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Nope… you can’t always get what you want…

1_Tiger Woods_Loss_ManaOBlog CantAlwaysGetWhatYouWant

Sometimes, the things that we want are not the same things as what we need. Sometimes, what we want is in direct conflict with what we need. What we need is also sometimes what we want. We cannot forget that we can’t always get what we want

“…You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need…”

(“You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” by The Rolling Stones)

No one I know wants to not get what they want. At the same time, no one I know wants to know, or actually, believe, the truth behind the phrase (and the really great song by the Stones) “You can’t always get what you want,” and while that sucks, it is a Universal Truth that cannot be denied.

Another Universal Truth that cannot be denied is that sometimes, the reason that you can’t get what you want is because it might not useful for your life purpose, or, your intentions with what you want might not be pure, or, the biggest reason, you can’t always get what you want because it is not what is needed for you in your life, for your mission and according to your purpose in life.

The things that we need are not always the things that we want. In fact, the things that we need might actually suck, but the things that suck usually are connected to the things that we want, and if we choose to look at things in that manner, we can see there that as long as what we need and what we want are the same thing or are of the same vibratory pattern, we will, without a shadow of a doubt, get what we want and need. That is just the way this all works.

The Way This All Works

Whether anyone at all wants to believe me or not, the way that things in this Universe works is first, we find what sucks and deal with it (or don’t) and then we get what we need, and sometimes, really, what we need is for things to suck. Seriously.

Sometimes, some of us have chosen to be such a princess about things that if we don’t get what we want when we want it, we tend to behave in a very…Snickers Bar Commercial Diva…about things. Yes, even and especially the guys – y’all don’t like to lose, and not getting what you want when you want it can turn a couple of you into “Princess BitchGuy.” (Get over yourself already…yup…I went there…I said it – so DEAL WITH IT, ’cause it’s the Truth).

Really, though – when things suck, we have to ask ourselves what things that suck remind us of that is not right now and also sucked. If we go back in our memories, and we look at times past, and we can see something similar in that time that has passed, we can also know, too, that we have come up with the solution to the problem at hand, and that maybe, the thing that sucks right now is a karma thing, is something that you need to balance, and in that energy, you don’t get what you want because what you need is to balance the karma.

The Universe is a picky bitch about balance

Picky Bitches.

We ALL know one. I am one with certain things, namely when it comes to certain things that involve other people, especially people who I share with or intend to share with an extreme closeness. I am this way because for the majority of my lifetime, I have been shown that it doesn’t matter what something looks like, as long as it doesn’t cost a whole lot. When I put that into other words, and ask myself “are you sure you want to hang out with that person who appears to be a crack head?” my immediate answer is ALWAYS NO!

It isn’t because that person is a crack head, and it isn’t because that person might have issues that I could help them heal within themselves, it is because I am a picky bitch in that who I hang with is representative of me, and who I hang with, even though they might not be saying a thing about me in any manner, the moment that someone knows that I am hangin’ with a crack head, automatically I am going to be assumed to also be a crack head.

I am SO not a crack head.

That is neither here nor there. What I mean by that is that, the Universe demands balance, and when it is that our lives feel like they are not going in the right direction, and we feel like someone is playing a big, fat, ugly joke on us, if we bother to think back, as I just stated, and if we thought about how we felt when this shit hit the fan last time, and we can see how that turned out (or didn’t) we can also see to it that we know we will get through it, that once we are through it we can move forward onto the next thing, and most of all, we never have to go through that shit again, because in that one balancing act, we have found out something about ourselves and perhaps it was that something that the universe was trying to tell us we needed, even though we didn’t want it.

Seriously – you will not get what you want before you get what you need

Tangibly, we might be able to manipulate energy to get what we want, but, if we are not careful and we like believing that it doesn’t matter how we got that thing, the Universe will make sure that we KNOW we are incorrect. It is when we do things with the wrong intention, when someone else is going to lose something undeservedly, and when it is that we have placed on that one thing an importance that does not belong with it. It is when we have glued ourselves to the outcome that we want rather than the one that is needed, so as to open the door to what we want, if we need it, that we become hard to convince that maybe we were not supposed to have whatever that was, or that we were not supposed to have it until we are ready.

