Monthly Archives: June 2012

Our violent society is a peek into our lives at home

A violent society is a society which got that way through violence “at home.”
We can keep on telling ourselves that “it happens to other people, not us,” but the truth is that our violent society is a larger picture of the violence in our private lives and private homes

We can deny it all we want, but there is nothing in the news that tells any one of us that we are not living in some of the most violent times in any of our lifetimes. We have failed ourselves by shunning our gentle human nature and have called our inborn human ability to Love as being weakness, but the weakness is not brought to us through means of over-loving each other. Our weakness is caused by the fractures in our collective thinking that prods us to try to one up one another, to compete against and try to best each other, and when we have finished making yet one more mess that society has to clean up, we want to ask how it came to be this way.

The answer is easy. The answer is right before our eyes, and the answer is something that we as a whole have decided to call “normal,” but I defer to the idea that any time anyone of us hurts through means of another’s physically violent act it is because the person who lashed out at someone else came from a place where he or she witnessed a whole lot of violence, all the time, and this is how said person responds to what it was that they were taught. 

We don’t think of the larger picture, of the thing that we have created. We want to blame our born rights to bear arms and to protect our homes and our lives from the monsters that lurk in the night. We want to take away rights of good people who would do no harm to anyone ever, not in the context that this is being written in, and we want to blame society for problems which. at their onset, were problems that were hidden from the prying eyes and the judgment of a society where there is no mercy but for that which is doled out in favor of pats on the back rather than a change in the collective thinking.

We want to strip good people of their rights to feel safe while coddling those who would bring our nightmares to full life and in our faces and we want the same society which has shunned those who quietly suffer in many ways to fix a mess that it has survived on, and we want to take away things that are no anywhere near what we, in contrast to it all, need to add to in many ways.

The only way to fix this mess is to teach another lesson

We have come to the place in our lives collectively where it seems that the majority still is the major deciding factor in all that we do as a unit. But what we are not doing is fixing a problem. What we are doing is covering it up with yet one more law which will not govern the lives of the violent in proactive ways. We keep sending them to prisons before we even think to send them to rehab and we keep on enhancing the idea that if someone is beaten up or stabbed or shot that spending time with other violent people is somehow going to make whatever it is that we are trying to accomplish seem like a far away thing for us. The reality is that these people are the product of a lack of Love, because not everyone who grows up in a violent family or who grew up or grows up in a lesser-than-desirable-in-the-eyes-of-society neighborhood is expected to be a violent person. 

Exposure to violence begins early in life, usually at home, and becomes “normal” for a whole entire segment of people who do not know better than to beat the hell outta someone in order to get their point across.  

It is not rocket science that this would be the truth, is not something that someone has to start a rumor about for it to be known and accepted as the quietest reason as to why it is that there are children who grow up without two parents in the home, accepted as why we need more prisons and why it is that we need all the shrinks in our society that we need. 

What we need is not hard to figure out

We, as a whole, badly need to restructure our lives around a mission in our private lives which is based and founded upon Love. We think that we lack economic strength and we want to believe that violence only happens in neighborhoods where the main income for a family is through the local Dept of public Services office, but this is not the truth. The truth is that societally, we have failed ourselves. We have made it a good thing to label harsh corporeal punishment on children as being a parent’s religious right to ‘discipline” their children, and we have made hazings in both high school and college level athletics a thing which sorts through the pansies in our midsts for the tough guys, but what we rarely think about is that someone at one time in history made it the rule to hurt people, to make them out to be too soft for a world which will chew us all up and spit us out as though that is what we all have to look forward to.

Well it isn’t and it never had to be! We are who changes the thinking of the collective whole by being the first one to take action on what it is that we want to see happen in the world around us which leads to things changing on a community level to an entirely different level of change where we can see it and feel it sweeping through our lives like a strong desert wind at sunset.
Violence has become our shameful birthright, but it doesn’t have to stay this way. I have said it before that light kills the darkness and that only love can kill the demons within us all.
Only Love can tame the fires of hatred and anger which leads us out of our homes and into a society which does not realize its own frailties and neither accepts that we are who made it the way that it is now. 
Since when was it ever ok to make people hurt rather than to help them grow? Since when was it that we chose to just turn a blind eye and more, when the hell are we going to be the first one to stand up and be bothered by it enough to do something about it?
When will we bother, guys?
I Love You All !! 
ROX 

 
  

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That which hurts us – The ugliness caused by cluelessness

Society needs to stop punishing kids for the sins of their parents.
We give them all the tools they need to be all they can be in life, but we do so without realizing the things that we have given to our children in its entirety…yes, even the bad stuff

We are who are responsible for the bullying problem in society today – us, the parents of the kids who we hear about on the news each day who push and hit other children or who, on the other side of that spectrum of violent behaviors, bring firearms to school and blast away at a population of people who also came from someplace where it was not ok to be imperfect, not ok to have an opinion, not ok to be young and new and have an imagination and most of all, not ok to be who you really are.

We want good kids, and we think and believe that we have to be punitive in the manner in which we teach them right from wrong. There is such rampant abuse happening in our midst these days and the only answer to the silent call to rise up and save our kids is to make sure that upon our rising up to save them that we do not in the process end up wrecking anyone else. This is the challenge for us. We want to better our world through not being awful to people but we are not sure where to put up the boundaries which will keep us safe from the monsters which live in the closets in our minds. We want to make sure that we never hurt and that our own kids never hurt, and even as we know that this is a fleeting notion at best, still, we try.

We try hard to shield our little girls from heartache by telling them that boys are bad for them and then we wonder why it is that these same daughters grow up to seek the attention of men who are bad to them. We try hard to instill into our sons that it is never ok to hit or push anyone, namely a girl, and in the same breath that we tell them not to hit people or to cause pain to others, we threaten them, even silently, with the idea that if they do not use corporal physical punishment on people who would dare hurt their sisters, they are somehow going to grow up a pansy. These messages would confuse a Rhodes Scholar, yet this is the message that we unwittingly send to our kids every single day, and we do it without thinking that somehow this is a mixed massage at best, and a dangerous message at worst, trying hard to not think about how confusing these same messages were for us when we were kids.

Lest We Forget

When we are kids we believe that what is happening right now and in this moment is forever, that the way that we feel, good or other than good, is how things will always be, and what we cannot think about at that point is that we are not aware of how true that thinking or those thoughts are. We forget a lot of what happens to us as kids, forget the feeling that we got from one particular event or another, but when our own kids go through what they will very quickly we begin to remember the shards of our lives that caused us to be scared of what or who we are scared of, caused us to form thought patterns which would later govern our lives and forgot that the things that made us uncomfortable as kids are still those same things that make us that way now – it is what we are doing with those thoughts and those feelings that make or break us now.


We do not realize it then what we see as bad as being the thing that will haunt us for the rest of our lives or at least long enough that those demons which have been so prevalent in our lives still live within us and are what make us do or say what we will. We cannot hope to stop the madness that is the lives of our youth these days if we are not willing to also look back at where we have been and what it was that tried hard to suffocate our spirits and crush our souls, even as those actions taken against us were and still are, in a lot of cases, the things which guide us now.

We cannot choose to forget the painful things that we have each gone through and we cannot expect to not repeat those things over and over again with our own kids unless and until we are willing to address the demons and call them all out by name.

We will not get our kids past the idea that who they are is fine and dandy, and to hell with everyone else, unless and until we also ultimately come to the acceptance that the demons live because we let them. We can go on hating our demons, allow those demons to take residence in our minds and in the lives of our children, or we can love the demon, see where it is that it hurts so badly, and remember at that point that it is not a demon which we are looking at but our very selves.

Only Love kills the demons, guys…

I Love You All !!
ROX


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