What you cannot see, know, or hear : Some Words About Your Currently Tumultuous Life

paramex_end_the_pain

We who inhabit Planet Earth, at this time, are finding out that life, at this present moment, is quite tumultuous. Here are some words to explain what you are going through lately.

Tumult.

According to Websterʻs Dictionary, it means “a state of commotion, excitement, or violent disturbance.” 

Right now, and I can state this as being the truth and also as being the common thing among human beings on the planet – life, right this moment, for a lot of us, feels very harsh. Lots of us cannot figure out what it is that we did so wrong that would cause all of these things to happen in our lives. Many of us are experiencing changes that we never thought would be part of our awareness and neither that which we call “daily life.”

This is not something that I care to much trifle with outside of the idea that this is being written with the idea in mind that no one knows, really, what is going on in the minds of others, let alone the lives of others, but, here we are, none the less, surviving this crap everyday.

But we want to live, donʻt we??

Yes.

Of course, and this will strike a few of my regular readers a bit…oddly..but, this turmoil we each are experiencing is living, or, at least is building it to be that thing that we call “living well.”

Reread that if you must, if for nothing more than to simply have a shot at wrapping your head around the idea that you are here, in this body and on this plane for a specific purpose. That specific purpose is tied directly and intimately to the turmoil that you are going through right now. The turmoil, even as much as it hurts and sucks, is meant to polish the each of us so as to ready us for the thing that we were meant to do in this lifetime whilst traipsing the planet as humans. You do not have to believe me but, from the research that I, myself, am constantly conducting in the realm of human thought as it pertains to Spirit and ethereal “stuff,” the only thing that I can see and sense, with all of this…huge change..happening, is that we are being primed for the reality that we are creating through this crap.

The reality that we are creating through all the crap

Letʻs play with a few thoughts here, shall we?

Letʻs pretend that you have this dream life that you have seen in your thoughts for years and years, and that you could only see the end result of what you want to happen.

Now letʻs pretend that for a very long while of your being in your body and things being lovely for years and years and then one day the shit begins to hit the fan. Suddenly those things that were there and common and everyday in your own life are no longer there, no longer common and no longer everyday things that happen. In fact, some of those things that are happening you are not able to figure out how, and more – why – with everything that you have done in your life for other people – how could things be as shitty as they have been for the last….I donʻt know…on the whole – say…five years, in the collective sense.

Understand that within that five years is also contained the fact that there have been people who have been going through things for, on average, two years, before they finally begin to have the strength to at least look at what is possible in all of the chaos. Understand, too, that if you are not aware of your own evolution, and not at least savvy to the idea that everything, including you , evolves, then you really need to pay attention LOTS more. In fact, there are a lot of us who are, right now, unable to understand why it is that the things that you are going through are so very painful. That is because you were given this opportunity to make things right, in terms of realigning your soul with your purpose, and in doing so, all of the lessons that you either ignored in the past, or, perhaps the ones that you are meant to learn in the future – all those things are coming in to your life so that you can prepare for the next level of living.

As much as that does not make sense – that we have to go through some shit just so that we donʻt have to offer ourselves up to the gods and goddesses of bullshit (theyʻre actually called “lessons”) – when it is explained in a more detailed way and even though some of us cannot see past the thing that we are going through, many more of us, even as we, at first, may be confused by this – think in terms of things “coming out in the wash,” or perhaps like a child who has outgrown his or her favorite clothes. While we know that we loved those things and those ways of being, we also know that at this very moment in time, in comparison to who we each were just those short five years ago….we each have grown in the soul, enough to have to experience some discomfort in our lives, sometimes to the point of what we call “insanity.”

Yet, when we think about it, life, itself, is a maddening thing. It is not a game, even as it feels like it is, from time to time and more now lately than in the past – it is a challenge.

We were not ever made to think any other way than that.

Sure, some of us humanoids have it kinda easier than it appears the rest of us do, but that means that they either have not yet begun to go through what I can only call their “upward spiral that must first start downward,” or, they are already done going through it. You will recognize these people almost immediately once it is that you have read through this writing more than only one time. You can sense their calm, even though you can also sense their erratic inner lives. You can see the pain on their faces, as much as you can also see the sense that everything is going to be okay – we just have to brace ourselves a little bit longer and by the time all these turmoils have been seen to and dealt with, we will not realize that the reason for the turmoil was to actually help us get to being who we truly are.

If all this sounds like nonsense, ask yourself if you have ever been in the situations that you are finding yourself in these days, and ask yourself if you are more aware now (you might call it guardedness) and ask yourself if truly, even though back there was lots easier, would you be able to look back there, given that ease, and through recalling what it was that was your turmoil then, and the very turmoil that spawned this current energy of it – given all of the people who you have met and who have, even for a split second, changed your thought about any one thing at all, and now you are far wiser because of that – would you be able to trade all of the wisdom that you have created for yourself, all of the people who are now nearer and dearer to you than lots of others who pretended to be there for you in the past….would you be able to say goodbye to them, knowing that you are just outside of comfort, and that the only thing left is to see things in two ways: a physical reality, as well as a spiritual knowing?

Yeah…me, neither.

I could not, would not, cannot even dream to be who I was five years ago. I cannot be that scared person again, too afraid to fail better than I have in the past. I cannot be that woman who took orders from other people just to keep herself safe and what little of her sanity was left, in full tact. I cannot be that person again, because that person does not fit into my life right now. That person was too emotionally attached in a very bad way to a bad person who only recently was I able to make it known to him that for years, he made it so that I was the one who would take the fall for every sin he committed against me, personally, in the form of domestic abuse.

I cannot be that person again, because that person is not the one with the higher sense of integrity, and that person is not able to see beyond the tangible to the spiritual reason as to why that person did not survive the change which spawned the growth and produced this me.

That Person in Your life…

The one thing that no one tells us about, when we are younger and when we are learning to be our highest best selves is that there are three ways of becoming wise:

1 – Hard Knocks (and they will continue to happen til we learn from them)

2 – We gain insight (but this is after we have gone through a series of harsh stuff)

3 – It comes naturally, because we chose, all at one time, to do both 1 and 2

Further, the other thing that I have become aware of is that there are three ways that we are given this wisdom, and of the three, only one of them truly helps us evolve:

1 – We are taught how to pay attention

2 – We are told how to pay attention

3 – We learn to pay attention

Paying attention….it is a learned thing, really

The one thing that I have noticed over the years is that when someone else is successful at doing something, they believe that we are all going to be as successful at that very same thing. This is not the truth. We learn differently, meaning that when we perform what it was that we learned how to do, we are not going to do it in any other manner than the way which we learned how to. Recently I had a conversation with someone who I thought we were way closer than I found out that we were. If it is that that person wants to not talk to me anymore, that is fine – that is her choice to make.

However, what I got from that conversation, and a conversation that has stayed with me since it happened, was that the truth of humanity is that we expect what we do and what is successful for us to work for everyone. This, again, is not the truth. When it was presented to me in the manner that it was, which was to question my motives and not bother with the methods that my condition will currently allow, I began to, at first, argue back. Then within a very few short moments, instead of lambasting that person, I chose to question them. This is likely the reason that she and I are not talking – because one of us is still trying to rectify what the other said and that was the truth. I am not stating that what that other person said was a lie. What I am stating is that the way that she learned, which was very abusive on the part of the people who were teaching her how to be herself (and up until lately, did a very poor job at it) is not the same way that I learned what was going on at those times in our lives when we were, at the same time, presented with things that our own minds, at the young ages that we were, could not wrap themselves around.

Let it be well known, right this moment, that what is perceived in some cultures as being discipline is often times abusive in another one. When it is that the perception of that discipline is understood by the person who it was enacted upon, no matter how long ago it was done to them, that personʻs perception, unless and until they have something that counters that memory – that person is ALWAYS going to go back to the last good thing in their head that worked.

I donʻt know about anyone else, but, the last thing that anyone “formerly abused” needs to do is believe that they are going to be able to understand how one personʻs method of healing is self-taught, and anotherʻs, taught by someone else and namely through violent means.

Where we go wrong as humans is believing, again, that the way that we did something is going to be the same way that other people do things and that those things and methods and ways of being and doing work for everyone and the truth is that they might not work at all and in some cases, like my own, may make things much worse. To expect someone else to do things any way but their own is not only wrong, but it has the capacity to wreck them further.

The other problem with this is that we live in a world where people are already fake enough, already trying to pass off on others the idea that what we are doing is the best model and method, because what we did and worked for us…we assume will work for all others, as well and just as well as it did for us. What we do not think about is that we are each and all different, and what may work for one of us will not, no matter how much we try to make those things work – do anything for us, at all. It will cause us more frustration, and will cause us not only to question what we are doing, but also who we are for real.

Who we are for real is not dependent upon what other people tell us. Who we are rests neatly and squarely on our own shoulders. Yet, sometimes, and with certain people, that message falls upon deaf ears, because yeah – no one wants to think about their successes not being the thing that can be the downfall of anyone else. You cannot expect that others will have the same results that you did. The other thing that makes me really wonder why it is that people will talk to life coaches and then when it comes to the point where the things that the coach taught them is not being retained, that client blames the coach.

The reason that I believe those things fail is not about the coach, and has everything to do with how we each and all respond to negative energy.

Negative energy is that thing we all try to avoid, but in that avoidance we are robbing ourselves of the ability to get through things that inevitably happen to all human beings, no matter what. We are here to learn, not only to be taught, and we are here to tell our story, not only be told what it is by witness of other people. We each and all are very different from one another. The expectation that we are, on our own, going to be able to handle what comes our way and using someone elseʻs methods rather than realizing that they are telling us that they have gone through the same thing for the simple purpose of allowing us to know that by our own witness account, things do get better.

We just have to remain open in the awareness that is currently ours and respond, rather than react to it all. The only one way to do that is to learn from the past, the same things that are presented to us each and all now, and remember that we are the ones who are meant to shine through that turmoil, the ones who are meant to stop the tumult by our own creative nature and through knowing, rather than only believing in our own selves, that what we are experiencing and also witnessing is our lives unfolding before our eyes.

Do not be too sure that this…turmoil…is here forever, because it is not. It is here long enough for us each and all to learn how to deal with it so that we can get through it, not only this time, but every time that happens in the future. Forget about all the well-meaning words of advice and think for yourself, using those words of advice only as a reference to your own self-taught and learned manners and ways of being. Do not bother with the things that worked for anyone else UNLESS you are talking about things in the tangible world that are here and already exist and need the human touch to be repaired instead of the ethereal touch that allows us to heal.

We are souls contained in bodies. We are meant to be here, learn who we are, become who our purpose and mission needs us to be. We do not know what our place is until we have gone through some shit. Right now, we are going through shit on the collective level, telling me that there is a lot of stuff that people have hung on to for whatever purpose it was that they chose to. That is no oneʻs judgment to make on them. We all handle our shit our own way, once we understand that it is the only way that is going to work for us at the personal and singular level.

Much of the self-work going on at this time in our lives is meant to take place, at the level of being that it is taking place, and all because we are being readied for our next level of living and life, which is all and only good, based on the level of crap that we have, as a collective whole, had to endure over this last decade.

Just remember that you are not perfect, that your way is the only way that is going to work for you, specifically, and that trying to make everyone else happy is never going to happen because we cannot keep the entire world happy so long as there are lessons to learn by every single one of us on this planet. So, since it is that this lifetime and every lifetime can be thought of as a school for learning, always assume that you are learning something about you, about your purpose, about who it is that you are meant to teach, to learn from, and to help heal themselves as well as you are doing for you, right in this tumultuous moment and every other one, as well….

Ask yourself, the next time you have the thought in your head the reason why it is that we seem to continue doing the maddening thing of repeating our actions in hopes that those actions will take away the lesson that we are here to learn? What is it in that particular set of actions caused by a particular set of thoughts that any one of us will continue to think is the truth that has not changed, even though we know that with all else that has changed, this, whatever this would be, is also subject to change and the likelihood that it has already changed and you are not yet seeing that it has?

What, my friends, is it that you are learning right this moment that is able to help you understand your own personal turmoil?

Turmoil is the hint.

Life is the teacher….and the lessons learned are ours to share with the world, once it is that we have become, ourselves, the teacher as well as the student.

Aloha Mai E

#LosAngelesKahunaRox22

#TheCrabAndTheFish22


A Higher Calling …What’s Yours?

triple goddess blue and purple

Do you know the reason why you are going through everything that you are going through right now?

The truth will, or maybe will not, surprise you.

The truth is that at some point in your life, you asked, from the middle of your soul, for things to be different for you, and you might have even believed that you were deserved of better things. You might have watched something called The Secret and after watching it, you might even have gone out and tried out what you saw and perhaps even manifested something for yourself.

The truth is that what you are going through, and the idea that it is in your life, is NOT something only that you have manifested into being, but, is also a lesson that you have called into being and that lesson is connected to what you do and what you do in this lifetime is connected to who you are and your mission and purpose in this lifetime. I say it a whole lot, specifically to those who I coach through my Awareness training – all of everything that we go through, specifically if it harms us and makes us hurt in the soul and is something that seems to have been part of who we are from the time that we were kids…that is what your Divine Purpose is…your Divine Purpose Is your Higher Calling.

What Is Your Higher Calling?

The way that I figured out was my Higher Calling was to step back from my own life and see what the running theme of every lesson that I have learned to this point, and mainly the lessons that hurt me, very dearly, and the ones that somehow I end up using as an example in my work in this world.  Case in point – when I thought about who I wanted to coach, after some thought and time, I figured out that it is not the “how” that we are going to get something done, but rather and only why.

You will not know what is your calling just by the simple means by which you have chosen to do things in the past. You will get there better by figuring out why you want to pursue what it is that you cannot get out of your head. Whatever it is that you are thinking about, even if it is your current job and you have come up with things that you would like to implement in terms of what you do in your duties….that is you answering the Higher Calling of what your purpose is. 

Your purpose in connected to the thing that you have to go through, and by “go through” I mean the things that you have had to deal with and that hurt your soul. 

As much as I hated going through everything that I have gone through over the course of my life, and as much as I can understand why it is that some folks – even those closest to me – do not realize the reason why I do not do things in the manner which the rest of the world does – I went through those things, unbeknownst to me, because I had to. 

Yes…had to

In fact, when we all can’t find a way out of the things that we feel like we have to go through, it is because we have to go through them in order to level up to the thing that we want to happen for us, or, at least will get us that much closer to that thing. We have to get through things that suck because that is what is required of us to rise up to where we need to be. Where we need to be is up to us, which is the most confusing thing to us all if it is that we have been taught that the only way that we can get what we want is to beg your mom’s big scary god guy for it…I know all about that one and how it is that it does more damage than much else.

triple goddess hula

…and really, the way that we know that we are “leveling up” is because we will, at those times, look out into the nothing, or up into the sky through the ceiling, and ask the question, through tears or through the proverbial gnashing of teeth….a one word query:

“WHY????”

It is because I know that the reasons that I have for doing anything at all is not connected to how I intend to make those things happen, but rather and only why they need to happen in my life. Once it is that we are very clear on the reason why we want something in our lives, the how just happens. Bear in mind that the “how” does not happen to us -but is already in place. The how is connected to how we technically and tangibly make things come into our being. So, when I state that we need to know why we want something, someone, somewhere …anything….at all..in our lives…the best, fastest way to get those things there is to know why  we are passionate about that one thing.

Knowing how to do anything is “of the body,” and in order to create anything, we have to know why we are so passionate about anything. I am very passionate, not only about people becoming healed and whole again, but, very dearly passionate about what I do in terms of revealing the Truths of our own inner selves, lives and worlds and that is only and all about who we are in relation to our Purpose….also and better known as A Higher Calling.

A Higher Calling

We are not born knowing what our purpose is.

Believe it. It is the truth.

Not one of us knows what our purpose is. We have to sort of figure it out on our own. There is nothing that someone who can be considered a “guru” can charge enough to make it so that you do not have to go through what you have to go through. Adding to that, there are a lot of “gurus” on this planet who want to make us believe that we do not know what our purpose is and that we will not know what it is until our life is passing before our eyes in the minutes prior to our crossing over. (Been there. Done that. I survived it…and at that point in my life, I thought I knew what my purpose was and was arrogant about it…please keep reading…)

Our purpose and finding it out is NOT something that is meant for us to guess til we leave our bodies. Our purpose is embedded in the things that we go through, the things that we got through, the things that we will still go through. At every juncture in our lives, and at every turn that brings us to a place that feels like harm (and typically is), those are the times that we are being made better, stronger, tougher, clearer, higher purposed..with each and every heart ache.

We go through everything we do so that we can go out into this world and let the world have our words in terms of how we survive the things that we do. Some of us begin early in life, with major losses, and many of us continue to go through things from the time that we are children. I was one of those children. I was not allowed to do a whole lot of things, was not allowed, for the most part, to have what is known as an original thought.

This is the reality that a whole lot of us go through – the idea that we think thoughts that are ours and original, but, as children, our parents censor us …and it is not their fault that they are doing this – they are being parents.

I get it.

I am certain that all of us who are called “mom” or “dad” gets it.

It is at the times in our lives when we hurt the most is when we are supposed to pay the most attention, but we don’t, and we don’t because at those times we are very dearly in an energy of heightened emotional stuff. The emotionality of things is where the gold is in all of our lessons, but we do not know this. We are taught, instead, that we are supposed to express our emotions, and we do. What we are not taught is what to do with those things that we have learned from those times that hurt us the very most – we are not taught why we go through things that hurt so bad.

I can only speak for myself when I state that the way that I have chosen to utilize the pain and every horrid thing that I have experienced is simply to research it, study it, link it to neuro-cognition, learn to use it to teach others how to learn what is their purpose and more, to create the way that the world will benefit from the goodness borne of the things that have shattered us in a gazillion tiny, cutting pieces.

Think of it in terms of this – it is at the very lowest times in our lives that we are being made perfect in our imperfections, and in those imperfections are created the future. The times in our lives that hurt us, that spot weld the things that we learn from and the people who we learn them from in our heads, hearts, souls and memories – even though those times and those things sucked – they taught us.

They taught us in the most hurtful ways, and they taught us in the way that only we would be able to learn – from our own lives. They taught us who we were not by giving us constant reminders of the things that hurt us, things that are not who we are and not what we are about and those things are thrown in our faces, everyday, day after day, until we end up figuring out that all along, what we were asking for was there for us, but was not obvious and neither was it made that way – obvious.

The Harm that Refines

Yeah….

You read that correctly – the harm that refines us.  It is like firing metal to make it a blade and like sandblasting the crud that collects around tiled inner perimeter of a pool caused by an owner just not paying attention to the crud, and when the crud is gone, there in its place is the restored manner which those surfaces are supposed to be, and they are the same surfaces – and sometimes they are made better.

Thinking in these terms we can also see that when we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, even including the things that made us suffer through all of these things that we go through. We can see that in these times in our lives, we somehow, through it all, made it fine and made it out alive. And that realization is also part of all of these things, because that realization is meant to give us guidance in terms of who we are and who we are, as we each and all ought to know, is connected to our very Divine Purpose.

We are all here for a purpose that is Divine and is created by us long before we are imparted into this lifetime. Our purpose is the thing that makes our soul sing, and makes our lives feel like even though they might be difficult, they are worth the everyday push towards our highest best selves, our higher calling…

What are you dealing with right now in your life? What are you doing everyday to make it at least feel a little less scathing?

What have you determined is your Higher Calling?

What, my friends, is your Higher Purpose?

Think about it…

#LosAngelesKahunaRox22

#TheCrabAndTheFish22

.@LAKahunaRox22

 


Shifting Paradigms

Map of brain.jpg

Change (typically) occurs in the paradigm of things.

PARADIGM : late 15th century: via late Latin from Greek paradeigma, from paradeiknunai ‘show side by side,’ – ‘beside’ + deiknunai ‘to show.’

“To show side by side”…when we think about this definition, or at least when I think about it and the way that part of the dictionary’s definition of the word is that it is meant to show us the patterns we live in, I get happy, but, then in remembering that it is up to a person and their own free will to make that choice – to see the paradigm shift…or not?

That really is the question, namely when we are talking about us human type beings creating a life that we Love and that those who we Love the very most can also be part and party to. If we think in terms of the patterns of our lives and we can see the pattern without the people who are (or were) representative parts of who we are in manifest (be those things either good or bad – either way it is a hint as to where we each and all are in terms of our soul’s growth…please, keep reading…), we can see, too, where it is that our patterns are showing us and have always shown us a whole lot about ourselves, our lives and where it is that our most challenging times are and indeed, where history, and according to our natal charts, will be (and yes, I CAN read and interpret your natal chart in terms of personality and how to deal with yours and that of others…hit me up.)

When we are feeling like we are inside of an energy that we do not want more of, we have to remember, too, that we can change that thought, which will ultimately change the feeling and the energies that we are surrounded by at all times. The thing that we are not ever bothering with is that we are constantly seeing ourselves as being apart from things, when really, we are the very middle core of things when they happen in our lives. When we think that we have no power and that we are weak and never to be strong again, we are not aware that we are being taught, not aware that we are being shown, through who we are supposed to be trusting the very most – ourselves. And not only that – when we realize just exactly how much power we truly do have, it is like we have awaken from a very perilous, very …tiring…nightmare of belief that has been in place for far too long, as is.

The sad part is that for the bulk of our lives, we have been manipulated to believe that on our own, we are not strong enough to change things (even though these same people who tell us that we are not strong enough to change things are the very ones who typically NOT who willingly will help….they’ll dispense advice that they, themselves, would not ever take…and then get offended when those in despair do not take their advice). We believe ourselves to be the actual situation, rather than just the most significant part of the whole. When we are “in our energies” we are the strongest that we are going to be, ever. When we are focused on things that make us feel better and be happy, we are in the best place, emotionally, to be able to at least start our own healing process.

But, the trick is that we have to remember to not be so stuck “in” the ugliness that we cannot ever believe that that which has been given as a lesson is also that which is something that, once it is learned, we will never have to deal with in the same way that we do right now in this moment. 

And “in” is a strange little word, too, when it is thought about in terms of the word intuition, according to Dr. Loretta Standley, and my thought about her definition regarding our intuitive selves.

Since we are naturally intuitive, about everything, then it makes sense to this particular geek girl that it is less the shift in consciousness that makes things grievous than it is that our human propensity towards growing too comfortable and complacent in the boundaries of our lives and boundaries that we have grown to think of as being permanent, as being the only pattern in our lives, and most of all, a pattern that, if we paid good attention to throughout our lives, we would see where, in our lives and the boundaries we create for ourselves within them, where there is and has been a shift in the paradigm of things.

This includes every part of it…the very all of our “things”on the personal, spiritual and emotional levels – we are not aware of the patterns in our lives, and when it comes to a place in life where we feel like we are failing in every part of it, and when our efforts towards rebuilding those parts of our lives feels like all we are doing is building things up so the ether through others can tear it all apart, are the very times in our lives when we have to consider that something else is happening.

That something else is happening is not a bad thing….at all….and the moment that we can address this…”something else” and see it as a tool towards the re-creation of our own lives, beginning with our own Selves being the beautiful wreck of a human being made whole, even as said same human can only see themselves as this wreck. What we have been taught our whole lives long is that “being a wreck” is somehow a bad thing, when really, being that same wreck is a tool in our box of things to create the future.

Yes…create….

What? Did you believe that POOF! In seven days some dude wearing a robe and having a bearded face and calling himself ‘god’ was the creator of everything on this planet?

Ummm…yeah….not in this minister’s grimoire…please, keep reading…

We have to consider that maybe it is not that Spirit hates us, but instead is that Spirit knows, as She always knows, that we are no longer needful of the things, the situations, the everything that applied to those times in our lives when it seemed that everything was gorgeous, that we used to do even though the skills we used to make us all that we made ourselves to be, at those times in our lives, is that same thing now that is going on in this shared awareness of ours.

When it feels like things are out of our control, the thing that we are not doing, as I have found out personally through my own attempts at making things right in accordance to what they used to be like for me just about…oh…say ten years ago now….are not the things that we need to re-create the past. The past cannot survive the future, because the past cannot rebuild itself, even as we can replicate it – it is not the same, because you, yourself, are not the same, and the things that applied then are not the same things that apply now- think about it. The past was nice and was a lesson, at least for me, and I learned well enough to know that my own insecurities are those things that even as I feed them wrong at times, in the time that has passed since 2006, and with the person who I have grown to become at this point in my life, I find that who I was would not fit into who or where I am at this time in my life.

And my proof is the people who are most prominent in my life…my David (Muah! I Love You…you make me shine), my Jeremy, Gracie and Joshua (my kiddos…I Love You Guys…you make me proud)…my Spirit Sisters (hey guys…my life would be dull without you ladies…I Love You) (And folks, there …those three entities – this is an example of practicing gratitude….yup…that simple)

Please…keep reading…

Ten Years Ago….

Ten years ago it was April, 2006. I lived in the high desert. I had lots of money but it was not money that I’d worked for – it was money that my kids’ dad inherited.

Looking back now, even while that large chunk of change made things feel easier, and even thought, at that time, I had the best hula studio in the high desert and was making a decent amount of money, I see now the thing that that particular time in my life taught me.

I had friends, and I had a business, and I was in college then, too. My knee was not injured as much (and neither for the same reason) as age and my being clumsy over time has caused it to be. My kids were not too exposed to the thing that I had been in terms of the elders in their lives (OTHER than their father) and I still got along with the majority of my extended family.

Fast forward to now, and none of those things are even a thought unless I bring them up. If I bring them up, it is a trigger for me and causes me to have to live in the moment that has passed, and from my own experience – it does us no good at all to live in the past, to continually bring up in our minds what may well have seemed easier, but, the other ease is that ten years ago, we were not as …refined…in our thinking, even if that refinement does not come across in our daily lives – we have become lots more savvy about the things that we see going on in our lives.

Yet…

We don’t see that this shift in the collective paradigm is what is happening right now, and for the life of a lot of us, we are not looking at the bigger, global and Universal picture of things.

We are not looking at the fact that when our consciousness shifts, singularly as well as collectively, we are ignoring the things that are going on…things involved in the process of change….and we are calling them what we would in accordance to the level of comfort and clarity that we have in that moment. If we are looking through the eyes of the soul at the thing in front of us and calling it a mess is one thing, but if we are looking at it all and only calling it a mess, we are not also seeing the thing that it also is, which is the evidence needed to show us where we have been, why we have been relevant at certain times in our lives, and why, right now, it might feel like we are anything BUT relevant in our own lives and minds.

Relevance is totally NOT up to the world to decide, because I have learned over time that we are who creates us as being awesome or other than awesome, and what it is that we have built up all around us is NOT the thing that we should be looking at and really – getting the things that we need in order to do our lives on the daily basis is also NOT what we are supposed to be looking at, because that, alone, will never ever give us the instance of what has wrecked up our lives in the emotional sense as much as we can ourselves.

