Tag Archives: Survivor

Seeds We Have Sown

…and it was given life through breath, by Christ, as He spoke and stated “Life is as the soil upon which we scatter seed. We sleep and we rise, and the seeds begin to sprout and grow, and we haven’t any power over this – the soil and seed do what is intended. The soil does what is intended, as does the seed…” (Mark 4:26-28, NA translation)

Yeah yeah…I know…it is strange for me to use reference that is biblical, but for this blog post it was appropriate because overnight I have found that there are things that too many of us are not willing to think about in terms of what it is that we are proliferating into this consciousness. I am reminded of people who cannot see past their Ego’s wants rather than what the Soul needs. Sometimes, it is the Soul that calls us out and tells us that we have been this person who we are for way too long, that we have to reassess who we are and our place in life and more than anything else, we have to let go of those things which are tearing us apart on the inside.

The problem with this is that, while a lot of us know that we should let go of the things that hurt us, that pissed us off, that made us feel like we actually had or perhaps still have a lot of work to do on ourselves, there is still a population of people who are more inclined to delve into the darkness that is their own, which is fine, but who don’t accept that their darkness has interrupted the lives of other people. They don’t want to see what it is that they have caused someone else – anyone else – and so they ignore it. Or, if they do not ignore it, they choose to ONLY live in the energy that they want to believe is the only one that is available to them, when in reality, it is not.

These are people who have bothered, without much thought and absolutely with way too much emotion (and not the mushy gushy kind, either), and have recklessly chosen for others, as well as themselves, the things that would visit anyone’s life at all. Manipulation is what this is called, and the more proliferate the energy of manipulation it is that we send out into the Universe, the more we will, without even realizing it, bring into consciousness, through other people responding to that energy, EVERYTHING we think about. The part that these manipulating people do not realize is that EVERYTHING we think about in terms of other people and what we believe to be the truth of what they have caused us (which, a lot of times, we know it is NOT the truth), when we want to make it so that we are the victim (good luck with that because if this is how you feel this is all you will EVER be…I said it, so deal with it) and are willing to lie about things, it is a guarantee that we will also and ultimately go through those very same things that we put someone else through for our own selfish gain, or the things that we accused them of having done to us. (The truth, guys…there is NOTHING like it…Truth rules if you can hang with it)

EVERYTHING we think about becomes our reality…so please, be careful of your thoughts and your energy

If you wanna see the evidence of this energy thing and how our thoughts become things, the easiest way to do that is to look at the way the people who you spend the most time with is affecting them. If you have children, you will see this energy in them, and it will manifest as either joy or trepidation. Having worked with a whole lot of kids of parents where one was abusive toward the other, I have seen this manifested in a whole lot of ways, and the one way that is the more prevalent is that of fear.

If we plant the seeds of control in people, and we are not aware of exactly what we are doing to ourselves, we will find out, not in the nicest ways, that we have done so, and have done so without thought and with absolute malice. The evidence is there, in the energy of the children whose lives have been marred by the constant energy of heaviness, of one parent trying to “outdo” the other in terms of making sure that they hurt whoever it is that they intend to. This comes out in our kids, because they watch all of this, and they absorb all of this, and unfortunately, they proliferate this energy. It becomes what they know as “normal,” and unless someone steps in and either tells them the truth of things, or better than that, becomes the example of that truth in the real reality of Life and of living, those children perpetuate that energy. They have a choice not to, but are not aware of that choice unless or until someone comes along and tells them that they have this choice.

Our kids and their having the choice “not to”

I sit here writing this with the beautiful thought in my head that even as I know that my own children have been through a whole lot in terms of what has happened and what they have seen me go through and more, seen me live with after the fact, my kids are well-adjusted, even as they have seen the horrific nature of abuse within a marriage. While I will not say here or ever that they are not damaged by what they have been witness to, I will sit here, proudly so, and state that they have made it through all the madness and have, by my prompting, learned well how to heal the heart ache.

Yet, not all parents are like this. In fact, a whole lot of parents cannot see the things that they are teaching their kids through their own action (or inaction) toward what has happened. I have a lot of people in my circle of souls who have kids who have watched their children’s own mothers lie about the same said kids’ fathers, and these fathers come to me asking me one thing – they want to know how it is that any mother could enforce the energy of hatred toward someone else, namely the other parent of the children who are not these mothers’ kids alone. Of course, my immediate response is a question of why it is that the mothers of their children hate them and what it was that started all of the planting of the wrong seeds?

The stories that I have heard are nothing short of nauseating. I have a hard time, not with the stories of the abuses that were imparted onto these gentlemen and the lies told about them to the authorities (and there are a whole lot more than only a few of these men, lemme tell you what…)about how these men who were once good enough to father these women’s children are somehow now the lowest scum of the earth. I would like to know what holier-than-thou horse these women came riding up on, because for someone like me – someone who really HAS been abused by the father of her children – to hear these lies, to hear the stories from the reporting police officers and to know through those officers that no such things have happened but that the mothers involved are DEMANDING satisfaction…lemme tell you what, folks…hearing that these people are trying hard to proliferate an energy of deception on the heads of innocent people…well, that just makes me really, really angry.

It is not because of anything other than those kids who, for the very life of them, have no idea that what they are being shown are the roots of where one of their parent’s Soul really are. It is the saddest thing in the world for me to look into the eyes of a child, even the older ones, one who has seen far too many ugly things, and to know what that child has gone through, and to know that it can never be undone and that the only thing that can make it better is that kid knowing that there are adults on this planet who can be trusted not to hurt them or manipulate them for same said adult’s ego’s needs and wants.

The planted seed of winning at any cost…even if you have to lie about it…

Yes…I am on a tangent these days, and it all points toward the collective energy of people – namely the children in our midst- who have been made to withstand the rigors of being the prize in the eyes of some people. Some people have no intention of being good to the other parent of their own kids, and this is wrong, and is wrong because there are always two parents involved in the proliferation of human life. I know – there are a LOT of parents who deserve what they are going through, and those are not the ones who I am writing about, and more, the ones who I am writing about know EXACTLY who they are…and yeah, guys…it is not cool to mess with your kids so that the other parent can hurt because you hurt. Get the hell over it already, because there is a big giant world out there waiting for us all and if you continue to fuck with this other person, the Mother Goddess WILL have Her way with you. (This is the absolute truth. Think about it. Karma doesn’t see anything other than the Soul debts created by YOU!)

And hell yes – I am talking to ALL those moms out there, the ones who I have described in this writing, and the ones who are so down on themselves and are down on themselves because of one thing – they cannot take back all of the shit they gave to one other person, and rather than just letting things go, rather than allowing themselves a second chance at whatever it is that they want to believe that they have lost, they continue the ridiculousness that is the constant grind of making the other parent’s life a living hell.

I am here to tell you all, right now, that the reality is that the other person who helped you bring those kids into this lifetime …that is all and only what your purpose was with that person. I know this. I am living this right now. There is nothing more maddening than feeling like you have to change the way that anyone at all else feels about you. Again, I know this monkey, and it is a monkey which took me about two and a half decades to release back into the wild. It is not mine to carry, the burden which was his that told him he needed to parent another adult, and the burden which is now, when this person who helped me bring these kids into this lifetime and his opinion of me no longer matter to me. They no longer matter to me because I found out both the truth of him, and more importantly, of myself. 

And it is this energy that is power, that is the strength, not only of the Mother, but also that of the Mother Goddess which is alive and well within every human female being on the planet, and the sad part is that there are a whole LOT of women on this planet who talk a good game about being a goddess like being, but who, for the life of them, have no clue what that is all about.

You see, goddesses don’t need human approval, and once it is that you can see yourself, ladies (and men, as gods, that is) as goddesses who have been sent to this lifetime to perform just ONE important act (in my case it was three…and yes, haha…all three are what I refer to as being “tequila babies”…let it go…that was not a bad thing to write lol) with one other person (which is the perpetuation of life through these children who we are meant to teach the RIGHT things) with this one other person who, in some cases, were ONLY intended for that one thing (to undo what was done to us through bringing into this world and through our teaching these kids a different way to believe things and do things and LIVE…duh).

When we hang on and it hurts, this is called a lesson in letting go, but when we hang on and we hurt the other person, this is what is called creating your own karma debt, lesson included in that energy, and there is NOTHING that any one of us can do to undo this energy other than GO THROUGH  IT and the more that we refuse to go through it, and the more that we put other people through this same energy that we have created for ourselves, the more likely it is that our own kids will have to undo this for themselves, and all because we could just NOT let go of our own anger, an anger which will seethe and eat at you for the rest of your human life.

I Promise.

And in reality, where it is that anyone who is this …derelict in their own personal nature and energy, you are not hurting anyone, at least not permanently, with your bullshit. What you are really doing is merely making that other person RIGHT.

Yup…think about that for a moment, and think about how weak willed you have been, and think about how much you have hurt anyone else at all, and then go and take a look in the mirror at yourselves, because the reality is that it was YOU who made you what you are at this moment, which, I am thinking, is nothing short of in possession of the ugliest soul ever, and all because you needed to not feel like such a god-damned loser all the time. No one made you stay in that energy, but you made it a project of yours to create this work of ugliness (because most lives, to me, are works of art…unless you continue to do as the Rolling Stones said and chose to Paint it Black…) 

Whatever it is that you, me, we set out to do in this lifetime that affects the lives of others, we will end up with. This is the reason that I tell EVERYONE who, in Spiritual conversation, comes to me with their inquiries, the reason it is so very important to let go of things and of people who we think owe us anything. You will never change them. That is theirs alone to do. You will never win because that is not what life is about. You will never see changes that you are not willing to go through the pain to enact, and you will always feel like you are not worthy of anything that your Ego tells you to take the shortcut toward having.


The only way to see your own sorry life as different, if ,in fact, you feel your life is as sorry as the collective energy is telling me that you are feeling it is, is to STOP blaming everyone else who you believe hurt you (and who may have but how long ago was it again that this happened? Yeah…shut up and get over it) and start actively seeking the healing that is yours and is your own personal responsibility, to your Soul, the Kuleana which you have created.

And shit yeah – STOP USING ABUSE AS YOUR EXCUSE IF YOU KNOW IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! When you do that, you piss people off…and not all people are going to be afraid of what you THINK you can do. I am oft challenged by people who want to tell me that I am wrong, and the only thing that I can think to tell them in return is simple…

We can test that theory if you like, but, you may end up walking away anything BUT the victor in a battle of wits that a lot of people are not prepared for. Yeah…I said it, deal with it.

Stop putting people on the Cross that is yours to bear.

Eventually, people read the rest of the crucifixion story and find out that Christ rose again in three days time.

You can’t rise again if you are too busy bearing a cross that was way too heavy a very long time ago…seriously, just let it all go and find out that you were never meant to be what you are now and that you have been who has kept on keeping up this madness which you, alone, also, have created.

Be Empowered by your creative nature, not weak willed and directed alone by your Ego…



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These photos can be seen (without the writing) by going to RandyJayBraun.com and visiting the “Women of Hula” page



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