Tag Archives: the mana’o blog

In Black and White

zebra-stripes

We all know what we do not want…but…do we know what we DO want?

I am Kahuna.

I will not lie- I have always enjoyed the strange nature of things that go on in the ether, but, for the first part of my life on this planet and in this lifetime, while it was that I was very curious about the weirdness, I was terrified of it at the same time that I was curious about it. The bottom line, all of my life, and even sometimes now, I had a fear, not of going to hell, but of letting my parents -particularly my mother – down.

Fast forward to the Now , and with the help of my Maestro, I realized what I feared was that my mom would so dearly be hurt (which she won’t admit to being but I know that she was), and that she might not love me anymore. I feared that my challenge to what was right and correct and true to her would be what made her not love me. I was terrified that she would judge me for who I am now, for what I like now, for who I Love the most right now…but, that did not happen. What happened was that my mother, in all of her motherliness, actually did what I, myself, have had to do, for what seems like a very long time, but really is not – I did that thing called “accepting my kids for who they truly are,” and nurtured that energy within them.

Essentially, I became the mom I did not have. This is not stating that her as my mother was not the best that I could ever have (because now that I think about it, she was actually trying to protect me. All water signs live through a belief that we have to fear everything…please, keep reading…), because without my mom and all of her religious belief, lots of things that did not happen in my life that could have happened were never realized. What was realized, over time, was that there was nothing that I was taught that was not of some sort of good learning for me.

What I learned was that my mother’s way of love for me was very black and white (and it had to be, because I am, by her own stating so, her “wild child”), was cut to the chase and held no secrecy, at least in terms of the absoluteness that is a mother’s love. What I was shown by the Maestro (as well as my oldest) most recently was that what my mom taught me were the lessons of growing out of those expectations and into my own vision of my life, of what would be contained there, of who would be allowed in it, and how much I was willing to see to it that I would remain who I am – this mom, this “Pineapple,” this Me who is the Me who I love so very much and who my Hanai Ohana would be remiss to know that I chose to change to please other people. I know who matters. If change is required, I will know who is the reason why some changes need to happen for me.

I always felt my mom did not like me as a person. I was wrong. I had felt that way all my life, like if I changed one thing about her conjured version of “me,” that I would lose my mother’s love.

This was, and still is, a primary fear for us all – that our parents will be so disappointed in us and as who we truly are or that we are not doing things their way, that ultimately, we fear losing their love. This does not address the idea that some of us (again, including me), still live in that energy and don’t even know it. The feeling denotes that somewhere within us, we do not have (or think we don’t have) the earliest, most…”spot-welded” moment, where every single one of our sensations, bodily and emotionally, can be recalled, and we can feel everything from that moment as though it were right now. In that moment are snippets and snapshots of it, and of every other one that was also spot-welded in our psyches, that prove through our digging for the truth, that we won’t lose the love of those most important to us and in our lives.

This is the defining moment of who we know as mom or dad and of who they are, specifically and in those roles, in our lives. This is the time that the emotional temperature gauge is set, when we are children, even though we do not realize it. It is also the time in our lives that we, at least in my opinion, have initially brain-mapped ourselves into the energy of the reality, to our little tiny brains, that is “mom” and “dad.” In my life, my recollection of this is so dearly planted, and at times the memories so very painful, and why? Because I could not identify with her role in my life as much as I could my dad’s (he is kind of a brainiac).

I was Daddy’s little princess, and I did not become Mommy’s little girl until I was in 2nd grade. Sure, she might tell you differently, but, this is my remembrance of how it came to be that I would know my mom in her role as mom, and my dad in his role as that person, and how it affects our abilities of communicating what it is that we are trying to utilize in our very most important relationships.

When we are not able to speak our own truths, it is because, I think, of the reward system planted in our heads as children. In my lifetime, as a child, one parent was more encouraging, and the other was the disciplinarian. On the one hand, I was encouraged by both of them to excel in my gifts and talents and the use of them, and on the other hand, I was confused all the time because everything was cause for their God to punish me and that I would end up being sent to hell.

This is how my mother did her mothering for a time – via the fear of God, which I now understand was something that she was able to use as her means of scaring me enough to behave properly (WRONG way to do it, namely if you want your kids to even think to remain with the belief system they grew up with).

I always felt like I was being judged very harshly by her and that most of the time she was picking on me. The realest thing to me then was my own fear of her judgment, but now, I understand that it was not that she was judging me, but that she was still trying hard to get her own parents to at least show her a tiny bit of love that came without condition by trying hard to be the disciplinarian mom (like my grandmother – a Sagittarius – fire, action, catalytic…there is no way my mother, even now, could be a fire sign mom because she is water). She used the phrase “constructive criticism” a lot, which told me that I was a damaged person and would never be right, never be smart enough, good enough, and this equated to my also believing that I had to prove that I was worthy of her SHOW of love.

The way that this always presented itself to me was not what she expected or perhaps had hoped for.I am sure that she thought that what she was doing, because it is how she was shown love by my grandparents (which was without a whole lot of a show of affection…how could they? My Kupuna had six kids!) She did not know until I came around just how difficult it was for her to show affection to others. I am sure that she tried a whole lot to bring herself to that point of that show for me, but, I was not shown this and at a very young age it seemed as though I was more akin to a family pet, perhaps even a show pony. Little did I know or could I have even comprehended that it was not that she did not love me, because I know very well that she did and does. It was that she did not know how to show it properly, and it was because she was not shown it by her own parents the manner that she needed to see it. I know this by her manner of speaking about her own youth, and most of what she says is laden with the energy of discipline as being my grandparents’ ability to love all of their children.

While discipline is a form of Love, it cannot be the only form, because if it is, it will be the only kind that is correct, recognizable and even acceptable.

Think about it.

Love, whether you want to think so or not, is very black and white

Love is black and white.

What I mean by this is that we know when the measure of love that we need is being given to us or withheld from us. What we do not know is the reason why, but, based on how we were each raised will be the way that we form the opinion that will also form the habit which typically happens that represents the energy that we have been presented with as or not as “Love.”

We are rarely truly clear on things. We don’t want other people to hurt, and we also do not want to hurt. We try so very hard to not hurt them by censoring ourselves when we think we need to, and then when it all comes down to the nitty gritty, and we are each in that mode of guardedness, we find ourselves right back at square one, right back to that place where there is confusion, where there is miscommunication, where the hurt is contained.

We also and dearly, the very each of us, cannot believe that anyone else truly and absolutely Loves us. After we have confirmation of this one thing, lots of folks try to find a flaw in it, try to find where it is that we are going to screw things up, where they might not love us anymore because they found out that we are not perfect, that we are merely humans, and that truly, we are as much an imperfect creature as anyone else would be. When it is truly that other people are seeing us, and we are seeing them through the eyes of Love, we are able, NOT to look past the things intentionally done to cause harm, but, instead, to see the truth of them in black and white.

And indeed..inherently and embedded in all Human Beings is this capacity to Love, in black and white, without any bullshit. This is when it is the real thing.

The Truth of Others, in black and white

Our perception of others is based on the things that we have experienced with them, through them.

When we feel a little bit of reservation about people (which, make no mistake, we always do all the time, where strangers and those who have hurt us in the past are concerned), we are, without realizing so, prompting ourselves to seek further answers, to look for a different truth that matches what it is that we are believing.

When we cannot make sense of the truth that we are experiencing (and not one of us has the right to call someone else’s truth about themselves or their experiences “wrong” just because it is not the same as ours is…please – keep reading…) and we are not able to grasp why it is that we are going through something, you can bet that the black and white energy of that situation is going to make itself known to you. This is not my rule. This is the rule of reciprocation, the rule that could be thought of as a transaction, like when you go to the grocery store and you exchange money for goods.

It is this same sort of energy tangibly, but different, because the exchange is ethereal energy rather than tangible things.

That is also where we end up a little bit confused – the idea that we are able to exchange energies, even across great distances. We are able to hone in on the truth of others, if it is that we are particularly close to those others. It is not something that can be avoided, really, if it is that we are that close in energies. It is actually a gift, our abilities towards knowing when those within our Hanai Ohana are hurting, are in turmoil, are in need of some sort of special, loving energy. This output of energies is also the thing that we can learn to utilize in terms of when to just maintain our distance so that our loved ones can recharge themselves (solitude – we all need it from time to time). We all have that need – to recharge. When those closest to us request, whether they do so kindly or sharply, a need for solitude, it is wise to honor it.

It is wise to honor their need in that time for one reason – they have been black and white, most likely, and most likely when they have not been, it is because they do not realize that this is their desire. In black and white terms, we all are in need of this sort of thing, and when we are not given this we lash out and we make things difficult, but mostly for ourselves where they are concerned.

What is also black and white but not quite something that we think about in terms of other people, is the sensations bodily that we feel when we are not sure of the answers that someone else is giving us in terms of who they are in relation to us and our energies. This is when what comes out of our mouth might or might not be believable, and it is not them perceiving what we are saying incorrectly, but our own cue as to us having to learn to discern what is our energy versus what is someone else’s.

When we are particularly close to one other person, as is the case between myself and my other half, it can be confusing in that we cannot discern between what is our own versus what is the others’ and sometimes, it is neither. Sometimes, the things that we feel and sense are the cues coming from the ether, from that place in the cosmos that reaches into our psyche and shows us what we are made of. It is that place that tells us when we are in need of repair, or in need of repairing something that we have done that caused damage to another person. It is within our own symbolism of the visions that we all end up having, the very ones that look like a memory that we would rather not look at again which holds the key to healing that part of our selves, and ultimately our lives. Without this sort of awareness, we float in the sea of confusion until we have created a means by which we are able to, through our own symbolism, understand what it is that we are receiving as a message from the Universe.

Usually the messages from the Universe, while they might scare us, they serve a purpose. That purpose is, through a process of thought born in the brain (and in the case of ANY human female – it is called Critical Thinking…bear it, ladies – we are not biologically able to think in a logical manner. We are emotional beings. Prove me wrong….but I am betting you won’t be able…don’t get ass hurt. Just deal with it and learn about how to think critically. I’ll teach you….) and is totally our own creation, so that we can understand that Love is black and white, on all levels, and that no matter what, we are not able to change it because it has to be allowed to grow.

Once we have looked at the black and the white, we will find there inside of that energy, the truth that is there and is ours.

Truth, while it is ever changing, is also static until we have created better and more believable truths, and truths which feel good and not like we are somehow the world’s biggest fool for wanting to simply just be who we are, truthfully, in black and white….

Where is it in your own life, and in your own thoughts, that you are not practicing the black and white nature of Self-Love and Self-Care, the sort that makes each and every one of us pause for thought, and not pausing for thought of the detrimental sort (we beat the shit out of ourselves over the good opinions of other people, all the time), but pause for thought that has become the truth that we are unaware of as being our own, created through our own means and measure, and the very truth that we do not realize til right this moment that we have been living in.

