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It Scares You, Doesn’t It?

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What would you do if challenged to help, for real, using only who you are and what you do? What would you do if you were given the chance to be there, for real, for anyone at all and actually mean it?

We humans like believing that we help everyone we can. While this might be tangibly the truth, what is also the truth is that the underlying energy of the reason why we want to help others is not what we even think about.

The truth is that when we help someone else, we are also helping ourselves.

Work with me for a moment, will you? Let me take you someplace that not a lot of Professional Weirdos are willing to take anyone who ought to want to go to those proverbial places that we all want to visit but are scared to death to do that.

Yes – scared to death. We are terrified of doing right by others, because we do not know how to feel okay with ourselves without also feeling guilty for having felt like that (truth), and on the other side of that, others are scared to help because those others, even while they will not admit it, are doing things solely for the purpose of being thanked and knowing that they were depended on, meaning that to some degree and specifically if they do not realize this, was all about controlling someone else through measures of instilling guilt, shame, self-loathing, into the person who they are claiming they want to help.

And the most …not thought about…part of all of this helping others and the manner which we are doing it, and the reason why we each and all particularly have in terms of helping others. I can say right now that there was a time, a long time ago, that I would help damned nearly anyone who ever came to me for my help. Little did I realize that sometimes, those people were not playing fairly, using my words against others as though that is what my intention was when I began to work with them. When what I told them was used against the person who they were trying to be with, and also worked against these particular clients’ plans other than what I was hoping they would do (which was simply to heal themselves and learn from the harsh things going on in their lives, but they didn’t), I became very upset, to the point of rage. No one needs that.

There were times that I wanted to help them so that they could help me not feel guilty for not putting myself, my beliefs, my values and who I am aside, for not dumbing myself down, for not failing me, but in those times, I reminded myself that being manipulated to help someone else, by that someone else, was not going to help my cause of helping people help themselves be better at being who they really are. I reminded myself that I cannot help everyone, because the truth is that not everyone is able to be helped. You see, that is the part of being able to see one’s own self from a third person point of view – the ability to see where it is that perhaps we might need to work on ourselves. I get a lot of emails asking me about my reasons for doing things for other people and other groups of people, asking me why it is that I do not demand pay for these things from some of these groups, and the truth is that the groups in question are typically not groups of adults, but groups of kids whose parents are not able to help them in the same manner that someone else’s mom whose mission in life is imparting the truth onto the populace.

The only thing that I can say to these and in answer to these questions is because kids need all the help that they can get, because they are kids. I then ask these people if they recall being a kid, at any age, and how at all times they were terrified of everything, and usually I will remind them that the reason they are asking me that specific question is already they are revealing their fear to me. They are revealing that since they do not understand my own reasons as to why I charge certain people a certain rate, and others, I do what I do for the love of my work – that since it is that they would not do the same thing, that they will judge someone like me who has no problem doing what she can with what she has been given if it means that just one more person on this planet learns something.

The reason that anyone is afraid to help is, I think, also rooted in the fear that we will be asked to help others, others who we might not want to help at all, and into play comes that ego-self reaction of feeling obligated to help when really, we might not be able to help someone else, not because we do not want to, but because we are not the right type of healer for them. No one likes letting anyone else down, and really, no one is obligated until and unless they obligate themselves to whatever it is that they have named their cause for the moment. My cause for the moment is, as I have already mentioned, to do what I can with what I have been given so freely, to those who need what I can do…yes, sometimes I do this shit for free. Deal with it.

We have been guilted for generations to help others, ALL others, just because we have been told that we have to do this. No, we do not. You would not help a group of people who form groups of people who seek out the weak and vulnerable among us so that those in that group could further their cause, would you? Of course you wouldn’t. However, you would do something for someone like yourself, someone who you could relate to and someone who you could possibly have a pretty good effect on the lives of both you and the person who you have chosen to help, simply because when we help, we are doing what we are all supposed to be doing with what it is that we do anything at all with. We are not here to be ultra cool and groovy, creating these lives filled with love and wonder, and keeping it all to ourselves, at all. We are not here to decide who is and who is not worthy of our help, for the simple fact that when we need to know, need to learn, need to have that instance of what is part of the purpose we are in this lifetime, and our part in our mission with the tribe of souls on this planet in this lifetime, so that we, through that effort and the use of those gifts, will not only be able to help others who we can help, but more, to teach us the reality that is “judge not, lest first ye shall be judged,” and to also know who are the least of us, who are those who deserve to know what is our inner state of giving, and those who we will learn the very most from, even if we never, ever meet them face to face.

This is what is our collective, global mission – we are in place to be of good service to and for one another, but never to be in servitude, which is what a whole LOT of people feel like they are doing when they are asked to do anything for anyone else. This is not the truth, and no you are not obligated to do anything out of your not wanting to feel guilty. You are not supposed to help if you feel obligated, but go and help anyone who the sacrifice, if that is what you must see it as, will be worth the value of the reward in energy that you, yourself, will create for you, for those others in need. Don’t think of it as being something that you just cannot get into, because service to all of humanity is different than being enslaved by the grind caused by the thing that you have been told all of your life is actual charity. Charity is NOT you giving things and money away for free to strangers (okay, so, technically it is BUT…I think you know what I am saying). but you taking the time to care about other human beings who you are trying to make things a little better for.

It does not make you a patsy, or a sucker, and it does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you very strong to know that on some level, even a tiny little one, you have helped to at least make the thought that you helping is somehow going to score you brownie points with your mother’s god and so that he will not strike you down for not doing what you were told by your unenlightened and controlling pastor who may well be getting a kick back from all of the campaigning that you are doing on behalf of the church he is not giving credit to the congregation for having done a stellar job in terms of caring for the global flock. (Yup, I have issues with church and organized religion…like I make it a secret or something)

I suppose that my point today is that you are meant to help others, without guilt and without feeling guilty if you do not or cannot help with certain others – that is not your fault, and you are not here to save the world. You are here to beautify your world with others like you and who live within that world, for no matter how long a time they are there, so that together, you can, with them, become your purpose, serve your mission with them and with others like them, for a common cause, which typically is not ever a bad cause, really. In my case, it is helping those who are just like me…moms with kids, women who have survived the bad moon rising of domestic violence and emotional abuse, parents who want every kid within their reach to have the best chance at a great life, all created by their own dreams and their own hands….and most of all, those who, by the very grace of the Goddess, have the ability to reach out to the world, to teach it how to live in harmony with itself, to learn to live without apology, and to Love without condition, to live within the bounds of our own personal level and energy of integrity, and to be the shining example of keeping hold and never letting go of each of our own born-into-it Kuleana, our personal responsibility, as handed to us by the Goddess, cultivated within us through the desire to see good in the world as it really is…organic…

….but mostly, to never lose sight of the one thing that should be the prize that all of our eyes are upon, at all times…

…the ability to fully Be Love, and by that measure to Be, In Love… Being, In Love, is not the sort that you might think when you see that term. It is nice to be In Love with one other person who you share so very much in common with (Hi Maestro…Muah). Yet, to Be, In Love, means to always live within a presence of Love within the confines of one’s own life, to Be in the Love that is within one’s own self and for one’s own self, and to know that even when things suck, we have the option to Be, In Love, or to be in turmoil from not ever thinking that the most loving thing that we can ever do for ourselves is to do what we do for those whose mission in life is the same as ours…I just said what it is….I’ll say it again…

 

Nike says Just do it…

Spirit says Be, In Love…so just do it – Be, In Love…

Big Mahalos for Reading and Sharing…Aloha Kakou…

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Soul Contract

Hawaiian 100 dollar bill yo

Human beings absolutely NEED an exchange of energies with other human beings.  There is something called an exchange of energies between souls. That there is this exchange is one thing, but that within that exchange is a contract created is completely a different story.

Ho’okupu, in the Hawai’ian language means to honor someone else with an even exchange of Mana, or spiritual energy, for the work that they have done, for the thing that they have brought to someone else that is a thing or a service that the other person needed. It is essentially the word that I want to call “barter,” but it isn’t bartering – it is exchanging goods or services for pay or honors.

It is not until we have chosen, instead, to not honor the agreement that was made between souls, let alone human beings on the tangible level, that the ugliness begins. The ugliness begins when the contract between souls has been violated. The way that it is violated is simply when one soul’s body decides that it has a better idea and that better idea involves that person NOT honoring the contract between souls.

The Contract Between Souls

There are a lot of ways in which I could write this so that it would be much easier for people to not get offended when I say that there are way too many people who we share the air with who are SO cheap, or at least it seems like it, that they will scrutinize every tiny little thing that you bring to their attention in terms of what is, and more, what is not, correct about the reason why it is that they seem to believe that you are at their service when in reality what you are is IN service to all of humanity.

This is not about just money, folks. This more about respect for other people and what they do that makes them thrive. Think about it this way – would you want to walk away from something that you so enjoy doing and also get paid for just because people seem to refuse to want to pay you? And really, I don’t know if it is a refusal to pay, or more of a control thing, but I do know that humans, for the most part, like feeling like they have some sort of measure of control over other people, like making it seem as though we have the one-up on others.

When we choose to not exchange the proper energies, we don’t have anything more than a Karma debt.

Ladies and gentlemen…once again to the stage – KARMIC DEBTS

You see, folks, Karma, as most of you know, is very real. It takes its form in a manner that whoever must make things right will understand even as they might not understand why it is that they are now having trouble trying to get what they have coming to them. The one thing that is most maddening is when the Karma debt that others must pay and the lesson brought to them through us also involves our not getting what we need from them. This is not to say that we will never get what we need, only to say that if we are indeed, and unknown to our thoughts, the teacher of the lesson for the person refusing to trade right energies, we will suffer alongside them, and we won’t know why.

This is when the most of us think it is that we are who are paying this debt, when in reality, we are part of the important line of teachers for someone else. I know this lesson very well. I have been the bringer of lessons for a whole lot of people, and when it comes to that point where they are not getting it in terms of why they are suffering, I am driven to ask them who they have been to that point and why it seems as though they are not paying attention to the theme of their pain.

The Theme of Your Pain

At this time, the pain in my life is connected to tangibles. It is because for the entirety of my life, I have always placed people before things. Then I married the one person who, until recently, I didn’t believe was a very greedy, insecure mess of a human being whose only security came in the form of how much money and toys he had.

My money and toys, for a long time, because that is how HE wanted it, were connected to his ability to gain those things for me, as though I would never be able to gain them for myself. The problem with this was that I was being abused, and because of that, I was totally dependent upon his choices so that I could survive. I won’t lie – it was a nice, materially rich survival, but in that method of survival, my soul was dying.

My soul was dying because it seemed as though I was not going to be what or who I was meant to become. While I know that it is not the case, I still had to go through all what I went through in order to be this me. In order to be this me, I had to exchange these energies with this person for a very long time so that in my own thinking, I would automatically have that thought that even as money is nice, people are nicer. Even as things make me happy, being with the people who I love the very most is the most important thing in the world to me. I needed to be reminded of this, and the only way that Spirit would be able, through Her own Wisdom and Her own measure of communicating particularly with me, was through the giving to me and the taking away from me OF me.

In order for me to be this particular me, and a version of me who I can now tolerate, I HAD TO learn a whole LOT of truths about a whole LOT of things and those lessons had to come through the person and the relationship that I thought, wrongly, that I would be able to depend on the most.

I am ecstatic to say that, even though I went through whatever it was that I went through, I learned who I am by learning who I am NOT. In order to know who this version of me is, I had to peel away the layers of wrong-me so that I could get to this me.

In order to be this me is the same as “in order to be this you”

That anyone else will break a soul contractual agreement is one thing, but that we do not know why it is that we have to suffer with other people is quite a different thing all together.

We do not know what another person’s purpose in our lives is right at the moment that we meet them. We do not know what it is that they are teaching us or what we have to learn from them. We only know that they are in our lives and that whatever purpose they hold for us remains to be seen.

I am not the only person on this planet who has had to go through things. My Maestro has been through a whole LOT of things, and my Mexican soul sister, a woman who I grew up with and whose name is Karla, also been through a whole lot of things, and just like me, these two people had to get through some very ugly crap in order to be who they are right now, and who they are right now is not someone who they thought they might be. While I cannot say who either of these people might have thought they might be is neither here nor there, but, the fact remains that they each have gone through so very much that to think that either of them would be here, alive and well and here to live their purpose is the most miraculous thing of all to me.

It is miraculous NOT because I do not believe that either of the two of them would be able to handle whatever came their way to this point, but because of the strength of their character being so strong that there would be no other way for either of them. This is the trade off they each made with Spirit, the deal that they each made that told not only The Mother Goddess who they knew they were meant to be, but that they were not willing and neither ready to throw in the towel and let the people who let them down in their own lives win again.

They didn’t win, in case you didn’t know

I could sit here and tell people what normally I will tell them, and that is that while it appears that other people in our lives who bring to our lives all of the turmoil have not won, it is a hard sell when I am telling people one thing and their lives are telling them what they, the people, have heard for the majority time of their lives – things change for the better if we are willing to see to it.

Yes…you have to be willing to see to your own lives, and you have to be willing to believe that you have value and are worthy to live that best life. You have to be able to grit your teeth, get through the last of the crap from the last crap you went through and all of the crap that came before it. You have to use your strength and your will and you have to cry, laugh, get good and fucking angry, and most of all, you have GOT TO try.

