Tag Archives: Pisces

The Opposite Way

1_The Opposite Way_ManaOBlog_Yin_Yang_Pisces Oct 2 2015

When things seem as though they are one way and no way else, it may well be time to think in the Opposite Way.

Because of my Taurean moon, there are not a lot of things that, once it is that I have decided that the things that I need to happen absolutely need to happen, and once it is that I am solid on that choice, given all of the ways that I am able to discern an outcome, or possible outcome, that will not only benefit me but those who are closest to me, it is difficult to get me to change my mind.

Now, this is not saying that I am stuck to a decision and will not consider other things to do. It is saying that there are times when we know that what we want to see and what we need to see are the same thing, and we know that what we are sensing and seeing there as the outcome (or possible outcome among many other good, or even better outcomes) will be the actual outcome (or better…can’t for get that it can be better than what we are thinking), most of us humans being will end up sticking to that one way of Knowing, that one way of getting to the end result that we want, even if we have to manipulate things to go that way. Yet, manipulating things to go the way that we want them to go versus the way that they need to go is where we each and all get ourselves tripped up.

We are so making things harder for ourselves when we attach ourselves to a particular manner of doing things that we do not realize that we are getting in our own way. Some of us, like me, don’t care about it if we get in our own way, because some of us, no matter what anyone else thinks or wants to believe, need to “get in our own way” because doing so is part of our process. This is not the thing that too many other people want to believe as being the truth. I wouldn’t believe it either if, over the years, I did not “get in my own way,” most assuredly, I would have made a wait that was already making me go out of my mind make me go that much more out of my mind. There are so many different ways of being, and so many different manners by which we each and all singularly go about doing the things that we do, and there are so many people who want us to do things the way that was successful for them, that we become muddled with too many options. Having too many options is not a good thing all the time, namely when those options are ones whose only outcome is not that great.

The Opposite Way is the way that we have never been taught about. The opposite way goes against the grain of all that the general population does not want to accept as being viable and doable even as it is not the same as everyone else. That is where the confusion sets in for us all. On one side, doing something a certain way has worked for a number of people, and when it doesn’t work for us, we start thinking that somehow, Spirit hates us and wants to use us as a good example of a bad example. This is not the truth. What Spirit really is telling you is that you have a much different way about things, and that includes the way that you manifest things into your life. When that happens, it is not that Spirit hates you, it is that Spirit is stretching you.

When Spirit stretches you things are not easy in our lives, and when things are not easy in our lives, we tend to become just human rather than souls as humans. This is not something that we are not supposed to do. It is something that we do not want to do or like knowing about. We have no other manner by which to be other than to be flesh and blood. As flesh and blood we are meant to come up with different ways of being so as to accommodate the ways that we are not being or perhaps cannot be. This is when we do not realize that it is our prompting to go ahead and think outside of the box, and as humans we are not good at doing this, at least a whole lot of us.

I mentioned that my Lunar sign is Taurus. Simply put, if you know a Taurus, then you know that they are stubborn as hell, and this is as much the truth when the Moon in a person’s chart is in the sign of the bull or in any sign that is fixed. Yet, this is not a writing about astrological tendencies, but about human tendencies to not want to change the way that a whole lot of us does anything at all. It is about how we can recognize what our options are in spite of ourselves.

In recognizing what are our options, there other things that we need to see there that are not optional for everyone, including their right to do things in their own way

There is now and always will be one trait that is very particular to me – I dislike, very much, being told what to do. I am like this because my whole life I have been told what to do and actually took the advice of other people, and more, their words of challenge which did me more damage than good. When I was or am told what to do and followed another’s way of doing things, those things did not and typically do not turn out the way that the other person told me that they would. The let down is not for them, but for me. I am sure they meant well, but the bottom line is that we are not able to do things the way that other people do, and sometimes we do things in the opposite way.

Then there are times when we want to not let other people down and we take their advice against our better knowing. The only one who ends up with a big mess, usually, is us, because really, we cannot do things the way that other people do, at all. We might be able to mimic their actions, but what matters is not that we can mimic. What matters is that we understand, and sometimes when someone else is trying to get us to understand their way it causes us to have these feelings within us that somehow, they think we are not good enough or smart enough, NOT to get ourselves out of a jam, but, use our own way of doing things, even if how we do those things is the very opposite of the way they or anyone or even everyone else does stuff.

This is a very hard thing for us humans being to grasp, whether we are the person giving the advice or opinion or the person on the other side of it, and for the life of us, we cannot help ourselves but to try hard to take the advice, even when we know the energy doesn’t fit.

We try to do things the way that someone else tells us that we ought to because all humans like to think that if it worked for someone else, it will work for anyone. Yet, what they or we are not thinking about in terms of the outcome is that not everyone’s outcome is going to be the same. This is not because of more than the fact that we are all very different and in being so, we are all going to have different outcomes, even when those very outcomes have similarities to the outcomes of others. Sometimes, the outcome is the very polar opposite. This is not something, again, that we think about when thinking in terms of the emotional self and where all of the emotional pain resides within us. When we are taking the advice of other people, we are not thinking about things in terms of the damage that could happen if we don’t also depend on our own devices. We are only thinking about getting through whatever it is that we are getting through fast. Then there is the other side of that, the side that tells us that we don’t want to let anyone down, and since it is that we asked their advice, we don’t want to have wasted their time (never mind that what might have worked for us might not work as well for someone else – it’s that whole…sun sign and who we are thing that doesn’t allow us to successfully do things the way that others have …please …keep reading…). Instead, because we have been trained so well to take directives, we take their advice, because we don’t want to hurt them, and in turn we end up hurting ourselves and ultimately putting it further away, the outcome that we know is on its way.

You have heard it a buncha times in the past – how we get there is not ours to deal with, but that of Spirit’s

Humans being…we don’t like being out of control, and we will go to great lengths to control other people. It is the reason that I am constantly “on guard” with my own self in terms of other people, because I do not want anyone else thinking that I am trying to control or to manipulate who they are or what they do so as to better serve me. There are, however, a whole lot of people on this planet who still believe that they are able and even due the very right to do this and do so (or at least I have been told) that it is for “our own good.” What I really want to know is how it is that another human being is going to tell anyone else what they ought to do if their own life is not what they envision as their future. While my methods these days of doing anything are truly not the most conventional way of doing things, where it is in my life that I am concerned (Read:EVERYWHERE) and which require me to do what I need to do for me so that those who share my life with me won’t stay stuck to the idea that I can become quite a bitch if you give me reason, the bottom line is that I am who is meant to guide my life, and this gives me the right to do things my way.

Sometimes…okay almost all the time…because of who I am and what I do in this lifetime OTHER than go to school, I cannot, and neither will I ever, do things the way that anyone else does them, and unless I ask someone for their opinion, rarely these days will I give a shit about it if the way that I do anything regarding me somehow bothers anyone else at all. Why? Because they are not living in my shell of a body, and they have not experienced in total or in depth the things that I have. That is not something that I can change and not something that anymore now that I am willing to change so that someone…anyone…else will be comfortable about how they feel about my “things” in life. I get it…it is out of concern, and that is fine, but the concern needs to arise from other things, like having witnessed something actually happen to me because of the way that I think and the way that I do what I do.

