Seems that there is a whole lot happening in our lives right now. Lots of things and ways of being – even people – are being removed from our lives. We are collectively in an energy of loss, but even as we have all lost so very much, the one thing that never needs to be lost is having Respect…yes, with a capital “R”
It is with great pleasure that today I am writing, once again, about a subject that, in my opinion, is something that truly and actually NEEDS to be taught. Indeed, that one thing that I am writing about is Respect (with a capital “R”).
When I was a kid, I recall the adults in my life having a favorite phrase that I know they also heard when they were kids, and that phrase is “I COMMAND RESPECT.” Well, let me allow you this much – we all do, but, the thing is, commanding is like demanding, with the latter of the two being less…demeaning…to the person or people who anyone who would do either of these things.
I get it – when it comes to our kids, we have to “command” this Respect out of them when they are very young, and the way that we are supposed to and should be doing that is through showing these tiny little heathens the respect that we are commanding. The reason that I am writing about this particular thing, again, for probably the millionth time is because, in short, when you have to give respect where none has been given in equal measure, it is no longer a thing about having a mutual respect, but more and only about someone expecting any one of us getting what they feel they are due, simply because they happen to hold a power position in the lives of others. The worst offenders of this uneven energy are indeed parents. (Yup… I said it so eat it all up and freakin’ deal with it, guys….I gots me a big ol’ thing to write today….go get yourself a drink and whatever else you’re gonna need)
What are you teaching others about this energy called Respect?
I have written a lot about this, because the truth is that where I come from in terms of people, it is nothing for the “adults” in the lives of children to expect to get from those children the thing that they should get, but do so without returning it. I wonder what it is that compels any human person to think that they are due something that they themselves refuse to give? It might be that these people have respect confused with bullying others into fearing them and gaining respect that way. Way to go, douche-bag – and welcome to the world where in reality, what you send out in terms of energy is what you will get back, no matter what.
If you are not sending out that energy of respect, a respect that is true, that is real, the people who you are commanding it from are going to be on to you, and while you might have the upper hand right now, wait…WAIT til it comes to the point where they have had enough of your garbage and the tables turn on you. I am not saying that they are going do to you what you have done to them. What I am saying is that, eventually, you will push people out of your life, because you do not know what the hell respect is for real.
And then…you expect the people who you hurt the most to want to stick around and be there for you. I have news for you – it is probably not going to happen. You might have been able to bully them into believing things that you wanted to believe yourself, but the bottom line is that the more that you continue to chip away at what Stephen R. Covey stated in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, as being an “emotional bank account” that, at the end of it all, is in the red where this is concerned regarding respect.
And really, Mr. Covey was right – it is true that if a person will continue to do the things that causes another person or people to be repulsed and repelled by them, there is a guarantee that somewhere along the way to that place where there is no love left, at least the sort that makes people want to be around a person, there was a very dear and severe lack of true respect.
Respect is NOT something that we can buy, and if what anyone will do in the manner of paying with tangible means (i.e. buying nice things for people who you know dislike you just so that they will like you and other quite douche-bag like things) for the “respect” of others, this is not respect – this is what is called buying people. If you have to buy the respect of others, have to barter things and have to impress people with tangible means, and in reality you know that these people, given the fact that you probably were capping on them all the time, have very little respect for you. If you are the kind of person who has to barter things and money and essentially are the person who lives from the ego instead of the soul, you need dearly to check yourself before you further wreck yourself.
You see, people do not like being lied to, do not like being taken for a fool, do not like being belittled, do not like paying for someone else’s old sins from the past over and over again until you, the one who needs to command respect, finally wear them down to the point where when they see you coming, they turn tail and head the other direction away from you, it is not the others who need to deal with things of a personal and internal soul matter. What you seek from others you must have within you and for you. This is not new. This is something that has a lot to do with the energies that combine and bring out who you truly are through outer means that are outside of your control. And in reality, you are what is that thing called a control freak.
You do not need to control people to have their respect – all you need to do is show some true respect for others and that energy will be given back to you. Try it and see for yourself. There is no need for bravado, because that is just another form of disrespect called arrogance. There is no need for name calling, because what you are emitting in terms of energy is your own feelings about yourself in some manner. What is needed is the paring down of your own self to get to the core of who you are and finding out what it is within you that is making you so very dearly repulsive to others. Have you ever noticed that? The next time that you are at a party…doesn’t matter if it is a company party or a family party – take a few moments to observe everyone’s body language and notice their mannerisms. There is nothing that hides an arrogant fool, just exactly like there is nothing that can hide the light that shines through a person and out to the people who they are with.
Respect is not something that should not be present upon meetings between strangers. The respect begins to be lost when said strangers start to size each other up and begin to take what the other person is saying as somehow being demeaning to them. Sometimes, it is totally demeaning and make no mistake – there are a lot of people who we share the air with who lack the sense in themselves enough to NOT behave in the manner that is boorish, that is needing all the attention from the rest of the planet, and when we come across a bully we are most assuredly encountering the energy that is disrespect.
There are no two ways about this. You either have respect for strangers, so as to exude that energy, thereby bringing it back to you, or you don’t, and you end up bringing the energy back to you as well.
If it is that you are finding yourself at odds with people, it is a good bet that you have likely shown little or no respect for them, and you end up behaving in the manner that is equivalent to a giant two year old, tantrum, foul demeanor, and everything else that it comes with. This is the thing that, for whatever reason there is, still seems so present in our lives, even as there is no reason for it at all. There is no reason for us to play “eye for an eye,” because we no longer live in the times of old. There is no need for us to think that what we have to do is command anything from anyone else. There is no need for anyone’s ego to take over and wreck things any more than they are already. This is the thing about not having respect for people – again, it is the energy and NOT the words coming out of someone’s mouth that others are sensing.
A lack of respect also denotes a real lack of integrity. When we lie to people to save their feelings, we are not respecting that maybe they were learning a soul lesson and that maybe they needed to learn the lesson at hand. When we pretend to have love for another person and that love is based on a the “servant-master” dynamic, that is not respect…it is ownership. When we are more willing to just get our way without regard to how anyone else feels about a thing or two, we are not doing what is the highest best for anyone, but namely for ourselves.
When it is that we find ourselves all alone, both outwardly and inwardly, we need to stop and ask ourselves what it is that we can do to remedy that. There is a giant in difference between being alone and being lonely. If we are lonely we need to ask why we feel that way and realize that perhaps, at some point in our lives, we took everything that was good, if indeed it could be called that, and somehow banished all of it to the wasteland called “someone else’s fault but not mine.” This is not to say that some folks are very lonely because they really want to be with people but are shy. I am talking about those types of people who run their mouths, do horrid things to others, and expect that they will still have the love of these people. It does not work that way. At all.
You see….wherever respect is concerned, there too is also Love concerned. Without a proper love of the self, one cannot love anyone else. It is impossible to know real love if you do not love you, much as it is impossible to respect one’s own self if you do not have respect for yourself. It is not our place to judge anyone else for their actions, but rather and only our place to make sure that both our words and actions have the energy that is of the highest integrity, because that is where the truth of respect for one’s own self is found.
Basically, those who show little respect for others, who care nothing about how others feel, about what affects anyone else, in the manner that is hurtful, really have a problem with self-respect, because really…who we are is reflected in the company that we keep.
…and if no one is around, what is that telling you, let alone the rest of the world?
I Love You All