Monthly Archives: October 2012

No Matter What, Everything Happens How It Is Meant To

If something is supposed to happen, it will just happen

Right now, right at this present moment in time, there is much afoot in the cosmos.

Whatever it is that has been the wish of your own Soul and whatever it is that is right and good for each of us is what is materializing now. All that time that we each spent with our hearts broken, our Souls shattered and our lives seemingly left in disarray was not spent in vain but rather and only in preparation for what is now and in fully forceful manifest.

And no matter what it is that we try to do about it, even if we feel like what we wanted just two or three months ago we no longer want, at least technically, we are now seeing. While we will not see it for what we have seen it as in our minds and our thoughts, we will see it in a manner that is not only conducive to each of our own healing but also we stand to bear witness to our own power and that of the Power of our Own Creativity when speaking in terms of manifesting our highest and greatest lives.

When I look back at what it was that I thought I wanted and see it in relation to what it is that I now have upon me, I find that just a year ago I wanted something similar, but was not very clear on what it was that I actually wanted. When I look back, I find that at that time I was not supposed to be clear on the goal because at that time I was sitting in the middle of the worst tumult that I had ever been in the middle of, in every area of my life but one – and that one area simply and only was the idea that I did not give up the dream, that I did not give in to my fears of failure, of not being good enough to see to it that I would have a far better life now than I did back then. And I do. I have a great life now. I have new friends who I adore, and I have a better grip on my own reality and what little needs to be done with this part of my life and with the creation and “slipping into” of the second half of my thus far very storied life.

Yet, no matter how many times I look back at that picture, and no matter how many times I am stuck in the feeling of disbelief of what has become of my life thus far, I know that this is how it is meant to be, that this is what I can deal with and can offer the world right now, and this is just perfect for the time being. I know,like we should all Know and Believe, that right now is the catalyst, that Now in this moment – this is what matters, not the picture of what I see as things to come for me, but this moment where I have absolute control over what I think and do and desire. This is the thing,t he concept that not a lot of people are willing to accept about reality – all we have is right now. There are a few people with whom I hold a closeness who say this to me all the time, that they can’t see how this all came to be but oh well, it is what it is and apparently this is as it is meant to be.

To all of you who, just this morning even, told me, chatted to me, texted me, emailed me, telepathically sent to me (LOL)…no matter what it is that you had planned, don’t fret about the outcome. The outcome is not here yet. Even though you would love to be able to Know for sure that what you see with your mind’s eyes is what you will see when it is manifested into your reality and your daily life, I promise you now that what you see in your mind is only an example of the awesomeness that is going to unfold into your lives as time passes by. I have told you all plenty of times that this time in our lives and during this period of growth and evolution, that what you want is coming to you, is better than what you think it is, and that once you wrap your heads around it and accept that what is coming to you is something that not even your creative mind could have come up with, you will know, too, that when I have told you that “belief is everything,” or whatever is close to it…I Meant…and I promise you that you will see it…all of  it…

For now, though, just enjoy your Time on The Path….the Journey is what matters, and what you learn on the way to the Goal…the Goal is simply just another comma in a sentence in the story called “Your Life…”

When you realize how true that is, the question “What are you going to write on this new sheet of paper called your life? What’s your new story, Lovely One?” no longer will strike fear in you, but rather and only, creativity…

So…What’s your story, doll? Only you can write it !!


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Be Open To Things Happening Differently

We can plan for anything…thing is, God might have a different plan

Life is funny. We plan for it, but most of the time, it turns out differently than we had imagined, let alone planned.

It was not my plan to learn the fineries of the inner workings of the Soul, and neither was it ever my intention, when first I breathed the barely whispered intention of “Use Me, God, For Your Purpose,” to not be dually self-employed in the areas of dance and writing. It was not ever my plan to be and do with my own life what it is that I have simply just become mad-cap in Love with as a person whose life and mission is centered on helping others to find their own Truths. My life was planned out by me to become the greatest choreographer whose best-selling non-fiction would hit the stores worldwide and my life was planned by me that I would have done things not in the manner, given my life circumstances throughout the almost entirety of my adulthood, as I have since I was 19. I am now 42 and it is safe to say that the life I planned is so not the life that I have created and continue to create for myself.

And this is what I have to say to anyone right now regarding what they think is happening to their lives, and make sure of it that you are aware that I am told these things about the lives of people with whom I have the beautiful chance to work with, sometimes all day long – you may plan what you want to happen in your life, but you may not plan or plan on those same things happening for those who are a part of your life just like you do not know if you will happen upon a new part of the plan that was not planned on. I hear it, read it, am privy to seeing it sometimes in the most unlikely places that even if we have a great plan and good intentions, if God needs us elsewhere, it is not our plan anymore, but God’s.

At first I thought that I was being told these things…the things about peoples’ lives not being what they planned on them being at this time…because the people who say these things to me the most are the ones with whom I share a lot of time, heart and Soul with. I was wrong, but not in that these people who are close to me continue to say it, but because it is the permeating “thing” that I am currently working through with a whole lot of people. The ongoing and growing sentiment that I hear from most of the people who seek my skills is that their lives were not planned out the way that their lives have thus far turned out.

Well, that is because your plans included nothing of your growing, or at least you didn’t plan on growing, and your plans did not include the things that you have grown to become at this point. We can never really know what a baby is going to look like when it is born – all we can do is guess. This same thing can be said of the plans that we make, that we hope we can stick to, that we want to see to fruition, and when it is that we find ourselves, again and again in that same place we were the last time we went through the motions and we see that not a lot has changed in that one place, it is at that very moment that we should be inclined to check if those same plans made prior to right now will still fit into our lives. What we never think about is the idea that we grow, and we keep growing, and just like a child grows out of his or her shoes, we will also grow out of the ideas that the plans we made for our lives just a little while ago are SO not in line with the life that we are living now. If your life is anything like my life you will notice that everything you have asked for has come to fruition.

The faces and the tiny minute details might not be what you thought or what you saw, but there it is – the life that you planned, only better.

And you have to admit – it is a lot better than what you thought it was going to be, isn’t it?

Yep…so is mine…

I don’t want to tell anyone to not plan anything – that is terribly irresponsible. Without a plan we are not following our own Path, as paradoxical as that sounds, but it is the truth. Our Plans are only markers that we want and desire newer and better things in our lives and in the lives of those we love and care for the most. However, God is funny in the way that our wishes of the Soul are brought into Being.

When we Know that God is Guiding us we can also trust that nothing can go wrong. Sure, it might take a little more time, and absolutely you might not have those same players in the drama of your life, but the fact remains and you know it is true because it is the truth in my life as well as in the lives of those closest to me…
the changes, yes, were uncomfortable, but, I am so much better off and in a way better place now than I have been in a very, very long time.

And ya know what else ???

It all is Divinely Timed and Planned…so wrap your brain around that one, lose your fears and don’t think about what is not the same as how you planned but instead, think about how awesome your Power really is!


Riiiiiiiiight !! Haha!!


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Just Chill…

Relax…it’s just You Growing…

When we think about a storm we automatically think of the destruction that it can cause, but what we never think about is that when it rains, and pours, there is a cleansing going on. 
We can think of the things and situation in our lives which are not of our own preference as being “bad,” or we can see them all as a hint into our inner world. I know that my own hints have been about self-worth, about believing in the gifts which were mine upon my conception, which were in manifest from the beginning of Life. I know that there is work to do still, that there is much to be handled and much more these days to be very incredibly grateful for, and anymore now I find that being grateful walks hand in hand with also being gracious.
The Calm Before the Storm is meant, at least for some of us, to be the thing that prompts us to recognize the things that hurt us and break us down, things that are meant as a means for us to learn through our own set measure about what we can handle, what we are okay with on the Soul’s level, what it is that we need, and who it is that we want to spend our time on and with. When we reach a point in our lives where it seems like all we have to offer is somehow not enough, take a step back and think about who it was that told you that awful lie, who it was that talked you into believing that garbage, because now and forever, I promise you that you are enough.
You Are Enough

