What would you do if challenged to help, for real, using only who you are and what you do? What would you do if you were given the chance to be there, for real, for anyone at all and actually mean it?
We humans like believing that we help everyone we can. While this might be tangibly the truth, what is also the truth is that the underlying energy of the reason why we want to help others is not what we even think about.
The truth is that when we help someone else, we are also helping ourselves.
Work with me for a moment, will you? Let me take you someplace that not a lot of Professional Weirdos are willing to take anyone who ought to want to go to those proverbial places that we all want to visit but are scared to death to do that.
Yes – scared to death. We are terrified of doing right by others, because we do not know how to feel okay with ourselves without also feeling guilty for having felt like that (truth), and on the other side of that, others are scared to help because those others, even while they will not admit it, are doing things solely for the purpose of being thanked and knowing that they were depended on, meaning that to some degree and specifically if they do not realize this, was all about controlling someone else through measures of instilling guilt, shame, self-loathing, into the person who they are claiming they want to help.
And the most …not thought about…part of all of this helping others and the manner which we are doing it, and the reason why we each and all particularly have in terms of helping others. I can say right now that there was a time, a long time ago, that I would help damned nearly anyone who ever came to me for my help. Little did I realize that sometimes, those people were not playing fairly, using my words against others as though that is what my intention was when I began to work with them. When what I told them was used against the person who they were trying to be with, and also worked against these particular clients’ plans other than what I was hoping they would do (which was simply to heal themselves and learn from the harsh things going on in their lives, but they didn’t), I became very upset, to the point of rage. No one needs that.
There were times that I wanted to help them so that they could help me not feel guilty for not putting myself, my beliefs, my values and who I am aside, for not dumbing myself down, for not failing me, but in those times, I reminded myself that being manipulated to help someone else, by that someone else, was not going to help my cause of helping people help themselves be better at being who they really are. I reminded myself that I cannot help everyone, because the truth is that not everyone is able to be helped. You see, that is the part of being able to see one’s own self from a third person point of view – the ability to see where it is that perhaps we might need to work on ourselves. I get a lot of emails asking me about my reasons for doing things for other people and other groups of people, asking me why it is that I do not demand pay for these things from some of these groups, and the truth is that the groups in question are typically not groups of adults, but groups of kids whose parents are not able to help them in the same manner that someone else’s mom whose mission in life is imparting the truth onto the populace.
The only thing that I can say to these and in answer to these questions is because kids need all the help that they can get, because they are kids. I then ask these people if they recall being a kid, at any age, and how at all times they were terrified of everything, and usually I will remind them that the reason they are asking me that specific question is already they are revealing their fear to me. They are revealing that since they do not understand my own reasons as to why I charge certain people a certain rate, and others, I do what I do for the love of my work – that since it is that they would not do the same thing, that they will judge someone like me who has no problem doing what she can with what she has been given if it means that just one more person on this planet learns something.
The reason that anyone is afraid to help is, I think, also rooted in the fear that we will be asked to help others, others who we might not want to help at all, and into play comes that ego-self reaction of feeling obligated to help when really, we might not be able to help someone else, not because we do not want to, but because we are not the right type of healer for them. No one likes letting anyone else down, and really, no one is obligated until and unless they obligate themselves to whatever it is that they have named their cause for the moment. My cause for the moment is, as I have already mentioned, to do what I can with what I have been given so freely, to those who need what I can do…yes, sometimes I do this shit for free. Deal with it.
We have been guilted for generations to help others, ALL others, just because we have been told that we have to do this. No, we do not. You would not help a group of people who form groups of people who seek out the weak and vulnerable among us so that those in that group could further their cause, would you? Of course you wouldn’t. However, you would do something for someone like yourself, someone who you could relate to and someone who you could possibly have a pretty good effect on the lives of both you and the person who you have chosen to help, simply because when we help, we are doing what we are all supposed to be doing with what it is that we do anything at all with. We are not here to be ultra cool and groovy, creating these lives filled with love and wonder, and keeping it all to ourselves, at all. We are not here to decide who is and who is not worthy of our help, for the simple fact that when we need to know, need to learn, need to have that instance of what is part of the purpose we are in this lifetime, and our part in our mission with the tribe of souls on this planet in this lifetime, so that we, through that effort and the use of those gifts, will not only be able to help others who we can help, but more, to teach us the reality that is “judge not, lest first ye shall be judged,” and to also know who are the least of us, who are those who deserve to know what is our inner state of giving, and those who we will learn the very most from, even if we never, ever meet them face to face.
This is what is our collective, global mission – we are in place to be of good service to and for one another, but never to be in servitude, which is what a whole LOT of people feel like they are doing when they are asked to do anything for anyone else. This is not the truth, and no you are not obligated to do anything out of your not wanting to feel guilty. You are not supposed to help if you feel obligated, but go and help anyone who the sacrifice, if that is what you must see it as, will be worth the value of the reward in energy that you, yourself, will create for you, for those others in need. Don’t think of it as being something that you just cannot get into, because service to all of humanity is different than being enslaved by the grind caused by the thing that you have been told all of your life is actual charity. Charity is NOT you giving things and money away for free to strangers (okay, so, technically it is BUT…I think you know what I am saying). but you taking the time to care about other human beings who you are trying to make things a little better for.
It does not make you a patsy, or a sucker, and it does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you very strong to know that on some level, even a tiny little one, you have helped to at least make the thought that you helping is somehow going to score you brownie points with your mother’s god and so that he will not strike you down for not doing what you were told by your unenlightened and controlling pastor who may well be getting a kick back from all of the campaigning that you are doing on behalf of the church he is not giving credit to the congregation for having done a stellar job in terms of caring for the global flock. (Yup, I have issues with church and organized religion…like I make it a secret or something)
I suppose that my point today is that you are meant to help others, without guilt and without feeling guilty if you do not or cannot help with certain others – that is not your fault, and you are not here to save the world. You are here to beautify your world with others like you and who live within that world, for no matter how long a time they are there, so that together, you can, with them, become your purpose, serve your mission with them and with others like them, for a common cause, which typically is not ever a bad cause, really. In my case, it is helping those who are just like me…moms with kids, women who have survived the bad moon rising of domestic violence and emotional abuse, parents who want every kid within their reach to have the best chance at a great life, all created by their own dreams and their own hands….and most of all, those who, by the very grace of the Goddess, have the ability to reach out to the world, to teach it how to live in harmony with itself, to learn to live without apology, and to Love without condition, to live within the bounds of our own personal level and energy of integrity, and to be the shining example of keeping hold and never letting go of each of our own born-into-it Kuleana, our personal responsibility, as handed to us by the Goddess, cultivated within us through the desire to see good in the world as it really is…organic…
….but mostly, to never lose sight of the one thing that should be the prize that all of our eyes are upon, at all times…
…the ability to fully Be Love, and by that measure to Be, In Love… Being, In Love, is not the sort that you might think when you see that term. It is nice to be In Love with one other person who you share so very much in common with (Hi Maestro…Muah). Yet, to Be, In Love, means to always live within a presence of Love within the confines of one’s own life, to Be in the Love that is within one’s own self and for one’s own self, and to know that even when things suck, we have the option to Be, In Love, or to be in turmoil from not ever thinking that the most loving thing that we can ever do for ourselves is to do what we do for those whose mission in life is the same as ours…I just said what it is….I’ll say it again…
Nike says Just do it…
Spirit says Be, In Love…so just do it – Be, In Love…
Big Mahalos for Reading and Sharing…Aloha Kakou…
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