Monthly Archives: April 2015

Soul Contract

Hawaiian 100 dollar bill yo

Human beings absolutely NEED an exchange of energies with other human beings.  There is something called an exchange of energies between souls. That there is this exchange is one thing, but that within that exchange is a contract created is completely a different story.

Ho’okupu, in the Hawai’ian language means to honor someone else with an even exchange of Mana, or spiritual energy, for the work that they have done, for the thing that they have brought to someone else that is a thing or a service that the other person needed. It is essentially the word that I want to call “barter,” but it isn’t bartering – it is exchanging goods or services for pay or honors.

It is not until we have chosen, instead, to not honor the agreement that was made between souls, let alone human beings on the tangible level, that the ugliness begins. The ugliness begins when the contract between souls has been violated. The way that it is violated is simply when one soul’s body decides that it has a better idea and that better idea involves that person NOT honoring the contract between souls.

The Contract Between Souls

There are a lot of ways in which I could write this so that it would be much easier for people to not get offended when I say that there are way too many people who we share the air with who are SO cheap, or at least it seems like it, that they will scrutinize every tiny little thing that you bring to their attention in terms of what is, and more, what is not, correct about the reason why it is that they seem to believe that you are at their service when in reality what you are is IN service to all of humanity.

This is not about just money, folks. This more about respect for other people and what they do that makes them thrive. Think about it this way – would you want to walk away from something that you so enjoy doing and also get paid for just because people seem to refuse to want to pay you? And really, I don’t know if it is a refusal to pay, or more of a control thing, but I do know that humans, for the most part, like feeling like they have some sort of measure of control over other people, like making it seem as though we have the one-up on others.

When we choose to not exchange the proper energies, we don’t have anything more than a Karma debt.

Ladies and gentlemen…once again to the stage – KARMIC DEBTS

You see, folks, Karma, as most of you know, is very real. It takes its form in a manner that whoever must make things right will understand even as they might not understand why it is that they are now having trouble trying to get what they have coming to them. The one thing that is most maddening is when the Karma debt that others must pay and the lesson brought to them through us also involves our not getting what we need from them. This is not to say that we will never get what we need, only to say that if we are indeed, and unknown to our thoughts, the teacher of the lesson for the person refusing to trade right energies, we will suffer alongside them, and we won’t know why.

This is when the most of us think it is that we are who are paying this debt, when in reality, we are part of the important line of teachers for someone else. I know this lesson very well. I have been the bringer of lessons for a whole lot of people, and when it comes to that point where they are not getting it in terms of why they are suffering, I am driven to ask them who they have been to that point and why it seems as though they are not paying attention to the theme of their pain.

The Theme of Your Pain

At this time, the pain in my life is connected to tangibles. It is because for the entirety of my life, I have always placed people before things. Then I married the one person who, until recently, I didn’t believe was a very greedy, insecure mess of a human being whose only security came in the form of how much money and toys he had.

My money and toys, for a long time, because that is how HE wanted it, were connected to his ability to gain those things for me, as though I would never be able to gain them for myself. The problem with this was that I was being abused, and because of that, I was totally dependent upon his choices so that I could survive. I won’t lie – it was a nice, materially rich survival, but in that method of survival, my soul was dying.

My soul was dying because it seemed as though I was not going to be what or who I was meant to become. While I know that it is not the case, I still had to go through all what I went through in order to be this me. In order to be this me, I had to exchange these energies with this person for a very long time so that in my own thinking, I would automatically have that thought that even as money is nice, people are nicer. Even as things make me happy, being with the people who I love the very most is the most important thing in the world to me. I needed to be reminded of this, and the only way that Spirit would be able, through Her own Wisdom and Her own measure of communicating particularly with me, was through the giving to me and the taking away from me OF me.

In order for me to be this particular me, and a version of me who I can now tolerate, I HAD TO learn a whole LOT of truths about a whole LOT of things and those lessons had to come through the person and the relationship that I thought, wrongly, that I would be able to depend on the most.

I am ecstatic to say that, even though I went through whatever it was that I went through, I learned who I am by learning who I am NOT. In order to know who this version of me is, I had to peel away the layers of wrong-me so that I could get to this me.

In order to be this me is the same as “in order to be this you”

That anyone else will break a soul contractual agreement is one thing, but that we do not know why it is that we have to suffer with other people is quite a different thing all together.

We do not know what another person’s purpose in our lives is right at the moment that we meet them. We do not know what it is that they are teaching us or what we have to learn from them. We only know that they are in our lives and that whatever purpose they hold for us remains to be seen.

I am not the only person on this planet who has had to go through things. My Maestro has been through a whole LOT of things, and my Mexican soul sister, a woman who I grew up with and whose name is Karla, also been through a whole lot of things, and just like me, these two people had to get through some very ugly crap in order to be who they are right now, and who they are right now is not someone who they thought they might be. While I cannot say who either of these people might have thought they might be is neither here nor there, but, the fact remains that they each have gone through so very much that to think that either of them would be here, alive and well and here to live their purpose is the most miraculous thing of all to me.

It is miraculous NOT because I do not believe that either of the two of them would be able to handle whatever came their way to this point, but because of the strength of their character being so strong that there would be no other way for either of them. This is the trade off they each made with Spirit, the deal that they each made that told not only The Mother Goddess who they knew they were meant to be, but that they were not willing and neither ready to throw in the towel and let the people who let them down in their own lives win again.

They didn’t win, in case you didn’t know

I could sit here and tell people what normally I will tell them, and that is that while it appears that other people in our lives who bring to our lives all of the turmoil have not won, it is a hard sell when I am telling people one thing and their lives are telling them what they, the people, have heard for the majority time of their lives – things change for the better if we are willing to see to it.

Yes…you have to be willing to see to your own lives, and you have to be willing to believe that you have value and are worthy to live that best life. You have to be able to grit your teeth, get through the last of the crap from the last crap you went through and all of the crap that came before it. You have to use your strength and your will and you have to cry, laugh, get good and fucking angry, and most of all, you have GOT TO try.

If you do not try to at least be the best version of you that you can create, that is when all those people who talked all that shit to you for all that time will win. If you do not at least keep up with the contract that you have with your own soul to live your life to the fullest in every part of it, everyone else will win. If you do not try hard to just not allow what other people think of you just not matter anymore (and we ALL have this problem, myself especially included), they will win. If you bother with being bothered, most assuredly, they will win.

They will win because you will have allowed theirs to be the governing voice in your head instead of the voice that tells you that you are worthy to Love you. They will win because you will lower your own self to accept what they think about you as your truth. They will win because you will, once again, have allowed them to bully you into thinking that you need to be what is their model of you rather than who you are for real.

They will win because even though you do not believe one word of what they are saying, have said, might say, you give a shit of what their opinion of you is overall, and overall, the only opinion that ought to matter to you, at least at first, is your own. This is not to say that you should not be bothered by what people think of you, because it is human to want to be Loved and accepted by people, period. But, when it comes to who you are, for real, and people do not like who you are, which is different than what you look like (you’d be amazed at h ow many adults don’t realize that they think what they look like is who they are…yeesh!) it makes you wonder what it is that you can do to make them Love you.

Nothing – you can DO nothing to make ANYONE Love you as you are

Unfortunately, human beings do not come with a guarantee that says that we are going to be Loved by everyone justbecause we are this version of who we are. The contract between souls will not allow for it. If we are Loved by everyone, we will not know what is darkness against the Light. We need to know what is our own darkness so that we can also know our own light, and in that knowing we have to also be able to see in others that which is also within us. That’s right – we have to know what is darkness, not to avoid it, but to be able to use  it.

Using our darkness to also highlight the light that is within us is one of our tools for learning. Without being able to recognize what is the part of us that can be intolerable, can be offensive, can be that person who just sort of climbs into their shell of the soul for protection from the ugliness that is or can be life, we do not know ourselves fully and therefore cannot accept who we are because we will not know who we are. Without being able to know what we are not, we cannot know what or who we are, and if we do not know that much, how the hell can we honor the contract of the Soul which we have made not only with others, particularly our Soul tribes, and more particularly, our very selves?

You see, other people are not the only ones who we have a soul contract with. We also have this same contractual agreement with ourselves. It isn’t only my Soul Tribe who I have contracts of the soul with, isn’t only the Maestro, isn’t only Karla, my kids, my blood relations…I also have to honor this contract with me.

Honoring the contract with you

We let ourselves down the most, and we do this when we are not willing to live up to who we are rather than what is stressing us out in the tangible world. This is not my telling you that the work that you do in the tangible sense does not have to get done or is somehow unworthy of the time and Love you spend on it. I totally get it.  We all know that is not the truth.

What I am saying is that any time we take on work, and any time we are in an exchange of energies with other people, our contract with ourselves is that we do our highest best, no matter what we are doing. When we do things at a lower energetic level in the soul, and we do things because we want other people to know what it feels like if we purposely and out of spite or revenge don’t do them, whose soul are we actually dishonoring? Theirs…or ours?

Our own, of course, and we are told this much when we leave a place and we know we left not having done our highest best good, or at least have given our highest best effort, and that little voice within tells us that we could have done better. This is not me saying to get taken advantage of, because you are, for the most part, smarter than that, and honoring the soul contract with one’s own self is not one that says that you have to do things to impress other people or to even make them like you, and certainly you do not, under any circumstance, do things honorable for dishonorable people .You know to do things that make your soul feel like it has done the best that it could with the body that it lives in, doing the tangible things that it does with the soul’s purpose in mind.

That is how things need to be – everything done with the Soul’s purpose in our minds, no matter what it is we are doing…even our tangible work in the world. 

I Love You All



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Hey Kids ! I am busily writing my book, #MedicineDance and will be back after the weekend to write #TheManaoBlog. I have chosen, instead, to post this article by Denise Le Fay about all of us seemingly feeling like we are somehow all PMSing…even the guys…I Love You All ! Aloha !! ROX ❤

The New Moon


The moon is one thing that we all have in common every day and night. We look to the sky to seek her soft, comfortable glow. Little do too many of us realize the powerful energy available to us when the moon is new.

The Moon.

Like the Sun behind the darkness of rain clouds, we can guarantee that even if we cannot see her there in the night time sky, She is still there. The moon can be  thought of as “mother,” and the Sun “father.” In our birth charts they are the first two and probably the most important two, along with the rising sign (our game face), of all of the signs and planets and positions in our birth charts.

Yet, there is another part of this…weirdness, another part that lots and lots of people don’t understand.

Yes, the reason that you feel the way that you feel right now IS directly related to the moon, the phase it is in, and…

…what sign your moon sign is in.

You see, whether you want to believe me or not, and whether you want to absorb the idea that every one of us is affected by the moon, her phases and the rest of the planets is not on me to decide.

You can decide that I am full of garbage, and decide that you hold the ultimate fate that you will meet one day, and you can choose to think that I am somehow off of my rocker but I am telling you the truth when I say that we are dearly affected by the moon and the phases that she goes through every month.

“Moon Time”

Women are inextricably connected to the moon and her phases. Our bodies follow the cycle of the moon, and we are dearly affected by it when the energy of the moon changes. The energy of the moon changes when the sign of the moon changes. When the sign of the moon changes, whatever is our personal lunar sign is affected by the qualities of whatever sign the moon is in.

Right now the moon is in fiery Aries. Folks with their moon represented by a fire sign and dependent upon which fire sign it is in will determine their feelings and how those feelings are presented outwardly.

What also affects us is when the sign the moon is in transitions into the next sign. In my case, this last change of signs really messed with me, but because I chose this time to ponder through feeling what I was feeling, and because I chose to make it so that I would be consciously aware of what I was feeling and why, I came up with the reason why I trip out when specifically the moon changes from a water element moon to a fire element moon. Particularly when the moon changes from dreamy Pisces, to action oriented Aries.

When the moon hits your Soul, never mind your eye…

The planets and their energies are all directed by gravity, but you all already know this. The Earth’s gravitational pull is what determines how far or near the moon appears to be during its phases. Again, you already know this.

What you might not know is that, every single day of our lives, we are affected by the moon and the planets and what signs and houses they are in astrologically. For instance, I was born with my lunar sign as Taurus, the bull. Taurus is a fixed, feminine (receptive) sign. The moon rules our inner selves, our emotional selves. When the moon is in a water sign, depending upon which sign and the planets and all that other good, weird stuff, determines my attitude as drawn out emotionally.

The moon is in a masculine (outward and the world can see it) sign in Aries right now. Aries is a cardinal sign, and cardinal signs are about action. Aries is the sign of action, of gettin’ things done, and Aries, for the most part, plows through things, most of the time without thinking about it. Aries is about “Me, myself, and I” (thanks Dr. Standley). Taurus is about leisure and comfort, about the beautiful things in life and how we love and cherish them. Taurus is a fixed sign, and “n the moon,” is the most stable sign emotionally.

When the moon is in a water sign, most of us who have Taurus as our lunar sign will be fine and dandy, again, dependent upon which water sign it is in, and if I had to choose it, I would have to go with Scorpio, because it, too, is a fixed sign (meaning that it will do things this way, feel things this way, think about things this way, and dammit – we ain’t budgin’), and also, Pisces, because it is mutable (meaning that those with a Pisces moon…a Pisces anything, in that house or planet that it sits in, are not totally set on one way and one way only…keep reading…).

When it comes to the Cancer moon, because it is a cardinal sign, my Taurus seems a bit uncomfortable, or maybe it is that my inner Bull does not like the emotional currents of the Cancerian moon.  Wherever it is in my chart, your chart, everyone’s chart that Cancer resides is what makes all the difference in the world.

My Cancer resides in my 12th house. The 12th house scares people because that is where our secrets and everything Karmic is that we have to learn is at. Cancer represents home, hearth and family. If you have read anything by me as presented in my music blog, you would know why I would say that I have never been the most favored in my family, at least on one side of it, and yes, it helped shape who I became.

When the moon is in the sign of Cancer, every little emotional “thing” that affects me about the home, the hearth, nurturing, the family, “mother”…all of it comes crashing into me because the moon in our chart shows us emotionally, who we are. (Again, mine is in Taurus – the most stable sign for the moon to be in, which is a very good thing given my Pisces sun and Leo rising, and hell yes my 12th house in Cancer – the 12th house is ruled by my Pisces).

What the moon is doing when it changes both phases and signs, and wherever it is that our sign is positioned will tell us how we are being affected and why. I just told you about the Cancerian moon, sort of, and here is where I was going with that…

Whatever house it is that the actual moon is in at any given time will absolutely affect us emotionally in whatever house that sign is in. Cancer is ruled by the moon.

When the moon is in Cancer, my 12th house lights up like a Las Vegas billboard and everything within that house that the moon is shining its glow on will be revealed, meaning that all of my secrets and hurts and karma stuff is going to be in my face and I am going to feel every bit of it, given that how we feel is directed by the moon, its phase and the sign that it is in, and also the house, or area of life, it is in in my birth chart.

This does not mean that for those three days that the moon is in a certain phase and sign that I am no longer a lunar Taurean. It means that whatever sign the moon is in, not only will the house that the sign is in will be shed light on, but also, my bull will take on shades of, in this case today, April 18, 2015, the ram, Aries.

That the bull is a fixed sign is one thing, but that the new moon in Aries wants to forge ahead with the things that are near and dear to the Taurean moon in my chart is not a mistake. Right now, I am contemplating where it is that I would like for my hula halau (Dance studio) to be in operation.

For the last five years I have been figuring out what my halau is about (healing from the soul, out), and for the last year, I have been figuring out if I want to continue with the private healing sessions (umm…not primarily, no…how will I get paid only doing this Hula thing that way?), or do I want to go back to group lessons for lunch time sessions (ummm…that’s okay but lately I have not been doing that at all so this means that it is likely time to just restructure that or simply just not have that anymore…remains to be seen), or, if I want to do both of those things AND teach like I have always taught, which is once or twice a week, during the week, for two or three hours split into two days or two or three hours once a week (Probably the latter…again…wait and see…).

What you have just read is not only my Bull (astrologically known as the CEO) thinking, but, the new moon in Aries (the go-to sign…and also the sign of war) getting impatient with me and my Bull for not making things easier so that we can get a move on with it already (this would be the fish in the Sun as Pisces, being a safe little goldfish when really, she is a Shark and needs to be reminded of that…which is the Aries New Moon’s job…)

“What’s your point, Rox?”

My point is that during the new moon phase, and depending upon the sign which the moon is in at the time will determine the things that we are more inclined or not inclined to do and indeed EVERYTHING that is emotionally tied to those inclinations). Right now the moon is in Aries, and as I have already stated, Aries is the sign of action, because it is a fire sign. Fire signs represent action.

Since the Bull in my chart is the CEO, and the fish in my chart is the real me, and the game face in my chart is Leo, the lion (duh…ever seen my hair? There’s a reason my mom used to tell me to brush my hair because I LOOKED LIKE A BABY LION…think about it) and since all of these things point to my creating new ways to implement things in terms of my working life (my moon sits in my tenth house of public life in a career way, my game face in first house allows me to hide the terrified me in Pisces sun when speaking publicly about the terrors of emotional abuse).

Since it is a fiery new moon in Aries, the only thing that all of these things is pointing to is that I need to continue forward, be brave in the face of the naysayers, and not give a shit about what others think of me and my Medicine Dance, my being a teacher of all things “weirdness,” my writing things that I write, and mostly, my being who I really am through it all and in spite of other things.

Of course, there are other things in my chart that will implement this lunar Arien energy right now as it is helping my sometimes “thought-lazy” bull get her okole up to do what she is best at, is helping my stuck-in-an-aquarium-and-convinced-it-is-a-goldfish-but-is-really-a-shark Pisces sun, and making my Leo rising (the high priestess, NOT the queen, at least in this instance) that much more compelled to not only strive for that which She has always striven for (excellence), but to also absorb that which she has earned in terms of knowing one’s self enough to not be taken by it when the moon hits her soul like sometimes it will…

…and sometimes, it will hit the soul like a brick hitting a brittle window and crashes through the rose-colored hue that not a lot of people are willing to try to crack because the Pisces is both the goldfish and the shark, and the Pisces is who will take it all in and for the most part, take it all wrong. The lioness only seeks to be seen.

The Bull?

You can think of her as the one who, solidly grounded in her strength, is the driving force which the Aries new moon pushes to succeed, even in the face of difficult circumstances.

I Love You All

Aloha… ROX 

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Why Our Names Are SO Important

What we are named is a very important thing. Our inoa (name), is the thing that tells people who we are, and lots of us have the audacity to even make fun of someone’s name because we can’t say it correctly.

newborn photo manao blog name thing

My opening paragraph, up there above the picture of this mother holding her newborn child might well be a little misleading in that, folks who read it may well be under the impression that this writing is about my correcting anyone at all for not being able to pronounce anyone else’s name correctly.

I get it…it would not be the first and neither the only time that people have, not out of anything other than not being able to pronounce Hawai’ian names the right way, stated or pronounced my Hawai’ian name incorrectly.

I used to get upset because I know and have always known the importance of names. Yet, these days, I tend to take it as an opportunity to teach someone a bit about my Hawai’ian culture. That I would teach them what I do is one thing, and the truth is that most folks are happy to know how to say it right because really, how foolish does one need to be in not wanting to learn to pronounce something correctly, and more, how lazy is a person for real when they state that they think it is funnier to say it the way that they CAN say it?

However, it will be through this teaching on this day that I write The Mana’o Blog that I will have much to say about, not THAT anyone would prefer to NOT learn to say ANYONE else’s name the right way, but more, the reasons …actually the excuses…as to why it is that some folks flatly REFUSE to say it right.

I would like to know when it was that anyone had the right to at least not try to state a person’s name the right way. When we fail to try is when we fail, period. When we prefer, because of something that is within us and NOT within the other person, to NOT learn something at all and we prefer to make light of our laziness.

It irks the hell out of me, in fact, that people have the attitude that it is somehow funny that THEY cannot say someone else’s name correctly…it is like they have little, if any, respect for someone else and who they are.

Respect for someone else and who they are

First off, my only thought there is that we live in a terribly belittling, terribly, terribly arrogant, egotistical world, and when we would rather save face by NOT learning to say someone else’s name the right way, it is immediately that we are showing that other person some of the worst kind of disrespect that we have bothered to make a joke out of.

This is not my saying that every person who cannot say another person’s name the right way is doing it purposely to get a rise out of them, to make the other person feel like they have been belittled in any manner, or anything at all like that to those people who bother to at least say that they can’t say it correctly is something that lots of us do. It shows people that we are vulnerable when we admit that we are not able to do something and that maybe it is not such a bad thing that we can’t.

It becomes a bad thing only when we won’t.

When we won’t think about the other person and about how what we are NOT bothering to do, we are also showing everyone around that person that we have NO respect for how another person feels about what they have been called all of their lives.

When I was a kid, I was called a lot of different nicknames, and all of them were given to me and spoken out of love. It was nothing to me that I was called “Mop” (and by at least three people am still referred to as such), and nothing to me, even now, to be called “Mapu,” (and really, in my ancestral language, “Mapu” means primate or ape…and who is really gonna argue with an ape?) or “ROX,” (hell, even I call me that), “Roxie,” and in one (and ONLY one) person’s awareness, I am simply “Pineapple,” and to lots and lots of people, hell yeah – “Mapuana,” and in the times that I have to talk to people who I don’t know and who don’t know me, of course, it is “Roxanne.”

I answer to them all.

I always have, because I know that the word, the name, itself, is always surrounded by other words (the context) which will always tell the truth of how my name(s) is being delivered and with and through what kind of energy it is being done with.

It is when the energy that is there and that is hurtful and somewhat even demeaning that people are not realizing they are doing when they refuse to say another person’s name, or at least give the effort of doing so, correctly. 

When we think that making fun of how someone else has been named is okay because that is just how we roll, and we do not think about how it might feel for us to have to deal with that same thing, that same energy, we are at that moment being a giant asshole (and…duh…creating the Karma that is NEEDED for said same such asshole to have endure that which he or she puts others through, just for the fun of it…jerks).

I say so because it has been done to me for a long time, the idea that, up until recently, when I finally decided to no longer hang with people who would cut my soul down to as minimal size as they could through the misuse of my name, all because they had little or no respect for the FACT that what they were doing to me was taking away the entirety of my identity.

The Entirety of One’s Identity

Here is where it should become apparent to anyone who has ever bullied someone else about, of all things, the name that they were given at the time of their birth – our name matters.

Our name matters so much that when we come to terms with the idea that we are apart from our birth mother, it is our name, NOT our mom, which identifies us. 

Our name identifies us.


Our name is carried with us throughout our lives, and we die as the person who was that name. We are remembered by our name, and when it is that our name is disrespected, so, too, are we. It bothers a lot of people when any part of the name they carry at this time in their lives is not said the right way. It is not an ego thing, and it is not a control thing – it is a human being thing, and it is real. I am taken back to the time in my life when I was thought as someone else’s property, when it was that my name did not matter, or worse, when my name was equated with being less than anyone else. Some folks like to believe that it doesn’t matter to another person when someone, anyone, else says someone’s name wrong. It is like calling them a name that is a derivative of their actual given birth name, and not asking them if it is cool to call them by that nickname that might or might not be something that the person being called that likes.

We are not taught about what other people like, and when we are taught respect, it is when we are kids, and it is for the most part NOT respect we are taught, at least not the real kind, but respect through fear of losing something, mostly the idea of Love that our parents and others in our lives when we are children teach us through their showing us. When I was a child, and I heard the phrase “DAMMIT MAPUANA!” I knew, through whoever it was that said it, what kind of trouble I might have been in.

It could have been that I might have blurted something out that I might have had the thought in my little head to say nothing at all, or it could have been the idea that I was taught to be or at least to pretend that I was better than others , by a group of people who, for the most part, DO NOT, even now, truly know what is respect out of love and deserving the level they expect, or, the sort that is placed by fear. Either way, it shows a whole lot to others when we are choosing to disrespect them constantly by constantly NOT learning to say someone’s name the right way.

And I maintain, still, and I will always maintain, that our given name at birth is a BIG FAT GIANT FREAKIN’ DEAL ! When we are respected by others we end up choosing to be with them because respect is Love of the highest and purest form, even when it is for others who we do not personally know.

The way that other people choose to be with others.

We are not who has the power and neither the right to make other people behave like good human beings, and it is not up to us to make them see things in terms of where we are coming from unless those other people are somehow that much of an important part of our lives.

I know which people in my life mean well when it is that they are not able to pronounce things, and I also know that no one likes to be corrected, but who really needs correcting are those who go about the crust of the planet not realizing that their not respecting, as much as they can, even if that means that they admit that they have a hard time pronouncing anything, but particularly a person’s name, and believe that it is no big deal and  that it is okay that they mar someone else like this.

To some folks what I am saying here might seem like I am making a big deal out of nothing, but the fact of the matter is that we are, each and every one of us, irritated by it when someone else not only doesn’t say our name right, but then, because they are too lazy or too arrogant to admit they have a hard time, refuses to not harm someone else through means of ignorance.

Our name is a big deal. 

In matters of the soul, our names are not a mistake.

Your name is the thing that people know you by. It is the thing that you are addressed as and is totally every part of who you are that is presented to others. We are judged by our names, whether we like it or not. I often times will tell other Hawai’ian parents that, even as it is a nice thought to want to name their children with a first Hawai’ian name, that I get it in terms of wanting to show your pride, that it is a good idea to remember, namely if they have this child here on the mainland, that not every person will be able to pronounce it.

That is about the same time that I am called a traitor, or a very damaged Hawai’ian. It is not until I tell them my reasoning for saying such a thing that they understand that our given name is a very vitally important part of who we are, even if, when we are older and for professional reasons, we use another name. What lots of people don’t realize is that famous people change their names for professional reasons, but almost ALL of them are called by their given name by the people who are closest to them.

We all have a reason for doing the things, saying the things, being the way that we have the tendency towards being. This is not my telling anyone to be a pansy ass – this is my telling people to be mindful of how we treat others, period. Place yourself in the shoes you wore when someone tried saying your name, and if it were an easy name to pronounce, butchered it on purpose. How did it make you feel and how did it make you feel about them as a human being? (Probably not that great)

Think of the last time someone knew the correct way to say your name, and how it made you feel when they flat out refused to. Think of how insignificant it made you feel the last time your boss got your name wrong. Think about every time it was that someone who you would have liked to know a little bit better did not remember your name and think about how personally wounded you were when it was that they’d laughed about it, as though somehow, not recalling the one thing that identifies you with who you are and more, who your soul tribe identifies you with was somehow not such an important thing.

Whether you want to believe so or not, our names and the use of them are indeed a soul thing.

It is a soul thing to know who you are, to live up to that measure of energy, no matter what it is that we think of anyone else or who they are. Whether you want to accept it or not, our name is something that is either music to our ears, or, when someone says it wrong, namely wrong on purpose (because you know, they’re just playing…are they really? Think about it), the worst thing to hear coming from certain others.

Think about how much any new parent to be goes through in determining exactly what name they will give their child, and then think about how much having that name will mean to a child when they hear it. Think about what certain names have given you in terms of energy, and think about how you feel when you hear the name of someone who is near and dear to you. I know that when I hear my name, any of the names that I am referred to as, and particularly one name and by one person, it is truly music to my ears.

It is the same way for any and all of us, the idea that our name is very important. When we address people who we do not know anything more about than their first name, and we do not pronounce it correctly, and we acknowledge so, it is out of respect for them, out of respect for the idea that we do not know who they are, even as our souls may well know all other souls. When our name is pronounced incorrectly is one thing, but when it is done so because someone, anyone else at all has the very nerve to disrespect us because THEY are too lazy to make the effort to at least acknowledge that it is not that our name is too difficult, but that they are too damned lazy to learn it, it is not our turn to do more than one thing…and it is the hardest thing to do…

…that one thing is simply just not give a damn. 


Why should we ever make the effort to validate someone else being less than good to a person, validate their energy that says it is okay to remain unpolished, remain … at the low level they are at? There is nothing stated anywhere, no rule, no law, that says that anyone has to say our name correctly.

There is also no law stating, no rules stating that we have to be ass hurt by their inability to try harder to raise their level of being a stand up, let alone stand alone person, if for no one else than their own sorry ass lazy selves.

Other people are not wrong for not being able to say anyone else’s name correctly. Most folks will acknowledge that they don’t think they pronounce the one thing that makes it clear to the rest of the world that “hear I am…love me or don’t…this is me and I was put here in this awareness because I am this me…” in the manner that said name is given to any one of us.

Then there are the others…you know who they are…

They are the ones pointing out one person’s toilet paper stuck to the bottom of said person’s shoes, all whist ignoring the protective toilet seat liner they’d used at the gas station and that is now, unbeknownst to them, hanging off of the back of their pants and waving at the world, letting the world know where the last place was that they’d been…

(OK…everybody…one…two…three… BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!)

teehee…I Love You All !


Think About It_ HulaStudioPhoto

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Forcing Change


The Eclipsed Libra Moon

We all know about change. We all know that a lot of us on this planet hate going through changes. The Full Moon in Libra tomorrow (4/4/2015) brings with it the balance that we all need to live. What it also brings with it is the promise of that which is no longer useful to us, is outdated, is not a good thing for us to have in terms of our own personal evolution become no longer a part of our collective experience as human beings on Earth.

That picture of the rubble is right here in sunny Southern California, in that famed and fabled place that a whole lot of movies and one song in particular has made famous – the San Fernando Valley of Southern California. That is a photograph of the afterward of the Northridge earthquake which happened in January of 1994.

At that time I was living here in P-Town, and at that time I was carrying Jeremy, my oldest who is now 21. At that time I was still convinced that I was something that I now know without a doubt that I am so, so very NOT! (I’m sorry, but I don’t do church, guys…figure it out).

At that time, I did not realize what was happening and at that time I knew, because of Jeremy, that a LOT of change was about to take place. The change that I needed mostly was the change that would have been brought with my no longer being physically abused, which did happen, but is also what made the emotional abuse that much more difficult on me.

The change that I needed the most, in fact, did not come to my brain until that baby who, at the time of the Northridge quake, was not even born into this consciousness until that same March, was 18 years old.

The changes needed came to me in 2012, which was when I chose to no longer be someone else’s victim and instead chose to become my own Survivor.  While it was not that the moon was eclipsing that night, what was eclipsing was the idea that the things that were no longer needed by me were being revealed, in the most ugly possible way that they could be.

It was not that anyone outside of me needed to change for me, but instead was that I needed to choose the change that needed to be.

At that time, and on that date, the moon was in Virgo, which is the nit-picky and cleansing energy that makes us do what we need to do in order that we can be the best at who we are. That is what Virgo is all about – organizing all of our tangibles, so that our intangible thoughts can rest.

At this time, though, we have the sun in Aries, with the moon in its opposing sign, which is Libra, the guy in the zodiac who is responsible for balancing things out, making things right, so that life can be at its balanced best. This time though, we have all this other planetary stuff going on, and it is stuff that is adding to the power of this already powerful moon and the lunar eclipse happening tomorrow…on a very numerologically powerful day, namely for someone like me, who is Hawai’ain. (4/4/2015 = the number 4 is sacred to us Maoli folks…you have two 4’s and 2+0+1+5 = 8…another two 4’s…anyway…)

All this other planetary stuff going on = all this other earthly change and shaking up of things going on…

In order to understand what I am talking about, you might want to check out Dr. Loretta Standley’s website, and look at the links which will take you to the generational and global forecasts. I am not able to do more than tell you all what it’s all about, and if you want a deeper explanation of all of this weirdness, my best suggestion is to go and look at what she has to say – she is very good at this planetary other stuff going on.

Anyhow, we have to think about the things that are going on in our personal worlds and apply that same thing to the grander world at large that we all share and all live in.

The things that are GOING TO happen will change our lives for the better, even though the things that happen could end up being of the cataclysmic sort for some of us. When I say that your foundation will be shaken, I beg you to please not freak out about it, because really, the things that are about to change are the very things that NEED to be changed because without that change, the things that we each and all desire to be in our lives cannot happen.

We cannot expect all these new things and all this new change that is upon us to happen where there is stagnancy and the opposite of growth.  It is like Einstein said a very long time ago in that, we want different results from the same things that we do and that we think will solve our problems, but we are so crazy with the idea that we can hang on to what is old and not useful, sometimes for sympathy reasons, that we have no room for what is new and needed.

And the people who are like this are the ones who bitch about it the most. This is not to say that some folks who hang on to tangibles are by any means the same folks who hang on to old hurts they way that they hold on to an old vinyl 45…it ain’t the same…I think you get what I am saying.

When I say that Libra is the sign of balance and harmony, I mean just that, but you have to also think about what else is going on in the heavens in order to see how it is that Libra is going to work through all of this change. Libra is the peace maker, but there are other guys up in the sky who are the guys who are GOING TO DEMOLISH all that which is no longer needed for all of us and in all of our lives.

Whatever is holding you back…

If you can think less about the astrology of all of this, and focus more on the human being side of this where we are all going to be affected by this, you can think in terms of things that you can no longer wear because they don’t fit, or they are tattered and worn (even though you love all of them), or have gone the way of the freecycle and now are someone else’s to love and to wear.

In that same manner, I am sure that there are parts of your life, of your personality, of you that you know need to no longer be the way that they are.

For some of us it means that we have to rethink our entire way of doing things. For others, it means that we have to rid ourselves of things that no longer serve us. For us all, though, it means that we are about to get what we have asked for, or, what we were askin’ for. For all of us, we are about to witness things happening with and to people who we would never dream those things happening to anyone, and it is all meant.

Some of us will go through a lot of material change, but for the most part, what this full moon is about to bring us to is the light out of the darkness, even if we are not ready for it.

…and if we are not ready for it…

It won’t matter. Spirit does not work in the manner that is “when I’m ready to, then I’ll do it,” by any means. I know that there are a lot of you reading this who think that you are in control of everything, but I have news for ya – you’re NOT, and that is – that thought and that energy, whether you want to believe it or not, also about to change.

Some of us have already started feeling the changes as they approach, and in like manner we have chosen to just go with the flow, because we know that to fight it only makes the pain of change that much more painful.

I suppose that I am writing this today to all of you who really want to think that you can escape the fate of change. You can’t.

You cannot continue in the moldy way you have been doing things. You cannot keep on going through your own lives bitching all the time about what you don’t like, and if you think I am kidding, then you are going to find yourself bitching through the entire process of the change game.

You do not realize that you really have no choice, because the Mother Goddess has this thing that She does that we all have to do, because if we don’t do it, we are going to end up dead- inside, first, followed by the body, because when you think in terms of “everything outside of us and in our own reality is also inside of us,” you find a better picture of the reality of your reality.

The Reality of Your Reality

It really is this simple – what you see in your reality is shaped by your perception of what you are looking at.

Say you have a mountain of work to do and the work has to do with you going through mountains of stuff that you no longer need, stuff that is kept because of an emotional attachment to it, even if the thing you think you are not attached to itself holds no emotion within it for you. The fact that you spent money on it is the emotional attachment for you.

That you are emotionally attached to things is one thing, because we are all emotionally attached to more than we care to admit to being. However, that you might not realize how it is that you are emotionally attached to things that you might not have even bothered to think about for a long time is what is going to change for us all here within but a matter of a few days to a few weeks.

A global emotional enema

More like a Universal emotional enema. This weekend’s full moon is about uprooting the weeds in our lives, and making room for new things to grow there, namely our very selves.

We cannot grow if we are not willing to hurt, and lots of people do not know real hurt because they are emotional douche bags.

I know a whole lot of people who had the energy of being awarded with the Massengil Award of Excellence more than one time and for longer than they should have been the way that they might still be. I say “might still be” because I no longer have contact with these people because they do nothing in terms of knowing what it means to give room to others to be all the good, jacked up human being that they can be.

And those people…the ones who don’t give room for jacked up people to be jacked up yet loving people…those people will be the very ones who will feel these energies the strongest, because these are the people who have the very most ego to quell, and these are the very kind of people who have, for CENTURIES, made life really crappy for people who are not just like they are.

Those who judge will be judged, and those who do bad things in secret will have light shed on their doings. Those who do only for themselves under the guise of doing for others will be found out for the creepy people who they really are, and those who I have left out and are the others on the list of Massengil Award recipients will just have to deal with being on that list.

That list, I hear, is very long.

For too long the entirety of the planet, for generations and eons and centuries, has had this very ugly energy about it and surrounding it, the sort that is exclusive, and the sort that makes it so that regular people like me and you feel sometimes like Spirit hated us enough to make us have to work for our living rather than having it inherited to us. And if we are due for an inheritance, the things that hurt and the things that seem like they are taking forever at this time are happening because the Mother Goddess is trying to make you understand how you should NOT be.

It is not okay to show off, and the Mother Goddess and the current planetary energies are making sure that you understand this. You don’t need that much attention, namely if you are not that cool, and namely if you think that you must be worshiped in order for you to be any sort of good human being.

Good human beings do not need other human beings to worship us. Good human beings know already that our reward is not in the tangible things, even though sometimes that is exactly how those very rewards will show up.

I suppose that what I am writing about today is not meant for those of us who consider ourselves jacked up yet loving human beings.

I suppose that I am writing for the benefit of the Massengil Achievement Award recipients, the ones who like to show off and put their own perceived greatness in the faces of others.

I suppose that I am writing to warn all of the “better than you because I said so” types that they are about to find out that no, you are not, and you are about to find that out in likely the harshest ways that the collective of you can recall.

I suppose, really, that I am telling all of us that the harshness of change is meant to be, and that this time that change is on the globally felt scale.

It wise to retrofit your ego before you end up like that building in the picture

I Love You All !



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