And, “until we are ready” is about EVERYTHING, including relationships. Relationships are the one thing that a whole LOT of other women come to me about, because they want to know how it is that I am so very happy in mine. I hear them say things like “if he expects to be with me, then he is just going to have to change (insert thing that she has no control over here) for me.” You can imagine the shit-storm of nonsense that I hear once it is that I tell a whole LOT of them that to expect someone else to change for us is like expecting to make rain fall without a cloud in the sky – NOT gonna happen (unless you can do that shit…then it could…no, really…).

We want perfection, but we, ourselves, are not willing to be perfect. In fact, we are, ourselves, are only willing to point out in other people what we think is “wrong” with them, and we do not even think that maybe, just maybe, it is not the other person who needs to fix something within them, but really, it is us who has to do that.

Oh man…wow…I can hear the hushed murmurs of women from one end of the planet to the other, all of them asking why it is that if I am such a great feminist, then why is it that I am not taking the side of the women in my example?

Umm…because – what is this article titled as? Yeah…it is also because I have a problem with people who have an air of entitlement to them, and women all over the place have this about them when it comes to the most important relationship that they have that is not with their kids – the one with their significant other. They want their partner to be this perfect guy (or chick) and when it comes down to it, and they end up being disappointed, what they are not thinking at that point is that it is THEIR expectations which has caused the energy of disappointment in them – NOT their partner’s

This is not to say that anyone’s partner is without sins and warts – but, it is to say that we, ourselves, come complete with the same things that anyone else does, so why are we judging and why are we expecting someone else to change for us when we will not change for ourselves, either? Who the hell are we to think that somehow, we are above that man (or that chick) (haha) and that somehow, they have to go by what rules we set FOR THEM but that we are free and able to be who we are, even if who we are is an asshole?

Again, it doesn’t work that way.

And I dare you to challenge me on it.

I dare you to sit there, get all ass hurt, thinking that somehow, no matter what the relationship is and with whom, you are somehow above the other person, because you are you. Did it ever occur to you that you cannot walk on water, and that you are not the only person on this planet who can be the thing that fills the void in any relationship and that you are not the cat’s okole that you think you are? How would you feel if you were the one who was being judged, expected to change, and for what? So that someone else could find you good, right and acceptable? After a very long time spent in a hellish marriage, I am here to tell anyone at all, there is no need for another person to be up to par according to you. Where you got that idea from is wrong, and you need to stop thinking in terms of only yourself, because that is going to get you nowhere.

For reals, though…you can’t always get what you want…

This is the bottom line truth here, folks – you can’t always have your way.

You can’t always get what you want when you want it. It takes time to not be an asshole, namely if you have been an asshole your whole entire life. Sometimes, it is that you are being made humble that you find yourself feeling all alone in the energy that is “by yourself.” Sometimes, you are being told things that you don’t want to hear but that you might need to hear. Sometimes things suck ass, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it other than check themselves before further wrecking themselves

When we think in terms of the bigger picture, we have to ask ourselves if we want to go through the things that brought us to this place of want, over and over again, or, do we want to suffer just a little bit, go through the things that we have to go through in order for change to happen for us and so that we never have to go through the things that we have been through to this point, because we chose to do the work, learn that we can’t always get what we want and that maybe, Spirit has something way better in store for us.

I promise…I know this.

In fact, I know it so well that anymore, I wear it on my sleeve.

Think about it – would you want to be someone who you are not, just so someone else could accept you as something other than yourself? Are you thinking about the things that you want as also being something that you do not need? Are you up to the task of doing everything that you expect your partner to do?

If you answered “no” to any of these things…yup…time to check yourself before you wreck yourself

Aloha!

ROX

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Willingly, Walk…

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The only way to heal from anything at all is to run headlong into the proverbial fire and willingly walk through it to the other side

If there is anything at all that I dislike, more than anything else, it is waiting for something that I know is going to happen, to ultimately happen. Of course, every human being on the planet is always waiting for something, and really, the waiting that I am writing about is the sort that we wait for what seems like a lifetime. In my case, it is the end of one part of my life that will, when it happens, bring to a stop a whole lot of other things that somehow have the same sense of energy attached to it. I totally understand the idea that some things have to happen for other things to happen, it doesn’t mean that on the way to those other things happening that we will not end up having human being type moments, and the sort that reintroduce to us, sometimes through the same people or situations they’d come to us in the first place, to the pain through the harm that most people seem just to put in the back of their minds until later when they think they can deal with it.

