Tag Archives: Learning

That which we are not aware of

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In terms of being aware, it is not what we are absolutely aware of that we need to hone, but that which we are unaware of and that we are creating that we need to learn…

Awareness: having knowledge of something and especially of something not generally known or apparent (from Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary,1973, pg 78)

Until we are aware of something, we are unaware.

Yeah, I know…duh… 

The reality is, though, unfortunately, that we humans can be severely unaware of what is happening with our own selves, and lots of times it is not a bad thing, even though those lots of things might actually be very, very tough to deal with, let alone live through. At this moment in our shared lives we are finding that there is a LOT of stuff that we are going through, that perhaps a lot of us have denied through the mechanism of being awful in terms of how it is that we feel about ourselves and our abilities.

And let me tell you what – every one of us is going through something right now. I am sure that if you bothered to look at the less than rosy things in your life (you know…the things that take you away from having to deal with the things that you would rather not? Yeah…I’m onto ya…keep reading), you might not be able to see it right away, but in that garbage is what it is, at the bottom of it all, you are learning. And you are not learning to do something OTHER than become aware.

Awareness is that thing that we want, but is something that reveals the truth, not only about other people, but mostly about ourselves. While it is that we do not want to look at the ugliness that exists within the confines of our lives, what we are not thinking about is what is not apparent but is absolutely there for us to find. We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on who we are for real, that we do not buy into what others say about us that is good – we prefer to keep ourselves humble, so to speak, and keep ourselves at a level that is not the level that we each know we need to accept ourselves as being at.

This is not easy to do when we are looking at our tangible realities and finding there the things that scare the hell out of us the most. This is what this things called awareness brings us – the ability to see, perhaps even with our physical eyes, that which is unapparent to us on the physical level.

That which is apparent to us on the physical level is not all that there is to ‘see’

If I tell someone who I am coaching that there are things that they are not aware of, and things that they, themselves, cannot see, it is actually a very good thing that some of them cannot see what it is that anyone else can see and appreciate.

Sometimes, duh is better

Sometimes, it is better that we cannot see these things about us, because in doing so, we will either become so comfortable in the idea that we are changing things for ourselves that we become complacent in our efforts and end up not evolving, or, we will find ourselves so very…filled with un-belief…about the great things that we are being told, that we will over-analyze what we have been told is the truth about us as presented to us by someone else. We will make it so that within that goodness, we will find something that will invariably go ‘wrong.’ We are so much more readily available to believe the ugliness that is said about who we are, far and long before we will even think to accept what is not apparent to us and is actually both true and good. We will essentially mind-fuck it into oblivion, and we will end up continuing to believe the awful things that others have said about us and to us.

The thing about that sort of things is that, when others tell us what they feel is ‘wrong’ with us, what they are actually doing is reflecting how they feel about themselves and showing us, through the mirror who they are, what is really not completely okay about themselves. I am reminded of a mother who cannot find one good thing to say about her adult kid. When finally she does, somehow, because it is her habit and it is her way of keeping her kid a kid, she jacks things up by “balancing” the good things that she’d said by reminding her kid that somehow, they are not the best person on the planet, and why don’t you listen to mommy more?

Well, why would anyone want to listen to someone who never encourages another person to be all that they can be and do so without all of the (ahem) ‘constructive criticism’? (I am sorry, but, that is not a real thing, by the way – how can criticism ever be constructive? It is way, way destructive…keep reading…) It is not that they have a bad thing to say to us or about us, at least for the most part. It is that they are not happy with themselves, or they feel like they are entitled to our changing who we are so that they can feel better about themselves through the mechanism of reflecting their own ‘bad’ onto someone who is essentially ‘good.’

This is the truth. I did not make this up.

On this planet we share the air with people who have been told their entire lives that, because they are not willing to conform to someone else’s level of comfort, that somehow, they are ‘bad.’ What else is the truth is that not one of us has to accept what is someone else’s bullshit when it comes to things like who we are to anyone, namely and mostly ourselves. The damage that is caused by people not thinking before they speak, or perhaps not thinking at least about how it would feel if they were to be told the same things that they habitually say to others…that damage is huge and that damage lasts as long as it takes for a person to raise their level of awareness, at least to the point where what is being said cannot be proved as true.

It is only true if we choose to believe it.

At that point, we make their truth, our truth. At that point, we are living and being the person who they see and who they have a problem with. At that point, what we are doing is anything other than being true to ourselves. We are taught for our lives long that other peoples’ opinion is the truth of us and really, the truth of us is created by and through us. Other people are just tools in that creation. They are there with their cutting words and their biting assumptions, there with words but without a clue. They are there to make sure that they get what they need into our ears and our psyche, and there to help us choose what they are in terms of what it is that they bring to us.

Choosing who they are vs. allowing them to choose for us who we are

In the last paragraph, I wrote that we get to choose who they are in our lives. To make sure that things are more clear for you, let’s see these people as actual tools in a toolbox.

Now, realize that I have almost zero clue about what tool is useful for what job and that for the most part, I am using this only as an example. Inside of a toolbox there are several different tools. Each of those tools has a different purpose.  Each of them does different things, even though lots of them might look a whole lot alike.  Some are exactly alike but are a different size, meaning that even as they might look like something else, they are outwardly and essentially the same, but do not have the same purpose.

NOW…let’s look at the other side of this…the side where you call a guy to repair something.

That guy knows his stuff, and here you are, questioning that guy about his stuff. You sit there telling that guy what he should do according to you, and all the while, that guy is the one who is going to, without your help, either fix what needs to be fixed or leave the repair job, and all because you have shit to say about something that you called on him for. Because you do not know what this guy has already gone through earlier in his work day, you are taken aback when he tells you that you can fix it yourself, and you are offended by him when he hands you his tools and tells you to do it yourself (since you know better than the expert).

…the difference being…

In one instance, we are who, in our DIY manner, chooses who is and who is not a tool for us. We choose who will sharpen us through their words and their sordid thoughts about us. We choose who will strengthen us by their measure of trying hard to make us weak every chance they get. We determine what tool will be best for what job and what part of us needs to be made whole. When we are the one doing the choosing, we are managing who we are through whatever means it is that other people bring to us. In other words, we are not believing what others say of us that is not that great and who are choosing their stuff to measure against our stuff and we are finding out the truth through them without them realizing it.

In the other instance, when we call out someone else about their stuff and we believe them, we are allowing them to create for us an awareness that is not our own, and we are telling them that, because they have a problem, and since they are more willing to see what they think we are not able to do versus the reason why they called us out or upon us for whatever reason they have, we are letting them be in control and we are allowing them into that sacred place of wholeness that only we can see to. This is not to say that we do not, from time to time, in our actual abodes, not in need of someone to come and actually fix stuff for us. It is saying that when it comes to the home that is our peace of mind, the last thing that someone …anyone…needs is one more person telling us that they have a better way of doing things and why are we not doing things their way?

When it comes to that point is when we have to choose who they are to us…are they a tool? Are they someone in need of our specific help with themselves? Are they someone in need of specific help with themselves and who would rather not fix who they are – they would rather tell other people how said other people are not able to do what it is that we are all able to do, so long as we do it ourselves and without believing the things that people tell us is the truth of us.

