There is no real instruction book about this stuff. There is no God who will act as Genie or Judge on your behalf. Basically, we just all need to get the hell out of our own way.
We get in our own way by doing everything via our own limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are those things that I can only define as being self-doubt. My friend Melody Fletcher writes about these things in her blog, “Deliberate Receiving,” where she explains in human being language about these things.
The reason that I am again writing about the Law of Attraction is because the mind scientist in me really is trying to understand what a limiting belief is. I have heard all kinds of things about them, these thoughts that continually play over and over again in our minds and the very ones that cause us to think the things that will not draw to us what it is that we both need and want. Recently I wrote in one of my blogs that I am phenomenal at getting in my own way and by doing so, end up having to wait for the things to happen in my life that I know are already on their way.
The problem with me and most people is that we have been programmed to believe things that other people have projected on to us. Melody just wrote about this one thing in her blog, about how it is that we are more willing to believe what others have said about us, more willing to believe the crap we tell ourselves to make those painful things hurt just a little more. The reason that we do this is because while it is that we have been programmed to believe what is not the entire truth about us, what we have not been taught is how to undo that thinking and replace it with better and believable thoughts about anything at all.
Better and Believable Thoughts
What I mean by having a better and believable thought is simply my way of telling anyone that there is a way to make it so that you do not have to believe the things that you have always believed, regardless if they are believable or not – what matters is if they are tangibly and technically true. If they are tangibly (material) or technically (you know…”by the book” so to speak) the truth and they are pertaining to ourselves and these thoughts are not particularly the greatest ones that we have about ourselves, the way that we can change those thoughts is to simply try hard to make them easier to digest by turning them into believable neutral (or, you know, EVEN POSITIVE THOUGHTS) thoughts.
A believable thought is something that, well…duh…is a belief that we have formed about ourselves or anyone else and that is backed with proof. All proof will vary between people because we all perceive things differently. Even though we might have all witnessed something at the same time, and even as that event is tangibly the same, the way that we each take it in and process it will be different. This same thing applies to how we go about believing what we will choose to believe.
Yes..choose…to believe, because in order for us to believe that something is the truth, we have to go through our own process of elimination, not with anything or anyone else but our very selves. This is the part that is the challenge, is the part that, if we are not already practicing the art of letting go of things (energies and beliefs) is the hardest part of all because this part calls upon us to not only look at what it is that is blocking our way (always it is us) but more, why it is that we want so badly to believe that what is happening is what we deserve. This is not the truth. What is the truth, at least the way that I have further understood it, is that that which we are going through might have to happen, but it is not the truth of us, and the sooner that we accept that it is a truth and one that is causing us more and more strife, we are then able to allow it to go away. It is not an easy process.
I know this one.
I know this one because I tend to only be able to manifest really really big and life changing things, which I know sounds great in writing, but the truth is that when manifesting huge things is going on, so, too, is the sifting of beliefs and the sorting of truths that we would rather not have to deal with or face. When we are not dealing with it, according to Melody, whatever the “it” is tends to grow bigger and nastier, and it does this so that it can have our attention in the manner that it is meant to which is usually pretty harsh. We cannot, at those times when harshness is part of our awareness, focus on the things that we want because we are so focused on what we do not want that what we do not want is what we end up with. This makes the process begin again. And again. And again until we are able to emotionally deal with our own bullshit.
What is nestled within the confines of our own bullshit are the energies that are needed for both the perceivable “good” to happen and equally are there the energies for things to experience things that are equally and perceivable “bad.” Because we believe the things that are not that great, it is easier for us to draw those things and situations to our lives. Sometimes we go through things that we like, but most of the time, in thinking about things that are not that great, we are given the opportunity to fine tune ourselves and our thinking. I know this is not easy to think about in that manner, because the human flesh and blood aspect of things is always in play.
What is easy, though, as I have found out on my own, is that things that happen again and again allow us to form a new thought pattern. Within that energy is also the seed to correct the things that we believe as the truth that we know, topically, are anything BUT the truth. The hard part is seeing ourselves through the eyes of Love within us and for us and not through the eyes of harsh judgment on ourselves like we have always typically done. The reason that we do this to ourselves is because we believe the bad things about ourselves that others have told us, but we do not believe the good, because the good is hard to come by. People are more available to us to give us that bullshit called “constructive criticism,” and really, that phrase is a paradox because how can anyone construct (you know…BUILD…someone else up) with criticism?
Think about it in those terms and seriously, if you think that this crap called “constructive criticism” is anything more than our permission to be nasty (albeit in the nicest crappy way possible) to someone else – YOU NEED TO THINK AGAIN!
There is nothing quite more hurtful than to have someone be there for you in the worst possible way.
I have been the target of other peoples’ “constructive criticism” for so long now that it took me a while to figure out that it is only their opinion of the things that I was doing and was not about me. In fact, any time at all that someone else feels the need to correct, opine, make you feel like you are somehow stupid or weak and they use that term “constructive criticism” with you, you can guarantee that at that moment, you are not being built up, but torn down, and it, no matter what you want to believe, is meant to make you feel bad, not think. In fact, if someone else feels the need to make you think about how it is that you are feeling at any given time is somehow any of their business to suggest any kind of solution and they, themselves, have no real idea of what you have actually been through?
Yeah…to hell with that, and to hell with them. In our lifetimes, we are given that thing called “Free Will choices,” and because of those things, we are ALL prone to someone else’s disapproving bullshit and really, the reason that anyone would “constructively criticize” ANYONE is not for the person, at least most of the time, who they are giving this “help” to. It is all and only for themselves so that THEY can feel better about either having helped someone else (gotta be fair – some people are natural born assholes and this is just how they roll), or, they did and said what they did because somehow, they are the fucking expert on all things “You.” That is YOUR job to decide who is and who is not the one to make those choices. It is not up to others to make us feel bad in hopes that making us feel bad or worse than we already do is somehow helpful. It is only ours to make, this life that we each live and share with one another, singularly as well as collectively.
We end up believing other peoples’ beliefs
If there is anything that I know a whole lot about, it is beliefs of all sorts. I should. I am a Pisces. Our astrological personality motto is “I Believe.”
Why would I NOT believe things and be supportive of those things in terms of what other people believe? Why would I just take it for granted that other people are going to be just fine with it if I do not believe the way that they believe in certain things?
If we each and all asked ourselves once in awhile why it is that we believe what we believe and who told us about what to believe and what their reasons are for others to believe what they do, we would find out that we are more inclined to think about and in terms of our own selves rather than to follow what lead others may offer. That is the ugly part of all of these things that I write about – we are not aware of it that other people are trying, all the time, to convince us to believe what they believe. What they are not telling us, because they might not know this until right this minute, is that when other people try to get us to believe something, it is because they totally believe what it is that they believe, or, really, they do NOT believe AT ALL what it is that they are believing, so instead of asking themselves a few focused questioned, they go out into the world to try hard to do this convincing thing with others because they need the confirmation that they are not insane.
My thought has always been and only recently within the last ten years is that if you have to get other people to help you believe something that you are already having a hard time believing, then you are not truly believing it. I am reminded of the one thing that has always been prevalent in my life – religion. I was raised primarily to grow into my adulthood still believing the things that I was taught in church growing up. Yet, the things that I was taught while growing up, I find, are in direct conflict with the things that I now know as the truth of Me. My brother is the one who well described the God who I was raised with – his exact words were “The God who is Genie and Judge.”
It was in that moment that I finally understood a whole lot of the reasons why it was that I know I have been mistreated from a very young age in my life, and that all of the things that broke my heart throughout my time in this body and this awareness are what taught me to fear rather than to do what is very challenging for me to do now, which is to believe that what others who dearly love me tell me all the time – that I am a good person, that I did not deserve the life that I have lived, that there is new life ahead of me and that I am lucky that I will not be alone to travel that path.
The reason that I know things happened this way is because without my knowing I was doing so, I was focused on the things that I knew I really, really wanted as a part of my life. In doing so I started to rebuild my life in the Now from the rubble that was “then.”
The Rebuild
Of course, this is the part where most folks would start writing their cheers to get people motivated, but I am not that sort of coach.
I am that coach who will make certain that you are aware, as much as I can make you aware, and without hurting your feelings, your pride, who you are, of the things that are of no use to your path. This is not to say that those things and events and the like were not purposeful when they had to be. It is only to say that just like an old pair of shoes, the ways of being that we have always dealt with in ourselves also end up being worn out. What no one seems to think about is that we like those old shoes because they are comfortable, their insides worn to a wonderful comfy nastiness, and we are remiss to let them go. We bitch and complain (okay I bitch and complain) about not knowing how to come about something very needed and at the same time, instead of coming away from that thought and forming a new thought that means the very same thing but is vibrationally a kinder energetic match, we end up going through the thoughts in our heads of the things that we have tried and have failed.
It is the human tendency to only “see” the failures. It is the human tendency to believe that we alone are who brought the failures, when in reality when a failure happens, we are not thinking about the idea that we did everything we could to rectify it. We are not believing that much, and what we are believing is only the end result.
We humans…okay THIS human…has a very bad habit of sticking herself to the outcome that she would like to have rather than seeing all of the possibilities, not bothering with what else is also possible and might even be better than the one that we so badly want to see. Because I am a Pisces, and I am only speaking about myself in particular, I know that when I come up with an idea, it will be grandiose (think unicorns and mermaids grandiose…quit laughing at me…keep reading…haha…). It is not that the ideas that I come up with are not workable, but initially, they are just a lot too lofty for even me to actually wrap my head around.
Yet, there does, after some time, come to my head the paring down effects of reality and how it is that reality itself is the reason why I would think in such grand fashion – because of the equal force of the opposite energy which is all very good. When we think of things that we want to see happen, we are more inclined to doubt that those things will happen, and it is because a lot of us like to fantasize without also and eventually coming back to our own grounded selves and thinking in terms of making something more workable, no matter what it is. As grandiose as the good things are, the grandiose of the bad thoughts are big, maybe bigger, than that of the good ones.
Clearly, you can see, just from that sentence alone, that no matter what, we are able to turn the bad into the good, but it will take time and patience and all of those other things that we learn to have, every day of our lives.
Everything in this lifetime begins with an idea, the spark of imagination which was granted to us each upon our conception. We are all given to flights of fancy and all of us are prone to being very disappointed if what we envision does not turn out the very way that we see it with our mind’s eyes. When we think , too, in terms of how long it takes to rebuild anything at all, time is needed, not only for the actual rebuild of things, but more, for the tearing down of the remaining “old” and the planning of what is to be. We are not all there, at least not mentally, when things begin to break down and life feels like it is just constantly kicking us in the head.
We are not ready to accept the responsibility of creating, from the ground up, alongside others like us who are also in a state of rebuilding, the life that we are meant to share with others. We are not able, yet, to see the thing that we are creating or the fact that the things that we are making real for ourselves are also meant for the rest of our personal soul tribe and ultimately the entire world. If we keep on believing things that are not the truth of us, and we keep on trying to make it so that who we are fits other peoples’ perception of us, and we continually try to make it so that we have THEIR opinion of us to live down to rather than our own to simply just create, we will find ourselves right here, again, where we are, where the pain of not knowing the outcome of things is prevalent.
The thing that taught me the very most is Algebraic equations with variables in them. We do not know what the letter symbolizes without working through the problem to create the correct equation. Without our working through those problems, we either end up with the problem being worked incorrectly and we end up with the wrong answer, or, we take the shortcut which involves us skipping steps and listening to other people about who we are and believing them. This makes the things that we are building with certain others in our lives damned nearly impossible to build. All we know is where we have been, and the only people we think we know are those who brought us all the lessons that harmed us. We forget that there are those in our lives who are very well ready and able to point out to us what are our attributes and most of those people are very gentle when they tell us that we might be who is in our own way. These are the people who are willing to at least guide us to our own answers. These are the ones who we call our “Soul Tribe,” because they are willing to try to NOT harm who we are so that who they know we are trying to evolve to becoming is not already damaged when fruitioning of that new version of ourselves becomes apparent.
When we can finally accept that in order for the new in our lives to herald in what else will also be new, and when we can learn patience and acceptance and how to love that which we do not deem as lovable about us, embrace it completely and forgive our own selves for having been as harsh as anyone who meant to hurt us has been …this is when we will actually be able to feel the changes, which will then show to us the reality of who and what we each are.
Knowing who and what we are is tantamount in importance because without knowing those things, we cannot know who we can and should believe. Lots of us human beings have this problem with knowing other people way more than we know our own selves. More than that, we also have this…problem…with being afraid to trust us, even though we will trust anyone and everyone else with our most precious resource…
…our damned selves…
Think about it…
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