If you do not try to at least be the best version of you that you can create, that is when all those people who talked all that shit to you for all that time will win. If you do not at least keep up with the contract that you have with your own soul to live your life to the fullest in every part of it, everyone else will win. If you do not try hard to just not allow what other people think of you just not matter anymore (and we ALL have this problem, myself especially included), they will win. If you bother with being bothered, most assuredly, they will win.

They will win because you will have allowed theirs to be the governing voice in your head instead of the voice that tells you that you are worthy to Love you. They will win because you will lower your own self to accept what they think about you as your truth. They will win because you will, once again, have allowed them to bully you into thinking that you need to be what is their model of you rather than who you are for real.

They will win because even though you do not believe one word of what they are saying, have said, might say, you give a shit of what their opinion of you is overall, and overall, the only opinion that ought to matter to you, at least at first, is your own. This is not to say that you should not be bothered by what people think of you, because it is human to want to be Loved and accepted by people, period. But, when it comes to who you are, for real, and people do not like who you are, which is different than what you look like (you’d be amazed at h ow many adults don’t realize that they think what they look like is who they are…yeesh!) it makes you wonder what it is that you can do to make them Love you.

Nothing – you can DO nothing to make ANYONE Love you as you are

Unfortunately, human beings do not come with a guarantee that says that we are going to be Loved by everyone justbecause we are this version of who we are. The contract between souls will not allow for it. If we are Loved by everyone, we will not know what is darkness against the Light. We need to know what is our own darkness so that we can also know our own light, and in that knowing we have to also be able to see in others that which is also within us. That’s right – we have to know what is darkness, not to avoid it, but to be able to use  it.

Using our darkness to also highlight the light that is within us is one of our tools for learning. Without being able to recognize what is the part of us that can be intolerable, can be offensive, can be that person who just sort of climbs into their shell of the soul for protection from the ugliness that is or can be life, we do not know ourselves fully and therefore cannot accept who we are because we will not know who we are. Without being able to know what we are not, we cannot know what or who we are, and if we do not know that much, how the hell can we honor the contract of the Soul which we have made not only with others, particularly our Soul tribes, and more particularly, our very selves?

You see, other people are not the only ones who we have a soul contract with. We also have this same contractual agreement with ourselves. It isn’t only my Soul Tribe who I have contracts of the soul with, isn’t only the Maestro, isn’t only Karla, my kids, my blood relations…I also have to honor this contract with me.

Honoring the contract with you

We let ourselves down the most, and we do this when we are not willing to live up to who we are rather than what is stressing us out in the tangible world. This is not my telling you that the work that you do in the tangible sense does not have to get done or is somehow unworthy of the time and Love you spend on it. I totally get it.  We all know that is not the truth.

What I am saying is that any time we take on work, and any time we are in an exchange of energies with other people, our contract with ourselves is that we do our highest best, no matter what we are doing. When we do things at a lower energetic level in the soul, and we do things because we want other people to know what it feels like if we purposely and out of spite or revenge don’t do them, whose soul are we actually dishonoring? Theirs…or ours?

Our own, of course, and we are told this much when we leave a place and we know we left not having done our highest best good, or at least have given our highest best effort, and that little voice within tells us that we could have done better. This is not me saying to get taken advantage of, because you are, for the most part, smarter than that, and honoring the soul contract with one’s own self is not one that says that you have to do things to impress other people or to even make them like you, and certainly you do not, under any circumstance, do things honorable for dishonorable people .You know to do things that make your soul feel like it has done the best that it could with the body that it lives in, doing the tangible things that it does with the soul’s purpose in mind.

That is how things need to be – everything done with the Soul’s purpose in our minds, no matter what it is we are doing…even our tangible work in the world. 

I Love You All

ROX

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The Ego’s Unforgiving Ridiculousness

I’m not about to tell anyone that we do not need our Egos, because we do. LOADS of people haven’t a clue about what the Ego truly is, even though every single one of us has employed its ridiculousness on more than only one occasion. However, not so coincidentally, it is because of our egos that we are able to hang on to things that really, we need to forgive other people for so that we can move forward.

At this time, there is a plethora of human beings on this planet for whom the engagement of the Ego when thinking in terms of not just going into some sort of …heated exchange…with another human being, over anything at all, seems to be the habit, the …addiction… to the hormonal imbalance which is caused by our being able to go toe to toe in an emotional exchange more often than is needed.

Yes – hormonal.

If you think and believe for a moment that the things that are the constant thought in your head…and no, I am not talking about you being you…I am talking about you being you, then someone comes along and interrupts you being you, at a constant, which releases hormones and the like, into your physical body, at a constant, again…do not forget that…and you are not balanced at all times with a good teeter-totter of both negative and the corresponding positive thoughts, which produce the same within each of us, you will…WILL end up out of sorts.

This is called your body telling you that it is already overly filled with the bullshit that other people bring to you. This is called your body needing you to take notice that something is not right, and normally, no matter what, even if it is a hereditary thing you have goin’ on, all of that ego-negative-bullshit going on WILL take its toll. You are not required to believed a single thing that you read here, and you are absolutely allowed to ignore this, and if you do, I will not know, and that, too, is okay…

until…

Understand that, right at this moment, there is a lot of growin’ goin’ on and that, too, not a whole lot of people who are in the middle of the most horrifically painful spiritual growth spurt are aware that what is going on is their Souls are stretching, are growing so as to accommodate who they are for real. Too many people want to hang on to the things that are acceptable on the surface, things and ways of being which are not going to serve them any longer, and things that, for the very life of me, I do not understand why anyone would want to hold onto that crap!

LOTS AND LOTS of people…perhaps more than even I realize, are caught right there, in that crux between letting things go and moving on, and hanging onto things that they like believing keeps them safe, but safe from what? Growth? That’s not safe to hang onto things that hurt us without a purpose for hurting us. In fact, that isn’t even smart because when we hang on, it is like we somehow cannot rid ourselves of the pain because we are somehow addicted to the drama which we bring about from it, should we hang on to it for longer than is needed (YES- NEEDED).

Hiding from things that we know are meant to make us stronger than we have ever known ourselves to be, in ways that we cannot imagine only serves to weaken us. When we are able to face what it is that we fear (believe it or not, the one thing that MANY MANY humans fear is being loved for real, because they cannot see themselves as worthy of it…what-EVER…) we are then and at that point telling ourselves that we are tired of the things that hurt us and that if we should so choose to look at those things in a manner that is from a neutral place, a place that is not ourselves in physical form but ourselves in a soul sense, we will begin to understand a whole lot more than we thought we did.

We will understand that there is a thing called forgiving ourselves for not being able to let go of the things that have been breaking our hearts, over and over again, on purpose, even, and we will be able to see, too, that we are not bad, that we are worthy of our own Love, for ourselves, because too many of us give away the Love within us, thinking that the more that we give, the more we will get back. Yet, it won’t happen that way if we do not recognize what it is for real. More, it also won’t happen if we do not Love ourselves for real.

Just because someone else hurts your feelings by whatever means they will hurt them, and even if they are being vindictive about it and perhaps even meant to do it, this does not mean that we need to retaliate in the manner that they would expect. It means that right at that moment, we have the option to choose, not only what our response will be,  if we will even bother with one – because sometimes, no words, no response is the greatest, most healing thing we can hope for.

Now, I am not suggesting here, with this next thing, that it is okay to lie to anyone, not even if it is meant to save someone else for their own good, but, even what seems to be the most unforgivable thing is also warranted by and needs that energy, because without it, it stays right there, in the manner that it is, right this moment, which, really, if you stepped outside of your own way, you might be able to see what is there for real.

You might be able to know that, without it being said or even implied, that somehow, even though a lie isn’t cool, sometimes, it is the very thing which will instill in us that thing called a wake up call, and that wake up call is not about anyone else BUT ourselves. Yet, most of the time, most folks and their egos are way too arrogant to see it that way because they are still living in that hurt placed on them so long ago…in that hurt that might not have been placed there on purpose or for malicious reasons. It doesn’t make it right – it makes humans, human.

And for the record – nope, I am not writing about anyone or anything in particular, but rather and only a culminated thought about why it is that we humans tend to need what we need, and when it shows up in a manner that we don’t understand, or comes from a place where we least expect it – whether it is a lie, or perhaps some other thing that no one seems to understand – not only are we hurt, but it is doubly so. When finally it happens, we are at a loss but at a loss because we were not prepared well enough or on our own and through our own abilities to handle what it is, which is not what a lot of ego-driven people want to believe it is. At all.

We are, all of us, at least once in our lives, ego-driven

The Ego gets a very bad rap. It is like this because a long time ago a whole bunch of people decided that they would tell the world what the ego is. We have all been raised by a society which tells us that what we have tells the world who we are, but that is not the case these days. What we have, literally, is only our very selves. Sure, we all have other people in our lives, but, when it is our time to return to Spirit, we are by ourselves, and we are the ones who have left a lot behind, and sometimes what we leave behind is the residue of the hurt that we suffered throughout our lives, which is the hurt that we could not let go of even and up to that point.

It is the Ego which tells us that we should or should not protect certain aspects of who we are.

When the time comes that we are hurt, even egregiously so, it is our ego self that comes to the forefront. It is our ego self that either can hang with the hurt and can help us get out of the way of more harm and how to do that. Just as much as it is our ego self who, when it has been challenged, will puff its chest out, get mouthy and daring, saying things and doing things that will only serve to cause havoc and more damage. The bitch of it all is that it is not only damage to others, but most of all, that damage is something that we, ourselves, cannot and will not ever escape.

When first we practice to put a hurt on someone, namely when we are aware of ourselves doing it, it is at that moment that, too, we are also putting it on ourselves, that same hurt that we wanted someone, anyone else, namely and especially someone who we say that we love. This does not mean that we do not love them when we get angry with them, but when we get angry with them and choose to not forgive them is when the reality should hit home that if we want others to forgive us, then we have to practice it ourselves, both with others, as well as our very selves.

It is the same that thing I teach other people, this art of forgiving those who have wronged us. And believe me when I tell you that indeed, it is a true art form because the fact of the matter is that, as a whole, humanity does not like its truth, even a fabricated truth, fucked with.

We do not like our beliefs, do not like the things that we like, do not like our sheltered little lives fucked with, at all, and when it is that someone has come along, regardless of what their intentions were at the time of the failure and gives us a lesson in love that we are not ready to deal with, it shows.

This means that when we are told that something will happen on a given date, or that what we want to happen can happen, or really, anything at all in the manner that tells us that somehow, we are about to score huge, at the same time that we are made happy, we also need to be very keenly aware, as well, of the reason as to why we are happy.

We know that if we are happy because we thought we were lied to about a whole lot of things, only to find out that not the thing, but the timing of the thing, was not what we thought it would be, and we go on to say that we believe that the thing is GOING TO happen on this date, and it doesn’t happen…whether or not we can handle it in the manner that is telling us that we can deal with it, or whether we are telling the story of how we, alone, were wronged without also looking at the other things that maybe someone else was looking at, even as it is the same thing, we have some serious self-checkin’ that has to happen because without that self-checkin’ the thing that happens afterwards and until we do so is called self-wreckin’.

Self-Wreckin’

Self-Wreckin’ is that thing that all of us does, guaranteed. We are humans, and my experience with humans on the whole is that, while it is that we are way, way cool biological as well as ethereal specimens, given that we are born with the ability to reason, means that we also have the ability to be highly unreasonable. This is not to say that none of us who is evolved enough to know better won’t, for a few minutes now and again, find ourselves somewhat a bit devolved. It means that we are human and capable of being our greatest shot at being undone.

The only way that other people wreck us is if we allow it, and even then, when it is that we have one thing, one goal, one place that we see with our mind’s eyes that we cannot let go of because to us, that is the perfection of our own making, and that is the thing that we need to look at, in its face and not be afraid to let it go.

You see, I have lots of clients who do not understand this, lots of students who want to think past the teacher, which is fine, because I did that too, recently even, and yes, I had to face a hurtful truth that pissed me off and while it did not make me feel foolish, it indeed DID make me know that sometimes, when the lesson is taught and we have learned, the only thing left to do is vent out the feelings to a trusted person, and then finally just let it all go, including the person who caused the ache.

Our Ego-Self is the part of us that tells us that we have to protect who we are, but the problem with that is that sometimes, we go into parent mode and we want to save our own selves from the shock and the hurt that might end up becoming more than we can handle, that is, if we are not brave enough to face our own selves.

We can become brave, though, and we can face what we think we cannot, no matter what, or who, it might be. The only thing that we have to do is listen to the pining of our souls. If we listen to our souls, and we go headlong into the fracas brought by others, and in that messiness can find our place in it, we will also find there the freedom that we so crave, not just from the assholes who visit our lives so that we may learn the lessons that they bring to us, but more, from our very selves.

I Love You All !

ROX

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Visit my website , read my teaching blog, come and hang out with me at bandbacktogether.com…yup…I’ve written a few books, teach hula as both Medicine and as some of the funniest luau entertainment that a group of employees has ever had the opportunity to take pics of the higher ups learning hula from me…yup…at company parties…of course, I also marry peoplecoach individuals and groups…I do LOTS of stuff…because I’m just Rox, and that’s how I roll…follow me on Twitter…but above all…smile and laugh a lot – folks will either think you are talkin’ smack about ’em…or you’re crazy ! Either way, it’s just you being you !! Aloha! I Love You All! ROX


Intolerably, Indignantly Righteous

Learning that we are right is one thing. Being a righteous ass hat about it is completely another thing all together.

I learned a few very important lessons this week from more than only one person. In fact, now that I am not an emotionally driven freak about many things, and now that I have had my opportunity to stop myself from getting overly righteously passionate about certain areas of my own life, I have learned that there are times when we are expected to become indignantly righteous about things, and also and more importantly, times when it is upon us each to shut the fuck up and simply just listen.

Just shut the fuck up and LISTEN

Sometimes, we need to shut our mouths, and sometimes, we need, without getting too much in our own way, to stay out of peoples’ business when they are busy trying to make us know something that may well be one of the very most important things that we will ever learn, even and especially when we think we are the bastion of being absolutely and unfailingly right. Sometimes we need to just stay quiet, and sometimes we really just need to listen because in that act of simply listening, we will….WILL…end up learning at least that, more than much else, not only are we not always right, but also, we might be traversing the planet unaware of a few truths that, really, if we would just STOP being so righteously indignant about how right we are and realize that while we are right, that there may not be a wrong, and in fact may well be two ‘rights.’

This new calendar year brought with it the ending of things. Even as it is a new start to a lot of things, and while it might well be that a lot of us who are not that …evolved… might have just followed suit in that they would start their resolutions right away, for the most part, the beginning, unlike the blog about the end being the start of the beginning and how it tells us, basically, that the circle of Karma that we started so as to become a stand alone type human, the end for some people is not the same thing as it will be for those who are in the light of Spirit and squarely in the middle of our own evolution of soul and self.

By this I mean that, no matter what, we are watching our balance become what it is that we have intended for it to become, and in that watchfulness, we have forgotten that while it is great and awesome for us to know this, we have to learn to not only balance it all out, but more, we have to also learn to walk in our proverbial new shoes.

New Shoes

If you have never seen someone who has never worn a pair of high heeled shoes finally wear a pair of them, then you do not know that it takes time and practice to learn to wear them, let alone walk in them. This is the same thing that is happening now in our lives – we are all being expected to wear these new things about ourselves, these new lessons learned, the things that we learned throughout the last year, and most of all, how it was that we fared through it all.

We fared through it all as best we could. We did what we thought we were meant to do, and we tried hard to not lose ourselves in the process, and not realizing we had done so, we lost ourselves anyway, because that is what we were meant to do, supposed to do, and not one of us liked it. Not one of us likes what it is that we are in the middle of right this moment. Not one of us can comprehend much more than what it is that we, ourselves and on our own, have actually been through.

While it applies to plenty of people, there are a very few of us for whom all of this madness which ensued and which we each and all still are trying hard to take stock of the chaos who have not been able to keep our heads squarely on our shoulders. However, there are those of us who, for whatever purpose they have, who are choosing to hang on, NOT to the lesson that was born of all of this, but more, unfortunately, the righteous indignation we have suffered and which was brought about through our own hands, our own thoughts, and the one thing that those people who are thinking in this manner are NOT thinking about is that this is NOT the time to stand there, in all of that righteous indignation, hanging onto whatever it is that you, yourself, cannot change.

You only have the power, no matter what the hell you think, to deal with you. I could have remained angry about something that I came to accept not but a week ago, in fact, a week ago today, about someone who I thought might have had my best interest at heart, only to come upon the truth of what I have always known – that there are people within my own circle of souls who have not been, who will not ever be, someone who is not so righteously, albeit quietly and even covertly, arrogant that they would do what they thought they might be able to in order, not that I would lose my gifts, but that they would – my gifts – be seen as “less than” what they are, by anyone at all.

When it is that we are upon such a truth as that, the sort that is not only thought provoking but, as well, quite life changing in terms of who we know is “for” us and who is not, while it might have been that, at one point in time, we would have become ass hurt over something like it, at this time in our lives, we are, if we are more evolved and have chosen to go through what we have in order to learn, not bothered by it as much as we might have been in the past. And this is only an example of what it is that has been given to us as a gift of the Mother Goddess.

Do not mistake righteous indignation with our knowing, righteously, where it is that we need to become Stand Alone in our power, in our energy…

The biggest thing that I have noticed is that there are people who are righteously indignant about things with only their air of arrogance in play, and then there are those of us who, while all of the madness was happening in our lives and we were not-so happily plodding through it, knew then, when the madness began, what it is that we know now, are staring straight and squarely in the eyes of it, and are more inclined now than ever we have been to do something about it all.

Where it is that we are so very overwhelmed is where it is that we have to look at the reason why. It doesn’t mean that we are somehow more flawed, but instead means that there are parts of ourselves, as our outer and tangible lives will tell us, that we either need to put away, or, give away, or more importantly, through that act of giving away, let go. There are also things that are telling us that we are lacking in certain areas, but that the lack is not really a lacking of anything but rather and only a place where it is our kuleana, our responsibility, to create what must be placed there.

While most of us knows this, there are still many who are living in the arrogance, inside of the energy which is protection through ignorance, or perhaps protection through becoming defensive when in reality there is not a need to defend what we are not understanding, but rather and only a need for us to have at least some clarity about what it is that we believe is the major malfunction of our lives.

Too many people want to blame others on what it is that we, ourselves, have to see to. It is not someone else’s fault if you, yourself, have chosen to stay locked in the pattern that you find yourself stuck in. In fact, most folks who have a clue are more inclined to tell those closest to them that yes, they have things that they want to see to, things that they know they have to do, including this Kahu, that, unless and until it is done, there is no more of anything coming to us but more chaos, more confusion, more of the bullshit that not one of us can claim truthfully that we like.

Of course, getting through all of the chaos also depends on how much time we have everyday.

In a lot of peoples’ lives, the one thing that we each have very little of, because we are the masters of our own existence, is time. It is a funny thing to me to think that we believe we can just simply create time to get it all done. Once it is that the very lot of us decides, like a very few minimum of us has chosen, to look first at ourselves and where it is that we are not completely okay with what we are looking at, and once it is that we claim that we are the owners of that chaos – only then will the clarity and the cognition that we need in order to see to it all, for once and for all, begin to come to us.

It is my own opinion that it is not time that we need, but clarity. It is not time that is going to make this all happen, but our own clarity of thought about where, tangibly and intangibly, all of our stuff should go. Someone very close to me knows what this is all about, to have nothing but complete say so over what is their life, and to have it together in their head, and to see it all in the visions that come to them, and to think that they do not know where they will have time to do this. It is not that easy just shitting another hour out of an already very busy life, let alone day. They are not the only person with this issue.  We will each find that in those closest to us are the very proverbial keys to the kingdom of clarity, and if we are good enough and strong enough, not only to them, but to ourselves, they will gladly school us on some things that we do not realize are not apparent to us, if only and simply for the fact that really, we have no clue what is the truth and reality of anyone else unless and until they allow us that much energy.

Yet, even in this day and age of weirdness and things not of this world are more accepted than they have been in a long while, too many people do not believe that what we want, no matter what it is that we want, is already ours and in manifest. Too many people want to be righteously angry with people in their lives and some want to hang on to that old energy that is not releasing themselves, all on their own, by being kind to themselves, want to blame someone else for the madness that is apparent. For the very life of them each they cannot figure out why it is that things seem to be looking up for a majority of people close to them, and that they are somehow stuck in whatever pot of shit stew they are in.  This is not saying that everyone who is currently in a pot of shit stew is there because they are not willing to look at the mess. This is saying that there are people who just, even as they know it is the best thing for them, cannot let go.

The Righteously Indignant Nature of Arrogance

For most of our lives we have been taught that we have to fight things that we don’t like. Lots of the time those things that we don’t like are not even part of our awareness on a daily basis. We humans are silly and are so because we know better than the way that we sometimes behave. I know someone who is, for all the right reasons, very upset right now. In fact, the whole scenario between this person, another one very close to me, and another person, brought out of them each the one thing that only one of them, at least to my knowledge, has really learned anything about, and that one thing is called forgiveness.

I am not talking about forgiving someone else, but one’s very self. 

Indeed, there comes a time in all of our lives that we can no longer bear the weight of our own indignation, of the very stagnant energy that is the same ol’ thing happening, again and again, in our lives, and we either get tired of it continuing to happen, or finally, one day, we stand up, realize that we are stand alone, and in that energy, we release those who hurt us the most, which in turn releases us as well.

You don’t have to believe what you have just read. You can continue to hang on to that energy that is being righteously angry with others, or, you can come to terms with the part that you have played in the mess that has been created of your own life and you can take the chance to make things happen for you, rather than to you.

It’s like Dorothy never realizing until she woke up that she had the power to change the status of her wanting to go home. All she had to do was realize it.

I Love You All …

ROX

Visit my website , read my teaching blog, come and hang out with me at bandbacktogether.com…yup…I’ve written a few books, teach hula as both Medicine and as some of the funniest luau entertainment that a group of employees has ever had the opportunity to take pics of the higher ups learning hula from me…yup…at company parties…of course, I also marry people…I do LOTS of stuff…because I’m just Rox, and that’s how I roll…follow me on Twitter…but above all…smile and laugh a lot – folks will either think you are talkin’ smack about ’em…or you’re crazy ! Either way, it’s just you being you !! Aloha!

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Ho’ohana – The Value of Intentional Effort

Rarely is it the thing that is appreciated as much as the thought behind the gifts that we give anyone at all which matters the most. 

There are times when my favorite question to ask is “What were you thinking?” and normally, it is never a bad thing. We love to give gifts, but we do not know that the reason we love to do so is because the reciprocal energy that is the Aloha contained within the intention.

I say it all the time, that it is our intention that matters the most in terms of things that we want for ourselves, and things that we want for others in our lives with whom we share a very real closeness of Spirit and Heart.

“Ho’ohana” – To Work

Giving, as far as human beings are concerned, is second nature. It is not until we are taught otherwise, taught that we have to have more than others, be better than others, become the best and thereby best each other, that we sort of lose this inborn ability toward giving to others what we want them to have from us, and more, what it is that they need in the soul-sense.

Tangible things are cool. We all love them, all want them, but in the truth of things, even though we love having all of our cool things, we are more inclined to feel a lot more like the Royal Family of Cool when we give. It is not in the tangible thing, once again, that our energy is stored in. It is in what we get back from these people that is intangible that we wait for, that we want and that we know, at least for the most part, we will get….a smile.

Effort is never without value

No matter what it is that we are doing, if it is worth the effort to even think about it, it is valuable (of course, unless it is to hurt someone else for whatever reason you think you have…doing that just makes you an extra giant douche bag, seriously). When we think about what we are having for dinner every night, we do so with the intention that is making our kids and families happy, not only with what has been prepared, but more, because we cared enough about it all to think about what they might like to have. When we think about creating a beautiful gift for someone else, it is not only the gift that is beautiful, but more, the thought behind the gift, because in that thought, we were prompted to think about the person who it is being created for, and in that effort, there is value.

When we tell a friend we will pick their kid up from school, just because we will be on that side of town, it is a beautiful effort, and when we gift others with tangible means – and means of anything at all – the thought alone is the beauty in it all.

Ho’ohana means “to work,” and in this instance, it is in the effort that is the work of Love that is the gift and not only the tangible gift itself.  This is why, sometimes, people are inclined to buy others some of the most ridiculous things – because in that effort of thought, you were loving those people. In that energy, you were not only dealing with how you feel about that person, but more, you were also thinking about how they also feel about you, in the soul sense, and in kind, always, the Universe gives to us each, the giver, the receiver, and everyone in between, the gift that is the energy of Aloha between souls.

It is the soul which sees and feels the effort, that makes the outer person experience through physical means the things that make them happy through and about other people.

And yes, this is really why ALL of us LOVES to help other people…okay, maybe if you are a selfish SOB, and maybe if you are one of those people who cannot see past the tip of your own damned nose …. then maybe you don’t give for any other reason than that you believe people will worship you, and in reality, they are worshiping the thing that you gave them. (Dumb ass)

The Effort Taken Toward Intangible Giving

There are a few people on this planet who personally know that if there is something that is really important to them that they need to happen for them, and that if I am able, in any manner, to help them make that happen, I will do for them what I am able to. This is not something that I have never done, but lately, it has become something that I know who I can do things for and trust, not that I will get back what I have given, but more, that I will know that they appreciate what it is that I am doing for them. Throughout the years, and because of the hellish time I had within a marriage that never worked, I learned, from that guy, a very important lesson, and one that I was well aware of for many years – that one thing is that not everyone can be bought.

Read that again, and realize, right now, that there are still a whole lot of us human type beings who believe that everything has a price, that everything is tangibly traded, that everyone will crack when a gift or monetary promise is involved. This is wrong. It is not our right, neither our duty, nor our place, to think so little of others that those others would not somehow clue into the idea that someone else is trying to manipulate them, that in those manipulations that cause some folks to think that money or items replace the reality of the energy behind it all, that the entirety of human beings on the planet somehow all have this one sin that we all fall short of the glory of ourselves with.

It ain’t the truth. The effort in this instance is not the right sort, is saddled with the energy of someone having to have absolute control over people, all through means and manipulations using tangible things. Anyone in their right, positive mind would never do this, because anyone in their right and positive mind would be mindful of how anyone else feels about anything else, namely if that “anything else” is the total energy of others believing that they can buy the loyalties of others, that they can, through their egotistical efforts, buy this sort of energy.

Too all the morons who think this way still

First, I must apologize to two of my teachers, because at this moment, and as she is reading this, or actually the moron thing, she is tsk tsking me…but, at least I know she loves me, and at least she knows that this sort of thing is something that I have gotta do or else my head will implode…

If you are one of these people who thinks that you and your tangible means can buy good people through the fake energy of “giving something” I must let you all know right now that the reason that it seems like no one is loyal to you, that no one wants to be around you, that you are alone in this lifetime without friends, without a true beloved,without your tribe of the Soul, is because when we try to “buy” peoples’ loyalty, we are not giving them the credit for being good enough to just be given something and more, you, yourself, through your manipulative effort, are not being loyal to them.

That’s right – I said it, I’ll keep on saying it, and hell yeah deal with it – you are disloyal, even to yourself, because what you do, think of, give to, whatever, “for” others, ultimately you are also doing to yourself. There is nothing quite as endearing as the truth of who we are, given through the efforts of what we do not have, and that we try to make happen for others, because of how pure our intentions are. Not enough gets said in terms of what the morons of the world and in the energy that is giving and neither about the reality of the karma that they will have returned to them. (It’s called a Karmic return – where the thing that you were meant to learn comes back to you..you know…RETURNS to you…to make you learn from that lesson…duh)

When we first think we are getting away with something, regardless if the other people who we think we are buying loyalty from catch on, this is when the Karma that will return to us is created. My question for the moron tribe is this – have you not paid any attention to the things that you are not aware of how they have happened in your life, and how they are connected to the things that you think are good things, but your intentions behind those things are less than honorable? It is in the less than honorable things that you are thinking, that you are intending to do, that you are exacting into the lives of other people that make this such a really not that great idea.

No, I’m not harpin’ on ya because I really think you are a moron, because some of the most intellectually superior people on the planet still have this one thing – this power over other people through tangible means thing – still to be healed, and yeah, I can promise you that it will not hurt to correct this now, but what will hurt is not if but WHEN the karma comes to you, and is to be made right, and you might not have the same means you do now. Hence, the reason that I tell anyone at all that it is nice to have a lot of means, a lot of ability to afford everything your heart desires, but it is quite another thing to believe that you can have the loyalties of people who you are not willing to show your true self to do that through. Buying people, or at least thinking you can, only makes them mad. I know this, because the baby daddy did this for years, and then one day, he no longer had the means and neither the ability to buy the loyalties of other people.  He is living his karmic return. Unfortunately, he still believes that the only thing that keeps a person loyal is the means by which other people can be bought. He still believes that it is the tangible means he used to have and was able to create that made us all vacate his life, rather than the FACT that when HE no longer had the means and neither the ability, that it was not he who was so repulsive, but that it was everyone else. I will state, now, for the record, in writing even, that when the man lost everything, got sick and HAD TO depend on us – he failed miserably in terms of recognizing that it was never his money, but him, who anyone wanted to be better.

To this day, he still believes that people are only interested in others if said people have the choice to try to buy loyalty. The one thing that I have never forgotten, which I learned, in and of all places – church as a youngster – is that the truth will always be revealed, and namely when it is a truth of ourselves that we don’t want to see, acknowledge or accept – it is what is meant by the saying that “the truth hurts.”

Fortunately for me, I have never really bought into the idea that we can have people be loyal to us with and through tangible means. It just won’t happen, because it will never be the real thing.

It is in our efforts of what we don’t think we can do, but that we so totally want to do, for other people, that causes the Mother Goddess to bless us with the means, at the right time and when we need it, to go out into this world and do what we were born to do, which is to ho’ohana for others through our energies, so that they may know the truth of what is Love, what is loyalty, what is family.

This holiday season, remember these things, because it is not what you can do, but what you put forth in valuable effort, for others, without feeling to have to have it given back, that makes the forever-gift of Aloha the one thing that, at this time of year, is needed more than our ability to outdo anyone else in terms of who brought the biggest, most expensive gifts, and more, who can no longer be bought with those gifts…

Think about the last time you felt like someone was trying to manipulate you with things, only to find out later that they no longer have those things to entice people falsely with.

How did that make you feel, and more, what did it tell you about the moron who tried to do it again?

Think about it…

I Love You All !

ROX

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Have a very good Holiday

Aloha!

ROX


Pack Mentality

Humans beings. We like thinking we are more refined than any other species, but we are not. In fact, we are more like the animals than we want to believe, and more than that, sometimes, we can act like rabid pack animals.

Humans …we allow ourselves to love, to be loved, and lots of the time, it works out.  Other times, we love, and the thing or the people who we love are not as loved as we love them, or perhaps not at all. And lots of us have a problem with this in the manner that is “you either are with us, or you are against us.” This creates within a person an energy that is of panic, and it is such, in the person who has not raised their own level of vibration to the point where they are able to ignore such things (read: demands), that it creates the thought, as well, that if we do not choose to run with the pack, we will be…not might be, not could be but will be…left behind, all alone by ourselves, with no one.

My thought about that is to just let them go….just let them all go.

You are not required, by any means other than what is your own soul’s energy about certain things and ways of being, to follow the crowd, namely if what the crowd is thinking runs against the tide of what is the truth within you.

The Truth Within You

We all have our own moral truths. These are the truths by which we live our daily lives. Sometimes, those truths are not the same as the truth of the many and the many will judge the one whose truth does not match theirs as being the lie. While it might be the energetic opposite of what the pack finds as being its collective truth, it does not mean that it also is required to be your truth. In simpler terms, say you go to lunch with your friends. All of you are thirsty. You all know what you want, you all order what you want. The server comes back with the same drinks, meaning that you did not get what you expected. You do not like what is in front of you. Immediately, you make the server aware of it. The server corrects the mistake. Life goes on.

Yet, lunch with friends is not the best example, even as it is the easiest. When we are talking about the human toll in terms of pack mentality, I am not talking about the toll of human life only. I am talking about the toll of human emotional life and human emotional life is something that too many people do not understand. It is easy to get ourselves involved in a sexy little drama, and easy for us all to draw conclusions based on the opinion of the whole, regardless of the truth …the emotional truth…of the individual.

The Emotional Truth of the Individual

Alrighty…let’s think about this, shall we? Think about the last time that there was something on the news, something that was very, very emotionally charged, where lots of people felt compelled to wrap themselves around a certain individual, love them, support them, only to, a little while later, find out that there were things about that person, or perhaps about an entire situation, that did not match what any one person’s ideal of anyone else, particularly the certain individuals in any given situation, was.

Now imagine that this energy, the emotional truth of the whole, based on the individual truths of each individual in the whole, is compounded by the hurt within each individual being made bigger through the pseudo-support of rallying against the certain individual, because the individuals in the group that is the whole have been fooled, or perhaps parts of the story had been hidden, and in that secrecy there were the things that the certain individuals did not want anyone knowing, but  more than that, things that the whole of individuals might not have wanted to see, let alone be surprised by.

What happens next, typically, is that the hurt individuals within the whole begin to compare their own emotions, their own feelings, through the stories that they have been conjuring…the “what if” and the “Maybe this is how” and really, this is how it all begins, good or bad, needed or not – when the time arises and we are in need of confirmations of how we are feeling about anything at all, and there is an entire population of people who are, all at one time, rallying support and love behind others within their tribe of community, we seek out the nurture of the Tribe.

Unfortunately, sometimes, the Tribe forgets that it is a tribe for a reason, for a common good, for the wholeness that is the family, and ultimately the tribe becomes a pack of rabid animals waiting and watching for the weaknesses in others, waiting to attack anyone whose opinion does not meet or match their own.  Waiting, and watching, as well, for those who will, not just protect the innocent, but more, who choose to not deem what the whole deems as right, as Truth.

Once again…that which is our own truth does not mean it is THE truth…it only means that it is ours

Our opinion of anything at all – in some cases, that is our truth, because it is the truth that we have an opinion, a preference, anything at all, about anything at all- is just that…our opinion. We are allowed by our very human spirit to form and to have an opinion, but not always will that opinion need to be heard or voiced by us. Our opinion is not going to be the same as everyone else’s, and may well run in the opposite direction of the whole’s.  Because we do or do not agree with someone else’s opinion does not make us bad or stupid. It is when we are willing to enforce (yes- ENFORCE and not FORCE) that opinion onto others via the matching opinion of others within the whole that things begin to take on the color of the Pack of Energy Vampires (I can’t call them wolves, because wolves are Sacred animals and wolves are also, in MANY Native American tribal traditions, the symbol for the Pisces…need I say more?).

The Enforcement of the Injected Opinion as Truth

It is not that difficult to lead people to think that one person’s truth, if it is dressed up with the right bunch of words and energies, is the truth of the Pack. It isn’t. Think back to the days of high school, where it was that only opinions mattered. It mattered to us all what others thought, and lots of the time, what others thought compelled us to behave in one manner or another. We either did well enough on our own because we were held as the one person whose opinion matched what might have been the actual truth, or, we were one of the many who, through the matching of that truth to our own, and given that we were not strong enough to vocalize that one truth, we were, at that point, suddenly part of a pack.

Now, think back, too, to that one giant rumor that spread throughout the school, and how, once it was that the truth was found out, that the majority of people who were off and running their mouths with a truth that might have sorta matched their own was no where near the actual truth in regards to what happened in actuality. At that time in your life you probably were glad that you were not the one who had started running your mouth, even though you might have been someone who’d agreed with what was being said. Now think about the people who these things were being said about…

…and now think about the things that were not true about the things that were being said about those people, and think, too, about how much of what was being said was not the truth, but merely the opinion of one person, or perhaps one group of people, and how much of the truth was skewed into the mix of the things that could have been the truth.

Think about the energy that surrounds such things, and think about how much each and every one of us likes being part of anything at all, and more, how much any one of us likes being part of what can be thought as being the “winners’ in a disgustingly nasty, men-involved, almost cat-fight over things that become emotionally heated over an opinion that one person or a mere handful of people voiced and others’ whose opinions were sort of like theirs.

It is not hard to adopt a Pack Mentality

We humans do not like being alone in any manner. I don’t care how many think they like to be exclusively alone, because for the most part, there are not a lot of us on the planet who like being by ourselves all the time,  and this includes in our manner of thoughts and of course, we love it when we are not alone in the opinions that we have about anything at all.

And really, we all love gossip. We love to hear it, and others, to create it, and still many, many more love to spread it, and the original message, the actual story, the things contained within the stories are the very things that get lost in the haze of the he-said-she-said garbage. All the while, lives hang in the balance, and as well, people forget that the more they run their gums, and the less they think about the actual human emotional toll, the more the pack mentality grabs our attention. And, unfortunately, sometimes even us!

It is hard to not let one’s self get wrapped up in the sensationalism, in the taking sides of things, of things that we wonder about, things that we are thinking about anything that is big and ugly and makes us feel like we have to take sides about .

Go ahead…take sides…the one called “your own”

I will not lie – there was a time, many years ago, that I would take sides. Then one day, when it was that both sides seemed to be against me, so to speak, I learned what it was to be the one person whose truth did not match the people or the groups which were having a difference of opinion from me. This taught me that it is not okay to take sides when it comes to things that are of a hurtful nature and that cause others pain that cannot be reversed as quickly as perhaps other things might.

How about trying this? How about putting your own self in another’s shoes for a moment, and ask yourself if you were who was being thought about in the manner that is derogatory and heated by the pack mentality, how might you feel if you were that person? How might you feel if you were that person’s family, friend, child, neighbor, coworker, employer…the list could go on and on…and the things that you have said, speculated, believed, all which may or may not be the truth, are the very things that you have to deal with? How might you feel if you were trusting someone, and they broke that trust, and even as you know the person who did whatever it was to break that trust would not do whatever it was that they have or maybe have not and are only being blamed for it, you chose to take on the energy of the pack?

Pack energy is addictive. 

Pack energy. We all know it well.  I know it really well. Over time, I have had to not only earn being the so-called ‘leader of the pack’ (in terms of The Sisterhood of The Soul…the healing group comprised of myself and a few of my cousins and a few good friends here on the west coast), but had to adopt the idea that what I say impacts all of them. No, what I say isn’t about “what I say- GOES”…it is about being able to represent myself to them, each of them, in the manner that is what I hope they can see in terms of my not wanting to hurt them, my not wanting to hurt the people who they work with, my not wanting to hurt me through hurting them.

In a short time, I have had to take who I thought I was and all on my own, with some help from teachers and therapists, and of course, other healers, my best friends, and the like, and become the best version of me, to this point, that I can manage to be, even with all the challenges I face. I did it. I did not think I could, and for a long time, didn’t want to do what I had to do in order to do what I knew I needed to on my own behalf. Which, easily, was to not get wrapped up in the energy that is joining the opinions of the larger populace in terms of what it is that we can allow ourselves to believe, all on our own, without the influences of others.

It is wise to think on one’s own, simply for the fact that sometimes, the pack is not right. Sometimes, it is your own soul’s leanings that are the truth and are the only truths you need to believe…

I Love You All !

ROX

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