Please believe your own good, black and white, loving truth about you.

And think, too, about the answer to this question – is your truth about yourself the truth, period? If it is not, can you think of what it is that would make you believe what is someone else’s worn out and outdated truth, perhaps even of the you that you once were?

#LosAngelesKahuna

#PuckingIrishGuysRockShop

#TheCrabAndTheFish

 

 

 

 

 


The New Moon

1NewMoonAries2015_TMB

The moon is one thing that we all have in common every day and night. We look to the sky to seek her soft, comfortable glow. Little do too many of us realize the powerful energy available to us when the moon is new.

The Moon.

Like the Sun behind the darkness of rain clouds, we can guarantee that even if we cannot see her there in the night time sky, She is still there. The moon can be  thought of as “mother,” and the Sun “father.” In our birth charts they are the first two and probably the most important two, along with the rising sign (our game face), of all of the signs and planets and positions in our birth charts.

Yet, there is another part of this…weirdness, another part that lots and lots of people don’t understand.

Yes, the reason that you feel the way that you feel right now IS directly related to the moon, the phase it is in, and…

…what sign your moon sign is in.

You see, whether you want to believe me or not, and whether you want to absorb the idea that every one of us is affected by the moon, her phases and the rest of the planets is not on me to decide.

You can decide that I am full of garbage, and decide that you hold the ultimate fate that you will meet one day, and you can choose to think that I am somehow off of my rocker but I am telling you the truth when I say that we are dearly affected by the moon and the phases that she goes through every month.

“Moon Time”

Women are inextricably connected to the moon and her phases. Our bodies follow the cycle of the moon, and we are dearly affected by it when the energy of the moon changes. The energy of the moon changes when the sign of the moon changes. When the sign of the moon changes, whatever is our personal lunar sign is affected by the qualities of whatever sign the moon is in.

Right now the moon is in fiery Aries. Folks with their moon represented by a fire sign and dependent upon which fire sign it is in will determine their feelings and how those feelings are presented outwardly.

What also affects us is when the sign the moon is in transitions into the next sign. In my case, this last change of signs really messed with me, but because I chose this time to ponder through feeling what I was feeling, and because I chose to make it so that I would be consciously aware of what I was feeling and why, I came up with the reason why I trip out when specifically the moon changes from a water element moon to a fire element moon. Particularly when the moon changes from dreamy Pisces, to action oriented Aries.

When the moon hits your Soul, never mind your eye…

The planets and their energies are all directed by gravity, but you all already know this. The Earth’s gravitational pull is what determines how far or near the moon appears to be during its phases. Again, you already know this.

What you might not know is that, every single day of our lives, we are affected by the moon and the planets and what signs and houses they are in astrologically. For instance, I was born with my lunar sign as Taurus, the bull. Taurus is a fixed, feminine (receptive) sign. The moon rules our inner selves, our emotional selves. When the moon is in a water sign, depending upon which sign and the planets and all that other good, weird stuff, determines my attitude as drawn out emotionally.

The moon is in a masculine (outward and the world can see it) sign in Aries right now. Aries is a cardinal sign, and cardinal signs are about action. Aries is the sign of action, of gettin’ things done, and Aries, for the most part, plows through things, most of the time without thinking about it. Aries is about “Me, myself, and I” (thanks Dr. Standley). Taurus is about leisure and comfort, about the beautiful things in life and how we love and cherish them. Taurus is a fixed sign, and “n the moon,” is the most stable sign emotionally.

When the moon is in a water sign, most of us who have Taurus as our lunar sign will be fine and dandy, again, dependent upon which water sign it is in, and if I had to choose it, I would have to go with Scorpio, because it, too, is a fixed sign (meaning that it will do things this way, feel things this way, think about things this way, and dammit – we ain’t budgin’), and also, Pisces, because it is mutable (meaning that those with a Pisces moon…a Pisces anything, in that house or planet that it sits in, are not totally set on one way and one way only…keep reading…).

When it comes to the Cancer moon, because it is a cardinal sign, my Taurus seems a bit uncomfortable, or maybe it is that my inner Bull does not like the emotional currents of the Cancerian moon.  Wherever it is in my chart, your chart, everyone’s chart that Cancer resides is what makes all the difference in the world.

My Cancer resides in my 12th house. The 12th house scares people because that is where our secrets and everything Karmic is that we have to learn is at. Cancer represents home, hearth and family. If you have read anything by me as presented in my music blog, you would know why I would say that I have never been the most favored in my family, at least on one side of it, and yes, it helped shape who I became.

When the moon is in the sign of Cancer, every little emotional “thing” that affects me about the home, the hearth, nurturing, the family, “mother”…all of it comes crashing into me because the moon in our chart shows us emotionally, who we are. (Again, mine is in Taurus – the most stable sign for the moon to be in, which is a very good thing given my Pisces sun and Leo rising, and hell yes my 12th house in Cancer – the 12th house is ruled by my Pisces).

What the moon is doing when it changes both phases and signs, and wherever it is that our sign is positioned will tell us how we are being affected and why. I just told you about the Cancerian moon, sort of, and here is where I was going with that…

Whatever house it is that the actual moon is in at any given time will absolutely affect us emotionally in whatever house that sign is in. Cancer is ruled by the moon.

When the moon is in Cancer, my 12th house lights up like a Las Vegas billboard and everything within that house that the moon is shining its glow on will be revealed, meaning that all of my secrets and hurts and karma stuff is going to be in my face and I am going to feel every bit of it, given that how we feel is directed by the moon, its phase and the sign that it is in, and also the house, or area of life, it is in in my birth chart.

This does not mean that for those three days that the moon is in a certain phase and sign that I am no longer a lunar Taurean. It means that whatever sign the moon is in, not only will the house that the sign is in will be shed light on, but also, my bull will take on shades of, in this case today, April 18, 2015, the ram, Aries.

That the bull is a fixed sign is one thing, but that the new moon in Aries wants to forge ahead with the things that are near and dear to the Taurean moon in my chart is not a mistake. Right now, I am contemplating where it is that I would like for my hula halau (Dance studio) to be in operation.

For the last five years I have been figuring out what my halau is about (healing from the soul, out), and for the last year, I have been figuring out if I want to continue with the private healing sessions (umm…not primarily, no…how will I get paid only doing this Hula thing that way?), or do I want to go back to group lessons for lunch time sessions (ummm…that’s okay but lately I have not been doing that at all so this means that it is likely time to just restructure that or simply just not have that anymore…remains to be seen), or, if I want to do both of those things AND teach like I have always taught, which is once or twice a week, during the week, for two or three hours split into two days or two or three hours once a week (Probably the latter…again…wait and see…).

What you have just read is not only my Bull (astrologically known as the CEO) thinking, but, the new moon in Aries (the go-to sign…and also the sign of war) getting impatient with me and my Bull for not making things easier so that we can get a move on with it already (this would be the fish in the Sun as Pisces, being a safe little goldfish when really, she is a Shark and needs to be reminded of that…which is the Aries New Moon’s job…)

“What’s your point, Rox?”

My point is that during the new moon phase, and depending upon the sign which the moon is in at the time will determine the things that we are more inclined or not inclined to do and indeed EVERYTHING that is emotionally tied to those inclinations). Right now the moon is in Aries, and as I have already stated, Aries is the sign of action, because it is a fire sign. Fire signs represent action.

Since the Bull in my chart is the CEO, and the fish in my chart is the real me, and the game face in my chart is Leo, the lion (duh…ever seen my hair? There’s a reason my mom used to tell me to brush my hair because I LOOKED LIKE A BABY LION…think about it) and since all of these things point to my creating new ways to implement things in terms of my working life (my moon sits in my tenth house of public life in a career way, my game face in first house allows me to hide the terrified me in Pisces sun when speaking publicly about the terrors of emotional abuse).

Since it is a fiery new moon in Aries, the only thing that all of these things is pointing to is that I need to continue forward, be brave in the face of the naysayers, and not give a shit about what others think of me and my Medicine Dance, my being a teacher of all things “weirdness,” my writing things that I write, and mostly, my being who I really am through it all and in spite of other things.

Of course, there are other things in my chart that will implement this lunar Arien energy right now as it is helping my sometimes “thought-lazy” bull get her okole up to do what she is best at, is helping my stuck-in-an-aquarium-and-convinced-it-is-a-goldfish-but-is-really-a-shark Pisces sun, and making my Leo rising (the high priestess, NOT the queen, at least in this instance) that much more compelled to not only strive for that which She has always striven for (excellence), but to also absorb that which she has earned in terms of knowing one’s self enough to not be taken by it when the moon hits her soul like sometimes it will…

…and sometimes, it will hit the soul like a brick hitting a brittle window and crashes through the rose-colored hue that not a lot of people are willing to try to crack because the Pisces is both the goldfish and the shark, and the Pisces is who will take it all in and for the most part, take it all wrong. The lioness only seeks to be seen.

The Bull?

You can think of her as the one who, solidly grounded in her strength, is the driving force which the Aries new moon pushes to succeed, even in the face of difficult circumstances.

I Love You All

Aloha… ROX 

1Not Your Grandmas Sunday Sermon Meme

Thanks for reading and sharing !

Click here and “like” #TheManaOBlog on Facebook !

My other blogs

The Ghetto Allegory (Weirdness, explained)

…just Rox…  (Ya just gotta read it 😉 )


Un-comfort

futless

When we are in the midst of things that are not making us feel better about things and we are feeling very uncomfortable, it is time for us to take stock of who it is that we are at the moment versus who we used to be.

Being confined to a set scheduled work week is something that I find I have always been very dearly uncomfortable with. It is not because I do not like to work (truth is that I LOVE my work), but rather and only that I do not like confinement, and when I am feeling confined at all, I tend to get a little bit testy.

You see, there are times when “confinement” is not really confinement, and in those times where  it might seem like we are confined to one thing or another, and when it is that we have chosen to see whatever that one thing is as anything BUT being confined, the very word “confinement” takes on a new color – the one called “maturity.” Sometimes we have to deal through our own soul’s immaturity in some manner so that we can see through it and to the light that is the evolved manner we end up as being.

Yet, no one ever tells anyone (and no one ever means it unless they are a teacher of all things strange and weird and not exactly mainstream) that when we are growing and we know we are, that that growth, in some ways, is going to be very uncomfortable, and the un-comfort comes from the familiar things and ways of being that a whole hell of a lot of human beings don’t realize or perhaps even understand that evolving to one’s own higher self takes work, time, tears, and lots of un-comfort.