You are good enough, miraculous enough, talented and beautifully magical enough to be able to see your Life the way that you want to see it. 
Yes, it will take work, but it will not take (ack!) sacrifice. Sacrifice is such an ugly word when thinking in terms of the way that we feel about ourselves. I have heard that word far too many times in my life for me to even bother with thinking that somehow, it still belongs in my vocabulary. I prefer to think of that word now and anymore as being replaced by three others – “Let Go Of.”
Expectation is the thing that we must let go of, because with it comes the seeds of disappointment and with it comes the idea that we can Know what is best for everyone involved in a given situation when the truth of us is that we totally and so do NOT!! We cannot “call it” when it comes to other people and their life needs and desires, and we cannot try to know what it is that we need unless we are more inclined to STOP worrying about what someone else needs in their lives so that we can feel better about our lives. We cannot continue the madness of trying to get another person or another set of people to look at things through our eyes because they can’t. There are not a whole lot of people who can…not a whole lot of people are willing to stop talking, start listening, and start thinking about how the story that we are being told by that person is somehow also applicable to our own in some way.
Yet we cannot go through our lives hoping to be everything to someone else or a few someone else’s before we can be everything to ourselves. I know that in my line of work while it might be one thing that I am available to help aid the coming up with new thoughts about a thing, I am not able to help others help their own lives if what I will do is also expect that these people who I am charged with to do everything that I tell them will work for them. I don’t know that it will. All I do know is that when I am “given” a suggestion for them that the most I can offer is to tell them when I have been “told.”
It would be hard on my Soul if I worried that my clients are not following my advice – that is not mine to deal with. I am only here to offer a hand up in life and for me to think that I know what is best for someone else is also like my thinking that what applies in my own life will apply everywhere else and for everyone else as well.
We need to just chill when it comes to the things that we want for others and more, just chill when it comes to the things that we also and dearly want for our own lives. We are of no good help to anyone, namely ourselves, when we are not willing to be open to things being as they are meant to if we bothered not to Lord over others, bothered to let people do as they will, bothered to see that sometimes when we are giving other people our soothing words and our Love, that sometimes the messages that we offer them are truly and also meant for us, too.
So when it comes to our wanting certain things and events and people and situations in our lives, sometimes we just need to trust that we are good enough, that we are strong enough, and that for our very selves, are more than enough to bring our Lives into line with the dreams which have been in manifest when we each were just a twinkle in our earth father’s eyes, but a grand component of the Grander Scheme of Things in the eyes of our Father Who Art in Heaven…
Just Sayin’…
So when you think about it in terms that I have laid out here, it prompts us to ask the question of “What makes me not just chill and trust that I am safe in the arms and the Spirit of the Divine?”
I Love You All !!
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Cleaning Windows

Things Change For Us When We Choose to Change Our Perspective

There have been a lot of life-altering changes these last few weeks and the majority of those changes have not materialized for a lot of us, but for some of us, namely those of us who practice daily the act of seeing things from a different perspective, those changes can be seen already.

For weeks I and many others like me have behaved like petulant children stomping their feet to get their way, and by stomping our feet I do not mean literally. I mean that there are things and events which have taken place over the last few weeks that have been life-changing to say the least, and while those things might not be life-changing in the sense that others can see it, those things are life changing in the sense that we ourselves are able to see them. When we choose to place our perspective someplace else and totally from a place which is not the place we started out at, we are also choosing change, meaning that we are also willing to go with that same energetic flow which makes it known that no matter what, no matter how far into the dirt we dig our heels, and no matter how often we proverbially try to swim against the tide of Life, no matter what, change is inevitable. What is also not inevitable is that once it is that we realize what is happening within us, we will also see those same things and events happening outside of ourselves.

The things that we used to think, and the ways that we used to follow through on those thoughts have been changed. And when I say changed, I mean markedly so, and the way that most of us have handled it all is with Grace and Ease, which is exactly as it should be.

Cleaning Windows

So yesterday I am in the middle of a coaching session and I get a text from my very good friend who lives in the southern part of the United States, and her text to me is these three words  :”GO CLEAN WINDOWS.” Now, understand that this friend literally, at her part time night job, cleans windows. So I thought it was her being her usually silly self when I get yet another text from this very same friend that reads “NO REALLY- MAPU GO CLEAN WINDOWS AND MAKE SURE THAT IT IS CLEAN ENOUGH TO SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN IT…” and so me being me asks if it matters that I don’t want to clean a house window and is it cool to clean my car windows. Of course, yes was the answer, and by the time I got myself outside to clean said car windows, I went from only cleaning the front windshield to cleaning all the windows, inside and out. Of course, in the dark of the night the windows would look very clean…but when I got up this morning the truth was different.

While my windows were much cleaner than they were, there were streaks left by the newspaper which I used to dry the windows when they were wet. The newspaper left behind the typical inky streaks that it would anyway, but I did not bother with going over them a second time until this morning. Even though the windows were not as clean as I thought they were, they were, by far, cleaner, and suddenly I understood the symbolism of the Clean Windows…and it makes sense that I would care to clean the windows in the car because I spend a lot of coaching hours in that car – it is my rolling office.

In the same light, it is presumptuous of us to believe that no one but we ourselves can change, and while the changes in others with whom we share closeness may not involve us and while it is that we might not see our own changes, eventually we surely and absolutely will be told that there have been changes made by us. As long as we are not looking for it, change will happen for us – this is a Universal Promise. Everything evolves. Everything, with time, becomes what it is meant to be, and everything, with time, also turns into what it is meant to be as the highest good for all people involved, even people who are minimally involved. The change in our perspective raises our energy level and that vibration is felt everywhere…our change in perception of a thing literally changes things in a physical sense.

And if you don’t believe that this is the Truth, try it. Don’t sit there thinking about all the things that have already gone “other than good” and don’t think of what could happen. Think only thoughts that make you have feelings of happiness, of contentment, of how Much we are so very Loved.

When we are dwelling on the things that have happened, and when we think that there is just nothing more important for us at this moment in time, we must retrain ourselves to actively look for the good in the things that make us mad and break out hearts, must think in the sense that the things, situations and most of all, people, who we think we have lost have really only realized themselves that this lesson with us is over and that truly they are not going away, but really and only making room for our next Teacher.

When we choose to look beyond what the Ego wants us to see we also choose to no longer limit ourselves and who we really are, and I have said it over and over again…

Who we Each Are really is a gigantic, monumental big deal. All you really need to know is realize your place in the Grander Scheme of Things and you will know that the All That Is In Manifest is Being Created and that you need not fret but only to relax into the idea that while your heart and soul may have been through the harshest times of learning thus far, you are primed and ready for the Universal and Divinely Timed and Planned Events to occur for, to, with and through You…which means that indeed, you are a markedly important part of this Lifetime, no matter what you are choosing at this moment to Believe.


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved


Why do You Believe What is not the Truth of You?

There is a difference between what we Believe and what the Truth of Us Is

Often, when working with people, I find that much of the drama that is so large a part of all of our lives is directly related and connected to the things that we have been told and things that have been assumed as what we are to other people. Belief is not only about religion – I have said that a million and one times to many of the Souls which have graced my life with their very tortured presence. The thing that has drawn a lot of people to me in regards to working with those who seek Spiritual Healing or Counsel is that what made their lives so…bleh…at the time is not the actions but the words that were said which preceded any action at all.

I won’t lie about the fact that for a long, long time, I believed myself to be the weak little girl who still surfaces from time to time when it seems to her that the rest of me is somehow not adequate enough to be “approved” of or accepted just as I am. It took me some time to grow into the idea that there are going to be people on this planet who are not going to like me, who do not want to know me, and who I will never be up to par for, but that is just  their opinion. They can say and believe whatever it is that they want to of me, and it won’t bother me because the simple truth is that I have learned over the course of my lifetime that I am not always going to be everyone’s favorite cup of tea. Yet that much isn’t even nearly the thing that hurts us more than much else will, and you can believe what you want to about this next thing that I write, but if you are having issues with your own sense of Self whenever other people are inclined to give you a not so raving review of you in terms of their opinion of you, that is not theirs to deal with. That is yours to deal with.

