When learning things regarding our lessons, there are things that cannot be said for the simple reason that if it is said, it cannot be learned.
When I started college, my initial “thing” was to study Behavioral Science so that when I chose to grow up into the teacher that I did not know I was meant to be (and that is SO not what I imagined it to be), I would be able to not only help other people retrain their brain to think right (and thereby act right), but more, I would be able to stand in front of a gallery of young college students and teach them what I know about our behavior and why we are so prone to trippin’ out all the time over things that we ought not be trippin’ about.
It didn’t happen that way.
I had NO CLUE that, indeed, I was meant to become a teacher of things, but not of things contained in actual academic texts, and neither of things, at least in the manner of speaking in terms and about things…academic…but rather and only in terms of bigger, more important things…things like daily walking the healing Path, and daily living a Spiritually led life. Little did I know that I would be able to use what I know and what I learned in college to further the actual teaching that I would do, which is not just right here every week, but out in the real world of souls which, in case none of you have looked at things in the manner that I constantly look at them, not everyone is going to end up in college, and not everyone is going to be able to discern for themselves what it is that is their “trip” in terms of what they’re trippin’ on.
Teaching People How Not To Be Trippin’
My work in this world became evident to me a couple of years ago, when I was on the phone at one point with the lovely April, and then at another point, the equally as lovely Dannie. One of them said that hula would be mine forever, but that it was not going to be what it had always been for me but would become SO much more than what ANY Kumu Hula could imagine, and she was right. The other said that if I thought that everything I knew at that point, and now, everything I know plus everything that I employ daily as a means for helping others learn, was meant to be contained and locked within the confines of the conventional classroom, I had another thing comin’ (yeah yeah shut up…I love my leather clad mahus…get over it lol).
Where one told me that I would never stop dancing OR teaching hula, the other told me that it would be through not only what I’d learned in college, but more, what I’d learned through all the crap that I had gone through for so long and that seemed normal to me. Even though I knew that the things that I had been witness to, things that I had experienced in my life even to that point, in my mid-30’s, were some of the most … horrific experiences… in terms of emotional toll taken, when it was that I was told these things and because of all of the things that shook my very core and shook the trust in others right out of me, I knew that I could trust my two best friends. I knew that I could trust them because they’d both been telling me things, sometimes outright, and sometimes in a veil of mystery.
A Veil of Mystery
*Clears Throat* …ahem…students…welcome to class today. This part of this writing is addressing those who I am actively teaching, those who are feeling like they are at their wit’s ends with my telling you each that the things that you want to know, versus the things that you need to know, combined with the things that I know and the things that I cannot tell you are what this is all about today.
Yep…don’t I know it? I know that many of you cannot stand the idea that there have been more than only a few times that I have said to the each of you that the thing that you are asking me to tell you is the very thing that you are learning about and that because you are learning that one thing, I am not able to tell you what you want to know that you already know that I do know, and you know that I know because I told you that I know.
And indeed, I have a problem with this one thing, too, and yes, my own teachers, to this day, STILL tell me the VERY SAME THINGS that I tell all of you – that if I knew I could tell you what it is that you are meant to be learning, I would. If I knew that what you are learning was something that I would not have to reexperience myself, that I would have to go through again, that I would have to deal with even though I had already gone through it, I would. If I knew that you were not as close as you are to where you are meant to be with this one thing, I might give you a hint, but I cannot just tell you what it is that you want to know because of one thing…
Yes, you read that right – if I tell you what you have asked me to tell you, have had a tantrum over not knowing and have told me that you don’t care if you have to learn it and that you will learn it and use the information that I give you as Cliff notes, not only will I have to relearn that same lesson but not for the same reasons that you, yourself, are learning it, but it will likely suck for me way, way more than it did the first time because – yes, I’ve already been there, I’ve already done that, and in sharing my cheat sheet with anyone at all, it is like my telling Spirit that I need to retake the test.
Think about when you were in high school and that one teacher with a hard on for NOT telling any of us what we wanted to know and realize that this is the very same thing, only it is not a grade you are working toward to get out of high school, but rather and only the armor needed to get through the next lesson you will learn in relation to the one that you are learning and that I cannot tell you what you want me to tell you.
The reason that we are met with difficulties in our lives, and the reason that things seem to come crashing down onto us at the most inconvenient times in our lives, and the reason that you secretly will wish my brain to collapse, dry, shrivel up into a walnut in my skull is so that we can master that part of our lives. Unlike the grading scale in conventional school and typical learning, being taught to navigate your life from the Soul out, and more – mastering it all – is hands on. This means that you don’t get to have a book, and you don’t get to have extra credit, and nothing that is familiar to you in terms of how you have learned things in the manner that is learning in the traditional sense – none of that will be of any good purpose for you when it comes to lessons in coping, lessons in growing, in acceptance, in Loving who you are. And really, THAT is what it is that seems to be SO difficult about all of this weirdness that you are all learning, not only about me, but more importantly, about you.
The reality is that in this lifetime we need some sort of guidance, some of us more than others, but not because some of us are more duh than others, but because all of us are learning something different at the same time. What I am learning is not what you are learning, but this does not mean that there is not anyone else on the planet or even within my own awareness who is also not learning the same thing, perhaps, as any one of us would be at any given time at at all.
The Karmic Thing About Teaching
Yes…there’s that word that you all love to hate – Karma, Karmic, whatever – and you hate it because every time I use it, you KNOW that there is something that you are going to learn whether you want to or not, and that what you are learning, I already know about, and that I am not able to tell you how to get out of. It just has to be done and I cannot tell you because really, if I tell you what you are learning about, I will have to go through that lesson of NOT telling you.
It is like when a mother is teaching her kid to behave – at first, we might tell that kid about what they are doing that is not okay to do, and then when they do it again and again, we want to trip out on them and tell them how to do that one thing that we know will keep them out of the spot they are in at the moment. Yet, every parent knows that the kid will not listen, will not do what he or she has been told will get them out of the spot they’re in. Most parents will go out of their minds about that one thing, will try, over and over again to get that kid to do things they need to do in order to get out of that spot.
In the same manner, students of many different spiritual paths will end up that same way. I know this. I was this student and more times than not am still this student, and like a rock-headed human being, I have a snit, and I beg and plead and ask and to no avail – still, I must learn, and still, my teachers, like I will not, do not budge.
So, kiddos, that is why I cannot tell you more than I tell you, why I will not allow you, as my charge, to not learn, because that is my place in your life – teacher. And I am a damned good one. I was told so…by my own teachers…and yep, haha….it was one of those things that I was not allowed to be told and that I had to learn…
I Love You All !
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