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Forcing Change


The Eclipsed Libra Moon

We all know about change. We all know that a lot of us on this planet hate going through changes. The Full Moon in Libra tomorrow (4/4/2015) brings with it the balance that we all need to live. What it also brings with it is the promise of that which is no longer useful to us, is outdated, is not a good thing for us to have in terms of our own personal evolution become no longer a part of our collective experience as human beings on Earth.

That picture of the rubble is right here in sunny Southern California, in that famed and fabled place that a whole lot of movies and one song in particular has made famous – the San Fernando Valley of Southern California. That is a photograph of the afterward of the Northridge earthquake which happened in January of 1994.

At that time I was living here in P-Town, and at that time I was carrying Jeremy, my oldest who is now 21. At that time I was still convinced that I was something that I now know without a doubt that I am so, so very NOT! (I’m sorry, but I don’t do church, guys…figure it out).

At that time, I did not realize what was happening and at that time I knew, because of Jeremy, that a LOT of change was about to take place. The change that I needed mostly was the change that would have been brought with my no longer being physically abused, which did happen, but is also what made the emotional abuse that much more difficult on me.

The change that I needed the most, in fact, did not come to my brain until that baby who, at the time of the Northridge quake, was not even born into this consciousness until that same March, was 18 years old.

The changes needed came to me in 2012, which was when I chose to no longer be someone else’s victim and instead chose to become my own Survivor.  While it was not that the moon was eclipsing that night, what was eclipsing was the idea that the things that were no longer needed by me were being revealed, in the most ugly possible way that they could be.

It was not that anyone outside of me needed to change for me, but instead was that I needed to choose the change that needed to be.

At that time, and on that date, the moon was in Virgo, which is the nit-picky and cleansing energy that makes us do what we need to do in order that we can be the best at who we are. That is what Virgo is all about – organizing all of our tangibles, so that our intangible thoughts can rest.

At this time, though, we have the sun in Aries, with the moon in its opposing sign, which is Libra, the guy in the zodiac who is responsible for balancing things out, making things right, so that life can be at its balanced best. This time though, we have all this other planetary stuff going on, and it is stuff that is adding to the power of this already powerful moon and the lunar eclipse happening tomorrow…on a very numerologically powerful day, namely for someone like me, who is Hawai’ain. (4/4/2015 = the number 4 is sacred to us Maoli folks…you have two 4’s and 2+0+1+5 = 8…another two 4’s…anyway…)

All this other planetary stuff going on = all this other earthly change and shaking up of things going on…

In order to understand what I am talking about, you might want to check out Dr. Loretta Standley’s website, and look at the links which will take you to the generational and global forecasts. I am not able to do more than tell you all what it’s all about, and if you want a deeper explanation of all of this weirdness, my best suggestion is to go and look at what she has to say – she is very good at this planetary other stuff going on.

Anyhow, we have to think about the things that are going on in our personal worlds and apply that same thing to the grander world at large that we all share and all live in.

The things that are GOING TO happen will change our lives for the better, even though the things that happen could end up being of the cataclysmic sort for some of us. When I say that your foundation will be shaken, I beg you to please not freak out about it, because really, the things that are about to change are the very things that NEED to be changed because without that change, the things that we each and all desire to be in our lives cannot happen.

We cannot expect all these new things and all this new change that is upon us to happen where there is stagnancy and the opposite of growth.  It is like Einstein said a very long time ago in that, we want different results from the same things that we do and that we think will solve our problems, but we are so crazy with the idea that we can hang on to what is old and not useful, sometimes for sympathy reasons, that we have no room for what is new and needed.

And the people who are like this are the ones who bitch about it the most. This is not to say that some folks who hang on to tangibles are by any means the same folks who hang on to old hurts they way that they hold on to an old vinyl 45…it ain’t the same…I think you get what I am saying.

When I say that Libra is the sign of balance and harmony, I mean just that, but you have to also think about what else is going on in the heavens in order to see how it is that Libra is going to work through all of this change. Libra is the peace maker, but there are other guys up in the sky who are the guys who are GOING TO DEMOLISH all that which is no longer needed for all of us and in all of our lives.

