Monthly Archives: November 2016

SCATHING: Some words about your freedom of speech and my freedom of not wanting to put up with your shit.


When you choose to challenge others through being a scathingly ugly person, it is like stealing their right to freedom of not hearing your crap as much as it is someone else trying to steal your right to freedom of speech.

I have a problem with people lately, more than I have in the past.

I am someone who enjoys the freedom of speech that we are afforded in this country.

I am a writer.

As such, it is mine to enjoy this thing called free speech.

As a public speaker..again…free speech.

However, in some cases, as an American who appreciates everything that every veteran in this country and its history has done, namely losing their lives, so that my right to sit here, for the rest of my life, and write these things, I am a bit dismayed with the idea that there are people who have taken it upon themselves to attack others for having a different opinion than they do. I have the right to think that something is funny, and I have the right to agree with things that some people think are dumb. I have the right to write these things, because I am protected by the same speech laws and rights that others have that allow them the freedom to state, verbally or in writing, whatever it is that they might.

This includes them being …horrid…to us, just because that is who they are, and how they are, and what they do. They do this for whatever reason they might have, but the one reason that I have known, for a lot of years, and now, too, online, is that a bully is a bully, no matter what.

In the past, and not that long ago in the past, the world was not the scathing place that it is now.

“Scathing”…it is a very…passionate … word.

We are, by and large, as humans, very passionate with our words, sometimes in a very ugly way, especially when we feel like there is anything at all to “win.” We like to “win” no matter what, and it is because we have not, a whole lot of us, been taught to also learn to lose well. Whoever said that life is a game didn’t think before they said it, because all that did was turn everyone into either a “winner” or a “loser” and the truth is that life is NOT a game, but an experience.

I do not feel as though it takes anyone at all very much …in them…to be nice, or at least cordial, even though you want to be otherwise. It seems very odd to me that anymore now, we seem more inclined to give an opinion rather than to state facts and more, to state what are our own actual facts to anyone at all, even those who, because of their demeanor, whether it is online or offline, disagree with us.

In fact, that is the one time that we need to be on our best behavior and if anyone at all knows about it being hard to behave one’s own self, it is this chick.

Behave your damned selves already…

It might well be that over the course of the last year, things that have happened in my life, as well as in the lives of those who are the very closest to me, that I have chosen to not argue with people when it comes to their opinion…unless, of course, they attack me online.

No. I cannot take a joke, and no, I do not want to make anyone think, for any reason at all, that I want to go back and forth with them – I don’t. The hardest time that I have had in exercising this…behavior of mine…and that is nothing at all like it used to be (in your face, ghetto style even). There was a time when I used to speak to people as though I was smarter than they were and sharper with my words than lots of people were (and yes, I think this way now, but it is not the same energy…please, keep reading), and thought so because why?

Because I was that good, and I could do this whole…being horrid to others in writing… and was good at it…that’s why.

That was a very long time ago.

These days, I happen to like walking on the side of the rope that tells me to always, even when I am right, even when I am using foul language…try hard to be nice to others.

I am not going to fail to what I used to be. I will not now, and within the best of my better abilities, try hard to NOT, go there, ever, when it comes to arguing with people, namely not over an opinion that might be something that not everyone agrees with.

I will not be abused in any manner, by anyone, ever again…no, not even on something as ridiculous as social media.

I have the same right to not have to put up with peoples’ ugliness on my network profiles as they do to not have to put up with mine, and more, not have to put up with their nastiness on things which I post and are based completely on my opinion. I maintain the right that we all have to NOT be disrespected, NOT be called names, NOT have to deal with shitty people and their shittiness…at all.

I have, over time, kept my ability to demean things and people, or at least have tried to, NOT get personal with those who I know, in check. It is a challenge, to say the very least, but I do it because I have, in a year’s time, been honed by life. I have endured a LOT, with, for, and because of other people. Only in a few instances has it been that I loved them enough to stick by them that it made it all worth while for me. I have watched the one person who I love, and love as much as I love those three people who call me mom (and a few who call me this and who are my adopted soul kids) go through the unkindnesses that he has gone through. Think whatever you want to, but, it takes very little to be kind to people. Even when we don’t agree with them.

Most folks have me pegged as someone who is possessed of a sharp, forked tongue, when the reality is that I cannot lie about things and have a clear conscience about it afterwards. It takes me a bit of time to call people on their stuff, and when I do, I am questioned, as though I have questioned them personally about who they are, rather than them bothering to see that this is me, in writing, in all of my personal brilliance and glory, able to make choices based on the things that are important to me, rather than on what is popular right now.

What is popular right now is hatred and ignorance.

I am too educated for either of those two things unless it is well placed. I am not about to go rounds with people who cannot keep up with me intellectually, just because all of their lives, they never valued intelligence.

I have maintained that these people have the right to not feel like I am attacking them, because I am very good at attacking people, whether you believe that much or not.

However, I find it boring to attack, and will not have the thought in my head to seek out other peoples’ different opinions. I would rather be kind to someone over something we have in similarity than to continue to tell them what it is that I am and that they are not. They are able to do the same thing, and then what are you going to do, get mad at them?

I have the same right that anyone else has to not have to feel like I am being demeaned, being belittled, being thought of as anything other than my damned self. As my damned self these days, the last thing that I am going to do is become one of those…crazy-ass, loud-ass females who has to get loud just to get heard.

And this especially applies to men who like to respond in an ugly way to anything that I have to say on my walls. As ridiculous as it sounds or reads, what you are seeing there are the things that I think about. While you reserve the right to your freedom of speech, I, too, reserve certain rights, and one of those rights is the right to NOT be cyberbullied. 

By anyone, of any age…ever…


I might be loud, but, there are a lot of people who, these days, will tell you that I do not get loud on people when I get mad anymore (unless I am triggered…that is different).

I get educated on people, and remind them that I am not going to deal with them or their crap, that I am not going to deal with one more person, specifically ANY man, being an asshole, just because that is their right to not only be that way, but to express through their freedom of speech just how much of an asshole they have the propensity towards being.

As much as it is their right to their opinion, it is my right to not respond in their favor when I have been abused in writing.

I will not allow others to belittle me, call me a liar, tell me that I am wrong for having an opinion about what it is that I think is good, right, moral and something that I believe in. I will never again let another carbon-based being, no matter who they are or who they think they are, no matter what they want to believe or what it is that they have opinions about in terms of what I believe…those people will never, ever get to me again.

There is nothing in their right to freedom of speech that states that I have to sit there and take their shit.

I don’t.

No one does, and really, that is not an opinion, but a fact.

As much as we all enjoy our freedom of speech in this country, we sure do not value sometimes very needed silence. We say we value education, and then many of us behave as though being educated means that we think we are better than other people, and so that means that in some places, and in the minds of a few thousand people, educated people are actually stupid people.

This is not my stating that there are not some among us who are very intelligent. It is to state though that too many of us tend to speak about things, calling ourselves experts because we have an opinion that lots of other people agree with. Lots of people think that this makes them smart. It doesn’t take a lot of smarts to make people think you are smart. It just takes you to know who your greatest audience is going to be and where you are going to get the most agreement with your opinions that you will get people who think that, based on that opinion, they are right.

Again…popular does not mean right, in any manner at all. When we think that our opinions are more important than are the facts of other people and their lives and who they are, we are not being smart, but merely acting like we are so that we can be the smartest of the opinionated people. This is fine.

Been there.

Done that.

It’s lonely there. I promise.

We think we are so damned smart here, when really, all we are is opinionated. We allow it that other people can and do piss us off a whole lot, over, of all things, opinions instead of facts. We allow what others think about anything at all, that is not the same thing that we think, is somehow the thing that makes us superior to them.

Just like all else that doesn’t…such as income level, zip code, race…

It doesn’t.

That people win things wrongly all the time is one thing.

That other people will gloat over the fact that a win is a win is another thing all together. The most alarming thing about this is that just as much as we will accept other people treating us badly, we will also apologize to them for our having had a difference of opinion. Why?

What are you sorry for? Why are you sorry for having an original thought? What is making any one of us believe that who we are is such a big deal that what we opine about is somehow the truth of all truths.

And this is the truth…that our own truth, at least where we, ourselves and ourselves alone, are concerned, is the truth. It is our truth. If we know it is factual to our own lives, then the only truth it needs to be is ours. No one else’s will matter because very simply, their truth and your truth will not be the same truth. It won’t be the same truth because you are not the same two people – each person is given to their own version of the truth. My truth is not going to match yours.

Big deal.

I am not going to sit here defending my truth because it is not going to change. Where you are getting the idea that I am somehow okay with being verbally and “in writing” abused by anyone is foreign to my thought process because in my thoughts, I am not a bad person who deserves to be treated in the manner that many have, over the last few weeks, treated anyone at all.

It is not particular to just me. It seems rampant, this constant…fucking with people.

It seems like it has come to an entire world filled with no-holds-barred vitriol and for what?

So you can feel like an even bigger winner through being a scathing asshole?

Disagreeing with me is one thing, but please manage to keep your manners about you when pointing out your disagreement, and do, please, if you have the balls to say anything that is anything at all different to what I have as my belief and my opinion, also keep to the facts…and keep your name calling to yourself. It ain’t okay, and no, I am not cool with it.

I won’t allow people to be bad to me, or be anything but what I am like with them personally…which is always typically very kind.

If I am not being kind, then it means, very simply, that you have not been kind to me. That is all that this means. If I am being an asshole to you, it means that in the past, you have been one to me and made an excuse as to why you had and will maintain that right.

If you have been mean to me, you will know you have been, because I will refuse to return your calls, your texts, and of course, your online jabs at me.  It does not bother me that you have your opinions about me, and it does not bother me that you have those thoughts about me that I might not like. However, when they are thoughts, and they are not voiced, I won’t have this…idea…about you that somehow, my friendship with you does not merit the same weight of importance to you as how your words affect me.

And let’s expand on that …your words….for a moment, shall we?

Words, as I have said many times in the past, have power…use them wisely

Whether or not we hit other people back with our words is on us. We have forgotten how to talk to one another in a caring and loving way. We have forgotten that the things that are not going on in our lives for real, the things that are collectively felt and known, things that we do not have a choice about, and we have forgotten that we are not here to be anything other than love, or a lesson in what is not love.

Hurting others, namely when we know them personally, is not a game, at least not to the people who we do this to. I am no stranger to people being crappy to me, all because I have a different opinion than they do. The problem, again, is not that our opinions differ, but that other people get so personal with us when ours do not match theirs. It is a problem, and is one that is apparently HUGE.

I hate to sound like a whiner, but, over these last couple of weeks, we are all lots more…hyper-sensitive…and we are each and all thinking about just winning some strange battle with people we have known for many years, or even a couple of years, and people we know not at all. We are ready to fight with people over our opinions, and the reason is because our opinions are deeply rooted as being part of our ego-selves and our ego-selves are not liking feeling like we are being treated like what we think we are entitled to versus what it is that we deserve.

What we are entitled to is nothing.

What we deserve is nothing less than what we have given to others in terms of what it is that we felt…were of the opinion that and of…they deserved, as if we were somehow the person who has the right to judge someone else, simply because they disagree with them.

…so, pretty much…be kind to one another.


Yeesh !

Our Collective Pain is Caused by Our Collective Disconnectedness

TMB Johann Hari.jpg

This guy wants us all to know that addiction and freedom from it is NOT a sobriety, not even a chemical thing, but a connectivity thing.

The guy in the picture is Johann Hari.

If you click on the photo, you will be taken to his TED Talk. It is titled Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong.  And really, the only thing that I can say is that he is correct.

People do not become addicted to anything unless they do not have some sort of connection with at least ONE other human being.

Just one.

That is all that is needed to stave it off.

I know this, for sure.

It’s a brain thing, which leads to an emotional thing.

We are humans. We need to be closely connected to at least one other person, no matter who they are. As long as they are healthy, and as long as they are true, addiction has a lesser chance of happening. If more people would stop being jerks to those who are addicted to anything at all, and realize that the reason their loved ones are addicted is NOT because of what they are assuming it is, there will be a better chance of those who are addicted no longer being addicted.

It is not a choice. It is an ailment.

It is not a crime. It is something that lots of people judge as being bad, rather than what it really is, which is a sickness, even a disease that kills the soul.

That is…until the addiction can be dealt with. The way that we deal with anything like this is to ask the question, NOT of how they got addicted to a substance, but, how it was that it was allowed that our loved ones, no matter who they are, got into this mess to begin with?

It is a connectivity thing.

I have always thought this way – that the people who are hurting simply got tired of hurting, simply needed a way to escape their pain, and simply, they turned to something that they would eventually have in common with another person. People, by and large, connect with us. When we have a divine connection, we have something to look forward to with one other person. When we are sure of that connection, becoming addicted to anything becomes less of a threat. When we have a human connection with and to just one other significant person in our lives, it makes all the difference in the world, even if the healing takes place after the fact. (Because not all people who are part of the reason why people end up wanting to be healed will be around after the fact – some of them come into our lives to make the addiction happen, so that through the soul, we can filter the addiction, and perhaps even them, out of our awareness….harsh…but true…please, keep reading)

We demonize these people. We tell them to get help and then we abandon them. We tell them that they are loved, give them ultimatums and then, turn away from them. We want people to be there for us, but, when it comes down to it, we don’t want to deal with the issue that perhaps we do not realize we were a part and party to these loved ones becoming what they become.

We end up throwing more pain at them and BANG!

It starts…and we tell them, again and again, to get help, and we don’t realize that we are part of their pain and part of their madness. We want them to do what we want them to do, but not for THEIR purpose only…but selfishly, ours, as well. We know they need help, but it is beyond what we are offering in terms of what kind of help…

Not just a kick ass residential treatment program. Not just group therapy with other addicts. Not just the things that we have all been told is the truth. And there are a lot of things that we have been told is the truth.

I know a whole lot of people who have been there, and have done that, and the entire world has this..agenda…to criminalize these people when in reality, it is not their issues that make them a criminal rather than them being someone who is suffering emotionally.

It is not a crime to be an addict, even though some of the things that addicts do are criminal in nature. I will not sit here and tell anyone that they are wrong for hurting, and I will not further make people who hurt, hurt more, and no way at all will I agree with the idea that once an addict, always an addict, or the idea that they cannot be trusted, just because they are addicted, because they are hurting, and that is how I will  choose to see them – hurting, and not needing to be hurt anymore.

However, there is another group with whom I have an issue, namely when it comes to other peoples’ addictions – the ones who have been there, done that, and think that they know the on;y reason and reality of why people are addicted. I want to ask those who would make these hurting people hurt more why it is that they forgot about what it was like to hurt that badly, enough to have to mask the pain with substance or activity or things…why are you demonizing them, and more, why is it that you want to believe that you trying to help them, by making them see what they will lose (because they already know what they are going to lose…didn’t you?)…how about show them how YOU are doing now? Would that not be the right way to do this? Show them how well you did? Point it out without being a douche bag about it and make certain that they know and believe that really, you mean every word you gave them in confidence to their issues?

You know they hurt, and because they hurt, they make promises that they do not realize that they cannot keep. In that moment, when they are trying hard, they …we…are told that we must be high – because why else would we be nice to them, and why else would we be normal, and why else would it matter what we think of them and them of us?

Why, most of all, would we feel the need to judge someone in pain? And why, of course, is anyone criminalizing people who need healing, not more to hurt about?

Because they are not criminals, per se…they are doing criminal things to support their addiction.

Criminals are typically born that way. Addicts are in pain, and pain is given to us by others who are also in pain.

I know this. I am no stranger to pain. I am no stranger to wanting to get rid of my pain through outer means. In my case, it was pills and booze. In my case, it was drinking and forgetting. In my case, it was anything but criminal and the things that were happening to me WERE criminal…but, I was the bad one. I was the one with the problem…

Blame the addict, not the things going on in the lives and in the soul of them….these are bad people. They are out of control.

This, I have found, because I have asked, is the opinion of the populace at large.

It is not everyone who thinks this way…just a vast majority.

This needs to be corrected. 

This is not my stating that there are not people who are both addicts and shitty human beings. This is my stating that not all addicted people, no matter what it is that they may be addicted to, are shitty people, and this is to say that not all addicts remain addicts.

There are a lot of people on this planet who seem to think that since they have been there, and have done that, and made it out alive and able to tell their story of redemption, that somehow they are the people who have been sent here to make sure that not only other addicts know that they did it themselves, but that those other addicts, even if they do not outright state so, are somehow dirty and evil, and no…no they are not.

What they are is sick.

What they are is involuntarily disconnected  from everyone who they love, trust, need in their lives, NOT to pander to their addictions, but, instead, continue to Love them for who they are, and who they want to be again. 

This is something that I know a lot of people do not want to think is the truth, and until the day came that my guy told me that addicts, we must remember, really have no idea what they are doing once it is that they find themselves helpless and hopelessly stuck in the idea that they are somehow not good human beings.

He has said this to me for months now, about a person who he specifically knows is my family, is someone who I care about and who I want to see the best life happen for. There are people who he knows, who he also cares a great deal about, and because of his explanation of things from the other side of it, I was prompted to learn a bit more about it and to be more open to the idea that there is more than one way to become an addict, and that not all of it is tied to trying things out just once.

Much of it is tied to pain and much of it is tied to being ignored, to being told who you are instead of knowing for sure that who you are for real is good enough for you, and to hell with everyone else. His sharing with me about certain periods of his own life, and me with him about mine, clearly pointed to one thing and one thing that I did not know that I was doing and one thing that I had not thought about and damn surely – I did not like it when others were telling me that I was this, that and the other.

Since I had been there, and done that, I, too, became, in that instance, the thing that I did not want to be.

I became a know it all, and really, outside of my own issue – I knew NOTHING.

Let us get one thing very adequately and dearly understood  – that someone is an addict only means one thing: they needed something to make themselves feel better about anything, and when they could not find that very one person who they could depend on to be there for them, in every way but specifically the “I am here for you for real” way, they felt like they had, like they have, nothing.

That is a very lonely place to be.

I know now that the thing that I was addicted to was NOT any substance, but, the very thought that in my own abilities, I could change a person (I CANNOT AND NEITHER CAN ANYONE ELSE). I tried, relentlessly, to get the man who abused me for twenty-five years of my life, NOT to be good to me, because I no longer cared and neither care what this person thinks of me, because the only “relationship” that there is left is in the sense that is “okay…so you’re their dad…be their dad…”

What I care about is that people are heard, cared about, believed, namely if they have been through a hell that no one else can bother with wanting to know about- when you have been through stuff, and stuff that sucks ass, you, me, we all want at least one other person we have something in common with, that we have a Divine connection with, to be in our lives.

A Divine Connection

I bet you each thought I was writing about addiction, and perhaps that I might even be trying to promote community programs for them.

If that is what you are getting from this, okay, great.

But, the truth is that the thing that I am promoting here is NOT that.

It is the Divine Connection.

We have a connection to one another. We are tied to one another energetically. When someone in our personal tribe of souls hurts, we all hurt. When we are disconnected, we do not realize that we are. When we have these thoughts of grandiosity about what is wrong about us and bad about us, we lose ourselves in that grandiosity, in that place where we want to think is the truth and the truth that we keep hanging on to.

We want the world to think we are okay and when the world finds out that we are not, it is the world, not our truest, closest people, who will turn its back.

It is through these …anomalies…in our own lives that we find out who is there for us, ,who will love us, no matter what. It is when we are so invested in our own pain and in that pain one other person sees us through the lens that is Love rather than chastisement that we begin to see who we are breaking through the darkness of the false self created by the pain and by the way that we deal with the pain.

When we realize that we have come to that place that no one else can relate with, and we know that we are there and still alive and well and breathing…we know Love, and we know the Truth of who we are, no matter who wants to tell us that we are bad because we got hold of some bad chemicals, or bad foods, or bad habits…and called them good for us.

My friends….addiction is not a one person illness. It is an illness that affects all of us, and one that we can conquer, if we know the truth of a person. I know the truths of lots and lots of people, and through all of their pain, all of their struggle, for some of them, I have remained that one person who, even if I am only their cleric, does not make them feel like they are criminals. I will not lie and say that there have not been one or two who I have had to involve the police in, but that is because their addiction led them to become a threat to others, which always and ultimately leads them to also become a threat to themselves.

In that energy, I will leave you with this…

…when you have the opportunity to be of good cause to anyone else, but specifically to those who are hurting, don’t pass it up – you are being met with that person because Spirit has sent them to you for a reason. You either have a lesson to learn from them that you, specifically need to learn, and lots of times, there is more than only one lesson, perhaps several, all to be learned by one person.

When you have the means within you, within your soul, and you know without a doubt that this person who you love is hurting, reach out to them, and don’t make them be alone in this time in their lives, make them be on their own when really, they didn’t get to this place on their own. Shitty people came into their lives and made them hurt somehow. Perhaps it is your job to show them that they do not need to hurt or perhaps it is you who needs to learn how to not hurt others, others who totally need a Divine Connection. Do what you must to protect yourselves, but by all means, reach out and let them know that they are not alone.

It is in the darkness that is being alone and feeling every bit of it, is in knowing that tangibly there is no one else there who we can talk with and who will “get it” in terms of what we are experiencing where you will make the most amount of difference for anyone else at all.

It is within us each and all to look past what is the social agreement that everyone seems to have, with whoever and for whatever reason we have them, that is in charge of us. We are worried what everyone else will think about our choices about that person and what that person is going through that we will forget about, and lots of us who have been there and done that hold the key to their wellness, each and every single last one of us.

It is within the heart of the ailing who only wants to be heard, listened to, taken seriously, and most of all, loved that we will reach them…

It is the Divine Connection of Love between Human Souls that is the remedy…and not the assumptions based on whatever it is that anyone “tough love’ wants to believe.

Love is Love….it is neither tough, nor gentle. It is Love.

Love is the answer

It is the Cure







No matter what…PRAY !


Hawai’ians call it Pule…which translates to the word “Pray” in the English language. None the less, and no matter what, now is the time that we each and all NEED to  Pray for each other and more importantly, to pray for our very selves…

I am no stranger to the Hawai’ian version of what these African-American women are, which are obviously followers of the Christian religion, in one of its many forms. The thing that they are doing in this photo is obvious and ought to be obvious to any one of us…they are praying, and for the most part, we, as a collective, do not do nearly enough of it….

For the very first time in a very long time, the one thing that I am writing about, not only to remind me, but more, to remind all of us of is that there is one thing that none of these …self-help, new age-ish, “metaphysical” teachers, gurus, “experts” are telling anyone, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out WHY !

When all else (seems) to fail, do what your Nana taught you to do and PRAY!


This is a photo of my grandmother, the person to whom we each and all referred to as being “Nana.” Her name was (is) Katherine.

I sometimes loved her more than I loved breathing, still love her, and love her because she taught all of us the value of praying, the value of believing that outside of the very each of us is a power bigger than we are, and that all we have to do is believe that this power is there to help us along in our lives. While it is that I did not become the minister that I am sure she would have loved to know was her grand-daughter, I became one who would carry on her very spiritual tradition of praying, always praying.

My Nana, no matter who says otherwise, was always praying, always thanking her god for all she had in her life and while she was in her body, the thing that she asked me, even well into my adulthood, was…is…if I remembered to pray before going to sleep.

Of course I did.

Of course I do.

Of course!

Whether anyone reading this wants to believe me when I write this, the truth is that scientifically, prayer WORKS. Scientifically, and if you and anyone else reading this with you wants to check it out, the best thing that I can use as that proof is that in the world of Quantum Physics, and by the tutelage of two of my most favorite instructors at MtSac (Hello Professors Lane), prayer WORKS. Prayer has attached to it this thing called energy. In our Universe there are these things called endless possibilities, and within those things are the very kernels of miraculous things happening for the each and every one of us.

When we pray, it is our intention that brings us what we need, and most importantly, brings what is our focus rather than what is our desire, whether it is tangible or intangible. The fact of the matter is that when we pray, we send our fervent energies to the Universe, we send the very dearest and deepest thoughts and desires to the All That Is, and when we do so with full faith – even as it might take a little bit of time to get to us, the bottom line truth is that praying works, no matter what.

Praying Works…no matter what…

Here is the clincher in all of this prayer working and stuff…you have to believe that the things that you are petitioning Spirit about are going to happen – those things, or better.

That is the only way that the Law of Attraction can work – it takes an equal amount of energy that is balanced, and balanced in many ways and with many things involved and things that not a lot of us think about when we are praying. This is where the science of it all comes in and the way that we have been trained (read:LIED TO) to think is that there is only one way to get our way, and it is the right way – it is called Praying. What we are NOT told is that what we are actually doing is sending our very distinct energy along with our very distinct vibration along with our most prevalent thought and through this mechanism called prayer, we are getting our lives on the Paths we each and all belong on.

Once we can get away from the ego-sense of “getting what we want” and more, the idea that there are a few of us on this planet who still think that the reason we would pray is because we want to turn our personal god into the junkyard dog that it is not. Prayer, you see, is our direct connection to the Divine.

Direct Connection to the Divine

This is the part that I like the most – the part that I get to tell my readers things that they were not taught or told in church when they were small kids.

Perhaps it is just me and my thoughts about it all but, for some weird and odd reason, lots of pastors like to pretend that they are the very ones, are the only ones, who have the right frequency when addressing their specific god.

The thing that I like making clear to EVERYONE is that you can call your god “God” or “Godde” or “Ralph” or “Ignacius” and it won’t matter, because no matter what, we are all Divinely connected to Spirit. There is no level that is greater or stronger than is anyone else’s, and the truth of the matter is that in the eyes of Spirit, we are all the very same – there is no one who is better than anyone else, and there is no one who has more pull in the eyes of whatever form or name you address your own personal deity as – it is all One Source.

Let not one other human being tell you that there is some sort of …caste system…in terms of praying and who is able to get Spirit to hear our words better. There is no one better than anyone else, just those who are more adept at praying because it is their Spiritual gift.


Praying effectively is a GIFT OF SPIRIT

Not all of us are able to use prayer in the manner that a whole lot of people, specifically those who are considered to be “old school” are. This is where the thing our grandmas taught all of us of a certain era the fluid nature, the beauty inherent within, the truth in every word said as a prayer.

We do not realize that the other thing that we were not taught about, and that that is no matter what you want to believe – if you believe in your own prayers and the strength inherent in them all and each, you will get what you need – perhaps not what you think you want (which is always the truth, even if the truth is going to suck) but totally and truly and only what your soul needs to move on to the next level of things.

And bear in mind, please, that we are always and ever moving on to the next level of things, even when it seems otherwise. When it seems otherwise is when we are squarely in the middle of things, squarely in the heat of it all, and truly in the midst of change. This is the thing that we are not taught during those times as kids, sitting in the pews, told to trust an unseen god and to follow these archaic rules that this unseen god needs us to heed. I am here to tell you that those rules only apply to those who are following the tenets of that belief and that the idea that anyone’s big scary god picks and chooses is just and only that – a damned idea, but one that never pans out.

Yet, that is beside the point. The thing about this writing today is that we all need to understand that when it comes to the things in our lives that we need on the ethereal level, the one thing that no one thinks about is that always, prayer works, even though the way that it works is NOT to bring us what we want…because those things are ours to see to with the help of Spirit backing us. Prayer works because we have a belief in our own power as souls who are worthy of the beauty that is life, and that even as we have to (yes – HAVE TO) go through things that we do not understand are actually serving us, we forget that all things come to an end, and that this also applies to things that suck.

The way that prayer works in terms of changing things is on the internal level, where it is that the quantum field reacts the best, because the quantum field, according to Richard Feynman, is composed of “little things composed of littler things that jiggle.” It is in the jiggle of the prayer energy where we will find the miracle we plant the seed for, and not in the end result we hope to see happen. When we pray with the intention that we are praying for the entirety of human life, with the thought that the thing we are praying about is the thing that will bring us the most good in terms of life on the planet – we are praying for the highest best good, period, not only for ourselves, but for the entire race of humans, even the ones we don’t get along with.

When you feel like nothing else will work, and you have exhausted the monies you have set aside for all of these great self-help things, and when you are done with spending money on other peoples’ methods for addressing the Divine, you can pray.

Praying is free. Praying allows you to hear your own fears as they present themselves in the manner that they have that would cause you to feel like you need to do something in order that you can feel better about anything at all, specifically anything that you are confused about.

Praying is private and is the one thing that anyone of us can do at any time at all, even if it is a last minute thing. Praying brings the very soul to the body for assistance, which is not something that all of us thinks about when we are praying – typically it is the body coming to the Soul, but when we pray, because prayers are spoken, even whispered, it is the Soul coming to the body for assistance.

Prayer is personal, and it includes our very personal energetic signature, meaning that so long as we are ever true to who we are, and even though it might take a little longer than we care to wait for things to change, prayer is the thing that, so long as we believe (and do so like a Pisces – it is our motto = “I Believe”…and typically, we are right in our belief…rarely are we not) in the power, not only of our words, but more, of our Souls as Self.

It is the Soul as Self that actually directs things. When we pray, we ought to do so from the very core middle of our Souls as Self. The Soul as Self is the Soul with your distinct and unique personality attached to it. It is the part of the very each of us that reaches out when things are ugly, when things hurt, when things are a confusing mess and when things just seem to not be agreeing with what it is that we have had mapped out for our lives and our future. I know this one very personally.

Very Personally….’tis the Goddess Who I Know so very well

Like my mother knows her own personal god so very well, I, too, know the One to Whom all of my fervent prayers go to.

We all have our own deity.

Mine is the Goddess.

I come from an indigenous culture, and one rife with many different gods and goddesses, and all of them created by us, in our own image, and through us, via our own personal power. This way, there is no chance that what has happened the world over in terms of gods and religious belief cannot happen when we are talking about being personally connected with our own beings of Divinity.

Mine is the Goddess.

I know the Goddess, because I place my own well-being, not in Her hands, but, in my hands and trust that She will guide my hands as they write, and as they research, and as they give love and receive love. My hands do my talking for me, in both writing and in dance, and my hands are the things that I ask to please continue to give to me the things that I need to get my own point across, to please be the very vehicle through which understanding by the masses in terms of Spirit and all things strange comes to the world by, and most importantly, to please never allow these hands of mine to become violent, to do harm to others with them, knowing that I could do a whole lot of damage that way, and that way does not need to happen, at least not by my hands.

Seriously – PRAY

Pray for EVERYTHING in your life, and believe the things that you pray for are the very things that, in your life, are needed so as to make that life become all that you envision it being.  Pray when things are bad, but more than that and more importantly, PRAY WHEN THINGS ARE AWESOME AND WHEN YOU DO, DO NOT FORGET TO HAVE AN ENERGY OF GRATITUDE, even if you feel like you don’t wanna do that, because maybe you might feel like you have nothing to really be grateful for. And really, there is ALWAYS something to be very dearly grateful for, even when things are shitty,there are things to say “thanks” for  (such as our ability to think, to pray, to make shit happen on our behalf….)

Seriously, when you have no peace, and you need some, practice your own measure of prayer.

Seriously, when you have to think about something that you would rather not, and you believe that you have a choice to make that the only choices are “shitty” and “shittier” and of those two choices, you have to take the shittier one – PRAY, because in your whispered moments you will find out that all along, you have had the very answers that you needed.

Seriously, when the shit hits the fan, as Polly Ana as it might seem to be, pray. Pray right then and in that moment, and pray because it was the thing that you turned to as a saving measure, not for anything more than to save you as a child from being terrified of things that you have had no control over.

Just pray.

No matter what, do like your own Nana taught you and pray child, pray !! 





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