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Point Blank

Point Blank Meme The Manao Blog

Sometimes we need to be point blank with others, not only so that we can get things done, but more, so that not only they know what are our boundaries, but more, so that we will know and respect what boundaries we have set that others need to respect.

If there is a lesson that we should all be happy to learn, even if it hurts us to learn it, it is a lesson in respecting other peoples’ boundaries.

Now, I am not saying that making friends online is a bad thing, because I have a whole LOT of friends who I see online more than I do in the real, and of course, as we all do, I have PLENTY of online pals, too. Make no mistake, the connections we make online are as real as any connection we make with anyone at all in the real. To think otherwise is to try too hard to want to believe anything other than this one truth.

This one truth is something that a whole lot of people do not seem to get, that there are people who willingly are our friends, and that is where it stops, that is where it will always stop, and that is not a line that anyone needs to or should cross. Crossing it bleeds of disrespect, not only for another person’s privacy, but more, for who they really are.

We can push and prod and try hard to change this, this fact that what we want with anyone else is fine and good, but in terms of wanting more than we can have, and to push the issue further only shows another person that the one thing that we do not have, due to our own feeling of need or want or whatever, that the respect they are receiving that any and all humans should receive is not something that is being honored.

Honor is something that not a whole lot of people, sadly, know a thing about. To honor someone is to make it known by them and to them that who they are means something to anyone at all, but mostly, respecting who they are and everything that they need is the one thing that not too many people seem to have any regard for. I get it when we are in that thought that we have to…HAVE GOT TO…know someone, and I get it in terms of our own thinking that the message we are getting from a mere picture is something that ought to be taken as the truth.

Out truth and what it is that we want to believe may well be not what is the actual truth of another person.

For instance

Think about someone who is way interested in another person, but that other person has relayed to them that friends is all they will ever be. The person who does not accept this as their truth is not wrong in feeling as they do, but, when said person pushes and pushes, even as the person of interest has declined, this is when even the nicest “pushing” from that person is going to start becoming a problem.

It will become a problem not only for the person of interest (because they would have to continually repeat themselves with no promise that the person in pursuit of them will stop), but more, it will cause the person pursuing to try harder, and when we try harder and already know what the answer is…let’s just say that madness WILL set in.

Pushing anyone for anything is like telling them that what is their truth is not a good enough reason for anyone to just knock their crap off. Most sane human beings will take the hint and simply either deal with what is someone else’s truth, or, they will, as I just mentioned, continue trying hard to change someone else’s truth.

Trying hard to change what is anyone else’s truth is not an easy thing to do. Trying to make someone else see things through your eyes and from your perspective does no one any good at all if there is not that thing called respect. Pursuing anything or anyone at all who has already set the ground rules for any sort of relationship of any kind and that you might have just chosen to not think about what you are doing to that other person is not cool.

Where am I going with this?

Lately, and because I am trying to expand my network to include people who can help me, and I, them, no matter how big or small that help might be, I am running into a whole lot of those folks who seem to think that somehow they have a connection with me in terms of…ugh…we shall call it whatever it is that could also be thought of as being somehow an invitation for more than what it is that is there, that has been presented and that is the very truth of me and everything that I am really all about.

There are VERY few people on this planet who know, for real, who I am and what I am really about. Those few people know, very well, what my boundaries are, and with those few people, there seems, really, to be almost no boundaries. There is nothing that I will not do and that which is within my own power for each of them. They each and all know who they are. In terms of knowing who I am and what I am all about, they get it.

They understand that in order to be a part of my soul tribe, that as much as I respect their boundaries, they’ve gotta respect mine (and they do…Goddess bless each and every one of them for doing so…I Love you guys…thanks). It is not something that I have had to repeat to them, not something that was not understood by them and by me, and not something that is ever an issue that cannot be seen to in the manner that, should those boundaries be crossed, is done with love and regard for all of who I am…and it is very vice-versa with the each of them.

Then there are those ones who are brand new…the sort who want to tell me all these things so that I might well be impressed by the idea that on their end, there is some sort of connection that they have had with my picture. A picture is one thing, but to have a connection with anyone at all requires time, requires patience, requires love of the self, requires respect on a level that is not out loud, but assumed and presumed is just there. It also requires the ability to accept that which we might not like or want to hear, even as what we will hear is that other person’s truth.

That other person’s truth

When a person tells us something, it is up to us to get the hint.

Period.

If we are not willing to hear what they have to say to us, and we are not willing to take from them what is their truth and we are more willing to only see what is our own truth, and we continue to push and push for something that we know we cannot have (but yet we will continue to push) we can guarantee that eventually, and sooner than later, the pushing that we do WILL push back at us, and we might not be able to deal with the emotional after-effects caused by the things that we KNEW better than to continue doing.

Yet, continue doing as they will, they will do, and there are only a few things that we can do to make it known to them that we mean business, that they continually step over the line with us.

Perhaps it is that they cannot help themselves – human beings are like that. When we see something that we feel like we need, or we feel like there is something there that is not there, that is when we have to check ourselves, before we wreck ourselves. I mean, I get it…I totally get the idea that there are things and people in this lifetime that we would absolutely love to have in our lives. We are all like that, but, the difference between us and those who seem not able to accept our boundaries is marked.

It is marked in that all humans can sense emotional pain in others, and like all good humans will do, we want to find out what it is that we can do for anyone else in terms of helping them get through their pain, if not get out of it. You see, for us to want to help people not have a lot of pain is one thing. That is what I do for my work in this lifetime – help other people figure out ways to deal with their emotional pain and turn that emotional pain into a work of art, sometimes literally.

Sometimes, those who we would like to help only have one thing on their mind, and that one thing is simply to get us to change our mind about something that we might not be humanly able to do. I deal with this one everyday. I deal with people who just seem unable to accept the idea that whatever it is that is in their own heads and may well be a lovely thought, might not be what is in anyone else’s head and might not be that same lovely thought.

When we have bothered to take other people for their word and their word being that thing called “their truth,” is when we are ready to face other, more beautiful truths, and truths that we might not well have been able to deal with accepting for a long time, even though for a long time we knew that what we were seeing in front of us was the very truth of another person.

It is not now, nor has it ever been, neither will it EVER be anyone else’s business to try to stop us from having what is our own truth, and neither will it be one of those things that is acceptable to me, to anyone like me, to anyone period, to feel like that truth is not something that is accepted as well as respected by others.

Not accepting the truth of other people, namely when that truth is something that they hold near and dear to themselves, is like telling them that we think their truth sucks, and it sucks because we don’t like it.