Whatever is holding you back…

If you can think less about the astrology of all of this, and focus more on the human being side of this where we are all going to be affected by this, you can think in terms of things that you can no longer wear because they don’t fit, or they are tattered and worn (even though you love all of them), or have gone the way of the freecycle and now are someone else’s to love and to wear.

In that same manner, I am sure that there are parts of your life, of your personality, of you that you know need to no longer be the way that they are.

For some of us it means that we have to rethink our entire way of doing things. For others, it means that we have to rid ourselves of things that no longer serve us. For us all, though, it means that we are about to get what we have asked for, or, what we were askin’ for. For all of us, we are about to witness things happening with and to people who we would never dream those things happening to anyone, and it is all meant.

Some of us will go through a lot of material change, but for the most part, what this full moon is about to bring us to is the light out of the darkness, even if we are not ready for it.

…and if we are not ready for it…

It won’t matter. Spirit does not work in the manner that is “when I’m ready to, then I’ll do it,” by any means. I know that there are a lot of you reading this who think that you are in control of everything, but I have news for ya – you’re NOT, and that is – that thought and that energy, whether you want to believe it or not, also about to change.

Some of us have already started feeling the changes as they approach, and in like manner we have chosen to just go with the flow, because we know that to fight it only makes the pain of change that much more painful.

I suppose that I am writing this today to all of you who really want to think that you can escape the fate of change. You can’t.

You cannot continue in the moldy way you have been doing things. You cannot keep on going through your own lives bitching all the time about what you don’t like, and if you think I am kidding, then you are going to find yourself bitching through the entire process of the change game.

You do not realize that you really have no choice, because the Mother Goddess has this thing that She does that we all have to do, because if we don’t do it, we are going to end up dead- inside, first, followed by the body, because when you think in terms of “everything outside of us and in our own reality is also inside of us,” you find a better picture of the reality of your reality.

The Reality of Your Reality

It really is this simple – what you see in your reality is shaped by your perception of what you are looking at.

Say you have a mountain of work to do and the work has to do with you going through mountains of stuff that you no longer need, stuff that is kept because of an emotional attachment to it, even if the thing you think you are not attached to itself holds no emotion within it for you. The fact that you spent money on it is the emotional attachment for you.

That you are emotionally attached to things is one thing, because we are all emotionally attached to more than we care to admit to being. However, that you might not realize how it is that you are emotionally attached to things that you might not have even bothered to think about for a long time is what is going to change for us all here within but a matter of a few days to a few weeks.

A global emotional enema

More like a Universal emotional enema. This weekend’s full moon is about uprooting the weeds in our lives, and making room for new things to grow there, namely our very selves.

We cannot grow if we are not willing to hurt, and lots of people do not know real hurt because they are emotional douche bags.

I know a whole lot of people who had the energy of being awarded with the Massengil Award of Excellence more than one time and for longer than they should have been the way that they might still be. I say “might still be” because I no longer have contact with these people because they do nothing in terms of knowing what it means to give room to others to be all the good, jacked up human being that they can be.

And those people…the ones who don’t give room for jacked up people to be jacked up yet loving people…those people will be the very ones who will feel these energies the strongest, because these are the people who have the very most ego to quell, and these are the very kind of people who have, for CENTURIES, made life really crappy for people who are not just like they are.

Those who judge will be judged, and those who do bad things in secret will have light shed on their doings. Those who do only for themselves under the guise of doing for others will be found out for the creepy people who they really are, and those who I have left out and are the others on the list of Massengil Award recipients will just have to deal with being on that list.

That list, I hear, is very long.

For too long the entirety of the planet, for generations and eons and centuries, has had this very ugly energy about it and surrounding it, the sort that is exclusive, and the sort that makes it so that regular people like me and you feel sometimes like Spirit hated us enough to make us have to work for our living rather than having it inherited to us. And if we are due for an inheritance, the things that hurt and the things that seem like they are taking forever at this time are happening because the Mother Goddess is trying to make you understand how you should NOT be.