Un-Comfort

There are a lot of ways that the word “uncomfortable” can be thought as. My thought is that when we are in the middle of a thing that is making us have to wait, making us crazy with impatience and making us think thoughts about things that we would rather not deal with (when in fact we know we are supposed to deal with it all so that we no longer have to deal with it anymore…duh), this is when we are being taught directly by Spirit about what it is that we have been not acknowledging.

Now, not acknowledging things does not mean that we are ignoring them, really. It means that we are just not caring enough to have to deal with it or look at it and in that energy we choose instead to just not bother with that one thing.

But it is precisely that one thing that will continue to bother, continue to be the thing that we would rather not deal with and be the thing that we would hope to the Goddess would just sort of vanish and not be around. If you have been reading this blog for any amount of time at all, you will figure out one thing about it, and that one thing is that in our lives, there is nothing that will not be taught, that we will not be presented with, that will not be in our faces, again and again, over the course of our lifetimes, that, if we are meant to learn it, learn it we will.

And if we choose to not learn it by ignoring that whatever it is exists, we will also find that when it is time for that thing that we refuse to learn to just not be there anymore, that one thing will be the only thing that will present itself in the manner that we have not wanted it to for likely a very long time.

Our own discomfort with our un-comfort is sometimes unbearable.

The fact is that we have all been taught to not look at, not see to, not bother with, not acknowledge all those things that hurt us, that make us cry, make us grit our teeth so as to hold back the bitter and biting tears which, for a lot of us, need to fall from time to time. If they don’t fall, you will not realize the one truth that is apparent to the majority of us and that is that we are all human beings just being who we are.

Who we are is sort of a big fat deal

Of course, there are a folks who will not ever believe this, and that is okay, because those people are the very ones who should be reading this right now because those people are the very people who seem to think that what other people say about them is the truth, namely if it is the sort of thing that is not that flattering.

There are some folks who refuse to believe this because they believe that they are not good enough to have anyone say such things about them. The bottom line is that all human beings have the potential for greatness.In that greatness we have many options that point us in the direction that we are, as guided by Spirit and the very essence of that Spirit which resides within us, meant to be going.

Thing is, while we are growing up we are molded in the image of what is comfortable for those who are raising us into the human being that they want us to become. That is okay, but the other thing is that, whether we like it or not, our children or the kids who we raise have that thing called free will. Free will is that thing that we are all born with.

When we use our free will, we are doing as we are meant to be doing.

There are lot of people on this planet who want other people to believe that there is no such thing as free will. It is that particular group of people who, themselves, were taught and believe that while people do indeed have free will, there are only certain folks who we share the air with who are allowed to exercise it.

The un-comfort comes from our not wanting to let other people down, even if those other people are the sort who would never bother to think that somehow, they are letting anyone else down with who they are, are letting someone else down by not giving that other person the availability of their own free will choices when thinking in terms of relating to anyone else at all. That is really what happens here, when we think about it, when it all comes down to the idea that our un-comfort comes from ourselves in that we want to think that somehow, we are able to save everyone else from having to make uncomfortable choices.

We must learn to accept that we cannot help everyone, because sometimes, everyone needs to simply get a clue

In my life there are people who I am very willing to help. It is because those who are most willing to help themselves are also those who are most willing to help others if they can. This is the utmost highest form of unconditional love – helping others who cannot possibly even try to help us in return, and our not expecting to be helped back for the things that we do out of kindness and out of the Soul of Aloha.

Even as it is the most wonderful thing to be able to help others, namely those who cannot do anything in return for us, there comes a time when we must choose to be our own hero and see in front of us, NOT the opportunity to help someone else, but the opportunity to refer back to who we were. We must  realize that who we are is no longer that person, and take things from that vantage point, rather than the vantage point that makes us tired, that makes us want for something that is not up to us to try to make happen for anyone else without their knowing so.

It is in their knowing so that we come unhinged, as it is also that point where, rather than the soul within us rising up to take notice and take the opportunity to see, it is the ego self who rises to the occasion and it is through that reckoning that we will see, for sure, who we are trying to help more – this other person (because we actually care about their well-being) or our sometimes energy-vampiring ego-selves who need the pat on the back for thinking the thought that we would help anyone else at all and that we would also receive lots of attention for having done so.

When we are in a state of un-comfort, we are in a state of learning about what we have evolved, or perhaps devolved, to.

Change is not subject to our automatically being turned into the super heroes we are meant to become in this lifetime. Hell no.

What we are all given to being given is that we are brought through others all of these things that we need to learn about ourselves. Other people, no matter who they are, mirror for us the people who we are, the people who we are becoming, or the people who we no longer can recognize as being.

When someone makes us uncomfortable, our inner selves tell us so. When we are in the company of people who are meant to be part of our soul tribe, again, we are told by the very soul within us that this person or these people are our tribe and that they have been gifted to us by the very Mother Goddess Herself.

When we take notice, consciously, that we are being shown anything at all, it is time to celebrate because it is within that energy of knowing that we are granted the greatest gift of all…

…the gift of evolving to our higher selves, one uncomfortable situation, person, thing …at a time…

I Love You All !

ROX

1Not Your Grandmas Sunday Sermon Meme

BLOG MEME FOR JUSTROX hula shoot

Thanks for reading !! Aloha ! ROX

 


Willingly, Walk…

firewalk

The only way to heal from anything at all is to run headlong into the proverbial fire and willingly walk through it to the other side

If there is anything at all that I dislike, more than anything else, it is waiting for something that I know is going to happen, to ultimately happen. Of course, every human being on the planet is always waiting for something, and really, the waiting that I am writing about is the sort that we wait for what seems like a lifetime. In my case, it is the end of one part of my life that will, when it happens, bring to a stop a whole lot of other things that somehow have the same sense of energy attached to it. I totally understand the idea that some things have to happen for other things to happen, it doesn’t mean that on the way to those other things happening that we will not end up having human being type moments, and the sort that reintroduce to us, sometimes through the same people or situations they’d come to us in the first place, to the pain through the harm that most people seem just to put in the back of their minds until later when they think they can deal with it.

Later, I find, rarely, if ever, comes.

Waiting until later is not an option

Okay, so that is not entirely the truth. We can always wait until “later” to fix the things within us that are bothering us all the time, or we can just choose to not believe that we can do anything about those things at all and through that choice will continue to experience things that do not resemble change that we can witness in our own lives and in our own selves.

This is not something that I just made up a few minutes ago, but is rather and only something that came as a realization to me over time that told me that this time, when I felt the pull of the Universe beckoning me in certain directions, and when it was that those directions that I have been pulled in landed me somewhere familiar but was also harmful I started to believe that in order for us to experience the changes that we so dearly seek out, the first order of change has to be within.

Okay, so I didn’t just figure that one out.

I already knew that one. I suppose that the thing that I figured out is that even when it is that we believe that everything that we need in order to further our own selves is in order, there is always that chance that we have missed a step, have overlooked something, or, in my case, simply just do not want to deal with those things any longer. I just do not want to deal with people who like to harm others, and I just can no longer tolerate the harsher energies of them, but in order to not feel the energy at a constant, I have to willingly feel the energy of right now.

The energy of right now tells me that I am almost “there,” even though I am not really that sure about where exactly “there” is, even though, too, the “there” that I have arrived at up to this point has been magnificent, has not been the sort of “there” that was not welcomed and was and is indeed the “there” that is the most “welcome home” feeling I have ever known.

The “there” in that one very uniquely special and particular manner is good, great, awesome like nothing else, is rock solid, is what it was meant to become to this point, there are other “theres” that I have come to recently, and, as well, those are as nice and needed and almost as reassuring as the welcoming energy is and that was already described a few sentences ago.

It is the rest of the “theres” that, while I am not having trouble with, at least not at the level where I know that I am stopping my own flow, the part that I am having trouble with is the not knowing when the end result will be, because always, and with exception to the first “there” in this set of “theres” that you have thus far read about, there is always going to be that measure of having to prioritize what is seen to next.

I will be honest with anyone at all when I say that the reason the next “there” that I need to get to is not more than it is right now is not for any other reason than that really, I just have hoped for so long that it would just simply roll out of my life like a turd rolls downhill, but, nope…looks like I have more work to do with it, and I am fine with it, even though I have been working with it rather than working on it.

One does not work with the flames across which they will walk; they work on them so as to make them as hospitable as possible, given that it will be their bare flesh on the soles of their proverbial feet that will literally feel the majority burn. Too many people will tell others that it is all left up to mind being over matter at any given time, but when it comes to the things that matter the most to us in terms of what we no longer want in our lives, care and time must be taken, just as much as care and time must be taken in order that we have other, more pleasant things in our lives to look forward to.

It takes times for a home to be situated in the manner that the residents prefer so as to make it as welcoming to them as it can be, even as the home itself is new to them, their own waking lives are not.

It takes time for someone whose entire life has been marred by emotional harm from others to be able to poke their heads out of the hiding places they have created within them so as to breathe in the daylight and to know that they are not alone, and time to actually learn to trust themselves to trust other people. I know this one personally. It takes time for anyone at all who has gone through anything at all to not think in the manner they thought that may well have brought them to this place where they are now.

This place where I am now

I could sit here and tell anyone at all the dramatic story of my life to this point, but I am bored with telling it. More than that, I am sick and tired of reliving the crap that I went through just to get to this point.

Believe me when I tell you that strange things happen in my life all the time, but that I could not have seen my life at this point being how it is right now and in the manner that it is right now is the strangest thing of all.

I am ecstatic and thrilled for many areas of my life, because those areas are working like somehow, to this point, this is what I was meant for, these are the people who are meant to be with me at this point, and this is the way that things are going to be from now on. I could sit here and think only about those things, which would be really nice if that were possible. And really, it is possible, but, just as much as those things are possible, to deny the things which need my attention simply because those things are possible is careless and reckless and most human beings cannot just turn a blind eye from the things that they know need their attention.

While it is that we all know that certain things absolutely need our attention, there is that thing about us all that makes it so that we would rather NOT look at those things or work on those things and sometimes, the work is NOT about making those things tangibly change but is about accepting that change is happening now and happening whether or not we are ready for it to be that way.

You see, when the Mother Goddess needs us to be all we are able to be, versus all that She knows we are already, She presents us with a lesson. Right now, my lesson is NOT about what people think of me and not about what I can do for anyone else and is all and only about my being able to accept things as they are slowly…sloooooowly….coming into being.

Thing about all that is that I have accepted things like they are for so long now that I have to now retrain my brain to not be so tolerant of the things that I have been through and that I have allowed into my life through that measure of tolerance of people who believe that because of one factor or another, they are somehow allowed to be …icky.

Icky People and Karma

I know how Karma works. It is all about the intention. It is the reason why any teacher of weirdness will tell anyone at all to be careful what they wish for because they might get that one thing. The other thing that no one ever thinks about is that every thought we think carries energy, and if the strength of emotion behind that thought is pure and regardless if whether that thought is perceived as “good” or “bad” is how anyone at all creates their own Karma.

I have written a whole LOT about Karma and the way that I know it works. What no one thinks about though is that when we are teaching anyone about Spirit, most of us do not think, too, that we need to explain this karma thing a little bit better than we have been, and the way that we have been explaining it for too long already is that “what comes around goes around,” and there are a shit  load of (ahem) “religious types” who like to put it in our faces that when we piss God off, we stand to go through hell-fire and brimstone and that is that.

(What an awful, shitty,pansy-ass way of manipulating people.)

Reality is that, as I have stated in the past numerous times, whatever it is that we truly and dearly want for someone else, no matter what it is, we will end up with that, for sure, but also, for real, we WILL END UP FOR SURE ALSO HAVING TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE WHAT WE HAVE WISHED ONTO SOMEONE ELSE…of course, there are those times when we are trying to balance things and in balancing things we have to do things that we have to do, because really, there is no other way about doing things.

We are not really told, at least not point blank, that in order to walk the walk, we not only need to heed our own talk, but, we also have to truly be willing to walk that walk, meaning that we HAVE TO walk through the fires that burn us to our very core selves before we can rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

We have to be able to tell others what it was like for real, what happened in our lives that would bring us to this point where we are on our feet but feel like we are on our knees and begging for mercy when in reality, the only thing that we actually have to do is stand up and become stand alone.

Can’t walk if you are in the crawling position.

In order to walk one must be able to stand.

In order to stand, one must have the strength to brave the coals beneath your feet, looking only at the end of the fire walk, to the ocean which waits on the other side.

Once it is that we stand and walk, we also allow a change in perspective. Once we have a change in perspective, and once the paradigm within us regarding anything at all has changed, we can begin seeing where it is that we ultimately will be in the very near future so long as we willingly walk the path of fire.

So do yourself a favor…get up off of your knees…you have no one to beg anything of…

…stand…and walk…willingly

I Love You All !

ROX

BLOG MEME FOR JUSTROX hula shoot

1Not Your Grandmas Sunday Sermon Meme

PISCESWATERELEMENT

Please visit randyjaybraun.com – click the photo

 

 


Them’s Fightin’ Words

 

1Fightin words meme3

Every human being on the planet has within them a certain set of ideals, morals, values, and the like, and when someone crosses the line with any one of us, we end up angry, even wanting some semblance of revenge on them. When they “bring it,” it is like they have approached us with those things called “Fightin’ Words”

On more than only one occasion, I have been known to get very dearly angry with a person, usually another woman, and usually because of something she has said, or, more, something that said woman has said to someone else. It is not until that someone else, without their even knowing what my response will be to finding out what I did not know that they do know, which will elicit within me, within anyone, dependent upon the nature of whatever it is that is being told, some sort of emotional response.

The Energy of The Emotional Response, versus the Energy of the Emotional Reaction

Here I go again, with the “response versus reaction” thing. It is a very important thing that we each and all know that there is a huge world of difference between a response and a reaction.

Responding to something means that we have thought about whatever it is that we are supposed to think about. It means that we have stepped outside of our emotional selves, have become a third party observer to the thing that we, because we are human, have honed our skills for using a response or a reaction in any situation. Most situations, whether anyone wants to believe me or not, call for a response. Embedded in any response, regardless of how much we would much rather react, is the energy called logic.

Logic, very simply, is nothing more than sound reasoning. Sound reasoning is that thing that a LOT of people have no real clue about, or real clue about using, because they have only been taught to get good and egotistically angry. The reason that people get good and egotistically and arrogantly angry is because in all of the things that they have been told, or perhaps have found out through others, the one thing that they were never thinking about is the idea that maybe what has been said is wrong, that absolutely the thing that has set anyone off at all may well be someone else’s truth but is so not our own, that when we hear it, read it, talk about it, the thing that goes right into play IS the ego.

Now, we all know that the ego is NOT what we have been taught that it is . The ego, regardless of what you think it is, is more akin to the thing that I refer to as being “the game face.” Someone who I am very endeared to refers to this as our “mask,” and that person is correct in stating that when we leave our homes and go out into the coldness of the strange world in our midst, we – yes, women, too – bolt on our protective masks.

In donning said mask, we hide from the world what are our vulnerabilities. Women have a much easier time with just such a mask, because we women actually get to literally put our game face on everyday, if we are the sort who like to put our faces on everyday with what we will.

And me being who I am for real, even if I try to explain to them the reality that is not only NOT “putting on” one’s face, but also, the maintaining of the body beautiful in all manner that we can, from sleep and diet, to more spiritually inclined daily routines, all these women think about is that I told them all of this stuff about putting on one’s face everyday. It is like they want to believe that somehow, I am taking a shot at them, when in reality, given that I am very careful when dealing with another woman’s ego, I am merely telling them the truth.

That is where things turn into what are called “fightin’ words.”

Fightin’ Words

Depending upon how you, the reader, “hears” my voice when you read these lessons is what will determine your own reaction on every level. On every level we each and all need…NEED to check ourselves before we ultimately wreck ourselves, because I cannot use a better example of this lesson than to use any woman’s belief that she NEEDS to wear make up. I am sorry ladies, but that is not the truth. NO woman actually NEEDS to wear make up.

But a woman cannot tell another woman this, at least not in the “in your face” way that I have tried hard not to in this writing, because sometimes, humans, sometimes women type humans, don’t believe what is someone else’s truth about really anything at all.

Am I saying that women should not wear make up? Nope. I am saying that with a little bit of research, and a lot of learning to look past the mask we each wear, beneath the veneer of …stuff… that lots of us put on every morning is the realness, is the beauty that is only contained within that one person.

Yet, again, when something that we want to believe is challenged, it is automatic that we WILL go into fight mode, our ego out in the open, vulnerable to attack, even though it is the very thing within us which makes us believe that something as trivial as IF we wear or do not wear make up is a choice as opposed to the lie that we all have believed for too many years already – that any one of us actually needs to wear make up.

It is like any one of us human type beings needing to make certain that we are hurt, or mad, or feeling stupid, and in those emotional ways of being and sensing and feeling, we believe we are more inclined and more…justified… to strike at someone, so that they will hurt, and that they will have to have yet one more thing that they will have to deal with, and lots of us believe that we are right in acting on that one thing…you know, because that other person did something or said something that might make our ego feel a little more bruised than we are okay with.

I am not saying to think in terms of being a pansy-ass about things. I am saying to think about the other shoe, on the other foot, and think, too, about what it is that you are really doing or saying that you want to do, and understand that while I may never know the truth beneath it all, there is one other person who does know – and that person is you.

…and you DO know…I PROMISE you indeed know what is your own truth about what is prompting you to react to what are someone else’s Fightin’ Words

This is not my telling a soul that you are not allowed to be mad, hurt, whatever. This is me telling the world that each of us needs to think about why it is that we are really angry to begin with, why it is that we would want to do something or say something to anyone else that would make us think that we have made things “right”, especially when we think we have lost anything at all.

This is me telling anyone at all that when we operate from a place where we can only recall how foolish we felt or how hurt we were, that the last thing we need to do is lower ourselves to the level of tangibility, to the level that is going from the primal urge to want to get even, to the level that is making it seem as though somehow, we have won.

While it is that you may well be right in your energy, if it is that you are planning to do anything at all from a place that is for anything other than the reality of what is really happening, and we decide that we know what is best for someone else, that we are going to be the harshest lesson for anyone else at all, this is when we NEED to stop and think about the real reason behind it.

When we think we need to strike out at anyone, namely when there is really nothing actually or tangibly lost in a situation, we are wrong. Period. When we do those things that are born of that angry energy, of that energy produced by a dented ego, and we do something that we think is making things right, all we are really doing is serving our ego’s needs, and in serving our ego’s needs that are not the needs that make it whole again through means that are not vengeful, we are only serving ourselves a nice dish of shit soup called Karma that we have created through unbalanced energy of anger and vengeance.

Our ego’s needs are not what we want to believe that they are.

When the ego is large and in charge, we cannot see past it. When our ego is the thing that we have always operated from, and the only thing that we know to do is what we have always done, and a situation presents itself in the manner that will poke the bear, so to speak, and we believe that we are the ones who are going to be the ultimate teacher in a lesson we want to also believe that will control an outcome, and we want to think that somehow, we are justified…well, we shall say that it is like making certain for ourselves that whatever our real reason is behind any action at all is also something that we want to experience.

This is really the reason that I will tell any other human being at all that before they act upon an idea that they really think is a good way, not to do anything more than to get even with someone, or to make them hurt more, or to do something at all that gives us a shit-eatin’ grin because inherently we know that we did or want to do what it is that we have come up with that seems justifiable, we are wrong.

And more than that, imagine this if you will. Imagine that you have gone through something ugly with one other person, and then one day, someone else comes into the picture. While we might well be very happy that we have come into contact with this one other person, and while it is that we believe we are over what we also believe the last person did “to” us, and we act in the manner that we think is deserved by anyone else?

Ummm…I can say this much, and it is from experience – when we do things that we think or say are for one reason, and the reality is a completely other reason, and we want to make it known that no one gets to get one over on us AND get away with it, and we choose to make it tangibly so, even though we KNOW that all the time, Spirit has our back?

I don’t know…let’s play with more scenarios, shall we?

Would you like it if someone did to you what has happened to them? Would you like it if, while only thinking about your own perception of what you want to believe is the loss of face through someone else, you ended up losing what means the very most to you?

What if that which means the very most to you is another human being? What if it is that in your own deep-seated rage you are trying hard to get around the idea that, yes, someone else did you dirty, and someone else made you mad, and someone else did all these things to hurt you and that ultimately revealed who they are to you, that in all of these great ideas that you think are going to make everything better, you end up ultimately losing, because the reality of the other person who means nothing to you now was bigger to you – the getting even part, that is – than is what was born of that perceived loss?

The Baby Born of the Perceived Loss

Let me show you a few things here, before I leave you to ponder the last time you got into a tussle or even decided that you were right and that the only thing to do so you would not feel like you were some sort of great big dummy was to exact some sort of revenge.

Actually, it’s a few questions I would like you all to think about asking you, and I would like for you to do so prior to trying hard to make a reasonable excuse as to why it is that you feel the need to get revenge on anyone at all, namely if the anyone at all is someone who you are just not even dealing with anymore. And yes, there are LOTS of other ways to balance things back to normal, and none of it includes the luxurious decadence of getting your own revenge on anyone else, because really, vengeance is not ours. It is that of Spirit’s…please, read on

If you were in another person’s shoes, and you knew that the other person was already in a very bad way, and you still went ahead and did what you thought in your own human limited thinking, that what you will do will somehow make it known not to screw with you, if that were you, would you have the balls to go through what they are going through right now? Would you take it as being your lesson brought to you by Spirit, or would you take the easy way out and blame it on someone else, even if the way that things got to this point indeed included your hand?

If you were hurting and desperate, and you only had the sun in the morning to look forward to, and the rest of your life was nothing but a dark and lonely void, with you completely knowing that you have to get out of this lesson and learn it all on your own, and you did not have someone there to teach you what it is that is your own way and a way that does not bring hurt to anyone else, would you want to go through what it is that you might be thinking to give to anyone else at all?

If you lost what you, at one point, felt was the thing that made your life so much better, only to find out that it was anything but, and you could not look at your own place in all of the things that made things turn out as they are right now, would you want to have to deal with more, and more than that, do you really think you would be able to without also thinking that you might want to die instead? Could you handle knowing that the one tiny little thing that you felt would justify it all caused another person to act upon taking their own life?

Yes, I do know that fightin’ words are what they are, even though the words, when they are said by someone else, might not be what we think they are. It might well be that the other person is SO blinded by what it is that they think is right, that the person saying them is in such a desperate way that they will say what is their ego’s first thing to say.

If we do not bother to take the entire whole into consideration, including and especially the fact that when we are dealing with a whole LOT of humans who share the planet with us, we cannot go to that place that makes us believe that every person who we come into contact with is what we are, which is hopefully stand alone, strong, brave and filled with integrity.

Usually that is not the case, meaning that when it comes to the fightin’ words of others are the very things that can make or break us, even if we do not believe they can. Being made or broken is not the thing, but rather the catalyst. More than that, when we are waiting for the good things, good and tangible things, and we are still hanging on to whatever stupid bullshit that we are hanging on to in hopes that one day, we might be able to exact our revenge because we have not yet let it all go?

Yet we only think in terms of what will justify, for us, or at least we think, the most perfect means by which we will make our position known. But that is not balanced, and is instead, something other than balanced. Balanced means that no one leaves the situation feeling any worse. Justification through means we know are very hurtful is anything but “just.”

The thing is NOT getting even to relieve your own pain, but being able to justify within you if the other person’s words really have any affect on us in a personal, emotional way and in a way that truly will affect us in a physical manner on a daily basis. If the only emotion that you are feeling when you come up with your own solution is dependent upon the solution being the thing that teaches anyone else not to screw with you, I have news for you…

…that’s called revenge, and even I know how sweet it is…

However, sweet things have a tendency or at least the ability to make us sicker than we can imagine, sometimes chronically so.

Think about it

I Love You All !

ROX

1Not Your Grandmas Sunday Sermon Meme

BLOG MEME FOR JUSTROX hula shoot

Click on the pictures to read the blogs!

Mahalo for reading!


It doesn’t even matter

2008-Housing-Market-Crash

The things which we no longer have are the things which no longer matter. The hurt which remains is there to teach you something about you.

“I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter…I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.” (Linkin Park’s “In the End”)

I lost my house in Helendale in July of 2008. While it hurt a bit, I cannot lie and say that the world was over with for me, because it wasn’t. I realized quite early on afterwards that it was meant to be like this. It was meant that I would no longer be in that place for the purpose of my having to begin the process of shedding what was once real to me.

What was once real to me was not for me to become very attached to, because in becoming attached to it all, I would suffer the worst hurt ever, which would be the stinging blows to the pride within me that would tell me that somehow, I deserved to lose everything that I thought mattered to me. And again, I cannot lie – the house, while it mattered to me a little bit, the idea that I lived where I lived mattered to me a whole lot.

Where I lived was a huge source of pride for me, but here I am, years later, and I realize that what was the source of pride was not what I thought it was, but rather and only the illusion of what was, versus what it became. What it became was a monster of proportions so huge and so…untamed…that for at least one person who used to live in that house, the loss of it was something that they’d felt on levels that not a lot of people would feel if they were not so attached to that tangible item.

And really, that is truly what any actual standing building that a person or a group of people would live inside of and call home. It is not the actual building, but what it represents. For me, the house represented a place where memories would be made, with neighbors who were some of the most pleasant people I had ever known.

Yet, here I am, seven years later, almost, and things have changed markedly.

I no longer care about the house that I no longer owed a lot of money on. The only memories that I have of that place that can be called good and real are the ones of my kids, of my hula halau, of the treasure called friends who, when I thought about it, are two of the very best people I know and two people who I love immensely. While I no longer own all the vehicles, no longer have access to the golf course, the lakes, I have what can never be taken from me.

I have me.

I have this me.

Losing something as big as the family home is not something that I hadn’t been through at least once in my lifetime, and that is probably why I was okay the day that I have to pack up my entire house, without the help of certain others, and leave that life behind. The reason that life had to be left behind and the reason why that life and the loss of it no longer matters is because even in all of that loss, the one thing that was gained by me was not just “this me.”

I gained, through the losses, the reality of two people who, no matter what, have always been there for me (Hi April…Hi Tim…I Love You Guys!) Through that loss, I regained and revived and recreated hula to become what, for me and a lot of people like me, it was meant to be, which is not a Polynesian review show, but medicine. I gained, through that hurt, a new lesson to work through and to turn into The Sisterhood of The Soul, and through that group of healer women who are also my cousins, have created what is the beginning of things as they ought to be.

And that is not the only loss that I gained from, really. I gained the bravery to confront my abuser, to tell him that we are done and that within but a very short time here now, it will be on paper. I gained the knowledge that even as I have been the very one to have to learn to heal me, without the hurt of feeling like my own blood relations skipped out on me when things got to be really too much for me to deal with, I gained the right to call myself a strong, Stand Alone Human Being.  This does not mean they all skipped, because the ones who mattered the most never did. It just seemed that way at times.

Seriously…in the end, it doesn’t even matter

When we are able to get past the hurt, and when we are able to look at the dragons which once invaded our waking life and our sleeping dreams, and when we can see things from a new perspective, this is when things that we thought mattered no longer matter as much. It is when we realize that we have learned what we are meant to learn from any given situation that our lives will begin to blossom.

For instance, not too long ago, I was very upset with my parents, and it was over something that was a source of pride for me. I won’t go on with what it was all about. I will just state here that the last time that hurt visited me was yesterday, and when I say the last time, I mean exactly that.

I mean that no matter what it is that I want to do for them or for anyone else, the one person who I need to do the most for is me. This is not my telling anyone that you have to be selfish, because being selfish is very counterproductive.

What I mean is that, once we let go of the grip that we have on certain ideals, on certain things that we think we have to have be a certain way, on things that we believed mattered for so long and which really do not matter in the manner that they once mattered, we are, at that point, in a stage of growth. The sooner that we really wrap our heads around this, and the sooner that we accept this one thing, the sooner we will find out the reason that we hurt for so long.

Vice Grip

Lots of us like to have a vice-grip on things that we ought to not have said grip on. When we choose the energy onto which we will hang we have to remember that there are good reasons to hang onto it, and then there are all the other reasons. 

We each have our own reason for hanging on to the energy, or, on the other side of that, allowing the energy to have its vice-grip on us.

There are times when this grip is welcomed, when it is needed and when it is pleasant, and then there are all the other times.

There are times when it is that we do not want the vice-grip loosened, when we would rather bathe our own selves in that energy because it is so very welcoming and so very…much a part of us…that to release it would cause our own energy field a whole lot of havoc…then, there are all those other times.

It is all those other times that we need to help ourselves understand why it is that we want to believe that we are meant to hang onto it.

Recently, one of those two very good friends ended his own struggle with a vice-grip energy that was not an energy that would have helped him grow into the person who he is becoming. It took us months to realize that what he was seeking had been so easily attained that once it was that he was able to allow this vice-grip to no longer have him in that bind of hurt, things just seemed to be much lighter for him. He’d have never made it through the same lesson one more time. It would have wrecked him for the rest of his life in many more ways than only one.

On my part and in my life, even as there is a very lovely vice-grip energy that I am lucky to have whenever I can get it, there is the other side of that, which is the side and the thing which prompted this writing today.

Too many teachers of the Divine seem not to tell their charges that things will be harsh before they are not, and the harshest lessons of all are the ones which come from the people who have been in our lives for years and years. On my part of all of this other side of the energy stuff, my biggest challenge over the course of my life has been trying hard to get my blood relations, at least a lot of them, to take me seriously, to have some semblance of respect for at least how I feel, let alone who and what I am, and to take some measure of self-control when speaking of things that at one time meant something to me and which, at this time, I realize, don’t even matter to me as much as I thought it all did.

Why? Because I know that I am not meant for those things, at all, and until I woke up this morning, it did not dawn on me that what I was being taught has been learned, and that what I did not want to accept was accepted a long time ago in that, I am a healer, a writer, a scientist, a spiritualist…and no where in all of those things does anyone read the word “marketing person.”

Even though that is what I used to be, and in some ways still am (someone has to promote me and my girls…we do fine doin’ it all on our own), in that capacity, the one that I started out with their offerings, I am no longer.

That me no longer fits this me’s life and this me’s needs and this me needs things to be a lot more organized for this me to be satisfied with life in that respect. This does not mean that I have no respect for what this set of people are doing. It means that I no longer have to voluntarily obligate me…this me…to their bidding, even as I easily and readily lend myself to their success.

That You is not This You

You know very well that not one of us, at least not without the help of someone experienced in past life regression, can go back in time, at least not for real. We can visit there, and we can take a few moments there, but you have got to admit that even though right now, for myself included and to a limited extent, might suck beyond all which else that sucks, you have to admit that you would so much rather be this version of you than that other you.

That other you was weak in many areas of your own life, and that other you was someone who, from time to time, you did not even like very much. That you did things that this you would never dream of doing, because this you has built a wall of integrity that cannot be demolished by anyone but this you.  This you loves who you are becoming, and that old you..well, that you no longer exists.

That You no longer exists

Believe me or not, the reason that for some of us, life seems to be very difficult right now is because many people don’t realize that the reason things do not work like they once did in the past is because you are now this version of you, and this version of you cannot do things any longer that the old version of you used to do. 

That might be a little hard for you to wrap your head around, and it takes time to ease into the new you, but once it is that you have done just said such easing into things, you will find that you cannot do things like you used to do them. You will find that it is hard to fit into your old lifestyle, with the same type of people who used to be the people who you would do anything for.

You will find out that even though this you requires a little more than the old you did, once you get the hang of it, you will not look back, ever, and neither will you want to. You will learn that there are times which require you to return to pieces of that old you, but in those times you will be beside yourself with wonder because even using some of what was you, even in that instance, it is the new and improved you. 

I cannot lie – I would love nothing more than to no longer live where I am right now, but, the fact of the matter is that, the old me – she is who used to live in that big fat house on the golf course in the desert, and she is who would be hurt by the words that she is reading right now, and that me would pretend that anything else offered in the way of a new place to live would be just fine, even though that me, on the inside, would be dying a death of the ego on many levels.

This me, however, has been actively looking for that new place where new memories, with all of the right people, are going to be made, and this me, while she can be markedly impatient for good things to happen, knows, just because she is this me, that the perfect house where all of these great things will happen is just waiting to tell me that it is the right one for us. This me might be a little on the strange side (a little?), but this me loves me, and this me takes no shit from anyone when in regards to this me and what this me knows is right for me. 

In the end, our losses are meant to teach us to become the best versions of ourselves. Our pain is not meant to live on forever, and is there to make us aware that we are in need of some “me maintenance.” Our past hurts are meant to remind us that we have been through what we needed to go through in order to get to the person who we are becoming, and the people who we are each becoming are meant to go through this crap called loss, pain, hurt, all so that we can recognize what they are and more, recognize the things that are NOT meant to hurt us. 

Me and This Me need to get things moving right along for the day… please make sure that you know what is worth having a vice-grip on, and more, what you will allow to have a vice-grip on you.

I Love You All !

ROX

THe Ghetto Allegory for Mana'o Blog

JustRoxMemeForBlog

Dolphins_Mana_O_Blog_Meme

Click the pictures to read the blogs !!


Sometimes…

For what it is worth, sometimes, things happen that, even as we do not know where to go or what to do after the fact, we know that no matter what, it is actually for the best

Things happen sometimes at the most awful time that they can. This past week has been no exception, and my thought is that it is not only myself who has seen things happen that maybe needed to happen. As much as that might suck to read, and more, to have to deal with accepting, the truth of things is that sometimes, what we want is not what we need, because what we want has the real potential of not only getting in the way of our purpose and mission, but more importantly, it also has the potential to turn us into someone and something that we are not.

When it comes to the words of others, to the promises made by them, to the things that we are willing to hear, to accept, to listen to and to believe, the one thing that we cannot ever forget is to remain true to who we are. That is the most important thing that any one of us can do for ourselves, and the sad thing is that too many of us give up who we are for the purposes of trying to please or even appease others. That isn’t what we are supposed to be doing. What we are supposed to be doing is lifting each other up. We are not supposed to be judging each other, not supposed to play this global match of “the bossa you,” and for the most part, even though things, at this juncture in time, suck okole, the truth is that we are not different in a manner that we are not supposed to be, because the truth is that sometimes, things really do happen for a reason, and the reasons that things happened in the manner that they did in these last few days is because of one thing – to make us see what we are supposed to see.

Do you now see what you are supposed to see?

Some folks might think that I am being harsh right now, and maybe I might be, but the fact of the matter is that when it comes to the things that we try hard to not become, and when it is that something has been presented to us that seems like it is a good thing, and then when we find out that what we wanted was not what we thought it would be, let alone that what we wanted we really, really desired,  we become someone who we are not.

This is not my saying that if this past week, something that happened that damaged your property was what you deserved, but it is my saying that there are some of us who have gone on the deep end of things, thinking that when we heard what we heard, that all of our issues with our lives and all of our bullshit that we didn’t want to look at finally surfaced, the one thing that was left at the bottom of the everything that we hoped and wanted and wished for was who we really are. Who we really are, whether it is to ourselves or to anyone else, becomes tarnished with the energy that is the opposite of the things that we were willing to become, even though those things are not who we really are, we find out that it is not that someone else, that anyone else, needs to change for us, but that we need to really think about changes that need to happen for ourselves and by our very selves before we can add anyone else into the mix of the madness that is our own personal lives.

Our own personal lives

Let’s look at the example that is a new love between two people who have …well, a jumblefuck, really…of a life outside of those two. Now, don’t get me wrong – within relationships there are always going to be those little things that are meant to be there to keep folks in check and to keep them somewhere between the reality that is, and the reality that is in manifest, and the reality that is a memory – this will always be there, no matter what, and now matter what, it is up to the people involved in any relationship, no matter what kind, to take care of those things as best they can.

The issues do not happen until there comes an imbalance and a level of expectation by one, by both, that allows the tarnishing nature of entitlement and expectation to become the only thing that is allowed to be seen by others. It is not something that can be hidden, because when it happens, we don’t realize that it is happening.

We become these…morons…who think that we know what is best for anyone else and only in accordance to what it is that we want and need and desire. We can barely see past our own wants and needs, and we can barely allow ourselves to step aside from it, and we can barely feel our soul as it tries so very hard to breathe, to live, and to get out of the things that we think are meant to stop something from happening, when in reality, they end up being the very cause.

Sometimes, things just are not meant to be what we want them to be

Sometimes, we have got to look at things from a new place. We have to deal with not only what someone else did, said, made light of, but, we also have to deal with the fact that what we wanted, versus what we knew to be the truth, were not in alignment in many ways, with the most important way being that no matter how much we tried to make things happen, they just would not, and not because of anything more than that what it was that we wanted was not going to be beneficial for us, at all, and no matter how much we tried and tried, it was just not going to happen.

We could dream of things how we want them to be, but what we see in those dreams, for the most part, are only indicative of the things that we are desirous of and might not be the thing that we want to have happen. You will know when it is meant to happen because it will be easy, there will be almost no work, no effort at all, involved. There will be no talking anyone into anything. There will be no having to bargain with people, no bargaining with yourself. It will just happen. It will just be.

Things that are supposed to be will just be

I know that a lot of us want things to happen for us in the manner that we think they ought to, but lots of times, Spirit has another plan for us, and lots of times, those plans do not include the things that we think ought to happen.

Spirit is not beholden to our plans, to our thoughts, to the things that we want, but She is very dearly attached to our purpose, our mission with others, the things that we both want AND need in our lives, but we humans are so adept at getting in our own way most of the time that we cannot see past the goal that we have intended, and while that goal might be good for us and what we want, that goal may well not be the thing that is needed all the way around.

Sometimes it is better that we have lost, because in that loss we find things that were not apparent when we were blinded by what we wanted versus what was the best thing for us.

I Love You All !!

ROX

Snarliung fear meme wolf mana o blog meme

Click on the wolf to like The Mana’o Blog on Facebook!

1MANA_O_BLOG Drunken Hula Meme

Click the picture for more information


The Longer the Wait…

The one thing that no one thinks about when it is that we are waiting for things to happen for us instead of to us is that, the bigger the blessing, the longer the wait.

If you have been studying matters of a Spiritual sort, for any amount of time at all, the one thing that, at this point in time, we should all be grasping hold of, right this minute, is that, the longer that we have to wait for things to change, and the more we have to wait for, pine for, worry over things, and the more that we have to turn to the Goddess for solace, and the more that we trust on the flow instead of pushing against it, the bigger the blessing for us. I do not have to prove this, because I live this, daily.

If we were to stop for a moment, and instead of only seeing the things that have happened that were not that great, and if we could, instead, put together the puzzle of things that, to this point, led us right here where we are a jumbled mess of worry, where we are not trusting ourselves, ourselves to be good enough and ready for the blessing, we would learn, very quickly, that what we are about to have at our disposal, and what we are to know that is our reality and our truth, we would learn easier also to just breathe and to go with the flow of life.

Is this me telling anyone at all to not worry, to not have issues with the idea that yeah – a whole hell of a lot of us have been through a whole hell of a lot for a hell of a long time, myself included?

Nope.

This is me telling anyone at all that instead of questioning anyone else about what the hell they are going to do, to question ourselves as to why it is that me, you, anyone at all, would not follow the pattern that has been set for us each and all and to pay attention not to the things that we did not have or get, but to the things that we know are ours and on their way to us.

Sometimes, it takes our simply believing

Well, actually, all the time it takes us to simply believe that, when we have a need, or a desire, that we are good enough for the blessing, that the blessing will come just when it is meant to and not when we think it should. This is in no way telling anyone at all that you should not worry, because yes, I know, we live in the real world while our feet are planted on each side of the veil between worlds. This is my telling anyone at all that when it comes to things like waiting for our day to celebrate, that we need to take into consideration the size of the things that we know are on their way to us, that we need to really think about how ready we really are for those things, or if, in fact, we are ready for those things at all?

We need to think in terms of the whole, and not only about our singular tiny personal worlds, the worlds that are the biggest thing to us. Is this my getting after you like someone’s mama? Maybe, but really, it is more like teacher is telling you that she cannot tell you the answer, will not tell you what you want to hear, but also telling you that you have been here before, not perhaps with these same people, and not perhaps with this same issue, but absolutely, you have been here.

You have been here

You have been here, in this place where you are as scared as you are going to be, and you have been here, right where you are, afraid, pissed off, believing that the world and the Goddess are having a laugh at your expense. You have been here where the pain is the most tumultuous thing to you, where the worry and the confusion and the things that are marring your very existence at this moment are the things that seem to be eating you alive, from the inside, out.

The one thing that I am asking that you do is to go back in your memory and see there how it was that you have handled things in the past and know, now, that that is NOT how you are supposed to handle them anymore. It is not that easy trying to handle the same things NOT in the same manner that in the past you may have handled them. It is not easy to not be the habitually driven creature that you are at this point, and that, too, is part of this tumult – to help you create a new method, a new manner, and thereby also creating a new energy by which you will have the chance in the future to go to in order to get through things with a little more ease than you might well have in the past.

Right now you are anything but calm, anything but relying on you for your own comfort. And really, I get it. I have been right there where you are, and in some ways totally AM right there where you are, in that place where you have no idea what to do, where you feel like you are not only at the mercy of other humans and their words of promise, even as they are relying on the words of promise brought to them by other humans, as well. There, right in that place where it seems that you are stuck and at the mercy of someone, of anyone, else, and really, the thing is not that you do not trust anyone, but that you have been messed with so much in the past that you might not be able to see that this is the time that you ought to be looking at your own pattern, not of how you trusted anyone else, but more, where it was that you might have overlooked a few things. Those few things, by the way, have nothing to do with the words of promise, nothing at all to do with anyone else’s words, and everything to do with how aware you are of the things that are not obviously seen.

We have been taught all of our lives to not trust others, to be cautious all the time, and while this is very good advice, it is also advice loaded with energy that will cripple the creative process, that will stifle healing, that will make it so that the things that you have worked toward at this moment are somehow not going to work. They DO work, but the thing is that you, in all of your human being-ness, have done what a good human does, as much as we all do, and have erred on the side of caution. This is never a bad thing, but it can be a very stifling thing, to say the very least.

The Stifle

Being literally clueless to the answers to some of our immediate worries is a bitch. I am in the middle of it right now, and it sucks. There are things that I need to happen, because of obvious reasons, and there are things that I know others need to happen, for also obvious reasons, and when it seems like there is no one to listen and no place to turn to and that nothing can be done, we freak out. It is very easy for me to sit here and tell anyone that they need to just chill, because at the same time, I am doing anything but chillin’.

