Monthly Archives: June 2015

Nope… you can’t always get what you want…

1_Tiger Woods_Loss_ManaOBlog CantAlwaysGetWhatYouWant

Sometimes, the things that we want are not the same things as what we need. Sometimes, what we want is in direct conflict with what we need. What we need is also sometimes what we want. We cannot forget that we can’t always get what we want

“…You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need…”

(“You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” by The Rolling Stones)

No one I know wants to not get what they want. At the same time, no one I know wants to know, or actually, believe, the truth behind the phrase (and the really great song by the Stones) “You can’t always get what you want,” and while that sucks, it is a Universal Truth that cannot be denied.

Another Universal Truth that cannot be denied is that sometimes, the reason that you can’t get what you want is because it might not useful for your life purpose, or, your intentions with what you want might not be pure, or, the biggest reason, you can’t always get what you want because it is not what is needed for you in your life, for your mission and according to your purpose in life.

The things that we need are not always the things that we want. In fact, the things that we need might actually suck, but the things that suck usually are connected to the things that we want, and if we choose to look at things in that manner, we can see there that as long as what we need and what we want are the same thing or are of the same vibratory pattern, we will, without a shadow of a doubt, get what we want and need. That is just the way this all works.

The Way This All Works

Whether anyone at all wants to believe me or not, the way that things in this Universe works is first, we find what sucks and deal with it (or don’t) and then we get what we need, and sometimes, really, what we need is for things to suck. Seriously.

Sometimes, some of us have chosen to be such a princess about things that if we don’t get what we want when we want it, we tend to behave in a very…Snickers Bar Commercial Diva…about things. Yes, even and especially the guys – y’all don’t like to lose, and not getting what you want when you want it can turn a couple of you into “Princess BitchGuy.” (Get over yourself already…yup…I went there…I said it – so DEAL WITH IT, ’cause it’s the Truth).

Really, though – when things suck, we have to ask ourselves what things that suck remind us of that is not right now and also sucked. If we go back in our memories, and we look at times past, and we can see something similar in that time that has passed, we can also know, too, that we have come up with the solution to the problem at hand, and that maybe, the thing that sucks right now is a karma thing, is something that you need to balance, and in that energy, you don’t get what you want because what you need is to balance the karma.

The Universe is a picky bitch about balance

Picky Bitches.

We ALL know one. I am one with certain things, namely when it comes to certain things that involve other people, especially people who I share with or intend to share with an extreme closeness. I am this way because for the majority of my lifetime, I have been shown that it doesn’t matter what something looks like, as long as it doesn’t cost a whole lot. When I put that into other words, and ask myself “are you sure you want to hang out with that person who appears to be a crack head?” my immediate answer is ALWAYS NO!

It isn’t because that person is a crack head, and it isn’t because that person might have issues that I could help them heal within themselves, it is because I am a picky bitch in that who I hang with is representative of me, and who I hang with, even though they might not be saying a thing about me in any manner, the moment that someone knows that I am hangin’ with a crack head, automatically I am going to be assumed to also be a crack head.

I am SO not a crack head.

That is neither here nor there. What I mean by that is that, the Universe demands balance, and when it is that our lives feel like they are not going in the right direction, and we feel like someone is playing a big, fat, ugly joke on us, if we bother to think back, as I just stated, and if we thought about how we felt when this shit hit the fan last time, and we can see how that turned out (or didn’t) we can also see to it that we know we will get through it, that once we are through it we can move forward onto the next thing, and most of all, we never have to go through that shit again, because in that one balancing act, we have found out something about ourselves and perhaps it was that something that the universe was trying to tell us we needed, even though we didn’t want it.

Seriously – you will not get what you want before you get what you need

Tangibly, we might be able to manipulate energy to get what we want, but, if we are not careful and we like believing that it doesn’t matter how we got that thing, the Universe will make sure that we KNOW we are incorrect. It is when we do things with the wrong intention, when someone else is going to lose something undeservedly, and when it is that we have placed on that one thing an importance that does not belong with it. It is when we have glued ourselves to the outcome that we want rather than the one that is needed, so as to open the door to what we want, if we need it, that we become hard to convince that maybe we were not supposed to have whatever that was, or that we were not supposed to have it until we are ready.

And, “until we are ready” is about EVERYTHING, including relationships. Relationships are the one thing that a whole LOT of other women come to me about, because they want to know how it is that I am so very happy in mine. I hear them say things like “if he expects to be with me, then he is just going to have to change (insert thing that she has no control over here) for me.” You can imagine the shit-storm of nonsense that I hear once it is that I tell a whole LOT of them that to expect someone else to change for us is like expecting to make rain fall without a cloud in the sky – NOT gonna happen (unless you can do that shit…then it could…no, really…).

We want perfection, but we, ourselves, are not willing to be perfect. In fact, we are, ourselves, are only willing to point out in other people what we think is “wrong” with them, and we do not even think that maybe, just maybe, it is not the other person who needs to fix something within them, but really, it is us who has to do that.

Oh man…wow…I can hear the hushed murmurs of women from one end of the planet to the other, all of them asking why it is that if I am such a great feminist, then why is it that I am not taking the side of the women in my example?

Umm…because – what is this article titled as? Yeah…it is also because I have a problem with people who have an air of entitlement to them, and women all over the place have this about them when it comes to the most important relationship that they have that is not with their kids – the one with their significant other. They want their partner to be this perfect guy (or chick) and when it comes down to it, and they end up being disappointed, what they are not thinking at that point is that it is THEIR expectations which has caused the energy of disappointment in them – NOT their partner’s

This is not to say that anyone’s partner is without sins and warts – but, it is to say that we, ourselves, come complete with the same things that anyone else does, so why are we judging and why are we expecting someone else to change for us when we will not change for ourselves, either? Who the hell are we to think that somehow, we are above that man (or that chick) (haha) and that somehow, they have to go by what rules we set FOR THEM but that we are free and able to be who we are, even if who we are is an asshole?

Again, it doesn’t work that way.

And I dare you to challenge me on it.

I dare you to sit there, get all ass hurt, thinking that somehow, no matter what the relationship is and with whom, you are somehow above the other person, because you are you. Did it ever occur to you that you cannot walk on water, and that you are not the only person on this planet who can be the thing that fills the void in any relationship and that you are not the cat’s okole that you think you are? How would you feel if you were the one who was being judged, expected to change, and for what? So that someone else could find you good, right and acceptable? After a very long time spent in a hellish marriage, I am here to tell anyone at all, there is no need for another person to be up to par according to you. Where you got that idea from is wrong, and you need to stop thinking in terms of only yourself, because that is going to get you nowhere.

For reals, though…you can’t always get what you want…

This is the bottom line truth here, folks – you can’t always have your way.

You can’t always get what you want when you want it. It takes time to not be an asshole, namely if you have been an asshole your whole entire life. Sometimes, it is that you are being made humble that you find yourself feeling all alone in the energy that is “by yourself.” Sometimes, you are being told things that you don’t want to hear but that you might need to hear. Sometimes things suck ass, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it other than check themselves before further wrecking themselves

When we think in terms of the bigger picture, we have to ask ourselves if we want to go through the things that brought us to this place of want, over and over again, or, do we want to suffer just a little bit, go through the things that we have to go through in order for change to happen for us and so that we never have to go through the things that we have been through to this point, because we chose to do the work, learn that we can’t always get what we want and that maybe, Spirit has something way better in store for us.

I promise…I know this.

In fact, I know it so well that anymore, I wear it on my sleeve.

Think about it – would you want to be someone who you are not, just so someone else could accept you as something other than yourself? Are you thinking about the things that you want as also being something that you do not need? Are you up to the task of doing everything that you expect your partner to do?

If you answered “no” to any of these things…yup…time to check yourself before you wreck yourself

Aloha!

ROX

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…on Being Jedi…

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We are all Jedi. We are all Sith. We all have elements of both sides of consciousness.

Star Wars.

Everyone I know, just about, LOVES Star Wars.

We all love thinking that if we could only have the gifts of the Jedi Knights that everything would just change for us, and this is the truth, but first you gotta understand that you have to get through the Sith part of you before you can even begin to think in terms of being Jedi.

The Sith part of you

To think in terms of being Jedi, you have to think not about what is best for you only, but also and more, what is best for whatever situation it is that you have found yourself in. That really is what this is all about. One cannot hope to be able to do what is right and good for themselves, let alone the world in which they live, if one is not willing to release parts of themselves that causes the things that happen that are other than good to continue to happen.

The best rendition and example of this is an adult who grew up with privilege and who no longer has that privilege. Perhaps it was that they were so comfortable in the idea that always, someone or something would always be there for them to parasite more and more of what they think they need. Then one day, the host from which they derived all of their perceived power from, typically in the form of money or other tangible goods, is no longer there.

The host either decides that they have had enough and is no longer available to their taking at a constant, or, physically, the host dies. This really happens. I am watching it now.

I mean, not right this moment, but, I am watching this happen, where someone who I know very well has chosen to not do more for themselves than what it is that they have expected from themselves, and also expecting others to pick up the slack, just because that is what they have always expected and have just grown accustomed to. This is not my rule. At all. This is the rule and the law of the Universe in that, whatever it is that you put out there into the universal climes, no matter what, comes back to us- always, and in the same energy that it was experienced by others.

To “Be Jedi” means that you have a deep knowing, a deep belief in the things that you and your mind and every bit of your own power can make happen for you, whether it is good … or other than good.

You have to know that what it is that you are leaning towards, in terms of Being Jedi, while it hurts and sucks, it is meant.

It is meant because you have to learn that while it is that topically, and in a tangible manner, you want things to be a certain way and you want things to be YOUR specific way, so that you can have comfort, even if it is at another person’s expense.

And why not? Everyone likes it when things are a certain way, but when it is that we actually need things to be a certain way, what we deem as being the “correct” certain way and the way that we want things to be regardless if we know this, we realize that there are bigger things at work and that really, there is not a lot that can be done to make those things different right this moment.

That is what is meant by “Being Jedi” – to be able to not only do all those really cool things that we see the Jedi Knights accomplish with their minds, but more, to also be able to face any dragons that we think are the reason as to why it is that we are not getting our way.

And by the way…

If you can recall for a moment the fact that, throughout his training, Luke Skywalker RARELY, if ever, until he got his mind past his fears and the things that could be called the Monsters in the closet of his mind…well, Luke felt like a failure. In fact, he felt like he could not take his rightful place as a Jedi Master and throughout all of the movies, he showed us all that this was not the truth of him. He showed us all both sides of himself – his Light and his Dark, and throughout it all, we each and all rooted for him, the underdog.

And really, that is what it takes, in part, to being Jedi – to know that no matter what, you are the underdog. You are the geek that people shot spitwads at, and you are the very one who people bullied and teased and told would go nowhere, because you were not cool enough to be like they were. You were different and you knew it, and you being different is really what they saw and whether you want to believe it or not – it was that you were and are different than all of the population of this planet.

We are all different.

We are all the Jedi.

We are all the Sith.

We are all the human beings with all of these qualities about us, and we are all prone to not thinking like we can make a whole hell of a lot of difference because we are too busy worrying and believing that what other people said of us was and is still the truth.

The truth is what it is.

The truth is something that not a a soul on this planet can ever escape and ultimately our truths always catch up to us.

Ultimately they come to us in the manner that is someone else not wanting to help us, come to us in the manner that is the very same bully we encountered throughout our lives, and ultimately, these things are not supposed to be there because we are meant to reach into our Jedi-like souls and clear from our lives and our selves these things that no one else seems to be able to deal with within their own selves and their own minds.

We are blamed for the things that we cannot control, and we are accused of things that we know we would not ever do, and these people who bring this to our lives don’t see that they are their own Jedi, and they are who brings to their own table the solutions to everything that they know they have control over. Lots of times, though, it is the ego, the Sith part of us who wins out, and does so because we are, for the most part, egotistical, arrogantly so, and we are, for the most part, afraid to face truths that we know have always been there, lying in wait in our twelfth house of self-undoing.

We do not have to answer that energy with anything more than acknowledgment, anything more than what is the truth of everything at hand at any given moment.

That’s what is called “Being Jedi.”

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Like Dominoes

ManaOBlog_Dominos

All of us on this planet, when we think of the Domino Effect, most of us tend to think about things falling apart.  While things indeed do fall apart, what we are also not thinking about at that time is that while they are falling apart, there are also other things that we so dearly desire that are also, at the same time, doing that same Domino Effect thing.

I have a habit of wanting to see the good, but ultimately I will only see what is not positive when shit starts to hit the fan.

We are all like this.

We have all been conditioned to see what we don’t want to see in terms of things going on in our lives rather than the other things that are also happening at the same time and that are very good. Sometimes those things are not evident and sometimes we really have to talk ourselves into seeing what we cannot see because what we can see sucks a whole lot.

And really, the reason that we can only “see” the negative, nasty stuff going on in our lives is because it is what we have been taught to focus on.

For the very life of us all, collectively, we don’t realize that the reason, in large part, that we are still not that great at taking our focus off of the good things also happening and not giving even that energy to the things that suck is due to our over-saturated nature being made more that way by the constant negativity in the news, online and yes, also that is contained in the drama and the histrionics brought to us by those who are actively in our lives in one way or another. It all feeds the energy in one way or another, and most of the time, we are more inclined, because we are all built to survive anything, to see the things that suck.

And again…the things that suck are the only things that we have been conditioned to see.

What we have been taught

We all have been taught, very well, to survive.

In that energy, we were taught to not trust things that are of a positive nature, and because of this, we have all of this…intense…constant…negativity in our lives. Really, this is truly the reason why it is that a whole lot of us cannot, for the very life of us, seem to be able to get past all of the crap that is crap in our lives. I am no exception to this.

I am one of those people, at least now, who is able, again…now…to try hard to not lose myself in the negativity and the drama that is caused by it. It took me a very long time to not see only the bad, to see the opportunities which are brought out of us and to us by those things that we see as being bad, harsh, ugly.

Sometimes, the opportunities are there and are hidden in a big bunch of turmoil. Our job at that point is not to become Mr. or Ms. Sunshine Happy Face, but really, it is when we should be looking for the opportunity in it all.

Yes – the opportunity that is there, that is not very obvious, that is meant to be hidden and wrapped in the crap called “life from time to time.” We are so very well conditioned in the manner that is looking for only that which sucks that in order for us to see what we are not looking for because we are too busy looking at what we are feeling is what this blog is about today – to introduce you all to that thing called “opportunity wrapped in a shit-stained blanket.”

Opportunity wrapped in a shit-stained blanket

Life.

Sometimes we are so engulfed in the problems that are part of our own private lives that it can truly seem as though we are stuck in a wet, shit-stained blanket.

It is bad enough that it is wet, but what makes it worse is that we can see the stains all over it, and even though we have put that blanket through the wash a million and one times, those stains are there, reminding us of all the things that happened to that blanket in order for it to be stained in the manner that it is.

In that same manner, when we look at a pile of bills that just seems to get bigger, or when we see that the people or at least and only one person in our lives making that life very difficult for us, the only thing that we can see in that life are those things which could be equated with that badly, nasty stained blanket.

If we broadened the picture of us wrapped in that blanket, and we see in that broadened awareness what else is there, we find out that ours is not the only shit-stained blanket, and we also are given a glimpse at the things not made obvious. Yet, that rarely helps us or our cause to not wear that blanket, and sometimes, the blanket is needed, because it is the only one available and the outside world has become too cold and harsh to deal with without some sort of coverage – thereby making that shit-stained blanket a lot more appealing than would be the elements of things unknown are.

The Unknown Things

This is where it gets a little bit unbelievable, because of the nature that letting go of things, including outcome, being what it is – which is unknown.

This is where our conditioning really hurts us, because the word “unknown” carries with it such negative energies that for us to get away from that energy, we have to assign it a new energy and one that fits whatever it is that we are trying to do. For someone like me, the word “unknown” is simply part of everything that I do in this lifetime, namely when I coach others, to show them that there are two sides to the “unknown,” and depending upon how any one of us has experienced what was unknown to us in the past will determine how much work we have to do in order to allow anyone who is coached by me to learn another way of discerning that word and having that word actually help them turn things around.

In the Unknown, there is the opportunity to NOT see only the negative part of that word, and in the Unknown, it is rife with possibility and filled with energy that can either be good, or other than good (thank you Marianne Williamson…”other than good”…I love the way that feels…don’t you all?).

Within that place called “The Unknown” there are lots and lots of little things called “other ideas about a thing,” and in that place there are opportunities for each of us to visualize the way that we would rather things turn out.

The visual of things is not what is important, at least not as important as what that visual is doing for you. When you can get behind a thought and it is believable to you, this is when you have taken the opportunity of that which is called “The Unknown” and actually derive a better, more usable and more agreeable energy that can be dealt with so as to also deal with whatever is your version of the shit-stained blanket.

When I say that just like bad energy can have a domino effect, I also mean and should tell you all, whether I am here and in writing or if we are in a coaching session on the phone, I want you all to know that the good energy also carries with it that thing called The Domino Effect.

We all know how the Domino Effect works, and we also all know  that if we are willing to believe that the bad things fall over like dominoes, we also have to believe that the good things will do the same thing. If we can get behind an idea that suits our need at the time that we are wrapped in that nasty-ass blanket, and we can do so in the same manner that is the ferocity and energy that we have that carries us through the time that we are wrapped in said blanket, we can also begin to visualize things in a different, more positive manner and in that manner also create a better, more “wearable” energy.

The most important thing, though, in no longer needing that blanket, is that we have to learn to let go of the things that we are willing to believe, things that might have applied during another time in our lives when we did not know that we also have opportunities within that which sucks and if we just looked for them, we might know that while we have been wearing that blanket, we forgot that there were other blankets and that those other blankets were there all along.

We forget, because we have not been taught otherwise, that there are always going to be two sides to everything.

We forget that sometimes, the grass really is greener on the other side, and forget that, sometimes, when we want to believe that only people who are awful will get ahead in life, that they are actually not showing you the other side of their lives and really, they don’t have to. All we need to do is remember that there are two sides to everything, including the things that seem to feel like they are eating our lives away.

What we are not thinking about when we are in that thought of life eating us up is that it might not be that way at all, and that what is really happening is that we are evolving, and that everything that was once the norm for us is being replaced by what is the new normal for us, and change, as we all know it, no matter how good it is for us or how good it will be for us, change SUCKS. Even good change, and it sucks because we are so busy waiting for things to fall apart that we don’t realize that when things fall apart, some new truth is being born and with that new truth we must do something.

Sometimes, the new truth scares the shit out of us, and it is meant to do that, because sometimes we do not believe that we are good enough to have what good things come our way. This is something that I have had the hardest time with – the idea that everything that has ever been good, at least in my head, goes away.

I found out, though, over the course of a year’s time, that this is not the truth. The things that I might have thought were good in the past were the things that taught me that everything that I wanted to and was taught to believe as being the ONLY truth is not the only truth.

What I found out is that when one thing goes away, something better is meant for that vacancy. The vacancies that have been filled have been filled with the right people, and the right clients, and the right energies that tell me that I am on the right path and that I am to stay this path and within this energy, no matter what, and especially if I intend for the good things to continue to fall into my life, like the dominoes that fell in a bad way in previous times.

No matter what it is that we are faced with, we can either see it all as bad and crappy, or we can see it all as part of the process of elimination of the bad things which have taught us so much, to make way for the good things that reward us for having been in that other energy for too long. Also contained in that energy is that thing called “the seed” to begin new things, with those new people, for all of the right reasons, and no matter how much we want to go back to that shit-stained blanket, the more we look at everyone else choosing to not wear theirs, we also take the opportunity to not wear ours.

In fact, we end up using that same blanket for things more appropriate for its condition…

…such as giving it to those who actually need that blanket.

#LiveAloha #LosAngelesKahuna #ReverendRoxie22

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Moving at the Speed of Clarity

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Success in our lives requires a measure of clarity, no matter how small that measure may be. It is not when we are clear about things that we are at our highest finest best, but really, it is when we are pushed to have to find another manner in which to gain clarity that we are not aware that we are actually learning to gain momentum and moving at the speed of clarity.

“Moving at the speed of clarity…”

Of late I have been a bit of a hermit. Of late I have been pondering where it is that my profession is going to guide me to next, and of late, there is not a lot that I have been very clear on.

I am not the only one, either.

There are a lot of us who were, not very long ago, very precisely clear about what our daily life should be and look like. We became glued to our routine, and we became comfortable in that daily surety that told us what time things had to happen and if those things did not happen at those certain times throughout the day, at least we would know why those things did not happen at the time that those things typically happened. And it has been happening to all of us, even though it seems like it is only happening to the each of us when we each think about what it is that we are each seeing happening in our lives.

What we are seeing happening in our lives

I just finished texting someone about how I am sick of shitty people. I am sick of being told by perfect strangers that no matter how energetically and morally right I am about something, technically, I am wrong, and that I should just shut up, because technically, I cannot change things and technically, I should just give it a rest. This does not, however, excuse people from being very shitty and in their shitty nature, they like…no…they LOVE…being either absolutely vague or horribly terribly mean and absolutely shittily clear about how great they are in comparison to us.

It is not just the vagueness that drives me and lots of people nutty, but is also the shitty nature of people who just cannot seem to get it through their heads that being right, technically, does not give a person the right to be shitty about it. I am sick of shitty people.

That I am sick of shitty people is one thing, but that I am now able, just after these last two weeks of feeling like I have HAD TO read about my own sins, hear about my own lacking in certain areas of me and my life, been told that what I give is not enough, and after also being told not to listen to any of it because those people are not me, it hit me that what was going on is I was, and am, being taught clarity and not by shitty people, but by the Mother Goddess herself.

How the Mother Goddess has used shitty people to teach me Clarity

We human beings like to hang on to things that, in their present state of being, are loved by us in the manner that they are at this moment.

In the manner that things are at this moment – well, evidence is all around every one of us – in some area in each of our lives, we are being taught what needs to be let go of, are being taught that others who are closest to us are also going through their own clearing out stage of life, and in that process, we will end up meeting up with lots of shitty people.

In fact, in that process, others within our own soul tribe will appear to be one of these very same shitty people, but the truth is that if you are seeing this shitty nature in others who you share a close bond with, they are mirroring back to you that they, too, are clearing out the shitty energies in their lives. It is not that they are gone, but that they are, like you are, clearing the shitty energies out of their own lives.

They might be clearing out their reasoning that because they have always been an asshole, they have the right to remain being one, and they are, like I am, like we are all figuring out that that energy and way of being needs to change, and if it does not change, that relationship surely will and could likely end up with being less one person in that energy with us. That some people might have been like this for many years and that being like this might have served them well during one stage of their lives, it does not mean that they have the right and neither the excuse to hang on to being that way.

If I chose to remain being shitty to people because that is just how I have managed to keep myself safe from emotional harm in the past, it is not excusing that I am that way and trying dearly to no longer be that way. It excuses nothing, but defines the measure of what it is that I have to do in order to rise above it.

It doesn’t excuse it, it defines it

I should have titled this one “Clearing shitty people out of our lives,” but …nah….and nah because we have all got the very tendency to be shitty people. This is not about people, per se, but about the energy that people have from time to time.

*ahem* … this is not about people and their nastiness. It is about the energy that we each and all can experience having when we are exchanging energies with them in any manner at all. We have the tendency to be horrid to other people, and because it might well be entertaining for us on some level and in some sick and sordid way, we choose that energy of challenge to the emotional part of the energy that is in other people regarding things in their lives at this time that we are not very well understanding about them and their ways of being.

That we know this about ourselves is one thing, and that we behave accordingly to that energy is quite another thing, but, when we are choosing to be that way and it is for other reasons having only to do with how we are feeling about anything at all, what we are doing along with being shitty is defining our energy in a physically and tangibly clear manner, but, also in a manner that spiritually, might confuse someone else.

When we are in that shitty feeling energy, our own energy will match and detect that energy in everything around us, and especially in what we perceive as being the weaknesses in other people. When we are prompted to stay quiet and observe, most of us choose to open wide the mouth and allow the words of shittiness to pour out, and we don’t realize that we are doing so. In doing so, we end up hurting someone else. We might not have intended that to happen, but it happens a lot, and the other side of that is the person who we have hurt and all of their shitty energy that they can choose or choose not to respond in a shitty manner to that shitty energy.

How we define how it is that we feel at any given time is not up to other people, is up to us, but when we are feeling that way, we are not aware of what is happening. We are not aware that we are being shown through them that in some manner, that energy can no longer be with us, because that energy impedes our growth. That energy that makes us feel like we have to engage with anyone about anything that is technically not their business is part of this challenge energy that we bring to others. Even if we don’t realize that that is how some folks will take it, that is what is happening, and you are not challenging anyone else. You are challenging you and you are defining how you will take on that energy so as to diffuse it and make it usable, and if not usable, then understandable.

Understandable by you, not the other people.

This is where the “it defines it” part will make sense, I hope.

We are not now and neither will ever we be defined by anyone else, and if we believe what they have to say about us and want to also believe that someone else’s opinion about anything that we are,or are not doing, is evidence of who we really are, that right there is the evidence of the Mother Goddess making clear to anyone at all what needs to happen.

It is not that you need to work on you so as not to be a weak ass because someone else said so. It is the Mother Goddess reminding you through them that you are NOT like that at all and that you need to figure out why it is that you are hurt by what they said or did and in that hurt energy, you are being prompted to do something about it to fix it.

Again- not for them, but for YOU.

When we are feeling like we have been attacked, right in that moment, even though I know that I am not good at it, I am telling anyone who will listen to me that, in that moment, it is wise to stop and try thinking about the answer to this question: ” Is it about them needing you to do what they have stated and that will make them feel better about your situation, or, is this about you responding to how their response has made you feel, or, is it both?”

Is it them?

This is a tricky one, because no matter what, it always only boils down to ourselves, but, it still begs to be asked – were we given a certain energy by anyone else that would cause us to experience the feeling that they were, at any time at all, trying to make us feel hurt, or were their intentions actually well placed, even though their words may well not have been?

In this instance, we have to think about who it is that is telling us anything at all, and if this person would elect to hurt us on purpose. We have to look back in time to how our relationship has always been with them and then really think about if they meant to hurt us with their words.

The likelihood is no. No one who really and truly loves us would hurt us on purpose. We all know this is the truth, unless who you are hangin’ out with is some sort of sadistic creep. Seriously, and not even if they back it up with “it is for your own good,” because if it gets there, the only question that I have for you is…

Is it You?

If you are at all like I am in that, I am VERY sensitive, and sometimes, depending upon who it is that does not realize they have somehow hurt my feelings, people say things, just being who they are, and what comes out of their mouths, while it is not meant to harm us, we might end up with that harm anyway, and it won’t be because they have purposely told us something to hurt us or to get a reaction from us. It will be because, really, there are some of us on this planet who are, in every way, shape and form, very dearly sensitive to others in all manner – from their energy to their appearance. We are affected by others in many ways, and if we love them, the hurt is scathing and felt way deep inside of the bones of the soul.

This does not in any manner mean that they mean to hurt our feelings. It happens this way because that is how WE roll. It is not up to anyone else to learn to figure out why it is that they have said anything that they have said, that they might not know or even believe has hurt our feelings – it is up to us to be able to take stock of the thing being talked about and delve into the deeper meanings behind what it is that our loved ones are trying to tell us. I will be the first to state that it is not that easy being an Empath. I am a very strong Empath. This means that for the very life of me, I cannot help but be affected by the things that are said, or the things that I feel, or sense, or act on. This is the truth of many other people, too. This is where drama is borne from, and where it is that Empaths are actually meant to thicken our skin a little more.

Again…no easy task at all being able to deal with how we feel if we are not sure that what we are feeling is actually our own energy and our own feelings, or if it is something that is being projected onto us by someone else. It is very difficult, I will say, to discern, sometimes, what is my stuff versus that which I am feeling as being someone else’s stuff.

It takes practice and lots of getting your heart broken by the people that you love the very most. It takes a whole lot of self-talk, a lot of self-salvation and most of all, it takes a lot of self-love to know that the ills of the entire world are not yours to carry and neither is every energy that is felt by every person in our lives who mean the most to us.

Is It Both/All of You?

Sometimes, when we are in a group of people, or when we are one on one with someone, things can be and have been said that rub us wrong. It is not really that hard to think about combining the two things that you just read, discern through it all what is real and what does not apply, and really think about things in terms of what the energies, which were mixed and like each others’, were telling us and about whom they were telling these things about.

Sometimes, we need to understand that what we are feeling might not be ours. Sometimes we need to stop taking on all of the sins of the whole and think about the one, and when there is one other person aside of us who we consider to be the One, it is more important that we do this, so that we do not go into that darkness that is “poor me,” and where it is that the things that we say have got to be thought out before we say them so that we, in turn, do not try hard to make someone else feel bad for things that are not theirs to feel badly about.

Clarity in how we communicate with others makes things much nicer. When we stop trying to impress the world with our big fat vocabulary and our intellectual prowess, and we get back to the basics of our energetic selves, we find out that what we thought was something hurtful might have actually been a cry for help from anyone at all. Help in the form that is our understanding that sometimes we each have to do things, things that require our focus, and things that take our immediate attention away from the things that make us happy, and happy all the way down to the bones of our souls.

If we cannot get out of our own way to see things from another angle, we cannot begin to hope that trying to help others’ with their “angles” will be of any good value to them, and it will not ever be of any good value to ourselves if we are not willing to see past what it is that we think was directed toward us but was really intended as information for us to process.

A LOT of this used to happen between myself and the one person who I do not want to hurt. Then one day, he told me what he needed and sometimes what he needs is to be able to get through things that happen to pile up on his shoulders and that sometimes, our plans can’t happen. I’m okay with it. I didn’t used to be, but that was for me to deal with, not him. So deal with it, I did. Sure, I won’t lie and say that I liked having to put aside those plans, but I will state that because of that measure of clarity, I absolutely know that it is not something that I did or did not do and was not anything that could be avoided. It took me a little time to deal with believing this, but I know this is the truth. Good relationships have the tendency to grow stronger by taking certain components out of it. One of those components is allowing those closest to us to be both the human being and the super hero by removing our tendency through our own arrogance and our disbelief that we are good enough to be with other people who want us in their lives. I didn’t get this much at first, but it is now the thing that makes me thrive

Now, I won’t lie and tell a soul that I don’t, at first, get a little butt hurt – but, of course I will, and I likely always will, but, with time, the time that I spend within my own thoughts regarding this thing about me will just do what it is supposed to for me, teach me how to better get through this sort of thing and really be of good help to the people who live within my world.

Without clarity it cannot happen and will never happen.

The most saving grace of my own was to finally, one day, not so long ago, take off my rose colored lenses, open my eyes to the wisdom that is clarity through proper discernment, and understand that I am not the biggest sinner in the world and that not everyone’s ills are my cause.

It took me a lifetime to get where I am now, and if it takes me the rest of this lifetime to get where I need to be, it won’t hurt me to keep moving forward.

Onward and upward, I say…

The Path…clear ahead of me…ahead of us all…

I Love You All

ROX


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