Just because we don’t like it, it does not mean that we have the right to try to manipulate them to see things our way. It does not give us the right to plead our case to them, hoping they will understand why we do not share the same way of feeling our energy, but all the while, underneath it all, there is always that energy that tells us that what it is that we are feeling at any given time is somehow us lying to ourselves.

Ummm…whatever…keep on thinkin’ that way, cupcakes, and you are going to find out the business end of someone else that might not be the thing that you thought it was…seriously…

This is what happens when we decide that we do not want to accept another person’s truth about anything, but namely about ourselves and our place or our lack of place in their lives.

There is nothing more maddening for anyone, namely a light worker, than to have to repeat ourselves, over and over again. In terms of light workers, it is that we know, for real, whether you believe me or not, what the underlying motives are in anyone else (kinda cool how we sense energy like that, right? Riiiiight) If we are employed ‘in the realms’ like I am, and we are able to feel and sense our way through another person’s energy, we will try hard to not offend them but…make no mistake…when we are offended, the human being in us takes over the Spirit within by which we lead our very lives.

That’s when it is lights out, baby…

You can take my words as truth, or not, and it won’t matter – I will still be this me, and I will still not acknowledge a person who seems to believe that no matter what, my truth is not what I tell them that it really is. In this instance, my truth is exact, is absolute, and not now, and I must go ahead and say…IF EVER…will that truth change.

I am not one to exchange what (or WHO) is the most important to me, for anyone.

I said it…deal with it.

And I Promise you, each and all, that when I say something, I mean every word that I say. Again…there is a very small group of people on this planet who know this and understand this, because it is also the way that they roll.

If you cannot accept what is my truth, then I invite you to roll your ass on out of my awareness. I cannot get much more point blank than that, much as no one else can, either.

I promise…my truth is not going to change…for anyone…unless, of course, the person for whom it must change is me.

And that is a truth that some people are invited to simply choke down like a gallon of Nyquil on a hot day in the Mojave desert in August…

I Love You All

ROX

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Currently Attempting to Just Be

Bull-shark-infront-of-diver-1024x507

Anyone reading this right now might well have the sensation that this trying to “Just Be” thing is kind of a bitch to actually make happen.

Please bear with me today, because today I am really trying hard to not sound like a whiny princess who cannot get her own ass up and at ’em.

For a long time I was told, taught, expected to learn how to just Be. Just being is the thing that most humans need to be able to do, but, for the very life of me, I am having a very hard time doing it. I like leisure time, and I like being able  to just chill, but lately, I do notwant to just chill. Lately, it feels like there is always something that I MUST be doing, and more than that, it also feels, right now, like I am …AM…doing something not quite correctly. That something is merely and only and simply just Being.

Just Being

Again, you will have to bear with me because I am having a very hard time with this just being thing.

I have heard that I am quite phenomenal at just Being, but I don’t know that because always, I have a hard time just not doing anything, even if that means that the things that I AM doing is thinking. I get paid for it – my ability to think, and my ability to think in terms that not a lot of other people are able to.

Being able to think in terms that not a lot of other people are able to takes a LOT of time, a LOT of practice and a whole lot of utilization of that one ability. I do not know if I am being stretched in terms of this ability, but I do know that at this moment, given that I know that this is NOT going to be one of those magnificently thought out pieces of writing that I always intend on creating, I am at that place, once again, where the only thing that I am able TO do is to Be.

To Be means that one is the observer and not the doer. 

That is my problem. That is the problem that a whole lot of us humans here on earth have – the inability to simply and merely just Be.

I am not that great at sitting still for very long, and I am not that great at telling people to handle their own circuses and neither their insane monkeys…and my own mental monkeys have, for the moment, just chosen to not behave. Perhaps it is that they need a break from performing, or maybe it is that they are all telling me that I need to stop the toiling for the words, and stop the madness that is trying hard to get to the next and higher level of my own life, and just breathe.

I would love nothing more than to just be able to stop and do just that. The issue is that I, along with a whole lot of other people, have taken on this energy, for years, that in order for us to be worthy humans, we always and all have to be…HAVE TO BE productive. While I am indeed productive in the manner that is teaching other people to train their thoughts so as to become better habits, I am very much not this way when I KNOW that the time has come to just let go of everything that I see coming to me, to let go of how long it feels as though it is taking, to let go of everything that I have riding on it all, including this blog, and take a break from doing and try hard to just Be.

I am not alone in this

Lots of us do not realize that the inability to just Be comes from a lifetime’s worth of the recording in our heads that tells us that we are not impressing anyone else, but namely ourselves, when we are just “sitting around and doing nothing.”

This is the thing that a whole lot of people grew up hearing, and to this day, because of this one thing, and because a lot of us do not know how to make it stop, and more than anything else, because of the innate “need” to become worthy, so to speak, in the eyes, thoughts, minds of those who were of major significance in our lives as children and then later, still, as adults, we find this habitual “thing” happening to us, this thing called the inability to just Be.

It is a crippling thing, really, the idea that there is a population of people on this planet who cannot relax unless we are doing something.

The thing that I have chosen to “do” so that I can just Be.

Weekends are very important to me, namely Saturdays, which today is Saturday, because it is the one day of the week where I share my time in the manner that is valuable. I have chosen to just Be in the manner that is bringing new life, through planting and nourishing my own self through the doing of proliferating plant life.

When we give our own life force to other beings, even those beings which are not human beings, and even as that is what I do each weekend, this weekend, while not different, has been consciously set in my mind as a “not doing to do, but doing to be” type thing. It is the only thing that I am sure will make me not feel like I do right now, which is not that great.

Feeling not that great means that somewhere, at least within me, there is a need to just let go of the things that have bothered me for so long a time anymore and just Be.

Notice how I keep writing that one phrase, “just Be”?

…yeah, me, too.

This is the way that the Mother Goddess repeats Herself to her kids, and apparently, because I wrote this same thing, almost, in my other blog, ‘Just Rox’, She is screaming at me through my ability to physically see.

So, folks…with that much known…

Aloha nui…

I Love You All

ROX

 

 


The Gift That Is Being Aloha

No matter what anyone thinks, you do not have to be ethnically Hawai’ian to show Aloha, and neither to Know Aloha…

Aloha.

It technically means “Breath of Life,” which, in my line of vocation, it would be the Breath of Life through the show of Aloha which would be the one thing that I personally chalk up to being the most wonderful thing in the world. Aloha is the energy that a lot of us do not know we have within us. And really, my opinion is that it is because too many people who are not Hawai’ian have made that one word somehow a…(gulp)…sales pitch, and it is so not a sales pitch, we have this … ridiculousness…that is not the truth of what is Being Aloha.

I don’t care that in some parts of commerce and some parts of the country that today is “Aloha Friday”…for lots of people on the planet, everyday is a day to give to others the Breath of Life.

Aloha can be thought to literally mean “Joyfully Sharing Life.” While this is just the thought, it was the only way that I could explain what it really means and as has been taught to me for the majority of my life on this rock we all call home.  I am not addressing anyone in particular. I am addressing the fact that there are a lot of us who are not Hawai’ian and who have been showing Aloha for as long as you have been breathing the very air that we all share.

Mahalo nui loa, by the way, for doing so, because there really is no such thing as too much Aloha.

This is what this posting is all about, really – the idea that there are 7 days in a week, but the only day set aside for even the very word “Aloha” is Friday. If you are vocationally spiritual, everyday is a day to share, to give, to spread, to offer, and most of all, to Be, Aloha.

It is the truth that we Hawai’ians are meant and born into this lifetime for the purpose of Being Aloha. 

It is a sadness that is real to a lot of light workers, the idea that there are some who share this same energy in their lives with me and who are not willing to not pick and choose who they will show their Aloha to. Yes, light workers are still humans, and we still have the ability to feel things that hurt us, and really, light workers are a group of people on this planet here to lend to the healing of souls which are sharing the air with us. That we are such wounded healers is a very good reason as to why it is that we are also, alongside all of my Hawai’ian Ohana globally, meant to go out into this world on the daily and spread the energy that is Aloha – because we are the very ones who understand how elusive we want to believe it is. The reason that we believe it is elusive is because many of us, many, many people who are here with us in this lifetime know how to Love, but they are scared to do so, because they have been so hurt in the past by it in every possible way that it can be had that they become guarded.

When we are talking about the collective of Hawai’ian people on this planet we are talking also about an entire race of people who feel a collective hurt, because historically we have been wronged on many levels and really, on that same collective level, there is a guardedness, a deep mistrust in people who are not the same, at least for MANY of us, as us, (you know…Kanaka) and on that level I understand that pain. However, at a level that too many of us shun, I understand, too, the pain that is the collective of the rest of the world, the part of the All That Is that makes it so that we have the experiences we have with the people who we have them with. There is a lot of pain, collectively, within the Hawai’ian race, and our only answer, at least for the most part of us, is that we know we are meant to spread Aloha, so, yes, even begrudgingly, we give what we have in abundance to those who have no idea that Aloha is NOT a silly word that we have all heard people on TV slaughter and say incorrectly.

Aloha is an energy that holds prevalence for us all, even if you are not Hawai’ian – you are human, and that makes you part of the human ohana, the one that Spirit puts together, and the one that Spirit ensures is not so much divided in terms of being divided from other people, but divided in terms of which part of the human race will show Aloha in this form or that form, and which part of the human race will be the ones to musically show Aloha, and which ones will it be to do so through artistic means, through financial means, through whatever means it is that we each were specifically designed for.

Think of it as this is our job, and this is what manner that we present ourselves in the boundaries of that job

I hate to put it that way, but this seems to be the way that most folks understand what I write. It is our job as humans, and more so if we are humans of the Hawai’ian persuasion, to be the beacon of light for others who are traveling the path of Spirit, of enlightenment, of Love. Often times we are mistaken for being hippies, but that is not what we are. We are not here to make ourselves physically presentable to anyone else, and the manner in which we show up is the way that it is so that the people who we are meant to share our Aloha with and the manner that it will present itself to the rest of the world is how it will come across.

For instance, I LOVE rock music, have a deep endearment for those whose lives are lived in the “indie” manner, and I just love to inject my personal brand of Hawai’ian into that set of humans. Because I am, so to speak, “one of them,” I am approachable and these people – mostly musicians and artistic types like myself – understand my words because outside of my being a Maoli Girl, I am also one of them. I speak “rock musician,” and I speak “indie rock,” and I speak “metal,” and “party girl,” and all of those other things that happen to be part of that genre of life.

Because they are the main group of kind of people that I meld best with, these are also the sort who make up my Soul Tribe – which is a group of people who I refer to as being my “Hanai Ohana,” or, “adopted family.” While I have my blood family and love them dearly, it is my Hanai Ohana who I share the tightest bond with, and it is because our mission, collectively, is the same. It is this same way in all walks of life, and if we are paying better attention to it all, we will see who our own “Hanai Ohana” is.

A few examples

That one guy at the office…the one who you talk all the time to about that one thing you have in common…it could be a love for professional sports or a love for coaching kids in said same sport…this guy has the possibility of being your Hanai Ohana…

That one lady – you know who she is, and you so dearly enjoy talking to her all the time because she gives you the feeling that you are part ofher world, even if you don’t know one another that well. She is your friend. You are her friend. You share some things in common that you know means that there is something there that you ought to be figuring out more of, and that one thing is the welcoming energy that is the Aloha shared between you.

Most of us have cousins, and within that set of people with whom you share not only Aloha, but also DNA, are people who are part of your Soul Tribe, of your Hanai Ohana, because within that set of cousins and you there is a special bond that exceeds the limitations of blood, surpasses the boundaries of things that are or can be typically annoying within anyone’s extended family.  Oh MAN do I know this one REALLY well…try thinking that you are the only one who can be called “weirdo” for the majority of your life and then one day you find out you have cousins who are JUST like you are…it makes for a totally different energy where, in the past, you felt like that energy of ugliness within DNA ties would never go away. Finding out things like this sort of makes up for all the times in one’s life where you felt like the black sheep, only to find out that you were more the stand alone wolf than much else.

And more than that, where it was that others placed you at the end of the proverbial pack, you turned things around and came back larger than life leading said pack…but you don’t know this without also accepting that maybe, just maybe, you have been going about all this…Aloha…stuff…not quite in the manner that you could have been, and all because you didn’t know better.

Yes – because you did not know better. I grew up in the energy that is “Us versus them” in terms of being Hawai’ian. Through some blood family, I was taught to see that because I am Hawai’ian, I am different, that I have the right to recognize this about myself, and that it is a good thing to make it known that this is what I am.

This is all fine and good until and unless someone who believes that they have a little bit of power within the familial groove thing  and believes that it is their right to teach not only the people within their family this lie, but then who go out into the world and teach others this lie about Aloha…Aloha and being one of the millions of “faces of Aloha” – you know… KANAKAS… that to be part of this Nation of the Kingdom of Hawai’i (hey…I gots to be proud Kanaka Maoli…deal with it) also means that we are the ones who make sure to it that people see our greatness, that it is better than their greatness, and that since we come from royalty, it is our job to make other people feel like they are beneath us.

No, again…I am not pointing fingers at anyone. If you feel like I am doing this, it is not me who needs to check herself…seriously.  I am showing the world through these words that it is up to all of us to Spread Aloha and that it is our duty as Hawai’ian people to NOT make others, namely those outside of our ethnic boundaries, feel like they are not worthy of the Breath of Life. It is our duty to support one another, not only as Hawai’ians, but also as humans who have been placed here for the purpose of showing our Love for the rest of the world in the manner that we have each been taught.

We have each been taught many things, but the most important thing we have all within us is the undying Breath of Life, the Ha which is so important to the perpetuation of our very selves, not through the birthing of new and literal life, but through the birthing of our very selves as sentient whole beings and beings of and in the light of Healing for the world to know and have and see and yes, of course, to Be, alongside us guys in the energy that is the breath of Life that we all have the duty to Spirit to gift to others.

Aloha is the very Breath of Life within all humans. We have spent so much time collectively seeing only what is not the same between us that we have not given any thought to what is the same, and what is the same is that we all need to be part of something bigger than we are. The truth is that we all need to have the Love, the Aloha, that we give to others given back to us in some manner. The truth is that we are meant to Love, not only those who are within the confines of our Soul Tribe Families, but also to the grandeur that is the entirety of our race…the Human Race.

Aloha is not about where you came from, where you were geographically born, has nothing to do with anything more than the realness that is Love of the Agape sort, and the sort which gives life and offers love on the Spiritual climes of Life.

Without Aloha, we cannot breathe.

So please go out into your own private, personal worlds and #LiveALOHA!

I Love You All!

ROX

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Free Will Gives Us Choices

Free Will allows us to choose if we want to go with the flow of the pain experienced by things out of our control, including planetary things, or to turn that negative feeling brought by planetary energy into something useful and only for ourselves. 

My good friend, Soul-Mother, and favored teacher of all things Not of this World, recently stated something about Mercurial retrogrades being a pain in the butt, which they are, but she also stated that they do not have to be that way and that we are being like the ‘sheeple’ who she teaches her students to not mimic.  And this is sort of a humorous thing to me in that,maybe an hour prior to my seeing this statement that she’d made, I told a very significant person in my life that I was going through “the meh’s” and was lending credence to the current moon cycle.

Then I saw that statement, and really, it makes a lot of sense in that, we are given free-will choice upon entrance into this lifetime. We are given the ability to choose that which will, or will not, be the right choice in our lives, and a whole lot of us, professional weirdos included especially, have just given in to the idea that whatever is happening in the heavens is going to be the thing that we HAVE TO experience here on this planet. The truth is that no, no we do not.

We do not have to experience these energies in the manner that we have assumed we must…we can use them rather than fear them.

If we ponder the things that we think are the truth that apply to us all, you would also begin to take the idea that it is happening, whatever the ‘it’ might be at any given certain time, is happening to us all and that since this is the truth, that we should just live with it. While I know that we have to just live with what is happening in the skies above us, the truth is that even as those energies might be messin’ with us in ways that we just don’t want to have to deal with or feel or go through, the reality is that we always have the option, no, not to ignore how we feel, but to broaden our thoughts, thereby broadening our energetic selves, and stretch beyond what it is that we know as being the truth about some things.

The truth is that, whenever there is a planetary shift, there will also be a human shift in consciousness here on earth, and while some of us will not know what it is that we are feeling other than how we feel, there are those of us who, just like me, need to remember that we have the option to use the energies another way. It doesn’t have to all be “bad,” because there is always a reason as to why it is that we feel bad, or good, or neutral, about anything at all.

Right now we are in the middle of a gigantic shift in our collective consciousness, where the entirety of mankind is trying hard to fit their rigid 3D thinking into their shifting 4D bodies, and of course, there are those of us who have shifted already into the 5D mode of thought already, and we are waiting, impatiently even, for the stragglers to catch up to us. Those who are not yet caught up will not be able to handle the changing energies, because they happen so swiftly, even as they happen quietly. A good example of this is that there are some of us who have found ourselves stuck with “one last thing” and that one thing, at least before I saw that statement, was looming, large and seemingly immovable. Yet, even though this might be the truth, what is also the truth is that while that one thing remains as it is and in its energy, I, too, have energies and they are energies which are real, powerful and in abundance and totally what this “one last thing” requires of me so that I may think outside of what is right here in front of me and think about how I might turn these “same” energies (‘the meh’s) into yet one more step in the ladder to where I am headed.

No one ever said that there would not be these things on my Path that would seem to stand in the way of things that I can see out in the proverbial distance that await me, and no one was meant to tell me. I was, as anyone is, meant to figure this out. Silly me…I did not figure this out until I read that statement that my Teacher wrote out for the world to read on her Facebook profile . I will say to you all, though, that they had to have been the very most powerful words I have read in a long time.

That the situation on the earth is about as schizophrenic as it can possibly get at this time, it does not mean that spiritually and emotionally, we have to be. We can take these energies and think about how we might use them toward something that is not that one immovable thing, and we can shift that portion of our attention elsewhere, so that we do not drive ourselves nutty trying to figure out how to move a thing that is, at the moment, seemingly immovable. The reasons that it is immovable can be many, or can be one solitary reason, but the truth is that the reason it is immovable is to test each of us on our Faith in the Power of our own Spirits, our own inner guidance, and how much we trust our ‘Aumakua.

It is our Spirit Guides, also known as , at least in Hawaiian culture, The ‘Aumakua, who have brought to us the reminders that there are things in our lives that need to be seen to and that these things are the last things that need to be seen to in so far as what we have only been given in terms of the second half of life for the majority of us. You read it right. If what we, collectively, are experiencing at this time and that is a pain in the okole right now and that is something that we would rather not even have to deal with anymore, it is that thing or those things which we need to study, ponder, think about, etc., but not in the manner that we have been but in a new way that we have to create it from. We have to look at what we have been given that is a challenge for us and see what is there, even if it is painful, or hurts us, or makes us angry…we have to acknowledge it so that we can heal it, so that ultimately, we can heal ourselves.

And even our own personal healing is meant to be something that comes from within our own thoughts, in our own Spirits, and the only thing that things outside of us that hit us globally and with the idea that we have to “go along with” the current planetary energies is that we have no choice about what is happening up in the cosmos. We only have choice of what we, ourselves, will do, with those energies.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, the idea that we are not beholden to only the pain brought by these planetary happenings – we can also enjoy the other side of it all, which is still painful, sort of, but is more conducive to our own healing, and it is the other side called “learning.” We can learn from these energies, because it will be within and because of them that we will be able to change the way that life down here on earth ends up being. I cannot fathom my life staying the way that it used to be, and there is really only one thing left to do in matters where my soul is not okay with what is happening. I could continue to brood about things not going my way right damned now, or I can use this time to take action toward the things that I know are mine already, no matter what they might be.

And that is really the beauty of things in this lifetime – no matter what we want to think right at this moment, and no matter what we have been through, no matter what – while we might not, at this very moment, exactly know how we are supposed to get to where we are meant to be, we will get there. We will get there no matter what, and we will get there just at the right time, which really is when we are supposed to be there.  We have all of these things that happen, all of the time, up in the heavens, and every single one of us is affected by it all. Yet, if we are aware of these things, and we know that, scientifically, the planetary gravitational pull of all of the planets in the heavens, and we pay attention to it all, and we know, too, that planetary shifts are real, but like all else, are temporary.

We do not have to become slaves to the planets and their tantrums, their joys, their anything. They are there to be the things in the heavens that signify what is happening here, on earth. We have the free will of choice, granted us all upon entry to this lifetime, and most of us are more willing to follow the crowd rather than the whims of our souls, as set forth by the things that we are willing to learn, even if it hurts a little bit.

We are not beholden to the whims of the planets, because we have free will. We are not required to pander to the energies which, really, when you think about it, are quite useful. They are useful because they point out for us the sins that we have not forgiven ourselves for as of yet. They are useful because they show us where we are in need of growth and of the utilization of the things that we are afraid of for whatever reason we might have to be fearful.

We humans fear pain, and more than that, we fear change, and we inherently know, somehow, even those of us among us who wear a perpetual facial expression whose only name could be “DUH,” that whatever it is that is haunting us is doing so for a reason. My thinking is that, at least as of late, while I might not like feeling “meh,” it would be very careless of me not to take full advantage of these planetary pulls when they happen. By this I mean that we all have the option to ask ourselves why it is that we would feel like we do when we are feeling a certain way.

By this, I mean that we have the free will of choice on our side, and we are allowed to choose to do what we will with the energies what we will…and this is the thing in life which we have all been granted…

Choice

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

Maika'i Ka 'Oiwi o Ka'ala - Splendid is the form of Mount Kaʻal

RandyJayBraun.com

 

 

 

 


What have you learned?

Learning never stops. We learn from the time that we breathe our first breath, and we learn until it is time for us to return to our Spiritual Home. Learning is the thing we are meant to do in our time on this earth.

We are meant to learn. We are not brought into this lifetime without a mission and a purpose. While our mission, in some part, might be a collective effort with others, our purpose, I have found, is singly our own to do with what we are meant to. In order to find our purpose, we must be willing to learn, not only about other people, but mostly, about who we are and what is our place in the grander scheme of things.

For centuries we have been herded like sheep to the ideas that we have to stifle and never see become anything, and throughout that time we have been told who we are. Only now have we, many of us, chosen to, not only figure out who we are, but who we are in relation to everything that we see, know, hear, sense. While we are unique, there are things about us all that make us know that there is no way that we were meant to be on this planet, neither in this lifetime, all by ourselves, even though sometimes, when it is that we are at our lowest point, it may well feel like we are just that.

But we aren’t. The one thing that I have learned, thus far, is that we are not now, nor have we ever been, and neither will we be truly all alone. Spirit, She has a funny way of smacking us around with the hot spatula of truth, and the truth that we get smacked with is our very own. The reason that things seem to suck so much is that we cannot see the beauty in the things that have hurt us, that have maimed us and have scarred us to the very marrow of the Bones of the Soul.

We have been told that we only use 10% of our brain, but these days, I find that if we believe that lie, then we will make it a truth, and this is the thing about lies that we are told about us by others – that a lot of us make someone else’s truth our truth, too, and that is where the hurt and the pain is at. I refer much to Einstein telling us that since fish have no ability to climb trees (shoot…let you tell it…whatevahs, bruddah haha), that the fish will think it is somehow not good enough neither able enough to climb trees, unless, of course, someone tells the fish that it is not meant to climb trees.

We learn a whole lot about ourselves from the things that we cannot do, and we cannot do them, sometimes, because very simply, we are not meant to. We are not meant for anything that is going to hurt us, and we are not meant for things that will make us so angry that we feel like we cannot return to our state of peace and loveliness within. We are not meant to compete with each other to the point where winning seems to only thing we can think of. We are not meant to rise to the top of whatever it is that we think we are supposed to be doing by using others in the wrong manner that is selfish and does not also include other people.

We learn that, too, we are not meant to be alone, that along the path that we each walk there are others who are walking in the same direction, and even others, going to the same proverbial place that we know we are headed. We learn that sometimes, it is okay to hurt, and it is okay to be pissed off, and we learn that we don’t have to stay that way, that we can learn from the things and the situations and yes, of course, the people in our lives who we can’t stand but also are not able to see to it they are gone from our lives when we want them to be, because maybe we are being taught to build to that point of learning.

We learn that while we are each unique, that we are similar in that we want the same things, or at least the same energies that other people also want, and those energies include the ability to rise up above the things that shattered us, that made us so angry and hurt us so badly that the only way to get to the other side of it was to, is to not ignore it but to face the monsters head on, even if the darkness which surrounded us was thick and heavy and harsh.

While we are learning everything that we are meant to, and while we are trying hard to make certain that there is a minimal amount of pain that we have to deal with, and while we are not realizing that when it hurts so badly, we are being taught to get through the pain by simply plodding through it, because if we do not face it and go through it, we will not recognize it the next time it shows up. And it always shows up, perhaps dressed differently than it did the last time we hurt badly, but it shows up, the pain, the hurt, the everything that makes us grow and become better through our becoming stronger and through our delving into our own selves for the truths that we each seek that really, we don’t know that we are creating.

We don’t really know, no, not even us who can be called ‘Psychic,” (really…not matter what you might think or have been told and no matter what you have seen on television – each of us is gifted this way, but in different ways..but that is for another blog at a later time) what is in store for us. I mean, yes, there are some of us who might have an idea of the energy, and others who can ‘see’ the end result without knowing what the start of something looks like. My point is that not one of us can accurately predict the future of anyone or for anyone. It is not meant that there will be people who will know everything there is to know all of the time. If that happened, we would never learn anything, ever, because there would be, at our convenience, this thing that we would be able to turn to. That is just too easy.

Life is not meant to be easy. It is meant to be beautiful. It is meant to be a gift that is unwrapped everyday of our lives that we have at our whim and our disposal. Unfortunately, we share the air with people who feel otherwise. There are people, as we all know, who could just say goodbye to their ability to breathe, and while it is that I value life, I also value free will, even and namely when it is something as personal as when we slide into the next level of awareness.

