Tag Archives: Belief

That which we are not aware of

Betty Sun_Jet Li_Fearless_Mana_O_Blog

In terms of being aware, it is not what we are absolutely aware of that we need to hone, but that which we are unaware of and that we are creating that we need to learn…

Awareness: having knowledge of something and especially of something not generally known or apparent (from Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary,1973, pg 78)

Until we are aware of something, we are unaware.

Yeah, I know…duh… 

The reality is, though, unfortunately, that we humans can be severely unaware of what is happening with our own selves, and lots of times it is not a bad thing, even though those lots of things might actually be very, very tough to deal with, let alone live through. At this moment in our shared lives we are finding that there is a LOT of stuff that we are going through, that perhaps a lot of us have denied through the mechanism of being awful in terms of how it is that we feel about ourselves and our abilities.

And let me tell you what – every one of us is going through something right now. I am sure that if you bothered to look at the less than rosy things in your life (you know…the things that take you away from having to deal with the things that you would rather not? Yeah…I’m onto ya…keep reading), you might not be able to see it right away, but in that garbage is what it is, at the bottom of it all, you are learning. And you are not learning to do something OTHER than become aware.

Awareness is that thing that we want, but is something that reveals the truth, not only about other people, but mostly about ourselves. While it is that we do not want to look at the ugliness that exists within the confines of our lives, what we are not thinking about is what is not apparent but is absolutely there for us to find. We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on who we are for real, that we do not buy into what others say about us that is good – we prefer to keep ourselves humble, so to speak, and keep ourselves at a level that is not the level that we each know we need to accept ourselves as being at.

This is not easy to do when we are looking at our tangible realities and finding there the things that scare the hell out of us the most. This is what this things called awareness brings us – the ability to see, perhaps even with our physical eyes, that which is unapparent to us on the physical level.

That which is apparent to us on the physical level is not all that there is to ‘see’

If I tell someone who I am coaching that there are things that they are not aware of, and things that they, themselves, cannot see, it is actually a very good thing that some of them cannot see what it is that anyone else can see and appreciate.

Sometimes, duh is better

Sometimes, it is better that we cannot see these things about us, because in doing so, we will either become so comfortable in the idea that we are changing things for ourselves that we become complacent in our efforts and end up not evolving, or, we will find ourselves so very…filled with un-belief…about the great things that we are being told, that we will over-analyze what we have been told is the truth about us as presented to us by someone else. We will make it so that within that goodness, we will find something that will invariably go ‘wrong.’ We are so much more readily available to believe the ugliness that is said about who we are, far and long before we will even think to accept what is not apparent to us and is actually both true and good. We will essentially mind-fuck it into oblivion, and we will end up continuing to believe the awful things that others have said about us and to us.

The thing about that sort of things is that, when others tell us what they feel is ‘wrong’ with us, what they are actually doing is reflecting how they feel about themselves and showing us, through the mirror who they are, what is really not completely okay about themselves. I am reminded of a mother who cannot find one good thing to say about her adult kid. When finally she does, somehow, because it is her habit and it is her way of keeping her kid a kid, she jacks things up by “balancing” the good things that she’d said by reminding her kid that somehow, they are not the best person on the planet, and why don’t you listen to mommy more?

Well, why would anyone want to listen to someone who never encourages another person to be all that they can be and do so without all of the (ahem) ‘constructive criticism’? (I am sorry, but, that is not a real thing, by the way – how can criticism ever be constructive? It is way, way destructive…keep reading…) It is not that they have a bad thing to say to us or about us, at least for the most part. It is that they are not happy with themselves, or they feel like they are entitled to our changing who we are so that they can feel better about themselves through the mechanism of reflecting their own ‘bad’ onto someone who is essentially ‘good.’

This is the truth. I did not make this up.

On this planet we share the air with people who have been told their entire lives that, because they are not willing to conform to someone else’s level of comfort, that somehow, they are ‘bad.’ What else is the truth is that not one of us has to accept what is someone else’s bullshit when it comes to things like who we are to anyone, namely and mostly ourselves. The damage that is caused by people not thinking before they speak, or perhaps not thinking at least about how it would feel if they were to be told the same things that they habitually say to others…that damage is huge and that damage lasts as long as it takes for a person to raise their level of awareness, at least to the point where what is being said cannot be proved as true.

It is only true if we choose to believe it.

At that point, we make their truth, our truth. At that point, we are living and being the person who they see and who they have a problem with. At that point, what we are doing is anything other than being true to ourselves. We are taught for our lives long that other peoples’ opinion is the truth of us and really, the truth of us is created by and through us. Other people are just tools in that creation. They are there with their cutting words and their biting assumptions, there with words but without a clue. They are there to make sure that they get what they need into our ears and our psyche, and there to help us choose what they are in terms of what it is that they bring to us.

Choosing who they are vs. allowing them to choose for us who we are

In the last paragraph, I wrote that we get to choose who they are in our lives. To make sure that things are more clear for you, let’s see these people as actual tools in a toolbox.

Now, realize that I have almost zero clue about what tool is useful for what job and that for the most part, I am using this only as an example. Inside of a toolbox there are several different tools. Each of those tools has a different purpose.  Each of them does different things, even though lots of them might look a whole lot alike.  Some are exactly alike but are a different size, meaning that even as they might look like something else, they are outwardly and essentially the same, but do not have the same purpose.

NOW…let’s look at the other side of this…the side where you call a guy to repair something.

That guy knows his stuff, and here you are, questioning that guy about his stuff. You sit there telling that guy what he should do according to you, and all the while, that guy is the one who is going to, without your help, either fix what needs to be fixed or leave the repair job, and all because you have shit to say about something that you called on him for. Because you do not know what this guy has already gone through earlier in his work day, you are taken aback when he tells you that you can fix it yourself, and you are offended by him when he hands you his tools and tells you to do it yourself (since you know better than the expert).

…the difference being…

In one instance, we are who, in our DIY manner, chooses who is and who is not a tool for us. We choose who will sharpen us through their words and their sordid thoughts about us. We choose who will strengthen us by their measure of trying hard to make us weak every chance they get. We determine what tool will be best for what job and what part of us needs to be made whole. When we are the one doing the choosing, we are managing who we are through whatever means it is that other people bring to us. In other words, we are not believing what others say of us that is not that great and who are choosing their stuff to measure against our stuff and we are finding out the truth through them without them realizing it.

In the other instance, when we call out someone else about their stuff and we believe them, we are allowing them to create for us an awareness that is not our own, and we are telling them that, because they have a problem, and since they are more willing to see what they think we are not able to do versus the reason why they called us out or upon us for whatever reason they have, we are letting them be in control and we are allowing them into that sacred place of wholeness that only we can see to. This is not to say that we do not, from time to time, in our actual abodes, not in need of someone to come and actually fix stuff for us. It is saying that when it comes to the home that is our peace of mind, the last thing that someone …anyone…needs is one more person telling us that they have a better way of doing things and why are we not doing things their way?

When it comes to that point is when we have to choose who they are to us…are they a tool? Are they someone in need of our specific help with themselves? Are they someone in need of specific help with themselves and who would rather not fix who they are – they would rather tell other people how said other people are not able to do what it is that we are all able to do, so long as we do it ourselves and without believing the things that people tell us is the truth of us.

Basically, the way that we become aware of the things that we are not topically aware of is simply trhrough observance, through listening, through paying attention to the things that others are telling us is the truth of who we are. What you will notice is that everything that they have to tell us about us is typically about them, as well, and when they tell us what they tell us, it is a reflection of themselves, not of us. We are not taught this way. We are taught to believe other people. We are taught to not trust us. We are taught to be beholden to the opinions of other people, and we are not taught that the only opinion of ourselves that truly matters comes from ourselves.

The hardest part of all of this awareness stuff is not that we have to look at what other people think of us. It is that we have to learn to accept that which is GOOD about us and learn to stop accepting what is bad about us according to other people.

The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best… “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”

The Truth…it completely rocks…namely when it is that we are the creators of our own…

Live Aloha…

I Love You All… ROX



Medicine Dance Book Cover Front Draft RJB

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We Survive

Light workers know that much of the work we do in the world deals with lots of toxic people. How we manage to navigate the tainted and torrid waters of life with these toxic people is nothing short of miraculous, because toxicity in any form can end a life. There are ways that we do this, and all of them point to survival, but the one thing we know works the best may (or may not) surprise you

I pray. That’s right. I said it. Deal with it. I pray. I pray in thanks to the Mother Goddess for having had my back all this time that I have been breathing and in this lifetime, and I have prayed to the Mother Goddess for peace and for transformation in times when I needed a change of pace and more, a change of scenery, and all the while, the one thing that I never thought about was not being able to survive all of the ugly things that were forced on me throughout the course of my lifetime.

I have said it again and again, that the thing about a person who has been someone else’s victim and what that person wants the most is simply to survive the thing that might currently be eating their life. It is true that there are people who share the air with us who will do anything at all to try to bring another person, no matter who they are, and likely many more other persons, to their proverbial knees, just because that is what they do the best.  These are the very people who cause us to have a reason to want to survive. It happens early on, when we are building trust with certain people, and while we are doing what we think we ought to do, there is always that “thing” in the back of our heads that is of a cautionary energy, that is there and in place to warn us, even as we might not heed that warning, of danger.

Of course, sometimes, those people who are toxic and who we end up spending an awful lot of time with…sometimes the reason that they do not leave and remain a part of our lives is because unbeknownst to them and to us, they are about to teach us an important lesson, and one that is a many-years long teaching, because what lies ahead for us is awesome, is magnificent, and is, in many ways, no way compatible with who we are when these very douche-baggish people end up in our lives for many, many years. I know this story, as I have lived it, and if there is one thing that I know that the people who I can do nothing about in terms of their being able to get a clue, let alone grasp onto it and learn why it is that this particular clue has come to them in the form of a life issue, it is the idea that until we learn whatever it is that these….people with ill intent…have to teach us, and until we have learned the lesson in completion, they are there and staying there in our lives until we learn.

Yet, once we do learn, there are other, better things that happen for us, and sometimes, those things, even though they do not completely make sense even as they make perfect sense, becomes the reward and more or less the diploma of graduation for us having survived it all. And how did we survive it all?

Easy….first we pined over things that could have been (been there, done that, but don’t have to do that anymore)…then, we got really, really mad at the idea that we did not see it all coming, and then it just kept coming, and soon afterwards we realized without realizing that what we have in our midst is not going anywhere, and that, no matter what, we have to do what we can to not only find our way out of such awful circumstances, but more than that, the most of us will end up doing like we always did – we dropped to our knees in fervent prayer, and started begging for mercy, begging for the other person’s karmic reward, and then one day, we grew up to the idea that we got ourselves into this, and that since we were able to help create such a situation, that we would also be able to create a way out of it.

The thing that we didn’t think about, even though we were correct, was that it was gonna take time, tears, patience, and a whole lot of other things, with one of the most important things being prayer.

Yet, while we were all children, sitting in the pews, or sitting at our auntie’s house – either way, when we were young, we were taught something very important, and that something is prayer. What we were not taught, though, was that praying to Spirit is effective, as long as those prayers are directed and embody the energy of Spirit. We were not taught this part. We were only taught that Spirit likes to hear from us, and that Spirit likes to help us, and that Spirit likes to do a lot of things on our behalf. What we were not taught was that effective prayer dictates that we must believe that the outcome has been set, that we must be able to see the outcome as being beneficial to everyone involved – yes, even the person or persons who caused our proverbial okoles to itch like we had plenty ukus, and through it all, we had to trust that our prayers not only were heard, but that they would also be effectively and ultimately answered.

This is all fine and good, but when you are in the middle of the worst hell you have ever gone through, effective prayer is something that anyone who wants to survive anything at all doesn’t think about. In fact, when shit hits the fan, it is the last thing that we are thinking about. It might seem like it is sort of cruel, or perhaps even a bit on the daunting side to think that we would be answered, because if we were really that well liked, let alone loved, by this altruistic being we cannot see, we would not have to go through whatever bullshit it is that we have been met with. When a person is in survival mode, survival really is the only thing on their mind. When a person feels like their lives are the very middle core of hell, there is not a whole lot that that person will believe in terms of some….energy…in the great big “out there” is somehow going to help us just because we need that help and want that help.

The things that visit our lives in the times when we are looking to the heavens and wondering if something bigger than us is up there and staring back at us are the things that, at one point in consciousness, we, without knowing and without being too, too detailed about it all, asked for something. Maybe we asked for a clue about patience, or maybe it was the truth of love between two people, or maybe it was work that utilized one’s own ethereal gifts, or whatever it was…when we asked, we were not clear about things. We were emotionally not able to clearly state what it was that we really wanted, and it came out as,and the intention, as well, was what it was, and what it was, at that time, and according to your own asking and intent and willingness to receive it in the manner that it was asked for – you got exactly what you asked for.

Now, it might not have been what you thought it would be, the way that the lesson was brought to you, and neither how you learned it, but the bottom line is that here you are, in the Now, and you cannot begin to see who you were back then as being anywhere near who you are now, and yes, you likely asked for it, even as you didn’t know that the way to get to where you are now, as a survivor, was meant to teach you to survive whatever it was that you went through, thereby making you stronger, quicker in thought and action, and more than anything, able to take on a lot more than you ever thought you could. While it is that the way that anyone who can call themselves a survivor might suck, will make a person cry, will make them be really, really mad at the world and usually pissed off all the time, one must admit that when any one of us looks back at where we have been and what we have accomplished, the lessons that we learned from these less-than-desirable people in our lives are priceless.

They are priceless because they were tailored by us, and we don’t know it, and because we created them, we know, too, that we can get through them, but we do not know this until after the lesson has been learned. I am reminded of the twenty year cycle that we all go through, and how it is that, after twenty years passes, in that set of years that passes, and at the onset of those years, beginning after the idea that we thought we lost anything, is when we began to craft the solution to our big giant ugly issues. We don’t realize that in the time that passes, while it might seem that there was nothing but pain and loss, the reality is that most of the time, it would hurt more to lose what we had at that time, because what we had at that time, even the people who are our teachers, was all we had and due to the nature of the lessons, were really what we needed.

The most brilliant teachers in our lives are some of the most clueless people.  They are clueless in that they fail to see that there are other people on the planet. They are clueless in that, when they see themselves as the victim and they take their victim show out into the world, they fail then, too, because they are too ready to take without reciprocating whatever energy it is that they stole from us under false pretenses. They are clueless in that, they themselves are in an ass load of pain, and in their cluelessness have failed to realize that it does not take pain that is going to last a long time to get over one’s own pain and that sharing that pain with other people rather than being able to get through it on their own…well, that is where the sucking of life from others takes on another paleness. This is when it begins, the harsh lessons. This is also when we learn to pray effectively.

When we learn to address the Mother Goddess with respect, and not with expectancy on her and entitlement on our part is when the effective nature of the belief in our own power as energetic people through the belief that we carry within us begins to shape itself. When we learn to be grateful for the ability to believe, based on the unbelievably horrible things that have brought us to our knees at one point, and then brought out our own glorious brilliance at yet another point, and we have, at that time, proof positive that we are indeed powerful as long as we are able to believe that we are at all times, and more, that we have help in the form of Spirit – this is when prayer works. It does not work when we are willing to make deals with and bargain with Spirit, because Spirit is all powerful and needs none of us to make deals with Her. It does not work when we are babbling some strangeness, in hopes that the Mother Goddess will be impressed by our rather large vocabulary, our airy-fairy voices and take our words as being the right and matching energy to our intention. It doesn’t work that way.

What does work is a sincere idea, a right intention, about the things that we know we need, things that we know can only come from a collaborative effort between ourselves and the divine that it works. It is the one time that we have got to have faith, not only that Spirit hears us, but that we are also faithful and just to receive what it is that we know we need versus what it is that we want.

Once it is that we can get our thoughts to be where they need to be and we believe that we are powerful enough and that our intentions are right enough and that everyone included in our “Dear God(dess)” thing we each have goin’ on, this is when we will see, physically with our human type eyes, the nature of effective prayer. There is not one person who can call themselves a Survivor of anything at all who does not know that this is the very truth of things, that this is the be all and the end all of the everything that has broken our hearts and made us all crazy with so many emotions that to think about things in our lives and every situation where prayer would have been the very thing that anyone needed.

Basically, if you want your prayers to work, you have to do like a Pisces and simply, without caution and without reserve, believe. You have to believe that you are being heard and that at the moment the thoughtful prayers began, that they were already answered…

I Love You All !



Practice what you Preach (like for real)

If there is anything at all that will irritate anyone at all, it is someone who does not walk their talk. If there is anything that will irritate anyone at all who is NOT a follower of any mainstream religions it is when certain set of mainstream believers will preach their gospel so it suits their needs at the moment, but who, for the life of them, can’t see themselves as being anything other than “good.” I’ve got news for ya…you’ve got another thing comin’ !


Yes…hell yes, indeed, I did write a Judas Priest lyric into this writing, because for one – I am tired as hell of “fine, good, and upstanding” people – most of them Christian followers (but they cannot possibly be true believers – true believers have a problem with lying or acting as though they are really what they say they are…keep reading…).

Note that I wrote “followers,” rather than “believers,” and I did so for a reason.  There are a few of you who are reading this, who know me well enough to know that if there is one thing that I am VERY good at, it is not only speaking the truth as it is in my head at any moment, but more, the idea that if I am able to see someone being a phony, I am very truly inclined to call them on it. Yet, I am also one of those people who can see it when it is there, the energy that is fear, and let me tell you something, once it is that the fear sets in, you are pretty much done with.

With that much known, it prompts me to continue on this…I don’t know…quiet tirade about something that I just was witness to, and that something was not anything, really, other than an epiphany about the way that I was raised, versus the way that I see a lot of people behave, versus the way that I know it right. What I saw was nothing short of very…”Marie Antoinette” in that, the way this “good” phony behaved was so very NOT like what Christ would have wanted to happen.

For a group of people who, at least and measured by the thing that I saw just a little while ago, want everyone they come into contact with to believe what they believe (which is normally everything that their guy up front in a way too pricey suit says is the truth…sorry folks…I ain’t buyin’ it), and a lot of them are very pushy about it, so that they, the people who they come into contact with, can also make it through the pearly gates…well, there are quite a whole lot of them who seem to think, too, that there is somehow some magical pass that makes them more forgiven if they live a lie.

This is not to say, neither to assume, that they all live this same lie, the lie that sounds like so many politicians trying to win votes and favor. Neither is it to be taken as though I somehow hate all Christians. I hate no one. I mean, I come very close to hating someone, and then someone else gives me a distraction and I am no longer trying to stop myself from wanting to poke needles into the entirety of a tiny little doll, a doll that should never be used when angry, or filled with rage, or thinking that you hate someone.

It is to say that if your religious beliefs state somewhere within that belief’s holy texts, that you are to love all, to show compassion to all (you know…like that guy who you all tell everyone else died for our sins? duh), to fear nothing, because God has you, then the last thing you want to do is stray from that belief, namely if you are trying to make it so that (ahem) “others” don’t make people like me…’sin’, because what you are doing when you do that shit is you are showing people like me (the original sinners of the world) that not only do you NOT trust the god to whom you kneel, you also like believing that all of those rules which were set out long ago (yes…rules…I said it so deal with it), that some of them somehow do not apply to you.

And you all know who I am talking about. I am talking about those people who will be in your face about “the lawd” this and “the lawd” that, but that is all just a buncha crap. I say this because while it is that they are lawding everyone in their midst, they are hiding who they are. These are the people who you hear in church, who are the loudest and the most inclined to kiss the pastor’s okole, garnering his favor (rather than God’s), and being very vociferous in their incantations to “the lawd.” And they behave as though some of us are not clued into one thing – the idea that while they are lawding everyone, they are, after service, outside the church, committing every single one of the seven deadly sins.

What I heard was not as upsetting as what I saw. For a group of people who are meant to be the bastion of what is the “Love of God,” there sure are a whole lot of those people who claim to be what they are who have forgotten that in the book they love to thump people with are the rules by which they – the thumpers- believe and follow, and this is wonderful – until they start doing the very things that they are out on the street (sometimes literally…with a bullhorn even, and in my town, several different languages) preaching to the world of non-believers that we need to do.

I, frankly, have had enough.

I have had enough of the holier than thou, the get out of hell free card mentality that tells a whole bunch of these people that because they specifically are ‘saved’ that they also have the right to judge others, have the right to stick their noses up in the air and pick and choose which of the least of us it is who they will consider as being a human being, or at least a “whole” human being.  I have had enough of people preaching “the word” of God so that it fits their agenda, and I have had enough of people telling me that they trust their god so damned much, but that they do not trust him enough to take care of their every need – somehow, that is up to someone else, because their god makes it so that people like me and you – you know…us godless heathens- never ever are listened to, are never thought of as anything but crazy (because, you know, that the dead talk to me …that makes me a tool of satan….whatever, crazy lady) and never are we taken as being as serious about our own beliefs as they are theirs.

It is almost as though these people haven’t the thought in their heads that they, through their absolute energy of being a fraud, are not the cat’s ass, are not the only people on the earth who follow a belief, and that sometimes, when you come into contact with someone who is not like you are, you tend to think that you are better than anyone else. I am sorry, cookies, but you are not better than anyone else, not at all. In fact, that many of you seem to believe that you are allowed to get away with things that the rest of us are not tells me that these people are great at one thing: being really awesome phonies.

Deal with it. It is the truth, and I like the truth. The truth, while it might truly set us free, it also levels the playing field. No one likes it when someone else chooses on their own that God will love one person over another. It doesn’t work that way, at all, and I know this because I refer to Spirit, the very one which dictates all of life, as “The Goddess,” and I promise you all that I have yet to encounter anything that I, myself, did not bring into being on my own and with Her help. You see, when we are taught that there is a bigger force out there somewhere, and that we have to be afraid that that force will teach us harshly, the last thing that any thinking human being is going to do is listen to anyone who will have that sort of an opinion of things.

There is no need for anyone to be scary, no need to impose onto other people one’s own determination of who is and who is not worthy of the light of Love. It is no human’s right to speak one truth as it has been read by you, and then take said same truth as being applicable to everyone BUT you. I mean really…they are YOUR beliefs, and since it is that they are YOURS, that is all that should really matter, but it never matters because there are a lot of good people on this planet who have no religion, and yes, I happen to be one of them. I do not need to follow your God, and I do not need to live my life as a lie as set forth by people who have twisted the words for their own personal gain and glory.

What I saw, while it did not change me, it changed my thought about people who enforce impossible rules, set impossible standards for humans who are going to screw up. No one is “sinless,” not even the guy behind the pulpit. The people who this is directed at are not those who attend their various places of worship faithfully and who actually live the truth of what it is to be whatever it is that they have chosen to call their Path.

Some of them stray from their own path, and their own beliefs, and do so right after services, because that is what they are believing is right. To go out into the world and speak one’s truth is one thing, but to go out into the world and speak words that one does not intend on sticking to themselves?

Yeah…that’s called bullshit, and I am done with it all.

STOP making yourselves out to be these people who have it all, including the very keys to the gates to heaven, because really, you have no right to judge…

…it says so in that book you want to keep thumping people with.

Perhaps you ought to try following, and not leading.



The Dimensions in Which We Live

Just like it was found out that the world is not flat, it is also not so unbelievable that there is more than only this 3rd dimension reality that the majority of us are choosing to believe is the only one which exists. It isn’t.

I need for you, the reader, to come away from the idea that what you see in front of your face is the only reality, and dimension, that we live in. There are a lot of us who, because of the things that we have seen, done, heard, been through, KNOW, in an unwavering manner, that this third dimension is not the only one that exists.

To believe that this were the truth, one would have to put aside things like synchronicity, have to stop believing in the God to whom they kneel and give homage to, would have to really just not think with more than only that tiny ten percent of their own brain’s power.  The third dimension is nice. There are people here, and there are things to do and see here, but there are other dimensions.

The reason that a lot of folks don’t believe this is because they are stuck in 3D. Being stuck in 3D means that some folks are not able to think past what they have been taught. Meaning also that the things that are only here and now and in your face are the only reality.

This is not correct, at least not for quite a few of us.

The illusion of there only being a 3-Dimensional consciousness

I am sure that you have heard about the Fifth Dimension. No, I am not talking about that great band from the ’70’s – I am talking about this reality in which we live in that, because there are like, billions of us on the planet, is a chosen thing. You have to choose to be beyond the consciousness of the physical Now, of this one reality, and be able to accept that we are, ourselves, NOT 3-dimensional, but rather are infinite in the dimensional thing as long as we all realize that this is the truth.

These dimensions exist, but they are within us, on a collective conscious level. This is the reason that meditation is very important in the lives of those seeking their own measure of what is “The Truth.” There is so much more to us than only what we have been taught, only what we have been told, and if we were more inclined to jump at a situation because in the tangible, 3D sense, we will end up with more than we had, we are not living at all in the manner that is meant for us to. We were never meant to remain in the linear fashion that we think we can only exist. We are finite, but not. We are the ultimate paradox of all paradoxes.

This is possible, this whole…dimensional thing…because of our brain and its amazingness. You see, as children, in school, we are taught, told even, that we only use 10% of our brains, and as those children, the very ones who were taught to believe everything that our “elders,” including our teachers and whoever else was an adult in our lives at that time, we did not question what it was that we were being taught.

We just believed what we were told, trusted the adults in our lives, and went along our merry way. Then, one day, our own personal levels of rebelliousness set into us, and we began, at least some of us, not only questioning every authority figure in our lives, but more, we began to question everything…from the things that we were taught in church, to the things that we were taught at school, and even the things that we were taught and shown at home.

It was at this time in our lives that we knew that somehow, what we were being taught was somewhat not complete, that it would never be complete, and on our way we went to find out our own truths, and from those truths, form our own beliefs.

Dimensions…we have to believe they are there before they are there for us

Like anything in life, belief in things that seem unbelievable is tantamount in importance when we are talking about the idea…actually, the fact…that there are more than only the three dimensions that we know and have been told exist.

Some people believe that they only exist here and now, and while this is physically the truth, what is also the truth is that there are some of us who know differently, that there is another whole bunch of dimensions that really, my thought is that they are all and collectively, scared to know that other dimensions exist.

People fear that they cannot quantify the things which are intangible, cannot make it so those things count as proof of the measurement of who they tell people they are, or at least want to believe they are.Some things, you see, cannot be labeled as anything other than things that are not seen by the eyes yet felt by the senses which are beyond the five we are brainwashed to believe there are.

Beyond the Five

There are a lot of people who still, to this day, even with all of these strange and collective things happening in the world, give credit to “happenstance,” when really, it is not happenstance, not coincidence, because there really, at least in my own Knowing, is no such thing as either.

There is nothing real in thinking that things that happen are not connected, and this is the part that negates the idea, the thing that people want to believe which is also called “coincidence.” Coincidence, while it is a fun word, only fits when putting together long sentences at a spelling bee. There are no coincidences.

If you are still convinced that this is the only dimension that exists, and that coincidence is just a fact of life, you will not believe it when I tell you that the reason coincidences are not real is because everything in existence is part of a great big …thing…that is akin to the domino effect. This means that, perhaps a long time ago, you did something that you didn’t even think would matter right now. After that one thing that you did, you forgot about it, and so ensued the madness of the after-affects of the things that happen when we “get the ball rolling,” not realizing that that one thing that we did was the catalyst.

So, time rolls by, and something happens and very suddenly that thing that you did, thought, said, knew, way back when, came back to life, good or bad, and this was after you’d put it out of your mind and went on about the things that were your life to that point when that one thing came screaming back at you. This is NOT coincidence, but it can be loaned, the credit, that is, to our collective inability to see that a long time ago, no matter what it was, there was action taken, words spoken, etc., etc., that would bring to life something that was then, but in the Now.

While time rolled by, of course, you might have reflected back to that one thing, and when that one thing crossed your mind you passed it off as something that you just…recalled, and not really thinking that maybe the reason that you are thinking about that one thing, about almost anything, really, is NOT because you are just recalling it, but more because of the here and the now and how it pertains to then, and more, how you have grown and now know the possibilities of “stranger things have happened.” If you live in a world where possibilities are endless, you have graduated beyond the world of the 3rd Dimension and have gone on to not even believe that you are now living in a dimension where the here, the now, next week, last year, twenty years ago, twenty years from now, are all right here, right now, and you can see everything contained in them, where you are headed, where you have been, what you have done, what you will do, and so on and so forth.

If you cannot see past this 3rd Dimension, it is due to the things that you have been told to believe, the things that not a whole lot of people, until these recent generations of human beings came to this consciousness and who are being parented by generations of parents who have, throughout the course of our lives, been trained, by our very souls, to see past the things that we were told, and taught, are not real, are not there, or, my favorite, are not meant for the common human being to see, to partake in, to be part of.

What I do not and will not ever understand is that, if we are not meant to know those things, the unseen things of the All That Is, why, then, is it that there are some of us who have never not known, and why is it that those who are Ordained “God-Men” seem not only to hate people who are like me, but more, tend to fear the things that they cannot see that folks like me CAN and DO see?  These people are who tell us that there is only the finite energy that is what is tangibly in front of us, and they are also the ones who are “privy” to pointing out the sins of others for the world to see and to judge.

Let someone like me into your life and you find out that there is more to consciousness than what really and tangibly meets the eyes.

We have been taught by religion, by the things that particularly human males of the cloth want to not share with the rest of us, want to keep us ignorant to the things that truly could help us all, and it is because of their patriarchal training by other unenlightened males, who were also taught by other such humans, to teach the rest of the world how to fear the God they tell us has given them the right to be judgmental and who feel that this alone – this thing called a piece of paper which reads the words “Certificate of Ordination,” which is also a piece of paper that I, a mere woman, also has – gives them not only the power to, but more than anything else, the very right to screw with the collective energy which is the human race.

Well, I say to hell with that crapola. I say that we ought to look this particular set of god-men in the eyes and tell them, without telling them, that their time for keeping the masses of people who they have brainwashed in that brainwashed state, that they are  longer in charge.  My thinking, and this is just me being me, is that just like those crazies from the deep south did, whose leader (the man hated everyone and everything and said God hates the same things and people he did) recently croaked, we ought to, in a collective manner, protest their churches, just like they protested people for being who they truly are, and we should be out there, in our finest Pagan, Wiccan, Native and Earth Bound type ensembles, laughing joyously, carrying protest signs that tell them all that even though their message is one of hate, ours is not but one of Love.

Word to Your Mother (Goddess, that is)

The blindness that is chosen is the blindness set forth by multitudes and generations of purveyors of patriarchal belief systems throughout the ages. These people who knew these things many, many moons ago knew the power that belongs to us all, and they chose to suppress it, chose to keep it hidden from the masses and chose to, many, many moons later, keep it hidden so that a few of these god-men, even the ones who roam in the same circles that strange women like I also roam, not only could keep it hidden, but more, so that they could profit off of it and make millions of dollars doing what women like I do, for free even, which is basically impart onto the masses, information and knowledge that has always been there and waiting for us to have and to learn.

We are prompted by The Mother Goddess, by She Who is The All That is, the very one who gave us life and gives us the energy to get out there into the great big gorgeous world and do as we are meant to do. As we are meant to do is what it is that we know is the right thing, and the right thing is NOT suppression, but more and really the  injection of the Universal Truth that every single one of us is able to traverse the Universal Light Fantastic. Yet, we have not, as a whole of people, been taught this. Collectively, we have been taught and many of us believe that we are born, we live our lives, and then one day, we just die.

This is the biggest lie of all. There is so much that we do not know, that we are not willing to know, and it is because we are scared to death to know that for real, we are as powerful as we have always truly known we are.

It is our doubt, collectively, that keeps the majority of us in line, like sheep headed for the slaughter. I am here to tell you all that you are not sheep, that you are every bit as powerful as anyone else is…even that guy behind the pulpit wearing a 3000 dollar suit and a politician’s smirk.

Believe that you exist on a greater plane than only what your human-trained eyes and thoughts will not allow you to believe, because the truth is not only out there, but is also in there…

…in there, buried deep within the Bones of The Soul…

I Love You All



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Intuition : You just Know what you Know

We are all born with it, but we don’t all use it. We should use it, because without it, we really have no guidance whatsoever. It is not wrong to use what you were born with, no matter what the preacher tells you.

Call it what you want to call it, but intuition is something that we are all born with, is the thing that guides and protects us and unfortunately, is the thing that not a lot of people use to their own advantage.

I don’t understand why it is that people are so afraid of what it is that we have been born with, what it is that every creature of the mammalian persuasion has, but that the one creature of the mammalian persuasion seems deadly afraid to use – our ability to intuit things, situations and the mental machinations of other people. We sooner trust what we can physically see than what we intuitively Know.

Why it is that we are more willing to trust what other people see and know is beyond me, namely when we are each and all equipped with the very same ability to “know” things when we need to. We shun what it is that can be called the truth, and we do so because we are scared to not not know what it is once it is that the truth has been confirmed for us, through our own intuition. It is way more than only those times when we think we are guessing, when we think that it is more coincidental than much else.

We are so afraid to use what we were born with and it is cripplingly so. We do not want to grab onto what is our own Power. We fear it because inside of that power is the truth – OUR truth, and our own truth scares the hell out of us. Our own truth is not all the sort that tells us of what is not that great about us and what keeps us believing that way. Our own truth tells us that indeed we are every bit as awesome as we think we are and more. It is scary to think that we are not as damaged as we want to believe that everyone tells us is the truth.

It is bothersome to us knowing that on our own we are every bit as cool as we think we are and more bothersome because we believe that we have to live up to what we are already. Think about that last thing you just read. We are already as awesome as we need to be. In some ways we do not need any improvement, even as in many others, there is much work to be done. In our need for this improvement, whether it is a real need or an imagined need, we fail, miserably, to see who we are for real, believing only in the damages that we see there rather than the sweetness contained within our own imperfections.

Yet, the one thing about us each and all that is very cool and that we really pay not a lot of attention to is our inborn ability to intuit information. For many generations we have been taught that we are somehow, because a guy in a suit behind a pulpit said so, not amazing, that we have fallen short of the glory of a punishing god who only wants us to be enslaved to his every whim and that is that.

The reason that these guys tell us anything at all like that is control – if we, by their reasoning, are allowed to use these “magickal powers” without the permission of the god that they tell us will get us if we dare use what we are born with, most assuredly we are going to burn forever in the lake of fire. This is where a lot of our own misunderstanding comes from.

When we choose to listen to others before we listen to our own selves we end up lost in the confusion that is someone else’s understanding of things, is someone else’s thoughts and realities and someone else’s way. Organized religion wants us to not think on our own and demands that we give up the gifts we were born with and meant to use. If we all believed this much there would be no more reason for men in very expensive suits to stand before us in all of their perceived greatness, scaring the hell into us with their rhetoric of an angry, vengeful and jealous god who, like a schoolyard bully, will, at will, strike us down if we do not completely conform to whatever method of thinking and truth suits him.

It is the truth about us all, that we each will, at one time in our lives, come to the conclusion that maybe what we have been told to believe all this time was really someone else telling us this so that they would not have to be alone in their belief, and perhaps it is because no one likes being wrong. When a belief is found, not to be wrong, but simply no longer relevant to a person, this is when we start shedding what was the truth that was someone else’s in exchange for a truth that is all our own. The way that we get to that truth is NOT only asking what is someone else’s truth and comparing it to what is our own, but also is through simply trusting, literally, what our gut tells us.

What your gut tells you

You have never really lied to yourself, at least not the way that you think you have. You have had them all your life, those things called a ‘gut reaction,’ and most of the time you have heeded those reactions. It is when we are told that we have nothing to fear, and we know we do, and we are found out not too long after we ‘knew’ something that we were right. That gnawing in your gut when you just don’t want to do something or when you cannot think the way that someone else tells you to, that feeling of tightness in the middle of your Soul that reaches into your physical self and starts to give you a physical marker for the things that you needed to be confirmed about- this is what is meant to tell you when you are right, and more, when you are not right and even and especially when you are in danger.

The reactions that we have physically to anything at all is proof of our intuition at work.

Call it anything you want to call it, but what it really is is a warning system, an alarm, if you will, for things that endanger you. It is primal and embedded in each of us, just as it is in every other creature in all of mammalia. If animals in the wild still use theirs, why are we humans so hard pressed to use ours?

It is because we have been, sadly, taught to not trust our own selves. The one person on the planet who you know would not hurt you who is not everyone else and who you look at daily in the mirror – this person (YOU) is the one person who you should trust but because you have been taught since you were very young that you cannot trust your own thoughts and opinions, you mistrust your own judgment, believing that what everyone else tells you that is about you is the absolute truth of you and really, that is ass backwards.

The way that the intuition is stifled is through second-guessing ourselves. I know this monster and have learned very well as of late to tame it. For a long time I thought what was said of me was the very truth of me. Then one day I sat, through tears and thoughts of things that were not me, thoughts that told me that if I was as bad and useless as I had been told I was, then I no longer deserved to live. This was the biggest lie I had ever told me. It was not that I didn’t know better, but that forever I had been controlled by other peoples’ opinions of me.

This is what happens when you are starved for the right kind of attention and this is what happens when people who are meant to help shape who you are decide at a time when you are but a tiny little child, that who you are, who you will always be, who you will never not be, is a broken mess of a person and it is just going to be this way. Children believe in faeries and they see angels, and unless someone else comes along to tell them that those things do not exist, children will always see these things. Children believe what the adults in their lives tell them is the truth about anything and anyone, but namely about themselves.

Adults like to be in control of things. Adults like to tear things apart and tear each other down, and sometimes adults do this to children. They take away from those little tiny creatures of beauty and joy the things that make them, make us all special. Intuition is something that children use all the time. This is how they play pretend, by communicating with the beings who exist on a higher vibrational plane. Then along comes the spider called “Adult reasoning” and wrecks it all. Our intuition is an inner guidance system, is the thing that we will never be without. We cannot change this about ourselves, but without knowing so, we allow others to do it for us by allowing others to force their opinion on us and call it “the truth.” It may well be someone else’s truth, but it does not have to be your truth.

You don’t have to believe that you are the wreck that other people have told you that you are – your intuition will tell you that you are not wrong, even though other people might. Your intuition will tell you how to get away from a situation long before the situation turns into a situation that is out of control. Your intuition will tell you that what it is that you feel about anything at all, namely other people, is the truth of them according to your own truth.

If you are told that you cannot trust you, and your intuition tells you that what you are being told by this person telling you this is being said for their benefit and not yours, you should listen to you and you should forget what that other person is telling you. If you are told that what you are thinking about is wrong, and you are hearing this from one other person, and this one other person keeps on saying what they say, and you can see everything that happens around this person does not match what it is that they are telling you, trust what you see rather than only what you are told.

If you are in doubt, at all, about anything, at all, and you know that you can no longer ignore that tightness in your chest, and forever you ignored that tightness – it is either time to get to the ER, or, it is time for you to start paying attention to why it is that you have that apprehension.

The apprehensions are the things that tell you that you are right when someone else is not, and they are what tell you that you could be walking directly into the danger zone, and they are the things that make it possible for all of us to not be at the wrong place, at the wrong time, unless that wrong place and time is meant for us so that we can learn what we are meant to .

Our intuition is also a teacher in that, it teaches us, through the use of it, how to trust ourselves. This is a big problem in our society today – we do not trust ourselves. We do not believe ourselves. We are too willing to believe that someone else is right about who we are, failing to see to it that the best judge of our own character IS us. We know, through these things called a “gut reaction” when what we are doing or perhaps are attempting to do or even contemplating doing is right or wrong for us. It is when we think about what anyone else thinks about what we are doing and we act on what the ego in us wants, according to someone else’s ways, and this is when we rob ourselves of the thing that we call and the thing that we create called Truth.

We always know what is right or wrong, and we also, no matter what, always know what is right or is wrong for us. It is contained within that thing called a “gut reaction” that our truth is to be found, because within that reaction, not only is our truth there, but also is the truth that is the lie we have been told about trusting ourselves that someone else took away when we were very small children. Taking the soulful nature that is the truth of a child is easy. It is like taking candy from a baby.

We should be more inclined to endow these little humans with the truth and with the way that they will get to that truth, rather than only imparting onto them what is our truth, and a truth that may not really be the truth at all. Not even for the adults in the lives of children.

We tend to forget, at least a lot of us do, that is, what it was like to have to stifle the child who we were so that when we became adults, with children of our own, we would know how to stifle this in them. To those adults who would do this to their own kids, so that they will not have to deal with the truth that we might not want to accept about them, I have but one thing to say to you, and that is that when you let your kids be who Spirit intends, and NOT who YOU intend them to be, magical things begin to happen in that kid’s life.

I know this. I live this. I have kids. They know this. They live this.

I know what kids who trust themselves look like…

…they look like me.

Trusting one’s own intuition takes practice and patience and it starts early on in life for us all,  and most of all, it takes you to not take everyone else’s opinions as though it were the very gospel truth.




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Simplicity is Beautiful

We start out in life as simply as possible, with no dents and dings in our psyche. It would very nice if we could just stay simple and childlike forever.

Take a trip, if you will, down memory lane, back to when you were a child and things were so very simple. Think about all those Christmas mornings and all that paper and those empty boxes that served as your clubhouse or your fort. Think about how excited you were that the fat guy in the red suit was coming to your house, and how excited you were even leaving those cookies and milk for him. Now think about all those times in your life when you felt like nothing in the world could be more perfect than right that moment and in your sights and possession is something that not a whole lot of people think about anymore – simplicity.

We have equated simplicity with the markers for being a simpleton, and sometimes, if we thought about it long enough, we would see that the simpletons in life somehow have the system beat, and they have done so with only one sort of energy – that of simplicity. Simplicity is that place within where everything is created. It is how children, in all of their innocence, have the bravery that they do when they need to have it. It is that area of life where the only thing that matters to any one of us is the ease of the day and how long it will be before the next sunrise. This is simplicity.

A few examples of simplicity

Simplicity is that place within where everything is beautiful, because everything seems to be so brand new. It is an energy that is soothing as much as it is at the same time the catalyst for things not so simple. Simplicity is hearing the cooing of a baby, and it is to be found in the smile brought about by the gentle quickness that is like that of a hummingbird. Simplicity is being awestruck by the wingspan of an Eagle in flight, and simplicity is being dumbfounded by the beauty of a flower not quite completely finished blooming.

It is in the surety that is the sun rising and setting everyday, and it is the imaginary thought process that are cloud pictures, rainbows and the purring of kittens. It is in the warmth of the smile of a stranger as they pass us by, granting us salutations and bidding us well. It is in the embrace of the one who knows you so dearly and truly, and is in every breath that is that of a child sleeping in a chair as though he were an angel and the chair, a cloud. It is in everything that we see and know, and everything that we have yet to see and yet to know.

If these examples of simplicity are not enough to make us all wonder how it it is that everything in life seems so complicated given the beautiful nature of everything that is absolute on a daily basis, then there is not a whole lot that is going to make anyone at all realize that truly, our freedom from much of the hurt in our lives is always going to be just a tiny fraction of an inch out of our grasp.

Out of our grasp

We have the power to recall things. I do it often. If I do not bother with what was the past, I cannot begin to imagine what is the future. You read that correctly – everything in the past has very dear energy that is of the future. I say a whole lot about forgetting things that have happened in the past, but mostly it is because we cannot change what is there. I cannot go backward in time to repair the damage that I have been visited by and that hurt me so dearly. However, when I revisit the past, I see there that there are things from that time that have served me well and to this day remain to serve me well. One of those things is being able to pull from the past what was the most important to me. Be it a lesson, or something that someone said to me, or perhaps even a person – no matter what, if we can draw from the past that which is relevant to the future we can also be sure to it that when we are focused and what it is that is back there can serve us in the Now, we would be able to see our own patterns of behavior and of lessons learned.

Most folks don’t like going back in their minds to their own past. There is too much hurt there. Yet, if you can go back there in your mind, and you can relive what it was that you recall as being very good and something that you can get anything out of, then you also can apply those energies to the Now.

Thing is…as we grow older, we become hardened by the things from the past, hardened by the things that have happened to us and in our lives. We learn throughout the time that passes that we are often times met with these difficulties that we would rather not have to deal with, and lots of times we choose to ignore what it is that is hurting us, pissing us off, making us doubt who we are for real.  This is not something that we are born with, by the way – it is learned and becomes our habit, these things that make us be who we are not.

We are taught to live “on the outside” of ourselves, when really, life happens and begins, literally even, on the inside. Inside is where we think, and feel, and are. Inside is the only place where a lot of people who we do not let in are not. Inside is where the process is, stays and will never not be. Inside is where we need the most work. Yet, inside of who we are is what we neglect to take care of the most. We want to think that we can get away with the pretend smile, get away with the sadness that can never be hidden because the eyes give us away.  Throughout the course of our lives we are told that complex is better, is more interesting, is liked by more people. What we are not taught and what is inborn is that thing called Simplicity.

The Simple things in life are also the most beautiful

Think about how beautiful it is to just know that a new baby has been born, and how beautiful the giddy laughter of children is. Think about how lovely it is to see two old people sitting on a park bench, sharing secrets and giggles and memories. Think about how easily roses bloom and how those very roses don’t need any instructions about how they become so beautiful. Think about how awesome it is to see and to hear a flock of corvid as they cackle away, their raven blue-black plumage glinting sinfully beneath the light of the day. Think about everything that has ever made you smile, laugh, think wonderful thoughts, and you will know the full force and power of Simplicity.

When The Mother Goddess created all of Life, She did not have a laboratory in which to splice genes or to look at anyone’s DNA pattern. When human life came into being, it was not something that was so totally technologically difficult (obviously), and was not something that required any of us to have batteries put into our plastic backs. When life came into being, it was from the most minute things, things that not one of us will ever know about, because not one of us was here, in this consciousness, and none of us were aware of the complexities of the nature of Simplicity and all its grandeur.

Simple is beautiful, plainly put.

There is nothing more breath taking than seeing with one’s own eyes the beauty that is a new baby being born. There is nothing quite more awesome than to wake before the sun rises, and to see in the distance the great orange life-giving orb called the Sun as it ascends above the horizon, waking us all and giving us a reason to be glad to be alive and well and able to face the day one more time.

Simplicity is where greatness is born, for without it, there is nothing quite as maddening or intimidating than is a blank sheet of paper which is free of the marring nature that is ink. In the same way, as children, we are like that sheet of paper. One day, some clueless adults come along, tell us that we should stop daydreaming because daydreaming makes us waste our time and daydreaming is taking away those precious hours in which we could be doing something more profitable for someone else.

Yet, without daydreaming, there is nothing. Tangible things come from the imagination, and the imagination is directly energized by daydreaming. When lost in our daydreams life is beautiful. Life is comprised of daydreams. Daydreaming is as simple as anything could be. This is why children are so good at it. If we could just be, for one moment of everyday of the rest of our lives, daydreamers, and if we could just learn that our lives are up to us to build, and if we could just think the way that we did when we were children our lives would be markedly improved.

We have the power to build our lives. We have the power to make every tiny little thing that we want part of our lives. We do not know that we have always had this ability, that since the time we were children we were all endowed with the ability to imagine life in its most perfectly imperfect way. It was when someone told us what was their truth was also our truth is when we also were taught that while daydreaming and the simplicity of it is a nice thing to do when we are bored, that there were other, more important things to do because when we grew up there were going to be even more “more important” things for us to have to deal with and learn to hate doing.

It leaves little wonder, then, the reason that things seem so complex when really, life is very simple. We are the ones who turn it into something that it was never meant to be.

Simplicity is a gift given to us while we are still in Spirit, long before we are brought into this consciousness through time in the womb. If we could believe for a moment that rather than all of these technologically advanced sheep we believe ourselves to be, that we are, instead, each uniquely magnificent, powerful and simply marvelously beautiful, as is life, we could do anything at all.

It’s simple, really, life is….it is not that life is hard, but that we are hard headed. It is not that things are ugly, but that is how we see them and because that is how we have been taught to see them.

Choose to see the pictures made in the clouds as they roll by, and choose to believe that really, unicorns exist, that there is indeed a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.

Choose to accept that Simplicity really is quite beautiful, and the rest will just fall into place.

No…really…try it….magical things happen when you simply just believe



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…no, really…you DON’T have to fight it out

Thinking past our own selves and our own opinions and assumptions is not easy. We expect that others will be able to relate to us from our perspective, and not their own. This is where a whole lot of misunderstanding in communication between human beings is born – from our chosen cluelessness.

We wonder sometimes why it is that we fight with others, why it is that the people who we most love are the ones who we fight with over something as small as not being able to understand or relate to what they are saying to us, either for real or with their body language. Where people like I am concerned, it is not only the spoken word and neither only the body’s language that is telling me and anyone like me the truth of a person, but also is their energy, even from a distance.

Being someone who sometimes, herself, chooses to be clueless, and for no other reason than to save myself from having to intuit the pain, sometimes effortlessly, from others, I know what it is like to be on one end of the pain, as well as the other. And pain is not easy, comes in many different forms and from many different sources. It is unavoidable.  Each of us has felt pain and each of us has caused pain. The problem is not that we have had or have caused someone else to have pain, but that once it is that it has been initiated, it is almost a sickness that every single last one of us on the planet has caused pain, and then chosen to cause more pain by choosing to fight each and every single little “ego battle” that comes our way. In reality, we do not have to choose every single one of them It is not that we can choose none of them, because without things that suck, we do not learn what does not suck.

We can choose to not fight, but that would be boring, wouldn’t it?

Yep, it’s true – we get to choose all of our own battles, and the thing about humans who are only beginning the long and dusty trek to enlightenment is that lots of us know this is the truth, but lots of us also love the fight, love the drama that comes from the fight, and most of all, because they are only starting on the path, ensure that, through manipulation, hurting another’s feelings, through any means we can think of, we would rather cut someone else down to size, not realizing that the reason we would do such a thing is because we would rather be right, would rather win, would rather do anything at all than just be kind.

Again, we see here that the most of us have been taught, have been trained, and have been raised to see our differences, and our similarities are played down. We are more inclined, because we have each been trained to scrutinize the energies of others that is not the greatest energy (their darkness, that is) and have taken on the thought as truth that in each of our lives we have to be better than someone, and if we cannot be better than someone else, we will bully them, verbally abuse them, do everything we and our arrogance and our egos tell us to do, just so that we don’t have to believe that we are less than them on some level.

We would rather fight, be right, and to hell with anyone else, as long as we are right, or at least not totally wrong. This is a mechanism of the Ego. The Ego is there to protect us, but most of the time we allow it to run amok, stomping all over the souls of others, and then when we are finished gnawing on their raw nerves, and we are over the reason that the fight ensued to being with, we have the very nerve to expect these other people to not be affected by their antics, to not be hurt by the thing that they said or did, to not be human about what we had just gone through with them and on their behalf and without our spoken permission.

How we unwittingly allow others permission to be awful to us

When we get butt hurt because someone else said something unkind and they were completely clueless about it, and we end up in a fight with them over it, this is giving them permission to our ability to control who we are. When someone else gives their opinion and their judgment about who we are, and we get hurt by it, and we dwell in that hurt, they are in control of how we feel. No, it is not easy to not let the things that other people tell us not hurt us if it is meant to hurt us. It is, however, very worthwhile to stop giving into their energy of pain and wanting to not be alone in that pain.

Think about every time you and someone else got into a tiff and how you felt when you came away from it. Some of us, when the tiff is a well placed one, come away with a feeling like a piece of us somehow is no longer there and that the person who we fought with somehow took it from us. This is also true for the other person involved, even if they are the catalyst and the reason for our having been at odds with them over anything at all.  Fighting with others over opinions, over miscommunicated words, over things misunderstood are all things that, when we reach for clarity or perhaps deeper meaning for the energy provided by these events, is draining and takes away our energy.

Seriously…the way that we allow it is to give in, not decide if the battle is worth fighting and just jump on into the fracas and let it roar! We allow these others who do this through means of our believing that what they think of us is the truth of us.  What we believe is the truth of us is within us, but also within those who we mirror and who mirror us in return. When we get angry over frivolous things and things of a nature that are not in agreement with what our own belief about anything is is when the not-fun starts.

If you fight or argue over someone else’s opinions about anything at all, or about who they are in your thoughts, and without how they might feel about it, while you might not be essentially wrong for your opinions, you are wrong for trying to impose it on someone else’s free will

Most of the time, when we are in the middle of trying to get our ego’s point across, the last thing on our minds at that time is that when we try to manipulate other people toward what is our end result, and we try hard to make them want to be a part of what we see as our own version of right versus wrong, and really, anything else, we are tampering with something that we should be more inclined to have a giant amount of respect for, simply and only because we, ourselves, would expect the same.

You have read, heard, thought, at least a million times that you would not want someone else trying hard to make you do for them without them doing for you, the things that you need, much like they need, for the furtherance of their goals and the life that they are manifesting. Maybe they are somehow a part of your life because of marriage, or maybe because of your career. Either way it doesn’t matter as much as does the idea that there is a lot of hubris, collectively, still, and that this is where a whole lot of us get things so jacked up that a lot of times it seems as though we can do nothing to repair the damages.

It is the exaggerated pride, the hubris within each and every one of us that, at least for those of us who are not willing to call themselves on it, causes us to think that we are meant to take their crap and deal with it as though it is the only crap and the only way to deal with things.  It took me a very long time to not defend what is the opinion of other people that is about me versus what is my belief about me, a lot of time to learn to be empathetic and see, or try to see, where it was that anyone else is coming from.  It takes anyone at all a whole lot of time to not defend ourselves against what other people are assuming is the truth of us.  There is not one person who I know who does not like being shown when they have done something good or right.

Conversely, I have yet to meet a human being who is willing to NOT fight with someone else, willing to not hurt another person, or willing simply and only to listen without judging them after that someone else has been found to have said something offhand. It is in that judgment of someone else where we are in error.

It is when we are meant to learn to differentiate things, that what we are taught to do is to judge people and to form a belief that is not truly our own. I recall being a little girl and hearing it said that the reason I was not in many activities other than hula was because of the person who dictated what I was meant to like but only and according to her. If that person were taught how to do more than what the adults in her life taught her (“do what I tell you to do and not what you think you want to do.”), which was to conform no matter what – it was literally that she had to do as she was told, even if she wasn’t any good at it, or else she would end up being disciplined for it.

In this manner we are taught, as children, to trust by learning what the adults in our lives tell us we should rather than what it is that our soul tells us and what our own senses tell us is the truth. If I had been allowed to follow my soul, it would not have been that I had learned how much I loved to dance until I was in middle school and then in high school when I joined the dance program. We are told what we like and what we want to do, or, rather, a majority of us were raised this way.  Seriously, the words “I don’t want to have her do anything that I myself would not want to do.” This is why there is so much fighting between people – because we are not willing to let them be who they are and we start this nonverbal teaching lessons of how to judge people nonsense from a time when humans are in the womb. It is seen in the vicariousness of the football dad, the arrogance of the cheer mom, and in the manipulative thoughts turned into words from a stage mom.

These are all examples of people in our lives when we are very young who have any kind of say so and who take control of someone else’s destiny through imposing on them their will and their likes and what they are comfortable with. It doesn’t have to be a parent. It can be anyone who is responsible in some manner for teaching us to think on our own. It is like being that kid in math who is not understanding how to figure out what is in front of them, NOT because they are stupid, but because they need to be shown another way to figure things out. My second grade teacher did this to me – she called me stupid because I couldn’t figure out how she came up with the same answer that I did. “How could it be wrong?” I recall asking her.

“It doesn’t matter! You are too stupid to do it the right way!”  These are words that no one forgets, not because they are the truth, but because they were the truth of my second grade teacher at the time who just did not realize that I could not do the math HER way. When I showed her how I came up with what I came up with, she was still so angry with me that she failed me, because “I am the teacher and I can do that if I want to.”

This same line of thinking applies when we are talking about defending what I call “Self Beliefs.”

Self- Beliefs

We can think of them as being the ultimate selfie, because it is the picture that we have in our minds of ourselves. When we are willing to fight with someone else, not only are we one another’s mirror, but we are also one another’s catalyst for checking on ourselves so that we are not prone to walking the crust of the earth like we are somehow cool when really, we are not that cool at all ! haha

Like my 2nd grade teacher did me no favors when she called me stupid, we are not doing anyone else any favors when we decide that since they are not the way that we want them to be, and that since we cannot manipulate them, that they are somehow wrong and that they are the biggest sinners in the world of all things “self.”

Our Self Beliefs are the picture that we have of ourselves that is in our thoughts and in our Spirit and that we are in charge of. These Self Beliefs are those things that, as adults, we have to try hard to overcome so that we can grow. If a person has had it so that the whole time that they have graced the face of the planet, other people have been shaping who they are and we are believing what they are saying about us and to us and we do not think for and to ourselves that we are who matters when it comes to what we think about us, then that person will, like I still have a few issues with, have limiting beliefs about themselves.

Limiting beliefs are those things that tell us that we, on our own, are not strong enough to make it without the “love” of the spouse who no longer wants to be around to take the verbal and emotional abuse. Limiting beliefs are those beliefs that others have helped us form that tell us that we deserve to be lonely, by their leaving us by ourselves when we might need them the most. Limiting beliefs are those things that, every time we want to do something or maybe try something new, we fear the failure that we have not even experienced but somehow are positive that we are such sucky people that we cannot ever be anything BUT sucky.

Once it is that we buy into and start living these beliefs is when we have to really stop, even in the middle of tears, and ask ourselves why it is that we believe all the bad things and none of the good that we KNOW is the truth. Such as the idea that women have to keep up with the televised model of beauty, that men are not completely straight if they should choose to do things that do not include burping or farting publicly, or behaving like a chauvinist pig. If we have been told that this is the truth, and then shown so, it is of little wonder as to why it is that we have millions of young girls in high school worried about what they look like and if their butt is Kardashian big enough. It is why we have closeted young high school football stars coming out of the closet at school and hoping upon hope that the news doesn’t get to his parents for fear that his father will beat the gay (and the happy) out of him because he is not the person who his dad tried making him be and who he is not.

At some point in time in each of our lives, we decide that judging people for what and for who they are not is somehow okay. At some time in our lives we realize that what we see in others that bothers us also lives within us and that what we saw there bothered us so much that we had to control the situation by pointing out in someone else what we were NOT so that we could maintain our control over what they thought about us for real.

At some point, we all must decide to Love ourselves, to stop being so hard on ourselves for what someone else’s truth turned us into and be grateful that long before we leave this consciousness we still have the chance to be who we are and to share that with everyone else.

At some point, winning is no longer as big of a deal as is knowing that what might be someone else’s truth does not have to be and should NOT be what is ours.



Please visit RandyJayBraun.com today !

No one can go back

You cannot go backward. We cannot return to the time when we thought things were perfect. We pine for that energy, not for that time period.

I cannot be the only one noticing, what, with all of this “everything old is new again” stuff, is happening at the moment. What is happening at the  moment is that there are people coming  back into our lives from a totally other time in our lives and a lot of these people want what we each had with them so many years ago.

I noticed it about …oh…September, when it seemed like things were just a giant weighted mess. What really was happening was that we were being distracted. At that same time we were also being taught – and we were being taught about how really very tough our collective lives had become, even as it seemed and might yet seem that we have just grown used to things being…very and uncomfortably unkind.

Universally felt unkindness

I am not the only one who was a great big snotty whiny mess…let’s say, from, oh, I don’t know…August, until last week. I was not and still am not the only one who felt this weighted energy. I am here to tell you all that it was a multifaceted big, giant ball of ugh that was meant and was with purpose – in fact, meant with a few purposes, with one of them serving as the distraction that we each needed for what happened next.

What happened next was that we all found out a little bit more about what it is that we do want, versus what it is that we know we absolutely can do without. Where I am concerned, it was about my growing spiritual healing practice, my daily writings (except Sunday because even the Goddess and her old man take Sundays off…what? You think Superbowl was set to be Sundays all because one human thought it up? Come on !! Haha) and now, it is about continuing to grow both.

And I promise you that I was an awful mess. It was a very difficult year, 2013 was, and lots of us were glad to see some things and some people go away, and it was also meant to thicken our skin and toughen us up for what has already begun. Some of us are ready for it, and lot of others of us are simply just not.

Everything old is new again, even old friendships and old loves

This is not to say that your first love is going to want to be all wine and roses with you, because lots of time has passed. This is not to say that your pals from another time in your life are still going to be what you recall them being, because, again, a lot of time has passed. In the many years which have passed since the last time we saw any of these people, every single last one of us has managed to go off in our own direction and live, and hopefully have learned from what it was that we went through.  Now here we are, at least the ones who are meant to learn or perhaps relearn what it was that we did not, through these people, and wouldn’t you know it? Some of us want to actually live in the past believing, perhaps, that living in that time, or a time like it recreated now, will make all of our pain and our loneliness go away.

It won’t.


I have GOT TO reiterate …that these people are back in our lives in some manner is one thing, but know NOW that they are not there for the same reason that they might have been all that time ago. Whatever it is that they came back for, it is not that. It is anything but that. We have to consider a whole lot of things, with the biggest one being that lots of time has passed and in that time which has passed we have all become very different people. Time is funny like that – it does not stop, and we do not stop growing, even if we don’t feel like we are.

A whole hell of a lot of cleaning and clearing to do

If you can, for a moment, think of these people as being the clean up crew for certain remnants of what was your life. All these years you were wondering what they were doing, some of us more than others, and suddenly here they are. They might not be in your close proximity, but they are somehow back in your life and there is a reason they are there. For some of us it is to finish learning a lesson that they were meant to bring to us but for one reason or many reasons, they had to leave for a little while. For others of us, it is a reuniting with a like soul which never really left our side, even though they might have ended up on the other side of the world. No matter why they are back, they are here and they will remain so until it is that we have or they have learned what they have had to but could not because you were not there.

This is what I mean by our cleaning up and clearing out – it includes people, lessons, and things that we either need but do not have, or have but do not need. The only people on the planet who can help us with this are these other people. Some of the lessons are going to suck more than they won’t, while others we will not want ever to end (even though they will and that, in and of itself, is the lesson – to let go and come back to reality about them and you and everything in between). Think of this part of this time as being the clearance sale of all clearance sales, and everything on the rack has to be gone and if it is not gone, then those items will either be placed into storage for another time, or, they will be given away (that letting go thing…”given away”) to a charity.

Humans are bad at learning when we do not want to, and when the lessons suck we want to hide and wait for another day when we are more prepared.

That is not how this works.

Lots of folks don’t understand that sometimes we ARE prepared, right as we are, to go through what we need to in order to make things right again, not only for ourselves but for everyone else involved as well.  Unfortunately, and there are not a whole lot of people who will deny me this much – we got here on our own, by our own hands, and with the help of the beliefs about ourselves that were handed to us by our parents and whoever else were the determining and governing variables in our lives as children. Our personal Grown-Ups, all of them, at least for the most part, have conditioned all of us to believe that we have to be better than other people, at everything, and that most of all, if we do not win, that it is okay, but that if we do not win, no matter what it is, other people will not love us as much as they say they love us at this moment. This, for a lot of people who can now be considered “middle age” (Yes, I am one such person), is akin to the constant recording played over and over in our heads, that no matter how good we are, we can be better at it all, that we can win, that we can be victorious, and screw everyone else, because unless you win, you are a loser. (Go ahead and lie to me and yourself and tell me I am wrong…you can’t.)

This is the reality, and, as well, the place from where all of us have groomed ourselves into what and who we are now, no matter what that may be and no matter, really, what we think of it. It is also a very real, real-time example of our collective dependence on what other peoples’ opinion of us is.

Take for instance, yesterday, on my Facebook wall, I had a bit of a misunderstanding between me and a young woman who I have met more than once, about whom I have known since she was but a young girl, and also is someone who I have never really truly known. While I will not go on about what other peoples’ accounts of this person is, the biggest thing that came through to me was that this is a young woman who has a lot of ambition, but at what cost?

I will admit to admiring the passion within her, because it is like my own is, but the difference between this young woman and myself is lots more than only being years. We do not have the same background, even as one incident in each of our very storied personal lives are, and it is that one incident, on my end, that prompts me to think about how it is that we can think back to the times when things were not like they are now, and we can pine for that exact same energy (so that maybe we might be able to live in it, albeit temporarily). The bottom line is that we can never go back to the times when, it seemed, things were easier. Things seemed easier, but in reality, they were only appropriate to who you were at that time, and at that time, much like now, there were also times prior to it that you may have wanted to return to. It is not the time that you want to relive. It is the energy of that time in our lives.

Energy does not die, but it changes

Think about this for a minute, and let it sink in, and realize right this moment that if you can think back to that time, and relive, through your memory, a time in your life when it may have seemed like things were a lot easier than they are now, then know, too, that this is the personal power that all of us – each and every one of us – has. This is the gift that can also and sometimes be a curse, because while we are living in a past moment energetically, we are still in this time that is Now. There are lots of people who just do not seem to understand that yes – you can go back in time but only in the energetic sense.

Our minds and memories are powerful tools that can and should be utilized to bring about a higher energy for the collective whole of us. They are two things that, when they are worked with in tandem with the reality that is outside of the each of us, can help us do magnificent things in our lives for ourselves and for others.

However, when it is that we stay stuck there, and we believe ourselves to also be stuck here in the Now is when people and their human type ways begin to start thinking thoughts about how great it would be if we could just go right back to that time in our lives. The worst part is that a whole lot of us just do not realize or want to accept that what we see with our mind’s eyes and feel both bodily and emotionally is real, but the things and people that originally brought those feelings and that energy are different.

We cannot go back there, but we can and should relive that energy thought. I say this because if a person is right in the mind, they can handle being nostalgic, can handle accepting that we physically live in the reality called “Right Now,” and this applies to the most of us. There are, however, those of us who, for whatever reason we may have, want to live in that past energy all the time, with all the same people, and all the same things, and that will not happen. We can wish and pine for it, ignoring the idea that a long, long time has passed us in between, that people we love and want to be with also have all those many years away from us and that they have grown, and changed.

That we think about those times in our lives is one thing. We all do it. I do it. You do it. That guy over there with his finger up his nose does it – all of us does it. That there are people who want to stay back in time in a friendlier place in their minds and in their past is when it gets very ugly. When we want to live in that past that we see and we love, and we want to be in that time rather than fight our own demons through the Now, we are not opting for growth, but for comfort born of either a desire to feel that way (which is good and doable) or, the desire to go back in time and relive that time (not possible, at least not at this time in history).  Back there we are not the nut-job of a wife who did her share of wrongness to her old man, and back there we are the stud-muffin we were back in high school, and back there are no kids who need stuff, mortgages that are ours, drama that is ours but share….back there is gorgeous, of course, because back there is not the pain or the ugliness of right this minute.

No one can go back, so deal with right this moment

Okay, so there are people who can and do regress others to another time in their own awareness, but the greater part of us do not bother to deal with the realms of weirdness that I and a few others like me do. For the rest of the human race – we cannot go backwards, so dealing with right this moment is likely the best option for any one of us.

Going back to that thing that I and the young woman I wrote about earlier in this writing, while it is that I totally get where she is coming from, what I do not get is the idea that once we have been sinned against, suddenly, we are in that very “sinned against” energy for the rest of our lives. I am sorry, but I cannot stay living as someone else’s victim. It isn’t right and tends to make us believe that that is all we will ever be. Am I saying this of her? Of course not.  What I am saying is that at this time, she is not where I am, as far as years between the incidents goes. So, naturally, what she went through is still going to piss her off to the point where she may not be able to see much more than her own silent hurt and anguish which historically has always been seen as her anger, and her pain, and her baggage.

Yet, I know that one day she will recall, maybe even with a fondness, the back and forth between us yesterday, and may, one day, hear my voice or see my words in her memory, and perhaps one day, I will not be the venomous bitch I am sure she thinks I am now. And this is okay by me. I have been known as many, many other things…and in comparison to those other things, a venomous bitch is a step up!

No matter how great things were back in the day, you, me, we can never go back there. And why would anyone want to unless they believe that there really is nothing more than what is right this moment for them, ever? If you believe that all you really have IS this moment, then you are farther ahead of the game than even you are aware of.

Now please…go and wash that Aquanet out of your way too big Bon Jovi hair, and ALL of you need…NEED to take off ALL THAT MAKE UP!! Back then was nice, but right now is way, way better, in my opinion.  It is so because I would never want to be that clueless child who lived in a woman’s body . Not only that, I could never go through all what I have been through all over again, for anyone, ever.

Stop wishing for what was, be grateful for what is, and know now that better days are just ahead…let go of what was and be excited for what is to come~!




Please visit RandyJayBraun.com today !

No one is an island (and no one is alone)

While it might seem like you are all alone at this present time, make no mistake that you are the furthest thing from being alone. No man is an island, and really, no one is in this lifetime all alone. 

“I stand alone today…don’t ask me why I feel I just know I feel this way…I stand alone today” (Jackyl’s “I stand alone”)

I have been contacted by more people than not in the last two weeks about this feeling that seems to be a collective one. At the moment, people are feeling lonely, feeling misunderstood, feeling like someone is always trying to best them, like someone always has something to say, not only about what we are doing, but how and why we are doing what we are doing. The emails include things about why spouses seem to be turning against one another, about why people think they own other people when in reality it is that sense of ownership owning them. There are people who share the air with us who feel like they are somehow floundering in a sea of uncertainty, and right now, while we are all in this wonderfully fluffy feeling of brand newness with the new year just having begun, there are a lot of people wondering why it is that this year they are just not excited, about anything, and the one thing that most folks are feeling right at this time is very, very alone.

And that feeling of “alone” is not the typical sort, the sort that is fleeting and is about just wanting to have a little company. No, this alone feeling is a global one, and it is not really a feeling of being alone as much as it is a feeling of being alone while in a crowd and knowing that you are not alone and is mixed with a feeling of a longing to go home. Lots of us have no idea why it is that we can be in a crowd and feel like this. We don’t know why we feel like we are all by ourselves. It isn’t scaring us, although it is something that is bothering us dearly and it is because while we are in need of learning, on our own, who we each are in the world, humans are still social animals, and when we feel like this, it hurts, it sucks, and sometimes it is such a heavy weight that it can even make us cry.

I promise you that you are not all alone in that energy, in that feeling like there is something out there, wherever “out there” is for us each, and that somehow we are meant to get there, out there, but that with every step we take toward wherever out there is, it feels like our intended destiny, at least the way that we see it, the way that we see ourselves getting to it, is out of our reach.

Spirit is a comedian sometimes

You have heard, at least once in your lifetime, that “God has a sick sense of humor,” and you are right, in that, when we pine for things, want for things, we are meant to do those things, but that when we try to force those things into our lives, after we have reached out to The Mother Goddess for help, and we try to speed things up, we find ourselves almost in a cycle of “over and over again” and it is with good cause. When we try to force it, we are telling Spirit that She has no idea what She is doing. When we try to make it seem in our own heads that we have the best and only way to get to where we are headed is also when we have chosen to believe that really, ours is the only way to get to that place where we will feel whole and like we are “home.”

Well, folks, I am here to tell you that you need to chill, seriously. The reason you need to chill is because buried inside of the time and the waiting and the impatience is something there for the each of us that no human being could possibly believe is real. Our problem is that all of our lives we have been taught to be cautious, and being cautious is fine, but being told this over and over again made us believe that there was something, at all times, to not trust in, and the one thing that we SHOULD trust in IS Spirit. And even in that instance, while we sat sweetly and tenderly and quietly in those pews, for the bulk of our childhoods, we were told that we have to pray in a certain way, because if we didn’t, that God would not take us seriously, and if God, of all Beings, is not going to take us seriously, why, then, should we trust in this invisible, jealous, dangerous, murderous God if all he is going to do is make us beg for his mercy?

I said it- deal with it

I said it, that the God who a lot of us grew up with was a God that I recall as being vicious. We are taught to not trust things vicious, but when it came to what we believed in, we were also taught to believe – or else! Now, what the hell is anyone with a thought in their head, even when they are tiny little kids, going to believe when on the one hand, we are being told NOT to trust strangers, because strangers will hurt us, and strangers will put us “through hell,” and that strangers are not to be trusted?

This is where our sense and our level of trust comes from – NOT from some big scary God who will lightning bolt our asses for breathing wrong, but from what we are told to believe. When we are told that we are not good enough, essentially, for even God to trust us to make the right choices, and then what we see in our lives and feel in our souls is not that great, automatically we are taken back to those times when we were little kids, feet dangling from the pews, all eyes toward the guy with the smirk and the tie and eyes on a pair of tatas in the front row of a big, gnarly scary building that people were so adamant about making us – forcing us, if you will – believe that this imposing guy named God is somehow going to make things all better, so long as we do not do a thing to piss him off.

If you have to make people scared of something, and you have to threaten their sense of well being, and you do this from a very young age, all while telling these same people that God will not abandon them, and then bad things happen, and these same people pray to a God who they believe has judged them very harshly all their lives, what on earth does anyone with an original thought have any other chance of believing that we each are nothing more than very, very alone in this lifetime?

It really doesn’t matter what anyone calls their Higher Source. My thinking is that as long as people believe in something outside of themselves that half of the inner battle is won. Yet, how is anyone supposed to feel like the higher Being they have prayed to all of their lives is going to be there for them without conditions when all we have been told is that God is jealous, and God can be very dangerous, and that if we do not do every single little thing written in that imposing black book that someone’s church lady mom told us that, if we didn’t do them all, that God would surely punish us for being disobedient? And this is when we are children – little tiny ones at that, and we are at that age when everything we are told by the adults in our lives is the very gospel truth…how is it that we are supposed to be even expected to trust anything or anyone outside of ourselves when we have been bullied into believing that the moment we step out of someone else’s way of being, we are already booked on a fast track vacation at Club Hades?

We are told forever to not trust anything other than the God who wants us dead for breathing wrong…and people wonder why those who were raised up in the church sometimes turn away from the church and toward a more welcoming belief, a more welcoming deity. We are told that our Father will care, as long as we do things his way, and that we are not to trust the Mother. Really?

Yes…really…and we are supposed to trust, too, that with the God of fear, that we will not ever be alone, but that we have a lot of stuff to do before that same God who scares the shit out of us will do anything at all for us. We are supposed to trust our mothers, but are told that the only one in the human family whose words matter are our human fathers. We are told that who we are is not good enough for this horrible male god to love us as we are, and we are told, NOT to trust anything at all that is female. Imagine being a little girl, and that you are already strange, already empowered with visions and knowing things before you are meant to, and that every time you tell people something will happen, it happens, and suddenly, people are not wanting to be around you because they are afraid they will end up being sinned on behalf of by you? Then, when you know that there is and has always been something out there and something bigger than you are, but that you refuse to see it as anything but purely gorgeous, people begin to leave your life, all over the name by which you refer to Spirit as.

Here is where we begin to feel all alone. Belief has made us become these people who we are. EVERYTHING that we do stems from the belief in us. In my case, I always have known that there is a higher power, that we are not truly alone, even when we are by ourselves. Yet I never believed that the god I was brought up to believe in, to be dearly scared of, was the very one which would also take care of me. The reason that things happen this way is because of our fear of things that we cannot see, that we cannot absolutely confirm will not happen to us. We choose to follow what is outside, hoping that all the people we see there will finally accept us as we are. When we meet up with these people and we find out that there are some who are more willing to see who we are not rather than who we are is when the ego kicks in.

We are told by strangers that if we do not believe as they do, that we are not okay to be with them, and the excuse is that we will not understand one another and that it would be weird.  This is bullshit. This is called exclusivity. This is part of why we feel like we have no traveling companions on this Path that we share with others at the same time that we are on it by ourselves. We are made in the image of Spirit, perfect and whole, and yes, different from one another, but we want the same things. We want to belong, and we want to know that when we hurt that someone will ultimately and at least ask us what is hurting us.

We feel alone because we are taught to be alone, are taught to not trust, and are taught to think that everyone else is out to get us, that we must be better than everyone else rather than one with them. We feel alone and unworthy because of what we were told to believe is the God of all when in reality not everyone calls Spirit God, and when it is that our beliefs are or were challenged, there came the day that what someone else said to us just simply made more sense to us than what we had been raised to believe as the truth. It might well have been the truth, but it was not our truth, and this is where the whole of us have gone horribly wrong. In our quest, or actually, in the quest of generations past, to find others like us, we somehow took it upon ourselves to create a reason to make other people who were not and are not like we are feel by themselves.

This is the truth that is the travesty – that we have been told for many years that if we do not seek out others like us, who believe in the same God that we have been forced to believe, that no one will love us, that unless we find other people who believe what we do, that we will be doomed to be alone. At this time in history we are collectively seeking others like us. The Bible thumping maniacs (note that I did NOT write actual real and good believers of Christianity or really, any of the mainstream belief systems…don’t go off unless you reread that and realize that really, I ain’t judgin’ your God…I am judging the way that a LOT OF PEOPLE raised their kids by forcing us to believe what we just cannot believe anymore…deal with it and stop being such a pansy ass…yeesh) of the world, the type who insist that we HAVE TO believe their way…these are the people who have, for MANY generations, made us and continue to make some people feel very alone.

You are not alone

Just because some crazy person told you, through quoting passages from their big fat black book, that you are going to hell, that the reason that you are alone is because you have not joined their fellowship, it does not make it the truth – it only makes it their truth. You are not alone, by any means. You just have not thought about what you really believe.

Once it is that we each figure out what rather than WHO we believe in, things begin to make a lot  more sense to us. We find out that we were never really alone, but that the only thing we were not doing was following what was right for us. Just because you were raised up in the church, it does not mean that you are going to believe in the God of your parents for the rest of your life. Just because you were told that you will have no friends in life and that if you stray from what your family told you and just because there are people who you share blood and a grandma with who vilify you and call you evil because you are not like them does not make it true that you are bad, evil, not acceptable to society.

Once it is that you realize that there are others who are just like you on this big giant planet, and once it is that you figure out that no matter what or who you believe in – it does not make you a bad person, but that it makes you true to you, you will know that all along, the only thing that your upbringing “in the church” was meant to do was show you that you are willing to be open minded, that you are able to believe in something outside of yourself, and that the whole time you were told all these bad things about a god that was meant to help keep you in line and all these things about how you will be …WILL BE burned at the stake for believing in any other god, it does not make it the truth of you.

Yup…basically, the reason that a whole lot of people have this yearning to go home, have this intrinsic feeling of aloneness, is because of the way that they are, that we are, choosing to believe, in someone else’s God.

Not for one moment are we alone. We just have to come out of the safety of the shell of what we might have believed at one time, and come to that place in life where it won’t matter that you be who you are, to anyone, but you, and that no matter what, your earth-bound mother will still love you, even if her God demands that you obey – OR ELSE, and your Mother Goddess tells you that today is the day that you should choose to be magnificent.

I Promise you, and I know this for real, that the people who love you for real will be the same people who, even if they believe differently than you do, will not NOT love you, just because you “lotus” instead of “kneel.”

No…really….I Promise…your people are out there waiting for you. You just have to know this and believe it, no matter what your parents’ God told you when you were a kid.





What You Wish For (Ain’t always what you want)

It is wise to evaluate the reason behind why it is that we want what we want

I could not think of another blog to write today that would be appropriate to the time of year that it is. While the weather outside here in sunny and wonderful Southern California is anything but frightful, there are other things that are as frightful as anything could possibly be, and one of those things is the impending nature of anything that we wish for, want for, desire.

Let’s think about those three words for a moment, shall we? Let’s think about how each of those words makes us feel and you will be able, too, to see, sort of, how we end up disappointed by the outcome. Mind you, the outcome is not something that is not already in manifest at the time that we have the thought energy about a thing that we want in our lives. The moment that we think about what it is that we want is when the magic, or the havoc, starts.

When we are wishful for something, we are neutral, really, in our energetic response. Wishing, as we know, from the time that we are children even, is the catalyst for manifesting what we want to see, have or experience. I like to tell a short little story about a little boy who wished for a particular toy and got it, but it took belief on his part. It took belief, through wishing, that he was worthy of that toy, and belief that he would have the toy, and belief that nothing will stop him, not even his mom telling him “no.” And ultimately, he ends up with that toy. This is the clay, the wishing part, so to speak, from where the toy is manifested.

To want something lends an energy of desperation to your wishing. Wanting something creates the energy that is filled with being needy, with doubt, and with the idea that is disbelief that we will ever have that one thing. It can work another way, too, when we so dearly DO NOT want something, and we end up with more of what we do not want. The way that this happens, with the energy that is wanting anything at all, is that already in place are the energies that we are not good enough, or smart enough, or anything enough, to have what we want. We pine for it, feel like we cannot live without it, and while we might get what we want, by the time that we end up with it, that which we so dearly wanted seems not to have all the magic that we thought it would. This happens because our focus is not on the acquisition of that which we desire, but instead is where it should not be – our avoiding what we think we have to avoid (or put more energy toward avoidance of the outcome we do not want) and the thought that if we think about NOT having all the things that we do not want, instead of putting focus and energy on what we DO want is why we end up with what we would rather not have. It is because your focus is on everything but the actual thing that you really are desirous of. 

When we are desirous of a thing or situation is when the real fun begins, and I say this because of the difference in energy between want and desire. Even looking at those two words, one can feel a very distinct difference in the bodily energy that happens for us. Seriously…think about those two words, want and desire. When you say that you want something, there is automatically the energy of trying to get what you want, no matter what, and at that point, we are competing with something within us that tells us all the time that somehow we are not worthy of the things that we want. Yet, when we are desirous of something we can feel the energy being much lighter, as if there is something happening that we cannot explain but we know is most assuredly real and feels sort of like hopefulness. The energy of desire is also neutral, like that of wishing for something. It is one that allows us to create the thoughts that make us believe that it is possible that we can have what it is that we want. Between the two energies, desiring something versus wishing for it is the stronger, more positive vibration between the two.

Be careful what you wish for, because it won’t be the same thing as what you desire, and neither will the outcome be

Here is where it gets tricky. Even though, out of our mouths, we say that we wish for things, if we think about the words that follow “I wish…”, you would find that those words are FILLED with negative emotional energy, because every single one of us wishes that things could be different. Yet, while wishing for things is better than wanting things, it is not as positive a vibration as is being desirous. Being careful with our thoughts is important. There is a reason why it is that there are a lot of unhappy marriages, and it is because those within it are either wishing they were not in it, or wishing their marriage was better. If these couples would learn to understand the power behind words (and that is only to begin with) they would also know why it is that they have issues that make them wishful for things that they really do not want. They wish for the madness to end, but in reality, they need to be desirous of peace and the unconditional nature that should be love between people.

There is a reason why so many very materially successful people are not happy, and it is because they employ the “I wish” thing to everything in their lives that is non-material and those “wishes” sound like “I wish I had a hot girlfriend/boyfriend,” and “I wish I had a European sports car.”  And hell yes, they end up with EXACTLY these things but these things, no matter what, do not make them happy because they WISHED for nonspecific things and GOT nonspecific things. Make sense?

There is also a reason why there are people who seem to have so very little things materially, but also seem to be insanely happy with their lives because everything in their lives they desired and ended up with having. It took little more than them being very clear about what it was or is that they need at a constant, were amazingly thoughtful in their creation of the thought of those things, and never did they tell themselves, in any manner, that they were somehow not good enough for what they desired.

They kept at what it was that they wanted, not thinking or dwelling on it for too long so as to take away the power of the pureness of their own intentions, and one day their list of desired things and situations became real. It is because once it is that we set ourselves and our minds on a clear path and can see where it is, with our mind’s eyes, that we might need improvement, that we might need to have more belief in our own desires, or perhaps it was that we only thought it one time and released it to the Goddess…no matter what, those who have desired their lives into being what they are now are who have this science well learned. 

The idea that we can have it all depends on what “it all” is to anyone

One more thing before I close this post out and send it out into the world and that is very important is that different people will have a different version of what it means to “have it all.” Some people might find what it is that is their own “all” in charitable outreach, and others find their “all” in creating beautiful treats for their loved ones while also creating fabulous healthy food for elderly shut-ins, and yet, another, to be able to educate the world about how violence in our homes leads to the violence in our communities. These people did not wish – they desired to see to it that who they are affects the world in a positive way, and who they are shines through the way that they see to their manifested desire that was not only meant for themselves, but also for the world at large. 

Having it all does not mean that we literally have it all, and this is coming from a former spoiled princess of a Kahu who should have known better than to try to make it known that I had it all. We can wish to have all the material goodies that we think we want and wish for, but unless our desire of that one thing is real and positive and able to do things not only for ourselves but also for the world we live in, that which we end up with will require that we acquire more and more of what we think we need but that we don’t need.

Having it all means that we are secure in who we are, and that what we have already is only a stepping stone to the greater things that we desire, from the soul, out.

So now you know why it is that sometimes, we really need to be careful of what we wish for…we might get it, and it might not be what we need or want and desire…




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