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The New Moon

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The moon is one thing that we all have in common every day and night. We look to the sky to seek her soft, comfortable glow. Little do too many of us realize the powerful energy available to us when the moon is new.

The Moon.

Like the Sun behind the darkness of rain clouds, we can guarantee that even if we cannot see her there in the night time sky, She is still there. The moon can be  thought of as “mother,” and the Sun “father.” In our birth charts they are the first two and probably the most important two, along with the rising sign (our game face), of all of the signs and planets and positions in our birth charts.

Yet, there is another part of this…weirdness, another part that lots and lots of people don’t understand.

Yes, the reason that you feel the way that you feel right now IS directly related to the moon, the phase it is in, and…

…what sign your moon sign is in.

You see, whether you want to believe me or not, and whether you want to absorb the idea that every one of us is affected by the moon, her phases and the rest of the planets is not on me to decide.

You can decide that I am full of garbage, and decide that you hold the ultimate fate that you will meet one day, and you can choose to think that I am somehow off of my rocker but I am telling you the truth when I say that we are dearly affected by the moon and the phases that she goes through every month.

“Moon Time”

Women are inextricably connected to the moon and her phases. Our bodies follow the cycle of the moon, and we are dearly affected by it when the energy of the moon changes. The energy of the moon changes when the sign of the moon changes. When the sign of the moon changes, whatever is our personal lunar sign is affected by the qualities of whatever sign the moon is in.

Right now the moon is in fiery Aries. Folks with their moon represented by a fire sign and dependent upon which fire sign it is in will determine their feelings and how those feelings are presented outwardly.

What also affects us is when the sign the moon is in transitions into the next sign. In my case, this last change of signs really messed with me, but because I chose this time to ponder through feeling what I was feeling, and because I chose to make it so that I would be consciously aware of what I was feeling and why, I came up with the reason why I trip out when specifically the moon changes from a water element moon to a fire element moon. Particularly when the moon changes from dreamy Pisces, to action oriented Aries.

When the moon hits your Soul, never mind your eye…

The planets and their energies are all directed by gravity, but you all already know this. The Earth’s gravitational pull is what determines how far or near the moon appears to be during its phases. Again, you already know this.

What you might not know is that, every single day of our lives, we are affected by the moon and the planets and what signs and houses they are in astrologically. For instance, I was born with my lunar sign as Taurus, the bull. Taurus is a fixed, feminine (receptive) sign. The moon rules our inner selves, our emotional selves. When the moon is in a water sign, depending upon which sign and the planets and all that other good, weird stuff, determines my attitude as drawn out emotionally.

The moon is in a masculine (outward and the world can see it) sign in Aries right now. Aries is a cardinal sign, and cardinal signs are about action. Aries is the sign of action, of gettin’ things done, and Aries, for the most part, plows through things, most of the time without thinking about it. Aries is about “Me, myself, and I” (thanks Dr. Standley). Taurus is about leisure and comfort, about the beautiful things in life and how we love and cherish them. Taurus is a fixed sign, and “n the moon,” is the most stable sign emotionally.

When the moon is in a water sign, most of us who have Taurus as our lunar sign will be fine and dandy, again, dependent upon which water sign it is in, and if I had to choose it, I would have to go with Scorpio, because it, too, is a fixed sign (meaning that it will do things this way, feel things this way, think about things this way, and dammit – we ain’t budgin’), and also, Pisces, because it is mutable (meaning that those with a Pisces moon…a Pisces anything, in that house or planet that it sits in, are not totally set on one way and one way only…keep reading…).

When it comes to the Cancer moon, because it is a cardinal sign, my Taurus seems a bit uncomfortable, or maybe it is that my inner Bull does not like the emotional currents of the Cancerian moon.  Wherever it is in my chart, your chart, everyone’s chart that Cancer resides is what makes all the difference in the world.

My Cancer resides in my 12th house. The 12th house scares people because that is where our secrets and everything Karmic is that we have to learn is at. Cancer represents home, hearth and family. If you have read anything by me as presented in my music blog, you would know why I would say that I have never been the most favored in my family, at least on one side of it, and yes, it helped shape who I became.

When the moon is in the sign of Cancer, every little emotional “thing” that affects me about the home, the hearth, nurturing, the family, “mother”…all of it comes crashing into me because the moon in our chart shows us emotionally, who we are. (Again, mine is in Taurus – the most stable sign for the moon to be in, which is a very good thing given my Pisces sun and Leo rising, and hell yes my 12th house in Cancer – the 12th house is ruled by my Pisces).

What the moon is doing when it changes both phases and signs, and wherever it is that our sign is positioned will tell us how we are being affected and why. I just told you about the Cancerian moon, sort of, and here is where I was going with that…

Whatever house it is that the actual moon is in at any given time will absolutely affect us emotionally in whatever house that sign is in. Cancer is ruled by the moon.

When the moon is in Cancer, my 12th house lights up like a Las Vegas billboard and everything within that house that the moon is shining its glow on will be revealed, meaning that all of my secrets and hurts and karma stuff is going to be in my face and I am going to feel every bit of it, given that how we feel is directed by the moon, its phase and the sign that it is in, and also the house, or area of life, it is in in my birth chart.

This does not mean that for those three days that the moon is in a certain phase and sign that I am no longer a lunar Taurean. It means that whatever sign the moon is in, not only will the house that the sign is in will be shed light on, but also, my bull will take on shades of, in this case today, April 18, 2015, the ram, Aries.

That the bull is a fixed sign is one thing, but that the new moon in Aries wants to forge ahead with the things that are near and dear to the Taurean moon in my chart is not a mistake. Right now, I am contemplating where it is that I would like for my hula halau (Dance studio) to be in operation.

For the last five years I have been figuring out what my halau is about (healing from the soul, out), and for the last year, I have been figuring out if I want to continue with the private healing sessions (umm…not primarily, no…how will I get paid only doing this Hula thing that way?), or do I want to go back to group lessons for lunch time sessions (ummm…that’s okay but lately I have not been doing that at all so this means that it is likely time to just restructure that or simply just not have that anymore…remains to be seen), or, if I want to do both of those things AND teach like I have always taught, which is once or twice a week, during the week, for two or three hours split into two days or two or three hours once a week (Probably the latter…again…wait and see…).

What you have just read is not only my Bull (astrologically known as the CEO) thinking, but, the new moon in Aries (the go-to sign…and also the sign of war) getting impatient with me and my Bull for not making things easier so that we can get a move on with it already (this would be the fish in the Sun as Pisces, being a safe little goldfish when really, she is a Shark and needs to be reminded of that…which is the Aries New Moon’s job…)

“What’s your point, Rox?”

My point is that during the new moon phase, and depending upon the sign which the moon is in at the time will determine the things that we are more inclined or not inclined to do and indeed EVERYTHING that is emotionally tied to those inclinations). Right now the moon is in Aries, and as I have already stated, Aries is the sign of action, because it is a fire sign. Fire signs represent action.

Since the Bull in my chart is the CEO, and the fish in my chart is the real me, and the game face in my chart is Leo, the lion (duh…ever seen my hair? There’s a reason my mom used to tell me to brush my hair because I LOOKED LIKE A BABY LION…think about it) and since all of these things point to my creating new ways to implement things in terms of my working life (my moon sits in my tenth house of public life in a career way, my game face in first house allows me to hide the terrified me in Pisces sun when speaking publicly about the terrors of emotional abuse).

Since it is a fiery new moon in Aries, the only thing that all of these things is pointing to is that I need to continue forward, be brave in the face of the naysayers, and not give a shit about what others think of me and my Medicine Dance, my being a teacher of all things “weirdness,” my writing things that I write, and mostly, my being who I really am through it all and in spite of other things.

Of course, there are other things in my chart that will implement this lunar Arien energy right now as it is helping my sometimes “thought-lazy” bull get her okole up to do what she is best at, is helping my stuck-in-an-aquarium-and-convinced-it-is-a-goldfish-but-is-really-a-shark Pisces sun, and making my Leo rising (the high priestess, NOT the queen, at least in this instance) that much more compelled to not only strive for that which She has always striven for (excellence), but to also absorb that which she has earned in terms of knowing one’s self enough to not be taken by it when the moon hits her soul like sometimes it will…

…and sometimes, it will hit the soul like a brick hitting a brittle window and crashes through the rose-colored hue that not a lot of people are willing to try to crack because the Pisces is both the goldfish and the shark, and the Pisces is who will take it all in and for the most part, take it all wrong. The lioness only seeks to be seen.

The Bull?

You can think of her as the one who, solidly grounded in her strength, is the driving force which the Aries new moon pushes to succeed, even in the face of difficult circumstances.

I Love You All

Aloha… ROX 

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The Days Which Leave Us Aching

I know that I am not only speaking for myself when I say that lately, the days and nights have seemingly melted into the miry abyss that is “Awwww F*CK! AGAIN?!!!” … Yes…again…

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I don’t know about any of you who are reading this, but I am about as tired as a person can get, and it is not just any level of tired, but a tiredness that is deep, a tiredness that makes a person ache for better days, wanting for nights which end peacefully, and most of all, the start of the second half of each of our lives, and naturally, the second half which includes all the new people in it that we each have called into our lives and who each have a place there.   There are people who, for years, were not there, but are back and there now, and like the new ones, we know they are permanent.

And really…no bullshit…it is quite nice.

Think about it for a minute, and you will realize that, even though (yep…I’m just going to say it) collectively, life seems to be daily taking a large, nasty crap on the whole of us, it has bonded us to one another. Each of us has this new breath of life in some manner, everyday. It is that one thing, no matter what it is for the each of us, that keeps us going. No, really, again…think about it, and you will figure it all out – things suck ass right now, even though, paradoxically, they sort of rule.

Sorta ruling is better than completely sucking

It is not that easy to try to get anyone to change their thinking habits. Thoughts are habits, really, and the manner in which we think them is also physically a habit. Some of us sit to think, and many of us, when we are in a solitary moment of brainstorming our lives in conjunction with the Goddess’ plan for them, pace.

I pace.

I pace, because I know that brainstorming one’s own life is not only delicate work, but tedious, and really, it is downright dirty work. And not the kind that you need soap for, but the sort you need to have strength of soul for, seriously. At this time there are a lot of people in my life, people who are very, very close to me, with whom I have shared a lot of time, spoken a lot of words, shared much laughter, and all of it is meant in order for me to get to this point where I actually DO know who I can trust.

This is the dirtywork I am talking about, and it is dirty because right now, we have what I have always called a “balance of extremes.” If you thought about it long enough, and let your brain stew about it all, and could, from a third party state of mind, take a very scrutinizing and painful look at what it is that we have each and all been hiding, not only from others, but from ourselves, we would realize that we are each and all hiding about what we are hiding.

That is what all of this is about right now. Take, for example, my tenth house. It is ruled by the moon in my chart, which is in Taurus. Taurus is the CEO of the Zodiac. And Taurus behaves like it – no lie. So, because of this, it is almost like me to wade through the hallways of my own mind, and in the water of my own thoughts, about how many times I really, dearly tried to work for someone, in contrast to my working WITH someone else, and it was always when I worked WITH someone else that I got the best results.

I know this about me, that I do not like being told what to do unless I ask for help. Period. Yes. I was indeed one of those kids who always wailed “I WILL DO IT BY MYSELF!” and normally I meant it. I hate asking for help. Anyone who knows me knows this about me. I am a freedom loving person. And everything about me, even the people with whom I spend the most time, whether on the phone or in person, or both, knows this about me. I do not want anything else for them than that which I would want for me, which, is freedom, but from what?

I figured something out. It is not a “from what,” at all. It is a “for.”

“For”

The freedom to be me so that I can do FOR other people, that which I also do for myself. That is what this is all about. Meaning that, if I ask someone to help me, it is only because I know that, if it were the other way around, they know I would do what I can, even if it is a minimal thing. How this is any way at all tied to the title of this writing is coming…I promise…the reason that I have used this as my example is because, in the company called “ROX, Inc.,” I am every employee. They way that I treat my employees is the way that I hope to be treated in return. There are several of them who could fine tune their skills, and there are a few who need some serious help, and there are those who are bad asses and they know they are, and then, there is the person in charge.

And right now, the person in charge is going through the employee files and seeing which one of her people needs to brush up, needs to clean up, needs to shut the fuck up, and which ones whose time is up…and really, guys, it is down and dirty dirty work. For reals.  It is not easy in real life to tell people that they are not doing what they know they are supposed to, and eventually, we have to excuse them from our lives. Most of the time, it is people who have been there at a constant, getting away with less than attractive qualities about themselves, expecting that they should continue to get away with treating anyone else in a manner which would be unacceptable to themselves.

The hard part of cleaning of the things in our own personal “Inc” is that, what we are looking at with people who are physically in our lives and who we know no longer belong there is a piece, a mirror of ourselves, and what they are showing us is that, whatever it is that is bothering us that is alive in them is also alive in us. The people who we cannot stand the most, I am finding out, are the people who have qualities in them that makes us feel a certain way about ourselves and this continues to happen until we go through our “employee files” and go through them with a fine tooth comb and one by one, promote, or fire, those who warrant those actions. It is through these assholes in our lives that we find the inner employees who need to eitehr shape up, or get the hell gone. In my case…there are a lot of my inner employees who have been pink-slipped, permanently.

And it was not an easy thing to do, letting them go, but I had to. If I hadn’t, I might not be where I am now, which is a LOT better than where I last was.

Seriously…I have been asked…what is the thing that this …firing…of pieces of ourselves do for us?

Here, let me tell you a story….actually, it is an observation that, over time, became something that I just really began to study, literally, in every way possible that I could. I began to make a study of peoples’ habits and what I found out is that our habits are a response to theirs. This includes our personal energetic responses.

When someone does or says something that bothers us, we immediately have a bodily response. Normally, our gut will tell us. When there’s a knot the answer is “NO.” The only way to make the knot from the NOT go away is to rethink the word…like this…and yes, it took me a while to learn to do it.

But I did it. I’m still doing it.

When it was that I knew I was being baited for at least a pain in the ass argument with anyone, instead of buying into their bullshit, I allowed them their moment. I stayed silent. It took me a long time to respond (by not responding), and a long time to really listen to this person and realize that for years, I had been defending myself for nothing, because all of the things that this madman was saying to me was meant to hurt me. It took me time to no longer have an emotional response. I realized, this week even, that all these years, I had been, through my own defending myself against the ridiculous lies that were hitting me in the ears all the time, validating a madman.

The madwoman in me chose to no longer allow the madman in. Because the madwoman is good on her own, and really has, instead of choosing to entertain madmen, chosen to cozy up to her own truth. My own truth was that I knew I hadn’t been treated well, because when I saw others being treated in that same way it made me really, really mad. To the point where I would react, very poorly. The day I caught it was probably the most freeing day I ever had, because I saw what I thought I had been hiding behind NOT hiding it.

I don’t do bravado, but on that day, I found out that I do catty really, really well, and I did not like it. It was not needed. I find that I like me way more when I choose brainy. Brainy gets it done correctly every time these days. Where once I was a very impatient pain in the ass, I find it to be a far more  savory experience, not only knowing that I can control myself, a LOT better these days, but that, catty comes in handy here, where it is that now, I do not have to respond to any asshole human beings. My response is just really to have no response. And like an actual cat who ignores its human, I assume, and somehow enjoys it, it is quite the experience to watch someone who is planning on you losing it, lose it.

It took me a long time to learn to do this. It took me a long time to decide that this person who chose to hurt me when they could just have NOT, did so, and it was not until I chose to no longer let the madman in that I realized I could clean house, so to speak. I could choose NOT to emotionally feel my way through all of the things that my Piscean brain conjures within itself. Instead, when it is that I need to knock my own shit off, I lean on the bull, on the Taurean moon, on the part of me that emotionally, even being a Pisces, I am able to deal with things.

Lots of things, I found out.

The pressure is on, guys

The pressure is on for us all to do whatever it is that we have to do in order to be our best, highest selves. This means that through this energy, we find that there are a LOT of things that we do that we do not need to do, and likely no longer need that energy in our lives.  Reread that – there are habits that we perform that we are not aware that we are performing that, for the life of us, we cannot seem to let go of. We each have habits that we have, that annoy the hell out of us, but we believe we are helpless to do anything about.

The truth is, though, that we are not helpless, at least not when it comes to our own habits. We created the habits, and yes, we might have had some help from other people in the creation of those habits, but none the less we are who is responsible for them, including and even and especially the breaking or changing of those habits.

This is what I mean by the pressure is on us to do something, anything, to make the “ugh” of the current moment not so “ugh.”

We don’t realize that we are who makes our own lives somewhat difficult, and it is not for a lot else more than the way that we react, rather than respond, to certain situations in our lives. I am not suggesting at all that the things that,in our lives, do not warrant our having the reactions that we do, do not have the energy and neither the potential to make us nutty from the inside out. I am suggesting, though, that there are a lot of different, creative ways that we can look at the things that are making us crazy with frustration, with fear, with all the things that we need to look at, but are thinking we are helpless to do a thing about them all, and that once it is that we have created another, new habit, we find out that we were fearful for reasons other than the obvious ones.

We do not have control over other people. We have control over ourselves, and in that control we have the power to do, or not do, something about anything at all.

It isn’t easy not handling things the way that we always have. It isn’t easy trying to look at them all and not see the pile of shit there that needs us to do something about it. It is easy, though, to step ahead of our reaction, think about why we are reacting, and easy to practice responding to it all.

Sometimes we do not realize that a change in our outer circumstances is the heads up that we need from the Universe telling us that it is our turn…

…sometimes, it is the pressure that we feel from the way that we have always reacted to anything that is what needs to be changed rather than the outer circumstances.

It rarely, if ever, is anything outside of us that is bothering us. It usually, if not always, is how we feel and emote about what is happening that needs to be different…

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX

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