There is no one else on this planet who can do for the each of us what it is that the each of us can do for ourselves. I mean, yes, the people who give us advice do love us, and the more that we are able to see this, the more that we will know this. What I am talking about is that, there are folks we share the air with who cannot come away from the idea that they have all the right answers. The worst part about our not taking their advice is that when we don’t, they want to tell us that things will never work out to our favor, because we didn’t do things their way. And really, who is anyone at all to tell another person that the way they are handling anything at all is wrong if it is not done the way that they…the others…have instructed and directed us to do, as though we are dependent upon their outcome.There are even people who give advice solely for the purpose of having been right and patting themselves on the back for “saving” someone else.

I can’t do that. I am sure that in the past I have done that, but these days, I don’t give advice – I advise, and that is a different thing all together.

I advise others that they don’t have to do things the way that the rest of the world does things – they can do things the opposite way, which is not always the exact opposite way, but rather and only the way that is not everyone else’s way.  Think about that one for a moment. Wrap your head around it and see it for what it is – because what it is is the truth.

The Opposite Way

I am a Pisces. It is a sign which lives by its dual nature, and those who know me personally also know, for real, that I live up to that energy of duality. There is no one else in their lives who, like me, will delve into every possibility of outcome, just to make sure that whoever it is that I am talking to has more than only one thing to choose as what it is that they want to direct their energies toward manifesting. I am not one to be held back in terms of thought process, in terms of how it is that I care to do things in the manner that I do them.

There are a few people in my life who I probably drive crazy based on this one thing alone. There are people who know me well enough to know that I might ask their opinion, for their assistance, but never their advice…unless it is something legal, then it is advice. Anyway, there are few people whose advice, lately, I will take. Sure…I will convene minds with other water signs, because they are like I am, but for the most part, when I am advised, you can bet that from all of those people and all of the piece of advice they give me, I am making sort of an “outcome salad” with it, in that I have been offered the pieces to this puzzle called “The outcome,” and because of my duality, really, there is not another sign on this planet other than a dual sign who can effectively make shit happen when shit is done in the opposite way.

I am, by and large, a nontraditionalist. I cannot, by my very own personal energy signature, do things in the most conventional manner. I am, like any other water sign, highly artistically creative, and this does not only mean in the actual manner – it means in every manner. There is not a person alive who knows me who does not know this about me. I have real issues with people who tell me that being this way is wrong. Note that I did not state that I have problems with people who are traditionalists…I have a huge issue with people not accepting that I am not the same kind of traditionalist, and as such, at least in their opinions, I do things “ass backward.” A person can tell anyone at all that they are doing things “ass backwards,” but the bottom line is that it is not that way at all, but rather and only a way that is not the way that has worked for everyone else.

Being that I am like this – that I will come up with a lot of different ways to come up with one good solution to try, one after another – means that everything that I do will be done in the most “me” way that it can be done, and from my own experience of walking around in this body for forty five years what I can state as being absolutely the truth is that I do things in the very most opposite way that most people do things. Yes, it very dearly irritates some of the most wonderful people in my life, makes them want to steer clear of me and that is okay – I cannot be this way and not allow the acceptance that others are also this way. However, there is the fine line drawn at the idea that doing things one’s own way, namely when it is the opposite way, is doing things the wrong way.

It is not wrong to be who you are. (Unless if who you are hurts other people, then you might not be wrong but you surely need to get some help) It is wrong to impose your way onto others. Sometimes people are going to do things their way. It means that they, like you, might not be able to be told what to do and more, they may well not appreciate the idea that you think you have all the answers. I was this person, the one with all the answers. Then one day, I didn’t have any answers, not even for myself. It was the realization that no one way of coming to any conclusion is going to be the only right way. It taught me that we are not required to think along the lines that the rest of the world does – we only have to think our way and do things our way and not everyone else’s.

It bothers some people that people in general will not always take their advice. It bothers people that not everyone will follow their lead and sometimes, we don’t need to be a leader, we don’t need to follow, we just need to be and to trust our damned selves to do the right thing, even if the right thing is the opposite way.

Doing things the opposite way doesn’t mean you are doing them the wrong way. It means that you are secure enough in yourself in doing things your way, which very well might be the opposite way from what everyone else does them. There is nothing wrong with that.

In fact, thinking in our own way and for our own selves is not the wrong way at all…

…it is indeed the opposite way and the way of the Soul…

I Love You All


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The Days Which Leave Us Aching

I know that I am not only speaking for myself when I say that lately, the days and nights have seemingly melted into the miry abyss that is “Awwww F*CK! AGAIN?!!!” … Yes…again…


I don’t know about any of you who are reading this, but I am about as tired as a person can get, and it is not just any level of tired, but a tiredness that is deep, a tiredness that makes a person ache for better days, wanting for nights which end peacefully, and most of all, the start of the second half of each of our lives, and naturally, the second half which includes all the new people in it that we each have called into our lives and who each have a place there.   There are people who, for years, were not there, but are back and there now, and like the new ones, we know they are permanent.

And really…no bullshit…it is quite nice.

Think about it for a minute, and you will realize that, even though (yep…I’m just going to say it) collectively, life seems to be daily taking a large, nasty crap on the whole of us, it has bonded us to one another. Each of us has this new breath of life in some manner, everyday. It is that one thing, no matter what it is for the each of us, that keeps us going. No, really, again…think about it, and you will figure it all out – things suck ass right now, even though, paradoxically, they sort of rule.

Sorta ruling is better than completely sucking

It is not that easy to try to get anyone to change their thinking habits. Thoughts are habits, really, and the manner in which we think them is also physically a habit. Some of us sit to think, and many of us, when we are in a solitary moment of brainstorming our lives in conjunction with the Goddess’ plan for them, pace.

I pace.

I pace, because I know that brainstorming one’s own life is not only delicate work, but tedious, and really, it is downright dirty work. And not the kind that you need soap for, but the sort you need to have strength of soul for, seriously. At this time there are a lot of people in my life, people who are very, very close to me, with whom I have shared a lot of time, spoken a lot of words, shared much laughter, and all of it is meant in order for me to get to this point where I actually DO know who I can trust.

This is the dirtywork I am talking about, and it is dirty because right now, we have what I have always called a “balance of extremes.” If you thought about it long enough, and let your brain stew about it all, and could, from a third party state of mind, take a very scrutinizing and painful look at what it is that we have each and all been hiding, not only from others, but from ourselves, we would realize that we are each and all hiding about what we are hiding.

That is what all of this is about right now. Take, for example, my tenth house. It is ruled by the moon in my chart, which is in Taurus. Taurus is the CEO of the Zodiac. And Taurus behaves like it – no lie. So, because of this, it is almost like me to wade through the hallways of my own mind, and in the water of my own thoughts, about how many times I really, dearly tried to work for someone, in contrast to my working WITH someone else, and it was always when I worked WITH someone else that I got the best results.

I know this about me, that I do not like being told what to do unless I ask for help. Period. Yes. I was indeed one of those kids who always wailed “I WILL DO IT BY MYSELF!” and normally I meant it. I hate asking for help. Anyone who knows me knows this about me. I am a freedom loving person. And everything about me, even the people with whom I spend the most time, whether on the phone or in person, or both, knows this about me. I do not want anything else for them than that which I would want for me, which, is freedom, but from what?

I figured something out. It is not a “from what,” at all. It is a “for.”


The freedom to be me so that I can do FOR other people, that which I also do for myself. That is what this is all about. Meaning that, if I ask someone to help me, it is only because I know that, if it were the other way around, they know I would do what I can, even if it is a minimal thing. How this is any way at all tied to the title of this writing is coming…I promise…the reason that I have used this as my example is because, in the company called “ROX, Inc.,” I am every employee. They way that I treat my employees is the way that I hope to be treated in return. There are several of them who could fine tune their skills, and there are a few who need some serious help, and there are those who are bad asses and they know they are, and then, there is the person in charge.

And right now, the person in charge is going through the employee files and seeing which one of her people needs to brush up, needs to clean up, needs to shut the fuck up, and which ones whose time is up…and really, guys, it is down and dirty dirty work. For reals.  It is not easy in real life to tell people that they are not doing what they know they are supposed to, and eventually, we have to excuse them from our lives. Most of the time, it is people who have been there at a constant, getting away with less than attractive qualities about themselves, expecting that they should continue to get away with treating anyone else in a manner which would be unacceptable to themselves.

The hard part of cleaning of the things in our own personal “Inc” is that, what we are looking at with people who are physically in our lives and who we know no longer belong there is a piece, a mirror of ourselves, and what they are showing us is that, whatever it is that is bothering us that is alive in them is also alive in us. The people who we cannot stand the most, I am finding out, are the people who have qualities in them that makes us feel a certain way about ourselves and this continues to happen until we go through our “employee files” and go through them with a fine tooth comb and one by one, promote, or fire, those who warrant those actions. It is through these assholes in our lives that we find the inner employees who need to eitehr shape up, or get the hell gone. In my case…there are a lot of my inner employees who have been pink-slipped, permanently.

And it was not an easy thing to do, letting them go, but I had to. If I hadn’t, I might not be where I am now, which is a LOT better than where I last was.

Seriously…I have been asked…what is the thing that this …firing…of pieces of ourselves do for us?

Here, let me tell you a story….actually, it is an observation that, over time, became something that I just really began to study, literally, in every way possible that I could. I began to make a study of peoples’ habits and what I found out is that our habits are a response to theirs. This includes our personal energetic responses.

When someone does or says something that bothers us, we immediately have a bodily response. Normally, our gut will tell us. When there’s a knot the answer is “NO.” The only way to make the knot from the NOT go away is to rethink the word…like this…and yes, it took me a while to learn to do it.

But I did it. I’m still doing it.

When it was that I knew I was being baited for at least a pain in the ass argument with anyone, instead of buying into their bullshit, I allowed them their moment. I stayed silent. It took me a long time to respond (by not responding), and a long time to really listen to this person and realize that for years, I had been defending myself for nothing, because all of the things that this madman was saying to me was meant to hurt me. It took me time to no longer have an emotional response. I realized, this week even, that all these years, I had been, through my own defending myself against the ridiculous lies that were hitting me in the ears all the time, validating a madman.

The madwoman in me chose to no longer allow the madman in. Because the madwoman is good on her own, and really has, instead of choosing to entertain madmen, chosen to cozy up to her own truth. My own truth was that I knew I hadn’t been treated well, because when I saw others being treated in that same way it made me really, really mad. To the point where I would react, very poorly. The day I caught it was probably the most freeing day I ever had, because I saw what I thought I had been hiding behind NOT hiding it.

I don’t do bravado, but on that day, I found out that I do catty really, really well, and I did not like it. It was not needed. I find that I like me way more when I choose brainy. Brainy gets it done correctly every time these days. Where once I was a very impatient pain in the ass, I find it to be a far more  savory experience, not only knowing that I can control myself, a LOT better these days, but that, catty comes in handy here, where it is that now, I do not have to respond to any asshole human beings. My response is just really to have no response. And like an actual cat who ignores its human, I assume, and somehow enjoys it, it is quite the experience to watch someone who is planning on you losing it, lose it.

It took me a long time to learn to do this. It took me a long time to decide that this person who chose to hurt me when they could just have NOT, did so, and it was not until I chose to no longer let the madman in that I realized I could clean house, so to speak. I could choose NOT to emotionally feel my way through all of the things that my Piscean brain conjures within itself. Instead, when it is that I need to knock my own shit off, I lean on the bull, on the Taurean moon, on the part of me that emotionally, even being a Pisces, I am able to deal with things.

Lots of things, I found out.

The pressure is on, guys

The pressure is on for us all to do whatever it is that we have to do in order to be our best, highest selves. This means that through this energy, we find that there are a LOT of things that we do that we do not need to do, and likely no longer need that energy in our lives.  Reread that – there are habits that we perform that we are not aware that we are performing that, for the life of us, we cannot seem to let go of. We each have habits that we have, that annoy the hell out of us, but we believe we are helpless to do anything about.

The truth is, though, that we are not helpless, at least not when it comes to our own habits. We created the habits, and yes, we might have had some help from other people in the creation of those habits, but none the less we are who is responsible for them, including and even and especially the breaking or changing of those habits.

This is what I mean by the pressure is on us to do something, anything, to make the “ugh” of the current moment not so “ugh.”

We don’t realize that we are who makes our own lives somewhat difficult, and it is not for a lot else more than the way that we react, rather than respond, to certain situations in our lives. I am not suggesting at all that the things that,in our lives, do not warrant our having the reactions that we do, do not have the energy and neither the potential to make us nutty from the inside out. I am suggesting, though, that there are a lot of different, creative ways that we can look at the things that are making us crazy with frustration, with fear, with all the things that we need to look at, but are thinking we are helpless to do a thing about them all, and that once it is that we have created another, new habit, we find out that we were fearful for reasons other than the obvious ones.

We do not have control over other people. We have control over ourselves, and in that control we have the power to do, or not do, something about anything at all.

It isn’t easy not handling things the way that we always have. It isn’t easy trying to look at them all and not see the pile of shit there that needs us to do something about it. It is easy, though, to step ahead of our reaction, think about why we are reacting, and easy to practice responding to it all.

Sometimes we do not realize that a change in our outer circumstances is the heads up that we need from the Universe telling us that it is our turn…

…sometimes, it is the pressure that we feel from the way that we have always reacted to anything that is what needs to be changed rather than the outer circumstances.

It rarely, if ever, is anything outside of us that is bothering us. It usually, if not always, is how we feel and emote about what is happening that needs to be different…



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Cutting Cords

I could sit until I am blue in the face and say that the things that we are attached to are also attached to us…no matter what those things are. We have the option to free ourselves from the ties that bind us to the unreality in our heads, and it is an unreality which lends to the energies of our actual reality, which normally turns things on the inside of us…well…not so great!


I have a deal to make with you all…let’s all, every one of us, practice cutting the ties that bind us to things, people and the unreality that we all have living and breathing within us. I know I know…hard to stop being who you have been for so long and try on the new you. I get it. I have a hard time, too. Yet, the thing that I am writing about is so not what you think it is. This is not a pep talk – I tend to not give those these days, for the simple fact that humans, by and large, like solutions, all of us, and sometimes, those solutions we cannot think of are directly tied to the things that we are willing to believe, if for no other reason than that those things are what we have always believed.

If there is anything a Pisces knows, it is all about belief, of any kind, but mostly the kind that remind us that we are not the only game in town, that we are not the best thing on two legs, at least not for the whole world, that is, and most of all, we believe in what we believe in, even if it is a fat guy who shimmies down the chimney once a year to leave stuff under a tree that should have been left in the wild to be what it was meant to be and not … literally dead in the water.

Our beliefs – no, not the sort that tell us we will or will not go to hell, will or will not be reincarnated, not those kinds of beliefs – are the things that plague us for the entirety of our lifetimes unless and until someone else comes along and tells us that indeed, there is something that we can do about the things that break our concentration, that make us want for better days, that make us think things that we know we ought not think. When we are talking about truth, we are also talking about the beliefs that we took on in another time in life, or perhaps are things that are still being actively said to us, or perhaps were things that we were witness to that we never really bothered to question. I know well the idea that all it takes for anyone to have a big fat mess in life is for us to think that we will not ever be able to get out of the messes that we have found ourselves in, regardless if whether or not it was someone else who does not know us at all brought the thought, or the reality that makes old beliefs materialize, to our awareness.

What no one ever tells us, because really, not a lot of people understand the importance of our own symbolism, is that EVERYTHING in our awareness is meant to show us, not only what we are made of, not only what we are worthy of, not only the things that we know are good and there for us and meant only for us, but more, our awareness also shows us the things that are no longer needed in our lives.  There are things in each of our lives which, until we have learned what we need to from it all, we will not be rid of. This tells us that all of our situations, be they good or other than good, are temporary. This tells us that what we have at our disposal is not only the issues, but also the way that we choose to see, or to no longer see them. There is also there the energy that is feeling like we are somehow so tied to someone or something that the fear inside of us takes hold, we panic, and then, suddenly the things that we were able to face and to deal with become these …monsters…the very ones which have followed us around for a long time, perhaps even from the time that we were children, where said fears of abandonment, of insecurity, of things that make us so very afraid of life, that we begin to think thoughts that we would rather not, that we know are so not the truth of us.

When it is that these things become dearly entrenched into our ways and means of being, and when it is that these thoughts become the very things which tell us that we are not going to be able to do something, or that we are not going to be able to be something, or that, in any manner at all, we are not – this is when it is time to ‘auhea wale ana ‘oe and pay attention. We need to pay attention to the things in our awareness and how those things consume us until something else comes along to add to the things or perhaps one thing that seems to be more looming and dooming than is much else.

When it comes to that point, and we want to break free from those things, very simply, perhaps too much so….it is just time to begin to cut cords.

Why the proverbial cutting of cords is very important

A few years ago I was introduced to one of the strangest things that I had ever heard of and that I eventually integrated into the teaching that I do with others, and that thing is called “Cord Cutting.” It was introduced to me by more than one teacher, and employed by another person who, at that time, while she might not have been in her right mind, what she did give to me was one of the most powerful tools that any one metaphysical teacher could have in their reach and at their disposal. That one thing is called cord cutting. I will not lie and say that it is easy, because when I was first taught this technique, I had a hard time thinking that what was happening, because of the energies of my wanting to let go of things and ways of being was directly related to why it was such an important thing for me to learn. While I won’t tell anyone that I was anywhere at all near where it was that I needed to be in learning this, it was not long before I was cutting cords all the time, and at that time, I couldn’t see past what it was that my Soul was showing me because my ego was still hanging on to the things that hurt me so badly. I had a very hard time with letting go of anger, of hurt feelings, of anything that was beneficial for me and the thing that, at this point, I know I was to Become.

And more than that, in speaking in terms of energy, when we are loaning who and what we are to our fears, we are taking away our life force and handing it over to things and ways of being which no longer serve us. What we think protects us actually and only inhibits us. What keeps us safe from assumed harm actually also keeps us inhibited in our growth. What we think has helped us will always help us is doing anything but helping us, and what we end up with is a gigantic jumblefuck of confusion. This is not a mistake – it is how energy works. When we confuse our own truths and focus on things that are not there or that we are not truly aware of, and we have not yet figured out what our own symbolism is all about is also when we will react and not respond. Life requires that we respond, but human nature is about the reactive nature that is the biological need for survival on all levels. Not one of us wants to “put ourselves out there” exposed for the elemental climes of turmoil, but turmoil is part of life, and while it sucks horribly, it is also something that teaches us that we are proverbial rock stars made of the stars, that what is in front of us is nothing compared to the beauty which awaits us if we are willing to look at what we are faced with right this moment in another manner.

If we can see things for what they are right this moment, and can think, too, with possibilities being masked as our having no choice, and can see what are our opportunities for stretching and becoming what and who we are meant to become, we can also see where it is that we are corded, in some cases, by our own choosing, to the things which have no more use for us. For some folks this is hard to do, because most folks, when we find a use for things, we keep them. I do it. I know other people who also do it, and all of us know if whether or not, at the moment we think that thought, if we will be using that particular thing any time at all in the future. It is in the “maybe” we will be able to use those things, real or intangible, when we have caused ourselves the imbalance that we do not realize we are striving for. Yes – we strive for imbalance because inherently, as humans, we need to fix things. Sometimes, we cannot fix things, and sometimes, we have to understand the reason why what at one time what worked for us no longer works for us.

And this next thing…the unbelievable part…is the reason why things don’t work for us  – it is because globally, we are all going through this…hard bullshit… in some manner. With some it is people, others, situations and life-sustaining parts of our lives (jobs, houses, etc), some of us are releasing (and having  a hard time with it) old patterns and ways of being, and for some….NAMELY those whose lives are to be lived as light workers….it is all of this. I know the “all of this” part, because I lived through “all of this,” and in some ways more than others, I still am in the middle of this, and if I can do it, this means that there are not a whole lot of people on this planet who can’t.

No…really…keep reading…

How to know when it is time to cut cords, and more, how to cut those cords

We know when it is time to cut cords when the things that we know we have learned keep on coming back in the form of the person or the people who we were trying hard to deal well with and couldn’t. When it is that you have found your own self at peace with things that have happened, you know that it is also that the cord can be cut. This goes for anything, anyone, at any time. Again- I know this because I was taught this and taught well to use it, and this is why I also know that this totally works. The reason we stay corded to people, ways of being and situations is because we emit that energy toward it all, and that energy is bounced back to us. In this reality – hell, in any reality – everything is energy. Our thoughts are energy. When we think about bad stuff, we are presented with more bad stuff, and the lesson there is to stop thinking about only bad stuff and the possibility of only bad happening (because ultimately it will happen). You are human. You are not going to NOT think about bad stuff – we all do it…even silly, happy, rabid cheerleader me…yes…I think about bad stuff…things like people leaving my life (abandonment), and my not being good enough at what I do (but in my own tribe, I am the only one who does what I do and am quite good at it…thanks guys…I love you!). Yet, the way that things which have hurt me for so long have always been presented to me, and the way that I have been molded by my life and everything in it has caused me to look for the beauty in the excrement, for the needle in the haystack, for the monster in the closet that we have highlighted with our flashlight and that when daylight came and we opened up the closet door, we saw there that it was not a monster, but a tiny little spider.

It was the tiny little spiders in our lives, the ones that say horrible things about us and have for the entirety of our lives, and the ones that broke our hearts a million and one times for seemingly no reason other than that those people could do it and get away with it, even if only for a limited time. It was every time that someone else made you doubt yourself, your worth, who you are, that you are cherished and loved, if by anyone at all, your very self. It was everything in life that made you suffer, that made you feel like you were being treated as though somehow, you were the kid at your own birthday party who had to wait for their own birthday cake until after all the other kids got theirs, and what you were left with was a whole lot of birthday cake soup, mixed with the tears of the non-acceptance of us by others…this is what needs to go away.

These feelings have to be gone from us, because if we hang on to them, we cannot grow. If we choose to allow these fears to be what is the equivalent of the perceived monster rather than the teeny tiny little spider (and y’all KNOW how I feel about spiders…ewwwww) that it truly is, there is no doubt in my mind that you will never see what is on the other side of the ugliness, the lesson and the hurting that happens in life. Sometimes that hurting is something that seems monstrous, but in reality, the Mother Goddess NEVER gives us more than we can deal with, ever. She’s a good Mom. That’s how we good moms roll.

Very simply, the way to cut the cords of all these things which seem like they are  waiting to eat us and that live in our thoughts is to simply go within and visualize yourself actually and physically cutting those cords. You have complete control where your thoughts are concerned, complete control over the things that you believe and do not believe, complete control over everything that you see, know, want, do not want, and all of us keeps on giving our power to these things rather than getting on in there and simply, again and again, for as long and as many times as is needed, by our own means and through what is our own choosing of cutting instrument (I use a green or purple light sabre…quit laughing). The point is that, at any time at all in our lives, we are going to be met with things that just plain suck, that make us think there is simply no way out of through typical means.

It is ours to realize and believe that sometimes, our stuff will not be made to leave our lives through typical means…

…sometimes, we need to use a light sabre…

I Love You All !



Click here to be taken to my new website

We Survive

Light workers know that much of the work we do in the world deals with lots of toxic people. How we manage to navigate the tainted and torrid waters of life with these toxic people is nothing short of miraculous, because toxicity in any form can end a life. There are ways that we do this, and all of them point to survival, but the one thing we know works the best may (or may not) surprise you

I pray. That’s right. I said it. Deal with it. I pray. I pray in thanks to the Mother Goddess for having had my back all this time that I have been breathing and in this lifetime, and I have prayed to the Mother Goddess for peace and for transformation in times when I needed a change of pace and more, a change of scenery, and all the while, the one thing that I never thought about was not being able to survive all of the ugly things that were forced on me throughout the course of my lifetime.

I have said it again and again, that the thing about a person who has been someone else’s victim and what that person wants the most is simply to survive the thing that might currently be eating their life. It is true that there are people who share the air with us who will do anything at all to try to bring another person, no matter who they are, and likely many more other persons, to their proverbial knees, just because that is what they do the best.  These are the very people who cause us to have a reason to want to survive. It happens early on, when we are building trust with certain people, and while we are doing what we think we ought to do, there is always that “thing” in the back of our heads that is of a cautionary energy, that is there and in place to warn us, even as we might not heed that warning, of danger.

Of course, sometimes, those people who are toxic and who we end up spending an awful lot of time with…sometimes the reason that they do not leave and remain a part of our lives is because unbeknownst to them and to us, they are about to teach us an important lesson, and one that is a many-years long teaching, because what lies ahead for us is awesome, is magnificent, and is, in many ways, no way compatible with who we are when these very douche-baggish people end up in our lives for many, many years. I know this story, as I have lived it, and if there is one thing that I know that the people who I can do nothing about in terms of their being able to get a clue, let alone grasp onto it and learn why it is that this particular clue has come to them in the form of a life issue, it is the idea that until we learn whatever it is that these….people with ill intent…have to teach us, and until we have learned the lesson in completion, they are there and staying there in our lives until we learn.

Yet, once we do learn, there are other, better things that happen for us, and sometimes, those things, even though they do not completely make sense even as they make perfect sense, becomes the reward and more or less the diploma of graduation for us having survived it all. And how did we survive it all?

Easy….first we pined over things that could have been (been there, done that, but don’t have to do that anymore)…then, we got really, really mad at the idea that we did not see it all coming, and then it just kept coming, and soon afterwards we realized without realizing that what we have in our midst is not going anywhere, and that, no matter what, we have to do what we can to not only find our way out of such awful circumstances, but more than that, the most of us will end up doing like we always did – we dropped to our knees in fervent prayer, and started begging for mercy, begging for the other person’s karmic reward, and then one day, we grew up to the idea that we got ourselves into this, and that since we were able to help create such a situation, that we would also be able to create a way out of it.

The thing that we didn’t think about, even though we were correct, was that it was gonna take time, tears, patience, and a whole lot of other things, with one of the most important things being prayer.

Yet, while we were all children, sitting in the pews, or sitting at our auntie’s house – either way, when we were young, we were taught something very important, and that something is prayer. What we were not taught, though, was that praying to Spirit is effective, as long as those prayers are directed and embody the energy of Spirit. We were not taught this part. We were only taught that Spirit likes to hear from us, and that Spirit likes to help us, and that Spirit likes to do a lot of things on our behalf. What we were not taught was that effective prayer dictates that we must believe that the outcome has been set, that we must be able to see the outcome as being beneficial to everyone involved – yes, even the person or persons who caused our proverbial okoles to itch like we had plenty ukus, and through it all, we had to trust that our prayers not only were heard, but that they would also be effectively and ultimately answered.

This is all fine and good, but when you are in the middle of the worst hell you have ever gone through, effective prayer is something that anyone who wants to survive anything at all doesn’t think about. In fact, when shit hits the fan, it is the last thing that we are thinking about. It might seem like it is sort of cruel, or perhaps even a bit on the daunting side to think that we would be answered, because if we were really that well liked, let alone loved, by this altruistic being we cannot see, we would not have to go through whatever bullshit it is that we have been met with. When a person is in survival mode, survival really is the only thing on their mind. When a person feels like their lives are the very middle core of hell, there is not a whole lot that that person will believe in terms of some….energy…in the great big “out there” is somehow going to help us just because we need that help and want that help.

The things that visit our lives in the times when we are looking to the heavens and wondering if something bigger than us is up there and staring back at us are the things that, at one point in consciousness, we, without knowing and without being too, too detailed about it all, asked for something. Maybe we asked for a clue about patience, or maybe it was the truth of love between two people, or maybe it was work that utilized one’s own ethereal gifts, or whatever it was…when we asked, we were not clear about things. We were emotionally not able to clearly state what it was that we really wanted, and it came out as,and the intention, as well, was what it was, and what it was, at that time, and according to your own asking and intent and willingness to receive it in the manner that it was asked for – you got exactly what you asked for.

Now, it might not have been what you thought it would be, the way that the lesson was brought to you, and neither how you learned it, but the bottom line is that here you are, in the Now, and you cannot begin to see who you were back then as being anywhere near who you are now, and yes, you likely asked for it, even as you didn’t know that the way to get to where you are now, as a survivor, was meant to teach you to survive whatever it was that you went through, thereby making you stronger, quicker in thought and action, and more than anything, able to take on a lot more than you ever thought you could. While it is that the way that anyone who can call themselves a survivor might suck, will make a person cry, will make them be really, really mad at the world and usually pissed off all the time, one must admit that when any one of us looks back at where we have been and what we have accomplished, the lessons that we learned from these less-than-desirable people in our lives are priceless.

They are priceless because they were tailored by us, and we don’t know it, and because we created them, we know, too, that we can get through them, but we do not know this until after the lesson has been learned. I am reminded of the twenty year cycle that we all go through, and how it is that, after twenty years passes, in that set of years that passes, and at the onset of those years, beginning after the idea that we thought we lost anything, is when we began to craft the solution to our big giant ugly issues. We don’t realize that in the time that passes, while it might seem that there was nothing but pain and loss, the reality is that most of the time, it would hurt more to lose what we had at that time, because what we had at that time, even the people who are our teachers, was all we had and due to the nature of the lessons, were really what we needed.

The most brilliant teachers in our lives are some of the most clueless people.  They are clueless in that they fail to see that there are other people on the planet. They are clueless in that, when they see themselves as the victim and they take their victim show out into the world, they fail then, too, because they are too ready to take without reciprocating whatever energy it is that they stole from us under false pretenses. They are clueless in that, they themselves are in an ass load of pain, and in their cluelessness have failed to realize that it does not take pain that is going to last a long time to get over one’s own pain and that sharing that pain with other people rather than being able to get through it on their own…well, that is where the sucking of life from others takes on another paleness. This is when it begins, the harsh lessons. This is also when we learn to pray effectively.

When we learn to address the Mother Goddess with respect, and not with expectancy on her and entitlement on our part is when the effective nature of the belief in our own power as energetic people through the belief that we carry within us begins to shape itself. When we learn to be grateful for the ability to believe, based on the unbelievably horrible things that have brought us to our knees at one point, and then brought out our own glorious brilliance at yet another point, and we have, at that time, proof positive that we are indeed powerful as long as we are able to believe that we are at all times, and more, that we have help in the form of Spirit – this is when prayer works. It does not work when we are willing to make deals with and bargain with Spirit, because Spirit is all powerful and needs none of us to make deals with Her. It does not work when we are babbling some strangeness, in hopes that the Mother Goddess will be impressed by our rather large vocabulary, our airy-fairy voices and take our words as being the right and matching energy to our intention. It doesn’t work that way.

What does work is a sincere idea, a right intention, about the things that we know we need, things that we know can only come from a collaborative effort between ourselves and the divine that it works. It is the one time that we have got to have faith, not only that Spirit hears us, but that we are also faithful and just to receive what it is that we know we need versus what it is that we want.

Once it is that we can get our thoughts to be where they need to be and we believe that we are powerful enough and that our intentions are right enough and that everyone included in our “Dear God(dess)” thing we each have goin’ on, this is when we will see, physically with our human type eyes, the nature of effective prayer. There is not one person who can call themselves a Survivor of anything at all who does not know that this is the very truth of things, that this is the be all and the end all of the everything that has broken our hearts and made us all crazy with so many emotions that to think about things in our lives and every situation where prayer would have been the very thing that anyone needed.

Basically, if you want your prayers to work, you have to do like a Pisces and simply, without caution and without reserve, believe. You have to believe that you are being heard and that at the moment the thoughtful prayers began, that they were already answered…

I Love You All !



Like Christmas in February

There is not a whole lot more that is quite as delightful as knowing that all this time, you were right !

I won’t give anyone the reason why I feel like this. The people who need to know why I feel like this, know. (Okay, so I gotta tell April why but that is neither here nor there). I thought I was dreaming, but it turns out that I have been handed proof that we are powerful.

I will tell you all that this, proof, was twenty years in the making, that it took me quite by surprise the way that I was shown my own power of manifestation, by the way, and through whom, that proof showed up in my life as soon as – maybe two or three weeks ago, now? I don’t exactly recall when, I just know that that which was recently manifested has made me think about one thing – if I can manifest something as big, beautiful, life changing, gentle, important, into my life, I can manifest anything, really.

The best part is that you can, too. I know this. Because just as I was handed that proof, basically on a proverbial silver platter, I, too, served as being said same proof for someone who is fast becoming a very big part of this second half of my life, and really, I could not be happier. I am guarded, but that is to be expected, and it is because of all the other garbage that I have gone through just to get to the point where really, in my mind, I don’t know if I am coming or going – manifesting one’s own desires, in short, kicks ass.

Like a shiny new bicycle

All of the horrible stuff that we have all gone through has not been without a good enough reason. I know, I know…lots of hurt still swirling around in the cosmos, and I also know that as soon as we can face that demon of hurt, as soon as we can see, too, that the void we feel is slowly becoming a void no more, and once we can accept where we have been, we can guarantee that sooner than later, things will begin to change, and suddenly, we feel like a kid on Christmas morning when they first set eyes on that one thing they so truly, dearly, with everything in them, wanted.

I know that it is not impossible to have everything in your life that you want. I sit here, completely beside myself, not only on the idea that what has occurred began twenty years ago, but that my theory of thinking back to that time, that whatever it was that broke us back then, in the time that has passed by, we have, to this point, created the answer to the situation, and the only answer was that we each needed to believe that what we needed would be also what we wanted. You will have, in the time that has passed, either come up with the reason, or have manifested the only answer. I manifested the only answer. For a long time there were things about me that I believed, and they were not the nicest things to believe about one’s own self, but believe them I did.

Then two decades went by, and here I am, telling you all that while I know it is the absoluteness of the Pisces, that we believe, it does not only apply to the idea that yes, we believe in faeries and elves, monsters and demons, but we also have a gentle powerlessness that is simultaneously our own mechanism of empowerment. It was through my weaknesses that I made it this far and this long, through those things that were not quite perfect that the one wish of the Soul came screaming back at me. Loudly.  I will admit to wanting to dive headlong into the fray, but stopped myself, knowing and thinking that it may not be what I think, may not be what it used to be – I am glad I was right, because it was way, way better than even my ability as a pisces to believe the most ridiculous things.

Yet they are not ridiculous. It was no where near ridiculous, the thing that I wanted so dearly, the thing that I never dreamed was not too far from me. I wanted to cry, wanted to scream joyously at the very top of my lungs, and really, even as it was not a holiday, it sure felt like one.  I did not scream, but my soul did. 

Just like a kid on Christmas morning.

It is in the ugliness of life that the beauty is spawned from

We all have lost, so, so much, but I will remain glued to my thought that it is never for nothing. The things that we each have gone through for many years were meant to bring us to this point. At this point we must look back and piece together the things that are most memorable to us, good or other than good, think about and perhaps even dwell on not what it is that we want, but why we want it. Once we have the answer for the “why” we can go forward, remaining neutral to the things that we do not see in manifest.

I could not have been more delighted, really, and not for more than the proof that is the bigness of my own Soul. I am huge on the idea that who we are is reflected back to us through others. I am big on the idea that once it is that whatever is still there and is hurting us, that those things will be what are the catalyst for us all to seek our power, to find out that we are awesome at this Soul power stuff, and that as long as we all think like good little fish, believe that we have the power to bring to our lives at least something which represents the actuality of things, we also, at that point when we choose to believe this way, open wide the door for the actual situation that we see in our minds to also be as good and as big a possibility as anything would be.

It was my Gator who kept up after me to never just be walking my bull (Lunar Taurus here), who told me that I really needed to let my truth show and just let the shark swim in the ocean of un-reality. It was April who told me that the thing that I so wished for was upon me, that it would be with a lightning quickness and that when it happened that I would hear her saying this to me, and I did. It was my soul mother, Noreen, who, three years ago, told me that it would not be what I thought, the way that this played out, but that it would, by the time that it mattered, make all the sense in the world to me AND that I WOULD BE a VERY happy little land shark…

All of them were right. I am sitting here beside myself, wondering how on earth this all came to be. It was with a little help from my two Soul Sisters and our Soul Mother, with a lot of wild piscean imagination, and yes, a whole lot of pleading with Spirit to please take away the ache from what I thought was gone forever and never to be had again, at all.

How to have your own Christmas all year long

I won’t lie to you – manifestation takes great focus and a lot of patience, it takes a belief in the unbelievable being able to be. My friend Melody Fletcher, the one to whom I refer to as “The Snarky Puppy Chick,” and who lovingly responds always with ‘How are you, Feral (Kitten)?” She is also a part of this, as a teacher and a pal on the other side of the world, who told me, around the same time Noreen said it, about how I have no idea what was ahead of me, that I needed to believe that I could have that one wish.

I have that one wish. I saw it with my own two eyes, and no matter what anyone else thinks, again, I am a very happy Kahu right now, ecstatically so, even.

You can do this, too. I say this because of all of the people who I know, I am the person who I know is the one who may have all the high aspirations of getting what I want to have in my life, but am also the very one who was less inclined to believe in my own ways and powers of manifestation. I used to stare enviously at my dear friend Scott (hello bassist), at how fast his manifestations became reality. I asked him once how he did it, what was going through his head, and his answer was like magic – “Rox, you just don’t think it won’t happen- that’s how I do it and how it happens…” and he was right.

When I set out to manifest what I manifested, and when it came into being, I was, all at one time, taken back to every single conversation I’d had with every single person I’d had it with, regarding our power to manifest. I am likely one of the only Pisceans that anyone knows who refuses to throw caution to the wind, who is the doubting Thomas of all doubters, who, at one point in her life, had very little belief that I would have the luck that I have with this one very big, very important thing.

And yes, it is that big, that important, that life-changing. It may not be that way for anyone else, but for me, it is. I am not sure of what is way more awesome – that I manifested this to happen, or that I was powerful enough to manifest it. I didn’t need to pay anyone to teach me this. I only needed my Soul Tribe to be there for me, no matter what, so that when all else failed (and it failed a LOT…but with VERY GOOD REASON !), they would (and did…thanks April, Dannie and Noreen…all my guys…you guys are the BEST!) be there to help me piece back together my tattered soul, my broken and shattered heart, and the me who is still a very much younger me, still very much the one who, for the life of her, feels like a kid again.

When we least expect the greatness in life to reveal itself, it happens upon us in remarkable ways. When we think we want something else, it is with a swiftness that Spirit comes beckoning us to show us what we need, in the form that we need it, and most of the time, want it to be. What I needed was what I also wanted, and nothing else would be the same as that one thing. There were situations which could have been thought of as being what I wanted, but when I thought about it, it was not. In fact, it was the opposite. I could only hear April telling me to be patient, Dannie telling me to not cry because the Mother Goddess knows what is best for any of us. It was Noreen, who, in her beautiful, Cancerian mother-like ways who was and is always there to help me see what I could not or what I refuse to see, and Jimmy who never ever let me get the best of me. I will admit to being a woman who has some set standards, and many of those standards, I am remiss to say, made me think and do things that eventually only cracked me in the soul a little more.

Once I took heart and heed to what my fellow Seers could also see, and interpreted differently for me, things became crystal clear. Soon enough, the path became brighter and clearer than it had ever been for many years.

Then one day…

…Merry Danged Christmas ! In February even !

If you want something in your life badly enough, you have the power to make it be, and not only make it be, but make it be way, WAY better than you were willing to settle for. I know this, for sure.

I have living proof.

I am living proof.




My Soul Brother

Randy Jay Braun – Hawai’i’s Camera Artist




The harshness of right this moment

It is up to us to choose how we will handle ourselves until this harsh energy is no longer here and which is meant to refine us all

The harshness. We can either allow it to define us, or refine us. When I say that we can let it define us, I mean that we can, if we should so choose, to allow the harshness of right this moment be the guiding energy in our lives, and allow it to control how we feel about this current time that is happening to us all, and we can, ultimately, do as we have for the majority time of each of our lives and believe that this harshness at this moment is there because we have been “bad” humans and now we are being punished.

Wow, really?

Here I thought you had been reading this blog for like, a long time now, and that since it was and always has been that I refuse to see things that are crappy as things that are also permanent, well, I figured that you might have that same clue that you do not have to judge a thing as crappy OR permanent. (That is just merely the laziness within you telling you that you just wanna give up and let the harshness win…guess what? You really have no choice other THAN to…keep reading)

Yeah…yeah I have been pouting… and whining…and all of those other things that a Pisces will do when it is that we cannot see what it is that we know is there, but is not apparent. It is, whatever the “it” is, not supposed to be seen, but rather and only…ready?

Pondered…studied….questioned…cussed out…called names…all of those things that we, as humans, are prone to doing, because once we can get all of that ridiculous, human plus ego equals having a big fat tantrum stuff out of the way, we can see the gem, the diamond which came from the proverbial lump of turd coal that none of us wants to work til it is at its point of perfection, or at least its point of being understood and utilized.

And that is the tricky part in all of this – recognizing when we, ourselves, have gotten SO dearly out of hand, have gone completely out of our minds, that we just throw our hands up into the air and have chosen to just wear whatever is the energy that is being brought to us by this harshness. I am no stranger to harshness, and neither am I stranger to the whiny crap that I am capable of when I become impatient AND uncomfortable in what I know is a temporary “thing” going on. (I might be enlightened, but I am still every bit as human a being as is anyone.)

Playing with “the tricky part”

Yes…playing with it, because what the hell else are you going to do with the tricky parts of things that are teaching us, and how are you supposed to learn from it if all any one of us sees, and chooses to see, that whatever it is that sucks and that we each are going through, how badly it sucks? If we see it all there and only how badly it sucks and do so without also seeing there what it is that we can create, on our own, from that suckiness, we won’t know that just the mere thought of wanting to change things to be not as sucky right now (meaning that we CAN and should see the suckiness, at least after a day or three of pouting, as that teacher, back when we were in high school, who EVERYONE hated because he or she was SUCH a hard ass, and go from that point instead of thinking like that kid and behaving like that kid…essentially using that energy…which is my next point) can work wonders for us if we allow it to happen for us instead of to us.

Are things happening to us, or for us?

Don’t ya just hate that? Don’t ya just hate it when you are comfortably wallowing in your own muck and then some damned … psycho cheerleader…comes along and tells you that no, it does not have to be this way forever, and that it is because we are each believing that this is all we deserve? That what is happening to us is somehow our gift from the Universe for being such bad, bad children?

Yeah…I do, too, and it is more so when I happen to be said very psycho cheerleader. Thing is, it is that damned cheerleader who lives in all of our psyches who is also the very dingbat who makes us look at things from a new angle and say to ourselves “oh man…the dingshit was right…ugh!” and from that point on, even begrudgingly so, we begin to accept that we were right. Sometimes, we hate it when we are right, and only because we were not the only one who was right.

We would have rather chosen to sit in our own pile of Soul goo, whining about how things suck (I am professional at it), thinking about how everyone else is getting everything they want, and how we are like a kid at our own birthday party, made to wait in line for our own piece of our own birthday cake, and by the time that we get to have our cake, we need a straw to eat it, because the ice cream and the cake have all melted into what is now a nasty, sweet, multi-colored thickness of what we waited so long for, only to be told that we have to wait.

We wait and wait in anticipation and finally when we get our turn, or what we think should be our turn, we are given what we asked for, but find out that we needed to be a LOT clearer about it. We see that we got exactly what we asked for, but we got what we asked for in the literal sense, meaning that we mighta asked for ice cream and cake, but we never said that we wanted it to be like what we see in our heads. All we know is that we want cake, and that we want it now, and the thing in our heads all the while is that “when I get mine, it is gonna be all goopy and messy and melted and I am probably going to need a straw to eat it…” and turns out that yep, we are right !

…and sometimes, bein’ right SUCKS OKOLE !

I know a whoooooooole lot of people who LIKE being right, and always, being who I am, I relish in the thought that sometimes, it sucks being right, because sometimes, being right means that we have to deal with being right when it is sucky being right. I know – I just repeated myself, but that is how people learn and retain stuff, and this stuff is pretty danged important when thinking in terms of how things change, and more, how we perceive them to be at any given time.

At any given time, we humans are given to adhering to the rules that we have set for ourselves and one of those rules we all set is to relish being right.  Sure, it is fun to let our egos out to play, to prance around like maniacs because that is where it feels best when we are right – squarely in the midst and the mind of our Ego. When we operate from “neener neener neener…you are a weener…” we are operating from our ego.

Neener Neener Neener…you are a Weener…bwaaahahahahahahahaaa

Yeah yeah…sue me…you bet your okoles that I am sitting here, wanting to get up and do like little kids do and taunt all of us, namely me, for not having let my soul be who rescued me from all of the goop that collected in the psyche of my mind. I know, inherently, that this crap we are going through is SUPPOSED to happen this way, and it is SUPPOSED to happen this way because we are being taught discipline. Whether you believe me or not is on you, but my friend, Dr. Loretta Standley, whose daily writings are a favorite of mine, confirms everything that I am writing here. And no, I did not have to look at it too much to really think about how it is that we are all just going through the fires of refinement right now, because really, boys and girls, what is on the other side of all of this…crap…cannot be explained well enough to incite you all to being happy little soul boot-campers.

I sorta knew already that right now, it, collectively, was and is gonna be a BITCH! And no, it is not only karmic, but also is, as I said already, our refinement, through fire, so to speak, and it is not so that we can learn how to stop being whiny, but more, so that we can choose what is right for our Path – NOT our Now. Now is meant as the classroom, as boot-camp, and now is when we want to pay such dear attention to our reactions to things and heighten the energy in them so that we KNOW to choose to respond and not to react.

We have all been a particular kind of weener, by the way. In my case, it is the petulant 17 year old who is there, showing the child within how to have a tantrum. And, most of us knows that almost ALL 17 year olds can be a HANDFUL. From time to time, I become this handful. I don’t like being that way, but when we are not given the attention that we need and expect at the real age that we are -almost 44 – and it seems that others in our lives STILL want to parent us, no matter who it is, if we feel like we are parented by anyone, even our parents, and we do not like the way things are happening, we become those unruly kids we once were.

And hell yes, I was a HANDFUL at 17…but weren’t we all? (And if you were not, you are either lying about it, or you were, at that time in your life, Stephen King’s model for The Children of the Corn haha). I know, and can recall, that when I was 17, I was bangin’ my head, rockin’ and rollin’, and taking no prisoners…bwaaahahahahahahaaa….and was doing so from the stinky depths of that place where the sun does not shine…and no, I am NOT talking about your grand-daddy’s outhouse.

You know EXACTLY where it is that I am talking about, and where it is that ALL of us tends to visit now and again. At 17, we are, I was, very reactive. Of course, at 17, not one of us realizes that we are not always needing to react and that a lot of the time, if we think about things first, we find that a response is a LOT more favorable and garners at least clarity for us.

Reaction and Response are NOT the same things

Al Sharpton. I say a lot of not so nice things about this person, but I do so in certain company who know me well enough to know that I know the reality of things, and the reality of things is that while I might not like this person, he worked his sorry okole off in order to be where he is now (which is, and I asked, on a LOT Of peoples’ ‘not nice guys’ list’). While I can take a lesson from his example in being able to work smart rather than hard, it is not my way to take the easy way. This is not to assume that he did. It is only to say that this is my perception of him and his success.

Yet, it is success that a lot of people learned to hate harder and bigger than they have ever in the past, and over something as trivial as a thing that not one of us can control – our ethnicity. He fancies himself the voice of the minority, but he does not speak for me. And really, I am, at least in my own opinion, the man’s WORST nightmare…I am female, an actual ethnic minority, am independent as much as I can be at this time, am dearly college educated, owned my own home, married someone and stayed that way for a long, long time, did not have any kids outside of marriage…I think you see the picture I am drawing for you all, right?

I am not Sharpie’s girl, because without his big mouth and his penchant for guilting people into following his pied piper bullshit of “IT’S WHITEY’S FAULT” (dumb-ass, no it isn’t…), I managed to actually LIVE the minority “dream,” all the way to being married to a white guy. I am what he fears, because what I am and who I am does not need to be told that there are always going to be some sort of challenge for me, because I am a minority and because I am a chick. I did not need to be motivated by someone else because my sixth house is in Capricorn, which means that I would have done all I could, like I am doing now, to create the life that I want for myself and my kids.

Mr. Sharpton likes to garner a reaction, it seems, because in that reaction he gets more people on the Sharpie Road.  I, on the other hand, am not the Rev who is going to sit and bother anyone with something that they can react to. I am going give a few options for a person to think about and wait for their response. When we react it sets off an energy that no one really needs, not even when it is a good reaction that causes a positive energy. The reason that I say that is because like anything else that we are trained to do, to accept, to believe, as we watch, we learn, and if we learn to react and forget about thinking and then responding, we will never be able to utilize, for real, that thing between our ears called our brain.

I am a thinker – make no mistake about it, but for a long time, I was given to reacting to what would cause my ego to think was an infraction against it, when in reality, it was the Mother Goddess giving me a chance to respond. Think about it for a minute – how many times have we all responded rather than reacted? How many times did reacting, unless it was a life or death thing happening, ever really work out for us when it came to things that we knew needed to change in us?

Right now, things suck ass…period. We think that this will never end, but we also all know that this is not a response. We are, instead, reacting to what we see as being the truth. And really, it is ONLY the truth of RIGHT THIS MOMENT. It is a truth that we all can change, but the thing that has to change FIRST is knowing when it is needed to react, and when it is that a response is more appropriate. We cannot stomp our feet and be mean to our guides (I know this one personally…Gabby gets SO upset…she’s a very sensitive guide, Gabriel is…she doesn’t like being told off and makes life harsher because I am impatient). We cannot curse the situation and cannot sit and believe that we are the butt end of the joke that Spirit is playing on us. We cannot sit there, in our miry mind goop thinking all these negative things which will cause a reaction by us when instead we can stop and think and respond to anything at all and not react emotionally.

…and in English, please Rox?


OKAY, basically, we are, and with help from the stars and planets, experiencing the energy that is forcing us to choose to do what is right, to define what it is that we need the most so as to get us on our Paths so that we can do what we were each meant to do with ourselves. We are being refined, as I have said now in this writing more than one time, by these proverbial fires. It is not because the  Mother Goddess wants to punish us, but rather and only because we need to choose and more than that we need to learn to choose what is right for us.

Think of it like a coach getting his players ready (hey…my Steelers were SUPPOSED to be in the playoffs, but hell no…I am wondering if the Chargers are somehow special in that the rules say 6 and they had 7 on that play that cost Kansas the game which ultimately made it so that I am now back to being ONLY a PGA fan until July…ugh….anyhow…) and telling his team that they have to discipline themselves to do the best they can. It is like a dance instructor telling her charges that they need to stand up straight so that they can all appear to uniformly lined up and so that it comes naturally to them all (I know this one personally…it was what I taught my hula haumana first…appearance when performing is EVERYTHING and I like to put on a helluva show, or at least used to). It is like any parent, any employer anyone, really, who is tasked with helping champions create themselves.

This is not my rule. This is the Universal Law in place and that is always in place.

We are being parented right now, by the Mother Goddess, and like all good moms, she will let us know, through our becoming enlightened and our manifestations becoming our realities, when we have learned a specific lesson.

Right now, we are learning ALL of them.

Yup…it sucks, but without it, we don’t know what doesn’t suck, and what doesn’t suck is about to come to us all in a big, big way. Harsh lessons is how we recognize what is worth all the pain in the okole stuff, and what is not.

You are worth it, are you not?

(I thought so, too)




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