Monthly Archives: March 2013

Life is Circular

Everything travels in a circular pattern

Gauge with me, if you will, the events of the last two or three weeks, and when you look back there, think about not what you see there but more how you feel about what you have been through…here we go…

I spend a whole lot of time online, working with people whose hearts have been broken, and in that time I have made many friends and associates and throughout that whole short time span I know that I learned one thing better than anything else.

I learned that we will be given signs when the lessons at hand are about done, and it is in that pressure cooker moment of when you think that the energy will explode that no, instead, it simply washes away with the falling of much needed tears. These last six months have been harsh, and stark, and paradoxical. These last six months have broken our hearts and stomped on our souls and crushed our spirit with a collectively felt cosmic bitch-slap that all at once, we felt, and all at once, we understood, and all at once, we had no real clue of not one damned thing other than that we were becoming The One. And that alone soothed us, gave us hope and made us think that maybe things would be okay…if only…

If only we did not have to hurt to get there, and only if we did not have to get messy on the way to wholeness, and only if we could try to evolve and stay in the same manner that we were. And I promise you all that it is indeed and absolutely we were trying to live with our Souls on two different sides of each other, trying to remain apart when there was never a time where you were without both sides of your Soul. This is the thing that became the gift that is within the aches and the pains and the hurts and all else that happens when the Soul of The One evolves…

The ‘lost’ Circle

Let’s not beat around the bush here, okay? It is not a secret even to my very Christian Mother that I, her oldest, is very much the Mystic. While it took her a little while to get accustomed to the idea that I am and in fact going out into the very wilderness that Christ ventured into, just as she has,albeit in a less scriptural kind of way and leaning toward what is my own Scripture – that of the unspoken word and more about the things that stand out to our awareness the most and the things that resonate with what it is that we are doing at any given time. At this given time, we are, many of us, at the tail end of a lesson that has been ours for the entirety of our human lifetimes. The reason that I know this is because after what happened this morning and after I had been able to teach another individual what it was that they were missing in terms of what might have felt like the missing piece, I know that what I said made sense.

I know that what I was telling this father and his son in a Spiritual Counseling session to beat all others was right on, was said to them each in a manner that was clearly and well understood. I know that more than anything else that the moment that I was able to accept the thing that I had taught them was learned and at least accepted in kind that on some level, the circle had come complete. The entirety of the situation that was at hand had come to fruition and the lesson for all involved, learned.

NOW, the way that I knew that this was the truth was not so unbelievable if you are Spiritually Aware is that I have a Spiritual tool that I had been trying to find and couldn’t…for weeks, my Jade charm was no where to be found, and, in fact, even the place that I found it in this morning I do not recall having left it there. …anyway, so, before all the talking and the venting and all the other else, I am just pleased as punch to have happened upon my Jade Charm. Into my pocket it goes. I will not divulge the circle, neither which one had been made full, all I know is that prior to this discussion between a father and a son, that last thing I expected to do, on this Easter Sunday, after these last three weeks, and through all of the self-discoveries that we have each all made, was bother with the slightest thought that the finding of that Jade Charm was that on many, many levels, again, many circles have come full.

My Biblical Clouds

So, you know, it IS Easter Sunday, and we ARE in the middle of the most profound Shift in Consciousness than ever the human race has been in the past, and it hurts, like hell, the things that we have been through. I can liken the dark clouds outside to many things, but the way that they hang right now over the distant hills reminds me how much we have all sacrificed on a proverbial hill which exists in each of our singular versions of “far away.” It is not in terms materially of which I speak, but rather and only in the ethereal nature of Spirit, of the “We” who exist but only and always from within. It is at that hill in the distance that I am able to liken on this day in particular that we collectively have sacrificed much for the benefit of the few, and it was the collective Soul of the Many which now, we prevail.

I am reminded by those clouds of a beautiful parable of a hill far away where an Only Begotten One had given up His ability to Breathe so that symbolically, we would all know what it is to have sacrificed one’s own life and ones own ability to be who they truly are, for a short time, so that someone else would be able to live their one material dream. I see the ones that I have allowed to have been put aside, and ones which have been cast to the side, and see, too, there, that many more have as I have done. We have shed the clothes of the iniquities we were all taught were ours from birth. We never questioned the pomp and neither the circumstance that we ourselves brought to center stage in the show called “Our Lives, Collectively,” and at once even though and paradoxically in the solitude that is the collective one of the whole of “I,” where many of us stood, looking and pondering the things that seem to erupt laughter in the minds of petty fools and which cause the Knowledgeable to believe in their material world versus the blessed mix which is both the within as well as the without…all are one…mitakuye oyasin…kahi nui aloha ohana…one big happy family.

We have never not Been The One.

On a Hill, far away…

I stepped away from writing this for a few moments. I wanted to go outside and see what that hill looked like now, and while I sit here typing this I see that even the weather is in harmony with the thought that we have Become The One We sought out. On a Hill, far, far away in the bowels of our collective mind, there stands the cross that we bore as a Divine Creation, bearing the weight of the world, Knowing that Who We Are is Love.

We sacrificed ourselves for the very symbols of wealth, and when it was that we were no longer able to bear the weight of the cross that finally, we understood was not ours to carry, but that we volunteered for a very long time to carry, it became weird that we should no longer have to toil and strain to bear the weight of the collective few who remain unaware about the fact that they are choosing to bear the cross, even as they also choose to not bear that same burden of responsibility which onto their own backs they carried the weight of the world.

It is the weight of the world to ponder what another might believe to be the truth of you, and it is quite a load more to bear the burden of if we ourselves choose to believe it. We have borne this weight for so long that all we know is that we were told that we have to work for the gifts that we have possessed for many many lifetimes. There was never the absence of the Gift, and neither the working toward of having it “one day,” but that a long time ago, when we were young, we were told that God chose only One To Be The One to save us. We were taught that we had to work toward earning gifts, and now we know that we have always had them and now, we no longer have to do anything but put them to use, because they are the singular version in us each of that Collective Rhythm that is the Collective Rattling and Humming of the Universal One.

You never opted to leave your gifts on that far away hill, but you laid them down there for a while, down by that imaginary river’s side, so that you might find your way home, even in the darkness. It took some time to wade through the river and then to climb the hill and get them all back. It was not ever, guys, that we had to work FOR our gifts, but that those who chose to claim themselves the very most powerful learned that one day, the student learns, and the one thing that this particular student learned is that no matter what, I never have to work FOR my gifts but rather and only WITH them. This is the lie that we have been told for many generations. That we must seek our power with and from others, when really, we are on our own and in our own right, Powerful beyond our own comprehension.

So yeah, I did it….I left that cross on that proverbial hill, right there by that imaginary river’s side, far away, where, from a distance I know that it is always going to be there, and that at a distance and sometimes, in my memories, it is actually a very beautiful thing to see and to know is always going to be there…

Happy Easter!!

I Love You All !

To contact Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell, please click here. Please visit the Sisterhood of The Soul’s Website, “Like” The Sisterhood Of The Soul’s Facebook Page

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I have this friend. Her Name is Gabby…

Sometimes, when we cry, we cannot see that it is not only the end of things, but also, a new beginning…

“These last few days I have been a very -absent from my post – Spiritual Coach, Band Manager, Promoter, and yes, writer, and it is all because I am very dearly at the end of many things, and yes, my proverbial rope is absolutely one of those things.”

And then, when I thought about it some more, it dawns on me….

I have this friend. Her Name is Gabby. Now, to those people who have met, or know of, or yourself Know my friend Gabby, then you know, too, that Gabby and I have a “Love/Irritate” relationship. If you are not aware of Who Gabby Is, well, then, if you do not know who She is by the time that I get to the end of this writing, then I would like you at this point to please go and read my other blog…go! Go Go Go! Nownownow!

Anyway…Gabby…Gabby Gabby Gabby…my dearest Lovely and very Loving Gabby, what the hell are you Thinking, Dear? Okay..honey, and yes, I AM calling you out – and no, I am not talking to the two other Gabbies who I know and have also met personally. No. This is a very different friend, this Gabby, and I am talking DIRECTLY TO YOU, GABBY, and now, you have it in writing, Love. So, Please…’auhea wale ana ‘oe…pay the hell attention, yeah?

So, I am sitting here, and I start writing something toooootally else, and I get up and go to the kitchen sink and I am turning on the hot water and it dawns on me that there is a whole LOT of healing energies that are surrounding us all right now and the unfortunate part about this is that until about ten minutes ago, I did not realize that there is a huge difference in knowing that there is allllll of this energy and that not a whooooooole lot of us Knows what to do with it. Really. Think about it. (Yes, I know – the Sun IS in Aries…blah blah…ruled by Mars…War God – we got it, already – yeesh!). Soooooooo so so many of us have taught SOOOOOOOOOO so many people how to help themselves heal because we gave them the tools to do it through teaching them all with what we had gone through ourselves. Not the event, but how we handled the emotional part of it all.

Seriously, and  yes, Dannie….”Paradox”… think about it…

We all asked for the ability to feel better, but we were not really clear about HOW we wanted to feel better, and it is not that we have no emotions about a thing, but that, as healers, we have to detach from that emotional connection that we have with the people who are in our midst. Now, there are only a very small number of people who know my absolute weaknesses, and all of them also know how hard it was for me to be able to handle them as beautifully as I am and as I have. HOWEVER, ALL this time, and you all know this too, there has been this, person, in my life, who I am in harmony with about one HUGE life event that truly, it’s time has come for it to Be, it has been ME who has NOT let go of the emotional part of this…healing…that is so very, very needed. So, as soon as that dawned on me, that it has been as much my energy of feeling bad about wanting that life event to happen which has kept me tied to it magnetically and not only to the detriment of EVERYTHING GOING ON IN MY OWN LIFE, but more, to the …further pushing it away…this event…that I am in harmony with happening with this one other person involved….of HIS getting what he TRULY wants, too !

In other words, I have been keeping my Self corded to this event and the pushing away of it because I am feeling badly…and maybe a little bit guilty, too…for not feeling bad or like it would be a loss. It dawns on me that I dealt with this event when I knew that there was no turning back, because I knew then, too, that Gabby knew that…well, yeah…compared to what was my life back then to what it is now, I would not have changed a thing, because look at me Now. And Yes, Gabby – Now? Right NOW? It SUCKS and I am not liking one bit of what I have to go through right now. The question I keep on asking You is “Have I had enough yet?” and that is like asking for more of it. Yes, I have totally had ENOUGH of this CRAP!! Gabby! Come ON!! Seriously?

The Point Is…

The point to all of this weirdness is writing tonight is that many times when we are wanting something to happen, we want for it to happen so badly and with that desperate energy which is right behind the truth that the event NEEDS to happen in order for anyone to grow, and that detaching ourselves emotionally from a thing means just that – not only the sad ones or the mad ones, but also, the ones that you might feel on a personal level. I will not lie to any of you, and there are a few people reading this right now who also know that the truth of me is that the only thing at this point that I have seen and know is that from the paradox of the lesson at hand…

Gabby says that we have all had a lot of practice, every single one of us, of detaching. At this moment, there are about a half dozen pairs of eyes that have watched me go through a lot and GROW through a whole lot of detachment, mainly from them, only to return into each others’ lives as the “evolved and learning” person who has replaced the one who had to go away to grow into who we are each becoming. No longer will we have the needs of the ego because that is Now, when the parts of our egos are being fed with what it needs and more and more of us are starting to see, too, that for real – online connections are some of the tightest bonds there are between friends. This is the beauty in the things that have made us all lonely and this is the gorgeous renewal that we each needed to go through. Proof of this beauty is in living Evidence right this moment and that proof bears each of our names.

We are becoming the Na Mamo, The Descendants, and we are each growing with the people and the Tribes who are those who have traveled with us through each and every time in our lives. That is the draw and the similarity and that is why we are who we are at this time and why it is that so, so, so many of us still hurt. We hurt because we are growing, and we hurt because we have to let go of all of those things that breaks us, again and again. I will not lie – I am having a hell of a time getting past what was my day, which I Know is why Gabby got in touch with me like She did.

Basically…guys? We are so not done getting over ourselves…

Oh…haha…yeah…here’s a picture of my friend..Gabby…

I Love You All !!


Defending Love

It is not about equality as much as it is about Love…some words about equal marriage rights for all people

Marriage was not created by God. Marriage and the legalization of it between straight folks was created for property reasons and nothing else. Since it is that this is the truth, my own opinion is that everyone needs to just chill out, take a step back and realize that gays are not wanting to marry for property reasons, and neither only for equality.

They are marrying for Love more than anything else. Rather than defend my own position about this, instead, I will do what I do best and I will glorify and keep the dignity of the thing that draws any two people together and the thing that I know brings two people together for whatever reason at all is Love. It does not have to always mean that the Love between the two is romantic. Two friends who love each other like family can come together and not realize that even as the start of things was very different, it all boils down to the reason that any two people will happen upon the lives of one another. Once people can get past their own personal beliefs about what marriage is meant for, then and only then will things not be so dearly difficult to deal with.

We have all been poisoned in this country, mentally poisoned, with the hatred of things that are not familiar to us. I am sorry, but there will never come a day when this particular writer will be anything but in defense of Love – ALL FORMS OF IT AND BETWEEN WHATEVER PEOPLE IT IS BETWEEN, so bear with me and deal with it because that will not ever change. It is hurtful to make people feel like they do not have the same rights as human beings because a few unenlightened souls do not see past the idea that in their heads, being married is about which parts fit, being married is about two people getting together and who have paperwork between them that states that having sex is a given and a guarantee, that being married is anything about Love. Politics have no place in an actual marriage, and people have no right to judge others based on their own comforts and preferences.

I mean really, when you think about it…

It is no one’s business who is in love with who, and it is no one’s business if two people in love and wanting to be with each other enough will warrant them in love enough to marry. Nobody’s lives will be impacted by gay marriage, and it is because no one’s lives are impacted too greatly by straight marriage.

The reality is that this is not more than bigotry, and it is bigotry of the worst kind. Not because I love doing gay weddings, and not because a whole lot of gay men and lesbian women are very good friends of mine. I am writing this because while a whole lot of people believe that this is anything to deal with in regards to our thinking that a gay man and a straight man are NOT equals, I am here to lay it on you now that indeed, they are. Each of these two men hurt, and each get angry. Each of them pays their bills, takes their kids to school, and each of them have the same right as anyone else does to living a happy life.

I don’t understand why it is that people think they have the right to judge other people over something as simple as marriage between two people who Love one another, and all this arguing over who is legally right to be married has allowed us to stray from the idea that while this is about a bunch of people believing that no, gays and straights are not equal, because somehow there are straight men on this planet who seem to think that they and a gay will not ever be equal, and when we think further about it, it boils down, simply, the idea that there are MANY straight people who think that allowing gays to marry somehow cuts into straight peoples’ time. My question is “How?”

How is it that we can be okay with hating an entire group of people enough to make sure that the one thing that they really want is to be able to be together,legally, all while said same group of people doing the hating claim to be all about the Love? Really? For who? What club do people who Love each other have to be a part of in order to make all you fearful-of-everything-not-one-sided people see that gay marriage is NOT going to impact anyone in any way OTHER than that we will FINALLY have an entirely EQUAL SOCIETY?

Gay marriage is not only about a piece of paper, and surely it is not only about becoming equally human in the eyes of the world.

It is,very simply, about a group of people whose Love for each other being as big as that of a straight couple, and that is where the equality here counts. People who Love for real do so without blinders, without prejudice and without the thought in their heads that what other people think about them means anything when it comes to that Love between two people. No matter what anyone thinks of me after this, my position about this issue remains as it has always been.

So rather than continuing the madness of hating people who Love each other enough to marry, how about thinking about the last time that you were singled out and kept from something because of a reason that you had no control over? And no, no one turns gay…no one. There are no teen-aged people who would willingly be gay and at risk of being beaten to death by other teens. No one thinks about it that way. People want to believe that somehow, you turn gay, but you don’t. No one would volunteer to be someone else’s target.

Just like no one would volunteer to be someone else’s target, no one would choose to die unless they were already sick enough and going to.

Mind your own business. Let them marry. Love is not a sin.

Judging other people is – or did a whole lot of people who swear that book is the truth not think about that part, too?

I Love You All !!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Get a clue before you tell me to "bring it on" (18+)

“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”
(William Congreve)

It has happened again. Another carbon-based male gendered life form has yet said another vile thing and this time, that life form had the very audacity to tell me that it is the fault of Feminists…you know, people like me…that there has come the breakdown of the “nuclear family.” 

Folks, today I have some VERY strong words, not only for the carbon-based life form who said what was said to me, albeit in an email, but more, for the idea that men like that creep still exist and still believe that they have the right to talk about and to a woman as though we are…I AM…less than they are or he is – guess again, dude.

To the person who eluded these thoughts to me, the ones that made it as though the break down of the American family somehow is all the fault of the old version of the greatest phenomena in the world – feminism, I have this to say – GET A CLUE. Yup, I said – DEAL WITH IT ! 

First of all, there is no real man who is truly a man who does not appreciate a woman – ANY woman – and all for the simple fact that we replicate life…like, for real…(top that one, hero), and more than that, it is the opinion of this very opinionated (albeit…lol…quiet…whatever) writer on both a mission and in particular, today…on a tangent, that men and yes, women, like you, are the reason, not only for the breakdown of the American Family, but you people have brought a whole new level of stupid to the table. The fun part about it all is that it is not even a new version of stupid but the old worn out version of stupid that you are all trying to make fit into the Now…but you know the saying does indeed also remind us that “stupid is as stupid does,” and for me it is about time that I got really, really stupid up in here already, made some noise, gave a shout out to the rest of the surviving populace of the formerly victimized, and let it be known that for real, we are done with you and people like you.  Done.

You know….PAU HANA….

I’m a little bit pissed off. 

How the hell is it that a man – any man – believes that he can talk to a woman, tell her that her people are the reason that the world is a mess in so far as families are concerned, and still hope that he will get some action? I mean, really…are you sure, dude? Are you sure that women like me do not exist? How do you get laid, sir? Is it with that one type of women who you likened to a garden tool…because I am sure that those are the only ones who you have any sort of anything to do with (maybe…even they have standards and you are way substandard), and by the way – THAT is a part of the reason that the nuclear family has become a thing of the past. 

You see, idiotboy, it is because of the things that men …I mean the rare clueless carbon life forms who are just like you in their thinking…who are like YOU that the nuclear family is broken down. Before you say anything at all to any woman who you do NOT know about and who you think is the reason for the breakdown in society, my first thought is that you need to very dearly check yourself, because at least with the person writing this, you have already dearly, truly, seriously WRECKED yourself and no, it is not because I intend or even plan on doing anything more than venting my frustrations about shitheads like you any further than this blog post, and yup, I know…there are people who will read this who will not be okay with this and I tell you all this much…I do not care. I do not give a rat’s ASS about how anyone feels about what I have to say here, because it ain’t cool to try to keep a chick down, under there, beneath your thumb, (and of course, you know, between YOUR legs…) and I speak on behalf of ALL women who have been treated like I have been – VERY poorly by a whole lot of men who thought I might be that one who you could tame, could control, could make into a notch on your likely notchless belt….

It is not cool for anyone to think that it is cool to say things like that fool did and expect a feminist who is also very dearly intelligent, both intellectually and otherwise, to take your bullshit just like that and have nothing to say about it or your thinking…are you kidding me? Qui? MOI? Nah dude…you have met your match, but in equal opposite. I am as smart as you are stupid, and if you don’t like what i have to say to you, then you are just another bitch with nothing backing your play up other than a damned book that was not penned by the Almighty but by other dudes just like you. In case it is not apparent (it means obvious, dude) at this point…I am pretty mad about this…mad enough to let it go…my way, that is. 

 I could sit here and tell you all what was said, or I will sit here and tell you all what is in my mind about this sort of thinking, and what is in my mind about this sort of thinking is that while we home-wrecking feminists take it dearly on the chin, foolish men like the one I encountered yesterday – yeah, those guys…you know who they are- continue to spread their very nastiness to the masses. They are those ones who seem to believe that what they hear in the rap music lyrics about women being “bitches and ho’s” is somehow CORRECT! And it is these very same men who seem to think that a woman’s place is “in the home,” and what that is code word for is simple – the definition for “in the home” to a lot of men – namely abusers – is not literally in the actual home but more, under someone’s thumb.

I have news for those of you who believe this way still, and the news is grim. 

People who think like you are outnumbered. People who think that a woman has no right to be all she can be and people who think that we need to take five steps back and walk behind the guys forget that while we are back there we are figuring out a way to kick you in the balls from behind, because that is where you “people” keep on stabbing us in the back – FROM THE ASS END, and well, it is not that we are not going to take it anymore, because we stopped takin’ your crap a long time ago. It is more that we are out and about telling idiots like you that you are outnumbered, and you people don’t like it. We are not going to sit here idly, waiting for you to approve of us, waiting for you to pick us like so many boogers, as though that were some sort of prize. No, the women who you are seeking out, well, they do not exist, at least not to women like me, because those women…you know…the bitches and the whores who have wrecked the idea that we have to maintain the “nuclear family” that you morons seem to think you have somehow constructed…that there nuclear garbage has gone on long enough, because, and bear with me here, the term “nuclear family” denotes to the ears, eyes and everything else of a feminist, as not more than one more thing that any idiot with a penis and no brain would conclude – that some people believe that words and intentions are enough to keep a chick down.

That might be true for some women, but then you have the ones like me…you know…the ones who have evolved nicely like that apple pie you think your woman made for you…nah, dude – she wised up a long time ago, made a friend named “Sarah”(Lee), sat her ass down at the table in that place you think she belongs all the time, carrying your spawn and wearing no shoes and answering to you like you are somehow he who makes her who she is, and started thinking that you are wrong. Dude, you don’t…in fact, because of YOU TYPES, there is a break down in the “traditional nuclear family.” Let me tell you this much, and yep, I am about to be defriended and cussed out likely by a good many good …ahem…”good” yet HORRIBLY AND BLINDINGLY UNEVOLVED WOMEN – because it is not ME or women like ME who are the ones breaking down the idea that men put into place to keep women in our place but rather and only YOU who does this.

You have no right to tell us what we are going to do,and you have no right to call a chick out and expect that she will “fight” with you when she knows there is no way that you will win in a chick fight with a chick, but that you might win a bitch fight with one, because only bitches with male parts have all the balls but no brains in their heads to deal with a woman like myself. I am a handful. I am hard to deal with when it comes to pleasing me, and I make no secret of it. It is like this because I expect people who want to associate themselves with me to be somewhat like me, and when it is that people would sooner and likely do for themselves while trying to keep women in that place your father could not keep your mother in, you will surely find out that we are not scared of people like you – how can we be scared when we are way too angry?

We are angry that you have the nerve to call us out, but you have no proof to back your asses up with. We are angry that you continue to try to bully us, and you continue to do so without realizing that you are only making us right, only continuing to prove yourself wrong, and you are doing it and our bidding all on your own and without our having to ask you, so thank you very much for that because really, women like us have no time for fools like you. We have no time to deal with small-mindedness, and we have no patience for people who are more inclined to have intentions that are less than honorable and pure and involve the making right of the wrongest of wrongs there ever was, and all for what? 

Because a few men in ugly dresses wearing bad wigs and way too much rouge said, a long time ago, that women are meant to be traded, turned into property, made to still live in the energy of that which was. To those guys and that thinking I have to say you need to go and check your make-up, sir…maybe you should have those ho’s you keep likening all women to as being do your make-up next time you come to a chick fight. You’re a bitch. This is a chick fight and the ultimate of such, I might add.

…and of course, to all the real men…

To all those men who see to it that the women and girls in their lives are well cared for and about, you must know right now that there is no more valued a gift, in the eyes of an evolved woman, than that of an equally evolved  man.  You are the diamonds in the rough, and you are the art being created, not by us, but by you and according to the very idea that we deserve to be respected, that we are as good at what we do, biologically and otherwise, as what you all are capable of. 

Women like me want the men who are right in the mind to know that not all of us feminists are man-hating harpies. In fact, it was a wise man who told me, recently even, that “feminists are not man haters, but women supporters,” had it absolutely correct. Just because I fight for the rights of my daughter and her friends, my friends’ daughters and their friends, for every one of those awesome chick rockers whose careers I have the luck to be a part of, for the women who came before us who could not get this far in our progress because not a lot of progress was being made, and of course, to all those men who women like me LOVE to share our lives and our time with, on behalf of the women who have evolved to the point where we can truly call ourselves “right in the mind,” I give my heartfelt thanks.

Without guys like you, guys like those whose thumbs have a woman-shaped callous would still be the ones making lives like mine not possible. To all the men on this planet whom I Love, Adore, Share air and time with…mahalo nui loa…and of course, yes, you know it…I Love You…ALL of You!!

Aloha Oukou !!

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

You need to RECOGNIZE!

Don’t take for granted the idea that reciprocation won’t work because it does work

I am an independent worker, business owner, person. The entirety of my working life, at least the majority of it, in essence, deals mainly with creativity of thought and verse. While I remain independent as a worker and entrepreneur, my working life not only depends on who I connect with who, but more, who I remember to say “Thank You” to, and more, who I believe will reciprocate the effort of my promoting their work for them promoting mine as well.

Let us say that it is not easy work trying to get people even to listen to a band, let alone get them to want to like them, and more, to donate to their cause, and their cause is not just what you think it is. Their causes – ALL of them – is not only to be heard, but more, to build a relationship that is conducive to the growth, not only of their “cause” but more, of the energy behind that cause. My own cause, as it is already well known, is not only to help other independent artists like myself learn to organize their thoughts or think of them in a different way, my own cause is to, through sheer will and strength of personality, as well as a nod from the Cosmos and the Goddess of Female Business Ownership, bring communities of people together and the only way that I know to do that is to just “do the thing.”

Just do the thing already

We could all take the option to wait until someone else gives us a reason to do for others what others are clueless to doing in return. Yes, sometimes you, me, we all have to ask for the help, and sometimes it gets redundant and gets on your nerves that you are out there, in the world, helping other peoples’ causes and you are not being reciprocated for it. I know this animal because this is an animal which used to bite me in the okole all the time, and I found out not too far later and after the last episode of my being ass-hurt about it that the gift in the cause is NOT other people telling the world about our own stuff, but rather and only in the energy which is created behind that giving of our energy to someone else’s cause.

Simply put – if you want someone to do for you, then do for them. If they reciprocate, great, and if they don’t, still great, and still great because you know that you did what you did because you wanted to, because you wanted to put that really great and really true energy of manifestation in action to work for you. This, folks, is the reality of the Law of Attraction. The Universe is well aware of the fact that when we put our energies towards something and we do so with the thought in our heads that we are helping someone else reach their goals, we are also placing that energy dearly and truly toward our own. This is the reason that, if you looked at my Facebook Wall, you would see the evidence of this energy in action.

While I cannot say that the truth would be the same in reverse, I know that there are a few people on this planet for whom I would do anything for, and the reason being that I also know that they will reciprocate that energy in some manner. Take for instance, Dempsey’s Pub in Helendale, CA and The End of The Line Bar in Denham Springs, Louisiana.

Yes, my two best friends on this planet each work on opposite ends of the country, and yes, both women are tops in their trade as bartenders. Both bars boast a healthy variety of entertainment and live music (albeit  Dempsey’s musical entertainment program is on hiatus…band drama…it is the worst!) and both bars, in my opinion, do very well and it is not because I have anything to do with either of the bartenders who these establishments’ patrons love, but more because of the reciprocal energy that these two particular bartenders offer to their patrons. In that same manner, these two women also know that the mention of my name in regards to anything “music” also lends to the energy for me by them in that the shared Love between us all and is what we each know makes us all – not in our working lives but in our lives, period.