Life is meant to be beautiful, and is meant to be that way by each of our individual hands. We are who create Life, out of nothing at all but the Love within us each, not only for one another, but for Life itself. True, many of us wake up everyday of our lives disdainful and thinking that things just will never get better, that there is no chance for any one of us to have what we want in our lives. No one ever promised us anything (okay, so there are a few I have made that I can think of that I will keep because they are that important) upon entry into this lifetime other than that what we each make of it all completely belongs to the each and every one of us. No one said that it would ever be easy, only that it is worth being here for every moment that we are each meant to be here to experience, no matter what they feel like. We are meant to be here, so we might as well just deal with it already.

No matter what, and unless it is our time to go, we have a chance everyday to look at things as though we are each the author, and the day, a new piece of paper upon which we have the opportunity to write a brand new story. Everyday, we have the chance to wake up, look outside at the sunlight or the rain, hear the birds or the silence, smell the Sun as it wakes the world up, feel the gentle breeze as it caresses our face, and taste the joy that is Life.  Every single day of our lives, we are given this gift, and everyday too many of us take this gift as being a curse. It is not a curse.

Without the ugliness, we cannot recognize what is beautiful, and really, if you bothered to look around you, you would most assuredly find the beauty that is there, because the beauty that is there is subject to change, become more than what you see there, become the embodiment and the actuality of the Divine at work in our lives. Once it is that we can see the reasons why we go through what we go through, things begin to take on a new color, begin to breathe differently, begin to be whatever it was and is that they are meant to be.

Whatever anything is meant to be, it will be, even if we think it will not be, given the things that we see in our awareness at the moment. Everything, at all times, is in a state of evolution, meaning that everything, just like you, and me, and that guy over there with his finger up his nose – all of us are in a constant state of flux, flowing through the ever-presence that is the All That Is, and surprising us in ways our human understanding cannot or will not comprehend on the top of things, but underneath it all, we get it, we understand.

We understand that it is our Kuleana to make it through the days and the nights, make it through the heartaches and make it through the things that crush the very Bones of the Soul.  And there will be a whole lot of things that will give you the things that you might not want, but that you so dearly need, and those things will be what build you, strengthen you, make you know what you are made of. We cannot know what it is that we are made of if we are not willing to look the monster in the eyes and and tell it that we are not scared, that we will be who takes the reigns and that no longer will we fear the things which, on the surface, have the ability to break us, to tear us down and make us bleed from the soul, out.

Eventually, we tire ourselves emotionally, and then one day, without our expecting anything good to happen,  we figure out that all along, we were fine and good, just as we were, and just as we are.

The years go by, and the things that we needed, wanted, knew were ours, finally  find their way to us, and at that moment, everything we went through suddenly makes a whole lot of sense. It is in that moment that we have the proof that we need that on our own, we are powerful, and on our own, we have the ability to change the world we live in, as long as we believe nothing that sounds or acts or seems or feels like what we want is an impossibility.

I am living, breathing, tangible proof that nothing is impossible and that yes, sometimes, the impossible coming into fruition is a pain in the ass.

Deal with it, because the end result is always way better than what we, with our human faculties, can imagine being the truth of us.

I Love You All…

ROX

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Heroes and those who vilify them

We hear so much about bad things, and sometimes, in those bad things that we hear, we also hear about the people in those bad things who can be called a hero. The saddest thing in the world to any of us should not be the bad things that happen, but the bad things that people seek out about the heroes in life. 

We just cannot leave well enough alone, ever. It seems like no matter how many good things people do, other people will take the time to say horrid things about some of the best people in our midst. I am talking about our heroes, the ones who are on the planet trying hard to make things better or easier for others. Lately, we have seen a whole lot about cops being jack-asses, about the infamous Floridian we all know whose last name begins with the letter “Z.” We know all about things that really, no one cares about. And if they care about it, why is it that they seem to have nothing else to lend their attention or their care to?

We are in love with the drama created by the “Bad things”

It’s the truth – we humans love it when there is drama. We love it when we are able to soak it all in, flounder around in it for a while, and get ourselves worked up into a lather. The kicker is that the drama cannot be our own. It is not any kind of fun gossiping about ourselves, and none of us really or actually do that. We love it when someone else’s perfect little life is interrupted by the ugliness that life brings to us as lessons.

Yet, the hardest part of all of this…crap…is watching people say bad things about good people who can be considered as being also heroes. I am talking about the school bus driver who lost his job because he couldn’t allow a kid to go hungry when the cafeteria would not allow him to eat because he owed a mere forty-cents on his lunch bill. I am talking about enlisted who go to war to fight an old man’s war, who gets injured in battle, and are brought home to both a hero’s welcome by his loved ones, but also by those who believe it is his fault that he is injured because they believe, too, that he is enlisted because of anything but what is the truth – that he wants to protect and serve his country.  I am talking about single parents, and grandparents, aunties, uncles, the lady next door. `

I am talking about anyone who, no matter what reason anyone might have, has been vilified for doing the morally right thing.

I would really like to know when it became okay for much of the collective whole of us to forget what it feels like to be the one who everyone wants to blame whatever it is that they will on them, even when what it was that they did was the morally right thing to do. I would really like to know when it became acceptable that we should dig and furrow for the bad in everything, even the good, and especially in the goodness of people. What sickness of the Soul is it that we should look for the worst in people and then, through whatever machinations we will, bring it out of them? Why is it so hard for us to leave good people alone to their own goodness?

I have been, several times, called a hero, because the truth of me is that I refuse to sit by and watch good people get screwed with. Period. I would rather be a hero than the person who turns a blind eye to the injustices placed upon the soul and into the awareness of good people. I know…It is not our business to be the playground supervisor for the world, not ours to make sure that everyone in our midst knows that if they sin, even a little bit, that it is our job to point it out to them and make it known to the world that this very good person, with a big heart and soul, and that this good person may also have issues that anyone at all can have. This is not ours to do… I know- it is not my job to make other people behave.

…just as much as it is not the job of the majority of the populace to vilify heroes.

If there is anything that irritates me more than much else will, it is when people will purposely make it known to anyone about what is none of their business, and it is doubly so when it is that these people will tear heroes down, just so that they, themselves, will not have to feel like they can dangle their feet off of a dime.

Feeling like you can dangle your feet off of a dime is a you thing, not an anyone else thing, and certainly NOT to be placed on the shoulders of the heroes in life

I know what it is like to try, valiantly, to be in the good graces of someone who just is so markedly, terribly unhappy that they just cannot help but make other people miserable, and more, who have no intentions of NOT being miserable. It is almost as though they like it that way. They up the ante a bit when they begin to pick on and take on the role of punisher when it comes to those in their lives who have taken on the role of care taker, stepmom or stepdad who is not creepy, teacher, parent, civic leader, aunt, uncle, neighbor, the enlisted guy down the street, cop, firefighter, etc., etc., and decide, unreasonably, that these people need to be picked on. It is the Overlord of Douche Land who does this. We all know this person.

I know this person really well. These are the ones who like to pass judgement on everything. I will be the last one to say that I have never judged another person in my life. We all do it. We all have an opinion, and in that opinion we end up judging who we are looking at in front of us. In that split second moment we are also called upon, at the same time, to not judge them harshly. There are people who have no idea how to not judge people harshly. They bully others to believe that if anyone knows best, it is them, and that if anyone has the right to talk all that gnarly bullshit, again, it is them.

They are the ones who like to think they know it all, are the ones who think that their truths are also the same truths that others hold. They are the ones who, for the life of them, want to call themselves a survivor when in reality they are just opportunists. These are the people who, no matter what, feel somehow threatened by the heroes in our lives and are also the people who will pitch the biggest bitch about it if their own good deeds do not get the attention that someone with good intention may be receiving. These are those who are in our lives and who take on the role of leader and horribly screw things up, and these are the ones who like to make sure that everyone knows about it when the heroes screw up. In fact, they are the very ones who do the digging, who do the hatin’, who do things that are tabloid worthy and who, most of the time, get away with all of it.

They are the ones in our lives who we want for them to just go away and never return, are the ones who, every time they walk into a room, already have awful things to say about that one person who no one has ever raised an eyebrow about.

That is, until some big mouthed moron comes along and starts runnin’ their gums.

No one is born a hero

It takes a lot to be a hero. It takes a lot of heartaches and LOTS of going through stuff. It takes surviving some of the harshest things in life and coming out of it perhaps bruised in the ego, but absolutely flawless in the Soul. Heroes are not only big, burly super-heroes, but are everyday people who just simply give a damn about other people, period.  These people expect no fanfare, expect no thank you, and do what they do for other people, not for the glory of it, but because it is right and good to do good things for other people.

Heroes are those people who, for whatever reason they might have, will not allow other people to not be who they are for real, and when someone else steps in and starts making things terrible for them, a hero will walk on in, do what they do, and no matter what, will stay there until the right outcome is had by the person who needed the assistance.

It takes so very little for any one of us to do the right thing, but the one thing that we do rather than the right thing is wait until someone else says they will. Glory hounds do that. Arrogant douche bags do that.

Heroes do not.

They are here for the purpose of protection – NOT so that people can talk sh*t about them

People talk. In fact, people talk without thinking. In fact, people talk without thinking, act without considering the outcome, hear only what they can take away from a conversation that will make themselves, at least in their own heads, appear to be actually having some sort of clue about who they are talking all that trash about. The most beautiful thing about this is that no matter what – Karma, she is a far bigger bitch than any one of us could even conjure a thought about, and it is in those moments that we think we are passing information, really and actually we are talking shit about someone else, and we are also creating our own karmic debt.

This is the part that people who talk sh*t about other people in an endless manner do not think about. I think my most favorite part about these types of personalities is that somehow they are clueless to the energy that they are creating for themselves. At the time they are runnin’ their gums, they are only aware that at that moment, they are the ones who have the best gossip, and they are who everyone is giving their attention to, and at the moment, it is all about them.

You can sit there and think to yourself that this has been you once or twice, and there are a few people who I know are sitting there reading this who are already okole sore over the things that they have read in this writing. If you are upset because I have pointed out the stump in your okole, don’t sweat it, because someone had to tell you about it, given that you were so busy pointing out the splinter in everyone else’s eyes. When it came time for you to start your crap about someone who actually is an awesome person, and you lied and you did what you did, and you hurt someone else, at that point, not only did you become an Overlord of Doucheland, you also became Karmic fodder. (Yeah, I said it- deal with it)

When you say awful things about people who are good, about people who do good, not only in their own lives but also in the lives of others, you are setting up your own Karmic debt. When you do things that are spawned from lies, from the intention that is nowhere near a good one, from a place that is vengeful and filled with only the pain that you intend to place onto someone else, not only are you a piece of garbage, but you are, at that point, also giving those people who you keep messin’ with the energy that is coming back bigger than life, who,at one time, may have been a perceived zero, but none the less, is now a hero in the making.

I say hero because once it is that you have been screwed with enough, and once it is that you have had no reason to be reasonable, and once it is that you have been to hell and back, and once you have come to the conclusion that you can either allow all this garbage to fester and rot within you and you decide that maybe you can come back from this event called “life” that was happening to you and not for you….once it is that you have survived all of the heartache, and once it is that you have been made, by your own hand even, able to deal with damned nearly anything that any one Overlord of Doucheland throws at you…

…well, that is about the same time that you realize that you have become your very own hero and that you can, without a thought, also go out into the world to do good for and with others.

And it all came about because someone -perhaps a bunch of someones- decided to vilify the good works of people who truly and only wanted to do something good for other people.

Don’t be douchey- the stink you create that comes from your overblown ego will need a lot more than vinegar and water…

Heroes – they are not ever born. They are created from the ashes left by the coals of the fires of Life.

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

PISCESWATERELEMENT CANCERWATERELEMENT

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Starting from 1

Sometimes it seems that the only thing we can do is to start over. When this happens, and keeps on happening is when we really need to consider doing things over again, if for no other reason than that we have no other alternative.

As a writer I am well aware of the tiny little bits of fear that any one of us who writes has when we are embarking on a new writing project. It is not that we are scared to write, but that we do not know what to write. Indeed, a clean sheet of paper is both beautiful and scary all at one time. No one I know who is also a writer will tell me or anyone else that I am wrong about this. The fact of the matter is that our words are like our kids, and because we care about them so dearly, what ends up on that paper matters a whole lot. Like our kids we want to dress up our words so that people will take notice, will bother to read them more than one time and most of all, will love what those words say.

But I am not talking about the words, or the sheet of paper in terms of writing. I am using it as an example to make clear to anyone reading this that just like I will delete, tear up, incinerate anything that does not meet what standards I have for just about anything, I will also look at what is in front of me exactly as it is and see there only that only one of two things can happen with that mess or those words – I can either fix it and hopefully save what is there and build on to it, or, I can start over.

The hardest thing to do sometimes is to just begin again

No one likes starting over again, because starting over again means that somewhere along the lines we skipped a step. This is only partially true, and is only partially true because for the most part all beings like second chances.  When the do over hurts, though, and when we are hesitant to start is when we also know that we really would benefit from the change.

Humans, we do not like change, at all, and this dislike for something that is always going to happen is the reason that so many of us seem to be stuck on pause for a lot of the time. It isn’t that this is the truth. It is that we are paying attention more to what others are having come into their lives that causes us to look at our own and see what is not there rather than what is so there and blatantly so.  I say and write much about the nature of relationship, about how it is that we need dearly to be very clear when stating our own needs, not only to others, but our selves.

Yep – you read it correctly. There are a lot of us who are still more inclined to do for others that which we would not even do for ourselves. And we are doing this stuff for people who also would never do this same thing for us. We wonder more than we do not about why it is that we hurt so badly, and part of the reason is that we have overextended ourselves on behalf of other people. We are so worried what other people think of us, think of who we are, that we are not worried about what we think of us. There comes a time in our lives, more than one time, really, where we are given options and none of the options are good ones. This is when I liken our lives to a brand new sheet of paper.

A brand new sheet of paper upon which to begin authoring a brand new story called “Life”

Let’s not kid ourselves – sometimes, life just sucks, and it is then when it sucks that we have to decide if we are okay with it sucking so badly. If we are fine with what goes on, again and again, and we are okay with the absolute insanity that is doing things over and over again for nothing to change, then this writing is not for you. In fact, if it is that you find yourselves doing and saying and seeing and hearing the same things, over and over again, it is not only that you and other people are already pau hana with it, but that even your Guides are coming to you through others to make it known to you that you have gotta start paying attention to what you think of your life.

If you don’t pay attention to what is not that great in your life, you will not know what is really great in your life, and not about others, but about you. If you don’t take the time to do for yourself as much as you are willing to do for other people, you will be robbing yourselves of what it is that we all so badly need. What we need are things like being able to handle being let down, just like we need to be able to handle NOT being let down. (Yes – NOT being let down). We need to be able to deal with people not liking us or wanting to spend time with us, and more than that, we need to be able to deal with them wanting to do both! If we are not able to deal with the uglies in life, how the hell are we going to be able to deal with things when they are not so ugly? The reason I ask?

Dealing with the ugliness of life

You may find it difficult to fathom, but we humans have a tougher time with the afterward part of the niceness of life. This means that there are a lot of us who, for a long time now, have had the luck of nothing but niceness. After a long time of nothing but niceness, and after a long time of our only being met with that niceness, we get used to ONLY the niceness. It is when the niceness takes a turn and things begin to get ugly that we see how it would have served us to just go through whatever it was that hurt us at the time that it was hurting us. We are so prone to the rose-colored life, so much more open to it than we are to the reality of dealing with equally balanced niceness and ugliness, that we actually take away from our own selves the ability to maintain balance.

We are born with the ability to cope, but are not born with the experiences it will take for us to be able to cope.  I am brought to the thought of kids who are given too much, too soon, who are never told “no,” and whose parents cannot cope with the spoiled children they now feel compelled to complain about. I am brought to the thought of people who, when they have been handed everything in their lives, either by parents or others who are just too inclined to NOT deal with a child having a snit right now, or because said children would bully people to get what they want from others, and am brought to this thought because I know a whole lot about the nature of bullies. I was bullied a lot.

The one thing that remains to be truth and fact about a bully is that a bully stops at nothing, not even physical assault, to get their way. The worst sort of bully is the sort who will grow up and become a bully who refuses to see things any other way than their own. By this I mean that throughout history, the biggest bullies were the very ones who held so much perceived power that once it was that they’d been shown, by their own hand even, that they were not all they thought themselves to be, it becomes ugly. This is where most domestic violence starts – when the attacker has placed themselves so high upon their own pedestal that when the day comes and their victim finally stands up and starts to live their life as a survivor. I know this animal, quite well and not happily so. It is the fear of inadequacy that most abusers do not deal with, because ALL abusers seem to believe that they are above a whole lot, but the one thing they think they are is above reproach, that they are somehow not prone to being corrected when they are wrong.

It is not most of the time that these types are wrong, but ALL of the time.  Yet they rarely ever know this and it is not only because no one tells them that they are wrong, but that they do not know how to be wrong and how to cope with it at the same time. MANY people on this planet are JUST like this. I know it personally, because I was forced to be this and was so forced by someone who took it for granted that a ridiculous piece of paper with their last name attached to my first name somehow and suddenly made me like a pet who must obey. I was bullied with everything this man could bully me with.

Then one day I figured that it was all up to me and that I had to make a choice between continuing to believe what was his truth of me and according to him, or THE truth that I knew to be all mine and solely created by me. I had to take the option to live my way or to ingest a whole bottle of his pain medication. I had to choose to save me and to let him suffer the injustices set out by him at me but that ended up affecting him more than it will ever affect me, ever again.

It can’t, because I know my truth. It can’t, because I have been confirmed of my truth by others. It can’t, because I won’t let it, and it can’t, simply because I have already set out on the path of this part of my life, and he is nowhere or anywhere in it. At all. At least not in the manner that he was to begin with.  Does he “get it?” Probably not. The real question should be, “How much do you care, Rox, if he gets it?” The only answer is “not a lot, if at all,” and it is NOT only because of one particularly way gnarly cool thing which I am calling a very important milestone in my life that happened about a month ago (completely goo here, folks lol), but also because I am the creator of my life. No one else has that ability and neither the capacity to build my life for me.  No one knows me like I know me.

No one knows how I personally deal with crisis, just like I am not privy to know how other people deal with it.  It is not my purpose on this planet to judge others, to tell them how they need to do things my way or that they need to only pay attention to being nice and wonderful to everyone. It is my shared purpose to let people, singularly and in communities, know that things that are not of the highest energy are more easily gone away than is the hard fight that it will take in order to raise us, collectively, to a place where things just seem to be what they are meant to be and not what they stagnate as being. It is yet another shared purpose, of which I have many and with many different types of people, of mine to become the example of what it means to be someone’s other half, to be someone’s best friend and confidante, to be the one person who anyone at all can rely on, if for anything at all, for the truth. It is my shared purpose with other women like me, to embark out into the wild world, to set the standard of what it is that we, as humans and the bearers of generations to come, should aspire to. It is my purpose, on my own, yet so not alone, to be the prime example of that which can be called Unconditional Love.

I would know none of these things had I not experienced the nastiness that was my life, a life which came rife with hurt, with people walking all over me, with things that broke me, that shattered my heart and made me hurt all the way down to the very bones of the soul within me. Had I not chosen to go headlong into the fracas of pain, every time I chose to, I would not be able to tell anyone that indeed, there is always another side.

We just have to be willing to walk over the hot coals of emotional pain, through the icy coldness of rejection, through the tumultuous nature of other people, period.

It is our willingness, not to suffer, but to learn, that makes it so that we have a chance, again and again, to Start from 1.

Yes…a chance, toward greatness, toward healing and most of all, toward love and peace within.

I LOVE YOU ALL

ROX

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