Later, I find, rarely, if ever, comes.

Waiting until later is not an option

Okay, so that is not entirely the truth. We can always wait until “later” to fix the things within us that are bothering us all the time, or we can just choose to not believe that we can do anything about those things at all and through that choice will continue to experience things that do not resemble change that we can witness in our own lives and in our own selves.

This is not something that I just made up a few minutes ago, but is rather and only something that came as a realization to me over time that told me that this time, when I felt the pull of the Universe beckoning me in certain directions, and when it was that those directions that I have been pulled in landed me somewhere familiar but was also harmful I started to believe that in order for us to experience the changes that we so dearly seek out, the first order of change has to be within.

Okay, so I didn’t just figure that one out.

I already knew that one. I suppose that the thing that I figured out is that even when it is that we believe that everything that we need in order to further our own selves is in order, there is always that chance that we have missed a step, have overlooked something, or, in my case, simply just do not want to deal with those things any longer. I just do not want to deal with people who like to harm others, and I just can no longer tolerate the harsher energies of them, but in order to not feel the energy at a constant, I have to willingly feel the energy of right now.

The energy of right now tells me that I am almost “there,” even though I am not really that sure about where exactly “there” is, even though, too, the “there” that I have arrived at up to this point has been magnificent, has not been the sort of “there” that was not welcomed and was and is indeed the “there” that is the most “welcome home” feeling I have ever known.

The “there” in that one very uniquely special and particular manner is good, great, awesome like nothing else, is rock solid, is what it was meant to become to this point, there are other “theres” that I have come to recently, and, as well, those are as nice and needed and almost as reassuring as the welcoming energy is and that was already described a few sentences ago.

It is the rest of the “theres” that, while I am not having trouble with, at least not at the level where I know that I am stopping my own flow, the part that I am having trouble with is the not knowing when the end result will be, because always, and with exception to the first “there” in this set of “theres” that you have thus far read about, there is always going to be that measure of having to prioritize what is seen to next.

I will be honest with anyone at all when I say that the reason the next “there” that I need to get to is not more than it is right now is not for any other reason than that really, I just have hoped for so long that it would just simply roll out of my life like a turd rolls downhill, but, nope…looks like I have more work to do with it, and I am fine with it, even though I have been working with it rather than working on it.

One does not work with the flames across which they will walk; they work on them so as to make them as hospitable as possible, given that it will be their bare flesh on the soles of their proverbial feet that will literally feel the majority burn. Too many people will tell others that it is all left up to mind being over matter at any given time, but when it comes to the things that matter the most to us in terms of what we no longer want in our lives, care and time must be taken, just as much as care and time must be taken in order that we have other, more pleasant things in our lives to look forward to.

It takes times for a home to be situated in the manner that the residents prefer so as to make it as welcoming to them as it can be, even as the home itself is new to them, their own waking lives are not.

It takes time for someone whose entire life has been marred by emotional harm from others to be able to poke their heads out of the hiding places they have created within them so as to breathe in the daylight and to know that they are not alone, and time to actually learn to trust themselves to trust other people. I know this one personally. It takes time for anyone at all who has gone through anything at all to not think in the manner they thought that may well have brought them to this place where they are now.

This place where I am now

I could sit here and tell anyone at all the dramatic story of my life to this point, but I am bored with telling it. More than that, I am sick and tired of reliving the crap that I went through just to get to this point.

Believe me when I tell you that strange things happen in my life all the time, but that I could not have seen my life at this point being how it is right now and in the manner that it is right now is the strangest thing of all.

I am ecstatic and thrilled for many areas of my life, because those areas are working like somehow, to this point, this is what I was meant for, these are the people who are meant to be with me at this point, and this is the way that things are going to be from now on. I could sit here and think only about those things, which would be really nice if that were possible. And really, it is possible, but, just as much as those things are possible, to deny the things which need my attention simply because those things are possible is careless and reckless and most human beings cannot just turn a blind eye from the things that they know need their attention.

While it is that we all know that certain things absolutely need our attention, there is that thing about us all that makes it so that we would rather NOT look at those things or work on those things and sometimes, the work is NOT about making those things tangibly change but is about accepting that change is happening now and happening whether or not we are ready for it to be that way.