Basically, the way that we become aware of the things that we are not topically aware of is simply trhrough observance, through listening, through paying attention to the things that others are telling us is the truth of who we are. What you will notice is that everything that they have to tell us about us is typically about them, as well, and when they tell us what they tell us, it is a reflection of themselves, not of us. We are not taught this way. We are taught to believe other people. We are taught to not trust us. We are taught to be beholden to the opinions of other people, and we are not taught that the only opinion of ourselves that truly matters comes from ourselves.

The hardest part of all of this awareness stuff is not that we have to look at what other people think of us. It is that we have to learn to accept that which is GOOD about us and learn to stop accepting what is bad about us according to other people.

The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best… “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”

The Truth…it completely rocks…namely when it is that we are the creators of our own…

Live Aloha…

I Love You All… ROX

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Things Unsaid

When learning things regarding our lessons, there are things that cannot be said for the simple reason that if it is said, it cannot be learned. 

When I started college, my initial “thing” was to study Behavioral Science so that when I chose to grow up into the teacher that I did not know I was meant to be (and that is SO not what I imagined it to be), I would be able to not only help other people retrain their brain to think right (and thereby act right), but more, I would be able to stand in front of a gallery of young college students and teach them what I know about our behavior and why we are so prone to trippin’ out all the time over things that we ought not be trippin’ about.

It didn’t happen that way.

I had NO CLUE that, indeed, I was meant to become a teacher of things, but not of things contained in actual academic texts, and neither of things, at least in the manner of speaking in terms and about things…academic…but rather and only in terms of bigger, more important things…things like daily walking the healing Path, and daily living a Spiritually led life. Little did I know that I would be able to use what I know and what I learned in college to further the actual teaching that I would do, which is not just right here every week, but out in the real world of souls which, in case none of you have looked at things in the manner that I constantly look at them, not everyone is going to end up in college, and not everyone is going to be able to discern for themselves what it is that is their “trip” in terms of what they’re trippin’ on.

Teaching People How Not To Be Trippin’

My work in this world became evident to me a couple of years ago, when I was on the phone at one point with the lovely April, and then at another point, the equally as lovely Dannie. One of them said that hula would be mine forever, but that it was not going to be what it had always been for me but would become SO much more than what ANY Kumu Hula could imagine, and she was right. The other said that if I thought that everything I knew at that point, and now, everything I know plus everything that I employ daily as a means for helping others learn, was meant to be contained and locked within the confines of the conventional classroom, I had another thing comin’ (yeah yeah shut up…I love my leather clad mahus…get over it lol).

Where one told me that I would never stop dancing OR teaching hula, the other told me that it would be through not only what I’d learned in college, but more, what I’d learned through all the crap that I had gone through for so long and that seemed normal to me. Even though I knew that the things that I had been witness to, things that I had experienced in my life even to that point, in my mid-30’s, were some of the most … horrific experiences… in terms of emotional toll taken, when it was that I was told these things and because of all of the things that shook my very core and shook the trust in others right out of me, I knew that I could trust my two best friends. I knew that I could trust them because they’d both been telling me things, sometimes outright, and sometimes in a veil of mystery.

A Veil of Mystery

*Clears Throat* …ahem…students…welcome to class today. This part of this writing is addressing those who I am actively teaching, those who are feeling like they are at their wit’s ends with my telling you each that the things that you want to know, versus the things that you need to know, combined with the things that I know and the things that I cannot tell you are what this is all about today.

Yep…don’t I know it? I know that many of you cannot stand the idea that there have been more than only a few times that I have said to the each of you that the thing that you are asking me to tell you is the very thing that you are learning about and that because you are learning that one thing, I am not able to tell you what you want to know that you already know that I do know, and you know that I know because I told you that I know.

And indeed, I have a problem with this one thing, too, and yes, my own teachers, to this day, STILL tell me the VERY SAME THINGS that I tell all of you – that if I knew I could tell you what it is that you are meant to be learning, I would. If I knew that what you are learning was something that I would not have to reexperience myself, that I would have to go through again, that I would have to deal with even though I had already gone through it, I would. If I knew that you were not as close as you are to where you are meant to be with this one thing, I might give you a hint, but I cannot just tell you what it is that you want to know because of one thing…

One Thing…

Yes, you read that right – if I tell you what you have asked me to tell you, have had a tantrum over not knowing and have told me that you don’t care if you have to learn it and that you will learn it and use the information that I give you as Cliff notes, not only will I have to relearn that same lesson but not for the same reasons that you, yourself, are learning it, but it will likely suck for me way, way more than it did the first time because – yes, I’ve already been there, I’ve already done that, and in sharing my cheat sheet with anyone at all, it is like my telling Spirit that I need to retake the test.

Think about when you were in high school and that one teacher with a hard on for NOT telling any of us what we wanted to know and realize that this is the very same thing, only it is not a grade you are working toward to get out of high school, but rather and only the armor needed to get through the next lesson you will learn in relation to the one that you are learning and that I cannot tell you what you want me to tell you.

The reason that we are met with difficulties in our lives, and the reason that things seem to come crashing down onto us at the most inconvenient times in our lives, and the reason that you secretly will wish my brain to collapse, dry, shrivel up into a walnut in my skull is so that we can master that part of our lives. Unlike the grading scale in conventional school and typical learning, being taught to navigate your life from the Soul out, and more – mastering it all – is hands on. This means that you don’t get to have a book, and you don’t get to have extra credit, and nothing that is familiar to you in terms of how you have learned things in the manner that is learning in the traditional sense – none of that will be of any good purpose for you when it comes to lessons in coping, lessons in growing, in acceptance, in Loving who you are. And really, THAT is what it is that seems to be SO difficult about all of this weirdness that you are all learning, not only about me, but more importantly, about you.

The reality is that in this lifetime we need some sort of guidance, some of us more than others, but not because some of us are more duh than others, but because all of us are learning something different at the same time. What I am learning is not what you are learning, but this does not mean that there is not anyone else on the planet or even within my own awareness who is also not learning the same thing, perhaps, as any one of us would be at any given time at at all.

The Karmic Thing About Teaching

Yes…there’s that word that you all love to hate – Karma, Karmic, whatever – and you hate it because every time I use it, you KNOW that there is something that you are going to learn whether you want to or not, and that what you are learning, I already know about, and that I am not able to tell you how to get out of. It just has to be done and I cannot tell you because really, if I tell you what you are learning about, I will have to go through that lesson of NOT telling you.

It is like when a mother is teaching her kid to behave – at first, we might tell that kid about what they are doing that is not okay to do, and then when they do it again and again, we want to trip out on them and tell them how to do that one thing that we know will keep them out of the spot they are in at the moment. Yet, every parent knows that the kid will not listen, will not do what he or she has been told will get them out of the spot they’re in. Most parents will go out of their minds about that one thing, will try, over and over again to get that kid to do things they need to do in order to get out of that spot.

In the same manner, students of many different spiritual paths will end up that same way. I know this. I was this student and more times than not am still this student, and like a rock-headed human being, I have a snit, and I beg and plead and ask and to no avail – still, I must learn, and still, my teachers, like I will not, do not budge.

So, kiddos, that is why I cannot tell you more than I tell you, why I will not allow you, as my charge, to not learn, because that is my place in your life – teacher. And I am a damned good one. I was told so…by my own teachers…and yep, haha….it was one of those things that I was not allowed to be told and that I had to learn…

I Love You All !

ROX

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Pack Mentality

Humans beings. We like thinking we are more refined than any other species, but we are not. In fact, we are more like the animals than we want to believe, and more than that, sometimes, we can act like rabid pack animals.

Humans …we allow ourselves to love, to be loved, and lots of the time, it works out.  Other times, we love, and the thing or the people who we love are not as loved as we love them, or perhaps not at all. And lots of us have a problem with this in the manner that is “you either are with us, or you are against us.” This creates within a person an energy that is of panic, and it is such, in the person who has not raised their own level of vibration to the point where they are able to ignore such things (read: demands), that it creates the thought, as well, that if we do not choose to run with the pack, we will be…not might be, not could be but will be…left behind, all alone by ourselves, with no one.

My thought about that is to just let them go….just let them all go.

You are not required, by any means other than what is your own soul’s energy about certain things and ways of being, to follow the crowd, namely if what the crowd is thinking runs against the tide of what is the truth within you.

The Truth Within You

We all have our own moral truths. These are the truths by which we live our daily lives. Sometimes, those truths are not the same as the truth of the many and the many will judge the one whose truth does not match theirs as being the lie. While it might be the energetic opposite of what the pack finds as being its collective truth, it does not mean that it also is required to be your truth. In simpler terms, say you go to lunch with your friends. All of you are thirsty. You all know what you want, you all order what you want. The server comes back with the same drinks, meaning that you did not get what you expected. You do not like what is in front of you. Immediately, you make the server aware of it. The server corrects the mistake. Life goes on.

Yet, lunch with friends is not the best example, even as it is the easiest. When we are talking about the human toll in terms of pack mentality, I am not talking about the toll of human life only. I am talking about the toll of human emotional life and human emotional life is something that too many people do not understand. It is easy to get ourselves involved in a sexy little drama, and easy for us all to draw conclusions based on the opinion of the whole, regardless of the truth …the emotional truth…of the individual.

The Emotional Truth of the Individual

Alrighty…let’s think about this, shall we? Think about the last time that there was something on the news, something that was very, very emotionally charged, where lots of people felt compelled to wrap themselves around a certain individual, love them, support them, only to, a little while later, find out that there were things about that person, or perhaps about an entire situation, that did not match what any one person’s ideal of anyone else, particularly the certain individuals in any given situation, was.

Now imagine that this energy, the emotional truth of the whole, based on the individual truths of each individual in the whole, is compounded by the hurt within each individual being made bigger through the pseudo-support of rallying against the certain individual, because the individuals in the group that is the whole have been fooled, or perhaps parts of the story had been hidden, and in that secrecy there were the things that the certain individuals did not want anyone knowing, but  more than that, things that the whole of individuals might not have wanted to see, let alone be surprised by.

What happens next, typically, is that the hurt individuals within the whole begin to compare their own emotions, their own feelings, through the stories that they have been conjuring…the “what if” and the “Maybe this is how” and really, this is how it all begins, good or bad, needed or not – when the time arises and we are in need of confirmations of how we are feeling about anything at all, and there is an entire population of people who are, all at one time, rallying support and love behind others within their tribe of community, we seek out the nurture of the Tribe.

Unfortunately, sometimes, the Tribe forgets that it is a tribe for a reason, for a common good, for the wholeness that is the family, and ultimately the tribe becomes a pack of rabid animals waiting and watching for the weaknesses in others, waiting to attack anyone whose opinion does not meet or match their own.  Waiting, and watching, as well, for those who will, not just protect the innocent, but more, who choose to not deem what the whole deems as right, as Truth.

Once again…that which is our own truth does not mean it is THE truth…it only means that it is ours

Our opinion of anything at all – in some cases, that is our truth, because it is the truth that we have an opinion, a preference, anything at all, about anything at all- is just that…our opinion. We are allowed by our very human spirit to form and to have an opinion, but not always will that opinion need to be heard or voiced by us. Our opinion is not going to be the same as everyone else’s, and may well run in the opposite direction of the whole’s.  Because we do or do not agree with someone else’s opinion does not make us bad or stupid. It is when we are willing to enforce (yes- ENFORCE and not FORCE) that opinion onto others via the matching opinion of others within the whole that things begin to take on the color of the Pack of Energy Vampires (I can’t call them wolves, because wolves are Sacred animals and wolves are also, in MANY Native American tribal traditions, the symbol for the Pisces…need I say more?).

The Enforcement of the Injected Opinion as Truth

It is not that difficult to lead people to think that one person’s truth, if it is dressed up with the right bunch of words and energies, is the truth of the Pack. It isn’t. Think back to the days of high school, where it was that only opinions mattered. It mattered to us all what others thought, and lots of the time, what others thought compelled us to behave in one manner or another. We either did well enough on our own because we were held as the one person whose opinion matched what might have been the actual truth, or, we were one of the many who, through the matching of that truth to our own, and given that we were not strong enough to vocalize that one truth, we were, at that point, suddenly part of a pack.

Now, think back, too, to that one giant rumor that spread throughout the school, and how, once it was that the truth was found out, that the majority of people who were off and running their mouths with a truth that might have sorta matched their own was no where near the actual truth in regards to what happened in actuality. At that time in your life you probably were glad that you were not the one who had started running your mouth, even though you might have been someone who’d agreed with what was being said. Now think about the people who these things were being said about…

…and now think about the things that were not true about the things that were being said about those people, and think, too, about how much of what was being said was not the truth, but merely the opinion of one person, or perhaps one group of people, and how much of the truth was skewed into the mix of the things that could have been the truth.

Think about the energy that surrounds such things, and think about how much each and every one of us likes being part of anything at all, and more, how much any one of us likes being part of what can be thought as being the “winners’ in a disgustingly nasty, men-involved, almost cat-fight over things that become emotionally heated over an opinion that one person or a mere handful of people voiced and others’ whose opinions were sort of like theirs.

It is not hard to adopt a Pack Mentality

We humans do not like being alone in any manner. I don’t care how many think they like to be exclusively alone, because for the most part, there are not a lot of us on the planet who like being by ourselves all the time,  and this includes in our manner of thoughts and of course, we love it when we are not alone in the opinions that we have about anything at all.

And really, we all love gossip. We love to hear it, and others, to create it, and still many, many more love to spread it, and the original message, the actual story, the things contained within the stories are the very things that get lost in the haze of the he-said-she-said garbage. All the while, lives hang in the balance, and as well, people forget that the more they run their gums, and the less they think about the actual human emotional toll, the more the pack mentality grabs our attention. And, unfortunately, sometimes even us!

It is hard to not let one’s self get wrapped up in the sensationalism, in the taking sides of things, of things that we wonder about, things that we are thinking about anything that is big and ugly and makes us feel like we have to take sides about .

Go ahead…take sides…the one called “your own”

I will not lie – there was a time, many years ago, that I would take sides. Then one day, when it was that both sides seemed to be against me, so to speak, I learned what it was to be the one person whose truth did not match the people or the groups which were having a difference of opinion from me. This taught me that it is not okay to take sides when it comes to things that are of a hurtful nature and that cause others pain that cannot be reversed as quickly as perhaps other things might.

How about trying this? How about putting your own self in another’s shoes for a moment, and ask yourself if you were who was being thought about in the manner that is derogatory and heated by the pack mentality, how might you feel if you were that person? How might you feel if you were that person’s family, friend, child, neighbor, coworker, employer…the list could go on and on…and the things that you have said, speculated, believed, all which may or may not be the truth, are the very things that you have to deal with? How might you feel if you were trusting someone, and they broke that trust, and even as you know the person who did whatever it was to break that trust would not do whatever it was that they have or maybe have not and are only being blamed for it, you chose to take on the energy of the pack?

Pack energy is addictive. 

Pack energy. We all know it well.  I know it really well. Over time, I have had to not only earn being the so-called ‘leader of the pack’ (in terms of The Sisterhood of The Soul…the healing group comprised of myself and a few of my cousins and a few good friends here on the west coast), but had to adopt the idea that what I say impacts all of them. No, what I say isn’t about “what I say- GOES”…it is about being able to represent myself to them, each of them, in the manner that is what I hope they can see in terms of my not wanting to hurt them, my not wanting to hurt the people who they work with, my not wanting to hurt me through hurting them.

In a short time, I have had to take who I thought I was and all on my own, with some help from teachers and therapists, and of course, other healers, my best friends, and the like, and become the best version of me, to this point, that I can manage to be, even with all the challenges I face. I did it. I did not think I could, and for a long time, didn’t want to do what I had to do in order to do what I knew I needed to on my own behalf. Which, easily, was to not get wrapped up in the energy that is joining the opinions of the larger populace in terms of what it is that we can allow ourselves to believe, all on our own, without the influences of others.

It is wise to think on one’s own, simply for the fact that sometimes, the pack is not right. Sometimes, it is your own soul’s leanings that are the truth and are the only truths you need to believe…

I Love You All !

ROX

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Impatience

Impatience. It is that thing that irritates us all. We are more inclined to want to believe that our impatience is because someone else made us be that way. This is not the truth. We are impatient because we know that better things await us…far better than what we are seeing to right this moment. 

I will be the last person to tell anyone else that they need to be patient. I mean, I will state now that I have been known to tell others, mainly coaching clients, that it would pay off a bit if they could garner the energy that is patience.  And if you think for a moment that I do not listen to myself and apply what I tell anyone who I am teaching anything, you have another thing coming, because always, before I apply anything that I am teaching, I try it out first – you cannot know if something will work or even be part of another’s healing if you, as a healer, are not personally aware of the outcome. I am one of those healers who, no matter what I am teaching anyone at all, truly knows what I am teaching people and it is because I always try before I have anyone else apply what it is that I am offering them as a method of self-healing.

However, I do have the tendency to grow into a very impatient person when it seems that things are not doing what they are supposed to be doing, and more, when it feels like I am doing a whole lot for anyone who is just NOT getting it in terms of learning. That is where I am right now, with myself, because apparently I have not yet learned to be fearless when it comes to doing things that I just would rather not do. I am like every other human being on the planet – I want things to be easier for me, and really, I have the right to want that, because I know that my whole life to this point, no matter who thinks or says what, I have had a hard time with a lot of things. My life has been a struggle. Emotionally. The thing that I know will make it be less of a struggle is what I am having a hard time with right now, even though I know…KNOW…that once it is that I do what I have to do, that struggle will be over with.

Yet, still, I am impatient and more than that, I am, in a manner that I do not understand, afraid to do this one thing. There are other options, but they are as appealing as this one thing. The difference between all those options and this one thing?

This one thing guarantees that, in the physical sense, I will be freed, permanently, from the last thing that is keeping me, at least in my opinion, from a lot more good things that are already in place. And it is fucking with my patience, everyday, and more, it will, if I do not do SOMETHING soon, begin fucking with my physical health, and hell no I don’t want that…but, there is that thing…that fear of the unknown…it is there because my whole life I have only had the instance of being told that something bad will happen if I do something as selfish as this one thing. I know I am not selfish. I know that I am not bad, but given everything already, with very few (but VERY VERY IMPORTANT) other happenings in place that have caused me to think about what is more important? My level of impatience at this moment, or the idea that doing that one thing will make things (I want to believe) a whole LOT better…because the balance, the pono, will be restored.

This is not my saying that I am always impatient. It is rather and only my saying that there are things that are …I don’t know what to call it all or describe it all as…making me want for the things that are already here, that I know are on their way to me, and all of them are great things. The thing that I believe is making me very impatient right this moment is that I know what I know, in the sixth sense kind of way, and I can see it all, feel it all, sense all of it, and every bit of it makes me giddy with excitement akin to that of a school girl.

Then there is the other side of that giddiness – the side that tells me and that inner school girl that there are still dishes to wash, beds to be made, people to see off to wherever it is that they are intended to go and to be, and all of it is going to take my working on it all, because all of it directly affects me and my life, and most of all, my level of patience, and, as well, my level of fairness in terms of what others need from me as a healer.

And really, I am very well aware of the fact that I indeed need to take a day off from other people and pay attention to me more, because none of this impatience with other people will ever go where it is meant to if I am sitting here ALWAYS doing my work in the world and never taking a break from it, even for one day. This is not my saying that I do not take breaks. It is more like me saying that it is time that I and quite possibly many others like me to start looking at ourselves and seeing there why it is that at this moment, a collective of us are brewing in a shit-pot of impatience, and a lot of us are looking at what everyone else is having materialize in their lives and the majority of us are like those kids at our own birthday parties being made to wait for a piece of cake that was made for us, because it is our day, and we are being made to wait, or so it seems, for everyone else to get theirs. When we finally get ours, we are able to drink our cake that was made for our day…through a fucking straw, which disappoints us and makes us impatient for better things…and it can go on and on like this for weeks at a time.

Sometimes, at the end of those long, dragged out weeks, and after a lot of working with people who we wouldn’t even really have much to do with if they didn’t need our help, we find ourselves drained and wanting for more of the things that as healers, we totally need, and right now, in my own life, I am aware of what it is that I need exactly, and more than that, I know very dearly and completely what it is that I no longer need and what is taking what seems like forever for those things, ways of being, situations and yes, people, to no longer be here.

And really…the ONLY thing that I continually ask is NOT when it is gonna be over with, but why it feels like whatever I was meant to learn has been learned, and that the thing that is making this drag on and on is indeed me and my fear of doing things the way that I know I should do them.

Doing things the way that I know I should do them has not been done because of one thing – I am scared to death of creating a Karmic energy that I cannot reverse.

Yet, I am not sure what I am more afraid of – that the Karma could be created through the balance that is needed, or that deep down inside of my soul I will have to live with what it is that I know that I HAD TO do, and still have to do, but the unknown part is what keeps me at bay. Being kept at bay, for someone like me – someone who actually LIKES to get things done so that they do not have to be dealt with any longer – causes me a whole LOT of impatience.

It gets tiring, in the manner that is almost like dragging a dead weight behind me, a weight that is strapped to me with a vice grip of knots, and then I, in that vision, look down and realize that the weights are not actually tied to me, physically, but that they are tied to the belt loops on the jeans that I am wearing when I have this vision.

The thing is that indeed, I know that I could break free of this…weightedness…but the way that I have to do so could cause me to be exposed to things that, with my pants proverbially down, could really be not that great. Yes, I know…the pants down thing is temporary, but if most folks know how many times I have had to suffer the embarrassments that I have had to in the past, have had to endure with my soul exposed like it has been, you might also understand why it is that these days, there are not a lot of people who I trust when I am in the middle of this energy where it seems that my choices for gettin’ things done are…ugh…and ugh-er, and I am just as far past done with so many things that, in choosing to NOT do what I have been afraid to do for a long time…well, it seems like all I am really doing is running in circles that have only purpose in terms of keeping me at bay longer.

Running in circles, the only thing we get is dizzy

Sometimes, I know that I feel like the only thing that I am doing is running around, again and again, in circle after circle, only to end up right here, like I am right now, feeling like this is it for me…the grand un-pleasurable experience that is being made to wait for things that you know are meant to be, not only the way that you want them to be, but also the very way that you have been shown, through your own visions and with the help of some deep, dear meditation, what awaits.

Yet, when does the time come when we are no longer waiting for whatever it is that we are being taught is finally learned? When does it seem as though somehow, the reason that we are running in circles is not because of anything other than being scared that what we do will cause things to become harder in the long run for us.

We could end up very dizzy, and not in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense, and when that happens there are so many ways, due to the energies that we emit, that in our thoughts there will be the one thing that we ignore, the one thing that we know we have to do, and the one thing that we have to trust, even though we cannot call what will happen should we do what we know we ought to and want to, is ourselves. Instead, we trust the karmic return on what we know we needed as being stronger than the reason that we know we need what it is that we need, what it is that we know is making us impatient and most of all, what it is that is making us so not be who we really are.

Impatience with a situation will certainly make a person not be their best highest selves

Perhaps I am here today having the biggest, yet quietest, tantrum that I have had in a very long time, but to say the very least, I believe that once in a while, we are all permitted, even expected, to have them. I am frustrated, really, with the idea that maybe what I am dealing with is NOT only the physical reality, but more like maybe something on the other side of the veil perhaps is playing with me, daring me to do things and fail in my trying to not do things the way that I have done in the past, because in the past things were done without a lot of thought, without a lot of concern for things that could happen.

So, I suppose today’s blog is more like me telling you that when it comes to things that we know we need, things like patience, things that will make things better for everyone involved, and we know that this is the truth, and the thing that stops us in our tracks is something that we also know is the truth, it is of tantamount importance that we weigh what means more to us.

I am not one who does not know what is and is not important to me or my life. Yet, it is the unknown part of all of this, the outcome, essentially, which, on one end it is needed because in doing what I need to do, what I want to do, what I may well have to do, it will cause more than only myself to be at peace and to live at a level that I am meant to. On the other hand, I also know that this is a lesson in no longer fearing what I should not, which is the power that I have been gifted with to make things pono.

I would like to know about some of your own experiences with impatience and feeling the weight of a decision that must be made in the manner that you know it has to be, and then going ahead and making the right decision for everyone involved. Feel free to comment…just be nice when you do

As far as this choice I have to make?

I’ll let you all know next week when I write the next post of #TheManaoBlog

Until then….I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

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On Learning

Human beings are built for learning. It is our freedom of thought and our free will which causes us to learn, or not to learn. The question always, in every situation, begs to be asked – “What Have You Learned?”

*****

I am a big believer in learning, and in teaching, and with the right teacher, under the right set of circumstances, anyone at all can learn whatever it is that we put our minds to. This is not news. This is not something that we all do not inherently know. This is the truth. The thing about learning, though, is that it is at our option if we will take up the lessons brought to us by Spirit, brought to us by our own soul’s heeding them into our lives. There is truth to the idea that we need very dearly to be careful what we wish for. Yes, it has to do with Karma, but more, it has to do with what it is that we have, through our souls, asked to learn upon entrance into this lifetime.

Lessons and learning them are two separate things. We are given lessons because we ask for them in the form of “I Wish I Had/Did/Could/Tried/Etc” and some of them are lessons which we were meant to learn upon entrance into this lifetime. This is what is meant by our being told to be careful what we wish for because we may well get those things, those situations, and of course, those people. We need to be very careful when asking and wishing for things. It is not the actual words spoken but more, the intention and the energy behind those things.

When we set out onto our days, and this is the hardest part to believe, it is upon waking that the things that we set into motion begin to play out, and we are none the wiser to it. This is what happens when we tell the universe that we want something, and it is not out of our mouths that it is stated, but rather and more so from the heart and soul within us each. When we are wishing death on someone, wishing harm on someone, wishing that we had never met them, wishing anything at all, and we have our emotional soulful selves backing up our play, we can guarantee that, even as we will not like the outcome, we will learn what we must, and the Universe will choose the right teacher for us to learn from.

This was something that I did not quite understand when I was a younger person. I went with the premise that we are the fools of an angry god who only brought us here to pick on us and make us into his slaves. This is really the way that my little brain perceived my parents’…hell…my entire family’s beliefs in a higher power. As I grew older, I began to see the realities of what was happening, and I realized, much later in my lifetime, that God is relative to who is willing to be enslaved, not by God, but by the people running God’s show. This simply means that what I was taught in regards to belief, in regards to anything at all, was a pawn of fate. I was taught that we humans are not powerful enough to think on our own, without some big, scary…thing…out there in the big scary Universe and that if I did things outside of what God wanted us to do according to the Old Testament’s Ten Commandments, that I would be headed for hell for sure.

The one thing that no one thinks about is that while all humans have the capacity to be followers, others, leaders, there are some of us who roll on our own.  We are taught “pack mentality” as children, and we are taught that majority rules and that our lone voice does not count. We are taught that the bigger person is always who comes out on top, not realizing that what we are hearing is not what is being said, but you can’t tell a kid that – kids will believe and know and understand through the mechanism of their imagination. They will believe that it is the bully, who is normally the bigger person physically, who wins, and with that thought in their heads, they will go on in life to be bullied, because we are not more clear about it when we are telling them what actually is the “bigger person.”

I am using this example because it is the one that draws a picture for us all as to how we learn what we do and where it is that our own methods of learning comes from. I used to be this kid, the one with the big fat imagination, but in my life as a child, things that were big were meant to be scary. It was what I was taught – to fear – and is also what I learned, very well, the idea that the bigger they, whoever they might be, are, the more chances that I would have at being afraid. This was the thing that I was taught in church, as well, because no one bothered to clarify for me what it meant to be the “bigger person.” I was not a “big” person. It was often said that I was “a stick,” was akin to a starving mantis who could not fight for herself, that I would be best served by hanging onto a pole cemented into the ground should a slight breeze visit my awareness. I had always been, remain to be to this day, not a very large person.

Imagine being a tiny little kid and being told these things. Tiny little kids have great big imaginations. It is our imagination which teaches us our mode, our method, our ability, our everything regarding our being able to create our lives. A child is going to learn from his or her own awareness of things, from his or her own imagined thought about what is, and what is not “big.” In my imagination, things that were big were equally scary. I was always scared of “big fat spiders,” and always worried that if I went swimming in what is my spiritual origin – the ocean – that surely a big angry Shark would come and eat me…funny how these days people refer to me as “The Mama Shark” in terms of getting my Artemis Spirit thing on, right?

How we are taught is as important as what we are taught, but certainly not as important as what we choose to learn

Choosing to learn is the part of life that either makes us or breaks us. Where it is that a person would rather see everything in terms of their own version of “black and white,” there is an entire gray area that no one thinks about, the area in our lives where we have no answers and where the only answers are the ones that make no sense, at least not right that moment.

It is not within our ability to learn things as much as it is stored within our ability to accept and apply what it is that we have learned. It is like when we choose to train our pets, or perhaps to train our children to use the toilet – it is not our method of teaching as much as it is our method of learning that matters most. Most of us want to learn the easy way, but that rarely happens and rarely happens because most of the time, it is the negatively charged happenings within the boundaries of our lives that cause us to learn. It is everything in our awareness that makes us know what is comfortable and uncomfortable and normally we are apt to remember what it was that we learned that was not so great.

This causes a negative energy within us that tells us that we are going to have to learn the hard way. This is how we do things, because this is how we are taught from a very young age that every action has its own consequence, and every time we do anything at all, there is a consequence attached. This is what causes a lot of us to stay stuck in the energy that we should not risk anything, that what we know right now is enough and that perhaps we are too old to learn anything at all.

Ummm…NOT

We do not stop learning. We do not stop being taught, if not by people like me whose job it is to enlighten and teach the ways of Spirit, then by Spirit Herself. We do not stop learning when we are granted a degree from college, and we do not stop learning once a lesson that we are aware we are learning has been learned. Always, there is a lesson that we are learning. Whether it is that we have learned it because we asked through prayer or meditation or whether it is that we set things in motion karmically, we are never not learning.

It is the reason that I tell people, all the time, to pay attention to what is happening in their lives, because they may miss the message being given. I tell people all the time to broaden their thinking, because it will make room for things to happen for them in a manner that makes sense. I tell my students to question themselves always, and tell them, too, that what they need to learn, they will learn, and it will be in the same manner that the harshness of life comes to them – raw, ugly, a jumble-fuck of a confusing mess that seems to have no end to it at all, and one that is likely a very important lesson for them to learn in terms of what they are here for and what their mission is and more, who that mission is to be carried out with.

We ask for things, and we are not clear on the reality of what we are truly asking for. Where it is that we are asking for one thing, it may well seem that another thing is what we get, and what we don’t get at that moment when it seems that the entirety of the Universe has the deck stacked against us, what is really happening is that we are being refined by the fires of life, are about to take on a lesson in the Firewalk of Spirit so as to create from the proverbial coal that we think we are, the diamond which we so fiercely want to protect and keep for ourselves when in fact it is meant that our brilliance is to be seen by the All Of Us.

The question “What have you learned?” is meant to spark within us all more questions regarding the question. There is never only one lesson to be learned. We must think of the things that come with the bigger lessons as the electives that are meant as the balancing act of the Goddess that tells us that we are to apply those electives and the learning from them to the big fat thing that we would rather avoid because in our avoidance of those things there is the energy that we do not have to face them at all. This is wrong. We have to face the things that no longer serve us, have to deal with the ugliness to get to the beauty that is within the energy that scares the hell out of us, or, in some cases, where learning the truth of spiritual beliefs, having the hell scared INTO us. It really doesn’t matter, either, because no matter what, and whether we want to or not, we will learn, if not in this lifetime, then in another one that we do not realize that, because we chose not to learn, we must return in body from Spirit to learn what we could not face.

It pays for us each to face the monsters in the closets of our minds, pays for us to know what is useful, what is memorable and worth keeping, and pays dividends in terms of making room for all the good things to come into our lives when we choose to learn to release what we think keeps us safe but in reality, keeps us running around in circles trying to find the end of the things that make us crazy, and not in a good, lampshade at a party sort of way.

Learn, for no other reason than that none of us likes to face our own demons, our own ugliness disguised as the monsters in the closet of our minds.

If we don’t learn to tame the monsters, we won’t find out that it was not a monster but rather and only that teddy bear we so loved as a child…the very one who was responsible for keeping the monsters at bay…

…kinda get it now?

I Love You All!

ROX

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Up all night

Migraines. Nausea. Uncontrollable urges to cry. Raging. Melancholy. Unable to stay asleep for longer than a few hours through the night. Extreme highs and lows which shift like the wind. All at one time. No, you are not insane, you are shifting.

 

*****

There are a whole lot of websites which tell us about this thing called “The Ascension,” and there are people in your circle of friends and family who might even be talking about something called “shifting,” and you are totally clueless as to what they are talking about, even though you are experiencing all these physical happenings in your body.  Sometimes you might see something out of the corner of your eye, and never before have you seen things like that. Sometimes you hear things that no one else hears, and sometimes, you feel aches and pains that you “feel” physically, even though, on some other level, you don’t.

You are not crazy. You are doing what is called “shifting,” and what that means, very simply, is that your physical self is doing what your Soul-self has been doing for a long, long time – raising its own vibration so as to accommodate all of the things which are also evolving in the grander awareness around us.  Just like “as above, so below,” the same thing could and does apply to the world around you and also your inner, personal world of thought, soul and feelings. What  is happening within you is also happening outside of you, and in your limited human thinking, you want to believe that you are sick and ailing in the body. The reality is that you are perceiving the changes in the only manner that any human being who has not opened his or her awareness to the point where you know that what you are going through is on the ethereal level and not only on the bodily conscious level.

Your Higher Self is expanding, meaning that you are opening up to a greater awareness, not only of yourself, but of the world around us all, and in particular, your own personal world.

In that way and in that awareness you are starting to understand in the manner that you never have before, or at least were not, until this moment, aware that this is how you have been communicated with by Spirit for a long, long time. Another thing that is happening is that, at this moment in our history as evolved beings, we are ridding ourselves of energies and things and people and situations which are not useful for our personal AND  our collective purpose in this lifetime, and, as well, our collective mission with the others in our tribe. What no longer fits in our lives, or is in not in accordance with our purpose, and specifically what is not aligned with our mission that we are meant to carry out with others, simply is just being ushered out of our lives and is doing so on a grand and global scale. Since it is that we are all connected to one another, we are not only feeling our own stuff, but that of the collective whole in terms of what others who are like us are also going through that mirrors our own stuff.

As crazy as that all might sound, the truth is that humanity has been doing this shift thing since human beings first traversed the planet upright and via only the Ten Toe Express. Now, though, in our very technologically evolved state, it seems that things like this shifting stuff happens at an alarmingly fast rate of speed, and on the flesh-and-blood level of awareness, we are not getting it and we are medicating ourselves literally into oblivion (mostly youngsters because they are having a hard  time with their own growing AND the shifting of consciousness) because we were never taught about how to really deal with the changes, and- yes – the generations prior to our own were bullied into thinking, and even believing, that what I am saying here and now is somehow the ramblings of a madwoman.

I promise you, it is not.

Let’s think in terms that are “as above, so below” for a moment, okay? Let’s think about the last time you had a very, very bad migraine headache – the sort that makes you deal with nausea and makes you want to hurl, and where it was that you thought it came from, even as it came from the same place that it starts with everyone physically (your liver…Google it). Think about the times that you were in such great pain, or perhaps you were having to deal emotionally with things that, if they were familiar, the headache was also familiar and likely brought you back to the thought in your head now and which was similar to then, which in turn also created the same energy that it did back then, but in the now.

The result was a familiar headache from a familiar feeling about a familiar pain in the ass from the past, no matter how distant.

And like we are willing to inoculate ourselves via modern medicine to get rid of the physical manifestation of our emotional and spiritual crap (lots of us turn to #thepharmaceuticals), we are also willing to believe that things within our awareness are the reason that we are Spirit sick, but in reality, things outside are not the cause, but the trigger.

The cause is within you, and the cause is why it seems so hard for anyone who does not know this stuff , to go through all of these spiritual shifts in our own awareness, our own physical selves and the things that are there and present. We are each being called to accept, to deal with and to embrace whatever it is that is bothering us.

By this I do not mean that we have to accept or deal with or embrace them in the manner that we thought was correct the first time all of the really big stuff came to us. What I mean is that we have to accept that we have been where we have been, deal with the things which have culminated over the years, not only to us but to those who we care the most about, and need to embrace the idea that really, this is all meant and is totally part of who we are because we were shaped, not by the actual “bad” things that happened, but rather and only how we went headlong into the fray, choosing to survive it, not worrying about losing whatever it was that we thought was going to be lost, and in that line of thought, we survived.

Survivors. I am one. I love people who want to survive, and I love that they are more willing to come away from something because they had the thought in their heads long before they even got out of something and long before now, that they were going to make things in this particular part of their lives, count, and count on a level that they even didn’t realize was why they went through what they did, why they go through what they do. I just finished telling a very close friend of mine (Hi Jimmy!…no spiders haha) that the reason he is being shown what he is being shown at this moment in time, by someone who he would rather not even have to deal with anymore, is so that this time around, he can say what he has to and needs to say to them, and more, so that this time, it will be with a different, more reasonable, less emotionally driven, more “oh NO! AGAIN?” but not in the same manner that it had always been in the past, kind of energy.

This time, my boy Jimmy gets to have his say so, and this time, gets to walk away from it all knowing, for sure, that he is done with whatever is the energy of that time. This is not only Jimmy’s, but everyone’s lesson right now, to accept that we get to say what we have to say, and we get to say it in a manner that is not like the assholes we once were and we are to expect that, no matter how the other person or party takes it all in and processes it, we get to finally let it go, all of it. And more, we also get to say “to hell with you if you don’t like it if I am not willing to play your high school games anymore. I graduated…deal with it.” Perhaps not in that biting of a manner, but I am sure you get what I am trying to say. You are older now, making you more inclined to know what is important enough to become emotional about, what is just there and being a pain in the ass still. The time has come to us all to let go, for real, of the things that still haunt us daily. Really, the only way that what is there now in the physical cannot be gone from our physical awareness until we have been able to evolve our emotions to the point where we are more tired than compelled to give a damn about things that broke our hearts and made us crazy. Very literally, like Snoop said a long time ago in a lyric in a song, the title which escapes me, but certainly NOT the lyric…it says, and it totally applies to those in mid-shift and applies in the sense that is the others who harmed us…“When you find out what to do with it, I’ll be done with it…”

And really, things like this are happening everywhere, for all of us. Where it was in the past that there was an issue and a situation that called for our emotional selves, and seeing as how we were likely much younger (making us much more emotionally inclined about certain things and FAR MORE egotistical about them as well) and much more able and willing to try harder to not only make things nicer for everyone else involved, but we were more willing to give away pieces of ourselves, only to come back to that energy that lived there for as long as it has been that the initial lesson began, so that we can end it, once and for all.

Ending things, as somehow hard as it seems, even the “bad” stuff, is needed. We need to let go of, finally, permanently, not the lesson or what we have learned, but the emotional stuff that we are prone, as humans, to hang onto.  Our egos want to hang onto the things that hurt us and pissed us off, and while it is that we are meant to retain what we have learned, what we are not meant to hang onto is the pain and the bad stuff – only what we learned. This does not mean that the memory of what we have experienced will go away, because it never will. It means that the way we perceive the memory will evolve into being just that – the snapshot of the thing that happened in our lives that taught us a major lesson about something and that impressed upon us the thing that we learned, and imprinted into our psyche the ability to sense whatever it was that we were given as a lesson so many years ago, possibly lifetimes ago.

‘Auhea wale ana ‘oe – please kokua me and pay attention – you are safe to let go of the pain part, of the things that broke your heart, again and again, and the things that raised the heat of your vibration to the point where it became toxic, and you are safe to rid yourself of that part of whatever it was that you experienced, no matter how long ago. If you have learned what it is that you know you were meant to learn, you can now close that book, and you can now safely, because you no longer need that particular teacher anymore, thank Spirit for that teacher, and in that same energy, you are also safe to release the pain, and the anger, and hell yes – that particular teacher- and retain only the lesson which you have been made stronger and more brilliant because of.

In their place will be the glorious incandescence that is You, shining white hot and brilliant like the stars in the sky, and ever stronger for the things that now, you know.

I Love You All !

ROX


We Survive

Light workers know that much of the work we do in the world deals with lots of toxic people. How we manage to navigate the tainted and torrid waters of life with these toxic people is nothing short of miraculous, because toxicity in any form can end a life. There are ways that we do this, and all of them point to survival, but the one thing we know works the best may (or may not) surprise you

I pray. That’s right. I said it. Deal with it. I pray. I pray in thanks to the Mother Goddess for having had my back all this time that I have been breathing and in this lifetime, and I have prayed to the Mother Goddess for peace and for transformation in times when I needed a change of pace and more, a change of scenery, and all the while, the one thing that I never thought about was not being able to survive all of the ugly things that were forced on me throughout the course of my lifetime.

I have said it again and again, that the thing about a person who has been someone else’s victim and what that person wants the most is simply to survive the thing that might currently be eating their life. It is true that there are people who share the air with us who will do anything at all to try to bring another person, no matter who they are, and likely many more other persons, to their proverbial knees, just because that is what they do the best.  These are the very people who cause us to have a reason to want to survive. It happens early on, when we are building trust with certain people, and while we are doing what we think we ought to do, there is always that “thing” in the back of our heads that is of a cautionary energy, that is there and in place to warn us, even as we might not heed that warning, of danger.

Of course, sometimes, those people who are toxic and who we end up spending an awful lot of time with…sometimes the reason that they do not leave and remain a part of our lives is because unbeknownst to them and to us, they are about to teach us an important lesson, and one that is a many-years long teaching, because what lies ahead for us is awesome, is magnificent, and is, in many ways, no way compatible with who we are when these very douche-baggish people end up in our lives for many, many years. I know this story, as I have lived it, and if there is one thing that I know that the people who I can do nothing about in terms of their being able to get a clue, let alone grasp onto it and learn why it is that this particular clue has come to them in the form of a life issue, it is the idea that until we learn whatever it is that these….people with ill intent…have to teach us, and until we have learned the lesson in completion, they are there and staying there in our lives until we learn.

Yet, once we do learn, there are other, better things that happen for us, and sometimes, those things, even though they do not completely make sense even as they make perfect sense, becomes the reward and more or less the diploma of graduation for us having survived it all. And how did we survive it all?

Easy….first we pined over things that could have been (been there, done that, but don’t have to do that anymore)…then, we got really, really mad at the idea that we did not see it all coming, and then it just kept coming, and soon afterwards we realized without realizing that what we have in our midst is not going anywhere, and that, no matter what, we have to do what we can to not only find our way out of such awful circumstances, but more than that, the most of us will end up doing like we always did – we dropped to our knees in fervent prayer, and started begging for mercy, begging for the other person’s karmic reward, and then one day, we grew up to the idea that we got ourselves into this, and that since we were able to help create such a situation, that we would also be able to create a way out of it.

The thing that we didn’t think about, even though we were correct, was that it was gonna take time, tears, patience, and a whole lot of other things, with one of the most important things being prayer.

Yet, while we were all children, sitting in the pews, or sitting at our auntie’s house – either way, when we were young, we were taught something very important, and that something is prayer. What we were not taught, though, was that praying to Spirit is effective, as long as those prayers are directed and embody the energy of Spirit. We were not taught this part. We were only taught that Spirit likes to hear from us, and that Spirit likes to help us, and that Spirit likes to do a lot of things on our behalf. What we were not taught was that effective prayer dictates that we must believe that the outcome has been set, that we must be able to see the outcome as being beneficial to everyone involved – yes, even the person or persons who caused our proverbial okoles to itch like we had plenty ukus, and through it all, we had to trust that our prayers not only were heard, but that they would also be effectively and ultimately answered.

This is all fine and good, but when you are in the middle of the worst hell you have ever gone through, effective prayer is something that anyone who wants to survive anything at all doesn’t think about. In fact, when shit hits the fan, it is the last thing that we are thinking about. It might seem like it is sort of cruel, or perhaps even a bit on the daunting side to think that we would be answered, because if we were really that well liked, let alone loved, by this altruistic being we cannot see, we would not have to go through whatever bullshit it is that we have been met with. When a person is in survival mode, survival really is the only thing on their mind. When a person feels like their lives are the very middle core of hell, there is not a whole lot that that person will believe in terms of some….energy…in the great big “out there” is somehow going to help us just because we need that help and want that help.

The things that visit our lives in the times when we are looking to the heavens and wondering if something bigger than us is up there and staring back at us are the things that, at one point in consciousness, we, without knowing and without being too, too detailed about it all, asked for something. Maybe we asked for a clue about patience, or maybe it was the truth of love between two people, or maybe it was work that utilized one’s own ethereal gifts, or whatever it was…when we asked, we were not clear about things. We were emotionally not able to clearly state what it was that we really wanted, and it came out as,and the intention, as well, was what it was, and what it was, at that time, and according to your own asking and intent and willingness to receive it in the manner that it was asked for – you got exactly what you asked for.

Now, it might not have been what you thought it would be, the way that the lesson was brought to you, and neither how you learned it, but the bottom line is that here you are, in the Now, and you cannot begin to see who you were back then as being anywhere near who you are now, and yes, you likely asked for it, even as you didn’t know that the way to get to where you are now, as a survivor, was meant to teach you to survive whatever it was that you went through, thereby making you stronger, quicker in thought and action, and more than anything, able to take on a lot more than you ever thought you could. While it is that the way that anyone who can call themselves a survivor might suck, will make a person cry, will make them be really, really mad at the world and usually pissed off all the time, one must admit that when any one of us looks back at where we have been and what we have accomplished, the lessons that we learned from these less-than-desirable people in our lives are priceless.

They are priceless because they were tailored by us, and we don’t know it, and because we created them, we know, too, that we can get through them, but we do not know this until after the lesson has been learned. I am reminded of the twenty year cycle that we all go through, and how it is that, after twenty years passes, in that set of years that passes, and at the onset of those years, beginning after the idea that we thought we lost anything, is when we began to craft the solution to our big giant ugly issues. We don’t realize that in the time that passes, while it might seem that there was nothing but pain and loss, the reality is that most of the time, it would hurt more to lose what we had at that time, because what we had at that time, even the people who are our teachers, was all we had and due to the nature of the lessons, were really what we needed.

The most brilliant teachers in our lives are some of the most clueless people.  They are clueless in that they fail to see that there are other people on the planet. They are clueless in that, when they see themselves as the victim and they take their victim show out into the world, they fail then, too, because they are too ready to take without reciprocating whatever energy it is that they stole from us under false pretenses. They are clueless in that, they themselves are in an ass load of pain, and in their cluelessness have failed to realize that it does not take pain that is going to last a long time to get over one’s own pain and that sharing that pain with other people rather than being able to get through it on their own…well, that is where the sucking of life from others takes on another paleness. This is when it begins, the harsh lessons. This is also when we learn to pray effectively.

When we learn to address the Mother Goddess with respect, and not with expectancy on her and entitlement on our part is when the effective nature of the belief in our own power as energetic people through the belief that we carry within us begins to shape itself. When we learn to be grateful for the ability to believe, based on the unbelievably horrible things that have brought us to our knees at one point, and then brought out our own glorious brilliance at yet another point, and we have, at that time, proof positive that we are indeed powerful as long as we are able to believe that we are at all times, and more, that we have help in the form of Spirit – this is when prayer works. It does not work when we are willing to make deals with and bargain with Spirit, because Spirit is all powerful and needs none of us to make deals with Her. It does not work when we are babbling some strangeness, in hopes that the Mother Goddess will be impressed by our rather large vocabulary, our airy-fairy voices and take our words as being the right and matching energy to our intention. It doesn’t work that way.

What does work is a sincere idea, a right intention, about the things that we know we need, things that we know can only come from a collaborative effort between ourselves and the divine that it works. It is the one time that we have got to have faith, not only that Spirit hears us, but that we are also faithful and just to receive what it is that we know we need versus what it is that we want.

Once it is that we can get our thoughts to be where they need to be and we believe that we are powerful enough and that our intentions are right enough and that everyone included in our “Dear God(dess)” thing we each have goin’ on, this is when we will see, physically with our human type eyes, the nature of effective prayer. There is not one person who can call themselves a Survivor of anything at all who does not know that this is the very truth of things, that this is the be all and the end all of the everything that has broken our hearts and made us all crazy with so many emotions that to think about things in our lives and every situation where prayer would have been the very thing that anyone needed.

Basically, if you want your prayers to work, you have to do like a Pisces and simply, without caution and without reserve, believe. You have to believe that you are being heard and that at the moment the thoughtful prayers began, that they were already answered…

I Love You All !

ROX

ICalledOutToTheWindMemeRJB


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