It is not okay to show off, and the Mother Goddess and the current planetary energies are making sure that you understand this. You don’t need that much attention, namely if you are not that cool, and namely if you think that you must be worshiped in order for you to be any sort of good human being.

Good human beings do not need other human beings to worship us. Good human beings know already that our reward is not in the tangible things, even though sometimes that is exactly how those very rewards will show up.

I suppose that what I am writing about today is not meant for those of us who consider ourselves jacked up yet loving human beings.

I suppose that I am writing for the benefit of the Massengil Achievement Award recipients, the ones who like to show off and put their own perceived greatness in the faces of others.

I suppose that I am writing to warn all of the “better than you because I said so” types that they are about to find out that no, you are not, and you are about to find that out in likely the harshest ways that the collective of you can recall.

I suppose, really, that I am telling all of us that the harshness of change is meant to be, and that this time that change is on the globally felt scale.

It wise to retrofit your ego before you end up like that building in the picture

I Love You All !



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When we are in the midst of things that are not making us feel better about things and we are feeling very uncomfortable, it is time for us to take stock of who it is that we are at the moment versus who we used to be.

Being confined to a set scheduled work week is something that I find I have always been very dearly uncomfortable with. It is not because I do not like to work (truth is that I LOVE my work), but rather and only that I do not like confinement, and when I am feeling confined at all, I tend to get a little bit testy.

You see, there are times when “confinement” is not really confinement, and in those times where  it might seem like we are confined to one thing or another, and when it is that we have chosen to see whatever that one thing is as anything BUT being confined, the very word “confinement” takes on a new color – the one called “maturity.” Sometimes we have to deal through our own soul’s immaturity in some manner so that we can see through it and to the light that is the evolved manner we end up as being.

Yet, no one ever tells anyone (and no one ever means it unless they are a teacher of all things strange and weird and not exactly mainstream) that when we are growing and we know we are, that that growth, in some ways, is going to be very uncomfortable, and the un-comfort comes from the familiar things and ways of being that a whole hell of a lot of human beings don’t realize or perhaps even understand that evolving to one’s own higher self takes work, time, tears, and lots of un-comfort.


There are a lot of ways that the word “uncomfortable” can be thought as. My thought is that when we are in the middle of a thing that is making us have to wait, making us crazy with impatience and making us think thoughts about things that we would rather not deal with (when in fact we know we are supposed to deal with it all so that we no longer have to deal with it anymore…duh), this is when we are being taught directly by Spirit about what it is that we have been not acknowledging.

Now, not acknowledging things does not mean that we are ignoring them, really. It means that we are just not caring enough to have to deal with it or look at it and in that energy we choose instead to just not bother with that one thing.

But it is precisely that one thing that will continue to bother, continue to be the thing that we would rather not deal with and be the thing that we would hope to the Goddess would just sort of vanish and not be around. If you have been reading this blog for any amount of time at all, you will figure out one thing about it, and that one thing is that in our lives, there is nothing that will not be taught, that we will not be presented with, that will not be in our faces, again and again, over the course of our lifetimes, that, if we are meant to learn it, learn it we will.

And if we choose to not learn it by ignoring that whatever it is exists, we will also find that when it is time for that thing that we refuse to learn to just not be there anymore, that one thing will be the only thing that will present itself in the manner that we have not wanted it to for likely a very long time.

Our own discomfort with our un-comfort is sometimes unbearable.

The fact is that we have all been taught to not look at, not see to, not bother with, not acknowledge all those things that hurt us, that make us cry, make us grit our teeth so as to hold back the bitter and biting tears which, for a lot of us, need to fall from time to time. If they don’t fall, you will not realize the one truth that is apparent to the majority of us and that is that we are all human beings just being who we are.

Who we are is sort of a big fat deal

Of course, there are a folks who will not ever believe this, and that is okay, because those people are the very ones who should be reading this right now because those people are the very people who seem to think that what other people say about them is the truth, namely if it is the sort of thing that is not that flattering.

There are some folks who refuse to believe this because they believe that they are not good enough to have anyone say such things about them. The bottom line is that all human beings have the potential for greatness.In that greatness we have many options that point us in the direction that we are, as guided by Spirit and the very essence of that Spirit which resides within us, meant to be going.

Thing is, while we are growing up we are molded in the image of what is comfortable for those who are raising us into the human being that they want us to become. That is okay, but the other thing is that, whether we like it or not, our children or the kids who we raise have that thing called free will. Free will is that thing that we are all born with.

When we use our free will, we are doing as we are meant to be doing.

There are lot of people on this planet who want other people to believe that there is no such thing as free will. It is that particular group of people who, themselves, were taught and believe that while people do indeed have free will, there are only certain folks who we share the air with who are allowed to exercise it.

The un-comfort comes from our not wanting to let other people down, even if those other people are the sort who would never bother to think that somehow, they are letting anyone else down with who they are, are letting someone else down by not giving that other person the availability of their own free will choices when thinking in terms of relating to anyone else at all. That is really what happens here, when we think about it, when it all comes down to the idea that our un-comfort comes from ourselves in that we want to think that somehow, we are able to save everyone else from having to make uncomfortable choices.

We must learn to accept that we cannot help everyone, because sometimes, everyone needs to simply get a clue

In my life there are people who I am very willing to help. It is because those who are most willing to help themselves are also those who are most willing to help others if they can. This is the utmost highest form of unconditional love – helping others who cannot possibly even try to help us in return, and our not expecting to be helped back for the things that we do out of kindness and out of the Soul of Aloha.

Even as it is the most wonderful thing to be able to help others, namely those who cannot do anything in return for us, there comes a time when we must choose to be our own hero and see in front of us, NOT the opportunity to help someone else, but the opportunity to refer back to who we were. We must  realize that who we are is no longer that person, and take things from that vantage point, rather than the vantage point that makes us tired, that makes us want for something that is not up to us to try to make happen for anyone else without their knowing so.

It is in their knowing so that we come unhinged, as it is also that point where, rather than the soul within us rising up to take notice and take the opportunity to see, it is the ego self who rises to the occasion and it is through that reckoning that we will see, for sure, who we are trying to help more – this other person (because we actually care about their well-being) or our sometimes energy-vampiring ego-selves who need the pat on the back for thinking the thought that we would help anyone else at all and that we would also receive lots of attention for having done so.

When we are in a state of un-comfort, we are in a state of learning about what we have evolved, or perhaps devolved, to.

Change is not subject to our automatically being turned into the super heroes we are meant to become in this lifetime. Hell no.

What we are all given to being given is that we are brought through others all of these things that we need to learn about ourselves. Other people, no matter who they are, mirror for us the people who we are, the people who we are becoming, or the people who we no longer can recognize as being.

When someone makes us uncomfortable, our inner selves tell us so. When we are in the company of people who are meant to be part of our soul tribe, again, we are told by the very soul within us that this person or these people are our tribe and that they have been gifted to us by the very Mother Goddess Herself.

When we take notice, consciously, that we are being shown anything at all, it is time to celebrate because it is within that energy of knowing that we are granted the greatest gift of all…

…the gift of evolving to our higher selves, one uncomfortable situation, person, thing …at a time…

I Love You All !


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Thanks for reading !! Aloha ! ROX


Ho’ohana – The Value of Intentional Effort

Rarely is it the thing that is appreciated as much as the thought behind the gifts that we give anyone at all which matters the most. 

There are times when my favorite question to ask is “What were you thinking?” and normally, it is never a bad thing. We love to give gifts, but we do not know that the reason we love to do so is because the reciprocal energy that is the Aloha contained within the intention.

I say it all the time, that it is our intention that matters the most in terms of things that we want for ourselves, and things that we want for others in our lives with whom we share a very real closeness of Spirit and Heart.

“Ho’ohana” – To Work

Giving, as far as human beings are concerned, is second nature. It is not until we are taught otherwise, taught that we have to have more than others, be better than others, become the best and thereby best each other, that we sort of lose this inborn ability toward giving to others what we want them to have from us, and more, what it is that they need in the soul-sense.

Tangible things are cool. We all love them, all want them, but in the truth of things, even though we love having all of our cool things, we are more inclined to feel a lot more like the Royal Family of Cool when we give. It is not in the tangible thing, once again, that our energy is stored in. It is in what we get back from these people that is intangible that we wait for, that we want and that we know, at least for the most part, we will get….a smile.

Effort is never without value

No matter what it is that we are doing, if it is worth the effort to even think about it, it is valuable (of course, unless it is to hurt someone else for whatever reason you think you have…doing that just makes you an extra giant douche bag, seriously). When we think about what we are having for dinner every night, we do so with the intention that is making our kids and families happy, not only with what has been prepared, but more, because we cared enough about it all to think about what they might like to have. When we think about creating a beautiful gift for someone else, it is not only the gift that is beautiful, but more, the thought behind the gift, because in that thought, we were prompted to think about the person who it is being created for, and in that effort, there is value.

When we tell a friend we will pick their kid up from school, just because we will be on that side of town, it is a beautiful effort, and when we gift others with tangible means – and means of anything at all – the thought alone is the beauty in it all.

Ho’ohana means “to work,” and in this instance, it is in the effort that is the work of Love that is the gift and not only the tangible gift itself.  This is why, sometimes, people are inclined to buy others some of the most ridiculous things – because in that effort of thought, you were loving those people. In that energy, you were not only dealing with how you feel about that person, but more, you were also thinking about how they also feel about you, in the soul sense, and in kind, always, the Universe gives to us each, the giver, the receiver, and everyone in between, the gift that is the energy of Aloha between souls.

It is the soul which sees and feels the effort, that makes the outer person experience through physical means the things that make them happy through and about other people.

And yes, this is really why ALL of us LOVES to help other people…okay, maybe if you are a selfish SOB, and maybe if you are one of those people who cannot see past the tip of your own damned nose …. then maybe you don’t give for any other reason than that you believe people will worship you, and in reality, they are worshiping the thing that you gave them. (Dumb ass)

The Effort Taken Toward Intangible Giving

There are a few people on this planet who personally know that if there is something that is really important to them that they need to happen for them, and that if I am able, in any manner, to help them make that happen, I will do for them what I am able to. This is not something that I have never done, but lately, it has become something that I know who I can do things for and trust, not that I will get back what I have given, but more, that I will know that they appreciate what it is that I am doing for them. Throughout the years, and because of the hellish time I had within a marriage that never worked, I learned, from that guy, a very important lesson, and one that I was well aware of for many years – that one thing is that not everyone can be bought.

Read that again, and realize, right now, that there are still a whole lot of us human type beings who believe that everything has a price, that everything is tangibly traded, that everyone will crack when a gift or monetary promise is involved. This is wrong. It is not our right, neither our duty, nor our place, to think so little of others that those others would not somehow clue into the idea that someone else is trying to manipulate them, that in those manipulations that cause some folks to think that money or items replace the reality of the energy behind it all, that the entirety of human beings on the planet somehow all have this one sin that we all fall short of the glory of ourselves with.

It ain’t the truth. The effort in this instance is not the right sort, is saddled with the energy of someone having to have absolute control over people, all through means and manipulations using tangible things. Anyone in their right, positive mind would never do this, because anyone in their right and positive mind would be mindful of how anyone else feels about anything else, namely if that “anything else” is the total energy of others believing that they can buy the loyalties of others, that they can, through their egotistical efforts, buy this sort of energy.

Too all the morons who think this way still

First, I must apologize to two of my teachers, because at this moment, and as she is reading this, or actually the moron thing, she is tsk tsking me…but, at least I know she loves me, and at least she knows that this sort of thing is something that I have gotta do or else my head will implode…

If you are one of these people who thinks that you and your tangible means can buy good people through the fake energy of “giving something” I must let you all know right now that the reason that it seems like no one is loyal to you, that no one wants to be around you, that you are alone in this lifetime without friends, without a true beloved,without your tribe of the Soul, is because when we try to “buy” peoples’ loyalty, we are not giving them the credit for being good enough to just be given something and more, you, yourself, through your manipulative effort, are not being loyal to them.

That’s right – I said it, I’ll keep on saying it, and hell yeah deal with it – you are disloyal, even to yourself, because what you do, think of, give to, whatever, “for” others, ultimately you are also doing to yourself. There is nothing quite as endearing as the truth of who we are, given through the efforts of what we do not have, and that we try to make happen for others, because of how pure our intentions are. Not enough gets said in terms of what the morons of the world and in the energy that is giving and neither about the reality of the karma that they will have returned to them. (It’s called a Karmic return – where the thing that you were meant to learn comes back to you..you know…RETURNS to you…to make you learn from that lesson…duh)

When we first think we are getting away with something, regardless if the other people who we think we are buying loyalty from catch on, this is when the Karma that will return to us is created. My question for the moron tribe is this – have you not paid any attention to the things that you are not aware of how they have happened in your life, and how they are connected to the things that you think are good things, but your intentions behind those things are less than honorable? It is in the less than honorable things that you are thinking, that you are intending to do, that you are exacting into the lives of other people that make this such a really not that great idea.

No, I’m not harpin’ on ya because I really think you are a moron, because some of the most intellectually superior people on the planet still have this one thing – this power over other people through tangible means thing – still to be healed, and yeah, I can promise you that it will not hurt to correct this now, but what will hurt is not if but WHEN the karma comes to you, and is to be made right, and you might not have the same means you do now. Hence, the reason that I tell anyone at all that it is nice to have a lot of means, a lot of ability to afford everything your heart desires, but it is quite another thing to believe that you can have the loyalties of people who you are not willing to show your true self to do that through. Buying people, or at least thinking you can, only makes them mad. I know this, because the baby daddy did this for years, and then one day, he no longer had the means and neither the ability to buy the loyalties of other people.  He is living his karmic return. Unfortunately, he still believes that the only thing that keeps a person loyal is the means by which other people can be bought. He still believes that it is the tangible means he used to have and was able to create that made us all vacate his life, rather than the FACT that when HE no longer had the means and neither the ability, that it was not he who was so repulsive, but that it was everyone else. I will state, now, for the record, in writing even, that when the man lost everything, got sick and HAD TO depend on us – he failed miserably in terms of recognizing that it was never his money, but him, who anyone wanted to be better.

To this day, he still believes that people are only interested in others if said people have the choice to try to buy loyalty. The one thing that I have never forgotten, which I learned, in and of all places – church as a youngster – is that the truth will always be revealed, and namely when it is a truth of ourselves that we don’t want to see, acknowledge or accept – it is what is meant by the saying that “the truth hurts.”

Fortunately for me, I have never really bought into the idea that we can have people be loyal to us with and through tangible means. It just won’t happen, because it will never be the real thing.

It is in our efforts of what we don’t think we can do, but that we so totally want to do, for other people, that causes the Mother Goddess to bless us with the means, at the right time and when we need it, to go out into this world and do what we were born to do, which is to ho’ohana for others through our energies, so that they may know the truth of what is Love, what is loyalty, what is family.

This holiday season, remember these things, because it is not what you can do, but what you put forth in valuable effort, for others, without feeling to have to have it given back, that makes the forever-gift of Aloha the one thing that, at this time of year, is needed more than our ability to outdo anyone else in terms of who brought the biggest, most expensive gifts, and more, who can no longer be bought with those gifts…

Think about the last time you felt like someone was trying to manipulate you with things, only to find out later that they no longer have those things to entice people falsely with.

How did that make you feel, and more, what did it tell you about the moron who tried to do it again?

Think about it…

I Love You All !


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