The Good Opinion of Other People

I cannot quote Dr. Wayne Dyer directly, but he mentioned one time in one of his books or perhaps it was a live event, that we are not obligated to live up to the good opinions of other people. We have no business trying to be or not be what other people say and believe we are. That is their version, their view, their opinion of us, and in their lives it will fit because in their lives is where they live. This does not mean, though, that it has to be true in our own lives, not by any measure. When we think about how many of our own inner demons are caused because we were so worried about what other people thought of us, and in kind we chose to try hard to fit ourselves in to the mold that they have set for us, we also found that we might have bristled at the idea that we were not standard, not good enough, not right, in essence, for someone else to approve of Who We Are for Real.

Other peoples’ opinions of us do not belong to us. They never have. They never will. When someone else forms an opinion of us that is not what we want them to think about us, many of us do what we can to make it known to them that the way they have perceived us is “wrong,” when in fact it is NOT wrong – but you are.

You are Wrong if you think that you have control over what other people think of you. You are wrong if you have the idea in your head that you have to do anything at all to change their minds about you because the truth is that people are ready and willing to form their own opinion of you, of anyone, right upon first meeting. It is like this because it allows us to delve deeper into that thought and it allows us to not only find out if we are wrong about them, but more, if they are right about us. And the only way that they can be right about us is if we allow them to be right.

In order for anyone to be right about us and who we are there must be an active exchange of energies and actions that tell people that they are right. You might be giving that vibe to them without realizing it, and that is plenty enough for a lot of people to believe what it is that is their opinion of them. Many people do not give other people even the tiniest bit of what might be someone else’s truth because they are so rigid in their own way of believing in their own thoughts that no one can ever grow out of that thought and once again, we take a ride on the Karmic wheel only to be taught the lesson again and again.

Eventually we tire of the idea that what we are being told is the truth of us. Eventually we want to find out for ourselves what really is our truth.

I have been seen as being weak, as being entirely too emotional, as being flighty, as being somewhat of an indecisive person. I can find not one human being who has also not been all these things, and while these things, at one time or another in my lifetime, may have very well been the truth of me, I have, in no uncertain terms, made it my mission in my own life and in my own Soul’s presence, to live my Life by means of the things that are also true of me. I know that I am strong and in possession of strong character. I know that when I say I am going to do something that I will do it and that if I find I am not able to, regardless of the reason why I am not able to, I will also tell people that I am not able, no matter what. I know that I am in possession of a high moral regard for the Spiritual Life of other people, and I Know, too, that more than a lot of other things that I know I am, the one thing that I know I have always been is a very good human being who has, just like everyone else has, done some really not so good things.

I am sure there are more things about my Self that I could add to both sides of that list, but more than much else, I know that when I look at the things on this list that they are believable because I make them believable to me. I know that when I look at my list of ways of being that yes. of course I can be all of those things that are not so great, but all the time I try hard to be the best Me that I can afford myself to be because I also know that when I am the Best Me I Can Be, I am not only improving my own Life, but also, in some small way, I am giving that same living energy and that same living truth to those who mean the very most to me. I may not have all the right answers, and I might not make all the right choices, but they are the Truth of me and the answers and the choices are all mine to make and while not everyone will agree with them, the beautiful part of it is that no matter what, those who encounter me at any time at all is getting the very truest Truth of me.

If we could just ask ourselves that one question before we head into Dramaland, the question “Why Do You Believe What is not the Truth of You?” and answer it honestly and more, accept the answer that we come up with…well, I can tell you right now from my own experience that when you allow yourself to not only accept the truth of You from others and more, Know that Yours is the Truth by which you are meant to Live and Be, the world becomes a very different, very exciting, very beautiful place to be!!

I Love You All!!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.

(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved

"When it’s time to change it’s time to rearrange…" ("The Brady Bunch," circa 1970’s)

We are aware when changes are about to happen, or more, when change needs to happen

I write much about the things happening in the lives of the people with whom I share much of my time. Those people, on the outside, are my friends, but on the inside, are part of my own awakening in Spirit and in my own Truth. The reason I say much of them is not only because they are the very heart and soul of my very life at this time, but also because they were the change I dearly wanted to see in my own life. I wanted to have more people who are just like me in my life, and I left it up to Spirit to choose them for me, to choose how to bring them to my life, and to give to me those lessons I so badly needed and still need for my own growth. Through them I was given the chance to see my very Self and through them I was able to learn what it was and what it is to be very dearly Loved and Cherished and it is through them that I am also able to put forth my own measure of Aloha, my own Soul’s measure of Love.