You see, when the Mother Goddess needs us to be all we are able to be, versus all that She knows we are already, She presents us with a lesson. Right now, my lesson is NOT about what people think of me and not about what I can do for anyone else and is all and only about my being able to accept things as they are slowly…sloooooowly….coming into being.

Thing about all that is that I have accepted things like they are for so long now that I have to now retrain my brain to not be so tolerant of the things that I have been through and that I have allowed into my life through that measure of tolerance of people who believe that because of one factor or another, they are somehow allowed to be …icky.

Icky People and Karma

I know how Karma works. It is all about the intention. It is the reason why any teacher of weirdness will tell anyone at all to be careful what they wish for because they might get that one thing. The other thing that no one ever thinks about is that every thought we think carries energy, and if the strength of emotion behind that thought is pure and regardless if whether that thought is perceived as “good” or “bad” is how anyone at all creates their own Karma.

I have written a whole LOT about Karma and the way that I know it works. What no one thinks about though is that when we are teaching anyone about Spirit, most of us do not think, too, that we need to explain this karma thing a little bit better than we have been, and the way that we have been explaining it for too long already is that “what comes around goes around,” and there are a shit  load of (ahem) “religious types” who like to put it in our faces that when we piss God off, we stand to go through hell-fire and brimstone and that is that.

(What an awful, shitty,pansy-ass way of manipulating people.)

Reality is that, as I have stated in the past numerous times, whatever it is that we truly and dearly want for someone else, no matter what it is, we will end up with that, for sure, but also, for real, we WILL END UP FOR SURE ALSO HAVING TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE WHAT WE HAVE WISHED ONTO SOMEONE ELSE…of course, there are those times when we are trying to balance things and in balancing things we have to do things that we have to do, because really, there is no other way about doing things.

We are not really told, at least not point blank, that in order to walk the walk, we not only need to heed our own talk, but, we also have to truly be willing to walk that walk, meaning that we HAVE TO walk through the fires that burn us to our very core selves before we can rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

We have to be able to tell others what it was like for real, what happened in our lives that would bring us to this point where we are on our feet but feel like we are on our knees and begging for mercy when in reality, the only thing that we actually have to do is stand up and become stand alone.

Can’t walk if you are in the crawling position.

In order to walk one must be able to stand.

In order to stand, one must have the strength to brave the coals beneath your feet, looking only at the end of the fire walk, to the ocean which waits on the other side.

Once it is that we stand and walk, we also allow a change in perspective. Once we have a change in perspective, and once the paradigm within us regarding anything at all has changed, we can begin seeing where it is that we ultimately will be in the very near future so long as we willingly walk the path of fire.

So do yourself a favor…get up off of your knees…you have no one to beg anything of…

…stand…and walk…willingly

I Love You All !

ROX

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Mirrors Cannot Lie

If we want to know what is the truth of us, all we have to do is pay attention to how others are reacting to our words, our actions, and even the energy that we cannot stop from broadcasting. Other people are our mirrors, and what we see in them depends completely on us.

Our ability to handle the truth lives within us. We might not like a whole lot of the truths that we are told to us about us and by others, but we cannot change their minds or their thoughts about how they perceive us. We alone are who are responsible for what it is that they have seen and that causes their perception by them of us. It is made clear to us who we are through them and to them in the reactions that they have to sometimes something as small as the mere mention of a person’s name. Think about it. I know that when someone tells me that their first name is the same name that is the one of my kids’ dad, my blood boils, and my sense of self-containment seems to go by the wayside.

What else also gives us a clue as to who we are in the lives of other people is if their reaction, rather than response to us, is not particularly favorable. We know when the damage is so bad that what we have said or done to someone else, namely if it was for our own personal gain, that just the sight of us makes them very angry. Women are great at doing this to men. We are great at taking advantage of society’s role as baby-sitter when it comes to things being fair between men and women. While it might seem that I am picking on my own …let’s call them my “coven” (that is so not what they are, but they know what I am talking about), the truth is that there are a LOT of us who still need DEARLY to just let things be, let go of the past, and simply move on.

It isn’t about our not being the only (insert cool thing here) in peoples’ lives, but only about our own selves as being present and aware in our own lives so that we can also be present and aware of who we are in the lives of others. Too, too many people like to take what their version of a story is, broadcast it to everyone in their own inner circle, thinking that we are getting away with anything at all, when in reality, all we are really doing is damaging ourselves.  For the very life of us we cannot let go of things that have hurt us. I won’t bullshit ya – while I don’t broadcast anymore, the details and the ugliness of what I have gone through, at least not here or anywhere public, I will say that there are times, recently even, where I have had to let anyone at all know what it is that the baby daddy said or did or threatened me with, if for nothing other than to merely just release the little bit of bad energy I had for the man at the time.

Yet, and apparently, I am sort of strange because, while it is that this person hurt me dearly, I also am one who is not willing to live in that energy of what was, not one who has chosen to remain to hang on to that hurt that was given to me, just so that I can have some sort of little moronic thing to hang over his big fat empty head. I could sit here and tell you all about the nasty things he has said to me and more, the ugly things that he physically brought to my awareness, and the terrifying energy that was my life not very long ago at all, but for what? I certainly don’t care to live in that energy and never wanted to. This leads me to the question of why it is that  so many people seem to think it is that holding a grudge is somehow going to help them get over it. It won’t. It will prolong the foolishness, and it will only hurt the person who is hanging on to whatever it is that they think and see as being an infraction to their soul that was somehow something that they, themselves, had no part in.

The reality is a whole lot different than that. It is like a woman who has had her heart broken by someone, and rather than moving on to healing and wholeness and the opportunity to actually have Love again, said woman chooses to make life difficult on others, rather than giving in to the acceptance of things as they are, learning to deal with them as best she can, and eventually moving on, only seeing what was her reality in the past as no longer being anything but a memory. Really, that is what those horrible things need to be – JUST a memory and more or less the “trophy” to having survived it. I say a whole lot about being a survivor, and in becoming one, it is not the best way to get there by holding dearly to the heaviness that was the energy of that pain from that time. 

To hang on to the energy of that pain only prolongs that pain. To live inside of that thought, never thinking to release one’s own self from that energy is like handing someone with a penchant and an affinity for violence a very sharp bladed knife and then pointing them to the jugular, bending one’s neck in the direction it would need to be in order to make a clean and effective cut. Pain is a heavy energy. It is where our Spiritual muscles are made what they are supposed to be, which is strong. I can speak for a few people in my own inner circle when I say that it was not until the moment that these people, through their own devices, came to the conclusion that the only person hurting from the past and also from the actions and words they had imparted onto others that were meant to hurt them eventually only and karmically came back to haunt them and make them also pay their Soul’s debt.

The same can be said of people who lose everything and who cannot stop ruminating about what it was that they’d lost, and can be said of people who have been made to look foolish, all by the things that they have exacted themselves, and the same thing can be said of people who feel that everyone on the planet owes them for whatever it is that they, themselves, have brought into their lives and that they have made the people in their lives incredibly miserable by having done and said.

There is never any healing that will take place that will be permanent when we believe that in order to make things right, we have to make them even, and on that note, there are a lot of options that we have at our disposal at making things right and even, and most of the time, we choose the ones that will quell the fire of the good emotional stuff rather than the  bullshit that will end up hurting other people. Yes, indeed, hurt people hurt other people, and those hurt people who hurt other people need badly to get a clue, need badly to take a long look at the patterns in their own lives and realize that the thing that they are seeking is contained in all of these people who they have hurt.

These people are called our mirrors, and always, rather than believe what is there in the mirror, we would rather shatter the mirror.

Our Mirrors Will Never Lie To Us

Think of the people in your life as being mirrors. Whatever it is that is their response or their reaction to what we have offered them in terms of words, actions or energy is what they are mirroring back to us. If we are being ridiculous, we will get that energy from others that we are being ridiculous. If we are being threatening, we will be met with the equal energy of others feeling like we have threatened them and in kind those others will respond to our energetic response.

If we have the energy that we are on the attack, it will be that same energy which we will be getting in return, no matter what. It may not be from the person or the people who we sent this to, but it will, regardless of what we want to believe, be returned, and really, this is one of those things where we will be helpless to do a thing about it.  We are truly not able to do anything about what another person perceives is the actuality of who we are when we are enraged, when we are not willing to allow other people to be who they are all the time, but mostly when they are being the person they are when they are around us.

It is like those times when a victim decides that he or she wants to survive, and that is the energy that is presented to everyone else, but namely to their attacker or abuser. It is like those times when said attacker gets to the point where he or she is not only too tired to continue their tirade, but more, they have become weary of not being loved in the manner that they wish they could be, at which time, for certain people, because of certain events and energies that still preside, even and only in the memories of those whose lives they impacted, it is too late.

…and really, what that says to someone like me is that you probably don’t deserve people in your life who you are just going to manipulate to bend toward your own will and your own way, and all so that you won’t lose out on what you might want to believe is the only thing that you can call your own. What you can call your own is the energy that causes people to stay the hell away from you, because the heaviness of it all doesn’t allow them to be who they are for real, all the time, when they are with you or near you.

You see, what you are doing right now is creating the reflection from others that is unfavorable, and with your own two physical eyes you can see what their inner world in regards to you really is.  This is the thing that, here I go again with this abuse survival thing, ALL abusers cannot see, for any reason, because they are choosing to remain ignorant to the things that they have brought to their victim, their families, and their circle of friends and acquaintances, in the manner that is their telling people why they did what they did, or better than that, why it is that THEY are the victim. One always knows an abuser by their energy. I zero in on it. It is almost as though I do not have a choice in the matter anymore, and it is with very good reason.

It is not only to keep me safe from harm, but more, it is to show me what I have risen above.  What I have risen above is a whole lot in terms of knowing the heaviness that is the energy when I am confronted, even unbeknownst to me, by someone who has been bad to their loved ones. And really, they are not loved by these abusive people, but in their own minds, these people are owned, and once the ownership of them is over with, this is when the energy of release begins.  Thing is, we cannot, ourselves, “call it” when it comes to how, and through which sort of energy, that release will be. We do not have the right to control others. We only have the right to do that for ourselves.

An abuser knows when the release of energy begins, because what replaces the energy of fear, through the energy of release, is the energy that is triumph. No abuse survivor willingly will be in the presence of their abuser, and it is not only because their abuser is a person who makes the person who rose above the abuser’s bullshit is right in their thought that this moron makes them want to hurl, but more, it is because the survivor no longer can see themselves in the reflection of the person who hurt them so badly. Once it is that the abused person realizes and accepts where they have been, accepts that they have to move on in order to heal, and accepts that they have to do these things on their own, this is when the energy that holds the attacked is released. Upon realization that I had been lied about, not only to friends, family and acquaintances, but also to the police, my therapist on more than one occasion (yes, I had a therapist…”had”), and even some of my very closest confidantes, I was able to make the right choice to no longer or ever be so blindsided by my own thoughts about the good in people and to just let them get away with being bad to me.

And, at that time in my life when I chose correctly, he was the very mirror of the pain that was being suffered on the inside of me. However, now is different, and it is because I chose to no longer be the reflection of whatever it was that he projected to me. I had to grow up, very fast, the very first time that he put hands on me, and silly me, I believed that just staying quiet and saying nothing and thinking that maybe it was normal and that all women went through that happened everywhere and that it would only be one time. It didn’t. It wasn’t only one time. It was not that he chose to stop being the moron that I know he still is, but that I knew that there was a truth to me that was all my own, and that no one would be able to hamper other than me.

I refused to see what was in the mirror that no longer had to be the truth of me, and it was at that point that I shattered the mirror, shattered what was someone else’s truth about me, and thereby forged, for myself, a new Path, and one which has become gloriously gorgeous in many ways and continues to do so.

Yet, without caring enough to look at what was staring at me in the face and no longer being scared to look, let alone take action on my own behalf, I would not be able to sit here, today, and tell you that while you cannot change other people, you can, and should, think about the idea that you can and are able to change what mirrors are yours.

I Love You All !

ROX

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Making the case for every day of the year

“…Love is all around you…” (Tesla’s “Love Song”)

Often, right around this time of the year, the questions about love, about finding love, about all things love begin to be emailed, texted and chatted to and with me. Most of the time I am asked if I know when someone’s twin flame will show up, or if I know that anyone at all will find Love at all.

You can imagine the responses that I get in reply to the things that I send back to ANYONE at all about why it is that, at least to me, it should be Valentine’s Day everyday where love, for anyone, regardless of who they are in our lives, is concerned. Of course, when you are like me and your job in the world is to be the very conduit of Love and healing for just about anyone who I come into contact with, whose lives I happen to happen upon, for whatever reason it is that I have to be there at whatever time it is that I appear on the scene and in their lives, Love is the easiest thing in the world to do. To simply Love others is just who I am, is exactly what I do, and is how I navigate the open waters of Life.

Yet, we all seem to get a little too…ugh…right around now. Right now it is 3 days prior to Valentine’s Day 2014. Right now there is an entire population of men (and women, too) who are very dearly not looking forward to this coming Friday. And who can blame them? I mean, really – when you think about it, why is it that only one day a year are people more inclined to show, through measures of gift giving, of gifts of Love, when in reality, it is our job to Love people anyway, our job to be able to be empathetic toward anyone at all, walk a few feet in their proverbial shoes, and know, for sure, that they are worthy of this thing called Love? Why are we only so concerned with how big of a diamond you give to her, and why are you only concerned with wearing anything fun underneath those mom clothes but one time a year?

What the hell is wrong with a society which chooses to remain permeated and inundated with a token of Love, when in reality what we ALL need, no matter what kind of Love it is, is the real thing?

Because loving others means that we have to be real

Love, in all of its forms and energy, cannot ever be pretend. Think about it for a bit and you will know that I am right – ever tried, for years and years, to Love someone who was SO cantankerous, so, so, SO acidic in their own views of things, of life, of what love is supposed to be, that eventually, trying to keep up with THEIR ideal just seemed like it would be the wrong way and the wrong kind that was offered by you?  Is this the reason why I am not too very…I don’t know…not one of those people who is inclined to see things in the same way that anyone else would when it comes to things as big and important as loving anyone at all, no matter who they are, for whatever reason it is that they need it.

I learned a long time ago that loving anyone at all should not come with conditions. I had a lot of conditions placed on me for a lot of the time that I have walked the crust of the earth in this lifetime. None of what I was shown throughout that time, other than one instance, could be called or even named as being what is the truth of unconditional love. I think it is sort of a deal breaker when anyone says that “He/She better KNOW that I want one of those (insert lovely gift thingy here) or ELSE!”

Really? Are you kiddin’ me? You mean to tell me that all this time, I have had it wrong? I am not supposed to give or expect to receive back anything remotely even appearing to me to be the truth in Love as it is meant to be? You mean that I am not supposed to care about people, and I am not supposed to know their pain, not supposed to offer them what they need when they need it, and it is because of WHAT????? ARE YOU SURE????

NO ONE- and I mean NO ONE at all can or will convince me that Love, no matter what sort, is only meant for one day of the year. I will not ever believe that the only day of the year that we are required to show love to anyone else at all is February 14th. I have never believed this way. I have always been able to Love people, in the manner that they believe that I am there to, no matter what. I have always been able to see  the good in others, always been able to just deal with and digest the ugliness because I see others only through the eyes of Love. This is my purpose in life – to Love, and it should be so with all of us, because all of our singular purposes in this lifetime are tied to the energy called Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love is NOT something that most folks want to believe that only Christ was able to give – I beg dearly to differ.

If your dog can do it, then what the hell is your problem?

Your dog…yes, your canine buddy (mine’s name is Kimo – he is the Killer Ninja Puff) has Unconditional Love down to a science. He knows that he is there but to Love, to trust and to have your companionship. You, as his human, give him the same thing. Your excuse as to why it is that you can’t give love to other humans like you do your dog is because you can’t trust humans like you can your dog. This is a problem. This is THE problem. Did anyone ever stop to think that the people anyone at all cannot trust in anyone at all’s singular life is mirroring to you at all the real thing that is underlying your own issues with other people? I mean it is really very simple – learn to trust you, learn to trust your intuition, learn to trust that you are good enough to be loved, and most of all, practice loving you.

The reason that a lot of people do not ever trust anyone else (and I get it, I really do) is because they cannot trust themselves. They cannot trust themselves to trust someone else, because in trusting someone else, they have to be able to let their guard down and let anyone else at all, in. They cannot trust that they will never not be hurt again. They cannot trust that they will be strong enough to handle the dings to their ego when other people tell them that they are not perfect. They cannot trust anyone to not only see them in their glowing light as much as they cannot trust them to also NOT only see their darkness.

