Monthly Archives: June 2017

What you cannot see, know, or hear : Some Words About Your Currently Tumultuous Life


We who inhabit Planet Earth, at this time, are finding out that life, at this present moment, is quite tumultuous. Here are some words to explain what you are going through lately.


According to Websterʻs Dictionary, it means “a state of commotion, excitement, or violent disturbance.” 

Right now, and I can state this as being the truth and also as being the common thing among human beings on the planet – life, right this moment, for a lot of us, feels very harsh. Lots of us cannot figure out what it is that we did so wrong that would cause all of these things to happen in our lives. Many of us are experiencing changes that we never thought would be part of our awareness and neither that which we call “daily life.”

This is not something that I care to much trifle with outside of the idea that this is being written with the idea in mind that no one knows, really, what is going on in the minds of others, let alone the lives of others, but, here we are, none the less, surviving this crap everyday.

But we want to live, donʻt we??


Of course, and this will strike a few of my regular readers a bit…oddly..but, this turmoil we each are experiencing is living, or, at least is building it to be that thing that we call “living well.”

Reread that if you must, if for nothing more than to simply have a shot at wrapping your head around the idea that you are here, in this body and on this plane for a specific purpose. That specific purpose is tied directly and intimately to the turmoil that you are going through right now. The turmoil, even as much as it hurts and sucks, is meant to polish the each of us so as to ready us for the thing that we were meant to do in this lifetime whilst traipsing the planet as humans. You do not have to believe me but, from the research that I, myself, am constantly conducting in the realm of human thought as it pertains to Spirit and ethereal “stuff,” the only thing that I can see and sense, with all of this…huge change..happening, is that we are being primed for the reality that we are creating through this crap.

The reality that we are creating through all the crap

Letʻs play with a few thoughts here, shall we?

Letʻs pretend that you have this dream life that you have seen in your thoughts for years and years, and that you could only see the end result of what you want to happen.

Now letʻs pretend that for a very long while of your being in your body and things being lovely for years and years and then one day the shit begins to hit the fan. Suddenly those things that were there and common and everyday in your own life are no longer there, no longer common and no longer everyday things that happen. In fact, some of those things that are happening you are not able to figure out how, and more – why – with everything that you have done in your life for other people – how could things be as shitty as they have been for the last….I donʻt know…on the whole – say…five years, in the collective sense.

Understand that within that five years is also contained the fact that there have been people who have been going through things for, on average, two years, before they finally begin to have the strength to at least look at what is possible in all of the chaos. Understand, too, that if you are not aware of your own evolution, and not at least savvy to the idea that everything, including you , evolves, then you really need to pay attention LOTS more. In fact, there are a lot of us who are, right now, unable to understand why it is that the things that you are going through are so very painful. That is because you were given this opportunity to make things right, in terms of realigning your soul with your purpose, and in doing so, all of the lessons that you either ignored in the past, or, perhaps the ones that you are meant to learn in the future – all those things are coming in to your life so that you can prepare for the next level of living.

As much as that does not make sense – that we have to go through some shit just so that we donʻt have to offer ourselves up to the gods and goddesses of bullshit (theyʻre actually called “lessons”) – when it is explained in a more detailed way and even though some of us cannot see past the thing that we are going through, many more of us, even as we, at first, may be confused by this – think in terms of things “coming out in the wash,” or perhaps like a child who has outgrown his or her favorite clothes. While we know that we loved those things and those ways of being, we also know that at this very moment in time, in comparison to who we each were just those short five years ago….we each have grown in the soul, enough to have to experience some discomfort in our lives, sometimes to the point of what we call “insanity.”

Yet, when we think about it, life, itself, is a maddening thing. It is not a game, even as it feels like it is, from time to time and more now lately than in the past – it is a challenge.

We were not ever made to think any other way than that.

Sure, some of us humanoids have it kinda easier than it appears the rest of us do, but that means that they either have not yet begun to go through what I can only call their “upward spiral that must first start downward,” or, they are already done going through it. You will recognize these people almost immediately once it is that you have read through this writing more than only one time. You can sense their calm, even though you can also sense their erratic inner lives. You can see the pain on their faces, as much as you can also see the sense that everything is going to be okay – we just have to brace ourselves a little bit longer and by the time all these turmoils have been seen to and dealt with, we will not realize that the reason for the turmoil was to actually help us get to being who we truly are.

If all this sounds like nonsense, ask yourself if you have ever been in the situations that you are finding yourself in these days, and ask yourself if you are more aware now (you might call it guardedness) and ask yourself if truly, even though back there was lots easier, would you be able to look back there, given that ease, and through recalling what it was that was your turmoil then, and the very turmoil that spawned this current energy of it – given all of the people who you have met and who have, even for a split second, changed your thought about any one thing at all, and now you are far wiser because of that – would you be able to trade all of the wisdom that you have created for yourself, all of the people who are now nearer and dearer to you than lots of others who pretended to be there for you in the past….would you be able to say goodbye to them, knowing that you are just outside of comfort, and that the only thing left is to see things in two ways: a physical reality, as well as a spiritual knowing?

Yeah…me, neither.

I could not, would not, cannot even dream to be who I was five years ago. I cannot be that scared person again, too afraid to fail better than I have in the past. I cannot be that woman who took orders from other people just to keep herself safe and what little of her sanity was left, in full tact. I cannot be that person again, because that person does not fit into my life right now. That person was too emotionally attached in a very bad way to a bad person who only recently was I able to make it known to him that for years, he made it so that I was the one who would take the fall for every sin he committed against me, personally, in the form of domestic abuse.

I cannot be that person again, because that person is not the one with the higher sense of integrity, and that person is not able to see beyond the tangible to the spiritual reason as to why that person did not survive the change which spawned the growth and produced this me.

That Person in Your life…

The one thing that no one tells us about, when we are younger and when we are learning to be our highest best selves is that there are three ways of becoming wise:

1 – Hard Knocks (and they will continue to happen til we learn from them)

2 – We gain insight (but this is after we have gone through a series of harsh stuff)

3 – It comes naturally, because we chose, all at one time, to do both 1 and 2

Further, the other thing that I have become aware of is that there are three ways that we are given this wisdom, and of the three, only one of them truly helps us evolve:

1 – We are taught how to pay attention

2 – We are told how to pay attention

3 – We learn to pay attention

Paying attention….it is a learned thing, really

The one thing that I have noticed over the years is that when someone else is successful at doing something, they believe that we are all going to be as successful at that very same thing. This is not the truth. We learn differently, meaning that when we perform what it was that we learned how to do, we are not going to do it in any other manner than the way which we learned how to. Recently I had a conversation with someone who I thought we were way closer than I found out that we were. If it is that that person wants to not talk to me anymore, that is fine – that is her choice to make.

However, what I got from that conversation, and a conversation that has stayed with me since it happened, was that the truth of humanity is that we expect what we do and what is successful for us to work for everyone. This, again, is not the truth. When it was presented to me in the manner that it was, which was to question my motives and not bother with the methods that my condition will currently allow, I began to, at first, argue back. Then within a very few short moments, instead of lambasting that person, I chose to question them. This is likely the reason that she and I are not talking – because one of us is still trying to rectify what the other said and that was the truth. I am not stating that what that other person said was a lie. What I am stating is that the way that she learned, which was very abusive on the part of the people who were teaching her how to be herself (and up until lately, did a very poor job at it) is not the same way that I learned what was going on at those times in our lives when we were, at the same time, presented with things that our own minds, at the young ages that we were, could not wrap themselves around.

Let it be well known, right this moment, that what is perceived in some cultures as being discipline is often times abusive in another one. When it is that the perception of that discipline is understood by the person who it was enacted upon, no matter how long ago it was done to them, that personʻs perception, unless and until they have something that counters that memory – that person is ALWAYS going to go back to the last good thing in their head that worked.

I donʻt know about anyone else, but, the last thing that anyone “formerly abused” needs to do is believe that they are going to be able to understand how one personʻs method of healing is self-taught, and anotherʻs, taught by someone else and namely through violent means.

Where we go wrong as humans is believing, again, that the way that we did something is going to be the same way that other people do things and that those things and methods and ways of being and doing work for everyone and the truth is that they might not work at all and in some cases, like my own, may make things much worse. To expect someone else to do things any way but their own is not only wrong, but it has the capacity to wreck them further.

The other problem with this is that we live in a world where people are already fake enough, already trying to pass off on others the idea that what we are doing is the best model and method, because what we did and worked for us…we assume will work for all others, as well and just as well as it did for us. What we do not think about is that we are each and all different, and what may work for one of us will not, no matter how much we try to make those things work – do anything for us, at all. It will cause us more frustration, and will cause us not only to question what we are doing, but also who we are for real.

Who we are for real is not dependent upon what other people tell us. Who we are rests neatly and squarely on our own shoulders. Yet, sometimes, and with certain people, that message falls upon deaf ears, because yeah – no one wants to think about their successes not being the thing that can be the downfall of anyone else. You cannot expect that others will have the same results that you did. The other thing that makes me really wonder why it is that people will talk to life coaches and then when it comes to the point where the things that the coach taught them is not being retained, that client blames the coach.

The reason that I believe those things fail is not about the coach, and has everything to do with how we each and all respond to negative energy.

Negative energy is that thing we all try to avoid, but in that avoidance we are robbing ourselves of the ability to get through things that inevitably happen to all human beings, no matter what. We are here to learn, not only to be taught, and we are here to tell our story, not only be told what it is by witness of other people. We each and all are very different from one another. The expectation that we are, on our own, going to be able to handle what comes our way and using someone elseʻs methods rather than realizing that they are telling us that they have gone through the same thing for the simple purpose of allowing us to know that by our own witness account, things do get better.

We just have to remain open in the awareness that is currently ours and respond, rather than react to it all. The only one way to do that is to learn from the past, the same things that are presented to us each and all now, and remember that we are the ones who are meant to shine through that turmoil, the ones who are meant to stop the tumult by our own creative nature and through knowing, rather than only believing in our own selves, that what we are experiencing and also witnessing is our lives unfolding before our eyes.

Do not be too sure that this…turmoil…is here forever, because it is not. It is here long enough for us each and all to learn how to deal with it so that we can get through it, not only this time, but every time that happens in the future. Forget about all the well-meaning words of advice and think for yourself, using those words of advice only as a reference to your own self-taught and learned manners and ways of being. Do not bother with the things that worked for anyone else UNLESS you are talking about things in the tangible world that are here and already exist and need the human touch to be repaired instead of the ethereal touch that allows us to heal.

We are souls contained in bodies. We are meant to be here, learn who we are, become who our purpose and mission needs us to be. We do not know what our place is until we have gone through some shit. Right now, we are going through shit on the collective level, telling me that there is a lot of stuff that people have hung on to for whatever purpose it was that they chose to. That is no oneʻs judgment to make on them. We all handle our shit our own way, once we understand that it is the only way that is going to work for us at the personal and singular level.

Much of the self-work going on at this time in our lives is meant to take place, at the level of being that it is taking place, and all because we are being readied for our next level of living and life, which is all and only good, based on the level of crap that we have, as a collective whole, had to endure over this last decade.

Just remember that you are not perfect, that your way is the only way that is going to work for you, specifically, and that trying to make everyone else happy is never going to happen because we cannot keep the entire world happy so long as there are lessons to learn by every single one of us on this planet. So, since it is that this lifetime and every lifetime can be thought of as a school for learning, always assume that you are learning something about you, about your purpose, about who it is that you are meant to teach, to learn from, and to help heal themselves as well as you are doing for you, right in this tumultuous moment and every other one, as well….

Ask yourself, the next time you have the thought in your head the reason why it is that we seem to continue doing the maddening thing of repeating our actions in hopes that those actions will take away the lesson that we are here to learn? What is it in that particular set of actions caused by a particular set of thoughts that any one of us will continue to think is the truth that has not changed, even though we know that with all else that has changed, this, whatever this would be, is also subject to change and the likelihood that it has already changed and you are not yet seeing that it has?

What, my friends, is it that you are learning right this moment that is able to help you understand your own personal turmoil?

Turmoil is the hint.

Life is the teacher….and the lessons learned are ours to share with the world, once it is that we have become, ourselves, the teacher as well as the student.

Aloha Mai E



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