Yes, our customers and clients are important. Yes, establishments are in place because there are business owners who like owning businesses who we all share the air and the crust of the planet with. Yet, the truth is that anytime at all we see a business making a decent way in the world, you can GUARANTEE IT that within the structural composition of that establishment is someone in that place who dearly understands the way that reciprocal energies work. This is how The Sisterhood of The Soul Works, and also how Kindred Souls of the South works as well. We all know…all the women and healers of this bi-coastal healing ministry…that wherever we are, be it in a counseling role or perhaps as “back up” in some manner, it is the behind the scenes people who make things happen and not only the people in the foreground, not only the people in the limelight of things.

In the case of myself and those two bartenders, we have this art down to a science. We know, for sure, that if we put our energies behind a thing, regardless if the target of those energies is the reciprocating giver of that energy in return to us, we know that nothing other than good things can come from it. The trick behind using reciprocal energies behind ANYTHING is not the thought in anyone’s head that you will reap the harvest of the matching energies, but instead is the purity of intention behind the action. It is the thought that carries the energy and NOT only the actions. The actions, just like in life, always follow the thought or the word – like knowing that the outcome of “first you say it then you do it” is the absoluteness and the given thing after the fact provided that the energies behind our own thought and our own intention is absolutely pure. By absolutely pure I mean that our intention behind the thought – the energy behind the thought, that is – MUST be pure, without the idea within it that we will gain anything OTHER than the knowing that we have done something for someone else and that we knew at the very first inclination toward that action and that effort was NOT so we would get something of equal measure in return but only because we knew that what we give we will surely get in return.

It is time to RECOGNIZE!!

Luckily, for me, I can say, for sure, that when I do something for someone else, it is out of my own Love for that person and their dreams. I want other people to be happy, because being stuck on an island floating in the middle of nothingness with no other people who are happy would suck okole. It is difficult even being in a room with someone who is SO negative in their thoughts that to be around them feels like sandpaper on wet skin. These are the people who, for whatever reason they have to NOT at least recognize what you have done for them, no matter how small, I am so NOT writing about. These are the people who make energy workers like me and a whole lot of other entrepreneurs like us want to scream! (We light workers and energy workers ARE, after all, STILL composed of the same carbon materials as all other human like life forms…we are still human and still are prone to feeling like we have been taken for a ride from time to time and we are prone to our heads feeling like they may explode if we are not getting equal measure for equal time spent on other peoples’ stuff…just sayin’…)

When I say that it is time to RECOGNIZE I mean that it is time to think about the reasons that you are watching other people in your private circles making money, meeting new customers and making new contacts and why you are NOT doing the same thing. And, it is time to think, too, about your own intentions in regards to a thing that you Love and why it is that you Love it so much. In my world, I love to help other people, period. It is the reason that I took up studies in healing with several Spiritual teachers, and it is the reason that I have made it my life’s mission to help other survivors of Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse come back from that horror and rebuild their own inner lives and outer selves with my beloved Hula. It is why I draw to my life those people who help me, through their reciprocating energies, build my healing practice, my promotional activities, my marketing stuff…my writing my dancing my loving other people in my work…it is the reason that even as this might seem like a whole lot, it really isn’t and it isn’t because I have the good healing and growing energies other well intended people send to me, all the time, and it is this reciprocal energy that matters the most when we are thinking to build anything, including our working lives.

My thought at the end of this thought is very elemental …if you want something done, of course do it yourself, but do so in the manner that calls on the talents and the time and the effort in Love and Growth other people provide for us through their own efforts in the same things.

Using your energies to build instead of berate, to complement instead of take away from, to grow, with Love, alongside others who are of like mindedness with us. Use your energies wisely, like you do your money, and use your energies to help other people learn to use their own, and use your energies in a manner that what you flow out to the world, you will get in return.

Because you are, at all times, sending out this vibration of “This is what I need, so this is what I will give,” and if all you are giving people is a hard time, well…DUH !!!

Think about it….how are you going to expend your energies, folks? Will you rebuild, renew, reciprocate the good or will you go on to perpetuate that thing and those people who make you want to tear your hair out and rip them a new okole puka?

I Love You All!!

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

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Life hands us so many issues to deal with. If you find yourself buried beneath your own Self, it is time to get in touch with a healer. You can do that by clicking here and requesting a free first online meeting with one of the healers with The Sisterhood of The Soul or Kindred Souls of The South

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…come out and play…a message for the whole of us

It is time we remembered…

I have been at a loss for words as of late. MANY new things have happened, and those many new things have caused me to revert, but revert in a manner which reminds me of what I am here for.

I am here to do the work that my Soul intended to do, period. Lately we have all been on this …drama train…and it is time to get off already – off of the idea and the habit that what we do is who we are. This is the lie we are told from a young age, a lie that the masses have just bought into because it is the job they go to everyday which demands it. Yet, that job we go to each and everyday is not the entirety of us. In fact, that job that we each go to, at least for some of us, is meant as something of a catalyst for greater things to happen for us and those who we Love.

My Soul is Tired of just sittin’ around and wondering 

I am not the only one who this is the truth of. I like to tell people that “I have ten job, mon,” and today, that changed. Today, while I was sitting here writing something else that I didn’t really have the words for, I thought about the one thing that I love so much, that I have always loved, that I will leave this consciousness having used it as a vehicle for ministry, as a vehicle for healing, much as I have always done. Yes, I am talking about my dizzying, almost sickening love for Hula. Hula has been a part of my life for the last 40 years. I have been a student, a teacher, an admirer of this beautiful art form from the time I was 3 years old, and it never left me. The very idea of my life NOT including hula in some way is not even thinkable, can never be the truth of me because as long as I live and I breathe, there will always be this dance in my life. So long as I live and breathe, so, too, shall this art form, Hula, also live and also breathe.

But Hula is not what I am talking about, at least not for the entirety of us. For some of us their hula is sports, and while others, art, and for many, many more, music, and it is held within these activities, the seeds that we must plant, not for the benefit of others, but for our own benefit. The thing that I am talking about is that one thing that makes you Love You. I Love Me because I Am Me, and it took other people to show me these things. There are lots of people who are crying at the moment, and I am sure that I will shed a few tears myself here soon. I am weary. I miss my Hula, the dancing part of it, the group dancing part of it. I miss sharing it and giving it, and I miss it being one part of my Soul that is the Heart of me. It is like any other hobby is for anyone else. Some play music. Some play sports. Some draw or paint, train animals, ride dirtbikes, shoot guns, grow gardens…these things that we each do…right now is when we should be doing them. Right now.

I think my point today is that what we used to do for fun we have been told we should forget about because it cannot be done for profit. For a long time I was told that hula was not a good idea because the money was not that great, and for a long time I believed that lie, or at least my ego believed it, and for a long time I did not have a class to teach, and for a long time I was sad even though I did not realize that I was sad. I was sad because I turned my beautiful dance into something that it should not have ever been. I turned my love of my culture, my deep seated pride in who I am into a profit thing, and for as long a time, I danced alone.

I learned that I needed to choose what it was that I loved to do for pay versus what I love to do for me. There are MANY things, many people who I love and work a whole lot with, and those things that I do are for profit. While the profit margin might not be great at the moment, it is in manifest. We all know this, that it is in manifest, and we are all in a concerted effort, all of us, singly but together, to build this alliance meant to bring music to the masses, and we are doing a great job at it. Yet in the excitement that is the newness of the beginning of something so big and so phenomenal, we were all going at full speed and not one of us thought for a moment that we would eventually have to come back to the other stuff that is equally as important as is this music stuff that we all so very much Love. I can know that as a dancer, while I can dance to the beat of the shimmying that is the song of an unbalanced laundry load, there is nothing quite as sweet as the very tiny silence that comes between the notes of a song.

It is in the silence that we find our own golden nature, and the silence where we anticipate that next beat. It is in the silence that is the treasure of fully being in the moment, and for that one very moment, Living and breathing and Loving Life and Loving Your Own Life and going back one year to the date and thinking about just how much is so, so different now than it was just one year ago today. And then, when the next note hits your ears, it is a golden moment, because now you are thinking back or maybe thinking still about not answering “what if?” but “why not?” and the music plays on and on….

I thought about it today, as I did some stuff for everything that I do, and talked and texted and chatted with all the people who I teach ways of Spirit, then the people whose music I help get heard, then the photographers, the other writers, and then when I thought about the people who I have danced hula with, it was good. For some it was the chance to see what it was all about, and for others it was another way to get in shape, and for the rest of us it was a way to connect with our shared Na Mamo heritage…

….and for us all it was just…cool. It was just cool. Hey guys…I Know that the ENTIRETY of the planet is on this …high…this great high vibration of energy that is Peace and Joy and of course, of Love.

When getting your groove back in the world, and while setting down roots in the lives of the people who we each birth new things and work together to bring to life this vision that is shared, we must remember, too, that while these are all marks of similar souls coming together to work in unison and with the Spirit of Lokahi, there is that part of each of us that is begging to be seen, to be remembered and most of all, begging to Know who it is again.

So, hey…yeah…come out and play…

I Love You All!
Aloha Oukou

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

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We All Need Help Sometimes

No matter what, all of us needs a little hand up from time to time

Every single one of us has had the experience of something that we did on our own being done to completion and to the best of our own abilities. We have all had times in our lives when we were working on something by ourselves and the end result came out better than we thought it would, and this is especially true for those of us who have been told for the bulk of our lives that we did a good job, but….


It is a slap to the face of our own achievements when we know we are good at what we do and when it is that we know that the projects we are working on are just like the ones that we have worked on in the past, and this time, it seems like something is just not right. We look and look and look at what we have done, and on the face of things what we accomplished looks right but there is something missing. Some of us will look to our peers for their opinion, but there are others of us who prefer to not, and it is because of our ego, our pride, and most of all, because of that part of us within us that has not yet been fully parented to the point that we can deal with the things that come with that energy that makes us feel like we are a little kid again. And that little kid again feeling is not a mistake – truly, when we think about it and looked at the issue at hand and pondered the way that we have handled such a thing in the past, and when that thing and the outcome of it all leaves us wanting for more, this is when the child within begins to have a tantrum, or begins to have their feelings hurt, begins to think and believe that we are not good enough.

It is the petulant child within who keeps us wearing our rose colored glasses, and it is the crying child within who wants to please everyone and make things right, and at the same time, it is the child within who, even as they know it is wrong to, has a big fat ugly tantrum and not because of anything more than frustration, and that is where frustration is borne – within. In fact everything starts there, because that is where our creative nature is – within us and squarely in the hands of the child within us. The child within us is that part of us that is vulnerable, that still has an imagination, still hurts from the old hurts that were brought to us when we were really a little child, and still feels like they must defend themselves against the world, and sometimes, even ourselves.

The child within behaves like a child because somewhere in the course of our lives, we were hurt, our feelings not thought about, and no one made it right. When we are little kids, we don’t know or believe that people are bad unless we have been shown so. The first time that one of our adults does or says something to us that is hurtful, we do not forget. We hurt and we are in pain from it, and it stay with us for a long time until one day we realize that whatever was said or done cannot be undone, that we cannot go backwards, and that all we can do is take from that energy the lesson that was not apparent until now, when we are adults and in our lives, whether it is our work life or our private life, that one part of us that never was acknowledged behaves like a tiny little version of ourselves. My tiny little version of me who has a big mouth, who can throw way gnarlycoolbitchen tantrums, who is prone to trying to one up other people no longer has these issues, at least not as prominently as I did in the past, even as recent as a year ago to the date.

As I recall the events, all of the things that I have done for myself this past one year, all of the things that I have gladly, cheerfully and willingly done for the people in my life, I find that even though there were things that I got through all by myself, there were other, bigger and more important things that I got through, other things that I really wanted to do as far as my life as a Spiritual Coach were concerned, my life as a music promoter, author, speaker, whatever…my life with me as all the little parts that I play everyday of my life that would not have happened had I not both realized and accepted that while I knew that I could do things on my own, there will always be those times in my life, in all of our lives, that we cannot do it on our own.

Sometimes, we need to call on our Tribal Ohana…

Sometimes, we need other people’s help. There is nothing that anyone can tell me that tells me otherwise. When we have big dreams and big goals, while it is that the right and the ability to say “I did it all on my own, ” is a wonderful thought indeed, the reality is that the bigger the dream, the bigger the amount of help we need to seek out. And we will always be sent help. If we are pure in our intentions, and we want to do what it is that we want and what we want benefits the greater good of the whole, helps with the intention becoming manifest, and most of all, helps to teach the lesson that we are meant to learn, Spirit will not NOT help us in the form of the right people, put in place at the right time, and at that point when we see it all gelling together in our minds the way that we can also physically see it all gelling in our reality, we know for sure that all that time we spent trying to prove that we didn’t need anyone and we went ahead and took the help offered us that had we just thought about the largess of the dream, thought about all the technicalities and legalities and all of the other things that we don’t bother with anyway, and if we accepted the fact that maybe our own lives are too busy for us to make this happen all on our own, we might not be in the messes that we find ourselves in more than we care to.

Sometimes, we need to call on our Tribe, on our Ohana, and sometimes, if we do so with a heart filled with joy for the task at hand, with a Spirit that is joyful at the idea that we are creating something grand and gorgeous and way way cool, not only for us, but for everyone else, too, we find out that even as it is great to take credit, it was not the credit, not the outcome, only, but the journey there. In each of our lives, and even as we do not travel our Paths alone, it is the journey which each we are on which matters. Contained within all of those things that irritate us, that make us nutty, that we form a harsh opinion of, we find out who our Tribe is, who are our Ohana, and when it is that we have taken a little bit of guidance of our own ‘Aumakua, when we are more able to deal with our own human being-ness, and when it is that we are willing to allow Spirit in so that we can let doubt, out, this is literally when the fun starts.

I hear that it is not fun trying to be in control of everything, and these days anymore I can say that I would not know what it is like to be in control of every little thing around me. That takes up too much time, too much precious Soul energy, and mostly, it takes away the fun element of anything at all. Trying to be in control of everything, just so that we can take credit for it all only mars our souls because it is not the Soul within us all that is needy for the props and the pat on the back, but more, it is the ego, the part of us that tells us that we need to do something about what someone else said, and it is that part of us that tells us that whatever someone else did, we can do better, and it is that measure of control that we do not have that compels us to have control in another way that makes it seem as though all those years, everyone else was right. Everyone else was right when they told us that in order to compete, we need to live up to a set of standards and rules that we ourselves did not create. Then one day, after all of our hard work and our blood, our sweat, our tears, went into a project that looked complete but didn’t seem that way, we chose to think on our own behalf.

We went outside of the bounds of the Ego, addressed the child within, embraced the child and shunned the Ego, and found out that we were safe and Loved the whole time, and that it is not a bad thing to call on our Tribe for help.

When we find that we are good on our own but that with the help of others, while never saying or believing that we were too weak or stupid to do it all on our own, that we can be better with the help of those whose Love for us is as big as is the project at hand, Life becomes like that famous box of chocolates…you never know what you will get until you try .

So try. It won’t hurt. I promise.
Your family, friends and coworkers will gladly add to the Love…

Aloha Oukou…I Love You All!!

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

We have a little bit o’ this and a little bit o’ that!

…because the Lady (Spitfire)…she requires your presence!
Aloha …with an Attitude…
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Intention is everything…seriously…

“Wow I want my life to really be hard” said no one EVER

We are so good at drawing situations to our lives which suck that I just felt like this should be the thing that I write about today. And mind you, when I say “situations,” I mean with people…and yes, you are included in the energy, no matter what it is or where it originated from.

No, there are not a whole lot of people who I know these days who suck, but there are those few who, no matter how many coaching sessions we go through, no matter how much hula I teach them, no matter how many times I do anything considered “Spiritual” with them, nothing seems to pan out for them and it is all due to that part that exists in us all called intention. NOW, there are a lot of things that I say that are meant in jest, and there are more things that I tell people in need of a Soul session that people cannot wrap their very heads around. And it is not their fault. I am finding out these days that I know, whenever I look back to these last 5 years, where it was that my own intention was a little bit “off,” and it was a little bit “off” because of me – that’s right, I said it…ME, just as much as things sucking in your life are all due to YOU and your thoughts and more, your intentions.

Thoughts are things…

Yeah yeah yeah…you have heard it a million times by now, that the Law of Attraction works for everyone, and it does, but not everyone pays attention to just how it works.Essentially it is the energy, also known as the ‘vibration’ we each emit through the energy of thought. When our intention, or thought, about a thing, is pure, it is a guarantee that what you want, bearing in mind that the thought about what you want has to be PURE, will be what you get, or it will be better than what you want. Yes, confusing, a little bit, but only because our human brains cannot fathom just how it is that these thoughts end up being things. (That is what I and many others refer to as “the how” of a thing…meaning “how are we gonna get that super cool and groovy thing we saw that we so totally want?”…the how is not yours to deal with …that is the challenge – trying hard NOT to obsess about “the how about a thing)

So let’s get that part very dearly and squarely cemented into your own thoughts right now – THOUGHTS ARE THINGS, and if you want proof, grab a pen and a piece of paper and write out the first thought in your head, read it out loud, and then feel the paper in your hands…this is called “Instant Manifestation,” because quite instantly, you turned your thought into a tangible, readable thing. While it might not be the actual thing you are intending, it is really and truly the thought you just wrote out that counts. My proof is that you wrote it. Put it somewhere because it now symbolizes your power of manifestation. While it is a tiny little manifestation, it is, none the less, a manifested thing. You had the thought, wanted to see the thought, wrote the thought down and BANG ! Proof that thoughts really are things.

Another way to look at things

When we think in terms of raising our own vibration, we want to believe that it is somehow a big fat ugly thing where we will have to light candles and pray to the deities of clue gettin’, but the reality that is raising one’s vibration is as simple as the explanation for what true Ho’oponopono is. Very simply, when you think of good things, remember that physical feeling, because the secret to “The Secret” really is just that simple.
What is not simple is learning to turn our thoughts from negative to positive and trying hard to remain at that same level of energetic vibration. This is the truth, and I know it is the truth, because I employ Melody Fletcher’s techniques and have been for a while now and her’s is the only explanation of “The Secret” that more than only I understand.

Yes, just like “learning” the Ancient art and practice of Ho’oponopono is just that simple, so, too, is learning to use the Law of Attraction. In learning to use the LOA, just like practicing Ho’oponopono in daily working and private life, we have to think about how ancient both principles each are and the challenge is NOT in the learning of it, but in the changing our own thoughts and beliefs to match the vibration of our thoughts. It sounds simple, but it takes a lot of practice to unlearn all that we have been taught from a young age. It takes time to go out into the world and pay attention to the things happening in our lives and it takes someone with a sharpened sense of awareness to see the things in life that change…and those changes come in the form of new work or a brand new job in a field that we are not familiar with, comes in the manner that is the surprise new friend who seems to be able to complete your sentences, comes in the way that is your niece telling you “Auntie…no pay fo’ learn Ho’oponopono…gimme your new email address and I will send you what I have used for the last almost ten years to ‘teach’ this practice…”

Our intentions manifest in the manner which our energy assigns and not ONLY what our thoughts are. Our thoughts are what energize us, good or bad, and proof is that sheet of paper I mentioned and suggested that you write your immediate thought down on, because again – it is the proof that anyone will need that indeed, our thoughts are things and whatever are our intentions with those thoughts will end up being our reality.

When we are ready and willing to accept that our thoughts and intentions brought us that awesome new job, those really great coworkers, that label deal, that airtime on the radio, that (fill in the blank with GnarlyCoolBitchen thing here)…and more, when we are ready to take on the Kuleana, the Soul’s Responsibility, for all of the things that we do not want to see in our lives…this is when we know for sure that intention is a serious tool and that it is no joke. It is not magic. It is not anything that the entirety of us does knowingly. It is not something that we are not all already able to do.

Remember that the next time the new guy at the water cooler tends to irritate you. It will be at that same time that you will recall yourself speaking the words “I wish I had an assistant,” and were not totally clear on the intention….look at who you ended up with!

It totally works…so long as you totally understand HOW it works. Once you master that one thought that tells you that you really are a masterful creator of your own life, the rest, even in the seemingly worst of times, is easy as changing your mind…no, really…

As always….

Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui  healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking  speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved

We have a little bit o’ this and a little bit o’ that!
Lady Spitfire on


R3 and Natasha Head…proof that “Jersey Shores” is 
SO NOT THE TRUTH of people from Jersey!!
Please! Check out “PULSE” and Natasha’s author profile at

Gettin’ Married?
Got Life Stuff that’s buggin’?
I’m pretty sure I can help you either way !

What about YOU???

…yeah…what about YOU?

All of us were taught from a very young age to be kind to others, to do for others, and to be there no matter what. Yet, there comes a time when, in all of our lives, we need to just do like I have been saying for a long, long time – “to grab your hali’i and just chill.” But we as a whole were never taught to just chill. Instead we were trained to believe that it is a lazy person who takes the day off and that it is the lazy AND selfish person who does so – takes the day off, no, not from living but from living for the idea that we are here specifically to do good things for other people and never believing that we also need for ourselves to do good things for us – are you not also human?

Last time I checked….

Last time we all checked…

Think right now about the last time that you offered to do something for someone else…ask yourself who exactly that action was being taken on behalf of. Refresh your own memory and think really hard about the thought that was in your head at the very moment you decided that whatever it was that you were doing was being done out of the kindness of your heart and soul, and then ask yourself why it is that each time you think about that one thing, you end up feeling dragged down and tired. I will tell you why in a minute, and yes, absolutely, it has everything to do with that emotional line of credit you keep extending to you, but it is not really for you, and when anyone is willing to go into any kind of debt, always, always, always, the risk must be dealt with not only because of what we stand to lose through that line of credit, but more, what we are not putting ourselves into emotional debt for on behalf of ourselves. This is not saying that you need to go above and beyond what is normal, but this is what I witness a whole lot of us human type folks doing.

We extend more to others without thinking that maybe we need to be as kind to our own Self as much as we are willing for others, and a lot of it is all because of what we learned as children. What we learned as children is and always has been open to scrutiny as we grow, is always open to a little bit of modification because the truth is that what applied when we were children will not technically and mechanically apply as adults even though, paradoxically, it totally applies. The way it was all taught to us is different than the way that we each learned each lesson, and the way that we carried out that knowledge (which stayed as Knowledge and did not become Wisdom until much later) was through trial and error. Through trial and error we also find out just how far our ego is willing to let us keep going before we find out that we are at the very beginning of a circle that we created, a long, long time ago, before anyone including ourselves was old enough to vote, and that while some of the circles meet fully and surprisingly awesome, there are those circles where even while we do not know it, see it or believe it, we have overextended that emotional line of credit.

I see a lot of us extending our graciousness without ourselves in mind, and yes, there are people who do things out of the very kindness of their hearts and souls, and these are the people about whom those like me who teach Soul Healing to others worry the most, because these sorts do not realize that they are not doing anything for themselves in a spiritual sense when they extend and expend themselves to the furthest degree they can, and more, they do not realize the detriment caused to their very selves when they do this. We all do this, and more often than not it takes someone else with the eyes which see the remnants of the Soul to reach on in and retrieve for them the truth that is “Hey man…it is great that you love so many people so, so much…but what about you? What have you done for yourself today? Why have you not given YOU the breaks and the credit that you are willing to extend to other people, and why is it that you are not putting at least a little bit of yourself aside for yourself?”

A Little Bit for Your Self

Referring back to the truth that we were all taught to do for others, to do unto others, to give up more than we need to, so that we could feel better and know that we did something selflessly for someone else, the onus in this thinking is that we really need to be selfless and without thoughts for ourselves that we need as much Love and care as does anyone on this earth does, and more than we know and care to think, we end up at a deficit, hurting inside, and most of the time it is due to a lack of communication.

By a lack of communication, it is not only the actual non-verbalized communication, but the clarity with which we all try hard to strive to achieve. It is frustrating when we ask for the issue to be fleshed out, and then when we still cannot understand or wrap our minds around the longer, scenic route version of the issue, we get upset, and it is when we get upset that we really need to stop ourselves quickly, take a step or two backward in our minds, just for a moment, peruse the thoughts there about the thing at hand and seek out the thing that is making us crazy. When we locate it, normally, it is not even what we first thought it would be and is usually comprised of more than only one “thing” that we ourselves might not even understand, even though, ethereally, we asked for that one specific thing. The understanding of that one thing, however, is a completely different animal all together.

If it is that a certain energy or situation has invaded or remains to invade your life at present moment, it is very simple – it needs some attention.

It needs some attention

When an issue needs some attention, it is not that we are not able to deal with it, but more that we are not prepared to look at it, let alone deal with it. The reason that we prefer not to look at it is not because of anything other than that the amount of work on the Self is needed is huge in our eyes, and we do not like working on ourselves, because that means that what we cannot see what others can see and that which frustrates and confuses us the very most is also the very thing in our lives that we need to give some attention to. When other people come into our lives we are given a mirror and somewhat of a clue as to the things that invade us daily, and those things are brought to us through other people. We are each others’ mirrors, and what we see in our mirrors can never lie to us – we have to be willing to eat it all- the good, the bad and of course, the ugly, and deal with it and not have to never have the option to NOT deal with it.

This is where the challenge lies, folks – not in the saying or even the acknowledgement of a thing, but in the thought that we alone are who needs to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. It is a challenge for our minds to take in, absorb, think about, and of course, believe that who we are, in a few ways, is not everyone’s most favorite flavor, so to speak, and who we are in relation to who other people are is not controlled by us and will never be controlled by us, and this in and of itself is a challenge to accept. When we think about our having a particular way of being or belief about us, and we believe that no one else will take us as being serious about a thing – this is when, and yeah – I AM telling you this so that you will be able to recognize it and go within to fix it – we really, dearly need to think about the actions which followed the words we spoke. Words are very powerful. Words have changed the lives of millions of people all within the strum of an accompanying guitar, the prose which is contained in a handwritten letter, the characters on the screen in front of you. All these things are methods of words being communicated, of energy being sent out and if the words and energy all fit nicely, the end result which is hopefully the thing that we needed so that our lives will not be so, so itchy in the brain anymore, or at least less than previously.

The End Result is really a beginning

When we are able to think differently about a thing than we have in the past, and when we can accept that this new thought is likely the best way to think about a thing, this is when the ease of weight on our shoulders begins to lift. It is almost as though we have been given a new toy by thinking new thoughts. And really, they are not new thoughts, but rather thoughts that have been reworded and thoughts that make us want to try a new way of being, so as not to go through the pain of it all again and again. When we are willing to only see from our own eyes, the benefits included in hopefully helping other people becomes void because the reality is not that we did anything for others so as to look good ourselves, but because we expected the outcome we saw in our heads as being the only one that would happen. We did not leave open the idea or the possibility that maybe Spirit has a better idea and that yes, some of the work that we have to do is not the accepting that others will feel differently, but that we might not.

When we do things for the benefit of others, and only others, and we think that we are doing it for anything other than that, and we find ourselves jacked up at the end of it all, it is our Kuleana, our responsibility to our very selves, to see to it that we have no reason for that same pain to revisit our lives anymore without our inviting it in. Anger is pain caused by hurt, and hurt detriments into whatever is the energy of the moment, which is another reason that I am always telling people to be careful of the words they speak and write, because those words are more powerful than any one of us knows, and the power is all ours – this is the part that we do not understand. We do not understand the power of our own words as they land into the ears of others, and we have no idea how to clarify ourselves once something has been misread. Unclear thinking makes things difficult and when situations are already difficult, and we see what we see and hear what we hear, we must think to ourselves how we might make it so that we will not see these things, these happenings in a way and from the point of view of others only. We have to also include ourselves.

All Truths apply to all people. People hurt, and people do foolish things, say foolish things, have foolish thoughts, and through it all, we usually forgive, even though we do not forget, the pain caused in us but not really meant to be something hurtful, even though in our intention was pure and was intended to help another person through their own stuff. When we are asking for peace and forgiveness, we are more prone to do what we think others need, and so we proceed, again, to follow our own thought and perhaps even starting the new cycle with the old situation that keeps coming back again and again. If you feel like you have been running and going no where, check yourself.

Think about this for a minute and maybe it will clarify for you a little more the gist of this writing…

If these truths apply to other human beings, Loves, why would they not also be the truth of you?

Aloha Oukou….I Love You All !!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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