I knew that I needed to reach out to people, because for so very long a time I was sheltered in the idea that I would make friends and that they would go away and that that is just how life is, but I know that I lied to myself. That is not the truth – at least it is not my truth because my truth tells me that when I make friends they become my family, and when we are family we are there, permanently. And this is what I asked for – permanence.

While I know that with the few really great friendships I already had that I’d had enough in terms of having a few pals, what I longed for was the sense of community and family that was gone from my life in the manner in which my Soul so badly needed it. My Soul needed other like Souls which would not be there to parent my already over-parented inner-child, and my Soul needed other like Souls simply so that it would know for sure that there was an entire population of people who were out there seeking the same thing that I was – to be a part of something bigger than myself, to be a part of a group that would Know me before they got to know me, and most of all, to have people in my life whose motives are pure and without judgment or expectation. I had to learn how to not expect people to react or respond to me in the way I expected them to, and I had to learn to appreciate the ones who were still here, and I had to do a lot of Soul searching to find out what it was that I needed in terms of Love.

While there were a lot of potential suitors in that mix, the only thing that I sought out was the permanence that comes with knowing that I was part of a group of people who Loved me, who want the best for me, and who are also seeking their own higher truths.

And like nothing at all, we all found each other, and some of the ones who are still tantamount in importance to me are there, still, and I love them as much as I always have, which is with everything in me.

I chose to no longer be lonely, and I chose to be part of a group which needed me as much as I needed them, and the only reason that we need each other is because we are there to be a part of each others’ lives, and that alone is worth all the loneliness that I went through just to get where I am now. I knew for many years that I really needed to change my own Life and that I would need company on the way there. I now share my Path with those who mean the most to me, and yes, you all know who you are !!

I Love You All!!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

The Dying – Some Words About Growth

Welcome to the rest of your Life…

I am not one who throws that word “dying” around much, because the simple truth is that I have fallen dearly and madly in Love with Life – My Life.

When this trek to wholeness began I was an insecure wreck of a woman, and with good reason – I’d been through hell, made it out alive, and knew for sure that it, whatever it was that was the ‘it’ in my life at the time, no longer could control me or how I feel about myself or my choices. Yes, I still experience bouts with the indulgence of the little girl in me who feels like she needs the world to attend to her, but that is normal. That is not something that all of us do not go through. We all go through feeling like who we are is not good enough or simply not enough for anyone else, even our very selves.

One day, though, I woke up …literally and figuratively…to the notion that if I wanted to be healed that I would have to exact it on my own and more than that, on my own terms. When a victim becomes a survivor, it is at that point where the trust in things and people that we didn’t have becomes the guarded trust in people that we know we are capable of, we also know that our choices have led to the changes which we are so dearly in need of. We are not born into this lifetime to be anyone’s victim, and the one who victimizes us the most after the fact is us. I victimized me into the thinking that I had to beg for people to accept me as I am, and the truth is that no, I do not and no, they do not have to. The acceptance of who we are is one thing, but the acceptance that not everyone is going to be crazy about us after we have evolved is quite another thing all together.

My parents would have me stay the wounded little girl – in fact, a lot of people would rather have me stay that wounded little girl, but I rather like the snarky beauty that was born of the pain and I am hard pressed to find anyone these days who will disagree with me. It is not an easy thing allowing the old to die away and no longer be a presence in our lives, but what is harder is the acceptance that the person staring back at us in the mirror is so not the same person we were just a year ago. Hell, some of us are not the same people we were just last week, and yes, the latter of these two inclinations totally applies to me. And frankly I like this newer, more evolved me, because this newer and more evolved me is more inclined to see past a thing to what is really there.

What is really there is a newly formed trust in myself, in who I am becoming and all that I Love and all Who I Love, and those who I Love the Most know that I love them the very most, because no longer am I scared to show them that yes, I Love You…it is not romantic Love but a higher Love, the kind that permeates all that we know and all that we have each transcended and all that is the Great Bigness that Is. When an abuse victim becomes a survivor, we know we have, and we allow it to show, because the truth is that for too long many of us were more inclined to not let people see the realness of who we each are. I was scared to see me for who I really Am, and while I have been told, over and over again, that what and who I am is a LOT, there is still that little girl who will always live in my Soul who is afraid to Love because she is scared to have her heart broken again. When I say that she is afraid to have her heart broken again, it is not only through the idea of romantic Love, but Love that she was not given enough of as a child, which is not the romantic sort at all but is the sort that we all need, which is unconditional.

When we evolve to what and who we are at the time that we are meant to be that new person, new people will come along to complement the ones who were there prior to them, and in those new people we will see and sense the dying off of the old within ourselves, and we will see ourselves in them because we are them and they are us and that is just how this all rolls!

Accept that each and every day there is a dying off of sorts, an evolution of who we are into who we are meant to be, not by someone else’s measure, and sometimes not even by our very own, but more and only by that measure in which God and the Universe needs us to be. It is never us who we evolve for only.

Evolution is a Universal Action and it is an Action that we are all both privy and prone to…

Don’t forget that!!

I Love You ALL!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.

(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved

Trust Who You Are and Everything Else just tends to happen for You

Trust that Who You Are Is Okay to Be and that What you are doing, no matter what, is right for your own personal Path…

Lots of us live under the microscopic glare of other peoples’ judgments on us. Many of us adhere and believe what it is that other people have judged us as without giving so much as a reason to really ponder why it is that anyone would have a reason to judge someone else for any reason at all. Many of us have graduated past the idea that what someone used to be, they are still, and more often than that, the majority of us choose to believe what we think is the truth of another person far and long before we bother to even find out for ourselves if what we are assuming is right.

We can assume anything we want to, but the truth of the matter is that until we bother to find out anything on our own and by ourselves we will not know what the truth is because we will have already formed our own truth in our heads and we will, like always, follow that belief.

When we choose to not see a person for how far along they have come in their own growth and we forget that people have motives other than the ones that we think they have, and we impart that inclination, that judgment, onto them as though our own truth about a matter is the only truth and without bothering to ask a question, this is when we have sunk those people we love to the level that we …WE feel comfortable with them being at. People grow Spiritually all the time. I do it. You do it. Everyone does it. We do not have the right to impart onto someone else our own judgment of the way that they are living their lives. When we do so, it minimizes them to the point where we feel comfortable but not really where they may really be in their growing, in their healing, in their very own lives.

So, the next time that any one of us decides that because something is different than what we thought it was or thought it should be, the greatest thing that you can do, not only for the people who you are concerned about, but more, for you, is to simply let them be who they are and not worry about who we have not given them credit for having become.

When we are not willing to let people be who they are, and not willing to see past what they were, and we apply who they were and what they were to who they are and what they are at this point in time, we are not only not giving them their due credit for having grown, we are also not giving our own selves credit for our own growth, and that isn’t a good thing. When we keep people in the same manner in our own souls that they may have been in the past, we are impeding them because we expect them to be all that they were rather than seeing them for the beautiful thing they have become.

I am bad at this, and there are a lot of other people who are just as bad, if not worse, than I am at it, but it remains the same that no matter what, we have to let other people do their thing because in doing so we release that worry caused by the Ego that tells us that the people we care about the most do not need the lessons which are presenting themselves as they have. We do not know better than someone else does about their own lives. I cannot cause for another person the quelling of the fire which rages within them from the ignition caused by a mistrust which resides within us all, and it is a raging fire that, while it is sparked by Love, it is also fueled by worry, and when it comes to other peoples’ lessons and learning, the only thing that we are meant to do is support them in their growth .

I Love You All !!

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved. 

You Ought To Know…

Today, Know that you are Loved…

So…so sometimes I post the “morning mana’o” after the morning time has passed, but I like doing things on “Hawaiian Time,” meaning that I will likely be late, but always, I will be where I am meant to be.

It has been a very harrowing last few days for all of us. There is not one person who I know who is particularly close to me who has not, at some point, even today, gone through something that has made them just want to fall apart in to a mess of tears.

Let it be well known right now that if you are not aware of it, you are very Loved. While it might seem to you that there is no one on the planet who loves you, that there is no relief for you to look forward to, the most beautiful thing that any one of us should never forget is that above all, We Are Very Loved. Yes, there are people who are in our lives who are the very heart and soul of us (and you all know who you are when speaking in terms of the people who I am closest to and with whom I share the most time and heart and soul with…I Love You, Guys! Thank you for being there for me, too!!), and yes, you can guarantee that at any given time that each and all of us is adding to that list of people. And while you are at it you can feel free to add me to that list, as well.

Today, Know for sure and without any reservation that you are dearly very Loved.

Human beings, many of us, still, have no inkling of the fact that no matter what, not one of us is without Love in our lives. We tend to take it personally when someone disagrees with what we so hold opinion of, and we get upset when we find out that the things we wanted in our lives are not meant to be. Yet, when we think about it further, we find out that if we just stop for a moment and pause for the lesson at hand, we will find out that at the end of the lesson there was only Love to be learned, to be had, and to be Known.

We cannot make it through life without Love in some manner in our lives. It doesn’t have to be the love between two who are romantically involved, and it doesn’t have to be parental Love, it just is what it is, and what it is can only be referred as the purest, most highest form of Aloha that any one of us will ever really and truly Know.

So with that much known, know. too, that no matter what, you are very, very Loved.



Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. To contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.

(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved. 

Let It Go and Breathe

Sometimes it isn’t someone else who is making us crazy…sometimes, it is our very selves!

The theme of late, late meaning these last two weeks, is very definitely one that is of great and needed life changes. There are some of us on the planet who seem to equate “crazy making” with helping other people through our own ridiculous misjudgments about stuff.

There is a lot of turmoil right now, yes, but at the same time there is also the thrilling electricity of permanent and positive change in the air and it is a collective energy. Whatever it is that you are having a doubt about, and whatever it is that you are tearing apart to try to see how it – whatever it is in your life right now – came to be and why it came to be, stop…stop because you are making things worse for you, and I know this is the truth because I am a recovering rescuer.

We want so badly for everyone in our lives to be happy and well, but we do not realize and cannot see the issue within the issue that the idea that we believe we need to save anyone at all is …that is our issue and that is the thing that we have to save our very selves from – the Ego’s intent to always know better or best what we as a whole Being need. The Ego only knows about what it wants and never what the entirety of the whole needs. We need to not worry about the safety, the sanctity and the wholeness of others before we worry for those things in our own lives. We need even more to stop, and like I mentioned the other day, that collectively we are in a reboot after the biggest download that humanity has ever had to go through.

We are making our own selves crazy, people. We are doing it ourselves. We are such big bozos when it comes to the things that we know we need to do and more than that, we are even bigger bozos when we know deep inside that the things that we want for one another versus the things that we know will happen for them by their own hand are two very different things. On the one hand we know how badly these people who drive us crazy with their abilities to not do what they need to do can help make us be when they do not listen to us and screw up again and again, but on the other hand we don’t realize that because we need to make it known to them that they need to change that we are the very ones who are driving us batty with the idea that we need to make something happen in their heads so that we can see them be all we know they are able to be.

That other people do what they need to on their own is one thing that I will not ever say a little Loving prompting of is not a good thing…but just a little. That we choose quite on our own to try to exact or manipulate them into doing a thing because we know it is good for them is altogether another thing on its own. When we have allowed that one thing that they seem not to think is a good thing to change about them to become part of our own human-beingish obsession to want the best for those we care the most about to the point where it keeps us up at night or to the point where it is impeding us on several different levels…

…well, that is something that is another thing that You have to work on for You, so it is best to simply just be the example of things for a moment and not try to Do but only to Be.

Tough, yes, I know it is, but so well worth it the next time the thought enters your head that you need to do something for anyone else, and will prompt you to also think about what that thought and that intention that you have for anyone else is…and more, it will bring to light, not what they need to Do or to Be to make the changes needed in their lives, but you, too, will also, if you should so choose to awaken to the reality of it all, learn where it was in your life that this other person’s issues have shed light on for YOU !!

Again, Do and Be For You and You Alone because when we Do and Be for ourselves, ultimately we are also Doing and Being All That We Are Meant to Be for Everyone Else, too!!

I Love You All !

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.

(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved.

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