People have a hard time trusting others because for forever and five years now we have been conditioned to only see what bad can happen, so we completely cut ourselves off from the good in others, good that is all for us, given by them. People have a hard time trusting because, yes, they, you, me , we all have been so hurt, so battered, our hearts broken into a tiny million pieces, over and over again, that it is of little wonder that we have not already completely wiped out the population of people on the planet. We have learned very well to hate, and we have learned well to judge others for who they are not. We have learned to see only what we think is wrong with someone else, not realizing the things that we see there in them also lives within us. We are so busy pointing out what someone else’s imperfections are that we cannot even begin to see it when someone else points ours out. That is when the hurt is the biggest, and it is not because they pointed it out, but because we refused to see it there when so clearly there it is.

If you could have just one wish

Think about it for a minute – if you could have one wish become true, you would pick something that would not be finite or tangible, but would give you what you needed in order to have that tangibility. If you could have what you thought you wanted right this moment, instead of bothering to look at you from the inside, out, and you could see there what it is that makes you unique and apart from everyone else, would that one wish still be the same, or will it have changed? And, will it have changed according to what is best for you, or would it change to be something that would accommodate someone else – anyone else – so that you would be more acceptable to them and according to what THEY want, not only from you, but from a lot more than only you.

When someone else tells us that they have certain demands and conditions that must be met (or else they will find something else to ‘fix’ us, or, they will simply find someone else who is, at least in their heads, more acceptable to their ego’s senses), that is not Love. I don’t know what to call it other than bullshit. I know what it feels like, though. Very well, I might add, the energy that is never being good enough for someone else and the energy that is telling someone else that unless I am worth a few freakin’ lousy dollars spent on flowers and a bunch of chocolates, that they are not worth my time. This is SO wrong, on SO many levels. No wonder why people think they have to score points with anyone at all, just to get them to take notice that the other person has taken notice.

That is SO manipulative and creepy, so wrong and so…abusive, on an emotional level, that I can barely stand it! I mean, don’t get me wrong, because really, I like presents, and all those other things that all women love. Yet, I am not going to put any sort of pressure on anyone, ever, to prove their worth to me – in terms of people, at least where I am concerned, you are either worth my time, or you are not. If you are worth my time, you will know it, because I am not shy about telling people exactly how I feel about them, no matter who they are.

If you are not worth my time, that, too, will be very obvious, because I don’t waste my time with people who don’t even bother to see me for who I am. This is not to say that because I might not say hello to you everyday, that I don’t want to be friends or that you are not one of my most favorite cousins. It is to say, though, that no one in my life is required to prove how valued I am by the show of trinkets. No one who I know and love, and no one who knows and loves me, is ever, or has ever been held to some secret pact made that says we have to prove anything to one another.

It just is. That is all there is to it. There are 365 days in a year, and every couple of years, 366. We can manage, I think, to find one thing about anyone at all that is love. And love is not only between two people, is not only romantic, and when it is romantic, it should also include a modicum of friendship, because that is where we first learn to love others – through our friends and the people who we have spent the most time with throughout our lives. Sometimes we find that there are things about them that we might not like, but the love does not go away, ever. It remains the same as it always was, and becomes bigger and more real as time passes.

When that happens, and you have been through the wringer more than one time, you begin to know, for sure, that everyday should be marked for Love between human type folks.  Love is something that is given in the form of energy, and yes, sometimes trinkets. Yet, to expect trinkets to be the ultimate show of Love is somehow lacking. Some people just don’t get it – opening a gift is great, but knowing, everyday of your life, that you are special…

…that is a gift in and of itself, every single day.

Love, everyday. Don’t put so much pressure on what is in the heart shaped box. Doing so may make it so that there is so much pressure that eventually the bubble bursts.

The only thing left will be the energy that is that of the goo brought about by too many expectations placed on one person who loves you every single day of the year.

Think about it. Seriously.

I would rather be someone’s reason to smile everyday, than someone’s reason anyone feels required to buy me something one lousy day a year….

That’s not Love. That’s a box of chocolates and flowers that will eventually die anyway. Yeah yeah… I know…it’s the thought that counts…

So, what are you really thinking about in terms of what Love really is?

Oooooh MAN! Y’all weren’t ready for THAT one, were ya?

Haha….yup, you know it ! I TOTALLY know what it is…and of course –

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

RJB_NEW_PO_AO..MEME

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WIsdomFromAWiseAssMeme

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