Tag Archives: gifts

The Ego’s Unforgiving Ridiculousness

I’m not about to tell anyone that we do not need our Egos, because we do. LOADS of people haven’t a clue about what the Ego truly is, even though every single one of us has employed its ridiculousness on more than only one occasion. However, not so coincidentally, it is because of our egos that we are able to hang on to things that really, we need to forgive other people for so that we can move forward.

At this time, there is a plethora of human beings on this planet for whom the engagement of the Ego when thinking in terms of not just going into some sort of …heated exchange…with another human being, over anything at all, seems to be the habit, the …addiction… to the hormonal imbalance which is caused by our being able to go toe to toe in an emotional exchange more often than is needed.

Yes – hormonal.

If you think and believe for a moment that the things that are the constant thought in your head…and no, I am not talking about you being you…I am talking about you being you, then someone comes along and interrupts you being you, at a constant, which releases hormones and the like, into your physical body, at a constant, again…do not forget that…and you are not balanced at all times with a good teeter-totter of both negative and the corresponding positive thoughts, which produce the same within each of us, you will…WILL end up out of sorts.

This is called your body telling you that it is already overly filled with the bullshit that other people bring to you. This is called your body needing you to take notice that something is not right, and normally, no matter what, even if it is a hereditary thing you have goin’ on, all of that ego-negative-bullshit going on WILL take its toll. You are not required to believed a single thing that you read here, and you are absolutely allowed to ignore this, and if you do, I will not know, and that, too, is okay…


Understand that, right at this moment, there is a lot of growin’ goin’ on and that, too, not a whole lot of people who are in the middle of the most horrifically painful spiritual growth spurt are aware that what is going on is their Souls are stretching, are growing so as to accommodate who they are for real. Too many people want to hang on to the things that are acceptable on the surface, things and ways of being which are not going to serve them any longer, and things that, for the very life of me, I do not understand why anyone would want to hold onto that crap!

LOTS AND LOTS of people…perhaps more than even I realize, are caught right there, in that crux between letting things go and moving on, and hanging onto things that they like believing keeps them safe, but safe from what? Growth? That’s not safe to hang onto things that hurt us without a purpose for hurting us. In fact, that isn’t even smart because when we hang on, it is like we somehow cannot rid ourselves of the pain because we are somehow addicted to the drama which we bring about from it, should we hang on to it for longer than is needed (YES- NEEDED).

Hiding from things that we know are meant to make us stronger than we have ever known ourselves to be, in ways that we cannot imagine only serves to weaken us. When we are able to face what it is that we fear (believe it or not, the one thing that MANY MANY humans fear is being loved for real, because they cannot see themselves as worthy of it…what-EVER…) we are then and at that point telling ourselves that we are tired of the things that hurt us and that if we should so choose to look at those things in a manner that is from a neutral place, a place that is not ourselves in physical form but ourselves in a soul sense, we will begin to understand a whole lot more than we thought we did.

We will understand that there is a thing called forgiving ourselves for not being able to let go of the things that have been breaking our hearts, over and over again, on purpose, even, and we will be able to see, too, that we are not bad, that we are worthy of our own Love, for ourselves, because too many of us give away the Love within us, thinking that the more that we give, the more we will get back. Yet, it won’t happen that way if we do not recognize what it is for real. More, it also won’t happen if we do not Love ourselves for real.

Just because someone else hurts your feelings by whatever means they will hurt them, and even if they are being vindictive about it and perhaps even meant to do it, this does not mean that we need to retaliate in the manner that they would expect. It means that right at that moment, we have the option to choose, not only what our response will be,  if we will even bother with one – because sometimes, no words, no response is the greatest, most healing thing we can hope for.

Now, I am not suggesting here, with this next thing, that it is okay to lie to anyone, not even if it is meant to save someone else for their own good, but, even what seems to be the most unforgivable thing is also warranted by and needs that energy, because without it, it stays right there, in the manner that it is, right this moment, which, really, if you stepped outside of your own way, you might be able to see what is there for real.

You might be able to know that, without it being said or even implied, that somehow, even though a lie isn’t cool, sometimes, it is the very thing which will instill in us that thing called a wake up call, and that wake up call is not about anyone else BUT ourselves. Yet, most of the time, most folks and their egos are way too arrogant to see it that way because they are still living in that hurt placed on them so long ago…in that hurt that might not have been placed there on purpose or for malicious reasons. It doesn’t make it right – it makes humans, human.

And for the record – nope, I am not writing about anyone or anything in particular, but rather and only a culminated thought about why it is that we humans tend to need what we need, and when it shows up in a manner that we don’t understand, or comes from a place where we least expect it – whether it is a lie, or perhaps some other thing that no one seems to understand – not only are we hurt, but it is doubly so. When finally it happens, we are at a loss but at a loss because we were not prepared well enough or on our own and through our own abilities to handle what it is, which is not what a lot of ego-driven people want to believe it is. At all.

We are, all of us, at least once in our lives, ego-driven

The Ego gets a very bad rap. It is like this because a long time ago a whole bunch of people decided that they would tell the world what the ego is. We have all been raised by a society which tells us that what we have tells the world who we are, but that is not the case these days. What we have, literally, is only our very selves. Sure, we all have other people in our lives, but, when it is our time to return to Spirit, we are by ourselves, and we are the ones who have left a lot behind, and sometimes what we leave behind is the residue of the hurt that we suffered throughout our lives, which is the hurt that we could not let go of even and up to that point.

It is the Ego which tells us that we should or should not protect certain aspects of who we are.

When the time comes that we are hurt, even egregiously so, it is our ego self that comes to the forefront. It is our ego self that either can hang with the hurt and can help us get out of the way of more harm and how to do that. Just as much as it is our ego self who, when it has been challenged, will puff its chest out, get mouthy and daring, saying things and doing things that will only serve to cause havoc and more damage. The bitch of it all is that it is not only damage to others, but most of all, that damage is something that we, ourselves, cannot and will not ever escape.

When first we practice to put a hurt on someone, namely when we are aware of ourselves doing it, it is at that moment that, too, we are also putting it on ourselves, that same hurt that we wanted someone, anyone else, namely and especially someone who we say that we love. This does not mean that we do not love them when we get angry with them, but when we get angry with them and choose to not forgive them is when the reality should hit home that if we want others to forgive us, then we have to practice it ourselves, both with others, as well as our very selves.

It is the same that thing I teach other people, this art of forgiving those who have wronged us. And believe me when I tell you that indeed, it is a true art form because the fact of the matter is that, as a whole, humanity does not like its truth, even a fabricated truth, fucked with.

We do not like our beliefs, do not like the things that we like, do not like our sheltered little lives fucked with, at all, and when it is that someone has come along, regardless of what their intentions were at the time of the failure and gives us a lesson in love that we are not ready to deal with, it shows.

This means that when we are told that something will happen on a given date, or that what we want to happen can happen, or really, anything at all in the manner that tells us that somehow, we are about to score huge, at the same time that we are made happy, we also need to be very keenly aware, as well, of the reason as to why we are happy.

We know that if we are happy because we thought we were lied to about a whole lot of things, only to find out that not the thing, but the timing of the thing, was not what we thought it would be, and we go on to say that we believe that the thing is GOING TO happen on this date, and it doesn’t happen…whether or not we can handle it in the manner that is telling us that we can deal with it, or whether we are telling the story of how we, alone, were wronged without also looking at the other things that maybe someone else was looking at, even as it is the same thing, we have some serious self-checkin’ that has to happen because without that self-checkin’ the thing that happens afterwards and until we do so is called self-wreckin’.


Self-Wreckin’ is that thing that all of us does, guaranteed. We are humans, and my experience with humans on the whole is that, while it is that we are way, way cool biological as well as ethereal specimens, given that we are born with the ability to reason, means that we also have the ability to be highly unreasonable. This is not to say that none of us who is evolved enough to know better won’t, for a few minutes now and again, find ourselves somewhat a bit devolved. It means that we are human and capable of being our greatest shot at being undone.

The only way that other people wreck us is if we allow it, and even then, when it is that we have one thing, one goal, one place that we see with our mind’s eyes that we cannot let go of because to us, that is the perfection of our own making, and that is the thing that we need to look at, in its face and not be afraid to let it go.

You see, I have lots of clients who do not understand this, lots of students who want to think past the teacher, which is fine, because I did that too, recently even, and yes, I had to face a hurtful truth that pissed me off and while it did not make me feel foolish, it indeed DID make me know that sometimes, when the lesson is taught and we have learned, the only thing left to do is vent out the feelings to a trusted person, and then finally just let it all go, including the person who caused the ache.

Our Ego-Self is the part of us that tells us that we have to protect who we are, but the problem with that is that sometimes, we go into parent mode and we want to save our own selves from the shock and the hurt that might end up becoming more than we can handle, that is, if we are not brave enough to face our own selves.

We can become brave, though, and we can face what we think we cannot, no matter what, or who, it might be. The only thing that we have to do is listen to the pining of our souls. If we listen to our souls, and we go headlong into the fracas brought by others, and in that messiness can find our place in it, we will also find there the freedom that we so crave, not just from the assholes who visit our lives so that we may learn the lessons that they bring to us, but more, from our very selves.

I Love You All !


GhettoAllegory Neptune

Click the picture to read The Ghetto Allegory

Visit my website , read my teaching blog, come and hang out with me at bandbacktogether.com…yup…I’ve written a few books, teach hula as both Medicine and as some of the funniest luau entertainment that a group of employees has ever had the opportunity to take pics of the higher ups learning hula from me…yup…at company parties…of course, I also marry peoplecoach individuals and groups…I do LOTS of stuff…because I’m just Rox, and that’s how I roll…follow me on Twitter…but above all…smile and laugh a lot – folks will either think you are talkin’ smack about ’em…or you’re crazy ! Either way, it’s just you being you !! Aloha! I Love You All! ROX


Reader Question : “WHY ME?” (Bruddah, why NOT you?)