There are things that I am depending on to be real, and things that I need to happen, and things that, if they don’t happen, and while I will figure out another way, would be of tremendous help, right this moment, and right this moment is very stifling and it should not be. Right this moment there are things happening that are out of our control, and right this moment is when we ought to be paying attention to the things that we are not paying attention to, simply for the fact that in paying attention to the things that we have not paid any to as of late, we are not only closing a different circle, but we are also adding closure to the bigger one and the one that means the most to any one of us at all.

That which means the very most to anyone at all is that which is the very thing which will be seen to first

Ever notice how it is that the things that we worry for the most are the things which we believe keep us from worrying? The reality is that, the things that we worry the most about ARE the things that bring us the worry in the first place. If there is a lack in any sense at all in our lives, it is spawned from our ability, our perfection in terms of being able to worry about an outcome that we truly are the ones directing, either in, or out, of our favor. This could be anything, really. It could be something tangible and real in terms of things, and it can be something that is intangible, such as the way someone else who we feel strongly about feels about us…anything…and when I say anything, I mean exactly THAT!

The things that mean the most to us will absolutely present themselves when they are meant to, and more, when we most need them to be presented.  We can try to make them be real sooner than we are ready to see them in that reality, but until we are ready for whatever it is that we have coming to us, that reality will not be, not ever be, until we are ready.

If things are not happening the way that you want them or need them to, it is not about someone else – it is dearly and only about you and how you are feeling about the mix of energies that may well be coming from those who are well meaning but not well placed in the energies that are filled with fear and mistrust. No one owes anyone at all a good enough reason to make THEM feel better, namely not when the person who may well need that feeling of peace and calm is YOU and NOT them. They have no say over what is making you crazy, making you think in ways that you know you ought to not be thinking in.

Really, it’s the thought that counts…

I will say it until I am blue in the face – watch what you are thinking, perhaps not at all times, but, catch yourself when you start thinking thoughts that are of a weighty, negative nature, because in those thoughts is contained the energy which manifestation of our greatest lives is at.

Sometimes, when we are caught in the middle of a bunch of crap, and we are seemingly at the bottom of the barrel in terms of things that we need in our tangible reality, we get emotional and we turn back to the ways that we once knew as our version of normal. Our old version of normal, a normal which includes fretting over things because they are not in the rank and file order that we need them to be so as to make our own minds rest, no longer fits who we have each evolved to. Sure, we always go back to that, but in the grander scheme of things, we know better.

Most of the time, light workers are able to rise above the confusion, above the energy that is worry and lack, but I will not sit here and lie to anyone and tell you all that you will never worry again. I would never say that. I will say, though, that once it is that you have made it through any lesson at all, and once it is that you have been able to rise above the pain of the hurt brought by worrying and the like, you will begin to realize one sure thing – once it is that you make it through that particular issue, it becomes your choice that you will worry like that again.

That’s right – once you learn to not see things only for what the tangible nature of it is, and once you can get through to the idea that whatever it is that you see as your end result, no matter what and how you get there, what you see there is the truth. It is your truth. When you can look at things and see them as being symbolic, you know, too, that if you have been steadfast in your learning, steadfast in the focus needed to look at the thing at the end, and remain not trained on the thing at the end but the journey to get there and what it is that you are learning on the way there, you will begin to see things in a whole new light.

You will see that maybe you were just not ready for that one thing, at least not just yet. You will see there that maybe you didn’t know it all, no matter what all it was that you were knowing about, or at least thought you were knowing about.

Once it is that you have made yourself ready for the thing at hand, and once it is that you can handle the bigness of what is about to become your own truth in reality…then, and only then, will the tangible evidence of it all become also the very reality of it all, and a reality through which became that way through your own hand.

It’s a lot to think about, isn’t it? When was the last time that you were so impatient for a means to an end that, when it came right down to it, the answer was right there the whole time, and all you really had to do was look at it without thinking that you could change it?

It’s a hard question to answer…but one whose answer reveals more than you thought you knew about a whole lot…the truth is that, the longer that we wait for anything at all, the bigger the blessing is at the end of the wait, and the blessing might not be what you thought it was at the start of things, but something completely and all together different, even as the tangible reality is exactly what you thought it would be.

I Love You All !

ROX

 

Reef_Mana_O_Blog Meme

Click the picture to be taken to The Mana’o Blog Facebook page!

Dempsey's Karaoke Friday Japanese Guys

Click the photo to be taken to the Dempsey’s Pub Helendale Facebook Page.

 


Pack Mentality

Humans beings. We like thinking we are more refined than any other species, but we are not. In fact, we are more like the animals than we want to believe, and more than that, sometimes, we can act like rabid pack animals.

Humans …we allow ourselves to love, to be loved, and lots of the time, it works out.  Other times, we love, and the thing or the people who we love are not as loved as we love them, or perhaps not at all. And lots of us have a problem with this in the manner that is “you either are with us, or you are against us.” This creates within a person an energy that is of panic, and it is such, in the person who has not raised their own level of vibration to the point where they are able to ignore such things (read: demands), that it creates the thought, as well, that if we do not choose to run with the pack, we will be…not might be, not could be but will be…left behind, all alone by ourselves, with no one.

My thought about that is to just let them go….just let them all go.

You are not required, by any means other than what is your own soul’s energy about certain things and ways of being, to follow the crowd, namely if what the crowd is thinking runs against the tide of what is the truth within you.

The Truth Within You

We all have our own moral truths. These are the truths by which we live our daily lives. Sometimes, those truths are not the same as the truth of the many and the many will judge the one whose truth does not match theirs as being the lie. While it might be the energetic opposite of what the pack finds as being its collective truth, it does not mean that it also is required to be your truth. In simpler terms, say you go to lunch with your friends. All of you are thirsty. You all know what you want, you all order what you want. The server comes back with the same drinks, meaning that you did not get what you expected. You do not like what is in front of you. Immediately, you make the server aware of it. The server corrects the mistake. Life goes on.

Yet, lunch with friends is not the best example, even as it is the easiest. When we are talking about the human toll in terms of pack mentality, I am not talking about the toll of human life only. I am talking about the toll of human emotional life and human emotional life is something that too many people do not understand. It is easy to get ourselves involved in a sexy little drama, and easy for us all to draw conclusions based on the opinion of the whole, regardless of the truth …the emotional truth…of the individual.

The Emotional Truth of the Individual

Alrighty…let’s think about this, shall we? Think about the last time that there was something on the news, something that was very, very emotionally charged, where lots of people felt compelled to wrap themselves around a certain individual, love them, support them, only to, a little while later, find out that there were things about that person, or perhaps about an entire situation, that did not match what any one person’s ideal of anyone else, particularly the certain individuals in any given situation, was.

Now imagine that this energy, the emotional truth of the whole, based on the individual truths of each individual in the whole, is compounded by the hurt within each individual being made bigger through the pseudo-support of rallying against the certain individual, because the individuals in the group that is the whole have been fooled, or perhaps parts of the story had been hidden, and in that secrecy there were the things that the certain individuals did not want anyone knowing, but  more than that, things that the whole of individuals might not have wanted to see, let alone be surprised by.

What happens next, typically, is that the hurt individuals within the whole begin to compare their own emotions, their own feelings, through the stories that they have been conjuring…the “what if” and the “Maybe this is how” and really, this is how it all begins, good or bad, needed or not – when the time arises and we are in need of confirmations of how we are feeling about anything at all, and there is an entire population of people who are, all at one time, rallying support and love behind others within their tribe of community, we seek out the nurture of the Tribe.

Unfortunately, sometimes, the Tribe forgets that it is a tribe for a reason, for a common good, for the wholeness that is the family, and ultimately the tribe becomes a pack of rabid animals waiting and watching for the weaknesses in others, waiting to attack anyone whose opinion does not meet or match their own.  Waiting, and watching, as well, for those who will, not just protect the innocent, but more, who choose to not deem what the whole deems as right, as Truth.

Once again…that which is our own truth does not mean it is THE truth…it only means that it is ours

Our opinion of anything at all – in some cases, that is our truth, because it is the truth that we have an opinion, a preference, anything at all, about anything at all- is just that…our opinion. We are allowed by our very human spirit to form and to have an opinion, but not always will that opinion need to be heard or voiced by us. Our opinion is not going to be the same as everyone else’s, and may well run in the opposite direction of the whole’s.  Because we do or do not agree with someone else’s opinion does not make us bad or stupid. It is when we are willing to enforce (yes- ENFORCE and not FORCE) that opinion onto others via the matching opinion of others within the whole that things begin to take on the color of the Pack of Energy Vampires (I can’t call them wolves, because wolves are Sacred animals and wolves are also, in MANY Native American tribal traditions, the symbol for the Pisces…need I say more?).

The Enforcement of the Injected Opinion as Truth

It is not that difficult to lead people to think that one person’s truth, if it is dressed up with the right bunch of words and energies, is the truth of the Pack. It isn’t. Think back to the days of high school, where it was that only opinions mattered. It mattered to us all what others thought, and lots of the time, what others thought compelled us to behave in one manner or another. We either did well enough on our own because we were held as the one person whose opinion matched what might have been the actual truth, or, we were one of the many who, through the matching of that truth to our own, and given that we were not strong enough to vocalize that one truth, we were, at that point, suddenly part of a pack.

Now, think back, too, to that one giant rumor that spread throughout the school, and how, once it was that the truth was found out, that the majority of people who were off and running their mouths with a truth that might have sorta matched their own was no where near the actual truth in regards to what happened in actuality. At that time in your life you probably were glad that you were not the one who had started running your mouth, even though you might have been someone who’d agreed with what was being said. Now think about the people who these things were being said about…

…and now think about the things that were not true about the things that were being said about those people, and think, too, about how much of what was being said was not the truth, but merely the opinion of one person, or perhaps one group of people, and how much of the truth was skewed into the mix of the things that could have been the truth.

Think about the energy that surrounds such things, and think about how much each and every one of us likes being part of anything at all, and more, how much any one of us likes being part of what can be thought as being the “winners’ in a disgustingly nasty, men-involved, almost cat-fight over things that become emotionally heated over an opinion that one person or a mere handful of people voiced and others’ whose opinions were sort of like theirs.

It is not hard to adopt a Pack Mentality

We humans do not like being alone in any manner. I don’t care how many think they like to be exclusively alone, because for the most part, there are not a lot of us on the planet who like being by ourselves all the time,  and this includes in our manner of thoughts and of course, we love it when we are not alone in the opinions that we have about anything at all.

And really, we all love gossip. We love to hear it, and others, to create it, and still many, many more love to spread it, and the original message, the actual story, the things contained within the stories are the very things that get lost in the haze of the he-said-she-said garbage. All the while, lives hang in the balance, and as well, people forget that the more they run their gums, and the less they think about the actual human emotional toll, the more the pack mentality grabs our attention. And, unfortunately, sometimes even us!

It is hard to not let one’s self get wrapped up in the sensationalism, in the taking sides of things, of things that we wonder about, things that we are thinking about anything that is big and ugly and makes us feel like we have to take sides about .

Go ahead…take sides…the one called “your own”

I will not lie – there was a time, many years ago, that I would take sides. Then one day, when it was that both sides seemed to be against me, so to speak, I learned what it was to be the one person whose truth did not match the people or the groups which were having a difference of opinion from me. This taught me that it is not okay to take sides when it comes to things that are of a hurtful nature and that cause others pain that cannot be reversed as quickly as perhaps other things might.

How about trying this? How about putting your own self in another’s shoes for a moment, and ask yourself if you were who was being thought about in the manner that is derogatory and heated by the pack mentality, how might you feel if you were that person? How might you feel if you were that person’s family, friend, child, neighbor, coworker, employer…the list could go on and on…and the things that you have said, speculated, believed, all which may or may not be the truth, are the very things that you have to deal with? How might you feel if you were trusting someone, and they broke that trust, and even as you know the person who did whatever it was to break that trust would not do whatever it was that they have or maybe have not and are only being blamed for it, you chose to take on the energy of the pack?

Pack energy is addictive. 

Pack energy. We all know it well.  I know it really well. Over time, I have had to not only earn being the so-called ‘leader of the pack’ (in terms of The Sisterhood of The Soul…the healing group comprised of myself and a few of my cousins and a few good friends here on the west coast), but had to adopt the idea that what I say impacts all of them. No, what I say isn’t about “what I say- GOES”…it is about being able to represent myself to them, each of them, in the manner that is what I hope they can see in terms of my not wanting to hurt them, my not wanting to hurt the people who they work with, my not wanting to hurt me through hurting them.

In a short time, I have had to take who I thought I was and all on my own, with some help from teachers and therapists, and of course, other healers, my best friends, and the like, and become the best version of me, to this point, that I can manage to be, even with all the challenges I face. I did it. I did not think I could, and for a long time, didn’t want to do what I had to do in order to do what I knew I needed to on my own behalf. Which, easily, was to not get wrapped up in the energy that is joining the opinions of the larger populace in terms of what it is that we can allow ourselves to believe, all on our own, without the influences of others.

It is wise to think on one’s own, simply for the fact that sometimes, the pack is not right. Sometimes, it is your own soul’s leanings that are the truth and are the only truths you need to believe…

I Love You All !

ROX

Soul With Teeth Shark1

Click here and “like” The Mana’o Blog on Facebook!

Sacred Hearth Blog Meme

Please click here and visit The Sacred Hearth Blog


The Birthing of Our (evolved) Selves

In our lives at this time seems to be a whole lot of turmoil, but there is a beauty to this all, really.  We have to remember one very important thing about all of this harshness that almost everyone on the planet is going through right now, and that is that the bigger the ugliness in our lives, the bigger the beauty that is on its way.

*****

I am a huge believer in the strength of human beings. I am this way because I know that my own life has called upon me to become the strongest person in it, as it is with every single on of us. MANY of us right now are experiencing things that are as mind blowing to us, not for anything else than that, while it is that we KNOW that we are loved, by Spirit, by others, and by our very selves, the things that are crazy right now, and the things that seem to break our hearts are meant to show us that those energies are not needed, that they must be vacated in order that the big, beautiful things which are headed our way can be used in our lives the moment that they arrive.

And we wait for these things to happen to us, not realizing that we are co-creating our lives with the Goddess, and we get frustrated by what it is that we have little power over. We forget that we are always being taught, especially those of us who are in the “trades of the realms,” and yes, I am remarkable at brain farting when it comes to this one thing.  Because I teach, sometimes I forget that I am being taught what I will be teaching, and sometimes the lessons that I am being taught are also to show me which segment of society I will be working with next. Sometimes, too, I am being taught because without my thinking about things the way that I should be, I have given some sort of painful something to someone else. We all know that Karma don’t play…

…and speaking of Karma…nope…that’s NOT what is going on, at least not on the whole of things

The whole of things is that, yes, there are a whole lot of folks dealing with paying their karmic debts, BUT, there are a whole lot of others who are shedding their old selves for their new selves. Many light workers are now being forced from homes they have been in for many, many years, and many of us are growing out of or already have grown out of relationships that just no longer fit who we are and probably never did. There are a lot of us who are all of a sudden quitting jobs that have given us the greatest comfort in knowing was there and doing things that are in such opposition with who people thought they were for so long that it seems to not make sense.

But really, it makes a whole lot of sense.

If you thought about the things that you asked for about six months ago, I am almost positive that you were not very clear on what it was that you really needed, as well as wanted, and I only say that because I know that when I need something or want something, in my own desperation, I cry out to Spirit, telling Her what I need, and I forget to also tell Her that when She is blessing me with what I need, to please do so in the manner that is most gentle, most effective, will leave less pain in its wake and most of all, that is permanent and that the outcome be positive for all involved.

The fun part is that all of us does this. There is not one person alive on this planet who does not trip out when things begin to pile up in our lives, not one of us who automatically looks to Spirit for some much needed reminding that we are safe and well in the arms of the Goddess. No one can lie to me and tell me that always, they do this, because always, while we remain as enlightened beings, at the same time, we are equally as flesh and blood as we are enlightened souls, and at the same time we are prone to all of the things that those who come to us for our thoughts and our energies are. While there are some of us who are better at hiding these things, the majority of people, yes – myself included, freak out, at first, when the shit hits the fan.

You know when your life is about to change when it is that several piles of shit hits the fan, all at one time, it seems, and at that same time, it seems that there is little, if any, relief from it. If it seems that there is little, if any, relief from the madness, it is at that point when one must ask one’s own self what the similarities in all of the challenges are, what, really, is old and worn out, and who else it is in our midst, who also may well be being taught the longest, harshest lessons of all, and they are the lessons of our own evolution on a personal, yet very, very powerful, level.

The other side of the ugliness

Yes, of course there is a bright side to this all. My own lessons these last months were all about self-worth and who it is in my own life who values me and who I am, just as I am, and on the other side of this, who is still being quite douchey about things. In these last few months I have learned a whole lot about myself, and most of all, I have learned that, to a select few people, I mean the world, have brought to them the thing that was missing in their lives, and really, I had no clue about these things until I thought about it and realized that what was missing for them was also missing for me.

Another thing that light workers tend to forget is that at the moment, we have a whole lot of expansion happening for us all, meaning that the things that we thought about anything are changing for us, are expanding so that the reality of the bigness that is going on now will be accommodated. In my case it is about my family of origin versus the family which I created being melded in with the family who is my soul tribe. It is also about my work in this world and how it is that my words affect masses of people, all at one time, and that perhaps and rather than only sharing the painful things, to also include in those words also the lovely things which are birthed from that pain. I had to learn to trust people, had to learn to be able to rely on one other person without also allowing what went on in my own life before that person emerged into my life to not affect things with that one person.

I had to learn who my family within my family is, and while it hurt me for a whole lot of years to feel like I had been exiled from my own people, the truth is that even as there is DNA which matches, there must be a match of energies, a match of things unexplained and a match of likes, dislikes, and yes, of course, Love and what Love is to anyone at all. I had to accept, even as recently as yesterday, that really, just as much as some relatives are not my favorite human beings, I may also not be their favorite, either, and this is all fine and good and yes, it was asked for.

I had to learn that there was more to my job than only met my human ability to see. I had to depend on my gifts for most of these last months to get me through some of these things that still, to this day, blow my mind at how easily it was that I had forgotten that even though sometimes, the things which are in our midst are presented in human or tangible form, they require a spiritual and intangible energy to make them better, or, make them no longer be present in our lives if they are not needed or wanted there.

I had to learn that not everyone was lying to me about me, that really, there are a lot of people who love me, just the way that I am, all the way down to my shoeless-most-of-the-time feet, and I had to learn to accept that this is how they really felt, that they loved me as this me, and that for me to not be this me would hurt them to their very core. I had to learn to believe that either way, what I was being told, what I am still being told, is the truth of other people, that it might well also be my own truth, but that the truth that I do not like, I do not have to live and make my own truth.

Mostly, I had to learn to be patient with Spirit, to learn that She has everything set in motion the way that it is for a very specific reason, and whether or not I am right about the reason, or the energy, or the anything, the one thing that has been a challenge for me is waiting for the good things. If it isn’t apparent to anyone, even though I am jovial, outwardly expressive in a manner that can only be called or labeled as “mad cap,” on the inside of my psyche there is still that kid who sometimes feels like she is still the last one to get a piece of birthday cake and a scoop of ice cream, and the bitch of it all is that in that energy, it is my own birthday. And once again I am faced with the challenge to either accept what others have to do and must get done long before my part in their stories become apparent to them, because once I began to learn patience, which I am still learning, I also began to “see” their own stories silently told to me in the way that they expressed their own pain and their own heartaches, their own joys, their own energies.

This time in our lives is meant to refine us, to make us excited for the things that we asked for to come to fruition for us. Now is not the time that any one of us needs to throw our hands in the air and tell Spirit that we quit – not at all. In fact, if you are going to throw your arms in the air in frustration, then express THAT and not that you quit because really, you can’t quit. You can’t quit because you asked to learn whatever it is that is hurting you right now, and you can’t quit because you are almost where you need to be in terms of who you are and mostly, you can’t quit because the reality is that there are a lot of us right now who are in the same energy that you are, and most of us are seeing this part of all this turmoil as one thing…

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and all through the Universe…

Being blessed in our lives with anything is great, but if we quit, we have to go through the things that we don’t like going through all over again. If we quit, we don’t get to get to the point in our growth which will also be the fruits of the labors of pain that we may have gone through for a long time. In my case it has been most of my life for me, and lots of people believe that I need to toughen up  and learn to take it like a man…to those people…I’d like to say that there is no one in your mind right now else who you would be saying this to, and if you have the very nerve to give that sort of advice to anyone at all and to do so without truly knowing who they are, you might not realize that there are those among us who are VERY tough, who are more inclined to not have to always be tough on the physical and seen-with-human-eyes level, and if this is the way that you think…well…

My dear…you need to check yourself before you further wreck yourself.

Stop telling people how they can improve your way. Take your own advice and improve upon yourself…

…not because I said to, but because that is your lesson…

I Love You All !

ROX

RJB_NEW_PO_AO..MEME

For the month of October, join us in raising awareness! Send me an email to reverendroxie22@gmail.com for details regarding the

“The Day I Chose To Survive”

Campaign to raise awareness for domestic abuse


%d bloggers like this: