Integrity is something that a lot of people are lacking.
…this has been written on behalf of all those people on the planet who are tired of having their intelligence insulted, their respect not returned, and most of all, their own integrity, based on the actions and words of others, compromised.
Frankly, it is bullshit, and I have had about enough of it…yeah…you betcha…I AM talking to you, and no, I ain’t talkin’ any kind of shit at all…because if what I am saying to you bothers you, then it must mean that what I wrote here is the damned truth. You felt compelled to talk shit, to say things about me that were not more than the tiny little thoughts composed by your tiny little brain…you, dollface, is who this shit is written for. If anyone is offended by what this says, you don’t have to read it…in fact, I prefer that you not. To behave and to think that you are above these words is telling of the reality of who you are, and more than that, you probably think that somehow, you are above reproach.
If there is one thing that I am not good at, it is being possessed of a nastiness for other people who need to check themselves before they wreck themselves. However, the one thing that I am better at not being good at is allowing acceptance in my own life for other people who seem to believe that they are pulling a fast one on anyone – I promise you that you are not. If you are trying to pull a fast one on me, you are not, not now, not ever, and I am very dearly offended at the idea that you think you can fuck with someone the way that you are doing now. This, after many times the question being asked of “what is wrong with me?” Well, my lovelies, I am about to tell you what the fuck is wrong with you, and no, I am not apologizing for my language, my demeanor which is akin to that of a rabid and feral kitten attached to your sorry face in this writing because there are a few people who will read this, who will end up ass hurt and who will go ahead and talk more shit about me than they ever have in the past.
To those people, I invite you to have the balls to say that shit to my face. You know you won’t. I know you won’t. What you will do, though, is take the liberty to talk more shit about me, in which case I am cool with it because the only thing you are doing is making me famous and you look worse than you already do. If you feel the need to do more damage and hurt more people and you feel the need to behave in a manner that NO ONE with a clue or an original thought would, then once again…I have been proven right, and again, talk all the shit you want…all it is is a testament to my being that one thing that you will have a hard time ever being…actually it is more than one thing….the first one being believable, the second being thought as being as smart as you keep telling people you are (it’s like telling people you are cute…if you have to tell them that you are cute YOU ARE NOT!!) and the third being that when I say something to anyone, I do so with the thought in my head that my words are all that I have. So when I tell people ANYTHING AT ALL, I try my DAMNEDEST to make sure that I am able to do what I say I will and if I cannot, I make sure that I do whatever it takes to make sure that people know I didn’t mean to not be able to come through for them.
I suffer fools not at all. In fact, if you are a fool I will have nothing to do with you unless you are able to come by it honestly the idea that you want everyone else to believe your shit talking, but you do not want that shit talking to apply to you. Lemme tell you what, Sweetcakes – if you have anything to shit talk about anyone else, and you can recognize it in someone else and call it out, then guess what – that same shit lives in you, too, and you are too arrogant and egotistical to, at a minimum, come to terms with the FACT that that which you can see in others is also noticeable in you. If you think for one moment that you are somehow a better person because of the things that you say you will not do that you know other people are doing, and you are ballsy enough to tell any healer about it, ballsy enough to bring it to the surface, and ballsy enough to call people out on it, your sorry ass best be ballsy enough to deal with the FACT that whatever it is you notice in others exists in you as well. If you can see ANYTHING AT ALL in someone else…good, bad, crazy, whatever…IT LIVES IN YOU !!
I said it so deal with it.
I come from one of those families where, on the one side, people are magnificent at talking shit, and on the other side, they are as magnificent at talking shit as is the other side, but this side is also more able to come to grips with the idea that if they can see it, they know it is something that they have to work on to make right or else all they are doing is a lot of shit talking. Shit talking gets no one anywhere, and the truth of it all is that if you talk shit, that yeah, of course it means you see something in someone else but what you do not believe is that if you see it in others, it lives in you. This is not my rule. It never was my rule. I know that there are a lot of things that I see that irritate the piss outta me about a lot of people, but anymore now I am more inclined to remain intact in my integrity and NOT talk shit about people who I do know, for SURE not talk shit about people who I DO NOT know, and most of all, if I talk shit, I know that the Universe is GOING TO send me someone to my life who will, without a doubt, call me on my hand and tell me that it ain’t no way anywhere cool to be talkin’ shit about anyone, at all.
When we feel like we have to do this, it makes us do all kinds of stupid stuff and that stupid stuff ALWAYS makes us make a decision from our emotions, and we all know that decisions from emotions are the sort where actions spawned from that decision will not be the greatest show of our own integrity at all because the straight and frankest truth of it all is that, hands down, the problem with your integrity is not…NOT other people. If you feel like other people have control of your emotional life, that is on you, because you believe that shit, and if you believe that shit, it must make what they said or did, and more than that, makes what you did in reaction to it, the truth of you.
…and another thing…
Whenever someone feels like they, in any way at all, have to hurt someone else to get their attention, to make ourselves feel better, and most of all, for the purposes of ego vindication, all the way around you are stone cold fucking wrong, period. There is no way that what anyone else thinks of anyone, no matter what, that will matter. You need to ask yourself if the shit talking you are doing is really about them, or is it truly about you?
Because the only thing that I know happens when we shit talk anyone is that either the shit hits the fan, or the shit lands back into our lap where we either have to defend it or prove it, and whenever it is that we feel we have to defend anyone or prove anything to anyone else, we are already wrong, not because we have to do it, but because we believe we have to do it. This is a mechanism of the ego, a thing that our smaller selves want us to do because inherently and no matter what anyone tells me, we are, to an extent, every single each and every one of us, an attention whore in some manner, and by this I do mean that hell yes there are people on this planet who feel like somehow they are important enough to have the right to talk shit, but in reality all they or anyone else really ever has is the option to exercise that right.
When you make it someone else’s problem, whatever it is that you are making someone else’s problem, automatically you are making them responsible for how you feel when for real it is all on you. If I could count how many times in my lifetime that I had the very nerve to believe that who I am makes it all okay to be saying anything, doing anything, promoting through shit talking about anything, about anyone at all, I know that I would need more than a dozen pairs of hands and quite possibly twice as many pairs of feet. That’s right – I am an expert shit-talker, as you can tell, but the grand difference between us is that I won’t call anyone out by their name, not in writing, because then I am being just like you. I know who you are, and at this point I really don’t give two fucks about if you know who you are because I would never do the shit that you do, and if I did, it would not be on purpose and for sure it would NOT be to make myself feel better about me. I don’t have to shit talk anyone to do that. I am me. Not everyone is going to like me, love me, want to be around me, and that is okay, because the one thing that I know that no one can ever call me on is my integrity.
That is what this writing is all about, and if you can see you in this ugly picture I have written then you have a large and ugly problem that is not mine even though you want it to be anyone else’s but yours. This is the truth. And the fun part for me is that you know this is the truth.
You want to think that you are worth the shit talking that you are doing, but you want to also believe that the person who you are talking shit about is somehow not the same caliber person as you are, but I promise you that you are not any better than they are and that hell yes if you can see what you think is wrong with them I am telling you now that the truth of the matter is that you also possess that same trait and that THAT is the reason why they irritate you so much. You want to believe that you are better than others, but you are not. You want to believe that you are smarter than the other, but you talk too much shit, so much, in fact, that you cannot likely remember the shit that you have said. This is also another added boon to people like me – when a person is not inclined to talk shit but to just talk, period, it is like telling the truth versus living a lie : When we are truthful, we have nothing to conceal, but when we are not truthful, we have to work hard to cover a thing that is going to be found out anyway, and the fun part is that it will likely be you who blows your own cover. I don’t have to prove this, because I lived this…
It took me a whole lot of years to fix a reputation that I alone did not build for me, and what a reputation it was…one that was rife with my being called a whore, my being told that I am crazy, and my being told who I am and what I am and in accordance to what the hell other people assumed of me. I told them, and now I am telling you, and you know who you are, that you are never going to ever be the same caliber person who I am, and no amount of talking shit about me or anyone else is ever going to change that. Only you can change how small you feel, and only you can tell you the truth about you. The truth, at this moment, about you is not a great truth at all, I would imagine.
I say I would imagine because I don’t like looking back at all the non-truths that ass hats like you have always swore was the truth of me, but we both know the truth, and the truth is that people who talk shit get talked shit about.
People who back their shit up?
Well, I know I got nothin’ to hide, from anyone, and I promise anyone reading this that unlike people who have little or NO integrity, when I say that I will do something, when I say anything at all, you can depend on it being the truth. It will be the truth because no one likes being someone else’s fool. And at this time you are my fool, and I say so for one thing, Love…that one thing is that there are not too many secrets that anyone can keep from a strong Empath whose intuition kicks into high gear long before I care to accept that someone who calls themselves “my people” is found out to be not so much a liar, but an attention whore and one who is fond of calling me what they will but one who is not that great at keeping their Integrity in full tact.
…and the reason that your particular integrity is not in full tact is because you chose to bare your teeth and your claws and your smallness along with all that shit you talked.
I forgive you, but I promise that I will not ever forget. You know who you are. You have been found out.
The ‘duh’ in this is on you, certainly not anyone BUT you. STOP blaming other people for your sorry smallness and grow your own fucking bigness.
The only thing you really need to do is to get a clue.
Too bad you cannot do like tampons and buy yourself a box, just like you cannot lube your ass with a tube of integrity you think you can buy.
Integrity…it is not something you just have. It has to be cultivated.
Sorta like those fairy tales you keep giving to the world…you should commit them to paper and make something of your life. At least people with a tiny brain who should have a tiny brain because they are tiny in stature and age will believe you…anyone with a clue?
Try me…because I have a clue, but I promise you that you will not be getting away with your shit talking, your lies of omission, and the idea that you can pull the wool over the eyes of a person who does not need to see things physically…you know who I am and what I am, yet you think you can still hide shit from me…
Nope…have balls to at least back your own shit up and if you do not have them or will not bother to try to grow some, then please go fuck yourself.
To the nice people with loads of integrity who read my blogs anyway…sorry if your eyes feel like they might bleed from the cutting words which, yup….I mean every single one of them. They are not meant for you…but really, I am sure you have been right here where I am, right now.
I have had enough of small brains backed up by big mouths and a bigger energy that is the cluelessness that comes from having gotten away with talking too much shit about one too many people.
I am quite positive that you know who you are. More than that, I am quite positive that you will have nothing to say to me, because you are not the caliber person I am.
I am also quite positive that now you know this
I Love You All….yep…even the people to whom this is telling that they need to get a fucking clue about having even the tiniest bit of anything remotely having the appearance of Integrity…
I LOVE YOU ALL !
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Healing with Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui – The Sisterhood of The Soul. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer , Public Speaker, Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse Survivors Advocate and Spiritual Coach. If you would like to contact her for speaking engagements, Spiritual Consultations, or for anything else, please send an email to email@example.com
(c) Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved