Tag Archives: love

It Scares You, Doesn’t It?

plumeria12

What would you do if challenged to help, for real, using only who you are and what you do? What would you do if you were given the chance to be there, for real, for anyone at all and actually mean it?

We humans like believing that we help everyone we can. While this might be tangibly the truth, what is also the truth is that the underlying energy of the reason why we want to help others is not what we even think about.

The truth is that when we help someone else, we are also helping ourselves.

Work with me for a moment, will you? Let me take you someplace that not a lot of Professional Weirdos are willing to take anyone who ought to want to go to those proverbial places that we all want to visit but are scared to death to do that.

Yes – scared to death. We are terrified of doing right by others, because we do not know how to feel okay with ourselves without also feeling guilty for having felt like that (truth), and on the other side of that, others are scared to help because those others, even while they will not admit it, are doing things solely for the purpose of being thanked and knowing that they were depended on, meaning that to some degree and specifically if they do not realize this, was all about controlling someone else through measures of instilling guilt, shame, self-loathing, into the person who they are claiming they want to help.

And the most …not thought about…part of all of this helping others and the manner which we are doing it, and the reason why we each and all particularly have in terms of helping others. I can say right now that there was a time, a long time ago, that I would help damned nearly anyone who ever came to me for my help. Little did I realize that sometimes, those people were not playing fairly, using my words against others as though that is what my intention was when I began to work with them. When what I told them was used against the person who they were trying to be with, and also worked against these particular clients’ plans other than what I was hoping they would do (which was simply to heal themselves and learn from the harsh things going on in their lives, but they didn’t), I became very upset, to the point of rage. No one needs that.

There were times that I wanted to help them so that they could help me not feel guilty for not putting myself, my beliefs, my values and who I am aside, for not dumbing myself down, for not failing me, but in those times, I reminded myself that being manipulated to help someone else, by that someone else, was not going to help my cause of helping people help themselves be better at being who they really are. I reminded myself that I cannot help everyone, because the truth is that not everyone is able to be helped. You see, that is the part of being able to see one’s own self from a third person point of view – the ability to see where it is that perhaps we might need to work on ourselves. I get a lot of emails asking me about my reasons for doing things for other people and other groups of people, asking me why it is that I do not demand pay for these things from some of these groups, and the truth is that the groups in question are typically not groups of adults, but groups of kids whose parents are not able to help them in the same manner that someone else’s mom whose mission in life is imparting the truth onto the populace.

The only thing that I can say to these and in answer to these questions is because kids need all the help that they can get, because they are kids. I then ask these people if they recall being a kid, at any age, and how at all times they were terrified of everything, and usually I will remind them that the reason they are asking me that specific question is already they are revealing their fear to me. They are revealing that since they do not understand my own reasons as to why I charge certain people a certain rate, and others, I do what I do for the love of my work – that since it is that they would not do the same thing, that they will judge someone like me who has no problem doing what she can with what she has been given if it means that just one more person on this planet learns something.

The reason that anyone is afraid to help is, I think, also rooted in the fear that we will be asked to help others, others who we might not want to help at all, and into play comes that ego-self reaction of feeling obligated to help when really, we might not be able to help someone else, not because we do not want to, but because we are not the right type of healer for them. No one likes letting anyone else down, and really, no one is obligated until and unless they obligate themselves to whatever it is that they have named their cause for the moment. My cause for the moment is, as I have already mentioned, to do what I can with what I have been given so freely, to those who need what I can do…yes, sometimes I do this shit for free. Deal with it.

We have been guilted for generations to help others, ALL others, just because we have been told that we have to do this. No, we do not. You would not help a group of people who form groups of people who seek out the weak and vulnerable among us so that those in that group could further their cause, would you? Of course you wouldn’t. However, you would do something for someone like yourself, someone who you could relate to and someone who you could possibly have a pretty good effect on the lives of both you and the person who you have chosen to help, simply because when we help, we are doing what we are all supposed to be doing with what it is that we do anything at all with. We are not here to be ultra cool and groovy, creating these lives filled with love and wonder, and keeping it all to ourselves, at all. We are not here to decide who is and who is not worthy of our help, for the simple fact that when we need to know, need to learn, need to have that instance of what is part of the purpose we are in this lifetime, and our part in our mission with the tribe of souls on this planet in this lifetime, so that we, through that effort and the use of those gifts, will not only be able to help others who we can help, but more, to teach us the reality that is “judge not, lest first ye shall be judged,” and to also know who are the least of us, who are those who deserve to know what is our inner state of giving, and those who we will learn the very most from, even if we never, ever meet them face to face.

This is what is our collective, global mission – we are in place to be of good service to and for one another, but never to be in servitude, which is what a whole LOT of people feel like they are doing when they are asked to do anything for anyone else. This is not the truth, and no you are not obligated to do anything out of your not wanting to feel guilty. You are not supposed to help if you feel obligated, but go and help anyone who the sacrifice, if that is what you must see it as, will be worth the value of the reward in energy that you, yourself, will create for you, for those others in need. Don’t think of it as being something that you just cannot get into, because service to all of humanity is different than being enslaved by the grind caused by the thing that you have been told all of your life is actual charity. Charity is NOT you giving things and money away for free to strangers (okay, so, technically it is BUT…I think you know what I am saying). but you taking the time to care about other human beings who you are trying to make things a little better for.

It does not make you a patsy, or a sucker, and it does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you very strong to know that on some level, even a tiny little one, you have helped to at least make the thought that you helping is somehow going to score you brownie points with your mother’s god and so that he will not strike you down for not doing what you were told by your unenlightened and controlling pastor who may well be getting a kick back from all of the campaigning that you are doing on behalf of the church he is not giving credit to the congregation for having done a stellar job in terms of caring for the global flock. (Yup, I have issues with church and organized religion…like I make it a secret or something)

I suppose that my point today is that you are meant to help others, without guilt and without feeling guilty if you do not or cannot help with certain others – that is not your fault, and you are not here to save the world. You are here to beautify your world with others like you and who live within that world, for no matter how long a time they are there, so that together, you can, with them, become your purpose, serve your mission with them and with others like them, for a common cause, which typically is not ever a bad cause, really. In my case, it is helping those who are just like me…moms with kids, women who have survived the bad moon rising of domestic violence and emotional abuse, parents who want every kid within their reach to have the best chance at a great life, all created by their own dreams and their own hands….and most of all, those who, by the very grace of the Goddess, have the ability to reach out to the world, to teach it how to live in harmony with itself, to learn to live without apology, and to Love without condition, to live within the bounds of our own personal level and energy of integrity, and to be the shining example of keeping hold and never letting go of each of our own born-into-it Kuleana, our personal responsibility, as handed to us by the Goddess, cultivated within us through the desire to see good in the world as it really is…organic…

….but mostly, to never lose sight of the one thing that should be the prize that all of our eyes are upon, at all times…

…the ability to fully Be Love, and by that measure to Be, In Love… Being, In Love, is not the sort that you might think when you see that term. It is nice to be In Love with one other person who you share so very much in common with (Hi Maestro…Muah). Yet, to Be, In Love, means to always live within a presence of Love within the confines of one’s own life, to Be in the Love that is within one’s own self and for one’s own self, and to know that even when things suck, we have the option to Be, In Love, or to be in turmoil from not ever thinking that the most loving thing that we can ever do for ourselves is to do what we do for those whose mission in life is the same as ours…I just said what it is….I’ll say it again…

 

Nike says Just do it…

Spirit says Be, In Love…so just do it – Be, In Love…

Big Mahalos for Reading and Sharing…Aloha Kakou…

#LosAngelesKahuna #PuckingIrishGuysRockShop #TheCrabAndTheFish

#AmberSkinCare #StonekingMusic #SoulSurreal #ArbonneReeniJ

adios chagas.png

Join The Kiss Campaign ! Click the photo to get involved !

Share #AdiosChagas on your Social Networks !

 

Advertisements

The Wreckage that We are at Times

1rosemead_wreck_ManaOBlog.jpeg

The propensity that we have towards not feeling our own pain and believing that we can handle our lives without feeling it is what today’s post is all about.

You can all call me a whiny bitch all you want. I know the truth.

I know that I am strong and resilient, and I also know that there are going to be things that happen that will test my resolve, as things have for the last month, and will mess with my composure, and at the same time, show me not only what I am made of, but what others are also made of. I found out that I am not made of sugar and spice, but rather  a collective of memories that I keep having to live through everyday, just so that I can get through them and over it all.

What I am, right this moment, is someone who is a ball of jumbled emotions. I am, or at least can be, very adept at not feeling what I am feeling at any given moment. I have been that way for a long time. No matter what, though, this time, and these emotions are not going away if I do not acknowledge them. 

And Goddess-bless certain people for trying to lift me out of my mood…I have been made aware by my Spirit Mother and Sisters that I have to feel them, because if I do not feel them, I cannot know how to help anyone else deal with them. This is not my copping out, and is not my being a martyr – this is simply my being the constant Shaman in training, the very one who willingly traverses the Path of the Black Flame. (And yes I do realize that that is also the title of a magazine published by the church of Satan but..it is surely not the same thing…please…keep reading…)

I am realizing one thing – when it is that we are supposed to go through a lot of bullshit, the Universe will serve us up with a ton of it, and no matter what it is that we are thinking we can do to avoid a lot of things that we do not want to deal with, deal with those things we will. I am writing SPECIFICALLY about myself in that, if there is a person on this planet who (a) does not like watching other people suffer, (b) would rather be the one to absorb it all for anyone else, and (c) is learning that in my wanting to do for them what it is that they are learning, I am not learning. What I am not wanting to learn is how to navigate my silly Pisces okole out of this madness.

There are a lot of people who will tell you that if there is one person who has the ability to bounce back from the bullshit that seems to have always plagued my life, it is me.

However, when I look back into the years that I have been able to do the escape artist thing, I find that I have done myself no favors at all, in fact, and those non-favors have led me to have to seek help from other healers. Once it is that I can get past all of the things that broke my heart, no matter who were the ones who’d done it (and mind you I do know that PLENTY of them meant no harm…), no matter how much I do not care to face yet one more little tiny bit of bullshit, face it all, I must. 

Face it all…

I am reminded of the …cute…nature of Disney character “Dory” from “finding Nemo,” with her famous mantra being “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.”

There is not a Pisces on this planet who does not know what this is like – the idea that in order to survive the insanity of the ocean of emotion, we have the choice to keep swimming.  In nature, fish have no other real defenses, not even the big scary ones, and it is the reason that most of them swim away from danger. I mean, even in a fish bowl, a fish will try to swim away from something that it senses will hurt it. Try it at home if you can, and you will find out that I am right – stick your finger into a bowl with a goldfish in it, and while that creature will, at first, be curious about the thing that has just come into its watery abode, once it is that it finds out it cannot eat it, said goldfish will swim as far away from your finger that it can, just so that it can remain safe. This is natural for them, to swim from what it is that appears or they sense to be not food or to be some sort of predator coming for it.

Using this same analogy, if it is that we stick our finger in the fishbowl too much, and once in every while we actually touch the gills of the fish in the bowl, eventually that fish is going to chafe, and eventually that fish is going to have a very different response to its own curiosity – and that response is called fear. We fear that which we know is not comfortable, and we fear that which we have no idea about, and we fear whatever it is that we have denied long enough so that we could, at least for a little while, not have to fear those things. Yet, we forget that we have to go through all of that shit, have to deal with the things that we are not exactly too thrilled about having to do.

And yes, I have indeed have had very much enough of that thing called “all this bullshit.” I have had enough of all the hurt and the heartache, to the point where now, if I do not face it all, I will be dealing with more and more of this manifestation of physical pain in lieu of facing the inner demons of simply just not wanting to hurt anymore. It is one of those things that, unless you are me, are my twin flame, are particularly close to me in any manner, you are not going to have the reality of this thing that I am experiencing. This thing that I am experiencing is called pain.

Pain is the indicator light

We human beings ascribe attributes of non-human things to ourselves. I like using a car for my own. Because I have had a lot of difficulties lately with my own vehicle, I can truly say that my Wonderbucket and I, at this moment, have the same issues. The differences are obvious – it is a car. I am a person. It is not running, and I am still breathing. However, my vehicle ran the distance until she was tired, and my vehicle worked hard for me even though I knew that sometimes, she just needed to be parked under a shady tree for a day or two, and always, my vehicle did not let me down. While she may never run again, my vehicle, no matter what, will always be the place that I am able to find solace.

Not only is my vehicle out of commission, my ambulation has been hampered – knee injury…happened whilst performing a labor of Love and a labor of Love which I would do, again and again, and would not bat an eye at it if I ended up, every time, injuring my knee. That I have an injury is one thing – it happens to the best of us. That I have a knee injury specifically is the thing that makes me shudder a little bit in that, hula is danced from the knees and the feet, and through this injury, I have been shown exactly how much not only my legs and my ability to walk, dance, move about, actually mean to me and more, how much my life is not the same, albeit temporarily, without my Medicine Dance.

I have learned a whole lot about myself, and the one thing that I have learned as of this moment is that we all have that point at which we can take no more. Even as this might be true, while we can take no more is one thing, but that what other people are bringing to us that we can take no more of we HAVE TO be able to tell the difference between what is meant to hurt, and what is an attempt that, through our emotional guidance, we are not privy to having to deal with any of it, if that, at any moment, is what we are finding ourselves having to do so as to not have to absorb any more pain, no matter what.

Other people who do not know us and who do not care about what their actions have done to our lives as a whole are, regardless of what we want to think is the truth, also learning. But, I am finding that these are the sort of people who will, without even batting an eye, place the blame of their actions of shittiness onto the people who they have created wreckage for. I am reminded of those who deem themselves “in charge” of anything that has no meaning for anyone other than them. I am reminded of people who take their “manager name tag” and shove it in the faces of the people who they think they are superior to. These are the people, by and large, who have created the very most havoc in my life and in the lives of those particularly close to me. These are the people, I have to believe, want to believe, will try to exact it as being believable even if only to myself, do not know have already, for themselves, started the loop of Karmic grief.

Karmic Grief

This is the part where I give you the cosmic “aaaaahhhhhhh,” and the part where I remind us all, namely myself, that things that suck and feel like they will end our lives as we know it are temporary. 

Don’tcha just hate it when some damned spiritual person comes along and reminds us that everything we are going through is temporary? I am one of those spiritual types and right now I dislike very much reading my own words, but, I have to read them, because I have to believe them, because if anyone wants all of this burdensome bullshit to be over with, it is me (and a few others very close to me). The thing that I like calling “Karmic Grief” is the other side of this pain that collectively, many of us are feeling right this moment.

I would love to tell you that they get theirs when we want them to, but that is not what happens. What happens is that they get theirs when it is most pertinent to the thing that they are exacting now. This means that if someone in your life, regardless of how close you are to them, and more so if you cannot stand them, has harmed your heart and soul in any manner at all, no matter how much we want to see them suffer what it is that we are suffering, it will not come to them until it means something to them that whatever it is that they are putting us through they too will go through.

For instance, there is a woman I know of who likes to behave like a man, and it is proved by the way that she treats men. I am not going to sit here and tell anyone that I can tell you how or when her karmic grief is going to get her, but what I will state is that, without a doubt, it is coming for her, and she will be helpless to do a thing about it when it does. If she does not learn from the havoc that she has wreaked onto at least myself and one other person, then she will end up going through that same measure of grief again and again until she learns that she is not allowed to make peoples’ lives hard and practically ruin them just because she has that material power to do so.

Material power is different than soul power, because material power is finite, while soul power is infinite. (Think about it) Using one’s material power (physical, real or imagined, bullying in one way or another) is easier than going with what your soul is telling you to do. It is your soul’s power that prompts any one of us to ultimately look at the pain and feel the compulsion to deal with it, even though we know that it is going to suck…badly. Using our soul’s power makes us focus on ourselves and not on the things that we see in other people that we, ourselves, cannot “fix” for ourselves. When we cannot “fix” something is when we are being told that what we are faced with is something that we have to deal with, that we cannot turn from, and that ultimately will make us far stronger than the weakness that we are feeling right now in the material. This does not change things for any of us, at least not topically. What it does do is gives us an option – to face (soul power)…or not to face (material power).

In the time that we go through what we will go through when we opt to go with our souls and get through things from the soul, out, we will, for sure, blame otehrs for how we feel, even though the blame for our feeling any way is not what they are responsible for. They are responsible for bringing the pain to us. Our kuleana with that pain is to heal ourselves from it. This does not, at all, make things at all different. They are still who brought the pain. We are still who must feel it and work through it. This does not excuse the pain if it were done on purpose (refer to the thing about me, one other person, and that “manager pin” worn on the sleeve). What it does, believe it or not, is gives us leverage. It does this through the mechanism of them thinking they have hurt us, which they have, and our begging them for mercy, which sometimes we do, and our eventually realizing that we never needed them to give us mercy. We needed them to show us the next lesson.

That’s it. Really. That’s it. In relegating them to this position of merely bringing us the lesson, we take from them the one thing that they hope, like all people like this would be, would be the thing that they need to keep control over us in some manner. When we remove from them, through our choosing to see things through the eyes of the soul rather than the material and we understand what it is that, materially, we mean to them. They actually need us – we never need anyone else to make us feel powerful by their ability to take from us what they think and assume makes them feel more powerful and is ours- material, or otherwise. Empowerment does not come from denying others their power. It comes from respecting them even when they are at their weakest, period. If they do not respect you and never did, that is a them thing, not a you thing…keep reading.

It is not our place to wish bad things onto anyone. It is not our place to want them to hurt like we do, but wish it upon them we will (I can think of four right now…two bitch boys and two manchicks). This is when we end up creating that karmic circle for ourselves, all over again. The lesson, at least for me, in part, I know, is that I have to stop wishing certain peple would suffer, because in doing so, I have to suffer. Right now, the suffering that I am doing is all mine, make no mistake, but it is not because I want suffering for anyone (at least not for real). It is, rather and instead, because that is how I roll. I do not like to suffer, but I will suffer if I am meant to. Learning means that sometimes, we have to go through pain. I am in pain in more ways than one. A lot of us are.

It is not something that will make any of us feel any better about what it is that is right here and now. Karma is not meant to be that way. Karmic grief is not up to us to exact, and if we are lucky we will be somewhere nearby when it all starts for these certain others, for no other reason than to have a sense of confirmation and closure to the pain.

If we are lucky, the Universe will show us glimpses of things being made right and will make it so that we are no way, and in the right energy, the one who is blamed for the karmic grief of others. Understand now that there is a difference between feeling grief, and grieving. The grief about which I am writing and that we feel is to be thought of as our having to deal with a lot of bullshit. But, grieving over things is totally different. We feel grief when others bring it to us, but, we grieve over things, not only that we have lost, but that we seem not to understand the reason as to why it is those things which hurt us are so very hard for us to deal with.

So, if it is that you are experiencing the wreckage that has become your own life, take heart in a few things:

  1. While it might seem very…naive…of me to state so, and even while I, myself, am having a very dearly hard time dealing with even my own words about this shit, whatever it is that you are experiencing and is making you feel grief, it is temporary.
  2. You are not the circumstances of your life. You are a human being. You are worthy of Love and self-acceptance for that alone. You are not required to proverbially beat the shit out of you just because the world seems to have a different idea about it.
  3. The things that mean the most to us might not be the things that we need for this time in our lives, and this also applies to people and the way that we are treated by them, no matter who they are. They might not be able to handle whatever it is that you are dealing with, and in like kind, they will go away and return another time.
  4. Where there appears to be a “hole in the soul” is actually space for something new.

When it seems as though we are not getting what it is that we want, we have to look at the other side of it, to the things that we need. Maybe we need to learn to just live without certain things and people in our lives. I don’t know. I don’t like doing either of those things. But, if it means that I will,eventually, be better and stronger for having done so, then I suppose that which I thought was lost was never mine to begin with.

#LiveALOHA

Medicine Dance Book Cover Front Draft RJB

Click the hula dancer to purchase the eBook, and click here to purchase your paperback copy from Lulu.com

#TheCrabAndTheFish  #LosAngelesKahuna #PuckingIrishGuyRockShop


That which we are not aware of

Betty Sun_Jet Li_Fearless_Mana_O_Blog

In terms of being aware, it is not what we are absolutely aware of that we need to hone, but that which we are unaware of and that we are creating that we need to learn…

Awareness: having knowledge of something and especially of something not generally known or apparent (from Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary,1973, pg 78)

Until we are aware of something, we are unaware.

Yeah, I know…duh… 

The reality is, though, unfortunately, that we humans can be severely unaware of what is happening with our own selves, and lots of times it is not a bad thing, even though those lots of things might actually be very, very tough to deal with, let alone live through. At this moment in our shared lives we are finding that there is a LOT of stuff that we are going through, that perhaps a lot of us have denied through the mechanism of being awful in terms of how it is that we feel about ourselves and our abilities.

And let me tell you what – every one of us is going through something right now. I am sure that if you bothered to look at the less than rosy things in your life (you know…the things that take you away from having to deal with the things that you would rather not? Yeah…I’m onto ya…keep reading), you might not be able to see it right away, but in that garbage is what it is, at the bottom of it all, you are learning. And you are not learning to do something OTHER than become aware.

Awareness is that thing that we want, but is something that reveals the truth, not only about other people, but mostly about ourselves. While it is that we do not want to look at the ugliness that exists within the confines of our lives, what we are not thinking about is what is not apparent but is absolutely there for us to find. We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on who we are for real, that we do not buy into what others say about us that is good – we prefer to keep ourselves humble, so to speak, and keep ourselves at a level that is not the level that we each know we need to accept ourselves as being at.

This is not easy to do when we are looking at our tangible realities and finding there the things that scare the hell out of us the most. This is what this things called awareness brings us – the ability to see, perhaps even with our physical eyes, that which is unapparent to us on the physical level.

That which is apparent to us on the physical level is not all that there is to ‘see’

If I tell someone who I am coaching that there are things that they are not aware of, and things that they, themselves, cannot see, it is actually a very good thing that some of them cannot see what it is that anyone else can see and appreciate.

Sometimes, duh is better

Sometimes, it is better that we cannot see these things about us, because in doing so, we will either become so comfortable in the idea that we are changing things for ourselves that we become complacent in our efforts and end up not evolving, or, we will find ourselves so very…filled with un-belief…about the great things that we are being told, that we will over-analyze what we have been told is the truth about us as presented to us by someone else. We will make it so that within that goodness, we will find something that will invariably go ‘wrong.’ We are so much more readily available to believe the ugliness that is said about who we are, far and long before we will even think to accept what is not apparent to us and is actually both true and good. We will essentially mind-fuck it into oblivion, and we will end up continuing to believe the awful things that others have said about us and to us.

The thing about that sort of things is that, when others tell us what they feel is ‘wrong’ with us, what they are actually doing is reflecting how they feel about themselves and showing us, through the mirror who they are, what is really not completely okay about themselves. I am reminded of a mother who cannot find one good thing to say about her adult kid. When finally she does, somehow, because it is her habit and it is her way of keeping her kid a kid, she jacks things up by “balancing” the good things that she’d said by reminding her kid that somehow, they are not the best person on the planet, and why don’t you listen to mommy more?

Well, why would anyone want to listen to someone who never encourages another person to be all that they can be and do so without all of the (ahem) ‘constructive criticism’? (I am sorry, but, that is not a real thing, by the way – how can criticism ever be constructive? It is way, way destructive…keep reading…) It is not that they have a bad thing to say to us or about us, at least for the most part. It is that they are not happy with themselves, or they feel like they are entitled to our changing who we are so that they can feel better about themselves through the mechanism of reflecting their own ‘bad’ onto someone who is essentially ‘good.’

This is the truth. I did not make this up.

On this planet we share the air with people who have been told their entire lives that, because they are not willing to conform to someone else’s level of comfort, that somehow, they are ‘bad.’ What else is the truth is that not one of us has to accept what is someone else’s bullshit when it comes to things like who we are to anyone, namely and mostly ourselves. The damage that is caused by people not thinking before they speak, or perhaps not thinking at least about how it would feel if they were to be told the same things that they habitually say to others…that damage is huge and that damage lasts as long as it takes for a person to raise their level of awareness, at least to the point where what is being said cannot be proved as true.

It is only true if we choose to believe it.

At that point, we make their truth, our truth. At that point, we are living and being the person who they see and who they have a problem with. At that point, what we are doing is anything other than being true to ourselves. We are taught for our lives long that other peoples’ opinion is the truth of us and really, the truth of us is created by and through us. Other people are just tools in that creation. They are there with their cutting words and their biting assumptions, there with words but without a clue. They are there to make sure that they get what they need into our ears and our psyche, and there to help us choose what they are in terms of what it is that they bring to us.

Choosing who they are vs. allowing them to choose for us who we are

In the last paragraph, I wrote that we get to choose who they are in our lives. To make sure that things are more clear for you, let’s see these people as actual tools in a toolbox.

Now, realize that I have almost zero clue about what tool is useful for what job and that for the most part, I am using this only as an example. Inside of a toolbox there are several different tools. Each of those tools has a different purpose.  Each of them does different things, even though lots of them might look a whole lot alike.  Some are exactly alike but are a different size, meaning that even as they might look like something else, they are outwardly and essentially the same, but do not have the same purpose.

NOW…let’s look at the other side of this…the side where you call a guy to repair something.

That guy knows his stuff, and here you are, questioning that guy about his stuff. You sit there telling that guy what he should do according to you, and all the while, that guy is the one who is going to, without your help, either fix what needs to be fixed or leave the repair job, and all because you have shit to say about something that you called on him for. Because you do not know what this guy has already gone through earlier in his work day, you are taken aback when he tells you that you can fix it yourself, and you are offended by him when he hands you his tools and tells you to do it yourself (since you know better than the expert).

…the difference being…

In one instance, we are who, in our DIY manner, chooses who is and who is not a tool for us. We choose who will sharpen us through their words and their sordid thoughts about us. We choose who will strengthen us by their measure of trying hard to make us weak every chance they get. We determine what tool will be best for what job and what part of us needs to be made whole. When we are the one doing the choosing, we are managing who we are through whatever means it is that other people bring to us. In other words, we are not believing what others say of us that is not that great and who are choosing their stuff to measure against our stuff and we are finding out the truth through them without them realizing it.

In the other instance, when we call out someone else about their stuff and we believe them, we are allowing them to create for us an awareness that is not our own, and we are telling them that, because they have a problem, and since they are more willing to see what they think we are not able to do versus the reason why they called us out or upon us for whatever reason they have, we are letting them be in control and we are allowing them into that sacred place of wholeness that only we can see to. This is not to say that we do not, from time to time, in our actual abodes, not in need of someone to come and actually fix stuff for us. It is saying that when it comes to the home that is our peace of mind, the last thing that someone …anyone…needs is one more person telling us that they have a better way of doing things and why are we not doing things their way?

When it comes to that point is when we have to choose who they are to us…are they a tool? Are they someone in need of our specific help with themselves? Are they someone in need of specific help with themselves and who would rather not fix who they are – they would rather tell other people how said other people are not able to do what it is that we are all able to do, so long as we do it ourselves and without believing the things that people tell us is the truth of us.

Basically, the way that we become aware of the things that we are not topically aware of is simply trhrough observance, through listening, through paying attention to the things that others are telling us is the truth of who we are. What you will notice is that everything that they have to tell us about us is typically about them, as well, and when they tell us what they tell us, it is a reflection of themselves, not of us. We are not taught this way. We are taught to believe other people. We are taught to not trust us. We are taught to be beholden to the opinions of other people, and we are not taught that the only opinion of ourselves that truly matters comes from ourselves.

The hardest part of all of this awareness stuff is not that we have to look at what other people think of us. It is that we have to learn to accept that which is GOOD about us and learn to stop accepting what is bad about us according to other people.

The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best… “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”

The Truth…it completely rocks…namely when it is that we are the creators of our own…

Live Aloha…

I Love You All… ROX

#LosAngelesKahuna

#TheCrabAndTheFish

Medicine Dance Book Cover Front Draft RJB

Click on the photo to purchase your eBook copy of Medicine Dance at smashwords.com

 


Waking up is hard to do

lion-waking-up

The last few weeks that have passed have shown us a side of ourselves that no one really cares to deal with. The reason the collective whole of us has been having a collective snit is simple – waking up to who we each and all truly are isn’t easy. In fact, waking up is hard to do.

I have said it more than once, and lately, have said it more than once a day. Those of us who are manifesting who we are for real are having growing pains. I know this one personally, as does any one of those closest to me. Some of us are not aware of this one thing, this thing that we are doing, this thing called waking up to our higher selves.

I could sit here and say that it was but one phone call this morning, but I would be full of crap in doing so. It was after that one phone call that a barrage of texts came to me, which are still happening right now as I sit here writing this and looking at the indicator light on my cell phone that is telling me I’ve been contacted.

We are being shown who we are, shown where our and also that our  greatness lives within us, and some of us, like me, for example, ain’t buyin’ the idea that maybe, for real even, we ARE that awesome.

Ummmm…hello? 

Believe it or not, we are THAT awesome. Think about it – you, me, everyone on this planet has the very same options open to us at birth. This is the truth. This is not something new. Thing is, we are not the ones, at birth, even though, paradoxically, we are always the ones, even at birth, who are ultimately in charge of what happens in our lives. The fact is that each of us, at birth, has that thing called free will at the same time that we are as vulnerable as any infant would be.

This is where a lot of us parents have it wrong, and have, for generations, had it wrong in that, we impose onto our kids the things that we want them to do, of course, for their own good, because we see in these little tiny people who call us mom or dad, the potential that is there due to another thing called the seed of greatness.

The seed of greatness is that thing within us all that we each have and is the option, when we are ready, to choose to sow in the soil of our lives.

While I know that it is hard to think about a five year old having the potential toward greatness when said five year old is out in the yard digging holes in the dirt and playing with bugs and possibly eating worms and her own boogers, what we do not see and what we do not know unless said child tells us, is what said child is thinking.

The seeds of greatness in said child might be in science as someone who finds a way to take dirt and turn it into fuel or energy or even self-producing organic fertilizer…no one knows that because we teach our kids, unfortunately, to be seen, not heard, and to make us proud.

Proud of what? Proud that they were born, and proud that here we have in our midst these tiny little lives that, if we are not more aware of it, we also have the very power to wreck, or at least put off, their chances at greatness created by their own efforts?

Parents are the very ones who set kids up for the fall and we do it through our placing demands on them without realizing that that is what we are doing. Of course we just want the very best for them, and in wanting this, we do like parents do and we start molding for them the structure that they will need in order to make us proud.

Note that I wrote “make us proud” and not “make their lives phenomenal through their own efforts and sense and ability toward creativity and creating that life.”

It is time, folks, for the majority of those of us who have procreated to take a look at our own involvement with our kids’ lives and take into account all of the barriers that were presented to us and know, right away, that what we are seeing there and right this minute is NOT the end of things, really. They ARE kids, and they are OUR kids, meaning that even now, even if they are our adult kids who no longer live in our care, we still CAN do something…”parental”…at this time.

It’s called being supportive of their efforts and knowing that they are doing their best.

Period.

Yeah…but what about us…you know, the ones who were once those kids and are now no longer in need of our mommies to make sure we don’t get lost in the supermarket?

Guess what?

We are always those very kids. I say so because if it were not the truth, the things that we know impede us and slow our growth are the things that we have to get through and have to no longer believe in order to continually evolve as we are meant to…well, those things, those issues, those ways of being would cease to be an issue or a way of being and would still be those things but those things would become options for us to choose instead of things that we have to evolve and grow from.

Essentially this means that we have to understand that the things that we have grown comfortable with, the things that we thought we could depend on and the things that we thought would always be there and be a given, just as we evolve, also evolve, and when those things evolve we experience growth.

The growth that we experience shows up in our lives as pain, as things that make our daily living a pain in the ass, are things that get up in our faces, make us feel like a useless turd and make us question everything that we think we know is the truth of us when in reality, there is so very much more than what we think is there.

We think we are nothing, but really, we are everything in the world and more. We think we are failing in life, but what we are actually seeing in front of us dressed up as failure is actually an opportunity dressed up as such. When we think we are losing anything at all, we have to bother with the question of “what is it that I am being shown and why?”

What shows up as a challenge is actually there to show us what we do not need anymore…or simply just does not fit in the manner that it once did…

…or that needs to be applied elsewhere, even though essentially, elsewhere could mean applying it to something that we would rather do than something that we have convinced ourselves that we have to do.

What this means…well…it means a lot. When things mean a lot, you know I have a story to tell you…so, here we go…

Once Upon a Time…

At one point in my life, I wanted to be a professional dancer. I had my sights set on the New York City Rockettes. At another point, I wanted to be a licensed mental health therapist. Yet, all the while, I knew, deep in the bones of my soul, that neither of these things were going to happen, for the simple fact that I was not meant for these two things.

While it is that technically I did grow up to become both a dancer and someone in the counseling trades, I am not, have never been a New York City Rockette, and even though I have a college degree and though I am very good at what I do, I am not technically the sort of therapist whose name is preceded by and neither titled “Dr.” anything.

Yet, this does not mean that I did not grow up to be just those two exact things – a dancer, and somewhat of a counselor, titled by the letters “Rev,” and no letters following my last name with “PhD.”

That I am one and not the other is one thing, but that the reason that many “professionals” in any industry at all fail to see anything other than what is my label placed there in any manner by anyone at all is quite another.

What most folks don’t realize is that it is never a title that makes anyone good at what they do, but rather and only their track record, and yes, who they really, truly, essentially are in terms of being a human being type person.

Yet, even the track record being anything at all meaningful with what it is that any one of us does with our time and our talent becomes irrelevant when the time is upon us that we must grow, that we must look toward who we are versus who we have been told we are, who we have assumed that we are, who we think we are, even when the outer signs and clues continually tell us that change is happening, is upon us, is going to happen, with us, for us and by us, and we are not aware that this is what is called waking up in the spiritual sense.

Waking up in the Spiritual Sense

The entire human population of this planet is evolving and for the very life of us, too many of us are not catching on to the idea that this is going to happen and it is going to happen to us all, even if we want to believe that we can fight it and that it is going to happen to us all namely if we are seekers of truth.

Seekers of truth are those of us who are not thinking about all of these things that we are each going through in terms of our having asked for something better, different, more attuned to who we are. For years all I wanted to do was to prove to people that I was talented and smart, that I could do the things that I said I could and more, and more than much else, I really and only wanted people to take me seriously.

No one really took me seriously, and to this day, no one really does unless they are part of my daily awareness. It may well have to do with the idea that I am quite an outgoing personality, not bothered by what a whole lot of people think of me anymore. I really only care that the things that I do in this world are the things that I am meant to do, that I am supposed to be doing, that I was born to do and that none of it does anyone in my world and who had any part of my world for a very long time can still not understand me.

But, anymore now, I am more likened to accept that there are people on this planet who will not ever understand me, who will never ever be able to wrap their heads around the work that I do and more than that, they don’t want to, and really, I am not in any position to try to make it clearer to them who and what I am.

Apparently, they have been ignoring it for as long as they have for the purpose of not having to understand me so as to not bother the truth that they have taken as their own.

This is all fine and good.

The reason that I wrote all of that is because I needed to write all of this part now – whenever it is that there seems absolutely no way out of something, this is when it is wise to think about everything that has transpired in our lives to this point and see there, through our own recount of events, the things that are tying together all of the other things that might not be telling any of us what is in store for us next.

This means that, when I thought I wanted to be a Rockette specifically, it was that I was being told by my soul that one day, part of my own life, in a professional manner, would have something to do with art and movement.

When I thought I wanted to be a shrink, it was actually that I was being told that somehow, I would be in the trades of helping people with the way that they think,so that they can modify their thoughts to accommodate who they are, while still living somewhat the life that they are building, so that one day they can live the life that they have been building from the ground up for the majority time they have been in this lifetime and in this shell of a body.

I know, I know…it seems hard to believe that all of this time, you have been doing what it is that you do, not thinking in terms that maybe what you do is not conducive to who you are growing to become, and all the while, every one of us worried, fretted, thought the worst, including me. (I AM comprised of flesh and blood, people, even as we are all and also comprised of the moon, the stars and the universe…)

It is hard to believe that the things we have done for years no longer serve us, and if they do, they’re no longer what they were for us, meaning that, again, those things are evolving.

It is hard to believe that when we each and all asked for a better life, that while we went through and a whole lot of us are right in the middle of the turmoil, that we would not also think that we would have to deal with these sorts of frustrations.

It is hard to believe that when we are preparing for our highest and best life possible, that we end up having to see, go through, feel, know the things that we would rather not.

We have to learn the things that we would rather not, so that when the things that we would rather know finally make its way to us, we will know without a doubt that what it is that we are building toward, and what it is that we used to have as part of our awareness of our very truest selves, we would also know that we have learned a whole lot, that we have had the things that we wanted all along and that no matter what, we would have had to also experience the things that we have so that we would know the difference.

The difference between what, you might want to know?

The difference between what it is that is the very essence, the very song and the very energy of your Soul, and what, essentially, it was that you have been doing all this time in order to know what it is that is NOT…and this is what is known, what folks who work in the weird have been calling and telling people without outright telling them they are doing, that everywhere, even as much as it sucks and is very, very nerve racking and scary…waking up to one’s own higher self, so as to one day wake to being the epitome of one’s own highest and best self.

You have been waking up and finding out who you are for real.

Who you are for real is not contained within a label, not contained within anything that any one of us does, and is only and will always only remain in the idea that all along, we all know and knew what it is that we are meant for, and it is nothing short of brilliance and greatness.

I Promise…

I Love You All !

ROX

BLOG MEME FOR JUSTROX hula shoot

 

 

 


Trust and the Sixth Sense

O_Roberts Scandal Manao Blog pic

Trusting in one’s own self is a challenge if we have been told all of our lives that we should trust other people and their own “stuff” and to not trust our selves to have our own best interest at both heart and soul

When it comes to things strange and unbelievable, I am pro at it. I believe in things that most folks do not believe, at least on top of things, exist.

I was taught in church as a child that the only things that exist are the things that we can sense with our 5 physical human senses. We are more than only each of our own five sense, more than only these primal beings who, for the most part, are not but like the animals which we hold dominion over.

The things that we are more inclined to basically hand off to someone else, things like responsibility for how we feel, the actions we take and which affect the lives of others,  are the very things that we are handed as the things that we need in order to sharpen our own senses.

In that sharpening, we find out that we actually have six senses, but also, once it is that we find out what we can do with that sixth sense, we become afraid.

Fear causes us to not trust ourselves

Think back to when you were a kid, and if it applies, being that same kid sitting in church on a Sunday. Think about the sermon, and the music that you heard being sung, and think about the message that was delivered, versus the message that you got. Now, think about, also, the way that the messages were all delivered to you and how you, as that child, that same child who is now the adult and who cannot trust anyone or anything, and sadly, you also do not trust you, relate to the things that your were told to believe as your truth.

Recall, some of you, being that child, and growing into the adult you are now, and how it was that the things that you were told were the truth somehow do not make sense to you now, and how it is that perhaps even as that same child, in your soul, you questioned what you were being told and taught, and mostly, the thing that you questioned the very most is if what you were being taught and told, while it might have been anyone else’s truth, it was anything but the truth to you.

Basically, while you sat in those pews, all that time, you were being told what you are allowed to believe as the truth, and that is because in teaching you someone else’s truth, and making you believe it was THE truth by scaring you into going to hell if you did not believe it, was the only way that the people telling you this could validate what it was and is that maybe they, themselves, never bought as being truth. This means that you are not the only one who was force fed what was someone else’s truth. This means that you were taught to not trust you, but instead to trust the people who, by virtue of being on the planet longer than you, were also taught the same things, by the same sort of people, in the same manner – by use of a truth that was only made valid because a guy in a suit with an ordination said so, and had that black book to back his shit up with.

A few reasons why it may feel strange to trust you

You do not trust you because you have been taught that you have to trust only things and people that are outside of yourself, and you do not trust you because of all the messages that you were forced to listen to and more than that, forced to deal with hearing that if you heeded your own voice and trusted your own voice and self, that big scary God who everyone seemed more to fear his retribution than this…unconditional love…that you were told was the truth of this God, would “get” you.

This was the tactic which was used with me, my brother and sister, but when it came to me, it was almost as though somehow, my parents knew a long time ago that of the three of us, I would be the one to wander from what it was that I was taught in church. They knew then what it took me years to not only figure out, but to accept – I do not like being told a thing. I will not be told what to do. I will not be made to fear anything that I am supposed to trust. I was taught that my own human brain was not enough to make it through this lifetime, that I needed to depend on something outside of myself…which, duh…I do that…but, that which I depend on is NOT tangible, but is comprised only of Love and Spirit. When you are raised to label things, “Spirit” is not recognizable to a lot of people who have been told that Spirit does not exist.

To a lot of people, “Spirit” is the devil, because there is only one God, and that one God according to a lot of unenlightened people is the rule of law.

No thank you.

It is scary trusting one’s own self when you have been taught not to trust anything you came up with on your own

I have no issues with religion. Let us get that much straight right now. I have no issues if others want to share what is their belief with me, and in kind, others should not have issues with me being a very rapt audience because part of my work in this lifetime has a lot to do with deprogramming of the beliefs regarding powerful and titled people, so that said people can maintain what are their beliefs, all while also maintaining their own level of self-trust, which is the very self-trust that too many organized religions, for years, used to tell people that we are not to trust ourselves.

The issue with trusting one’s own self, namely when one has not been taught anything other than the opposite of that, and mainly when what has been taught and the underlying message of what has been taught is basically that other people, mostly people who others perceive as somehow powerful, and more so than we are, are smarter than we are, other people know better what is good for us, and we have been taught anything but being free within our own set of beliefs.

We are taught to be the opposite, to conform to what the rest of the world tells us is the truth, but it is a truth that, while it might well be the truth, generally speaking, there is an entire other set of truths that we are taught, from a very young age, that we must believe. And we are told that we must believe it because some guy in an expensive suit and who stands behind a pulpit is the be all end all of truth.

Ummm…no…no he is not. I know that he is not, because the person who used to be that minister, the minister who would tell people, because he was told by his own minister, as a child, that we are not meant to trust our instincts…was my father.

This does not mean that he was not, by and large, telling the truth, because he was telling his congregants what were his truths. And in actuality, my dad was not the sort of preacher who would get in front of the congregation and tell everyone that they were going to go to hell. That seemed to be the bastion of my mother’s own means of keeping “the flock” in line, or at least the flock’s kids, that is. Where it was and is that most preachers shout it out from the pulpit, standing there whilst the crowd of people watch them adoringly, my own father was the sort of minister who would not stand in front behind the pulpit, because he much preferred to be able to move about the classroom.

While this has nothing to do, really, with a lot of what is being written here, the one thing that it tells you is that, even ministers of the good, born again sort, some of them break free of what is told to them to be protocol. Protocol for some of these guys is that their congregants worship the guy in the suit. They follow the lead of the herd, not realizing that it is okay to be the black sheep, not realizing that the reason that a lot of people anymore these days seem to be lost, and the reason that they are lost is because they have not yet literally found their very own personal way of believing anything.

You have been taught to not trust you, and believed it was the truth of you to do so

If there is one thing that I teach my own students first, and that is the very most important thing of all, it is to trust their own selves.

What this means is that, whatever it is that you are thinking that is about you and only you, even in regards to communicating with anyone else at all, the one person who we each are not able to lie to and fully believe the lies are our very selves. We have been taught to fear an invisible God, but have no proof that we should. This is not truthful. It is anything but truthful. The way that ANY person who is chosen by Spirit to …well, yeah…do what it is that I do for my job – the way that any cleric should be teaching anyone at all is to help them feel at ease with their own version of God.

When it is that an entire population of people whose perception of what is their own personal power is contained within a title, there is a problem. That is letting something tangible and outside of themselves tell the world a truth that is a limited version of what is the entirety of it all. This is also a person who also, like the rest of us, to a certain degree, does not trust their own self, their own sixth sense. And the worst part about it is that there are some in that set of people who, for the most part, adhere to the things that they are telling people, and who are also not telling the entire truth of who they are.

These are the people on this planet who tell us, blatantly, not to trust ourselves, but to trust this big, scary, somewhat reminiscent of a very abusive mate, deity. Please don’t think for a moment that I am writing this because I am wanting to slam on someone’s religious beliefs – quite the opposite, actually. What I am actually doing is point blank, in black and white, blatantly and in your faces telling you all that the time has come, not for one, but for EVERY person on this planet, to finally take charge and take care of the trust issues that you have with you.

This is the thing that not a lot of parents, namely the religious sort, teach their children. This is a problem and is so because it creates dependent children who grow up to be dependent, needy adults. If you thought about it for a moment, you would see the thing that I am talking about, and you would see, too, in your own life, where it is that you were taught to be needy and dependent.

I was taught to depend on and need the opinion of other people, and for a very long time I did just that. I depended on others to tell me who I was, and in kind I ended up doing exactly the thing that I now know was not the thing that I should have done. When a mother tells her child that he or she needs to depend on themselves, normally it means that said child needs to depend on their own leanings, and depend on their own truths, but then you have those mothers who are more inclined to leave the raising of their kids to the truths of a person in a suit and a smirk and who is also like said mother, but, unlike the said mother, is the guy spilling all of his own truths as they are deciphered by him from that holy text that he derives every truth that may well be applicable to him, or worse, applicable to the waiting ears, eyes, minds, hearts and souls of the multitude of people in the congregation which he refers to as being his flock.

So, what are the odds that a kid, unless they chose to rebel in a manner that was not one of the seven deadly sins (one cousin chose sex, another drugs…I chose rock n roll and talking to the spirits of those who have gone home…everyone has their own poison, so to speak), is going to go against the things that this person up front in a suit, because said kid’s mother believes every word coming out of that man’s mouth, and because that same mother, just like her kid, still holds a dependent energy about her and one that makes it so that she will follow, rather than lead or be stand alone?

Now, think of that same mother, that same kid, and as that kid gets older, said kid decides that they will begin to trust their own selves, go with what it is that their gut is telling them, and know now that this is not something that most child behavioral specialists could call being a normal teenager. This is and should only be thought of as said kid beginning to depend on his or her own self and realizing earlier than later that everything that they hear, are told, believe, to that point, may or may not, now, or ever, really, be something that they can believe.

It begins within us each, this questioning of what we have been taught as truth that we are expected to keep as truth, even the very moment that we start to recognize our gut reaction.

Gut Reaction

Basically, the way that we sense things is literally physically. We are equipped with an early warning system, and that system is located within us, inside that area called “the gut.” You’re gut will tell you when you are right, and when you are in danger, and when you get a warm feeling in your gut, and one that is that of comfort, you are not guessing – you are correct.

The other way is true, too – when your gut tells you to run – NOW!…you just do it, right?

And you’re usually right, right?

Okay…

Listening to someone else, and going against what is that tightness in your gut, that is not comfortable, and makes you know that something is just not right, or is at least to be questioned. I get it. I know what it is like to go against my own gut reaction, time and time again, when I ignored my own voice, it never worked out for me. When I followed what my gut, heart and soul all said at one time, I never went wrong. It is the way that I make big decisions these days. It has been like this for me …let’s say that the last time that I followed my gut reaction was the last time I had to. It was the right decision.

When I began the practice of shutting the voices of the past out of the choices I have made in the last few years, I also began the chain of events of things happening in my life, at any time in that span of years, that brought me to this me. I like this me.

Actually, I love this me.

Trusting You is Hard

There are a whole lot of people who do not trust their own decisions. I hear a whole lot about major life decisions, made recently, in the lives of people who crawl into my ears and live there in the safety that is their privacy, my secrecy. I ask them how their physical body feels when I ask certain questions. They are the same question, but are not the same words in the question each time. Each question causes a physical reaction, one that is tightness, or one that is warmth.

This is how you learn to trust you – you learn to ask you the right questions, and not questions that other people have asked you about you. You don’t bother with asking you the degrading things that others ask you about you. Bother only to ask what you have done or said to make them so upset with you. What was the action? What were the words? What do you recall being the reason for those actions and those words? How did you correct it for you, and even if it hurts, how have you remained so strong through it all?

These questions, folks, are the ones that bring to you the truth that is your own. You were never meant to try hard to live by someone else’s rules and someone else’s truths. Even religious people should follow this standard, for the simple FACT that eventually, and one day, they find out that knowing one’s own self and being honest and yes, trusting your sixth sense, are all a part of the plan which whatever deity it is that you are choosing to follow – that deity, so long as you trust in it, and as long as you are allowed to follow your own rules if they don’t bring harm to yourself or others…that very deity will always be there, and what’s more, you will, yourself, learn that the rules set in place for you as a child worshiping that deity was false.

You were being told what you should believe by human beings who needed other humans to validate them and the truths that they themselves might not really believe.

Some of them do it for the paycheck.

None of us needs to do a thing that we are not being told by our own inner selves is not right for us.

You know what is right for you.

Ask yourself why you do not believe a word you are saying to you

I Love You All

ROX

JustRoxMemeForBlog

_COMPLETED

GhettoAllegory Neptune

Click on the pictures to read the blogs !

 

 


The Ego’s Unforgiving Ridiculousness

I’m not about to tell anyone that we do not need our Egos, because we do. LOADS of people haven’t a clue about what the Ego truly is, even though every single one of us has employed its ridiculousness on more than only one occasion. However, not so coincidentally, it is because of our egos that we are able to hang on to things that really, we need to forgive other people for so that we can move forward.

At this time, there is a plethora of human beings on this planet for whom the engagement of the Ego when thinking in terms of not just going into some sort of …heated exchange…with another human being, over anything at all, seems to be the habit, the …addiction… to the hormonal imbalance which is caused by our being able to go toe to toe in an emotional exchange more often than is needed.

Yes – hormonal.

If you think and believe for a moment that the things that are the constant thought in your head…and no, I am not talking about you being you…I am talking about you being you, then someone comes along and interrupts you being you, at a constant, which releases hormones and the like, into your physical body, at a constant, again…do not forget that…and you are not balanced at all times with a good teeter-totter of both negative and the corresponding positive thoughts, which produce the same within each of us, you will…WILL end up out of sorts.

This is called your body telling you that it is already overly filled with the bullshit that other people bring to you. This is called your body needing you to take notice that something is not right, and normally, no matter what, even if it is a hereditary thing you have goin’ on, all of that ego-negative-bullshit going on WILL take its toll. You are not required to believed a single thing that you read here, and you are absolutely allowed to ignore this, and if you do, I will not know, and that, too, is okay…

until…

Understand that, right at this moment, there is a lot of growin’ goin’ on and that, too, not a whole lot of people who are in the middle of the most horrifically painful spiritual growth spurt are aware that what is going on is their Souls are stretching, are growing so as to accommodate who they are for real. Too many people want to hang on to the things that are acceptable on the surface, things and ways of being which are not going to serve them any longer, and things that, for the very life of me, I do not understand why anyone would want to hold onto that crap!

LOTS AND LOTS of people…perhaps more than even I realize, are caught right there, in that crux between letting things go and moving on, and hanging onto things that they like believing keeps them safe, but safe from what? Growth? That’s not safe to hang onto things that hurt us without a purpose for hurting us. In fact, that isn’t even smart because when we hang on, it is like we somehow cannot rid ourselves of the pain because we are somehow addicted to the drama which we bring about from it, should we hang on to it for longer than is needed (YES- NEEDED).

Hiding from things that we know are meant to make us stronger than we have ever known ourselves to be, in ways that we cannot imagine only serves to weaken us. When we are able to face what it is that we fear (believe it or not, the one thing that MANY MANY humans fear is being loved for real, because they cannot see themselves as worthy of it…what-EVER…) we are then and at that point telling ourselves that we are tired of the things that hurt us and that if we should so choose to look at those things in a manner that is from a neutral place, a place that is not ourselves in physical form but ourselves in a soul sense, we will begin to understand a whole lot more than we thought we did.

We will understand that there is a thing called forgiving ourselves for not being able to let go of the things that have been breaking our hearts, over and over again, on purpose, even, and we will be able to see, too, that we are not bad, that we are worthy of our own Love, for ourselves, because too many of us give away the Love within us, thinking that the more that we give, the more we will get back. Yet, it won’t happen that way if we do not recognize what it is for real. More, it also won’t happen if we do not Love ourselves for real.

Just because someone else hurts your feelings by whatever means they will hurt them, and even if they are being vindictive about it and perhaps even meant to do it, this does not mean that we need to retaliate in the manner that they would expect. It means that right at that moment, we have the option to choose, not only what our response will be,  if we will even bother with one – because sometimes, no words, no response is the greatest, most healing thing we can hope for.

Now, I am not suggesting here, with this next thing, that it is okay to lie to anyone, not even if it is meant to save someone else for their own good, but, even what seems to be the most unforgivable thing is also warranted by and needs that energy, because without it, it stays right there, in the manner that it is, right this moment, which, really, if you stepped outside of your own way, you might be able to see what is there for real.

You might be able to know that, without it being said or even implied, that somehow, even though a lie isn’t cool, sometimes, it is the very thing which will instill in us that thing called a wake up call, and that wake up call is not about anyone else BUT ourselves. Yet, most of the time, most folks and their egos are way too arrogant to see it that way because they are still living in that hurt placed on them so long ago…in that hurt that might not have been placed there on purpose or for malicious reasons. It doesn’t make it right – it makes humans, human.

And for the record – nope, I am not writing about anyone or anything in particular, but rather and only a culminated thought about why it is that we humans tend to need what we need, and when it shows up in a manner that we don’t understand, or comes from a place where we least expect it – whether it is a lie, or perhaps some other thing that no one seems to understand – not only are we hurt, but it is doubly so. When finally it happens, we are at a loss but at a loss because we were not prepared well enough or on our own and through our own abilities to handle what it is, which is not what a lot of ego-driven people want to believe it is. At all.

We are, all of us, at least once in our lives, ego-driven

The Ego gets a very bad rap. It is like this because a long time ago a whole bunch of people decided that they would tell the world what the ego is. We have all been raised by a society which tells us that what we have tells the world who we are, but that is not the case these days. What we have, literally, is only our very selves. Sure, we all have other people in our lives, but, when it is our time to return to Spirit, we are by ourselves, and we are the ones who have left a lot behind, and sometimes what we leave behind is the residue of the hurt that we suffered throughout our lives, which is the hurt that we could not let go of even and up to that point.

It is the Ego which tells us that we should or should not protect certain aspects of who we are.

When the time comes that we are hurt, even egregiously so, it is our ego self that comes to the forefront. It is our ego self that either can hang with the hurt and can help us get out of the way of more harm and how to do that. Just as much as it is our ego self who, when it has been challenged, will puff its chest out, get mouthy and daring, saying things and doing things that will only serve to cause havoc and more damage. The bitch of it all is that it is not only damage to others, but most of all, that damage is something that we, ourselves, cannot and will not ever escape.

When first we practice to put a hurt on someone, namely when we are aware of ourselves doing it, it is at that moment that, too, we are also putting it on ourselves, that same hurt that we wanted someone, anyone else, namely and especially someone who we say that we love. This does not mean that we do not love them when we get angry with them, but when we get angry with them and choose to not forgive them is when the reality should hit home that if we want others to forgive us, then we have to practice it ourselves, both with others, as well as our very selves.

It is the same that thing I teach other people, this art of forgiving those who have wronged us. And believe me when I tell you that indeed, it is a true art form because the fact of the matter is that, as a whole, humanity does not like its truth, even a fabricated truth, fucked with.

We do not like our beliefs, do not like the things that we like, do not like our sheltered little lives fucked with, at all, and when it is that someone has come along, regardless of what their intentions were at the time of the failure and gives us a lesson in love that we are not ready to deal with, it shows.

This means that when we are told that something will happen on a given date, or that what we want to happen can happen, or really, anything at all in the manner that tells us that somehow, we are about to score huge, at the same time that we are made happy, we also need to be very keenly aware, as well, of the reason as to why we are happy.

We know that if we are happy because we thought we were lied to about a whole lot of things, only to find out that not the thing, but the timing of the thing, was not what we thought it would be, and we go on to say that we believe that the thing is GOING TO happen on this date, and it doesn’t happen…whether or not we can handle it in the manner that is telling us that we can deal with it, or whether we are telling the story of how we, alone, were wronged without also looking at the other things that maybe someone else was looking at, even as it is the same thing, we have some serious self-checkin’ that has to happen because without that self-checkin’ the thing that happens afterwards and until we do so is called self-wreckin’.

Self-Wreckin’

Self-Wreckin’ is that thing that all of us does, guaranteed. We are humans, and my experience with humans on the whole is that, while it is that we are way, way cool biological as well as ethereal specimens, given that we are born with the ability to reason, means that we also have the ability to be highly unreasonable. This is not to say that none of us who is evolved enough to know better won’t, for a few minutes now and again, find ourselves somewhat a bit devolved. It means that we are human and capable of being our greatest shot at being undone.

The only way that other people wreck us is if we allow it, and even then, when it is that we have one thing, one goal, one place that we see with our mind’s eyes that we cannot let go of because to us, that is the perfection of our own making, and that is the thing that we need to look at, in its face and not be afraid to let it go.

You see, I have lots of clients who do not understand this, lots of students who want to think past the teacher, which is fine, because I did that too, recently even, and yes, I had to face a hurtful truth that pissed me off and while it did not make me feel foolish, it indeed DID make me know that sometimes, when the lesson is taught and we have learned, the only thing left to do is vent out the feelings to a trusted person, and then finally just let it all go, including the person who caused the ache.

Our Ego-Self is the part of us that tells us that we have to protect who we are, but the problem with that is that sometimes, we go into parent mode and we want to save our own selves from the shock and the hurt that might end up becoming more than we can handle, that is, if we are not brave enough to face our own selves.

We can become brave, though, and we can face what we think we cannot, no matter what, or who, it might be. The only thing that we have to do is listen to the pining of our souls. If we listen to our souls, and we go headlong into the fracas brought by others, and in that messiness can find our place in it, we will also find there the freedom that we so crave, not just from the assholes who visit our lives so that we may learn the lessons that they bring to us, but more, from our very selves.

I Love You All !

ROX

GhettoAllegory Neptune

Click the picture to read The Ghetto Allegory

Visit my website , read my teaching blog, come and hang out with me at bandbacktogether.com…yup…I’ve written a few books, teach hula as both Medicine and as some of the funniest luau entertainment that a group of employees has ever had the opportunity to take pics of the higher ups learning hula from me…yup…at company parties…of course, I also marry peoplecoach individuals and groups…I do LOTS of stuff…because I’m just Rox, and that’s how I roll…follow me on Twitter…but above all…smile and laugh a lot – folks will either think you are talkin’ smack about ’em…or you’re crazy ! Either way, it’s just you being you !! Aloha! I Love You All! ROX


May your days be merry and bright

Today, and if only for today, remember…

I normally won’t write something the day before any major holiday. I did, a long time ago, but it always seemed like it was something that everyone else did, and if you all have not yet figured it out yet, I am so not everyone else. This is what today’s Merry Mana’o is about, to remind you to remember what is good, to recall what you learned from the things that hurt you, and most of all, to never forget that Love always prevails.

Sure, 2014 has not been the kindest of years for a whole lot of us, but I am sure that if we each and all stopped for a moment and thought about what the pain from the year has actually given to us each, we would learn to better use that energy of pain towards the energy that is wholeness.

Remember, if you remember anything at all, that holidays are not about the singular person, that they’re meant for us to be able to see things from that part within us that is about who we are for real, and not who we think the world expects us to be.

You can sit there, reading this, believing that I am writing to one person in particular, but that would not be the truth, and y’all know about me and the truth – it is the very life’s blood of everything that you see and know as the reality of not what you have been through, but more, who you are.

Lots of us have been given the beautiful truths that we longed for and those beautiful truths happened upon our lives all while there was not but ugliness all around, and in that ugliness there still is a bit of beauty, that things that i referred to in the past as being the beauty in the pile of excrement that we each and all have dared call our lives.

But that is what they are – ours, and they are ours to do with what we will, even and all the way down to questioning our own motives for our own truths… even if we found out that somewhere within us might have been the truth that we cannot deal with that is ours. Whether you believe it or not, that – the truth – is the greatest gift that any one of us could hope or wish for.

The truth about anything sets us each and all free, not from the hurtful intentions of others, but more, from our blindness to what is our own truth, our own damage, our own selves.  We each and all have a very hard time looking at our own damage. Regardless if it were someone else who gave it to us, we must see it as the ultimate gift, because contained within that gift are the facets of who we really are, which is the actual reason as to why we each have such a hard time with our own truth.

One day, each of us will choose to embrace the truth, and when that day happens, it is like opening up a Christmas gift that only we could give to ourselves. That gift is trust, perhaps not of everyone else in our lives, but most assuredly, eventually, of our very selves.

We can only look back at this year called 2014, at each and every piece of what has occurred, at what we have each lost, and what, more importantly, we have gained through it all, and forever we will know that what we experienced was meant to teach us about who we are, and for the most part, the majority of us all, in the singular manner, have come closer to that Stand Alone person who we are each and all striving to be.

Stand Alone, as I have often said and often say to many others, is not all alone, because in order to become Stand Alone, one must first know what it is like to be truly and completely all alone. I know that really, we are not ever totally alone, but all of us knows what it feels like to be by ourselves, to be lonely and to feel like no one loves us. Then one day the Mother Goddess sees to it that we understand that when we are meant to no longer just be all by ourselves, and when it is that She knows we are capable of being with ourselves and are fine and good in that manner,that the lessons of the year which passed come fully into play for us.

It is when it all makes perfect sense, and also when we can easily fit the pieces of our own selves into the puzzle that we call “our life”that we begin to see clearly, like the sun finally broke through the clouds.

So, on that note, and given that it is today, I will bid you all with this much…

When you see the children laughing and playing tomorrow morning, riding their new bikes or playing with their new toys, remember that joy, the very same joy that was yours, long before the world set in.

When you sit to break bread with others, whether tonight or tomorrow, and as you hear the evening prayer for the holiday meal, remember to say thank you to Spirit for bringing you together with these same people, people who, even as they may well drive you crazy throughout the year otherwise, they are a part of your holiday, so be grateful that you have lived long enough to see them age gracefully, too.

Remain solid in who you are, and never waiver from that person, because in doing so, you allow others to also do the same.

Most of all, though, do not fail to Love, because really, it is what brings us to our knees, makes us hurt, cry, rage, and paradoxically, is also which makes us whole again.

Mele Kalikimaka me ka Hau’oli Makahiki Hou…

May your days be merry and bright…Aloha!

I Love You All!

ROX

Merry Christmas Mana'o Blog 2014 shoot your eye out lol

 


%d bloggers like this: