Tag Archives: children

In Black and White

zebra-stripes

We all know what we do not want…but…do we know what we DO want?

I am Kahuna.

I will not lie- I have always enjoyed the strange nature of things that go on in the ether, but, for the first part of my life on this planet and in this lifetime, while it was that I was very curious about the weirdness, I was terrified of it at the same time that I was curious about it. The bottom line, all of my life, and even sometimes now, I had a fear, not of going to hell, but of letting my parents -particularly my mother – down.

Fast forward to the Now , and with the help of my Maestro, I realized what I feared was that my mom would so dearly be hurt (which she won’t admit to being but I know that she was), and that she might not love me anymore. I feared that my challenge to what was right and correct and true to her would be what made her not love me. I was terrified that she would judge me for who I am now, for what I like now, for who I Love the most right now…but, that did not happen. What happened was that my mother, in all of her motherliness, actually did what I, myself, have had to do, for what seems like a very long time, but really is not – I did that thing called “accepting my kids for who they truly are,” and nurtured that energy within them.

Essentially, I became the mom I did not have. This is not stating that her as my mother was not the best that I could ever have (because now that I think about it, she was actually trying to protect me. All water signs live through a belief that we have to fear everything…please, keep reading…), because without my mom and all of her religious belief, lots of things that did not happen in my life that could have happened were never realized. What was realized, over time, was that there was nothing that I was taught that was not of some sort of good learning for me.

What I learned was that my mother’s way of love for me was very black and white (and it had to be, because I am, by her own stating so, her “wild child”), was cut to the chase and held no secrecy, at least in terms of the absoluteness that is a mother’s love. What I was shown by the Maestro (as well as my oldest) most recently was that what my mom taught me were the lessons of growing out of those expectations and into my own vision of my life, of what would be contained there, of who would be allowed in it, and how much I was willing to see to it that I would remain who I am – this mom, this “Pineapple,” this Me who is the Me who I love so very much and who my Hanai Ohana would be remiss to know that I chose to change to please other people. I know who matters. If change is required, I will know who is the reason why some changes need to happen for me.

I always felt my mom did not like me as a person. I was wrong. I had felt that way all my life, like if I changed one thing about her conjured version of “me,” that I would lose my mother’s love.

This was, and still is, a primary fear for us all – that our parents will be so disappointed in us and as who we truly are or that we are not doing things their way, that ultimately, we fear losing their love. This does not address the idea that some of us (again, including me), still live in that energy and don’t even know it. The feeling denotes that somewhere within us, we do not have (or think we don’t have) the earliest, most…”spot-welded” moment, where every single one of our sensations, bodily and emotionally, can be recalled, and we can feel everything from that moment as though it were right now. In that moment are snippets and snapshots of it, and of every other one that was also spot-welded in our psyches, that prove through our digging for the truth, that we won’t lose the love of those most important to us and in our lives.

This is the defining moment of who we know as mom or dad and of who they are, specifically and in those roles, in our lives. This is the time that the emotional temperature gauge is set, when we are children, even though we do not realize it. It is also the time in our lives that we, at least in my opinion, have initially brain-mapped ourselves into the energy of the reality, to our little tiny brains, that is “mom” and “dad.” In my life, my recollection of this is so dearly planted, and at times the memories so very painful, and why? Because I could not identify with her role in my life as much as I could my dad’s (he is kind of a brainiac).

I was Daddy’s little princess, and I did not become Mommy’s little girl until I was in 2nd grade. Sure, she might tell you differently, but, this is my remembrance of how it came to be that I would know my mom in her role as mom, and my dad in his role as that person, and how it affects our abilities of communicating what it is that we are trying to utilize in our very most important relationships.

When we are not able to speak our own truths, it is because, I think, of the reward system planted in our heads as children. In my lifetime, as a child, one parent was more encouraging, and the other was the disciplinarian. On the one hand, I was encouraged by both of them to excel in my gifts and talents and the use of them, and on the other hand, I was confused all the time because everything was cause for their God to punish me and that I would end up being sent to hell.

This is how my mother did her mothering for a time – via the fear of God, which I now understand was something that she was able to use as her means of scaring me enough to behave properly (WRONG way to do it, namely if you want your kids to even think to remain with the belief system they grew up with).

I always felt like I was being judged very harshly by her and that most of the time she was picking on me. The realest thing to me then was my own fear of her judgment, but now, I understand that it was not that she was judging me, but that she was still trying hard to get her own parents to at least show her a tiny bit of love that came without condition by trying hard to be the disciplinarian mom (like my grandmother – a Sagittarius – fire, action, catalytic…there is no way my mother, even now, could be a fire sign mom because she is water). She used the phrase “constructive criticism” a lot, which told me that I was a damaged person and would never be right, never be smart enough, good enough, and this equated to my also believing that I had to prove that I was worthy of her SHOW of love.

The way that this always presented itself to me was not what she expected or perhaps had hoped for.I am sure that she thought that what she was doing, because it is how she was shown love by my grandparents (which was without a whole lot of a show of affection…how could they? My Kupuna had six kids!) She did not know until I came around just how difficult it was for her to show affection to others. I am sure that she tried a whole lot to bring herself to that point of that show for me, but, I was not shown this and at a very young age it seemed as though I was more akin to a family pet, perhaps even a show pony. Little did I know or could I have even comprehended that it was not that she did not love me, because I know very well that she did and does. It was that she did not know how to show it properly, and it was because she was not shown it by her own parents the manner that she needed to see it. I know this by her manner of speaking about her own youth, and most of what she says is laden with the energy of discipline as being my grandparents’ ability to love all of their children.

While discipline is a form of Love, it cannot be the only form, because if it is, it will be the only kind that is correct, recognizable and even acceptable.

Think about it.

Love, whether you want to think so or not, is very black and white

Love is black and white.

What I mean by this is that we know when the measure of love that we need is being given to us or withheld from us. What we do not know is the reason why, but, based on how we were each raised will be the way that we form the opinion that will also form the habit which typically happens that represents the energy that we have been presented with as or not as “Love.”

We are rarely truly clear on things. We don’t want other people to hurt, and we also do not want to hurt. We try so very hard to not hurt them by censoring ourselves when we think we need to, and then when it all comes down to the nitty gritty, and we are each in that mode of guardedness, we find ourselves right back at square one, right back to that place where there is confusion, where there is miscommunication, where the hurt is contained.

We also and dearly, the very each of us, cannot believe that anyone else truly and absolutely Loves us. After we have confirmation of this one thing, lots of folks try to find a flaw in it, try to find where it is that we are going to screw things up, where they might not love us anymore because they found out that we are not perfect, that we are merely humans, and that truly, we are as much an imperfect creature as anyone else would be. When it is truly that other people are seeing us, and we are seeing them through the eyes of Love, we are able, NOT to look past the things intentionally done to cause harm, but, instead, to see the truth of them in black and white.

And indeed..inherently and embedded in all Human Beings is this capacity to Love, in black and white, without any bullshit. This is when it is the real thing.

The Truth of Others, in black and white

Our perception of others is based on the things that we have experienced with them, through them.

When we feel a little bit of reservation about people (which, make no mistake, we always do all the time, where strangers and those who have hurt us in the past are concerned), we are, without realizing so, prompting ourselves to seek further answers, to look for a different truth that matches what it is that we are believing.

When we cannot make sense of the truth that we are experiencing (and not one of us has the right to call someone else’s truth about themselves or their experiences “wrong” just because it is not the same as ours is…please – keep reading…) and we are not able to grasp why it is that we are going through something, you can bet that the black and white energy of that situation is going to make itself known to you. This is not my rule. This is the rule of reciprocation, the rule that could be thought of as a transaction, like when you go to the grocery store and you exchange money for goods.

It is this same sort of energy tangibly, but different, because the exchange is ethereal energy rather than tangible things.

That is also where we end up a little bit confused – the idea that we are able to exchange energies, even across great distances. We are able to hone in on the truth of others, if it is that we are particularly close to those others. It is not something that can be avoided, really, if it is that we are that close in energies. It is actually a gift, our abilities towards knowing when those within our Hanai Ohana are hurting, are in turmoil, are in need of some sort of special, loving energy. This output of energies is also the thing that we can learn to utilize in terms of when to just maintain our distance so that our loved ones can recharge themselves (solitude – we all need it from time to time). We all have that need – to recharge. When those closest to us request, whether they do so kindly or sharply, a need for solitude, it is wise to honor it.

It is wise to honor their need in that time for one reason – they have been black and white, most likely, and most likely when they have not been, it is because they do not realize that this is their desire. In black and white terms, we all are in need of this sort of thing, and when we are not given this we lash out and we make things difficult, but mostly for ourselves where they are concerned.

What is also black and white but not quite something that we think about in terms of other people, is the sensations bodily that we feel when we are not sure of the answers that someone else is giving us in terms of who they are in relation to us and our energies. This is when what comes out of our mouth might or might not be believable, and it is not them perceiving what we are saying incorrectly, but our own cue as to us having to learn to discern what is our energy versus what is someone else’s.

When we are particularly close to one other person, as is the case between myself and my other half, it can be confusing in that we cannot discern between what is our own versus what is the others’ and sometimes, it is neither. Sometimes, the things that we feel and sense are the cues coming from the ether, from that place in the cosmos that reaches into our psyche and shows us what we are made of. It is that place that tells us when we are in need of repair, or in need of repairing something that we have done that caused damage to another person. It is within our own symbolism of the visions that we all end up having, the very ones that look like a memory that we would rather not look at again which holds the key to healing that part of our selves, and ultimately our lives. Without this sort of awareness, we float in the sea of confusion until we have created a means by which we are able to, through our own symbolism, understand what it is that we are receiving as a message from the Universe.

Usually the messages from the Universe, while they might scare us, they serve a purpose. That purpose is, through a process of thought born in the brain (and in the case of ANY human female – it is called Critical Thinking…bear it, ladies – we are not biologically able to think in a logical manner. We are emotional beings. Prove me wrong….but I am betting you won’t be able…don’t get ass hurt. Just deal with it and learn about how to think critically. I’ll teach you….) and is totally our own creation, so that we can understand that Love is black and white, on all levels, and that no matter what, we are not able to change it because it has to be allowed to grow.

Once we have looked at the black and the white, we will find there inside of that energy, the truth that is there and is ours.

Truth, while it is ever changing, is also static until we have created better and more believable truths, and truths which feel good and not like we are somehow the world’s biggest fool for wanting to simply just be who we are, truthfully, in black and white….

Where is it in your own life, and in your own thoughts, that you are not practicing the black and white nature of Self-Love and Self-Care, the sort that makes each and every one of us pause for thought, and not pausing for thought of the detrimental sort (we beat the shit out of ourselves over the good opinions of other people, all the time), but pause for thought that has become the truth that we are unaware of as being our own, created through our own means and measure, and the very truth that we do not realize til right this moment that we have been living in.

Please believe your own good, black and white, loving truth about you.

And think, too, about the answer to this question – is your truth about yourself the truth, period? If it is not, can you think of what it is that would make you believe what is someone else’s worn out and outdated truth, perhaps even of the you that you once were?

#LosAngelesKahuna

#PuckingIrishGuysRockShop

#TheCrabAndTheFish

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Trust and the Sixth Sense

O_Roberts Scandal Manao Blog pic

Trusting in one’s own self is a challenge if we have been told all of our lives that we should trust other people and their own “stuff” and to not trust our selves to have our own best interest at both heart and soul

When it comes to things strange and unbelievable, I am pro at it. I believe in things that most folks do not believe, at least on top of things, exist.

I was taught in church as a child that the only things that exist are the things that we can sense with our 5 physical human senses. We are more than only each of our own five sense, more than only these primal beings who, for the most part, are not but like the animals which we hold dominion over.

The things that we are more inclined to basically hand off to someone else, things like responsibility for how we feel, the actions we take and which affect the lives of others,  are the very things that we are handed as the things that we need in order to sharpen our own senses.

In that sharpening, we find out that we actually have six senses, but also, once it is that we find out what we can do with that sixth sense, we become afraid.

Fear causes us to not trust ourselves

Think back to when you were a kid, and if it applies, being that same kid sitting in church on a Sunday. Think about the sermon, and the music that you heard being sung, and think about the message that was delivered, versus the message that you got. Now, think about, also, the way that the messages were all delivered to you and how you, as that child, that same child who is now the adult and who cannot trust anyone or anything, and sadly, you also do not trust you, relate to the things that your were told to believe as your truth.

Recall, some of you, being that child, and growing into the adult you are now, and how it was that the things that you were told were the truth somehow do not make sense to you now, and how it is that perhaps even as that same child, in your soul, you questioned what you were being told and taught, and mostly, the thing that you questioned the very most is if what you were being taught and told, while it might have been anyone else’s truth, it was anything but the truth to you.

Basically, while you sat in those pews, all that time, you were being told what you are allowed to believe as the truth, and that is because in teaching you someone else’s truth, and making you believe it was THE truth by scaring you into going to hell if you did not believe it, was the only way that the people telling you this could validate what it was and is that maybe they, themselves, never bought as being truth. This means that you are not the only one who was force fed what was someone else’s truth. This means that you were taught to not trust you, but instead to trust the people who, by virtue of being on the planet longer than you, were also taught the same things, by the same sort of people, in the same manner – by use of a truth that was only made valid because a guy in a suit with an ordination said so, and had that black book to back his shit up with.

A few reasons why it may feel strange to trust you

You do not trust you because you have been taught that you have to trust only things and people that are outside of yourself, and you do not trust you because of all the messages that you were forced to listen to and more than that, forced to deal with hearing that if you heeded your own voice and trusted your own voice and self, that big scary God who everyone seemed more to fear his retribution than this…unconditional love…that you were told was the truth of this God, would “get” you.

This was the tactic which was used with me, my brother and sister, but when it came to me, it was almost as though somehow, my parents knew a long time ago that of the three of us, I would be the one to wander from what it was that I was taught in church. They knew then what it took me years to not only figure out, but to accept – I do not like being told a thing. I will not be told what to do. I will not be made to fear anything that I am supposed to trust. I was taught that my own human brain was not enough to make it through this lifetime, that I needed to depend on something outside of myself…which, duh…I do that…but, that which I depend on is NOT tangible, but is comprised only of Love and Spirit. When you are raised to label things, “Spirit” is not recognizable to a lot of people who have been told that Spirit does not exist.

To a lot of people, “Spirit” is the devil, because there is only one God, and that one God according to a lot of unenlightened people is the rule of law.

No thank you.

It is scary trusting one’s own self when you have been taught not to trust anything you came up with on your own

I have no issues with religion. Let us get that much straight right now. I have no issues if others want to share what is their belief with me, and in kind, others should not have issues with me being a very rapt audience because part of my work in this lifetime has a lot to do with deprogramming of the beliefs regarding powerful and titled people, so that said people can maintain what are their beliefs, all while also maintaining their own level of self-trust, which is the very self-trust that too many organized religions, for years, used to tell people that we are not to trust ourselves.

The issue with trusting one’s own self, namely when one has not been taught anything other than the opposite of that, and mainly when what has been taught and the underlying message of what has been taught is basically that other people, mostly people who others perceive as somehow powerful, and more so than we are, are smarter than we are, other people know better what is good for us, and we have been taught anything but being free within our own set of beliefs.

We are taught to be the opposite, to conform to what the rest of the world tells us is the truth, but it is a truth that, while it might well be the truth, generally speaking, there is an entire other set of truths that we are taught, from a very young age, that we must believe. And we are told that we must believe it because some guy in an expensive suit and who stands behind a pulpit is the be all end all of truth.

Ummm…no…no he is not. I know that he is not, because the person who used to be that minister, the minister who would tell people, because he was told by his own minister, as a child, that we are not meant to trust our instincts…was my father.

This does not mean that he was not, by and large, telling the truth, because he was telling his congregants what were his truths. And in actuality, my dad was not the sort of preacher who would get in front of the congregation and tell everyone that they were going to go to hell. That seemed to be the bastion of my mother’s own means of keeping “the flock” in line, or at least the flock’s kids, that is. Where it was and is that most preachers shout it out from the pulpit, standing there whilst the crowd of people watch them adoringly, my own father was the sort of minister who would not stand in front behind the pulpit, because he much preferred to be able to move about the classroom.

While this has nothing to do, really, with a lot of what is being written here, the one thing that it tells you is that, even ministers of the good, born again sort, some of them break free of what is told to them to be protocol. Protocol for some of these guys is that their congregants worship the guy in the suit. They follow the lead of the herd, not realizing that it is okay to be the black sheep, not realizing that the reason that a lot of people anymore these days seem to be lost, and the reason that they are lost is because they have not yet literally found their very own personal way of believing anything.

You have been taught to not trust you, and believed it was the truth of you to do so

If there is one thing that I teach my own students first, and that is the very most important thing of all, it is to trust their own selves.

What this means is that, whatever it is that you are thinking that is about you and only you, even in regards to communicating with anyone else at all, the one person who we each are not able to lie to and fully believe the lies are our very selves. We have been taught to fear an invisible God, but have no proof that we should. This is not truthful. It is anything but truthful. The way that ANY person who is chosen by Spirit to …well, yeah…do what it is that I do for my job – the way that any cleric should be teaching anyone at all is to help them feel at ease with their own version of God.

When it is that an entire population of people whose perception of what is their own personal power is contained within a title, there is a problem. That is letting something tangible and outside of themselves tell the world a truth that is a limited version of what is the entirety of it all. This is also a person who also, like the rest of us, to a certain degree, does not trust their own self, their own sixth sense. And the worst part about it is that there are some in that set of people who, for the most part, adhere to the things that they are telling people, and who are also not telling the entire truth of who they are.

These are the people on this planet who tell us, blatantly, not to trust ourselves, but to trust this big, scary, somewhat reminiscent of a very abusive mate, deity. Please don’t think for a moment that I am writing this because I am wanting to slam on someone’s religious beliefs – quite the opposite, actually. What I am actually doing is point blank, in black and white, blatantly and in your faces telling you all that the time has come, not for one, but for EVERY person on this planet, to finally take charge and take care of the trust issues that you have with you.

This is the thing that not a lot of parents, namely the religious sort, teach their children. This is a problem and is so because it creates dependent children who grow up to be dependent, needy adults. If you thought about it for a moment, you would see the thing that I am talking about, and you would see, too, in your own life, where it is that you were taught to be needy and dependent.

I was taught to depend on and need the opinion of other people, and for a very long time I did just that. I depended on others to tell me who I was, and in kind I ended up doing exactly the thing that I now know was not the thing that I should have done. When a mother tells her child that he or she needs to depend on themselves, normally it means that said child needs to depend on their own leanings, and depend on their own truths, but then you have those mothers who are more inclined to leave the raising of their kids to the truths of a person in a suit and a smirk and who is also like said mother, but, unlike the said mother, is the guy spilling all of his own truths as they are deciphered by him from that holy text that he derives every truth that may well be applicable to him, or worse, applicable to the waiting ears, eyes, minds, hearts and souls of the multitude of people in the congregation which he refers to as being his flock.

So, what are the odds that a kid, unless they chose to rebel in a manner that was not one of the seven deadly sins (one cousin chose sex, another drugs…I chose rock n roll and talking to the spirits of those who have gone home…everyone has their own poison, so to speak), is going to go against the things that this person up front in a suit, because said kid’s mother believes every word coming out of that man’s mouth, and because that same mother, just like her kid, still holds a dependent energy about her and one that makes it so that she will follow, rather than lead or be stand alone?

Now, think of that same mother, that same kid, and as that kid gets older, said kid decides that they will begin to trust their own selves, go with what it is that their gut is telling them, and know now that this is not something that most child behavioral specialists could call being a normal teenager. This is and should only be thought of as said kid beginning to depend on his or her own self and realizing earlier than later that everything that they hear, are told, believe, to that point, may or may not, now, or ever, really, be something that they can believe.

It begins within us each, this questioning of what we have been taught as truth that we are expected to keep as truth, even the very moment that we start to recognize our gut reaction.

Gut Reaction

Basically, the way that we sense things is literally physically. We are equipped with an early warning system, and that system is located within us, inside that area called “the gut.” You’re gut will tell you when you are right, and when you are in danger, and when you get a warm feeling in your gut, and one that is that of comfort, you are not guessing – you are correct.

The other way is true, too – when your gut tells you to run – NOW!…you just do it, right?

And you’re usually right, right?

Okay…

Listening to someone else, and going against what is that tightness in your gut, that is not comfortable, and makes you know that something is just not right, or is at least to be questioned. I get it. I know what it is like to go against my own gut reaction, time and time again, when I ignored my own voice, it never worked out for me. When I followed what my gut, heart and soul all said at one time, I never went wrong. It is the way that I make big decisions these days. It has been like this for me …let’s say that the last time that I followed my gut reaction was the last time I had to. It was the right decision.

When I began the practice of shutting the voices of the past out of the choices I have made in the last few years, I also began the chain of events of things happening in my life, at any time in that span of years, that brought me to this me. I like this me.

Actually, I love this me.

Trusting You is Hard

There are a whole lot of people who do not trust their own decisions. I hear a whole lot about major life decisions, made recently, in the lives of people who crawl into my ears and live there in the safety that is their privacy, my secrecy. I ask them how their physical body feels when I ask certain questions. They are the same question, but are not the same words in the question each time. Each question causes a physical reaction, one that is tightness, or one that is warmth.

This is how you learn to trust you – you learn to ask you the right questions, and not questions that other people have asked you about you. You don’t bother with asking you the degrading things that others ask you about you. Bother only to ask what you have done or said to make them so upset with you. What was the action? What were the words? What do you recall being the reason for those actions and those words? How did you correct it for you, and even if it hurts, how have you remained so strong through it all?

These questions, folks, are the ones that bring to you the truth that is your own. You were never meant to try hard to live by someone else’s rules and someone else’s truths. Even religious people should follow this standard, for the simple FACT that eventually, and one day, they find out that knowing one’s own self and being honest and yes, trusting your sixth sense, are all a part of the plan which whatever deity it is that you are choosing to follow – that deity, so long as you trust in it, and as long as you are allowed to follow your own rules if they don’t bring harm to yourself or others…that very deity will always be there, and what’s more, you will, yourself, learn that the rules set in place for you as a child worshiping that deity was false.

You were being told what you should believe by human beings who needed other humans to validate them and the truths that they themselves might not really believe.

Some of them do it for the paycheck.

None of us needs to do a thing that we are not being told by our own inner selves is not right for us.

You know what is right for you.

Ask yourself why you do not believe a word you are saying to you

I Love You All

ROX

JustRoxMemeForBlog

_COMPLETED

GhettoAllegory Neptune

Click on the pictures to read the blogs !

 

 


On Learning

Human beings are built for learning. It is our freedom of thought and our free will which causes us to learn, or not to learn. The question always, in every situation, begs to be asked – “What Have You Learned?”

*****

I am a big believer in learning, and in teaching, and with the right teacher, under the right set of circumstances, anyone at all can learn whatever it is that we put our minds to. This is not news. This is not something that we all do not inherently know. This is the truth. The thing about learning, though, is that it is at our option if we will take up the lessons brought to us by Spirit, brought to us by our own soul’s heeding them into our lives. There is truth to the idea that we need very dearly to be careful what we wish for. Yes, it has to do with Karma, but more, it has to do with what it is that we have, through our souls, asked to learn upon entrance into this lifetime.

Lessons and learning them are two separate things. We are given lessons because we ask for them in the form of “I Wish I Had/Did/Could/Tried/Etc” and some of them are lessons which we were meant to learn upon entrance into this lifetime. This is what is meant by our being told to be careful what we wish for because we may well get those things, those situations, and of course, those people. We need to be very careful when asking and wishing for things. It is not the actual words spoken but more, the intention and the energy behind those things.

When we set out onto our days, and this is the hardest part to believe, it is upon waking that the things that we set into motion begin to play out, and we are none the wiser to it. This is what happens when we tell the universe that we want something, and it is not out of our mouths that it is stated, but rather and more so from the heart and soul within us each. When we are wishing death on someone, wishing harm on someone, wishing that we had never met them, wishing anything at all, and we have our emotional soulful selves backing up our play, we can guarantee that, even as we will not like the outcome, we will learn what we must, and the Universe will choose the right teacher for us to learn from.

This was something that I did not quite understand when I was a younger person. I went with the premise that we are the fools of an angry god who only brought us here to pick on us and make us into his slaves. This is really the way that my little brain perceived my parents’…hell…my entire family’s beliefs in a higher power. As I grew older, I began to see the realities of what was happening, and I realized, much later in my lifetime, that God is relative to who is willing to be enslaved, not by God, but by the people running God’s show. This simply means that what I was taught in regards to belief, in regards to anything at all, was a pawn of fate. I was taught that we humans are not powerful enough to think on our own, without some big, scary…thing…out there in the big scary Universe and that if I did things outside of what God wanted us to do according to the Old Testament’s Ten Commandments, that I would be headed for hell for sure.

The one thing that no one thinks about is that while all humans have the capacity to be followers, others, leaders, there are some of us who roll on our own.  We are taught “pack mentality” as children, and we are taught that majority rules and that our lone voice does not count. We are taught that the bigger person is always who comes out on top, not realizing that what we are hearing is not what is being said, but you can’t tell a kid that – kids will believe and know and understand through the mechanism of their imagination. They will believe that it is the bully, who is normally the bigger person physically, who wins, and with that thought in their heads, they will go on in life to be bullied, because we are not more clear about it when we are telling them what actually is the “bigger person.”

I am using this example because it is the one that draws a picture for us all as to how we learn what we do and where it is that our own methods of learning comes from. I used to be this kid, the one with the big fat imagination, but in my life as a child, things that were big were meant to be scary. It was what I was taught – to fear – and is also what I learned, very well, the idea that the bigger they, whoever they might be, are, the more chances that I would have at being afraid. This was the thing that I was taught in church, as well, because no one bothered to clarify for me what it meant to be the “bigger person.” I was not a “big” person. It was often said that I was “a stick,” was akin to a starving mantis who could not fight for herself, that I would be best served by hanging onto a pole cemented into the ground should a slight breeze visit my awareness. I had always been, remain to be to this day, not a very large person.

Imagine being a tiny little kid and being told these things. Tiny little kids have great big imaginations. It is our imagination which teaches us our mode, our method, our ability, our everything regarding our being able to create our lives. A child is going to learn from his or her own awareness of things, from his or her own imagined thought about what is, and what is not “big.” In my imagination, things that were big were equally scary. I was always scared of “big fat spiders,” and always worried that if I went swimming in what is my spiritual origin – the ocean – that surely a big angry Shark would come and eat me…funny how these days people refer to me as “The Mama Shark” in terms of getting my Artemis Spirit thing on, right?

How we are taught is as important as what we are taught, but certainly not as important as what we choose to learn

Choosing to learn is the part of life that either makes us or breaks us. Where it is that a person would rather see everything in terms of their own version of “black and white,” there is an entire gray area that no one thinks about, the area in our lives where we have no answers and where the only answers are the ones that make no sense, at least not right that moment.

It is not within our ability to learn things as much as it is stored within our ability to accept and apply what it is that we have learned. It is like when we choose to train our pets, or perhaps to train our children to use the toilet – it is not our method of teaching as much as it is our method of learning that matters most. Most of us want to learn the easy way, but that rarely happens and rarely happens because most of the time, it is the negatively charged happenings within the boundaries of our lives that cause us to learn. It is everything in our awareness that makes us know what is comfortable and uncomfortable and normally we are apt to remember what it was that we learned that was not so great.

This causes a negative energy within us that tells us that we are going to have to learn the hard way. This is how we do things, because this is how we are taught from a very young age that every action has its own consequence, and every time we do anything at all, there is a consequence attached. This is what causes a lot of us to stay stuck in the energy that we should not risk anything, that what we know right now is enough and that perhaps we are too old to learn anything at all.

Ummm…NOT

We do not stop learning. We do not stop being taught, if not by people like me whose job it is to enlighten and teach the ways of Spirit, then by Spirit Herself. We do not stop learning when we are granted a degree from college, and we do not stop learning once a lesson that we are aware we are learning has been learned. Always, there is a lesson that we are learning. Whether it is that we have learned it because we asked through prayer or meditation or whether it is that we set things in motion karmically, we are never not learning.

It is the reason that I tell people, all the time, to pay attention to what is happening in their lives, because they may miss the message being given. I tell people all the time to broaden their thinking, because it will make room for things to happen for them in a manner that makes sense. I tell my students to question themselves always, and tell them, too, that what they need to learn, they will learn, and it will be in the same manner that the harshness of life comes to them – raw, ugly, a jumble-fuck of a confusing mess that seems to have no end to it at all, and one that is likely a very important lesson for them to learn in terms of what they are here for and what their mission is and more, who that mission is to be carried out with.

We ask for things, and we are not clear on the reality of what we are truly asking for. Where it is that we are asking for one thing, it may well seem that another thing is what we get, and what we don’t get at that moment when it seems that the entirety of the Universe has the deck stacked against us, what is really happening is that we are being refined by the fires of life, are about to take on a lesson in the Firewalk of Spirit so as to create from the proverbial coal that we think we are, the diamond which we so fiercely want to protect and keep for ourselves when in fact it is meant that our brilliance is to be seen by the All Of Us.

The question “What have you learned?” is meant to spark within us all more questions regarding the question. There is never only one lesson to be learned. We must think of the things that come with the bigger lessons as the electives that are meant as the balancing act of the Goddess that tells us that we are to apply those electives and the learning from them to the big fat thing that we would rather avoid because in our avoidance of those things there is the energy that we do not have to face them at all. This is wrong. We have to face the things that no longer serve us, have to deal with the ugliness to get to the beauty that is within the energy that scares the hell out of us, or, in some cases, where learning the truth of spiritual beliefs, having the hell scared INTO us. It really doesn’t matter, either, because no matter what, and whether we want to or not, we will learn, if not in this lifetime, then in another one that we do not realize that, because we chose not to learn, we must return in body from Spirit to learn what we could not face.

It pays for us each to face the monsters in the closets of our minds, pays for us to know what is useful, what is memorable and worth keeping, and pays dividends in terms of making room for all the good things to come into our lives when we choose to learn to release what we think keeps us safe but in reality, keeps us running around in circles trying to find the end of the things that make us crazy, and not in a good, lampshade at a party sort of way.

Learn, for no other reason than that none of us likes to face our own demons, our own ugliness disguised as the monsters in the closet of our minds.

If we don’t learn to tame the monsters, we won’t find out that it was not a monster but rather and only that teddy bear we so loved as a child…the very one who was responsible for keeping the monsters at bay…

…kinda get it now?

I Love You All!

ROX

Dolphins_Mana_O_Blog_Meme

Click here to “Like” #TheManaOBlog on Facebook

Medicine Dance Hula on Facebook


%d bloggers like this: