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Point Blank

Point Blank Meme The Manao Blog

Sometimes we need to be point blank with others, not only so that we can get things done, but more, so that not only they know what are our boundaries, but more, so that we will know and respect what boundaries we have set that others need to respect.

If there is a lesson that we should all be happy to learn, even if it hurts us to learn it, it is a lesson in respecting other peoples’ boundaries.

Now, I am not saying that making friends online is a bad thing, because I have a whole LOT of friends who I see online more than I do in the real, and of course, as we all do, I have PLENTY of online pals, too. Make no mistake, the connections we make online are as real as any connection we make with anyone at all in the real. To think otherwise is to try too hard to want to believe anything other than this one truth.

This one truth is something that a whole lot of people do not seem to get, that there are people who willingly are our friends, and that is where it stops, that is where it will always stop, and that is not a line that anyone needs to or should cross. Crossing it bleeds of disrespect, not only for another person’s privacy, but more, for who they really are.

We can push and prod and try hard to change this, this fact that what we want with anyone else is fine and good, but in terms of wanting more than we can have, and to push the issue further only shows another person that the one thing that we do not have, due to our own feeling of need or want or whatever, that the respect they are receiving that any and all humans should receive is not something that is being honored.

Honor is something that not a whole lot of people, sadly, know a thing about. To honor someone is to make it known by them and to them that who they are means something to anyone at all, but mostly, respecting who they are and everything that they need is the one thing that not too many people seem to have any regard for. I get it when we are in that thought that we have to…HAVE GOT TO…know someone, and I get it in terms of our own thinking that the message we are getting from a mere picture is something that ought to be taken as the truth.

Out truth and what it is that we want to believe may well be not what is the actual truth of another person.

For instance

Think about someone who is way interested in another person, but that other person has relayed to them that friends is all they will ever be. The person who does not accept this as their truth is not wrong in feeling as they do, but, when said person pushes and pushes, even as the person of interest has declined, this is when even the nicest “pushing” from that person is going to start becoming a problem.

It will become a problem not only for the person of interest (because they would have to continually repeat themselves with no promise that the person in pursuit of them will stop), but more, it will cause the person pursuing to try harder, and when we try harder and already know what the answer is…let’s just say that madness WILL set in.

Pushing anyone for anything is like telling them that what is their truth is not a good enough reason for anyone to just knock their crap off. Most sane human beings will take the hint and simply either deal with what is someone else’s truth, or, they will, as I just mentioned, continue trying hard to change someone else’s truth.

Trying hard to change what is anyone else’s truth is not an easy thing to do. Trying to make someone else see things through your eyes and from your perspective does no one any good at all if there is not that thing called respect. Pursuing anything or anyone at all who has already set the ground rules for any sort of relationship of any kind and that you might have just chosen to not think about what you are doing to that other person is not cool.

Where am I going with this?

Lately, and because I am trying to expand my network to include people who can help me, and I, them, no matter how big or small that help might be, I am running into a whole lot of those folks who seem to think that somehow they have a connection with me in terms of…ugh…we shall call it whatever it is that could also be thought of as being somehow an invitation for more than what it is that is there, that has been presented and that is the very truth of me and everything that I am really all about.

There are VERY few people on this planet who know, for real, who I am and what I am really about. Those few people know, very well, what my boundaries are, and with those few people, there seems, really, to be almost no boundaries. There is nothing that I will not do and that which is within my own power for each of them. They each and all know who they are. In terms of knowing who I am and what I am all about, they get it.

They understand that in order to be a part of my soul tribe, that as much as I respect their boundaries, they’ve gotta respect mine (and they do…Goddess bless each and every one of them for doing so…I Love you guys…thanks). It is not something that I have had to repeat to them, not something that was not understood by them and by me, and not something that is ever an issue that cannot be seen to in the manner that, should those boundaries be crossed, is done with love and regard for all of who I am…and it is very vice-versa with the each of them.

Then there are those ones who are brand new…the sort who want to tell me all these things so that I might well be impressed by the idea that on their end, there is some sort of connection that they have had with my picture. A picture is one thing, but to have a connection with anyone at all requires time, requires patience, requires love of the self, requires respect on a level that is not out loud, but assumed and presumed is just there. It also requires the ability to accept that which we might not like or want to hear, even as what we will hear is that other person’s truth.

That other person’s truth

When a person tells us something, it is up to us to get the hint.

Period.

If we are not willing to hear what they have to say to us, and we are not willing to take from them what is their truth and we are more willing to only see what is our own truth, and we continue to push and push for something that we know we cannot have (but yet we will continue to push) we can guarantee that eventually, and sooner than later, the pushing that we do WILL push back at us, and we might not be able to deal with the emotional after-effects caused by the things that we KNEW better than to continue doing.

Yet, continue doing as they will, they will do, and there are only a few things that we can do to make it known to them that we mean business, that they continually step over the line with us.

Perhaps it is that they cannot help themselves – human beings are like that. When we see something that we feel like we need, or we feel like there is something there that is not there, that is when we have to check ourselves, before we wreck ourselves. I mean, I get it…I totally get the idea that there are things and people in this lifetime that we would absolutely love to have in our lives. We are all like that, but, the difference between us and those who seem not able to accept our boundaries is marked.

It is marked in that all humans can sense emotional pain in others, and like all good humans will do, we want to find out what it is that we can do for anyone else in terms of helping them get through their pain, if not get out of it. You see, for us to want to help people not have a lot of pain is one thing. That is what I do for my work in this lifetime – help other people figure out ways to deal with their emotional pain and turn that emotional pain into a work of art, sometimes literally.

Sometimes, those who we would like to help only have one thing on their mind, and that one thing is simply to get us to change our mind about something that we might not be humanly able to do. I deal with this one everyday. I deal with people who just seem unable to accept the idea that whatever it is that is in their own heads and may well be a lovely thought, might not be what is in anyone else’s head and might not be that same lovely thought.

When we have bothered to take other people for their word and their word being that thing called “their truth,” is when we are ready to face other, more beautiful truths, and truths that we might not well have been able to deal with accepting for a long time, even though for a long time we knew that what we were seeing in front of us was the very truth of another person.

It is not now, nor has it ever been, neither will it EVER be anyone else’s business to try to stop us from having what is our own truth, and neither will it be one of those things that is acceptable to me, to anyone like me, to anyone period, to feel like that truth is not something that is accepted as well as respected by others.

Not accepting the truth of other people, namely when that truth is something that they hold near and dear to themselves, is like telling them that we think their truth sucks, and it sucks because we don’t like it.

Just because we don’t like it, it does not mean that we have the right to try to manipulate them to see things our way. It does not give us the right to plead our case to them, hoping they will understand why we do not share the same way of feeling our energy, but all the while, underneath it all, there is always that energy that tells us that what it is that we are feeling at any given time is somehow us lying to ourselves.

Ummm…whatever…keep on thinkin’ that way, cupcakes, and you are going to find out the business end of someone else that might not be the thing that you thought it was…seriously…

This is what happens when we decide that we do not want to accept another person’s truth about anything, but namely about ourselves and our place or our lack of place in their lives.

There is nothing more maddening for anyone, namely a light worker, than to have to repeat ourselves, over and over again. In terms of light workers, it is that we know, for real, whether you believe me or not, what the underlying motives are in anyone else (kinda cool how we sense energy like that, right? Riiiiight) If we are employed ‘in the realms’ like I am, and we are able to feel and sense our way through another person’s energy, we will try hard to not offend them but…make no mistake…when we are offended, the human being in us takes over the Spirit within by which we lead our very lives.

That’s when it is lights out, baby…

You can take my words as truth, or not, and it won’t matter – I will still be this me, and I will still not acknowledge a person who seems to believe that no matter what, my truth is not what I tell them that it really is. In this instance, my truth is exact, is absolute, and not now, and I must go ahead and say…IF EVER…will that truth change.

I am not one to exchange what (or WHO) is the most important to me, for anyone.

I said it…deal with it.

And I Promise you, each and all, that when I say something, I mean every word that I say. Again…there is a very small group of people on this planet who know this and understand this, because it is also the way that they roll.

If you cannot accept what is my truth, then I invite you to roll your ass on out of my awareness. I cannot get much more point blank than that, much as no one else can, either.

I promise…my truth is not going to change…for anyone…unless, of course, the person for whom it must change is me.

And that is a truth that some people are invited to simply choke down like a gallon of Nyquil on a hot day in the Mojave desert in August…

I Love You All

ROX

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It doesn’t even matter

2008-Housing-Market-Crash

The things which we no longer have are the things which no longer matter. The hurt which remains is there to teach you something about you.

“I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter…I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.” (Linkin Park’s “In the End”)

I lost my house in Helendale in July of 2008. While it hurt a bit, I cannot lie and say that the world was over with for me, because it wasn’t. I realized quite early on afterwards that it was meant to be like this. It was meant that I would no longer be in that place for the purpose of my having to begin the process of shedding what was once real to me.

What was once real to me was not for me to become very attached to, because in becoming attached to it all, I would suffer the worst hurt ever, which would be the stinging blows to the pride within me that would tell me that somehow, I deserved to lose everything that I thought mattered to me. And again, I cannot lie – the house, while it mattered to me a little bit, the idea that I lived where I lived mattered to me a whole lot.

Where I lived was a huge source of pride for me, but here I am, years later, and I realize that what was the source of pride was not what I thought it was, but rather and only the illusion of what was, versus what it became. What it became was a monster of proportions so huge and so…untamed…that for at least one person who used to live in that house, the loss of it was something that they’d felt on levels that not a lot of people would feel if they were not so attached to that tangible item.

And really, that is truly what any actual standing building that a person or a group of people would live inside of and call home. It is not the actual building, but what it represents. For me, the house represented a place where memories would be made, with neighbors who were some of the most pleasant people I had ever known.

Yet, here I am, seven years later, almost, and things have changed markedly.

I no longer care about the house that I no longer owed a lot of money on. The only memories that I have of that place that can be called good and real are the ones of my kids, of my hula halau, of the treasure called friends who, when I thought about it, are two of the very best people I know and two people who I love immensely. While I no longer own all the vehicles, no longer have access to the golf course, the lakes, I have what can never be taken from me.

I have me.

I have this me.

Losing something as big as the family home is not something that I hadn’t been through at least once in my lifetime, and that is probably why I was okay the day that I have to pack up my entire house, without the help of certain others, and leave that life behind. The reason that life had to be left behind and the reason why that life and the loss of it no longer matters is because even in all of that loss, the one thing that was gained by me was not just “this me.”

I gained, through the losses, the reality of two people who, no matter what, have always been there for me (Hi April…Hi Tim…I Love You Guys!) Through that loss, I regained and revived and recreated hula to become what, for me and a lot of people like me, it was meant to be, which is not a Polynesian review show, but medicine. I gained, through that hurt, a new lesson to work through and to turn into The Sisterhood of The Soul, and through that group of healer women who are also my cousins, have created what is the beginning of things as they ought to be.

And that is not the only loss that I gained from, really. I gained the bravery to confront my abuser, to tell him that we are done and that within but a very short time here now, it will be on paper. I gained the knowledge that even as I have been the very one to have to learn to heal me, without the hurt of feeling like my own blood relations skipped out on me when things got to be really too much for me to deal with, I gained the right to call myself a strong, Stand Alone Human Being.  This does not mean they all skipped, because the ones who mattered the most never did. It just seemed that way at times.

Seriously…in the end, it doesn’t even matter

When we are able to get past the hurt, and when we are able to look at the dragons which once invaded our waking life and our sleeping dreams, and when we can see things from a new perspective, this is when things that we thought mattered no longer matter as much. It is when we realize that we have learned what we are meant to learn from any given situation that our lives will begin to blossom.

For instance, not too long ago, I was very upset with my parents, and it was over something that was a source of pride for me. I won’t go on with what it was all about. I will just state here that the last time that hurt visited me was yesterday, and when I say the last time, I mean exactly that.

I mean that no matter what it is that I want to do for them or for anyone else, the one person who I need to do the most for is me. This is not my telling anyone that you have to be selfish, because being selfish is very counterproductive.

What I mean is that, once we let go of the grip that we have on certain ideals, on certain things that we think we have to have be a certain way, on things that we believed mattered for so long and which really do not matter in the manner that they once mattered, we are, at that point, in a stage of growth. The sooner that we really wrap our heads around this, and the sooner that we accept this one thing, the sooner we will find out the reason that we hurt for so long.

Vice Grip

Lots of us like to have a vice-grip on things that we ought to not have said grip on. When we choose the energy onto which we will hang we have to remember that there are good reasons to hang onto it, and then there are all the other reasons. 

We each have our own reason for hanging on to the energy, or, on the other side of that, allowing the energy to have its vice-grip on us.

There are times when this grip is welcomed, when it is needed and when it is pleasant, and then there are all the other times.

There are times when it is that we do not want the vice-grip loosened, when we would rather bathe our own selves in that energy because it is so very welcoming and so very…much a part of us…that to release it would cause our own energy field a whole lot of havoc…then, there are all those other times.

It is all those other times that we need to help ourselves understand why it is that we want to believe that we are meant to hang onto it.

Recently, one of those two very good friends ended his own struggle with a vice-grip energy that was not an energy that would have helped him grow into the person who he is becoming. It took us months to realize that what he was seeking had been so easily attained that once it was that he was able to allow this vice-grip to no longer have him in that bind of hurt, things just seemed to be much lighter for him. He’d have never made it through the same lesson one more time. It would have wrecked him for the rest of his life in many more ways than only one.

On my part and in my life, even as there is a very lovely vice-grip energy that I am lucky to have whenever I can get it, there is the other side of that, which is the side and the thing which prompted this writing today.

Too many teachers of the Divine seem not to tell their charges that things will be harsh before they are not, and the harshest lessons of all are the ones which come from the people who have been in our lives for years and years. On my part of all of this other side of the energy stuff, my biggest challenge over the course of my life has been trying hard to get my blood relations, at least a lot of them, to take me seriously, to have some semblance of respect for at least how I feel, let alone who and what I am, and to take some measure of self-control when speaking of things that at one time meant something to me and which, at this time, I realize, don’t even matter to me as much as I thought it all did.

Why? Because I know that I am not meant for those things, at all, and until I woke up this morning, it did not dawn on me that what I was being taught has been learned, and that what I did not want to accept was accepted a long time ago in that, I am a healer, a writer, a scientist, a spiritualist…and no where in all of those things does anyone read the word “marketing person.”

Even though that is what I used to be, and in some ways still am (someone has to promote me and my girls…we do fine doin’ it all on our own), in that capacity, the one that I started out with their offerings, I am no longer.

That me no longer fits this me’s life and this me’s needs and this me needs things to be a lot more organized for this me to be satisfied with life in that respect. This does not mean that I have no respect for what this set of people are doing. It means that I no longer have to voluntarily obligate me…this me…to their bidding, even as I easily and readily lend myself to their success.

That You is not This You

You know very well that not one of us, at least not without the help of someone experienced in past life regression, can go back in time, at least not for real. We can visit there, and we can take a few moments there, but you have got to admit that even though right now, for myself included and to a limited extent, might suck beyond all which else that sucks, you have to admit that you would so much rather be this version of you than that other you.

That other you was weak in many areas of your own life, and that other you was someone who, from time to time, you did not even like very much. That you did things that this you would never dream of doing, because this you has built a wall of integrity that cannot be demolished by anyone but this you.  This you loves who you are becoming, and that old you..well, that you no longer exists.

That You no longer exists

Believe me or not, the reason that for some of us, life seems to be very difficult right now is because many people don’t realize that the reason things do not work like they once did in the past is because you are now this version of you, and this version of you cannot do things any longer that the old version of you used to do. 

That might be a little hard for you to wrap your head around, and it takes time to ease into the new you, but once it is that you have done just said such easing into things, you will find that you cannot do things like you used to do them. You will find that it is hard to fit into your old lifestyle, with the same type of people who used to be the people who you would do anything for.

You will find out that even though this you requires a little more than the old you did, once you get the hang of it, you will not look back, ever, and neither will you want to. You will learn that there are times which require you to return to pieces of that old you, but in those times you will be beside yourself with wonder because even using some of what was you, even in that instance, it is the new and improved you. 

I cannot lie – I would love nothing more than to no longer live where I am right now, but, the fact of the matter is that, the old me – she is who used to live in that big fat house on the golf course in the desert, and she is who would be hurt by the words that she is reading right now, and that me would pretend that anything else offered in the way of a new place to live would be just fine, even though that me, on the inside, would be dying a death of the ego on many levels.

This me, however, has been actively looking for that new place where new memories, with all of the right people, are going to be made, and this me, while she can be markedly impatient for good things to happen, knows, just because she is this me, that the perfect house where all of these great things will happen is just waiting to tell me that it is the right one for us. This me might be a little on the strange side (a little?), but this me loves me, and this me takes no shit from anyone when in regards to this me and what this me knows is right for me. 

In the end, our losses are meant to teach us to become the best versions of ourselves. Our pain is not meant to live on forever, and is there to make us aware that we are in need of some “me maintenance.” Our past hurts are meant to remind us that we have been through what we needed to go through in order to get to the person who we are becoming, and the people who we are each becoming are meant to go through this crap called loss, pain, hurt, all so that we can recognize what they are and more, recognize the things that are NOT meant to hurt us. 

Me and This Me need to get things moving right along for the day… please make sure that you know what is worth having a vice-grip on, and more, what you will allow to have a vice-grip on you.

I Love You All !

ROX

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