots of them might look a whole lot alike.  Some are exactly alike but are a different size, meaning that even as they might look like something else, they are outwardly and essentially the same, but do not have the same purpose.

NOW…let’s look at the other side of this…the side where you call a guy to repair something.

That guy knows his stuff, and here you are, questioning that guy about his stuff. You sit there telling that guy what he should do according to you, and all the while, that guy is the one who is going to, without your help, either fix what needs to be fixed or leave the repair job, and all because you have shit to say about something that you called on him for. Because you do not know what this guy has already gone through earlier in his work day, you are taken aback when he tells you that you can fix it yourself, and you are offended by him when he hands you his tools and tells you to do it yourself (since you know better than the expert).

…the difference being…

In one instance, we are who, in our DIY manner, chooses who is and who is not a tool for us. We choose who will sharpen us through their words and their sordid thoughts about us. We choose who will strengthen us by their measure of trying hard to make us weak every chance they get. We determine what tool will be best for what job and what part of us needs to be made whole. When we are the one doing the choosing, we are managing who we are through whatever means it is that other people bring to us. In other words, we are not believing what others say of us that is not that great and who are choosing their stuff to measure against our stuff and we are finding out the truth through them without them realizing it.

In the other instance, when we call out someone else about their stuff and we believe them, we are allowing them to create for us an awareness that is not our own, and we are telling them that, because they have a problem, and since they are more willing to see what they think we are not able to do versus the reason why they called us out or upon us for whatever reason they have, we are letting them be in control and we are allowing them into that sacred place of wholeness that only we can see to. This is not to say that we do not, from time to time, in our actual abodes, not in need of someone to come and actually fix stuff for us. It is saying that when it comes to the home that is our peace of mind, the last thing that someone …anyone…needs is one more person telling us that they have a better way of doing things and why are we not doing things their way?

When it comes to that point is when we have to choose who they are to us…are they a tool? Are they someone in need of our specific help with themselves? Are they someone in need of specific help with themselves and who would rather not fix who they are – they would rather tell other people how said other people are not able to do what it is that we are all able to do, so long as we do it ourselves and without believing the things that people tell us is the truth of us.

Basically, the way that we become aware of the things that we are not topically aware of is simply trhrough observance, through listening, through paying attention to the things that others are telling us is the truth of who we are. What you will notice is that everything that they have to tell us about us is typically about them, as well, and when they tell us what they tell us, it is a reflection of themselves, not of us. We are not taught this way. We are taught to believe other people. We are taught to not trust us. We are taught to be beholden to the opinions of other people, and we are not taught that the only opinion of ourselves that truly matters comes from ourselves.

The hardest part of all of this awareness stuff is not that we have to look at what other people think of us. It is that we have to learn to accept that which is GOOD about us and learn to stop accepting what is bad about us according to other people.

The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best… “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”

The Truth…it completely rocks…namely when it is that we are the creators of our own…

Live Aloha…

I Love You All… ROX

#LosAngelesKahuna

#TheCrabAndTheFish

Medicine Dance Book Cover Front Draft RJB

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