We have all been there, and sometimes I still go there, to that place where we throw our hands up into the air, look to the sky and sometimes tearfully ask “WHY ME?”



I get emails from a lot of people wanting to know if I can tell them what their future holds for them. When I explain to them that that is not how all this psychic stuff works, I am met with sometimes angry people calling me a fraud, and when what I tell them has the possibility of happening happens, it is almost an automatic thing for them to call on me and ask me why it is that their lives suck so badly. When I tell them, and actually and also remind myself, that it might not be that life is sucking so badly as much as it is that they are not paying close enough attention to the things at hand that are drawing for them the route to the next place they have to travel on the Path and remind them that when we first started all of this trekkin’ on the Astral thing, that it was not going to be easy and that they would be shown things they did not like, LONG before they would be rewarded with the things that they welcome… they become calm, even as they might not be happy, because suddenly, all the things that caused them to look to the sky to begin with make a little more sense.

You have to deal with the uglies to get to the things that matter

I say it a lot, again, mostly to myself and usually within earshot (or eyeshot online) of those who are seeking what is their own purpose and mission in life, that the Path that we each travel, while it is a solitary one, is not traveled without guidance or without the company of similar others, and sometimes, that guidance is doled out by people like myself. All the time I find that I must remind some of my students that they are going to have to face their demons and they are going to have to take their own lives into their own hands, decide if they are ready to save themselves or if they are still more inclined to stand in their Jesus Christ pose (goodness I Love that song…Soundgarden, in case you were curious) and martyr them on behalf of others who would never even bother in the same manner.

You guessed it – they don’t realize that they can finally let go of trying to make sense of everyone else’s crap and give time to their own crap. And as usual, because they have been doing the things that they have been doing for pretty much their whole lives,  it seems like a preteen being fitted for her first training bra – very uncomfortable. To them it doesn’t seem like it is the right fit. They are not used to not being there for themselves in the way that they are there for other people. They tell me that the way they were raised is to do for others first, sacrificing everything they are for the benefit of other people, saving nothing for themselves and when they get to that point of “WHY ME,” they really are wondering what the hell happened and more, why does it keep happening and I am too glad to tell them why, even if they are not exactly, at that point, crazy about me telling them.

So, to the youngster who tearfully, and then angrily, and then quizzically and loudly asked me “WHY ME?” …well, kiddo, I have a question for you, and that question is “Why Not You?”

Why NOT You?

Why not you? Why not the idea that Spirit and all of and in all of her Wisdom and Power and Glory would choose you to battle through what you are battling through, simply and only because Spirit truly knows what you need, who you are, what you are made of and what you want? We never really know what we want. Most of the time we merely have an idea of what we want, but outside of that, it is only Spirit who has the clue about it and not us.

We think we know what we want, but the truth is that what we think and see and know about ourselves is not as grand and deep as any one of us would like to believe.  We are “surface bound,” the most of us, even those of us who are professionally weird – there is not one of us on this planet who knows totally what we want and for that matter, what we do not want. What you have found yourself caught in the middle of, kiddo, is called a choice, and as far as I can recall, back to my youth, when I, myself, was but a youngster of 23 years old, thought I knew what I wanted – that is, until it was presented to me the thing that I really wanted and when I realized that what I wanted was literally right there in front of me and at that time, I could not have it, but also, at that time, I refused, with a big giant vengeance even, to believe that I would never see that person again…this is how, and more, WHEN, I now realize,  know that my lessons in Spirit and my livelihood were starting to form themselves.  And yep…that situation and that thing that I wanted?

No lie….it happened, and I was right, and I am right when I tell you, young one, that you may want to practice broadening your awareness…so, when you are done reading this, send me that email…anyhow… (check me out…all..momming someone else’s kid and stuff lol)

At that age, we never know what the hell we really want, but when something is presented to us that we cannot resist, and we know that it is ours, as long as we are willing to put in the work involved ON OURSELVES, no matter how long it takes, we are working toward that one energy.

We are never not working toward it, even when it seems that nothing is happening. I promise you that something is ALWAYS happening, and while it may not seem too believable right now in anyone’s head, it is when things suck the most that we are not only learning the most, but also pushing ourselves further toward the thing that we want to see happen. Think about it – recall back to the blog about being in neutral but remaining in a positive neutral state. In that writing there are things that were written that tell us all that when we want something so badly and we are thinking and believing that what we want we will never have (because we are so damned impatient) – this is when we need to form a neutral thought and a thought that is not really positive in its manner as much as it is neutral. The positive energy from the whole neutral thing is NOT for the thing we want, but for ourselves, because all human beings are prone to protecting ourselves, even and namely when the thing that we are manifesting actually means a whole lot to us.

Please do not get me wrong – the neutrally positive thing was not presented to me until but a few weeks ago. Yet, once it was that I had learned (very quickly, mind you) just how dearly important learning this one thing was, once I learned it, it was ON! Once I learned it and practiced it (and am still practicing it) the entirety of my own life lessons suddenly became clear to me, and that one thing that I wanted began to make a whole lot more sense to me…to the point where I am not trippin’ on things anymore the way that I did just a mere few weeks ago.

The reason why it seems that all of our lessons are so …ugh…okay most of our lessons….anyway….is because for as long and as far back as each of us can recall, the reason that we did not go headlong into the fray of things where that one thing is concerned is simply because we did not know that the things that we are faced with that seem like they suck (okay so they DO suck) are the things that we never wanted to deal with but are the things that NEED to be dealt with, because in dealing with them we find the key to the things that we really feel like we are desirous of having in our lives.  

I have maintained, for as long as I have been doing my job as Spiritual teacher and healer, that all of those who learn from me must also learn better and more from their own selves.  The lessons that we are taught sometimes hurt, in fact, most of the times this is the truth. But always, unless it is our time to transition out of this awareness, we make it out alive and well and seemingly with a new glow to us because at that moment and from those lessons…that “OMG” moment….we know a little more about who we are and what we are all about.

It also shows us, most importantly, what we are really made of and how much we think of ourselves, and mostly, it shows us that we are worthy of that one thing. While I will not lie to anyone and tell a soul that there is not one more important thing that I am now thinking neutrally about, I will state that daily, in that energy, just like I saw what was my own instance of “Yay me” not too long ago, I also sense that same “yay me” about this one thing. While this one thing is no way near as important as the last “yay me” thing is, I can say honestly that it is up there in importance and at least in the top ten list of things that are important to me at this time in my life.

So, basically, to that young person who asked me that question and then threw your hands up in the air as though doing so would make this all a little easier to comprehend, the things that you are going through are not without cause and purpose. Our life lessons never are without cause or purpose, because those lessons lend to YOUR Divine purpose. We all have one of those, you know…a Divine Purpose. Just as it is our duty to learn all we can about who we are and our place in this lifetime and in this awareness and on this planet, it is our gift, to see the beauty in the excrement of Life. (think about how many diamond wedding bands have been found while a braver soul than I have gone digging through the “remains” of Fido’s day and you will have a VERY good example of this)

Yes. Gift. Gift because digging through the ugliness of life causes us to stop along the way and put down the shovel so as to look a little more at the pile in front of us, the one made up of all the hurt and all the pain, of all the heartaches that others brought to us and that we, alone, had to deal with. Think about the gold that you found in all of that wreckage and how it is that, sometimes, Spirit sends to our side people with other tools we can use or that they will use to help us dig through the crap., and know now that as much as will be the thing that you so desire is the gift in and of itself, that these others who have shown up are as much the gift  as anything can or ever will be.

Sometimes, it is through those others presenting us with these gifts of theirs that is the thing that we do not realize we are seeking out. It doesn’t mean that we have a chance to put down our shovel and take a break. it means that we have company on the way there. Sometimes that company is welcomed, and sometimes that company is another teacher who we might not even much like. The fact remains that you are learning, and you are growing, and all of the Why Me moments are meant for you NOT to ask me or anyone else what it is that I think of what is going on, but is meant for you to ask YOU that very thing.

I know this makes sense to you…

Aloha….I Love You All…



Click on the image and be taken to “…just Rox…

The Illusionist

Typically, it happens when we are not looking for it, the truth in the illusion we create as what is, and more importantly, what is not, “Home.”


If there is anything that I have enjoyed being, or rather, anyone, who I have enjoyed Being, it is me. There are a lot of lessons that we learn when we are children and we live “at home,” but it is quite a different thing when someone is forced to go back there, not to a place, but to a place in time. 

At certain places, and at certain times, in my memory, “Home” was a comfortable place, until I found out that “Home” is not an address. “Home” is where you are comfortable and is also where you know you belong. “Home,” you see, in the sense that is a building, can contain energies from the past, even if the building is not the same building. It didn’t knock me in the head until about an hour ago, when I finally got over it all, and just began to go back into “think” mode. And the only thing that I could think to do was to write.

So I started doing what I do when I know what I want to say, but I don’t start thinking about what I wanna write, I think about who it is that I do the most for, at least in terms of what it is that “do” in this great big giant Universe.

It’s kids…any kids, at all, even the rotten little turds who like making life hard for everyone else…the little bullying bastards of the world, because they need the mom with the om energy that freely, I realize, I give. I Love the Energy that is the collective of the world’s children. I am a big kid. (Super Soaker fight anyone? I am a Super Soaker ninja, guys…and a water sign…you don’t want to go there with me…haha)

Kids are cool. You know I am right. They are awesome. They say the most hilarious things, and they want to know everything we know, and how in the world adults, namely mothers who also exist on this plane with us, somehow do not realize the gift that they are? The word “Mom” means a whole lot to a whole lot of us. For some of us, it makes us feel comfortable, while others, completely NOT comfortable. Where it is that there can be a feeling within a mother that would even allow her the thought that somehow, her not being there emotionally for her children, and her, seeming to vacate what one would think of as her very Sacred, very, very Divine Privilege, to share air with people for whom she is their guide and their measuring stick to knowing what is, and what is not, also Sacred, also very, very Divine?

Mothers have a Divine purpose. It is our purpose, NOT only to bring into this world, the generations of people who, within those sets of kids, will be leaders and will be people who will change this world. It is up to us to help these little people figure this out about themselves, that they have greatness, and that they are special and that they are here for a Divinely timed and planned purpose, and to make sure that they see it all in their own heads. 

Sometimes, it doesn’t happen this way. Lots of people on this planet had what they needed materially, but in other ways, there was always something that was simply not there. It is the moms of the world, who will, or will not, help us learn that we are able to create our own reality. By this, I mean that, it is our job to get these little people to understand who they are, what they can do, that if they try anything at all, and they fail at it, they may end up learning something else about themselves, that possibly, through that failure, they discovered. Not all kids have this. 

However, my kids do have this. I became the mom I wanted them to have. I could be a pain in the ass, but my kids are good people, with lots of Love to offer the world, and they are like this in an unconditional manner. And yes, of course, I taught them this. This was, is, will always be my purpose in their lives. It will always be mine, to teach them to cut through the illusion that is what they perceive as comfort, and get to the middle of it all, eyes wide open, fear exposed, but their hearts never failing them. This, I taught them. This is what I gave to them – to always seek out their own truth, live up to their Divine Selves and know that they indeed have a Sacred Purpose in this lifetime. I had to teach them that there is no such thing as a big, scary, jealous, vengeful God, and that what their Grandmother calls “God,” their mother addresses as “Spirit,” and “The Mother Goddess.” I taught them that they are free to be who they are, no matter who tells them that they are wrong, and more, judging people before we know who they are for real is simply just not cool. 

I have shielded them from nothing, but mostly, the thing I never shielded them from was Love, or Truth. Really, this is what they need. This is what we all need. They need respect as much as they need to be taught discipline. They need it in overload, because that is what it takes to be able to handle the eventual breakdown of the illusion created by someone else’s sense of what is right, what is wrong, and what is real to them, versus what is real to us. What is real to me will not ever be real to anyone else. I have, if anything, instilled this into their brilliant minds. It was my duty, the moment the doctor said she could see their heads, to make them know that they are important, gifted, special, here for a purpose, and mine…just not to keep.

This was not only my duty to them, but was our simultaneous gift to each other, to teach my kids what is the truth of Love, and learn also this very same thing from them.  We taught each other to be “at home” with each other, and went out into each of our worlds and extended that to our own personal tribes. This is what is my purpose in their lives – to always just be there, and to also teach them to also, for their own tribes, just be there. 

We are their mothers. We are either the bearers of light, the guides through the shadow side, the angel of mercy through the halls of pain, and always, the bastion of Light that is Love, all the time and for real…

…or we remain as the grand illusionists we even fool our very selves with!

Think about it…

I Love You All !



Dreams…they don’t build themselves

Too many people want to believe that the Law of Attraction is somehow fail-safe. It isn’t. No matter what anyone cares to believe, dreams and the manifesting of them takes work.

The thing about dreams is that we all have them, and we all want them to become our personal reality. The thing about dreams is that they also take a bit of work, and the work that has to start is on the inside of us. The inside work is the hardest kind, because that is where we have to really ask ourselves what, for real, it is that we want out of this madness called dreaming big.

The madness called “Dreaming Big”

Let’s think about something here for a sec, okay? Let’s think about everything that we can that took both thought and time to bring into being from a dream. Take for instance, the idea that we can flip up a light switch and BANG! Let there be light. Let’s think about the idea that everyday people drive cars, and that not too long ago in the history of mankind were the only “cars” horse and buggies. Let’s think about the microwave oven, and let’s think about instant ramen soup, and let’s think about airplanes and ships and hell yes let’s think about (ugh) Disneyland.

ALL of these things were spawned from someone’s thought, meaning that those things in your head called thoughts that could be equated with your own discovery of things undiscovered (say, for instance, the creation of courage within you to try and try until you manifest that big ole dream of yours). Undiscovered things are those things that are in manifest, things that are basically and only a thought at this moment. We all have them, dreams, and a whole lot of us STILL seem to think that because we think they are way too big, that we are way too small to make them happen.

This is because we collectively suffer from an ongoing condition which makes us all spout the words, or at least the thought “I wanna do it by mySELF!” just like those tiny little petulant kids you are thinking about right this moment. This is a lot of our problem, the idea that we don’t need help. Of course we need help, and loads of it! Where did we get the idea and when the hell did we start believing that somehow we can do everything all the time all by ourselves? If you thought about how many babies are born everyday, just in your own town alone, that should be enough evidence right there that not only are we not alone in this lifetime, but neither are we to be alone all the time. That is why Spirit sends us people, many, many people, to share the earth and life experiences with.

You are not alone, so why behave as though, alone, you can make something bigger than life come alive?

Don’t get me wrong, please – I am all for people doing things on their own, but I am more for the idea that people should ask for assistance when they set out in the world on the building of a dream. I have a whole lot of dreams, and all of them are somehow tied to the sharing of Aloha, to the idea that no matter who our blood relations are, that we are all one family and since it is that we are taught that family comes first, it is also something that we learn to share with people.

When it comes to fashioning a life, every single one of us starts out with the dreams about the great house, the car, the dream job, the great kids, the dog who doesn’t pee on the white carpet, the neighbors who are not dearly a pain in the okole, and the list goes on and on. These are all great things, but they are things that collectively we all desire. What I am talking about today are those things that stir us, that make us believe in something far greater than we are and that exists within and outside of us at the same time.

We have help, all of us, and no, it is not only from Spirit, not only from our blood relations and not only from the typical places and people we can think of. When we ask and are sincere in the intention behind the dream and we know that what we have in manifest is the greatest thing in the world (to us, that is) and we set out into the world with that  thought and that dream, the only thing that happens after that is that the Universe conspires to help us in ways we could never have imagined that She would, with people who we would never have imagined we would, and all because you were diligent with one thing and one thing only.

You believed that it could happen.

There is that word again…”believe”…

What too many of us like to say but too many do not follow is the idea that we have to believe in the reason why it is that we want to do anything at all. We have to believe in the reason, in the cause and we have to believe that what we want out of our own lives will somehow be the thing that is needed the most so that we can impact the lives of others.

Another thing that too many people believe is this nonsense about the Law of Attraction being like a genie in a bottle where all we have to do is think of a thing and like magic – POOF! – there is the thing that we so totally want.

I want you all to know that really, anything worth having is also worth putting for the effort toward the end result. This is what these …gurus…do not tell people – that in order to have what we desire, it takes work. Humans do not like to work, namely when their dreams, their pride, their love for the dream…namely when those things are somewhat vulnerable to the judgments of other people. And again…we are a very lazy bunch, we humans are, and we would rather be and stay lazy than we would put our love, our time and our selves into the manifesting of anything worthy. We would rather wait and see if someone else’s dreams will happen for them, that way if it doesn’t work out, we have an out and an excuse as to why it is that we should just forget the whole damned thing.

Don’t you dare!

Don’t you dare rob yourself of a dream! This is the reason why there are so, so, so many very dearly unfulfilled people – because they are too damned lazy to start working on something. The only way to get to the end of the work is to start the work, and if you do not start the work, how on earth are you going to see your dreams become real? That is how this works, guys…manifesting anything takes work. Sometimes it is work on the self, and other times it is actual physically being involved with the culmination of things and energy that we need in order to have what it is in our lives that we so dearly desire.

Think back to being a kid and your parents told you that if you wanted something, that you would have to work toward it. It is like having a job – no boss is just going to give up a pay check because say that you have a job at his firm – you actually have to earn the dollars you are there for by doing the work that you are hired for. This is the essential problem inherent in us all and it is the one thing that we alone are responsible for changing within us. The compulsion to give up and let things just be is way too much for us to not consider. There are a lot of things happening all at one time, you see, when it is that the fruitioning of dreams is concerned.

And ALL of the time, the most important stuff happening cannot be seen, but only felt, within us. This is where the magic is…on the inside. 

Stop with the “it’s not gonna happen,” because it could happen

The easiest way for us to get out of what we are supposed to be doing with who and what we are is to just believe that there is only one way there. The person who likes to say, is used to saying, always says “it’s not gonna happen” is also the very person for whom it does not happen.  This is the person who cannot see past the hard part of it all, the part that is not even the actual work, but is, instead, the inner work. This is where it all begins. On the inside.

On the inside is where we fear everything. On the inside is that person who thinks that they are not enough to make things happen for them. I promise – if you were good enough to come up with something that you know is doable, then you are also good enough to begin to figure out why it is that you might also think that it won’t happen.  Stop telling yourself that whatever it is that you want is not gonna happen. You know it can happen. You also know that if you stop doubting yourself, it will happen, whatever the “it” may be.

STOP telling EVERYONE you see what you are manifesting

The ONLY reason that anyone would be out in the world repeating themselves about what it is that they are dreaming of is NOT only because they are excited. I mean, very excited people might go out and do this, but the average person is not gonna go and tell  it on a mountain. However, there are those of us who are out there, daily, without proof, that something is in the works. They might be saying that they want it to happen, but they are only talking and not putting that energy into the thing they are manifesting. Being excited is great, but it is not enough. 

The other thing, the other reason that you don’t wana be out there telling people what you are doing is because really, that is just your ego talking. Think about it – how many times have you gone out in the world, thought about something really great for a while, proceeded to go on with life and it never happened? LOTS…right?


The reason this happens is because at that point, it really is your ego who is in charge and it is your ego who is marketing and promoting something that is not even really being thought about, let alone worked on. The only thing working at that point is your mouth and ego in tandem to do one thing – wreck the dream. I am reminded of writers who say they are writers and the ones who actually write, often, if not daily. Just like you are not a writer if you do not engage in the activity of writing, no matter what, if you are not working on your dream doing anything more than running your mouth about it, all you are doing is running your freakin’ mouth. 

And more than that, there is the wasting away of the energy that is supposed to be meant for the building of your dream. We would rather talk  about what it is that we want to do, the way that we see it as the end result in our thoughts, allow it to remain that way forever and ever amen, and why? Because we forgot to balance the excitement with something else that is needed – that one thing is discipline. 

The Collective UGH called disipline

It takes discipline to do anything at all worthwhile to us.  The word “discipline” has taken on such a negative energy over the years and too many of us are so dearly undisciplined that when it comes to things we really, really want in our lives, we are at a loss for how to get there. If there is anything at all that any good teacher of Spirit will tell their students it is that having discipline is a requirement for growth. Of course, when my beloved teacher Noreen told me this, after my beloved first teacher, my Auntie Kalei, gently told me this same thing, that anything I want in my life is mine – I just have to do what is required of me by Spirit to get it done.

At that time in my life I wanted everything handed to me. At that time in my life I was that spoiled golf course princess of a trophy wife, who, even though in the material sense, if I wanted it, all I had to do was show some cleavage and put on a pouty-lipped show, promise some things that I thought nothing about and it and the money I wanted (you know, just in case…yeah…just in case I wanted to buy good booze for me and Kim and Marsha) were mine – just like that. It never dawned on me at that time how much I depended on things outside of me. I never realized then what I know for sure now, and that I know for sure now is that when we put our intention out there into the Universe, give it and our expectations of what we expect to see versus what we end up with (which is ALWAYS SO much WAY better than what we can visualize) and we go with the flow of our lives, continuing to pour our love and our energy into something at all, no matter what, we get what it is that we see and more, what we are willing to create for us.

Don’t talk about it…get your okole out there and LIVE IT

Here is where the fine line is drawn. A person can tell anyone that they are this, that they are that, but if they are not doing what it requires to be thing 1 or thing 2, then they are neither of those things and the only thing that they are is in limbo.

Do not bother wasting your breath or your precious energy talking about your dreams – get your okoles out there and pay attention to things in your awareness. Wait for your signs. Be hungry for your opportunities and be mindful of everything that is in your awareness because all of it carries meaning for you somehow. All of it carries energy which is connected to that one thing that you know is in you, that you know is possible, that you alone are meant to birth into consciousness, not only for you to enjoy, but for the world to take notice of the reality of who you are, according to that dream that lies dormant within you.

Take time everyday to see to it that you do something, at least one thing, toward the manifestation of your biggest grandest dream.

If you don’t take the time, it will not come into being. If it does not come into being, that one thing will continue to haunt you until you decide to finally stop being such a scared pansy-ass, go on out there into the big fat scary world and build that dream…

If a dude can bring to life a talking mouse, and another dude can bring to life a talking sponge, and yet one more can keep us in stitches over how many times that damned coyote is going to be duped by that roadrunner…well, you can just about imagine what else is possible, right?

You won’t know that you have not been the person who brought to life a phenomena that is as big as that sponge is…the very one who lives in a pineapple…under the sea.

If we can bring talking sponges who live in pineapples under the sea, I am pretty sure that there is a whole lot more that we can do.

It just takes work, and belief that it has to be…and it will Be…







One day, every November

To be alive and well and able to see the sun be right where it’s supposed to be everyday…now THAT is what this Life is all about, guys…

Every year, for many years now, there is one day in the month of November that families get together to be with one another. I cannot refer to the name of the holiday, and it is for personal reasons that I don’t. Yet, even as I will not refer to it as being the day that it is called, what I will say is that every year, year after year, there are things and energies which I reflect upon because the truth is that I am, indeed, grateful, everyday of my life, to see that the sun still hangs in the blue Southern California sky, that my kids, even though things are not as great as I wish they could be at this time, are healthy and happy, that my dog is still in need of a bath.

People make such a big deal about things that happen the day after that particular Thursday every November that it is hardly a question in my mind that people are getting more and more cynical about everything. Well, sure, when you think about the way that big business has forgotten what it means to be with people who you love the most and for the reason that you are there, it is without wonder why it is that most folks cannot see anything but what is so blatantly there, all the time, from all sides – that it is not that Thursday that anyone wants us thinking about but instead is that following day. I have a few things to say right now, and all of it points to Gratitude.

Albeit, with attitude…here we go !

I am grateful to those who have hurt me, pissed me off, made me feel like a fool. I am grateful to those who have taken the time, again and again, to forget that I am a human being and that I have feelings like everyone else and that those feelings get hurt, often. I am grateful to those who have talked behind my back, threatened me, told me I was no good, that I am evil, that I am selfish and arrogant. I am grateful to those who did not bother to know me before they judged me harshly, and grateful to those who did not have the time of day for me.

Yes, I am grateful.

I am grateful because without all of these kinds of people visiting my life at the time in my life that they came to me, I would not know how to be humble, would not realize that other people don’t like being bullied, don’t like being told what to do or told who they are. I love that I have had these people teach me without my asking about how it is that humans deal with one another in a manner that is master and servant, that is “one is better than the other,” that is cold, cruel, heartless and selfish. I am grateful that I knew you, that maybe I still know you, because without you, I would not know who I really, truly Am.

I am grateful to you all because in those little tiny moments in my own life, the times when I needed someone to be there for me and to listen to me and to hear what it was that was breaking my heart, there you all were, somehow, to make sure that I knew that I would never be good enough to be with you and yours.  I thank you. I thank you because it was this energy, the one that told me that you did not want me around that saved me the heartaches that most assuredly, I would have suffered.

I am grateful to all those people who hurt me, who thought less of me without thinking that maybe there might be a human person inside of the ears you chose to speak your fabricated truth into, the truth that told you all the time that no matter what, I am not acceptable. No one ever told you that maybe it was not that you did not want me around and that I finally got the hint, but rather and only that, one day, I just no longer cared.

I am grateful to those of you who took the time to point out my flaws, to make me remember that I am not perfect, that somehow, in many ways, there are things that need improvement. Without you there to remind me that I am not perfect, I might not have been compelled to at least strive toward excellence. Without you there primping and preening and making a big giant show of your own perception of our own awesomeness, I would not know how ugly it is for a woman to need to be told she is pretty, that people like looking at her. I would not know what is the truth of the beauty within or that the beauty within is what creates the beauty on the outside. I thank you.

I am grateful to you if you chose to tell wild stories about me, and grateful if you felt at one time or another to lie about me, to make up tall tales about me, and I am grateful if you felt better because of it. I knew I would be of some good purpose for you, and if that was what you needed from me or anyone at all, I am grateful that it was me because just like I would not have had the experience that you gave me, you would not know that no matter how ugly your words were and how ridiculous your stories were, I was still there for you and still, I loved you.

I am grateful to those who have bullied me, from the time that I was a little girl, the all of you who did so, because without you I would never have realized the reality that is the fight, not with others, but with myself and how important it is to always know who I am for real and to not trust what it is that others think I need to be in order to please them. I was not, and no one ever is, born into this life to make others happy. We are brought to this lifetime in order that we might be of good service to others, and if the service that I provided you with was so that you could, for one moment, feel validated by your perception of someone who might not have thought of themselves in the manner that you think of yourself, fine. I am thankful that you showed up, that one or two of you are still here, because as time has passed and memory has slowed and you are not the bad asses you once may have been, I am still standing, and I am stronger than I have ever been in my entire life. This is a priceless gift that, without you all, I would not have ever received.  Thank You !

I am grateful to the one person whose mission, it seemed, for many years, was to make sure to it that I knew no other person would ever love me, that no one would want to bother with someone who was so emotionally dented and dinged, was to make sure that I felt like a whore, like the lowest step on the ladder, like the doormat that many women end up feeling like. I want to thank that person for making me KNOW, quite on my own, that I am not a one in a million girl, but instead, have become the famed and fabled, always sought out but rarely found, once in a lifetime woman. I thank you, because without you, I would not have been able to figure out that it was my place in your life to walk you down the Path of forever, and so that you might, one day, very soon here even, be meeting the Reaper who awaits your walk with him. I THANK YOU.

I am grateful, most of all, to those of you who have stood by me, who remained a brightness in my life when it seemed that the light had dimmed. I am grateful to those who have loved me for years, and grateful to those whose lives I have only recently become a part of, and who, by their own words, have called me a big part of your lives. I am grateful to have known you all, for many years, and even for only a few days, because just like the sun fades into the twilight, so that the moon can show us herself, so, too, has there been the never-ending thought in my head that if it were not for all of the Overlords of Doucheland throughout the course of my life who were there to remind me of why they felt they needed to hurt me, I would never, ever know what it is to be truly with Love in  my life, and neither, what it means to be loved by a family. This is who you are to me, and you all know exactly who you are. You are a gift and a pleasure to me, and I Love You all so very, very much. I Love You. Thank you for being part of my family, and allowing me to be so big a part of yours!

We bring new meaning to the term “Motley Crew” and yes, I know…”The Crue”…hahaha…. I love you all, so very, very much, from the sunny side of the street called Southern California, to the other side of the country where my Southern Ladies rule, to the ‘aina in the middle of the sea, and to those places in the universe where I have only dreamed about…to you all, I wish the very best of all to you, and yours, and may your Love be known to all as much as it has been made known, very dearly even, to me.

Yes, indeed, without your presence in my life, I would not ever know what it is to be Loved, without condition, and truly.

I thank you all the very most.

May this be the very blackest of Mondays we all have ever known!





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