Monthly Archives: February 2014

Simplicity is Beautiful

We start out in life as simply as possible, with no dents and dings in our psyche. It would very nice if we could just stay simple and childlike forever.

Take a trip, if you will, down memory lane, back to when you were a child and things were so very simple. Think about all those Christmas mornings and all that paper and those empty boxes that served as your clubhouse or your fort. Think about how excited you were that the fat guy in the red suit was coming to your house, and how excited you were even leaving those cookies and milk for him. Now think about all those times in your life when you felt like nothing in the world could be more perfect than right that moment and in your sights and possession is something that not a whole lot of people think about anymore – simplicity.

We have equated simplicity with the markers for being a simpleton, and sometimes, if we thought about it long enough, we would see that the simpletons in life somehow have the system beat, and they have done so with only one sort of energy – that of simplicity. Simplicity is that place within where everything is created. It is how children, in all of their innocence, have the bravery that they do when they need to have it. It is that area of life where the only thing that matters to any one of us is the ease of the day and how long it will be before the next sunrise. This is simplicity.

A few examples of simplicity

Simplicity is that place within where everything is beautiful, because everything seems to be so brand new. It is an energy that is soothing as much as it is at the same time the catalyst for things not so simple. Simplicity is hearing the cooing of a baby, and it is to be found in the smile brought about by the gentle quickness that is like that of a hummingbird. Simplicity is being awestruck by the wingspan of an Eagle in flight, and simplicity is being dumbfounded by the beauty of a flower not quite completely finished blooming.

It is in the surety that is the sun rising and setting everyday, and it is the imaginary thought process that are cloud pictures, rainbows and the purring of kittens. It is in the warmth of the smile of a stranger as they pass us by, granting us salutations and bidding us well. It is in the embrace of the one who knows you so dearly and truly, and is in every breath that is that of a child sleeping in a chair as though he were an angel and the chair, a cloud. It is in everything that we see and know, and everything that we have yet to see and yet to know.

If these examples of simplicity are not enough to make us all wonder how it it is that everything in life seems so complicated given the beautiful nature of everything that is absolute on a daily basis, then there is not a whole lot that is going to make anyone at all realize that truly, our freedom from much of the hurt in our lives is always going to be just a tiny fraction of an inch out of our grasp.

Out of our grasp

We have the power to recall things. I do it often. If I do not bother with what was the past, I cannot begin to imagine what is the future. You read that correctly – everything in the past has very dear energy that is of the future. I say a whole lot about forgetting things that have happened in the past, but mostly it is because we cannot change what is there. I cannot go backward in time to repair the damage that I have been visited by and that hurt me so dearly. However, when I revisit the past, I see there that there are things from that time that have served me well and to this day remain to serve me well. One of those things is being able to pull from the past what was the most important to me. Be it a lesson, or something that someone said to me, or perhaps even a person – no matter what, if we can draw from the past that which is relevant to the future we can also be sure to it that when we are focused and what it is that is back there can serve us in the Now, we would be able to see our own patterns of behavior and of lessons learned.

Most folks don’t like going back in their minds to their own past. There is too much hurt there. Yet, if you can go back there in your mind, and you can relive what it was that you recall as being very good and something that you can get anything out of, then you also can apply those energies to the Now.

Thing is…as we grow older, we become hardened by the things from the past, hardened by the things that have happened to us and in our lives. We learn throughout the time that passes that we are often times met with these difficulties that we would rather not have to deal with, and lots of times we choose to ignore what it is that is hurting us, pissing us off, making us doubt who we are for real.  This is not something that we are born with, by the way – it is learned and becomes our habit, these things that make us be who we are not.

We are taught to live “on the outside” of ourselves, when really, life happens and begins, literally even, on the inside. Inside is where we think, and feel, and are. Inside is the only place where a lot of people who we do not let in are not. Inside is where the process is, stays and will never not be. Inside is where we need the most work. Yet, inside of who we are is what we neglect to take care of the most. We want to think that we can get away with the pretend smile, get away with the sadness that can never be hidden because the eyes give us away.  Throughout the course of our lives we are told that complex is better, is more interesting, is liked by more people. What we are not taught and what is inborn is that thing called Simplicity.

The Simple things in life are also the most beautiful

Think about how beautiful it is to just know that a new baby has been born, and how beautiful the giddy laughter of children is. Think about how lovely it is to see two old people sitting on a park bench, sharing secrets and giggles and memories. Think about how easily roses bloom and how those very roses don’t need any instructions about how they become so beautiful. Think about how awesome it is to see and to hear a flock of corvid as they cackle away, their raven blue-black plumage glinting sinfully beneath the light of the day. Think about everything that has ever made you smile, laugh, think wonderful thoughts, and you will know the full force and power of Simplicity.

When The Mother Goddess created all of Life, She did not have a laboratory in which to splice genes or to look at anyone’s DNA pattern. When human life came into being, it was not something that was so totally technologically difficult (obviously), and was not something that required any of us to have batteries put into our plastic backs. When life came into being, it was from the most minute things, things that not one of us will ever know about, because not one of us was here, in this consciousness, and none of us were aware of the complexities of the nature of Simplicity and all its grandeur.

Simple is beautiful, plainly put.

There is nothing more breath taking than seeing with one’s own eyes the beauty that is a new baby being born. There is nothing quite more awesome than to wake before the sun rises, and to see in the distance the great orange life-giving orb called the Sun as it ascends above the horizon, waking us all and giving us a reason to be glad to be alive and well and able to face the day one more time.

Simplicity is where greatness is born, for without it, there is nothing quite as maddening or intimidating than is a blank sheet of paper which is free of the marring nature that is ink. In the same way, as children, we are like that sheet of paper. One day, some clueless adults come along, tell us that we should stop daydreaming because daydreaming makes us waste our time and daydreaming is taking away those precious hours in which we could be doing something more profitable for someone else.

Yet, without daydreaming, there is nothing. Tangible things come from the imagination, and the imagination is directly energized by daydreaming. When lost in our daydreams life is beautiful. Life is comprised of daydreams. Daydreaming is as simple as anything could be. This is why children are so good at it. If we could just be, for one moment of everyday of the rest of our lives, daydreamers, and if we could just learn that our lives are up to us to build, and if we could just think the way that we did when we were children our lives would be markedly improved.

We have the power to build our lives. We have the power to make every tiny little thing that we want part of our lives. We do not know that we have always had this ability, that since the time we were children we were all endowed with the ability to imagine life in its most perfectly imperfect way. It was when someone told us what was their truth was also our truth is when we also were taught that while daydreaming and the simplicity of it is a nice thing to do when we are bored, that there were other, more important things to do because when we grew up there were going to be even more “more important” things for us to have to deal with and learn to hate doing.

It leaves little wonder, then, the reason that things seem so complex when really, life is very simple. We are the ones who turn it into something that it was never meant to be.

Simplicity is a gift given to us while we are still in Spirit, long before we are brought into this consciousness through time in the womb. If we could believe for a moment that rather than all of these technologically advanced sheep we believe ourselves to be, that we are, instead, each uniquely magnificent, powerful and simply marvelously beautiful, as is life, we could do anything at all.

It’s simple, really, life is….it is not that life is hard, but that we are hard headed. It is not that things are ugly, but that is how we see them and because that is how we have been taught to see them.

Choose to see the pictures made in the clouds as they roll by, and choose to believe that really, unicorns exist, that there is indeed a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.

Choose to accept that Simplicity really is quite beautiful, and the rest will just fall into place.

No…really…try it….magical things happen when you simply just believe

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

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Remain with Integrity

Integrity. It is something that we all know about, that we all need, that many people require as a staple in their lives. When you say you are going to do something, just freakin’ do it dammit!

The most memorable time that anyone paid me the compliment of having a very high, very strict level of integrity about a whole lot in my life was when I was teaching hula to about 5 dozen children who all lived in an arid golfer’s Disneyland, back when I lived there, called Helendale. I recall that day quite vividly. We were rehearsing for a luau that my hula babies and I were having for our halau so as to show the community the truth about hula, about being Hawaiian, and most of all, how it is that Love can go a very long way within a group of people. My initial “thing” at the time was not only to have an income that I controlled, but more, that I really had a mission to show people that even people who do not get along, through the employing of  Spirit and the showing of Aloha by me to these children who all so very well learned this, can and do get along as long as there is a measure of Soul and Aloha present.

Yet, that was not even the thing that still, I know, these now young women understand. It was what one of their mother’s told me that took me quite by surprise, that told me that what I was doing in teaching these children what I taught them, which was Love and Aloha, also included my teaching them about a little something that is a big fat deal and is called “integrity.”

I was not expecting to be paid such a very high compliment. I mean yes, my darling friend Kim (who was the person who kept all these children in line for me, and if not her, then her daughter Sasha did) always told me that I operate my life with full integrity. When this same thing was said to me from one of the moms who was a former sheriff, I was taken aback. You see, me being who I am and have always been…well, anyone “police” and I, while I will be cordial to them, we are not the best of friends. However, it was this woman to whom, to this day, even though we are no longer neighbors, I refer to as “Kamala,” whose definition of me and my level of integrity caught me quite by surprise. If anything, I thought that maybe my antics on this particular Wednesday at hula would make it so that I would have less haumana (students). Nope. In fact, it made the number of haumana I had to jump to 5 more kids AND it changed the way that I thought about me and my …ability to have “antics”…markedly different.

It told me a whole lot about myself, such as the idea that until that day, I did not realize that I was not the only one who thought I was hella cool !

“…say what you mean…one thing leads to another” (The Fixx, “One thing leads to another”)

You may be wondering why it is that today there are two blogs. Well, the reason is that the blog that was just posted a little bit ago was finished two days ago. I was just lazy and distracted. So there. What brought me to this blog post is what happened and has happened over the course of the last two weeks and is NOT what happened that took me twenty years to see to happening.

Nope. In fact, it is the very OPPOSITE of that energy (which is a good thing…nay…great thing) and it has brought me this feeling, not of dread, but of a deep seated anger that should not be there but is. It is one of those things that can only be brought by the thoughtlessness, by the selfishness, by the arrogance of people who want their way without also taking into account what other people deal with when we are told one thing, and then the opposite thing happens.

When someone tells us that they are going to do something or that they agree to terms that they have set, and we agree, that is a contract. It may not have a signature, but it has an energy that is of hope, that is of things becoming what they need to be and that have been borne of these things that we hear other people telling us that they will do for us. It is when that word is breached that not only has what other people planned, based upon another’s word or action, but WILL also impinge upon what perhaps a whole lot of people need to happen. 

This is why our integrity and our level of it is important and should be valued and guarded more than should all the gold in the Universe.  If we cannot keep our word, then we must back it up, somehow, with a good reason as to why it is that we might have thought we would be able to take on more than we  should. Today, at least for me, is no exception. I was supposed to see someone this evening, someone who is one of the most important, most significant people in my life and who has been for a long time. When it came to me that there were things that I have to work on in a working sense I wanted to kick my own ass. But he understood. This much I know.

My point is that when we cannot do what we said we might be able to, for all the right reasons that we might not be able to, and we choose to step out in bravery and risk anyone else being disappointed by what it is that was the initial thing we were supposed to or at least planned to do, and we find that the other person or people understand our reason as to why we have to change our plans, it ain’t so scary.  So long as we are truthful in that energy, nothing bad can happen.

And nothing bad did happen.

Do not let the fear of disappointing anyone else reduce your level of integrity, ever

I would be remiss to make up any kind of excuse for anything that I do. People who know me also know it about me that I try my very hardest to live up to everything that I say, everything that I think, and everything that I Am.  We humans have that neatobandito ability to trust people. It is the same with all of the animal kingdom. Like a dog who has been beaten one too many times, a human will also become somewhat “hand shy” in the sense that they will not be able to get too close to people because the reality is that they have, for a long time, been let down so much that in order to trust anyone at all we have to have tangible proof. And who could blame anyone who has been let down enough times to know that they do not want to go through that same pain again?

This is what happens when you have found yourself as someone else’s victim, and then, too, when a person finds out that even though they had help being someone’s victim, it was all on our own that we survived. I know this is the truth because it is a truth which I made it out to the other side, yes, alive, but very guarded. Why? Because it is one thing for a person to give the impression that they care about you a whole lot, and quite another to come to the ugly truth that is that yes, they cared, but in a “pet and owner” kind of way. This was the biggest disappointment of my lifetime. I knew then what I am so very well aware of now, and that is that not all people on this big giant rock we call home are going to operate with integrity.

I know this one real, real well.  I was taught (read: FORCED) to be much like that hand shy animal, because that is what I used to be treated like – property. It is not something that I dwell on OTHER than when I am writing about these things here because even though that guy was a bastard (and is now a bastard who is on his way out of this lifetime…so say I, dammit…), what I learned about me, I will not say was worth it, but I will say that without these sorts of bullies in my life who stayed for long periods of time, I would not be who I am now. Who I am now is someone who I really like. I would hang out with me if I were not me.

When you have been told one thing, and given another, and that other thing is not anywhere close to what you have been told you would receive, this does not speak about your own level of integrity, but the other person’s. When we tell anyone what we are going to do, especially when it is on their behalf, it is wise that we also choose to go through with what we said we would do.

Not doing what we say we will do not only creates mistrust in others for us, but also gives us a LOT of Karmic debt. When we talk about our Karmic debts and we tell other people what is wrong with our lives because of that karmic debt we are not realizing that we are who has created said debt.  When you tell anyone that you will do something on their behalf, do what you say you will and mean it. Do not go into it with the idea that you have to do anything for anyone because the moment that you choose to not think of someone else taking up too much of your time is also the moment in which your truth in the energy that is Integrity will be the brightest thing shining through.

Continuing to tell people things because we think they want to hear it is one thing, but doing so with the intent of only putting them off for a bit longer until we finally come with it and tell them that we have no intentions of doing what we told them we would is when we are going through our own Karma. You read it correctly. When you are out in the world, and you are trying to get anything for yourself, when you go about making promises that you do not intend to keep or are promises that you have neglected to tell others is subject to your changes, not only are you a damned liar, but at the same time, are a liar who has chosen to actually go through more of what you do not want to go through.

That’s right – I said it, now deal with it. When you promise people anything, make sure you can come through with it. I say it often, that what comes around goes around. I say it often, that we should think better about what it is that we, ourselves, would care to go through on behalf of others, and when I say it I am NOT talking about the sacrifices that are made from love, but are the “sacrifices” that we are told about by these people who already lied to us just so that they could get ahead, no matter what and no matter how they had to come to the end where they are now.

I know I am right, because right now there is this guy who, for the very life of him, is morbidly unhappy and is so because of the things that he refuses to accept were brought to him BY him. It is very easy to wish bad things on others, very easy to be the person who, through his own foolish ego, chooses the easy way – the way of screwing people out of what is theirs so that we can have more by taking away from others (and they have less). What is not so easy is trying to understand, and then to forget, the things that we have said. I say it all the time, that we need to really think about what words we are saying. We don’t realize that whatever it is that we say we want for someone else WILL be something that we end up going through ourselves.

How do I know this?

…there’s this dude…he is dying…

Need I say more?

Living with Integrity means that we can live by the rules which we expect other people to live by, which are our rules, and which we, too, should be living by. If we are not willing to be all that which we expect others to be, we do not have the right to expect others to do that which we refuse to do. We are not so great that we do not need our own measure of improvement, our own measuring stick by which we need only find out where we land on it.

Because when we live by what we expect others to live by, we are only given that which we give, no matter what, good or bad. If we give other people the sameness of free will we expect, good or bad thoughts and energy, good or bad anything at all,  we will also be given that exact same thing.

Again…proof?

Really?

Go look in the mirror.

There’s your proof

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

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…decisions…

Our choices make up the bulk of our tangible lives. Sometimes, it is not the nature of the decisions, neither the outcome of them, but rather and only the energy produced from having decided to do, or not to do, anything at all…

I am seeing a lot of different things and events taking place, and all of them are life changing. I must give props to a friend of mine who lives about 20 minutes from me further north and east, because no matter how long it has been since he had to make this choice, and it was not an easy choice for him to make, it was, none the less, a choice that will, I hope, make his life a little bit easier in terms of having one less thing to think about having to see to still.

And this is the reason that my thought about decisions and making them is something of major importance. I am, by all means, a very patient person. However, there are times when my level of patience is not what I like it to be and it is when I am not made to make a decision, but made to wait for someone else to make one and make one where my time or I am somehow involved. Yes, decision making in and of itself is or can be scary because, of course, we are responsible for each and every one of them. We alone are who has to bear the kuleana (Hawaiian for “responsibility,” sorta) and the weight of that kuleana. The reason that a lot of us are afraid of making decisions is because of the responsibility factor. We don’t want to do anything to upset anyone else, and this includes making decisions which will benefit us but perhaps not anyone else.

This is where the whole enlightenment thing confounds us all – we are taught that it is good to help others, told that we should be glad to help them and give them what we have to them if it is helpful. We want to help, but we do not want anyone to hurt, and making decisions, no matter what, has an energy that, for some folks, gives to one but takes from another. What I really want to know is how the hell is it that whatever decision we have to make that is not yet verbalized, namely the sort where we have not said a thing to anyone else about, will affect someone else? Really, what it is that we, a lot of us, shy from, is this one thing – we believe that if we please one person, that inevitably someone else will be displeased.

No matter what you have been told, you remain the reason for all the decisions

OK, so, yeah, sometimes the decisions we have to make will be on behalf of other people, but for the most part, every tiny thing that we decide is all about ourselves. If a person is not comfortable making a decision, that discomfort will pound them in the head, again and again, and a lot of the times the discomfort is not because of the choices we are making, but more because of the options we have in regards to those choices. In going back to the thing about my friend, this person had a choice to make, a long time ago, and while it is that I am sure the choice they made was the best one for everyone involved, I am also sure that it was not the choice that was also the warmest, neither the fuzziest. Yet, it remained for months that this was what they had to do, not only for the other person, so that the other person might have a chance to grow and perhaps become who he, my friend, has always seen this person who he had to hurt as always having been and as always having had the potential to be.

Difficult Decisions are the ones which make us grow

Fear plays a huge role in all of these decision making times in our lives. We are so scared to hurt other people with the things that we decide we are going to do or not going to do, that much of the time we forget that we all have a habit of trying not to hurt someone else while at the same time we end up sacrificing us in favor of saving someone else’s ego. I will repeat, again, that it is the ego within us that allows us to feel our pain, our shame, our not-so-niceness, and is also that part of us that tells us that if we disappoint people with our decisions that somehow we are also responsible for their feeling better about what we had to decide.

Ummm, no. Emphatically so, no. No, no, no, no,no.

No matter what you have been told, no matter what it was that you were raised to believe, no matter WHAT – not one of us is responsible for how anyone else feels about anything at all. OK, so there are those times when some…thoughtless moron…will speak without the full engagement of their brains and what comes crawling out of their mouths in terms of meaningfulness is nothing short of ignorant at best, and something undefinable at worst.

However, and after the initial moment of boobdom on their part, what you choose to keep as given to you by someone else and what it is that you choose to not pay any attention to is not anyone’s kuleana to deal with but your own. By this I mean that you can continue to be ass hurt about what you heard a while back and you can remain to allow it to eat your brain space up with all of that anger and all of that hurt and all of that ridiculousness of things that are only the opinion of someone else’s making, or, you can see it as an opportunity to practice not being ass hurt. Yes, it is as simple as that. It is not so simple to get to that place within where you can just do it just like that – forget about what was said because it is not the truth, but once it is mastered, there is no turning back, at all, and you really will not want to anyway.

Decision making makes us stronger

When we are able to make decisions about things, even little tiny things, we are made stronger by our own (yup I’m gonna say it) bravery.  Think back to when you were a kid and your little buddies were challenging you to climb a tree, and not just any tree – but an enormous tree and they told you that you have to climb to the top and then climb back down. In that split second there are a lot of things happening in your head. In that split second you are thinking that if you don’t climb the tree that your pals will call you a chicken. In that split second you are thinking about how mad your mom will be if you fall out of that tree and she has to take you to the ER to repair your broken self. In that split second it seems like everything you say, think, do, whatevahs (yes, I write and speak Hawaiian Pigin…deal with it) means everything in the world, means the past, present and future, means everything.

And in that split second, you are absolutely right about all of it. Yet, you still have the decision – to climb or not to climb.

I chose to climb.

To this day there is no chain-link fence, no knotty tree, basically not too many things that I cannot climb, even barefoot. To this day, while I still shudder at times from the things that I have to make decisions on, I also still am not afraid to make decisions. I won’t say that there have not been times when I was not scared, and I will not say that there have not been times when the choices that I have made did some damage to me, but I will say that not once have I ever regretted the decisions that I have made to this point and I will say this much – I am a lot better at it now than I was when I chose to climb that tree.

Decision making allows us to practice having clarity

I think that the reason we are such a mess collectively is directly tied to our ability (or rather, inability) to decide.  For such a long time we have been given, again and again, way too many things to choose from. This is where the imbalance comes from, and yes, as with everything else, it, too, comes from childhood. I say this because I have watched it, again and again, the thing that happens when we are given too much to absorb, too much to look at, to think about, to know. There is, in my opinion, never too much of a good thing. However, the idea that having more of anything…more choices, more stuff, more people…more more more….is not always going to be that same way.

We have been taught that whoever has the most of anything is the one who should be revered. My thinking is that the people who have way too much of anything that they can live without for longer than a month have a whole lot to give to other people. My thinking is that having more stuff to call your own is not what makes anyone happy at all. It is not the tangible things in life that are the most important. The most important things in life cannot be put in a wallet, or into a safety deposit box, is not some sort of monetary investment of any kind. The most important thing in life is that we, as a society, decide sooner than later that all of that which we see with our eyes and know with our brains and feel with our hands were brought by nothing more than our thoughts and our ability to produce things from those very thoughts.

Decisions make us have to clear our minds and think about things. They make us go through the list in our heads about what is important to us and what is not that important to us. Deciding makes us think about why it is that we do or do not want something or a particular situation happening in our lives, and decisions also give us a reason to think about how we will arrive upon our manifestations, no matter when they happen for us.

When we are thinking about something, and we can focus our thoughts and our attention to that one thing, and we can train ourselves to be able to do these things is when the fun starts. The ONLY way that this happens is when we have been brave enough to decide.

Lately I have been a bit on the brave side, on the side that is trust in my own thoughts and inclinations, and lately I have been right on the money when I have decided to do one thing or another. Lately, it seems, there are a lot of us doing this exact same thing. We have all grown weary of the weaknesses within ourselves. We have all grown tired of feeling like we have to explain away anything at all, and mostly that explaining away things has been about what it is that we are worthy of. I knew right away, regarding a few of the last things that I decided would be the right things in my life for me and for no one else, even as those decisions will markedly be a very big deal at some point in the future.

Every decision that any one of us makes is a very big deal. When we decide on anything at all it is not in our thoughts at the moment, at least for a lot of us, what our decisions will make happen for us at some time in the future. If we monitor our thoughts too much, we wreck the magical part of the fruition which comes about from our making any decisions at all. If we do not monitor our thoughts enough we end up making bad decisions that end up affecting that which we see in our minds and that we also want in our lives.

Every little thought you have is part of the process, is part of the grander scheme of things, not only that we can see in the here and in the Now, which, by the way, IS the most important time in our lives, right this moment, but also, that which we conjure only in our thoughts and can see only with our third eye. Whatever it is that we want in our lives requires a bit of thought and one very important thing…

…that one very important thing is called a decision.

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX 

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Starting from 1

Sometimes it seems that the only thing we can do is to start over. When this happens, and keeps on happening is when we really need to consider doing things over again, if for no other reason than that we have no other alternative.

As a writer I am well aware of the tiny little bits of fear that any one of us who writes has when we are embarking on a new writing project. It is not that we are scared to write, but that we do not know what to write. Indeed, a clean sheet of paper is both beautiful and scary all at one time. No one I know who is also a writer will tell me or anyone else that I am wrong about this. The fact of the matter is that our words are like our kids, and because we care about them so dearly, what ends up on that paper matters a whole lot. Like our kids we want to dress up our words so that people will take notice, will bother to read them more than one time and most of all, will love what those words say.

But I am not talking about the words, or the sheet of paper in terms of writing. I am using it as an example to make clear to anyone reading this that just like I will delete, tear up, incinerate anything that does not meet what standards I have for just about anything, I will also look at what is in front of me exactly as it is and see there only that only one of two things can happen with that mess or those words – I can either fix it and hopefully save what is there and build on to it, or, I can start over.

The hardest thing to do sometimes is to just begin again

No one likes starting over again, because starting over again means that somewhere along the lines we skipped a step. This is only partially true, and is only partially true because for the most part all beings like second chances.  When the do over hurts, though, and when we are hesitant to start is when we also know that we really would benefit from the change.

Humans, we do not like change, at all, and this dislike for something that is always going to happen is the reason that so many of us seem to be stuck on pause for a lot of the time. It isn’t that this is the truth. It is that we are paying attention more to what others are having come into their lives that causes us to look at our own and see what is not there rather than what is so there and blatantly so.  I say and write much about the nature of relationship, about how it is that we need dearly to be very clear when stating our own needs, not only to others, but our selves.

Yep – you read it correctly. There are a lot of us who are still more inclined to do for others that which we would not even do for ourselves. And we are doing this stuff for people who also would never do this same thing for us. We wonder more than we do not about why it is that we hurt so badly, and part of the reason is that we have overextended ourselves on behalf of other people. We are so worried what other people think of us, think of who we are, that we are not worried about what we think of us. There comes a time in our lives, more than one time, really, where we are given options and none of the options are good ones. This is when I liken our lives to a brand new sheet of paper.

A brand new sheet of paper upon which to begin authoring a brand new story called “Life”

Let’s not kid ourselves – sometimes, life just sucks, and it is then when it sucks that we have to decide if we are okay with it sucking so badly. If we are fine with what goes on, again and again, and we are okay with the absolute insanity that is doing things over and over again for nothing to change, then this writing is not for you. In fact, if it is that you find yourselves doing and saying and seeing and hearing the same things, over and over again, it is not only that you and other people are already pau hana with it, but that even your Guides are coming to you through others to make it known to you that you have gotta start paying attention to what you think of your life.

If you don’t pay attention to what is not that great in your life, you will not know what is really great in your life, and not about others, but about you. If you don’t take the time to do for yourself as much as you are willing to do for other people, you will be robbing yourselves of what it is that we all so badly need. What we need are things like being able to handle being let down, just like we need to be able to handle NOT being let down. (Yes – NOT being let down). We need to be able to deal with people not liking us or wanting to spend time with us, and more than that, we need to be able to deal with them wanting to do both! If we are not able to deal with the uglies in life, how the hell are we going to be able to deal with things when they are not so ugly? The reason I ask?

Dealing with the ugliness of life

You may find it difficult to fathom, but we humans have a tougher time with the afterward part of the niceness of life. This means that there are a lot of us who, for a long time now, have had the luck of nothing but niceness. After a long time of nothing but niceness, and after a long time of our only being met with that niceness, we get used to ONLY the niceness. It is when the niceness takes a turn and things begin to get ugly that we see how it would have served us to just go through whatever it was that hurt us at the time that it was hurting us. We are so prone to the rose-colored life, so much more open to it than we are to the reality of dealing with equally balanced niceness and ugliness, that we actually take away from our own selves the ability to maintain balance.

We are born with the ability to cope, but are not born with the experiences it will take for us to be able to cope.  I am brought to the thought of kids who are given too much, too soon, who are never told “no,” and whose parents cannot cope with the spoiled children they now feel compelled to complain about. I am brought to the thought of people who, when they have been handed everything in their lives, either by parents or others who are just too inclined to NOT deal with a child having a snit right now, or because said children would bully people to get what they want from others, and am brought to this thought because I know a whole lot about the nature of bullies. I was bullied a lot.

The one thing that remains to be truth and fact about a bully is that a bully stops at nothing, not even physical assault, to get their way. The worst sort of bully is the sort who will grow up and become a bully who refuses to see things any other way than their own. By this I mean that throughout history, the biggest bullies were the very ones who held so much perceived power that once it was that they’d been shown, by their own hand even, that they were not all they thought themselves to be, it becomes ugly. This is where most domestic violence starts – when the attacker has placed themselves so high upon their own pedestal that when the day comes and their victim finally stands up and starts to live their life as a survivor. I know this animal, quite well and not happily so. It is the fear of inadequacy that most abusers do not deal with, because ALL abusers seem to believe that they are above a whole lot, but the one thing they think they are is above reproach, that they are somehow not prone to being corrected when they are wrong.

It is not most of the time that these types are wrong, but ALL of the time.  Yet they rarely ever know this and it is not only because no one tells them that they are wrong, but that they do not know how to be wrong and how to cope with it at the same time. MANY people on this planet are JUST like this. I know it personally, because I was forced to be this and was so forced by someone who took it for granted that a ridiculous piece of paper with their last name attached to my first name somehow and suddenly made me like a pet who must obey. I was bullied with everything this man could bully me with.

Then one day I figured that it was all up to me and that I had to make a choice between continuing to believe what was his truth of me and according to him, or THE truth that I knew to be all mine and solely created by me. I had to take the option to live my way or to ingest a whole bottle of his pain medication. I had to choose to save me and to let him suffer the injustices set out by him at me but that ended up affecting him more than it will ever affect me, ever again.

It can’t, because I know my truth. It can’t, because I have been confirmed of my truth by others. It can’t, because I won’t let it, and it can’t, simply because I have already set out on the path of this part of my life, and he is nowhere or anywhere in it. At all. At least not in the manner that he was to begin with.  Does he “get it?” Probably not. The real question should be, “How much do you care, Rox, if he gets it?” The only answer is “not a lot, if at all,” and it is NOT only because of one particularly way gnarly cool thing which I am calling a very important milestone in my life that happened about a month ago (completely goo here, folks lol), but also because I am the creator of my life. No one else has that ability and neither the capacity to build my life for me.  No one knows me like I know me.

No one knows how I personally deal with crisis, just like I am not privy to know how other people deal with it.  It is not my purpose on this planet to judge others, to tell them how they need to do things my way or that they need to only pay attention to being nice and wonderful to everyone. It is my shared purpose to let people, singularly and in communities, know that things that are not of the highest energy are more easily gone away than is the hard fight that it will take in order to raise us, collectively, to a place where things just seem to be what they are meant to be and not what they stagnate as being. It is yet another shared purpose, of which I have many and with many different types of people, of mine to become the example of what it means to be someone’s other half, to be someone’s best friend and confidante, to be the one person who anyone at all can rely on, if for anything at all, for the truth. It is my shared purpose with other women like me, to embark out into the wild world, to set the standard of what it is that we, as humans and the bearers of generations to come, should aspire to. It is my purpose, on my own, yet so not alone, to be the prime example of that which can be called Unconditional Love.

I would know none of these things had I not experienced the nastiness that was my life, a life which came rife with hurt, with people walking all over me, with things that broke me, that shattered my heart and made me hurt all the way down to the very bones of the soul within me. Had I not chosen to go headlong into the fracas of pain, every time I chose to, I would not be able to tell anyone that indeed, there is always another side.

We just have to be willing to walk over the hot coals of emotional pain, through the icy coldness of rejection, through the tumultuous nature of other people, period.

It is our willingness, not to suffer, but to learn, that makes it so that we have a chance, again and again, to Start from 1.

Yes…a chance, toward greatness, toward healing and most of all, toward love and peace within.

I LOVE YOU ALL

ROX

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The Force (Use it- don’t abuse it)

“Your overconfidence is your weakness…” (Luke Skywalker)

Manipulation is the thing that every single one of us is good at. Whether you believe it or not, it is needed. It may seem otherwise, but the truth is that we all are born with this singular ability to manipulate other people. The difference between us and others is that some of us have honed this skill to unimaginable heights.  Now, I am not saying that we can’t or should not do what we need to do in order to get to where we need to be. I am not saying that at all. What I am saying is that it is not all the time that we really need everything that we want. This is where it gets a little – or perhaps a LOT – sketchy.

The people who are in perceived power have this, or maybe HAD this ability, down to a science. It was not something that they hide and still is something that they do not hide – the ability to manipulate people to get what they want, no matter what it is, and no matter who they have to say or do whatever it is that they have to say or do anything to – they will do what they feel they must in order to get their way.

Manipulation is in direct opposition to free will

I am not going to tell anyone that not one person has or does not ever manipulate anyone else. We ALL do it, but when we do it ALL the time is when we are so very wrong.

It is one thing for a business person to manipulate a deal so that not only they come out a little bit “on top,” but quite another when said business person feels and believes that he or she has to take advantage of the person they are dealing with so as to get a MUCH better deal for themselves, even and especially when said person standing there might need whatever it is that is being offered.

It is one thing for a man who likes the company of women to spend much time with several of them, doing what he will with them, and they know that he is not permanent, and even one thing that this man is very honest about it, but when this sort of man does this ALL THE TIME and does so with ONLY the intent of gettin’ himself a lil’ somethin’ from ANY woman, and continues to so do these things is when he is very suddenly a giant douche bag.  Then, when you add what his reasons (read: excuses) are, you begin to see where this person is coming from and suddenly, you can also see his very dear and deep suffering.

It is one thing for a woman to profess her love for a man, another thing to decide that she is meant for him and he for her, but quite another thing when said woman decides that no matter what, he MUST BE with her, even though said man might no longer have the same feelings that he once did. This is the part when said woman believes that there is nothing in this world that is more important than being right, than winning whatever perceived battle it is that she is fighting with him, over him, and why? BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE A FOOL FOR HAVING BELIEVED HIM and now she must make up the balance somehow, and the only “somehow” that seems right to her is to LIVE like HE has an ultimatum – either it is her way, or she will make his life a living hell. When push comes to shove, the cycle of sickness starts over and the madness continues.

It is one thing for a person to have a lot of friends, to be with those friends often, but quite another when said person is not sure of their own personal power and is instead empowered by what manipulative measures he or she feels they must take (i.e. being the person who ALWAYS pays and is never reciprocated for it in kind or being the one who always has to wait til everyone else has had what they are there for and the person who is overly giving to these people ends up with the proverbial short end of the stick) and becomes the person who people can depend on for ANYTHING and who ends up, even with his or her toys and tangibles still amply there for them and their own use, feeling very empty inside because they begin to realize that all along the only reason anyone hung out with them is because of what they have, tangibly.

We have all been these people, or, at the very little least, have been at least one of these people. Yes, even I am capable of some very, nasty, dirty things, even being who I am, and it is because I am a Pisces. In fact, ALL water signs are capable of this, and all of us, if we are within our wherewithal and are who we truly are on the inside and in spirit, the day ALWAYS meets us where we see who we are and who we have always been and that is where the difference is. That is where we begin to see that this ability to manipulate others in order and only to get where we want to get and be where we want to be and without any regard for others and their lives happens for us. It happened for me a long time ago, this ability to place myself into someone else’s Soul and think dearly about who they are and what it would be like if the tables were turned.

Yet, we don’t all do the right thing. And this is something that is not only a water sign thing, but an everyone thing.  All humans, because we are, in a primal manner, mammals, have the ability and the instinct to survive. Our ability to manipulate other people, other living beings is nothing short of amazing. When we choose to use it to take from others what we want and we haven’t the intention of giving anything in return is when we are wrong – DEAD wrong.

An “amen,” a “testify,” and a “WHAT?”

I am ordained. It is funny to me that, throughout the course of my life, I have been witness to a lot of “Holy men” who employ tactics of political style manipulation to sway their followers into enriching these “evangelical men of God” to the point where said men of god believe that they are owed these things, because, and I have heard it said – God wants these men to live in prestige, to have all the trappings of a lifestyle fit for royalty, and hell yes – because they feel entitled, as “Holy Men,” to all these things that they are so not entitled to.

They use “The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” as the One Who would be upset with them if these men of holy elephantiasis of the guavas do not get a certain amount of tithes every month, you know, for the “building fund,” (meaning the pastor’s overblown egotistical digs) so that these …humans who think they are the actual mouthpiece of their punishing god, can continue to live a life of sumptuous over-indulgence. And they get every dime they manipulate, usually, from very broke people.

Why does anyone think or believe that all of these guys who are in the spotlight are so closely tied to politics? It is because they are or, at least anymore these days, WERE, the grand manipulators. If we think back to the days of Constantine we can see that we have been scared into thinking that we have to get the best of people when we set out to get what we think we need. We are always provided that which we need – Mother Goddess is a good mom and tends to take care of her children. We have the survival skills and the inborn ability and instinct to hunt and gather, have the instincts that all other mammals have. The difference between us and the rest of the kingdom of breathing land mammals is that we have the ability to reason.

That which makes us strong also makes us weak

Our power is vested in our ability to survive, no matter what. This can be taken as our ability to survive, our ability to see to our own needs, and in this manner, this is not a bad thing. However, in every person’s life, there comes a time, often, when we have to make a choice – to do, or not to do? (Because, you know, there is only do, there is no try – yes, Geek of the Star Wars AND the Star Trek persuasion here, thank you very much) We, in that split second moment, have a choice to make and the choice that we must make, no matter what it is, should always include the thought that someone else, somewhere else, is going to experience the reverberation because of the choices that we make.

In those choices that we make there is the energy that is do, or not do, but in everything, no matter what, we have to be. When we Be who we are for real, the truth of our choices will always match it. When we are being who we are in the sense that is “all mine!” we are behaving in the manner that is that of one who is immature in the Soul. Don’t get me wrong – ALL of us have been this way, even in our adulthood. I have been, but that is what happens to a person whose ego and whose soul are not in alignment. When the ego and the Soul are in alignment with one another is when the fun stuff starts. When this happens, we are given the gift of sight where other people are concerned and become empathetic. When we become empathetic we also grow what is known as a “thicker skin.” It is the thickness of the skin that is the ego in us that allows for us to have compassion for other people. When we lack compassion and are more given to the idea that our ego is what is most important is also when we start to think that we are somehow not as perfect as we need to be.

When we think we are not as perfect as we think we need to be is when we think, too, that what other peoples’ opinions of who we are and what we are able to bring to them matters more than who we know ourselves to be. When we step into the shadow that is our thinking that someone else will not think that we are all we know we are, we are stepping also into the darkness that is worrying about what other people think of us as being the very truth of us.

…but, whatever you do….do NOT shun The Dark Side

Yes, references to my love for all things strange and “Star Wars” is very dearly part of this writing, and it is because (1) I love Star Wars and (2) all the REAL Star Wars movies (the first three without the sadness called the prequels) contain within them some very real wisdom. When the Dark Lord tells Luke that he should come to the dark side, I can only think of our United States Congress. I know, I know…I don’t do politics, but they’re the only ones- Congress – who I can think of when I think of people who manipulate others to get their way.

These people are so good at the Constantine thing, the scaring of the populace to get what they want and to get only their own means met. They are the reason that any one of us is in poverty, why a whole lot of us lost everything – NOT because they really DID anything in each of our lives, but because they knew, all of them, that ALL humans within their earshot were going to hear that it would be easy to do a lot of things, to buy a lot of things that would  make a lot of people who felt like they had nothing finally be able to have something, even if only temporarily. Another good set of manipulators is anyone “gangsta rap,” anyone “Kardashian,” “Hilton,” and whoever else is the flavor of the moment. (Yes…even the Duck Dynasty guys…manipulators)

When we want something in our lives, the best way to go about it is NOT think about who else who is NOT you can give you what you want, but more, how you can go about getting what you need, which may also be what you want, that you may have to ask for help from others to have in your life (because all of us needs a little help from our friends from time to time), but that you will not have to do things unsavory in order to have them. When I set out, a LONG time ago, to start using my gifts as a means by which to also live and pay bills, it was without anything resembling fear. And why? Because it was not the same way that every other healer chose to do what they were born to, but was because I knew what worked. I knew then what I know now – that people need people in their lives who can relate, who understand their plight even before said plight has been revealed.

The reason not to shun our own Dark Side, is, again, for about the millionth time, because we need it. It is our edge, and it is what protects us, really, and it is what works in tandem with our light, so that we not only can recognize our darkness but also how our darkness serves us. We cannot know our own light without also knowing our own shadow. We know our shadow because our light is what reveals it to us.  When we no longer feel threatened by the truth of what is there in our shadow is when we can know, too, that our shadow is ours to tame, and that our shadow is what teaches us how to use our own means to the light and to the most perfect lives we can conjure thinking, let alone create.

Basically…

Basically, when we really want something in our lives, the last thing that we need to do in order to have it in our lives is think that we need to manipulate other people to get those things that we want. There is not now, nor has there ever been, any reason at all for us to not believe that we are powerful enough to bring into our awareness the things that we so dearly want to have as our own.

Basically, when we really want something in our lives, what needs to be done is asking the question, not of how we will get those things, but why we want them.

Basically, really, there is no need for people to feel like they have to get one over on anyone else, because basically, whatever is meant to be for us will be for us and no manipulating anyone will make it different for anyone at all.  When it is that you are meant to have something in your life that is meaningful, gorgeous and right, it will just happen, and it will happen at the time that it is meant to happen and at the time that it needs to happen and perhaps even when we want it to happen most.

Think about THAT for a second and THEN tell me I am crazy.

I LOVE YOU ALL

ROX


Rainbows

A rainbow is symbolic of many things, but the one thing that it symbolizes for a whole lot of people is the connection, not only to the Divine, but also to each other. 

There are many songs about rainbows. Rainbows are the thing that little kids are so thrilled to see after the rain has passed. I recall vividly being at my Auntie Charlotte’s house, as a small child, on the Big Island of Hawai’i, her beautiful voice singing and the rain falling gently on the roof. She sang her song, strumming her ukulele, and as she sang, even as the rain fell, splinters of sunlight shone through the clouds, passing in front of it as if it were the spotlight, and the clouds, the dancers. I recall being drawn in by her voice, and then looking out the window, through the screen, to the vast Pacific waters, and there it was – a Rainbow like none I had seen in my very short life at that time. I think I might have been maybe 4 years old.

Rainbows have always affected me in ways that no human could understand unless they are also affected, not only by their natural beauty, but because of the idea that somehow, we are given these things, these signs and symbols as a means for our understanding to grow. Many people only equate the rainbow these days with the LGBTs, but for many more than only those guys (Hi Greg, Chris and Amy!) it seems that rainbows are more the bridge, symbolically, of the beauty of life when the storms have passed us by.

Many more people, namely folks like me, not only see the rainbow as symbolic of a storm which has passed, but also as a connection, a bridge, if you will, to The Divine.  I read a passage written in Hawai’ian, that translates to “The Rainbow of Heaven is Your Name” (O ka’onohi ula o ka lani ko inoa). This can mean a whole lot of different things to a whole lot of different people, but to a quiet majority of people, it means that we have a definite bridge which connects us to the ether, to the things known but not seen, and to every single wish that every single one of us has ever had.

Wishing

I am a confirmed, and happily so, believer in wishing. Wishing leads us to imagine things, and imagining things makes it so that we have dreams to chase, desires to manifest, and things to accomplish in life. Without the childlike ability to wish for better things, we do not and will not ever know exactly what our power is all about. I will refer back to that one thing, about being powerful enough to manifest what it is that we want in our lives. Without our ability to create these thoughts that sometimes seem very outlandish, we do not know exactly what it is that we can call our own power.

Yes – you read it correctly, that it is my thought, my opinion and my very experience to say that without all of those grandiose ideas, without all of those “it could happens” and without that gigantic imagination of yours, you will never know what your power is or can be. I used to think it was impossible for people who have crossed into the other side to talk to us on this side, but I have been, for about a little less than 6 months now, without my realizing so, until recently, that I am able to be the voice of those who have, completely out of their own control while they were still with us here, gone home to be with Spirit.

I wanted to be able to talk to them, and they, instead talk to and through me.

For the bulk of my adulthood, and there are not a lot of people who are reading this who know what I am talking about, but those who do know what I am talking about, I stand as a symbol of great hope of things we thought were gone forever and the returning of those things, situations and people that we each were thought to be gone forever. In some cases, it is without saying that in the physical sense, some  folks just cannot come back. Yet, the ones who can, if we wish hard enough, do the work involved, go in with an open mind and an open heart, and just believe that what it is that you want is out there somewhere, you will end up with that one thing, or even something remarkable better. In some cases, and I may be only speaking for very self this time, that one thing that could be better and that you have pined for and wished for – they can be and sometimes are one and the same.

The importance of the connection between ourselves and Spirit

We use the rainbow as the symbol of hope in this writing, hope that one day, the things that we so wish to have will be ours. While we know that the rainbow is physically just a prism, we also know that it is not the rainbow that is the hard part, but is the unbelievable part that appears after the storm clouds have passed us by.  Life for a lot of us is very stormy, is very harsh and ugly, but if you can bother to see those times as being akin to the clouds which have rained on your parade for so very many long years, and you can go back in your mind to a time when you were but a child, staring in awe at this creation that only the Mother Goddess could give birth to.

It is when we are being raised that the harshness of life comes at us from all directions, that we find out how cool we really are. Right now we are all looking at our lives as though it is one long bad dream, one long time where the only thing that matters is trying hard to make it to the next day without falling apart. If we could look at life as though we look at the rain when it falls, we know that cyclically, the rain must fall (“these are the seasons of emotion…upon us all a little rain must fall..” gotta love Zeppelin…no really, you do…you must love Led Zeppelin …just kidding…or am I?). We are aware that the rain must fall so that it can wash away all of the things that were brought about in its absence.

When the rain is here, and it stays for longer than we care for it to stay, we get antsy, we get hostile even, but what we seem not to get is the idea that the storms will pass, and again the sun will peak through the clouds, and while we are waiting for the warmth of the sun, there, in place of the rain, as it begins to taper off, appears the rainbow. Rainbows are not really half of anything, but are really a circle. Circles are not meant to do anything other than continue, endlessly, much like the cyclical nature of life itself.

We lose so much of what and who we are, and we do so on behalf of other people. When we choose to Be Love rather than to only expect it from others is when the storms begin to pass, is when we understand what it means to have love for everyone, but mainly for ourselves. It is the Love within us all which makes us able to love anyone else. It is the love within us all that compels us forward everyday, believing that we are meant to have something unique and special and all for ourselves, even though sometimes what we end up with ends up having to be shared. And share it we will, because that is as it should be.

It doesn’t matter if you cannot see what you want in your life as being on its way to you. It is, whatever it is that you asked for, wished for, on its way to you, no matter what…

…that is, as long as you believe you are worthy of it. But that thought – the worthiness thought – is not for this blog. Rainbows symbolically scream volumes about hope, about things wished for and those wishes being in manifest.  I am still in shock, albeit happily so, at my own proof that the rainbows we each seek in life are there, and that we have to look past the storm to visualize it. We are who create the rainbows, the bridges across the limitations of the consciousness that most folks just settle for having.

We will say that when I set out on my own endeavors, that there is always that thought in my head about what lies just on the other side of those things, those thoughts and those wishes for me, and how many of those things I dearly and truly wished for with everything in me. There are not a lot of people know what that was, but those who do know also and absolutely know that even in my shock, I am about as happy as a chick can be.

And really, it was because I never gave up believing in things that a whole lot of people believe are just meant to make me lose myself in the nothingness that they believe is thought.  For a lot of people, thoughts are not now nor have they ever been and neither shall they ever be anything more than things that come to mind.

Believe in your symbols, and believe in your truth, because they are the guide map to where you want and need to be in your life. Many of us have yet to meet up with the people who we have a mission in this life time with and many more are still very down about the idea that they believe there is only this world, only what is contained within the tangible nature of things and not in the intangibility of thought. Thoughts are beautiful things. They are where we live while we are alive. They are meant to give clues as to where we belong and with whom it is that we belong.  When we believe that we know better than Spirit does, and we keep on fighting the things that we think are there and hurting us, when in reality, they are there for our benefit. They are there to show us what we do not want, what we cannot live without, who it is we are meant to hang with, meant to be with, and most of all, they are there because without them, we don’t know who we are.

Once we cross that bridge to the other side of our thoughts and accept that we might just be all that and a bag of chips, we might also begin to believe that for once in our lives, the rainbow is right – it is okay to dream, because dreams indeed do become reality.

I know this.

For sure, and with a grandness like nothing else.

Pay attention to the things that are like rainbows for you, and cross over to that other side of thought, because you don’t know how truly powerful you are until you get to that other side of those things and those thoughts, and know that you made it there, were given what you asked for, perhaps more.

Lemme tell you what…I could not have asked for more. I got what I wanted. Not because I believed in rainbows, but because I simply and only believed that I could do what it was that I intended to do a very long time ago.

Yay me.

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

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Making the case for every day of the year

“…Love is all around you…” (Tesla’s “Love Song”)

Often, right around this time of the year, the questions about love, about finding love, about all things love begin to be emailed, texted and chatted to and with me. Most of the time I am asked if I know when someone’s twin flame will show up, or if I know that anyone at all will find Love at all.

You can imagine the responses that I get in reply to the things that I send back to ANYONE at all about why it is that, at least to me, it should be Valentine’s Day everyday where love, for anyone, regardless of who they are in our lives, is concerned. Of course, when you are like me and your job in the world is to be the very conduit of Love and healing for just about anyone who I come into contact with, whose lives I happen to happen upon, for whatever reason it is that I have to be there at whatever time it is that I appear on the scene and in their lives, Love is the easiest thing in the world to do. To simply Love others is just who I am, is exactly what I do, and is how I navigate the open waters of Life.

Yet, we all seem to get a little too…ugh…right around now. Right now it is 3 days prior to Valentine’s Day 2014. Right now there is an entire population of men (and women, too) who are very dearly not looking forward to this coming Friday. And who can blame them? I mean, really – when you think about it, why is it that only one day a year are people more inclined to show, through measures of gift giving, of gifts of Love, when in reality, it is our job to Love people anyway, our job to be able to be empathetic toward anyone at all, walk a few feet in their proverbial shoes, and know, for sure, that they are worthy of this thing called Love? Why are we only so concerned with how big of a diamond you give to her, and why are you only concerned with wearing anything fun underneath those mom clothes but one time a year?

What the hell is wrong with a society which chooses to remain permeated and inundated with a token of Love, when in reality what we ALL need, no matter what kind of Love it is, is the real thing?

Because loving others means that we have to be real

Love, in all of its forms and energy, cannot ever be pretend. Think about it for a bit and you will know that I am right – ever tried, for years and years, to Love someone who was SO cantankerous, so, so, SO acidic in their own views of things, of life, of what love is supposed to be, that eventually, trying to keep up with THEIR ideal just seemed like it would be the wrong way and the wrong kind that was offered by you?  Is this the reason why I am not too very…I don’t know…not one of those people who is inclined to see things in the same way that anyone else would when it comes to things as big and important as loving anyone at all, no matter who they are, for whatever reason it is that they need it.

I learned a long time ago that loving anyone at all should not come with conditions. I had a lot of conditions placed on me for a lot of the time that I have walked the crust of the earth in this lifetime. None of what I was shown throughout that time, other than one instance, could be called or even named as being what is the truth of unconditional love. I think it is sort of a deal breaker when anyone says that “He/She better KNOW that I want one of those (insert lovely gift thingy here) or ELSE!”

Really? Are you kiddin’ me? You mean to tell me that all this time, I have had it wrong? I am not supposed to give or expect to receive back anything remotely even appearing to me to be the truth in Love as it is meant to be? You mean that I am not supposed to care about people, and I am not supposed to know their pain, not supposed to offer them what they need when they need it, and it is because of WHAT????? ARE YOU SURE????

NO ONE- and I mean NO ONE at all can or will convince me that Love, no matter what sort, is only meant for one day of the year. I will not ever believe that the only day of the year that we are required to show love to anyone else at all is February 14th. I have never believed this way. I have always been able to Love people, in the manner that they believe that I am there to, no matter what. I have always been able to see  the good in others, always been able to just deal with and digest the ugliness because I see others only through the eyes of Love. This is my purpose in life – to Love, and it should be so with all of us, because all of our singular purposes in this lifetime are tied to the energy called Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love is NOT something that most folks want to believe that only Christ was able to give – I beg dearly to differ.

If your dog can do it, then what the hell is your problem?

Your dog…yes, your canine buddy (mine’s name is Kimo – he is the Killer Ninja Puff) has Unconditional Love down to a science. He knows that he is there but to Love, to trust and to have your companionship. You, as his human, give him the same thing. Your excuse as to why it is that you can’t give love to other humans like you do your dog is because you can’t trust humans like you can your dog. This is a problem. This is THE problem. Did anyone ever stop to think that the people anyone at all cannot trust in anyone at all’s singular life is mirroring to you at all the real thing that is underlying your own issues with other people? I mean it is really very simple – learn to trust you, learn to trust your intuition, learn to trust that you are good enough to be loved, and most of all, practice loving you.

The reason that a lot of people do not ever trust anyone else (and I get it, I really do) is because they cannot trust themselves. They cannot trust themselves to trust someone else, because in trusting someone else, they have to be able to let their guard down and let anyone else at all, in. They cannot trust that they will never not be hurt again. They cannot trust that they will be strong enough to handle the dings to their ego when other people tell them that they are not perfect. They cannot trust anyone to not only see them in their glowing light as much as they cannot trust them to also NOT only see their darkness.

People have a hard time trusting others because for forever and five years now we have been conditioned to only see what bad can happen, so we completely cut ourselves off from the good in others, good that is all for us, given by them. People have a hard time trusting because, yes, they, you, me , we all have been so hurt, so battered, our hearts broken into a tiny million pieces, over and over again, that it is of little wonder that we have not already completely wiped out the population of people on the planet. We have learned very well to hate, and we have learned well to judge others for who they are not. We have learned to see only what we think is wrong with someone else, not realizing the things that we see there in them also lives within us. We are so busy pointing out what someone else’s imperfections are that we cannot even begin to see it when someone else points ours out. That is when the hurt is the biggest, and it is not because they pointed it out, but because we refused to see it there when so clearly there it is.

If you could have just one wish

Think about it for a minute – if you could have one wish become true, you would pick something that would not be finite or tangible, but would give you what you needed in order to have that tangibility. If you could have what you thought you wanted right this moment, instead of bothering to look at you from the inside, out, and you could see there what it is that makes you unique and apart from everyone else, would that one wish still be the same, or will it have changed? And, will it have changed according to what is best for you, or would it change to be something that would accommodate someone else – anyone else – so that you would be more acceptable to them and according to what THEY want, not only from you, but from a lot more than only you.

When someone else tells us that they have certain demands and conditions that must be met (or else they will find something else to ‘fix’ us, or, they will simply find someone else who is, at least in their heads, more acceptable to their ego’s senses), that is not Love. I don’t know what to call it other than bullshit. I know what it feels like, though. Very well, I might add, the energy that is never being good enough for someone else and the energy that is telling someone else that unless I am worth a few freakin’ lousy dollars spent on flowers and a bunch of chocolates, that they are not worth my time. This is SO wrong, on SO many levels. No wonder why people think they have to score points with anyone at all, just to get them to take notice that the other person has taken notice.

That is SO manipulative and creepy, so wrong and so…abusive, on an emotional level, that I can barely stand it! I mean, don’t get me wrong, because really, I like presents, and all those other things that all women love. Yet, I am not going to put any sort of pressure on anyone, ever, to prove their worth to me – in terms of people, at least where I am concerned, you are either worth my time, or you are not. If you are worth my time, you will know it, because I am not shy about telling people exactly how I feel about them, no matter who they are.

If you are not worth my time, that, too, will be very obvious, because I don’t waste my time with people who don’t even bother to see me for who I am. This is not to say that because I might not say hello to you everyday, that I don’t want to be friends or that you are not one of my most favorite cousins. It is to say, though, that no one in my life is required to prove how valued I am by the show of trinkets. No one who I know and love, and no one who knows and loves me, is ever, or has ever been held to some secret pact made that says we have to prove anything to one another.

It just is. That is all there is to it. There are 365 days in a year, and every couple of years, 366. We can manage, I think, to find one thing about anyone at all that is love. And love is not only between two people, is not only romantic, and when it is romantic, it should also include a modicum of friendship, because that is where we first learn to love others – through our friends and the people who we have spent the most time with throughout our lives. Sometimes we find that there are things about them that we might not like, but the love does not go away, ever. It remains the same as it always was, and becomes bigger and more real as time passes.

When that happens, and you have been through the wringer more than one time, you begin to know, for sure, that everyday should be marked for Love between human type folks.  Love is something that is given in the form of energy, and yes, sometimes trinkets. Yet, to expect trinkets to be the ultimate show of Love is somehow lacking. Some people just don’t get it – opening a gift is great, but knowing, everyday of your life, that you are special…

…that is a gift in and of itself, every single day.

Love, everyday. Don’t put so much pressure on what is in the heart shaped box. Doing so may make it so that there is so much pressure that eventually the bubble bursts.

The only thing left will be the energy that is that of the goo brought about by too many expectations placed on one person who loves you every single day of the year.

Think about it. Seriously.

I would rather be someone’s reason to smile everyday, than someone’s reason anyone feels required to buy me something one lousy day a year….

That’s not Love. That’s a box of chocolates and flowers that will eventually die anyway. Yeah yeah… I know…it’s the thought that counts…

So, what are you really thinking about in terms of what Love really is?

Oooooh MAN! Y’all weren’t ready for THAT one, were ya?

Haha….yup, you know it ! I TOTALLY know what it is…and of course –

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

RJB_NEW_PO_AO..MEME

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WIsdomFromAWiseAssMeme

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