In an example, for the longest time ever, I felt like what was said of me by anyone, good or bad, was the truth, and it well may have been the truth but it was not ever MY truth.

Such as…

It is not my Truth that I am evil,just ’cause someone else’s opinion is that – in fact, I am a very good human being and an awesome Soulful chick

It is not my Truth that I am bad, just because someone else did not agree with my methods of doing things – in fact, where I am concerned and where the thing that I do for the people who I love the most, I know that I am doing the right things and in the right way.

It is not my Truth that I am a hurtful person, just because someone else wants to believe that this is what I would do to anyone at all – in fact, it is not my way to purposely hurt anyone else

When we choose to believe what others say of us, versus what it is that we know is our own Truth, we end up hurting because someone else made it that way. When we choose to at least be neutral and choose to give ourselves a better chance at healing through knowing and even creating new truths to define who we are, and when we choose to STOP listening to other peoples’ truths and STOP making them ours, just because someone else said so, it is not up to us to make them change their minds about us unless we know for SURE that what is going on is something far more sinister, such as trying to defame and slander anyone else at all.

This does not mean that the good truth about us as is offered by anyone else is not the truth – you have to be able to really discern that about you, have to really stop your thoughts, get in front of them and ask questions of you – I spent the last ten years asking myself if I had done things that warranted my being abused, and my answers were all the same.

And my answers always gave me my proof.

Not only was I very nice to everyone, not only was I able to share with others those things and ways of being that would tell anyone at all that I really DO operate from a place of integrity, but always, I gave more than I had to, because that’s just how I roll. Throughout my lifetime, I have managed to create my own manner by which I can solve and issue and then check my own results against the ongoing recording in my head that is my own voice repeating all these untruths about me to me and that were delivered by someone else who was, themselves, at that time, likely in a whole lot of pain themselves.

In algebra, this is called “solve and check” and typically, I do not like mathematics but when it comes to explaining things in this manner, I have only that to tell you all…that in order to solve what it was that was the expression of someone else’s beliefs, we have to check ourselves before allowing the words and believed truths of others to further damage and wreck ourselves.

And in all of this…awareness training and awareness shifting….the one thing that we are not even bothering to think about is that in the middle of all of this is the answer, and that we do not realize that we are the answer. This answer part of us comes the day that we choose to replace everyone else’s bullshit with our own beautiful truths about who we are, what we are, and all that we have been and ever will be. This is not left up to anyone else at all.

This is our part – the creation of the new self from the rubble we perceive as our lives, and how dare ANYONE try to take this massive opportunity at creation away from us?

Why on earth would anyone at all want to believe that anyone else who claims to love us unconditionally would also want us to hurt by means of their measure of “help”?

The better question is to ask our own selves why we are willing to believe the shitty things that other people tell us we are according to them, when what we know as the beauty that we are is the actual Truth of us, because we are who created it?

Why is it that we give away who we are, empower other people to make us believe that it is they – not we – who matter the most in the re-creating of our lives?

When we allow the voices of the uglinesses of the past to dictate the way that we feel about ourselves, and we know that way back there is never going to change and know that we had a great time back there from time to time, what we cannot do is relive that, and if we did and we ended up reliving something like that, it is my own request as the healer that I am that we each and all wanna go back there, knowing that all of the things that we learned from that time until now….those things cannot be unhad, and those things cannot be anything other than the lesson brought by the pain.

I cannot change having been abused, but I can change how I feel about what I went through and telling myself the truth and knowing that none of the abuses that I was made to believe I deserved, by anyone at all, including the adults in my life when I was a child were my cause….while it won’t change the past for me, and while it is that that  memory will always be there, I have learned, on my own, that the things that I went through then were the things that, to this point, made me who I am. While having this very good memory sometimes makes me really, really sad, what it does for me (as it ought to) is also reminds me of who I am, of who I have always been, and that person is not a bad, ugly, evil soul, by any means.

Your own organic Truth about You is a fucking beautiful thing

I promise you, guys…it is so not what you have taught your brain to think and your mind to believe. It is much better than this …shit…going on right now.

I promise ….

I promise you, as much as I promise anyone at all, and even as though I promise that “I could be wrong, but, I don’t feel like I am…” and “this ain’t gonna be easy, and it ain’t gonna be kind,” but I know, after having gone through and endured a lifetime’s worth of harm brought to me by others, and in this time of my life, I KNOW when it is that I, for my own health, safety, and sense of Being…I am VERY WELL AWARE and able to bail out, at least these days, that is, long and far before I have to figure out a way to heal myself, yet again, because I chose to trust ANYONE ELSE at all and chose, instead, to go with the feeling that I have and the ….soul within me…because neither lies to me.

And yeah…this is totally the way, for about three months now, that I have chosen to do this….being a Crafty woman stuff…for myself -to go with the gut feeling, then to question it by comparing it to the rest of everything that has ever been done or said or felt or emoted…indeed, I have created my own way of learning what I must in the moment. It is a learned skill, as all are – to be able to discern the Truth of me, as set forth by others, and every time, my gut, my feelings, my emotional self tells me the Truth of things, not only about myself, but, the others involved.

Seriously….once you have finished reading this, you will have a better understanding of what, exactly, is going on in the cosmos, and perhaps to that end, you will see this strife as being the tools needed, for some, to repair what is the damage done to their memories and the things and people who they love the most, and for others, it will become somewhat of the outline they will be able to follow so as to rebuild the company they each and all call “Myself.”

For us all, it will give us the truth of things as they are, will give us a starting point from which to create the beautiful future that we see, and the future that we see that is created with others…

And yeah….all we really have to do, to begin this process of being more aware of our own selves, our own motives, our own lives….is Believe in what it is that we so dearly want in our lives. 

Seriously….just do like Cher says and BE-lieve!

#LosAngelesKahunaRox

#TheCrabAndTheFish22

.@LAKahunaRox22


REVOLUTION (NOT Revelations-Yeesh!)

SOVEREIGNTY

As history repeats itself, we must stand in our collective power, and never allow the fear brought by the harm from the past become the thing that rules us.

“You say you want a revolution, well, you know, we all wanna change the World…”

(The Beatles’ Revolution)

You who read this blog regularly had to have known that this one was coming. No matter how fearful many of us are, the truth of the matter is that we now have this moment in time, in history, that all of us were and are a part of. No matter how much we might not like what has happened, and no matter how dearly afraid any one of us is, the bottom line is that a lot of us are refusing to be afraid.

We are choosing, instead, to be brave, to rise up and to become part of what so clearly this now is – A Revolution, and to hell with the book of Revelations, because what no one who listens to that rhetoric is thinking about is that this is our do-over, this is our chance, and our time, to stand up, make a noise, “Metal Horns Up” for all of the rest of us who have come to that point in our very lives that the only thing that we really want is to get along with each other. And if no one else wants that, then to hell with them – we don’t need them anyway.

Fear of the Unknown

This is a huge thing right now, but, what we do not know, we cannot fear, and what we are not thinking about is that we have this collective energy, right at this moment, where it feels like every tiny little thing that we say or do or want to say or want to do has some sort of lasting impact, if on anyone at all, our very weary and singular selves.

We have been made to be afraid, to not want to protect that which is our own. This time, right in this moment, yes – beginning today – is that magical moment in time when you come to realize that what weirdos like me have been saying for quite some time now has been the truth: One day, it was going to happen – we were going to get what was coming to us, in terms of using our most important tool of all – our voices. 

It was not about the things that are going on in this world, right this moment, and as I write this. It was not about what everyone else was and is doing right now, was not ever about anything more than showing the very all of us that we have got a LOT of work to do, have a lot of thinking those thoughts of “if I could do just one thing, could perform one damned miracle, what would it be?”

And have we not, at this point in history, up to this point – have we not all and already had the enough of what we are told we are going to do, enough of what we ought to think, enough of who is in charge of who, enough of all of this bullshit that keeps other, unworthy people, in charge of what it is that we are, by our right as human beings and the idea that we are all born into this lifetime with certain, unalienable rights – they are called human rights. No one wants, it seems, for other humans who are not just like they are to get ahead. The reason that this is is because if someone else gets ahead, it means that we are, somehow, lacking and lesser than others.

The time for this thinking is over with. It was done with because there still are, on this planet, people with a superiority complex, which is partnered with their own inner and seething inferiority complex, and the one that has caused multitudes of humans, all over the world, to stop and think about the truth of right this moment.

“You tell me that it’s evolution, well, you know…we all want to change the world…but when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out?”

The way that we have been taught, for generations, is the way that we get what is needed in our lives and for the collective, is to bully, to control, to take and to steal, and then, blame those who were robbed for being too weak to defend themselves. This is wrong, guys. This is wrong on so many levels and we have been living in this decrepit energy for far too long now…say, since the 1700’s (had to throw it in there). Like John Lennon and Paul McCartney both state in this song that is so appropriate, right this moment, for the things going on in our world.

Too many want to destroy, when what is the truth is that we have already been destroyed, a million and one times, over and over again, and to help fix ourselves, a lot of people think we have to destroy others, because those unenlightened fools seem to have it in their heads that we need to be destroyers when really, it is time to do that 8th house thing, after all of this destruction, and REBUILD.

11_revolution

Don’t you know seriously, that it’s gonna  be alright?

It will be -watch, because it is no longer this back and forth with people who would not bother to see the human element in all of this – only the ideas of being a winner or having the opportunity to call other people losers. The only loser in this time in history is the same damned one from all those generations ago – IGNORANCE.

“You say you’ve got a real solution, well, you know, we’d all love to see the plan. You ask me for a contribution, well, you know, we’re doing what we can…but if you want money for people with minds that hate, all I can tell you brother is that you have to wait…”

Or actually, don’t bother waiting, or hating, but for sure keep on stating things – because this is not that kind of revolution.

You who are monied, while you think you have all the power, it is actually very limited – that is the beauty of material means versus the means which are provided by the collective heart and soul of humankid – we can choose NOT to war, and we can choose instead, to Love, and to do so with the idea in our heads that in doing so, we will create the biggest changes – the ones within our own selves.  This is really what this is all about – who we are to ourselves, and also, of course, who we are to those in our lives – because we actually live a shared life with the entire planet, to this point, and to this point it has seemed as though someone else was in charge, that there were these unspoken rules that make us all feel as though there is nothing left to lose but hope.

Don’t you dare !

“You say you’ll change the Constitution, well, you know…we all want to change your head. You tell me it’s the institution, well, you know….you’d better free your mind instead…”

We have been told over the last few months and weeks that we are going to do this, that and the other, and the collective of us shook our heads, not in disbelief, but, from being tired of all of the back and forth, of all of the name calling of each other, and indeed, we are all part of this, even me, when I state things about getting in each other’s faces, proverbially and for real, and telling one another what we think is wrong with each other, without first thinking about what the hell is wrong with our damned personal selves?

I mean, really – who the hell is anyone at all to tell another human soul who and what they are?

3_revolution

We can sit here, remaining in our Jesus Christ pose, and we can continue with this ongoing ridiculousness that has been the thing that we have called our life blood, but, it is what is killing us, is dividing us, is making us seem like we have to hate on one another when really, all you need is Love.

standing-rock-manao-blog

CANNON BALL, ND – NOVEMBER 24: Water protectors join hands in prayer at the end of the day’s protest as police line the hill at Standing Rock on Nov. 24, 2016, during an ongoing dispute over the building of the Dakota Access Pipeline. (Photo by Jessica Rinaldi/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

 “…but, if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow…”

We must not ever give up who we are, not matter what. We are the global family of those who are here to make a difference, through our character, our integrity, our ability to use all of our senses, including the sixth sense. We are the people who were brought into this lifetime, not just to see to it that what is ours stays ours, but more, that we never ever forget who we are.

We are the Collective, the people who make everything happen. We are the ones who live everyday, trying hard to get past all of the rhetoric, and when we have found ourselves not able to get past it, we chose, and still choose, to instead raise our voices, take a stand and tell the world that we are not afraid.

We are not afraid of change, because we are who will exact it, protesting as we will, making certain the wrongs of the Universal Energies are no longer what we live  in fear of, live hiding from, live to survive but another day because of. We were not brought into this lifetime to be afraid of other  mere humans, at all, and we will do ourselves no real service when we should also choose to just not care, to just stand there in the proverbial line of fire and absorb the hubris of the machine-like masses, poised to believe that their small numbers, and their small thinking, and their smallness of soul is any match for the collective of us who are here, NOT to take away anything from anyone else, but to add to the Universal energies of peace, tolerance, acceptance, and most of all, Love…the sort of the higher energy.

We have become a species too quick to hate that which is not like us, and we have become an imposing energy, together, at one time, creating change as I write this. No matter what it is that we think anyone at all has taken from us, we must not ever forget that we are who makes the difference in our own lives, and not some guys in suits who seem an entire galaxy away from the each of us. When we think about it in those terms, it seems like things are all in a dream state, are all in that place within us where for real, fear exists alongside Love.

And when we have that, the standing-next-to-each-other of fear and Love, we have what is called a balance, a knowing of what is not right for us each, and a belief that we are here to create the change, and that the things happening right this moment are not meant to scare us, but rather and only to make us think.

Today, folks, is the best day for the each of us to don the warrior spirit, the heart of the Goddess, the soul of the angels….and take that energy, and make it our own, and use it, not to destroy, but to rebuild and heal, from the soil to the sky…

Aloha Mai E….

ROX

#TheCrabAndTheFish22

#LosAngelesKahuna

.@LAKahunaRox22


Have a Very Lenny Christmas

a-very-lenny-christmas

We were never born to hate one another, never brought into this consciousness to be divided. This year, instead of having a Merry Christmas, have a Lenny Christmas…

“A Lenny Christmas…”

Hi folks

If you have been reading this blog for awhile, then you already know to click on the photo and most of the time you will be taken to a video or a website. Of course, because it is two days ahead of Christmas 2016, and since it is that human beings in the United States have been handed what we have been handed, specifically just in these last few weeks alone, it should make a whole lot of sense to anyone at all that I wish you all a very Lenny Christmas…

“Love is gentle as a rose, and Love can conquer any war. It’s time to take a stand. Brothers and sisters, join hands…we’ve got to let Love rule…”

If you are any kind of music fan at all, specifically of Lenny Kravitz, then you will know what I mean by a Very Lenny Christmas.

We do not only have to let Love rule, we need to involve ourselves in the rebuilding of the world within our collective whole of human beings. We need…need to let Love, that thing that we apparently, at least a whole lot of the population of planet Earth seem to have forgotten about, rule.

We need to allow ourselves to fall into the depths of understanding one another at a much deeper, soulful level, and our thoughts need to be in line with healing on every level – from emotional to spiritual to financial to physical. On every level that is part of our consciousness, we have to allow ourselves to become vulnerable, to allow others like us into our Soul Tribes and allow it that they will meld into our lives, in our hearts and souls, and become what we were meant to be...which are even brighter beacons of light, so that those who hurt can find us, and we can teach them how to know what is the Truth of Love within themselves.

What we have right now is only half the battle won.

We have been through so very much that a lot of us professional weirdos are very tired, and it is a weary energy that is felt in the whole of us, in the collective of those of us who are thought as being the Keepers of the Divine Secrets, the Wise Ones, the people who are in your lives and on this planet in this lifetime to teach others, in every manner, what is Love. I am not talking about A Love Bizarre, but a Love so pure and contained of the Light within the entirety of us all, every single one of us, that our light shines so brightly that indeed, we have to wear shades.

We have been taught our whole lives that we have to see each other as a competitor, but were not taught that life is not a sport, not a game, but is a gift that we are given every day of our lives. We have been told that in order to do well, to have abundance, to be whole humans and have what we would each and personally consider as being “everything,” that someone else has to go without (no they do not. This is a lie. Please keep reading).

We have been made to believe that everyone else is out to get us, and then one day, typically the day after the fourth Thursday of the month of November, we see this competitive and…primal killing nature…alive and well in modern man.

We are treated to the foolishness, and the greed, and what seems to be the overwhelming need that some people have and display that tells the rest of the world that we are going to get our way, and no one is going to get in our way, and that if anyone does, we are going to make a freakin’ spectacle of ourselves…and up until recently, until some of us (the weirdos on the planet) decided just a few short years ago, that we were no longer willingly throwing our hats into the arena, no longer willing to be in the cage with the rest of the animals, and chose, instead, to give Love to others, rather than give an overpriced item that we are not sure our loved ones could use or even want.

All this does is prove that gift giving is a sport, and that we have to outdo each other in terms of what was spent, along with what we are planning to give, and that we believe will be a better show of whatever twisted form of Love it is to try to outdo others at a time of the year when we need to practice having a very Lenny Christmas.

“Love transcends all space and time, and Love can make a little child smile. Oh, can’t you see this won’t go wrong, but we’ve got to be strong…we can’t do it alone…”

Love is the thing that this world always needs, and Love is the thing that we think we have a choice about, but what we do not realize is that when it is the real thing, we do not know what to do with ourselves. We think we are meant to be crazy when we feel like that, but the truth is that we are giddy with excitement, because we Know Love.

And it is any kind of Love…the kind between two souls…and the kind between Soul Tribes…the kind that is the sort that heals, even though sometimes, it seems like it hurts. It hurts because sometimes, the Truth hurts. This is why we must, at this time in our lives and during this particular holiday season, 2016, let Love rule.

We no longer need to be afraid of who is and who is not going to be there for us, because we know this answer. We need not deal with what is not the truth, because we know, inherently and for sure, what the truth of us is and what the truth of us is is Love. We are made of Love, born of Love, need to Live in Love and to Be, in Love.

To Be, In Love is not only the way that it is typically thought to be -which is the sort that I mentioned in the paragraph before this one…the sort that is between two people . To Be, In Love means to be in a constant state of Love, and the kind that is of the higher sort, and is the kind that compels us to want to help others, want to be there for those we care about the most, and want, mostly, to live in this constant state, not only of Love, but what everything is that is Love.

We cannot know Love unless we are able to Love Our own Selves…

This is the truth.

We only know the Love within us, and we are dearly wanting to share it with the world, with one other person, but first, we have to know how to share it with ourselves. This does not mean that you have to not hope for Love from another, but, in order for you to know for real what it is, you have to be able to get past your own foibles, have to understand that you are who is meant to help you heal – not someone like me who teaches others how to do this, and not someone like the Gator who can do this from a distance and not someone like my cousins who are able to place hands on a person and understand what is a person’s damage.

We feel lonely when we have no outlet for this Love within, and that is when we are also being told, by Spirit, that we have to Love our selves completely, or else how will we be able to do that for another person? How will we know how to Love if we do not know this for and by ourselves? How will we know what is NOT sacrifice and what is sacrificed for the sake of the health of Love? How, indeed, will we ever be able to discern what is the truth of the Love that we each and actually deserve, the sort that takes time to build and the sort that wakes you up in the middle of the night thinking about this Love that exists within and eventually, outside of one’s own self?

How will we know this?

We won’t.

…meaning that it needs to be a Very Lenny Christmas if this is, indeed, the Truth of you and who you are.

The Bottom Line Truth Is..

We are here to Love one another, here to help each other learn and to heal and to grow. This is the gift which is inherent within us all, and the one that we seem more inclined to think is not worth the value of a tangible item inside of a box that someone in a land far, far away built and that a conglomerate company somewhere in this world sold, and which a part time employee at a mall somewhere was paid to wrap in a bunch of shiny paper.

We are here to Be, In Love, to be the ones who have this killer bent towards healing the soul of the planet, one soul at a time, through whatever means it is that we have been birthed into this consciousness for.

We are here to experience the joy that is the Love shared between two people, but not until it is that our souls are ready for it – we cannot Love anyone else until we can Love our very selves.

We are meant to be with one another, to hold ourselves accountable to the Love within us, to share it and give it away, because that is what it is meant for – to give, not to hang onto and play pick and choose….but to Love all, even if from a distance, and even if merely in the form of forgiveness, because we all know that we forgive others, not to let them off any imaginary hook, but so that we will have peace for ourselves rather than anger that rots and festers.

We are meant to be part of this great big energy that is The Very All of Us, and the Whole of Us is meant, without any sort of resistance, bother to be part of the global human family, even with the people who we would never give a second thought or glance to – yes, even those who you would consider as being “the least of us.”

We are meant to give this Love, at all times, unflinchingly, unabashed, and unconditionally, to others, regardless of their beliefs, their income level, their place of origin, their ancestral beginnings….every damned thing…we are meant to show this Love to this World, always.

We are supposed to do this, because this is what we are born for…this Christmas, please enjoy the company of those closest to you, and please Love You, as well, and give your Love to your closest soul family members.

Love is automatic when it is real.

Practice Love. Give Love. Know Love. Be, In Love…

To you all…please have a Very Lenny Christmas….

Please click on the links …the gift of music is always lovely to have…please enjoy!

ROX

 

 


In Spades

In Spades Photo Mana'o Blog.png

 The truth of all of this madness that lots of us are experiencing is a collective energy of correction of the Soul Vs. the Ego-Self, and it is happening in spades…

You might think, like I think, a LOT lately, that somehow, the gods are having fun at our collective expense.

Over the last few months and weeks, we have witnessed the comatose nature of common sense with the ushering in of this..president elect….and we are seeing after a very long set of generations a lot of ugliness that has happened to our Native American brothers and sisters, my own Hawaiian global ohana, and, as well, the water supplies all over our nation being tampered with and, at least in my own leanings, poisoned, on purpose, because there is a guy who walks the crust of the earth believing that we humans do not have the right to water – because he wants to keep it all, bottle it all and sell it all to us in the form of “healthier” water. 

…and there is a certain set of carbon based human beings of a certain low soul-nature who believe that the things going on still at Standing Rock were not somehow all part of this horrid plan to make certain that we be sent backward in time to a place where certain people among us, myself included, become lesser than others, because of whatever it is that we are being told, but, where it is that we with darker hue skin end up having to, all over again, fight for what was ours…including the rights of indigenous peoples to our lands. To some of these people who this person is choosing, Sacred land is just real estate and NOT lands that our ancestors and our transitioned holy people – our Medicine People and our Kahuna, our Shaman, our Witches and our Sorcerers, our energy healers, light workers, our people who check the box “other,” still, when we are asked on a government form, a loan application, anything “official” about what our origins are.

Goddess help those of us who were not born here. Goddess help those of us who are of a dual-soul. Goddess help those of us not super wealthy, not a certain color of skin, not a whole lot of things…Goddess help us, even if we were born and raised in this country.

Goddess help us.

And ALL of us, even us weirdos – every single one of us is being shown things in our lives that we would rather not have to look at it, because all of it looks like massive losses, a whole lot of further desecration of our Mother Earth, loads and loads of women haters, religious zealots, entitled CEOs who are being turned into politicians, and let us not forget that children all over the world, even here in the states, are going to bed at night hungry, and yes – here in the richest country in the world…our children go to bed at night, sometimes in the car which doubles as the family home, hungry.

And people who thought they were good hearted people made it a public thing that they were not thinking about the future generations’ ability to feel safe in their own skins…YES- SKINS, namely if it is a beautiful dark hue- but only about how they might win something that truly pertains to them but in a VERY VERY far away manner.

You showed….okay MANY, MANY of you showed the world – YES..THE WORLD….the truth of who you are.

I am going to likely lose a lot of readers with this next comment, and I am okay with it, but, those of you who chose like you did also showed us who you are, for real, and if that is not the way that all of you are for real, then you voted in the heat of the moment. And here we are, all of us now, wondering why it is that there are still people defending a lying treasonous human being who publicly bullied a disabled person, who objectified women, basically spat upon the collective of poor working people whose care he left in the hands of people who would rather see them no longer in existence.

This is what I have to believe, given that I am female, that I am outspoken, that I am left-leaning but middle-ground standing, that I am, unlike MANY of my own family members, one of those …darker-hued Americans…fun stuff….none of them see ANYONE BUT ME….they do not see me as a threat to anything OTHER than the possibility that, on any given occasion, I might threaten that they can bank on seeing me in the future, and that indeed, I might bring up a fun memory from our shared kidhood…but that is all they feel threatened by me about….which really, it’s not THAT big of a deal.

I want people to know that this is what and how some of you chose  – choosing how you did and hurting people like me, a person who, while she was younger, might have wanted to go toe to toe with anyone willing to bring her harm, but who now no longer can deal with violence, with bullying, with the put down of people who might not have had a choice OTHER than to have to survive by public means. I want people to know that I was raised as a Christian, by parents who, to this day, still believe in the power of their own spiritual beliefs…and because of this, I have a very hard time thinking that those who voted for “the religious right” chose so for any other reason than their level of belief in a deity that most who knew me as a younger me who then also chose to make fun of me because I HAD to go to church…. that they felt threatened by a whole lot of things.

The one thing that you ought to have felt threatened by was just exactly how you have chosen what you have, which was only to win, which told a whole LOT of us, on some level, that not only did you believe none of us would go through what we have gone through FOREVER…you also believed that we would NOT think that your choice for this person supported not only a lying narcissist, but also a guy who actually thinks, perhaps even believes, that being publicly outed as a liar, on any level, is not only not good for the country, but, he might well find out that it is also not good for business.

Winning is only one time, specifically when you have treated something as important as the choice you each made become the biggest spectacle ever…almost like it was some sort of sporting event…this was how you – most of you – treated all of this..choosing… that you did.

I might be wrong. I hope I am. But, after having witnessed a whole lot of stupidity over these last few weeks after November 8th, 2016, I do not think I am.

What I think I am is disappointed in the idea that there are a LOT of people who know me, who know that I am NOT white, who know that I love people, even when they hurt me, and the only thing that I can do by that time is to Love them from a distance, just so that in some small manner, I do not have to hurt one more minute by them, and are people who also were not thinking about the idea that they know folks like me, swear that they love us.

They know folks like me who are not the type who goes into these things lightly, that as an Ordained Minister of the non-denominational type, as the type that is Kahuna Wahine, is Medicine Woman, is scientist geek in behavioral sciences – not one of you thought about your friends who look like me, who are female, like me, who loved you all without question or regard and in this moment, after all of the ridiculousness, the only thing that I question now is why did you NOT think about us, your minority, your female, your gay , your working class friends and family members who would be, in some manner, affected in the manner that we have been.

I hope, for real, that your boy can handle all of us, all at one time, when we decide that our patience has been worn thin by the very lot of you becoming ugly creatures in the soul, when you realize that the thing that you thought was the right thing was actually the thing that you ought to have thought about and when you punched that hole in that card, you were punching it on behalf of me, too.

I hope that, for real, and this is not all of you – there are some of you who actually ARE a person whose values are truly what the right’s are – but for real, those of you who chose not to think about your friends who are like me – not white, not male, not Christian, not YOU – and who are already feeling our own losses, because that is what you chose for us, is what you chose for me, for my budding feminist daughter, my oldest son who respects women because his mother taught him through her actions and her truths what to look for in a woman when the time comes that he is wanting to start a family of his own, my baby…my Joshua…who is spending his kid years in a culturally diverse neighborhood, being taught in one of the very best charter schools in the state, by teachers who are very liberal and very loving when they realize who they are being kind to while these kids are not in our care…

Seriously

It is not that I feel slighted by this orange faced clown who people took seriously – I feel slighted, somewhat, by the idea that people who have known me for years voted for a guy who blatantly lied and still does, who keeps secrets when he is not supposed to, who picks fights with the people who he is supposed to be serving – us – whenever one of us has an issue with him or his people, rather than practicing what he is headed for doing, he attacks one of us, rather than correcting his particular people. He stole money from students. He is trying hard to keep all of his international interests, and now that the reality is here….he is not being the guy who he was when he was campaigning.

Yet, even that is not my issue.

My issue is always going to be that those who know me do not realize that choosing this person also was your choice in terms of what is actually in your soul. My issue is the idea that you might have wrongly believed that I would agree with all of the crap that we heard, would give this guy a chance or something like that, as if you would do the same in return, and that the hurtful things that your choice brought into light, the idea that you might have thought people like me would be okay with the idea that you did not think about the entirety of the whole, and possibly only by right of what color you were born as.

You might think that I am being harsh, but, I am not being harsh at all – I am being this way because for weeks, your choice has brought harm to my psyche, to my being of self in that I love you, that there is no choice that I make, when speaking in terms of who we are and how my choices affect you in every manner, which does not involve how it might affect you. How you came to the conclusion that I might, that anyone not thinking in the weak manner that you were, agree with your choice or the bullying that a lot of us who DID not choose that guy, is beyond me. I used to believe that you knew me well enough to also know that your words that are attached to your choice and mostly the truth behind your choice – this is what brought a lot of people you said you loved more harm than I thought you were capable of. Your choosing that guy, to a lot of us, meant that you no longer chose us…at all, if what you thought was we would not be harmed by it.

We were, and it was not economic, and neither was it anything political or tangible.

It was all about the truth of your soul, the truth of your feelings of low self-worth and inferiority, and the only thing that you chose with was this, masked as things that you do not like, because you refuse to learn to understand them. I must ask you each and all to go within your selves and see if you could tell a foreign child..maybe 5 or 6 years old..that you hate them because they do not believe in your god, that you despise them for existing, that you wish their parents were dead because whatever fucking stupid reason that you thought you had, when in reality, it was not a reason.

It was an excuse.

I said it.

Deal with it.

You felt bullied by the ones who were bullied – all because we were exercising our right to being the best versions of ourselves, all on our own, and we were, still are, getting better at being those best versions. Would you really call this choice showing everyone that this is the best representative version of yourselves, down deep in the bones of your soul?

Can you even answer that question without hurting one of us again or having to go through the pain of having made such a choice?

And this is how you answered that energy – by choosing with your arrogance, your ego-selves, and not with the heart that, for those who chose this way, I am hoping that deep in the bones of your souls, you are still who I have always known you to be, which is not someone with an excuse for having chosen, not in favor of people like me, but, in favor of people like the actuality of the truth of who you are and have always been…apparently.

I get it – people grow and become new, but this is not new.

This is VERY OLD THINKING…and is NOT thinking that is the manner of your own generation, because I know that you were not the people who were raised this way. Your parents did not teach you this…manner of excusing your selves from thinking about the whole, rather than your tiny, daily waning sense of your own truth in self.

I could not ever make a choice because I might feel like I am being affected by something that I have no control over, such as someone’s color of skin, or their religious beliefs, or their gender or their lifestyle…anything that is not someone’s choosing, or perhaps is something that has been theirs to embrace from a very young age, is the thing that many people were not thinking about. It doesn’t matter, will not ever matter, that I am told that I am loved by you, and while it is none of anyone’s business what anyone’s choice at all is, what I was told by your choice was….is….how you actually feel about people who you do not know anything about, about beliefs that are not in line with your personal own, about how you feel about the disabled, how you feel about women and our rights and our rights to choose what is right for our lives and our bodies….you made your choice against my only daughter, and my sister in law, my nieces, my friends.

You chose to bring back to men the right to play grab ass with us (and if you have known me for any long amount of time, then you also know that I AM NOT ONE WHO LIKES HAVING HER PERSON GRABBED- ANYWHERE). You chose to let this…very PROUD promoter of violence, in the form of rape and verbal bullying against women and all of everything beautiful about womankind…LEAD US. You chose this person who has been the thing that we have NOT condoned, this whole…arrogance that so many of you had to just …NOT SHOW THE REST OF US….you chose, with WHO you chose, to show us what your actuality is and you did so IN SPADES.

In Spades…

While you might not have thought in this manner as you poked that hole in that card stock, it was the only thing that we who work in the world of Spirit, whose goals and lives and jobs in this lifetime have everything to do with healing the soul of the planet, you were making things different and not in the right way for those like us.

Your choices are everything, and I have a lot of pals who are actual conservatives, and if those people voted how they did – that is THEIR right, and they are the very ones who are NOT poking fun at me because they assume that just because I am female, that I voted for the other person. To you guys – you know I love you, you know that I KNOW you voted in terms of what you have always believed. I would NEVER expect you guys to choose apart from your party. You know I love you. You also know that you are not who I am writing to right now….by any means….you know this. (Including and specifically, you, Coleen…stay real, lady…)

It is the rest of you, the ones – many who I grew up with – the ones who are still gloating, and choosing to still create a problem with me, for whatever reason you have..because you are actually one of those people who, in a deep seated manner, and in some small way, actually feels the way that particular majority of people who voted in that manner, voted.

Yes…I said it, so deal with it, because I know the difference between a person who is actually “party proud” and wears it, and to those people I must tip my proverbial hat, because really, I am likely one of their most, if not THE most, eccentric and liberal, albeit moderately so, friend they have and person who they know, and they have NEVER had a problem with me.

When they have corrected me and my antics, it is not because of anything MORE than that they believe that I am now behaving like the thing that they are not.

The thing that they are not is …fake.

And yes – they each and all know EXACTLY who they are, and we have a great amount of respect for each other and we always have. And why?

Because I am not worried about their ideals, their likes and dislikes, because I am not interested in their way in terms of their beliefs – they know that I know who they are, and that they are true to who they have always been.

It is the rest of you who voted because you thought you knew what was going on, who believed that the reason you chose how you did was because you felt like a fucking loser, over, of all things, your own people taking advantage of the working class (read: YOU GUYS)  and your own people who do not know what the fuck you were choosing. If you felt like a loser, and your choice made you feel like a winner, the only thing that you have “won” from me is your way out of my life.

You chose going with the crowd, the one that hates what they do not understand, and the one that doesn’t like the idea that we are a diverse populace, and the one that spent its life bullying people, just so that you would “win” by fists and your bullshit, rather than on your own brave heart…you chose effrontery, because you felt threatened, you felt belittled by us, and you had no reason to feel that way. All you felt was this essence of effulgence coming from us.

That was called, is still called pride in ourselves, because we have been who has been real, and by this I mean that at our core, we are the realest people on the planet, and you just do not like it when we are in your face with it, even though we do not even give you assholes the time of day – it does not work that way. We are who we are, and prior to this person “winning,” you were either very dearly and truly the you who I have known, who many have known…

…or, you really are this big of a fake, and not a very good one if you are trying to pass it off on me that you truly are being true to anyone at all, but rather and only to your inner self that felt so afraid of losing…

It is totally because truly, you are now and have always been a loser.

Namely if you had to choose a bully who is only choosing more bullies…who is proving to us all, right now, that he is the right leader for a small minority of people who themselves have always felt like they need to have a means by which we, the rest of the people, will be told that yes…yes, indeed not only are we going to pay for your feelings of being losers…

…that you will continue to believe that this is the right way to be, namely when you KNOW that this is NOT the real you.

My only question, for real, is how long have you been a phony, and has it been as long as I have been loyal a loyal friend to you?

#LosAngelesKahuna

.@LAKahunaRox22

#TheCrabAndTheFish22

 


…about Standing Rock

standing-rock-manao-blog

LOKAHI

 

Lokahi

It means “Unity.”

This is what all of this…chaos…with all of this unneeded pipeline was all about…it was the Universe’s way of making us look at ourselves.

We are not in as bad shape as we thought we were, at least not in the way that we were interpreting what it was that we were all watching happen…yes, the 2016 elections.

We were in unity, we were in lokahi, but, at the level that we did not need to be. I have to put it out and in front of everyone, right now, and that is that in the most unconscious manner, we let our egos out to play.

Yet, what we were not prepared for, at all, was that the other team…the pipeline investors…wanted to take the ball home, because they were losing. They found out that the kids in the neighborhood were not having that. They found out that throwing sand in their eyes …that we meant business – we were no longer, on many levels, willing to allow ourselves to be bullied by the kids who lived in the more affluent neighborhoods. This is the only way that it can be described because this is the way that it felt, at least to this intuitive.

We found out a whole lot about ourselves, and lots of it was important.

We found out that we don’t play well with each other and that it is not now, nor has it ever been our fault. We also found out that we were not willing to let our indigenous family ever have to fight for what has always been there, were not willing to make them repeat the travel on the trail of tears. We showed up, in droves, because they were not the only ones who were not havin’ that.

None of us were, and at one moment we forgot the actual reason why- the children, not just of Standing Rock, but, all of them, all over the planet, and not only here at home in the United States.

The children, all over the planet, were watching…even the ones in the ugliest neighborhoods on the planet, the roughest places in our communities…I know this, because I reach out to those ones in particular, because those are the truest people, the golden people – they are the ones who know struggle. They are children turning the ugliest places into the playgrounds that they don’t have access to…the harshest thing to hear is the laughter of children at play in places they ought to not be laughing, but laugh,they do.

…because only in childhood can beauty be experienced in the midst of chaos…because childhood is chaotic, but it did not have to be this chaotic. We forget that it doesn’t take much to scare children. Then one day, we remembered, because teachers in our public schools are talking about it…and it reached our kids, and it became real to them.

We saw the fears of the kids at Standing Rock in our own kids.

We remembered what was important, and it was not what we thought it was. We found out that we are legion, are numerous, are here in droves. We found out, on a large global scale, that we care…and it is not just a little bit, but a whole, whole lot. 

This is who we are, we, the people.

We care.

About each other.

About children in particular.

We want to save them from the monsters of life, of our times, and we want them to be what we were never, which was living in an actual energy of feeling safe and secure within our homes, in our lives and most importantly, in ourselves. We have, without getting ugly, and only with the heart and soul of the planet, of the Universe, of the Goddess, right there, prodding all of us who are called “Mom” to do what is right, no matter what, and that was to make certain that this tiny little patch of land that does not belong to anyone BUT those Sioux children, stayed theirs.

Period.

And it happened.

It Happened…Lokahi WORKED

Our unified stance, NOT AGAINST anything but FOR the generations to come...THIS is what caused this outcome, this beautiful beginning, because this is not about an end to anything other than that making it completely clear to the powers that WANT to be, that they are not above the populace, and that the populace, when the innocent are involved, is GOING TO be victorious.

The populace came to the call of duty – even the retired military…one of them walked 800 miles to make it there, to be there for his people, the tribal Nations of America…the Native American Peoples. This was an ugly time, a time that showed us our black and our white, sometimes literally, and we had to face ourselves. When it came to looking at the vulnerable nature of children, of any nation, we began to remember who we are.

We began to recall the things that were important to us when we were children.

As parents, we are responsible to make our kids feel secure, not only physically, but, within themselves and emotionally. They hear everything, and they are lot more intuitive than we think they are…and I only recall this because this is what I was. I had an imagination, and it is not always beautiful. Sometimes it is scary, because I have been that child who felt alone, and who sometimes, in her own confusion, was alone, because I was so…different. The children who are different – these are the ones who are most affected. ALL CHILDREN WERE AFFECTED BY THIS, whether we know it or not, believe it or not...this is the truth.

They know now that people are unkind, but there are people who will always love them, and people who will be there, in their corner, if not in their lives, pleading with the world to please, remember them, and more, remember you and who you were and what scared you when you were just a child. Remember that you were this vulnerable, and that there are big people who will think about themselves, who will spend insane amounts of money, thinking about their own children and what that investment can do for these kids of theirs.

But, the world has children outside of those golden walls of affluence.

Not all children live in affluence.

This was not what was thought about, two years ago, when it was that this pipeline came into meetings and think tanks and things that the rest of us know nothing about…at all. We cannot even begin, the majority of us, to think about how much money that we are talking about, only that it was an amount of money that we cannot even begin to think about making, let alone seeing, in our lifetimes, even combined with those who are closest to us.

These are the people who we are talking about, and these are the people who are not seeing past their bottled water and their ability to make us all think that that level of purity is in a bottle, rather than in the core of the Mother…Haumea.…Earth.

We are mere humans, and we are not here to change this place. It is here to help us change to do what is needed to keep the future safe.

Keep the Future Safe

Water is life.

It is.

My Astrological element is water. So is the Maestro’s. If anyone can tell anyone else about the destructive, or the transformative, or the life giving, or the anything else…of water, because we are each of the water element…it is either of us. The each of us. We get it. It sucks, but we get it. It is scary how much we understand things that happen around us, but, when it happens to us, because we see it outside of us, then it happens in our lives, perhaps to us, or to the other, and we just don’t get it.

Even though we totally get it. Because we are water. We know that water is life. We know that damage to the self is unneeded, but it happens, but, who would do this to themselves – what would cause humans to think that other humans would want their own children to go through what a special-to-themselves-group of people would think of themselves, but not of children, from anywhere, and who are any children?

Who would do all this damage…and why?

Why would anyone Native want to hurt anything Earth? They wouldn’t

Ever.

And then this whole…#NoDAPL thing happened, and suddenly, the mom in me comes out, and she comes roaring to the forefront of things, at least in her own world, where she makes the very most difference. And the way that she tells people about this ugliness happening, this crap that was going on to these indigenous people in North Dakota for a very, very long time now in our lives, in these times…is to relate it to them in terms of their children.

Yes.

Me.

That me…the one who celebrates holidays with her children because of her children and their existence in her life. That me, the one who understands being the child, as well as being the mom, and being the intellectual, and the behavioral scientist, and looking at it as though it is a people soup and not the sort that I like.

It is like the ants in the pile of vomit that a bunch of over-indulgent investment bankers who just got a little too …indulged…with their need for us all to be invested in the idea that we need oil, rather than realizing that the Beatles were right in that indeed….here comes the sun and all of its life giving, energy producing goodness. We don’t realize this. They needed us dependent on their oil, and they wanted to poison water, because one of their own people – another super rich guy – wants the human race to believe that we do not have a right to water.

And a lot of us believe this crap…until we bring it home to them, and suddenly someone like me puts it in perspective for other people and remind them of what it is that they would do for their own children…and why was it not that big of a deal that we not allow this to happen, no matter what. We do not see what is there until it comes to the forefront of things, and then, we want to know how it is that we have been involved.

Then we think about things in another manner….

Until it happens in our lives, and sometimes, when it happens on the grand scale, where what we have to say feels like it is not about us or our own, but that on the large scale.

North Dakota is that …or rather, was that grand scale.

Global scale.

Together we made sure that we all knew what was happening, and all of the moms could relate to this, because in most indigenous nations, it is the women who are the power behind the people.

Women are typically peaceful, intuitive, nurturing.

We protect the young, no matter whose young they are…we protect the future, because that is what we do…we literally bring into the world, the generations of the future. We are the moms. We are the ones who bring the people who change this place. We don’t know this, but we each and all hope this. Then one day, we realize that it is only our world that it matters that they know this is important. Because this is the thing that they take into their world, so that in that world, particularly with their kids, they want the thing called Love to be recognized and that they created and exists in their world.

They have to learn this from somewhere, and the people who teach them what they know are the moms.

We are who teach them Love. We are their first Love. We matter to them. We are the ones who show them what a mom is supposed to appear to look like, but, then we grow up and we find out that there are moms on this planet who look apart from the thing that we have been taught. We end up realizing that Mom, in and of her place in our singular lives, is important.

But, on the level that is global?

Mom is every single one of us who is actually called “Mom” to at least one person, whether we birthed them or not, blood or not – this is our place. We are here to protect the future. This is why the Water Protectors are Women. They are the Women of Standing Rock. These women are the face of the collective of warrior women, for real, in their lineage. It is the same thing that is Hawaiian, and on that end, we are as tribal as the women of Standing Rock.

We are ka po’e o ka wai…the People of the Water, we Polynesians.

We are the ones who understand, very personally, the connection humans have with water.

This is why this was very, intensely personal for us.

This is why all of the Polynesian Nations were represented at Standing Rock.

This is why we knew what we were fighting for alongside these other global tribal peoples, and it was a very beautiful thing that was born of a very vile thing…a thing called greed.

Yet, in lokahi, we showed the powers that want to be, and together, online and in person, all over the world, we showed them our war paint…and it was not what they expected.

They expected savages, and they were not met with it. Yet still, they fired, because that is all they were ready for…this cowboys and indians thing. It didn’t happen that way, at all.

Instead, they were met with the women.

They were met with the leaders.

They were met with the scholars.

They were met with the clergy.

They were met with everyone in the world.

But mostly, they were met with the future, met with the children.

Somehow, it worked. The power of immense Love, immense Faith in ourselves, in each other…this is what happened at Standing Rock. We fought on the side of Love, not against Hate. We prayed, and broadcasted, and wrote, and supported, and prayed, and shared, and liked and we did it and we did not stop.

We did not give in.

We were, the very all of us, the People of the Water.

We were very, dearly the People of Aloha…

This is who we are.

The People of The Water.

Standing Rock made us all become the People of The Water...

…we did it….

We did it

#LiveALOHA

#LosAngelesKahuna

.@LAKahunaRox22

 

 

 


%d bloggers like this: