Monthly Archives: July 2014


Spirit, no matter what we may want to believe, never leaves us to fend for ourselves. She really only patiently stays nearby in our times of turmoil, like a good Mother will, to make sure that as we are learning, we do not end up the prey of our own emotional hurricane.


Right now there are a whole, whole lot of us humans here on the planet who are experiencing a whole, whole lot of turmoil. At this moment, a whole lot of us feel like we just want to stop the train and get off, but we can’t, because this is not a train – it is more like a hurricane, and unlike a train which we can stop, we cannot stop a hurricane. Like all else in the natural world, they are merely and simply a big, giant scary fact of life, much like the very ones which we all end up having to face and to deal with from time to time. At this time, collectively, we are all going through a phase of what seems like we are only just losing everything that means anything to us, myself included in that group. Right now a lot of us are in pain, in emotional turmoil, and not one of us wants to deal with it all, but deal with it all we must. 

My own life is rife with contradiction, on many levels, and with many people. There are very few with whom I can share my trust with, and the ones who I can share this with know who they are, and these who I share that trust with also are just like me – very guarded, not only because of all of the losses that we each and all have already gone through, but more, because while it is that we are trying to heal our pain from the previous losses, we are now being given more and more of them, and for the life of us it seems as though we have become the step-child of the Mother Goddess. I have to tell you now that it is nothing like that at all. It seems like it, but it isn’t. What is really happening is that we are all being thrust into our higher selves, being lifted another level in our own consciousness, and it is not a fun nor happy time for a bunch of us. 

I suppose I chose to write this today because there are some in my own inner circle who are very dearly in a LOT of pain right now, and it is all due to the idea that, yes, even I, need to think about what it is that I feel for real about these things that I am going through, that we are all going through, and not try to change a thing other than our ability to accept it all. 

Yup…kind of sucks, right? (right).

Okay, so, since we all know what we cannot do, we have not each and all, meaning the every one of us on this planet, and much like knowing what we like versus what we do not like, what it is that we CAN do about this all. In the physical world, we have to face these things, because the way that they have been presented to us all has caused there to be an insurmountable difficulty in trying to remain as who we are no longer. I didn’t realize this one thing until, in the wee hours of this very morning, it hit me on the head like a ton of bricks – the things and ways of being and doing and having that we each and all chose to have are about to become what we want them to be, or better than what we want them to be, and in order to get there, we have to go through this part, and yes, this part sucks okole.

Yet, when we think about it for a moment, and we think about the things that we haven’t got in our own control, and think, too, about the things that we do have in our control, and we realize that there is a balancing act going on here, and that we are bristling from the pain which is caused by it all, even as it does not make things feel any better, I know that I can speak only for myself when I say that, just like the scales of Libra, it is actually time to celebrate and really, time to look forward to the finding of the treasures in the rubble caused by the havoc.

That really is it, guys, and yes, this is likely all I am planning on writing today, because I am just not feelin’ it….I am just not feeling like I can say more, and really, I am just not feeling like I am going to get through this day without more tears falling. The only thing that we can look forward to when it is that we are going through all of this turmoil is just simply to look for the beauty in it all.

What else can I possibly offer you than that I am human, too, and that I can be all the healer I am but…today?

I am just Rox, and Rox is tired….

I Love You All


Reader Question : “WHY ME?” (Bruddah, why NOT you?)

We have all been there, and sometimes I still go there, to that place where we throw our hands up into the air, look to the sky and sometimes tearfully ask “WHY ME?”



I get emails from a lot of people wanting to know if I can tell them what their future holds for them. When I explain to them that that is not how all this psychic stuff works, I am met with sometimes angry people calling me a fraud, and when what I tell them has the possibility of happening happens, it is almost an automatic thing for them to call on me and ask me why it is that their lives suck so badly. When I tell them, and actually and also remind myself, that it might not be that life is sucking so badly as much as it is that they are not paying close enough attention to the things at hand that are drawing for them the route to the next place they have to travel on the Path and remind them that when we first started all of this trekkin’ on the Astral thing, that it was not going to be easy and that they would be shown things they did not like, LONG before they would be rewarded with the things that they welcome… they become calm, even as they might not be happy, because suddenly, all the things that caused them to look to the sky to begin with make a little more sense.

You have to deal with the uglies to get to the things that matter

I say it a lot, again, mostly to myself and usually within earshot (or eyeshot online) of those who are seeking what is their own purpose and mission in life, that the Path that we each travel, while it is a solitary one, is not traveled without guidance or without the company of similar others, and sometimes, that guidance is doled out by people like myself. All the time I find that I must remind some of my students that they are going to have to face their demons and they are going to have to take their own lives into their own hands, decide if they are ready to save themselves or if they are still more inclined to stand in their Jesus Christ pose (goodness I Love that song…Soundgarden, in case you were curious) and martyr them on behalf of others who would never even bother in the same manner.

You guessed it – they don’t realize that they can finally let go of trying to make sense of everyone else’s crap and give time to their own crap. And as usual, because they have been doing the things that they have been doing for pretty much their whole lives,  it seems like a preteen being fitted for her first training bra – very uncomfortable. To them it doesn’t seem like it is the right fit. They are not used to not being there for themselves in the way that they are there for other people. They tell me that the way they were raised is to do for others first, sacrificing everything they are for the benefit of other people, saving nothing for themselves and when they get to that point of “WHY ME,” they really are wondering what the hell happened and more, why does it keep happening and I am too glad to tell them why, even if they are not exactly, at that point, crazy about me telling them.

So, to the youngster who tearfully, and then angrily, and then quizzically and loudly asked me “WHY ME?” …well, kiddo, I have a question for you, and that question is “Why Not You?”

Why NOT You?

Why not you? Why not the idea that Spirit and all of and in all of her Wisdom and Power and Glory would choose you to battle through what you are battling through, simply and only because Spirit truly knows what you need, who you are, what you are made of and what you want? We never really know what we want. Most of the time we merely have an idea of what we want, but outside of that, it is only Spirit who has the clue about it and not us.

We think we know what we want, but the truth is that what we think and see and know about ourselves is not as grand and deep as any one of us would like to believe.  We are “surface bound,” the most of us, even those of us who are professionally weird – there is not one of us on this planet who knows totally what we want and for that matter, what we do not want. What you have found yourself caught in the middle of, kiddo, is called a choice, and as far as I can recall, back to my youth, when I, myself, was but a youngster of 23 years old, thought I knew what I wanted – that is, until it was presented to me the thing that I really wanted and when I realized that what I wanted was literally right there in front of me and at that time, I could not have it, but also, at that time, I refused, with a big giant vengeance even, to believe that I would never see that person again…this is how, and more, WHEN, I now realize,  know that my lessons in Spirit and my livelihood were starting to form themselves.  And yep…that situation and that thing that I wanted?

No lie….it happened, and I was right, and I am right when I tell you, young one, that you may want to practice broadening your awareness…so, when you are done reading this, send me that email…anyhow… (check me out…all..momming someone else’s kid and stuff lol)

At that age, we never know what the hell we really want, but when something is presented to us that we cannot resist, and we know that it is ours, as long as we are willing to put in the work involved ON OURSELVES, no matter how long it takes, we are working toward that one energy.

We are never not working toward it, even when it seems that nothing is happening. I promise you that something is ALWAYS happening, and while it may not seem too believable right now in anyone’s head, it is when things suck the most that we are not only learning the most, but also pushing ourselves further toward the thing that we want to see happen. Think about it – recall back to the blog about being in neutral but remaining in a positive neutral state. In that writing there are things that were written that tell us all that when we want something so badly and we are thinking and believing that what we want we will never have (because we are so damned impatient) – this is when we need to form a neutral thought and a thought that is not really positive in its manner as much as it is neutral. The positive energy from the whole neutral thing is NOT for the thing we want, but for ourselves, because all human beings are prone to protecting ourselves, even and namely when the thing that we are manifesting actually means a whole lot to us.

Please do not get me wrong – the neutrally positive thing was not presented to me until but a few weeks ago. Yet, once it was that I had learned (very quickly, mind you) just how dearly important learning this one thing was, once I learned it, it was ON! Once I learned it and practiced it (and am still practicing it) the entirety of my own life lessons suddenly became clear to me, and that one thing that I wanted began to make a whole lot more sense to me…to the point where I am not trippin’ on things anymore the way that I did just a mere few weeks ago.

The reason why it seems that all of our lessons are so …ugh…okay most of our lessons….anyway….is because for as long and as far back as each of us can recall, the reason that we did not go headlong into the fray of things where that one thing is concerned is simply because we did not know that the things that we are faced with that seem like they suck (okay so they DO suck) are the things that we never wanted to deal with but are the things that NEED to be dealt with, because in dealing with them we find the key to the things that we really feel like we are desirous of having in our lives.  

I have maintained, for as long as I have been doing my job as Spiritual teacher and healer, that all of those who learn from me must also learn better and more from their own selves.  The lessons that we are taught sometimes hurt, in fact, most of the times this is the truth. But always, unless it is our time to transition out of this awareness, we make it out alive and well and seemingly with a new glow to us because at that moment and from those lessons…that “OMG” moment….we know a little more about who we are and what we are all about.

It also shows us, most importantly, what we are really made of and how much we think of ourselves, and mostly, it shows us that we are worthy of that one thing. While I will not lie to anyone and tell a soul that there is not one more important thing that I am now thinking neutrally about, I will state that daily, in that energy, just like I saw what was my own instance of “Yay me” not too long ago, I also sense that same “yay me” about this one thing. While this one thing is no way near as important as the last “yay me” thing is, I can say honestly that it is up there in importance and at least in the top ten list of things that are important to me at this time in my life.

So, basically, to that young person who asked me that question and then threw your hands up in the air as though doing so would make this all a little easier to comprehend, the things that you are going through are not without cause and purpose. Our life lessons never are without cause or purpose, because those lessons lend to YOUR Divine purpose. We all have one of those, you know…a Divine Purpose. Just as it is our duty to learn all we can about who we are and our place in this lifetime and in this awareness and on this planet, it is our gift, to see the beauty in the excrement of Life. (think about how many diamond wedding bands have been found while a braver soul than I have gone digging through the “remains” of Fido’s day and you will have a VERY good example of this)

Yes. Gift. Gift because digging through the ugliness of life causes us to stop along the way and put down the shovel so as to look a little more at the pile in front of us, the one made up of all the hurt and all the pain, of all the heartaches that others brought to us and that we, alone, had to deal with. Think about the gold that you found in all of that wreckage and how it is that, sometimes, Spirit sends to our side people with other tools we can use or that they will use to help us dig through the crap., and know now that as much as will be the thing that you so desire is the gift in and of itself, that these others who have shown up are as much the gift  as anything can or ever will be.

Sometimes, it is through those others presenting us with these gifts of theirs that is the thing that we do not realize we are seeking out. It doesn’t mean that we have a chance to put down our shovel and take a break. it means that we have company on the way there. Sometimes that company is welcomed, and sometimes that company is another teacher who we might not even much like. The fact remains that you are learning, and you are growing, and all of the Why Me moments are meant for you NOT to ask me or anyone else what it is that I think of what is going on, but is meant for you to ask YOU that very thing.

I know this makes sense to you…

Aloha….I Love You All…



Click on the image and be taken to “…just Rox…

Things are actually moving quicker than you want to believe

Lots has happened, and lots is still happening. We want so badly for our lives to be “better” that we are not paying attention to the fact that right this moment, when you think about it, things are better than they have been in a very long time…



There is no one who can or will convince me that the things that have happened to us all and in all of our lives these last few months and weeks have been without cause or purpose.

Many times in our lives we have been met with things that have come into our lives without our thinking that the things that were happening somehow were happenstance. Lots of clarity has happened. Lots of people finding their other half has happened. Lots of completion. Lots of endings, even if those endings were somewhat and somehow more symbolic, even as the truth of those things are yet in manifest. Yes, you guys…the things that we each want and see and pine for are in manifest, and I have learned very well over these last few and harrowing weeks that it is best that we all just chill and let Spirit do Her thing, because when She does Her thing, everything else just seems to turn out exactly how it’s all meant to.

We might not like the way things are right this moment, but I have to remind us all that EVERYTHING we are going through right now is as it is meant to be. This simply means that as we are waiting for the things to happen that we each and all know are going to happen that we should try to do other things that are as important. I had to learn this one very harsh lesson, and it was a lesson that was well needed, not only by me, but also by the others who are all so dearly and deeply entrenched into these things that we are going through. There are things that I know that in my life are supposed to be as they are right now for a reason, and while I do not know the actual reason, I do know that the reason for the reason is in learning something. It is not only my lesson, but also that I am meant as a lesson for more than only one other person. In fact, every single one of us is a teacher as well as a student, and every single one of us is teaching other people, even if we don’t realize that we are.

Sometimes, the things that we learn are more along the lines of our having stepped away from something for a while just so that we can make sure that it is really what we want and need. More times, we are likened to stay in a situation long enough to drive us mad in some manner, to the point of tears and feeling stuck and not realizing that the stuck feeling is the lesson and is a lesson about endurance and how much of any one thing it is that we can tolerate. I found out, at least where it is that I am concerned, that it is a whole lot.  I can tolerate a whole lot. In fact, a lot of us can tolerate more than we ever thought we could, and it is only now that we are each scratching the surface of the things that we want to have in our lives, and the things that we know we need in our lives, and more importantly than anything else at all, what it is that we have learned that we really and truly do not need in our lives anymore.

This is not to say that we don’t need to be reminded of things that hurt us, because the hurt that has left the wound is waiting to scar over and become a battle wound that is the beautiful reminder of where we have been. Without the things that have happened, seriously, nothing that we want to happen will happen. Nothing that we need to happen can be, and nothing that we know is meant to happen is going to be able to do that unless we are willing to wait for it all. If there is anything at all that any person with a brain in their heads knows about that is irritating to no end, it is the waiting for the things that we know are in manifest to become the tangible reality. The funny thing about tangible reality is that while it is that we have been told “it takes work,” what we don’t realize is that the more important work is the work on the inside of us, the work that does not have a paycheck attached to it, and the work that hurts us all the way down to the very core of our Being.

The Core of Our Being is Where We Hurt the Most and the Longest

A very good friend contacted me today, one who I’d not heard from nor seen in quite some time. She stepped away from her learning, and even as I am not allowed, by the whims of Spirit, to tell this young person what it is that she has accomplished, the one thing that stood out the most to me was that she has come to that place where there is something in her reality that she knows she has called into Being, and there are things which are there and present in her own personal awareness that still make her ache. The beauty about this is that she was not afraid to tell me why it was that she aches so very much, or why it is that she now suddenly feels like she needs to have me teach her how to do what she must in order to not ache anymore. When I told her that it was not easy to do, and when I presented her with the thing that she needed the most, it was like I could see the light hovering over her, and sensed the relief she was feeling once it was that I explained to her that the things she has been through were meant, and that no matter how those things make her feel now, they are over with and they cannot hurt her anymore unless she allows them to.

And that is what all of us needs to understand, that our past pain cannot hurt us like it once did, because even though it still hurts, that pain is from another time, and that pain is there because we are hanging on to it like a crab hangs on to whatever it is that is caught in its claws. Like the crab knows what is worth devouring, what is worth keeping in its lair, and more, what is not, so, too, do we humans also know when something is worthy or not, when something has meaning for us that is beneficial and not only something that reminds us of how we ached so much at one time in our lives, over the things that happened to us, and over the things that we did not, at that time or all of those other times, think were temporary or something that we just were meant to learn about and then release back into the blackness that is the never.

The reason that we ache is because we cannot let go. We are somehow, all of us, attached to the lessons that we have already learned, still raw from the fears within us that came to a full head these last weeks and months, and we found out, in many different ways, what was, what is, what will always be, worthy of our energy. When finally we have something worthy of our grip, we fear losing it when really, the tighter we hold on, the more that we do not allow the life through the breath of Spirit into our lives so that She can light the way to the most perfect rendition of imperfection that we can conjure in our hearts and minds that we also cannot seem to believe is on its way to us, no matter what it is.

That’s right…all that stuff and all those people and everything that we have ever wanted is already here, already in manifest, and when we stop and take in breath and we figure out, sort of quickly even, that we cannot change the rate of speed at which Spirit does Her thing. We try and try to make things happen, try to do whatever it is that we can in order to make things go faster, namely when it is something that we really want to see happen a certain way, and to no avail – everything that we do with the intention of manipulating things to happen our way only makes us more impatient. I know this for sure. This is me. There are things that, in my opinion, are WAY past time for them to just evolve. “Get limu on top,” my grandmother always said, meaning that, like algae grows on rocks over time, so, too, does the sameness of the energy of all of these lessons we are each learning at this time. We all know how we feel, and for the very life of the all of us, we cannot figure out what it is that we have missed along the way, that would cause what seems like things going waaaay slow….well, guys, did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, things going on around us are going at the correct rate of speed and that maybe we are all growing so fast that it is US, and NOT the things we want or need or desire to be that are taking too long. It is that we are each and all growing at such an alarming speed, that it seems like life is just a mess.

It is, but at the same time, you are way ahead of the mess, with the end, or at least something close to the end, very near in sight. And …ugh….it feels like everyone else is dragging their feet, or like the weather won’t cooperate, or the bill collectors won’t stop calling, or the rest of life that is likely thinking the same things that you are right this moment. It just feels like you are all alone in it, even though consciously, you are not. You know you are not, but it feels like it. Imagine, though, what it would be like if we didn’t have all of life attached to someone else’s idea of time. Think about it. It seems like we are going through things again and again, and some of us are going through the same things, again and again, thinking that we already learned our lesson from these people. It never crosses our minds that maybe it is not we who are learning, but are now at this time teaching. It is like raising kids. At some point, as many of my friends and I are learning about our twentysomething offspring, we stop raising them, take a long look at them, and come to terms with the idea that we are now teaching them. None of us would know what it was like to be able to recognize what a hungry baby sounds like, or a tired one, or an irritated one – they all sound alike, even though they are all unique- if these tiny little people who’ve come into our lives and who turned into these larger regular sized ones who, at some point, no longer need us to raise them and they no longer need to teach us how to care for a human life that is so fragile for so many years.

Eventually, the tables turn and it becomes our turn to teach them. No, not how to pay bills, but that even their lives away from us will have grief, will have heartaches, and that how they utilize what they learn is all their own. Most of all, it is our turn to teach them about a lesson called Life, and not about how to create one in the biological sense – they all already know about that one- but about Life, and how to live it properly and without doing a whole lot of damage along the Path.

In that same manner, we expect other peoples’ lives that mirror our own in one way or another, to “get it” in terms of what we are trying to accomplish in our own live. When we get to a certain point, it feels like we have to stop and wait for the rest of the world to catch up, not even thinking that maybe what needs to happen is that we who are becoming impatient, need really and simply just to chill…myself very well included in this.

Think about it for a minute and wrap your head around what you just read and think about everything in each of our lives, as well as everyone that this could apply to.

Now think about your place in it all and understand that yeah, it sucks feeling impatient, feeling like we are waiting for one single solitary damned day to just not feel like we have to think about what we have to do, or what we don’t have, or anything else that seems like another thing that we cannot or seem to not be allowed to do, and think about how it seems like you have to go back again and again, just to make sure that you didn’t forget to do something…and most of the time, you didn’t forget.

It was just that, you didn’t remember, and really, that is what this is all about…remembering.

Remembering, because we really never forget.

…Loving You All …

ROXMaika'i Ka 'Oiwi o Ka'ala - Splendid is the form of Mount Kaʻal

When All Else Fails, Shift Into Neutral

All human beings have the ability to cause major changes in our lives, but the thing that we need to do is learn to let go of the outcomes we see in our head and want so badly to be the truth.



To have an epiphany means to end up having a sudden understanding about a thing. There are a lot of us who have had such things happen for us over the last few weeks, and over the last few weeks we have all been changed in some manner or another, and the change, by any means, is not a small one and neither is it the only one.  In fact,  inside of the one epiphany are gathered many others, and that is the reason why shifting into a neutral energy is important.

Think about it

When I was told by someone that instead of putting energy toward an outcome of something (because the outcome was what I’d wanted so badly, based only upon the things that I was feeling at the time), that I should think neutrally about it, it dawned on me that the way I had been going about things was really very much a large and annoying mass of confusion because the truth is that at that time, none of the outcomes that my logical human thinking could conjure were “good enough” for everyone involved. There was always going to be that one person for whom even as what I wanted, even as what it is that I still see as being the outcome of things, who would be involved and would somehow be the one who would be the difference in how things turned out.

And I can still see the same outcome, but the energy that I once had toward that same outcome is not what it was just recently. In fact, the energy now is very neutral in that no matter what the outcome turns out to be, it will still be what I need it to be, will still be what I know it is going to be, but without the negative energy which was produced by that outcome and the energy placed toward it in the manner that it was being placed toward it.

Once it was that I did what I never thought I should do, because the thought never crossed my mind, because for the very life of me I could not figure things out due to the idea that what I want I also need, and when push came to shove, there was only a handful of people who not only could help me figure out in black and white what I needed to do, but really, there were only two people who willingly told me what I needed to do and how to do it. That was the thing that I needed the most. It was not that I wanted anyone else to do anything for me, but that I needed to be told what exactly needed to be done.

And so, I did it.  I shifted into neutral, and when I did, even though at first it didn’t seem like anything was happening, all the while, behind the scenes, I knew something was indeed happening.

Bigger than I had expected

Make no mistake – the person with whom these epiphanies were brought to me, at least a few of them, that is, was not the person who anyone would think they would come from. Needless to say, the thing that needed to happen among all the other things which are in utero in the womb of the Universal vibe happened, and still, even as it is two days later, I am not so much in shock as much as I am in the energy of much needed (yet guarded…I am still human, guys) relief. And when I say that I am relieved, I mean that I am relieved that there has come to the surface a mutually agreed upon energy that is made up of a long time of pain being placed into the lives of myself and others, brought not only by one person, but somehow cultivated through the energies of the entirety of the whole of the group.

Were that it were not for the ugliness which ensued throughout the time from this past Friday to right this moment, these epiphanies brought about by having been through way too much as is, and finally, that moment of forgiveness of the self for not having been able to understand something for a long, long time came and draped us all with itself. While the relief is a long time coming, and while it is that there is still the rest of the journey from here on out, this is the starting point rather than an ending. It technically is an end, but not an end which is not somehow very dearly wanted and needed on so many levels, by all involved, that to think that having been trying so hard, for so long, to even gather a tiny bit of understanding from what has been a very big and ugly mess for a very long, long time, is impossible to wrap one’s head around. Yet, it is here, and it is real, and all those who need to know what has happened know.

It was not more than an actual shift in thinking that brought this to this point.

Like shifting a car into neutral

No. It was not that simple. It took many years for me to grab onto the idea that hanging on to the outcome that I would like, that even collectively EVERYONE would have liked, was not going to make things happen any easier. Had anyone at all just put it plainly to me that the thing that needed to happen was akin to shifting my thoughts from 5th gear to neutral, I might not be writing this right now. For a long time all I wanted to do was have some relief, and for as long, all I wanted to know was what I was missing – which step it was, that is, that I was not taking. While it was and still is that I am learning what I am supposed to, sometimes, when things are at the point of desperation, and the thing that is needed and wanted is just out of reach, and the things that we are taught do not include what it is that we need to do, and also when it seems that people expect that I would want anyone to do anything other than to just please tell me what I need to do, in plain black and white, without the shroud of mystery so included in all of this weirdness that I am still very much learning my way around.

Sometimes, we need to be given very detailed and strict instructions. When someone is hurting, it is our choice to either tell them what needs to be done, or make them continue to seek the answers. And mind you that neither of these two ways are bad or wrong.

While I am one who is willing to seek answers, the thing that would have been what I needed the most were the set of instructions, or at least a little hint, so as to allow me and anyone else to follow said instructions and test it out for ourselves. It took me a long time to think about what it was that I wanted and needed and still need to happen.  It really doesn’t matter to me what other people think of the way that I have handled this to this point, because there are truly very few people who totally understand what it is that I have been through, even though I have told my own story for a long time. I never wanted anyone to think that I was depending on anyone else to do this for me – I know better than that. All I really needed was a set of instructions, so that I could, through my own shifting of energetic gears from high gear to no gear at all, breathe again and have that ability to clearly see where it is that I now am. Where I now am is far better than I was just a little less than a week ago.

When we have the chance to let someone in on the secrets that we know they need, and so long as we are aware that we are going to have to do the work ourselves, it is not our duty as much as it is our choice to give them that alternative means of getting to a place which is agreeable to all involved. I won’t ever say that it is this person’s fault, or that person’s fault. It isn’t. I will say though, that, when I got to the very end of my own rope, and on the other end of the line was someone who had finally had enough of my hurting, enough of my pain, enough of my telling them that there are days when I just do not want to get out of bed, this person very gently gave me what I needed, which was simply a set of instructions. What I chose to do with those instructions were mine alone.

This is what anyone needs, but they do not need it until they get to that point where, in reality, the pain is so great and so looming that to not ask for the help is about as foolish as it gets. I asked for the help, in the form of my crying out to the Universe with all of the pain that was gathered throughout the time that I have been walking the crust of the earth. Only one person would be able to give me said set of instructions in the manner that she had, the way a best friend is supposed to, and as always, she was right. She is always right. It was not until someone gave me exactly what I needed, which was to tell me that I needed to simply just shift into a neutral position on what I know is supposed to happen. I needed to be trusted enough to be able to handle the thing that I had to do. It just took someone to tell me the black and white instructions, and the black and white instructions were put into play and here I am now, one week after the energetically violent nature of things came to a head, one week after the turmoil felt on several different levels and which had several different layers of hurt, of feelings of a lifetime of emotionally being abandoned by some of the very most important people in my life, are much easier to deal with.

When it is that we cannot bear the pressure of the energies which are within us is when we are meant to stop and take a look at what is pressuring us and why we feel the way that we do. It does not take a whole lot of things not going one person’s way for anyone to think that no one wants to help us. It might not be that they do not want to but that really, they are as tired and taxed as we are. However, there is always that one person who is always going to give us the hints that we need, and it is through our crying out to the Universe that this eventual shifting of gears happens for us and to us.

Where there is a lot of pressure in our lives and in our spirits is also where we need to take the pressure off of that one thing and shift our energies in to a neutral position, where the emotional nature of things which are created by our egos have caused us to become needy for things that are not of the best nature and are made to feel like this because the truth is totally that we need an end to things. I won’t lie – I still feel the way that I did in regards to the outcome that I would love to see happen, because it is an outcome that would benefit everyone involved. I will also not lie again and say that I have to have that one thing, because what I was given was so much more…insanely cool…that to bother with the other outcome that I wanted so badly is like not only looking a gift horse in the mouth, but also kicking said horse in the eyes.

Shift into neutral when it seems like you have exhausted all other means of relief. Neutral takes away the confusion and replaces it with logic.

I Love You All !


CANCERWATERELEMENTThis and more like these can be viewed by visiting

Randy Jay Braun’s website

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