Tag Archives: awareness

That which we are not aware of

Betty Sun_Jet Li_Fearless_Mana_O_Blog

In terms of being aware, it is not what we are absolutely aware of that we need to hone, but that which we are unaware of and that we are creating that we need to learn…

Awareness: having knowledge of something and especially of something not generally known or apparent (from Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary,1973, pg 78)

Until we are aware of something, we are unaware.

Yeah, I know…duh… 

The reality is, though, unfortunately, that we humans can be severely unaware of what is happening with our own selves, and lots of times it is not a bad thing, even though those lots of things might actually be very, very tough to deal with, let alone live through. At this moment in our shared lives we are finding that there is a LOT of stuff that we are going through, that perhaps a lot of us have denied through the mechanism of being awful in terms of how it is that we feel about ourselves and our abilities.

And let me tell you what – every one of us is going through something right now. I am sure that if you bothered to look at the less than rosy things in your life (you know…the things that take you away from having to deal with the things that you would rather not? Yeah…I’m onto ya…keep reading), you might not be able to see it right away, but in that garbage is what it is, at the bottom of it all, you are learning. And you are not learning to do something OTHER than become aware.

Awareness is that thing that we want, but is something that reveals the truth, not only about other people, but mostly about ourselves. While it is that we do not want to look at the ugliness that exists within the confines of our lives, what we are not thinking about is what is not apparent but is absolutely there for us to find. We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on who we are for real, that we do not buy into what others say about us that is good – we prefer to keep ourselves humble, so to speak, and keep ourselves at a level that is not the level that we each know we need to accept ourselves as being at.

This is not easy to do when we are looking at our tangible realities and finding there the things that scare the hell out of us the most. This is what this things called awareness brings us – the ability to see, perhaps even with our physical eyes, that which is unapparent to us on the physical level.

That which is apparent to us on the physical level is not all that there is to ‘see’

If I tell someone who I am coaching that there are things that they are not aware of, and things that they, themselves, cannot see, it is actually a very good thing that some of them cannot see what it is that anyone else can see and appreciate.

Sometimes, duh is better

Sometimes, it is better that we cannot see these things about us, because in doing so, we will either become so comfortable in the idea that we are changing things for ourselves that we become complacent in our efforts and end up not evolving, or, we will find ourselves so very…filled with un-belief…about the great things that we are being told, that we will over-analyze what we have been told is the truth about us as presented to us by someone else. We will make it so that within that goodness, we will find something that will invariably go ‘wrong.’ We are so much more readily available to believe the ugliness that is said about who we are, far and long before we will even think to accept what is not apparent to us and is actually both true and good. We will essentially mind-fuck it into oblivion, and we will end up continuing to believe the awful things that others have said about us and to us.

The thing about that sort of things is that, when others tell us what they feel is ‘wrong’ with us, what they are actually doing is reflecting how they feel about themselves and showing us, through the mirror who they are, what is really not completely okay about themselves. I am reminded of a mother who cannot find one good thing to say about her adult kid. When finally she does, somehow, because it is her habit and it is her way of keeping her kid a kid, she jacks things up by “balancing” the good things that she’d said by reminding her kid that somehow, they are not the best person on the planet, and why don’t you listen to mommy more?

Well, why would anyone want to listen to someone who never encourages another person to be all that they can be and do so without all of the (ahem) ‘constructive criticism’? (I am sorry, but, that is not a real thing, by the way – how can criticism ever be constructive? It is way, way destructive…keep reading…) It is not that they have a bad thing to say to us or about us, at least for the most part. It is that they are not happy with themselves, or they feel like they are entitled to our changing who we are so that they can feel better about themselves through the mechanism of reflecting their own ‘bad’ onto someone who is essentially ‘good.’

This is the truth. I did not make this up.

On this planet we share the air with people who have been told their entire lives that, because they are not willing to conform to someone else’s level of comfort, that somehow, they are ‘bad.’ What else is the truth is that not one of us has to accept what is someone else’s bullshit when it comes to things like who we are to anyone, namely and mostly ourselves. The damage that is caused by people not thinking before they speak, or perhaps not thinking at least about how it would feel if they were to be told the same things that they habitually say to others…that damage is huge and that damage lasts as long as it takes for a person to raise their level of awareness, at least to the point where what is being said cannot be proved as true.

It is only true if we choose to believe it.

At that point, we make their truth, our truth. At that point, we are living and being the person who they see and who they have a problem with. At that point, what we are doing is anything other than being true to ourselves. We are taught for our lives long that other peoples’ opinion is the truth of us and really, the truth of us is created by and through us. Other people are just tools in that creation. They are there with their cutting words and their biting assumptions, there with words but without a clue. They are there to make sure that they get what they need into our ears and our psyche, and there to help us choose what they are in terms of what it is that they bring to us.

Choosing who they are vs. allowing them to choose for us who we are

In the last paragraph, I wrote that we get to choose who they are in our lives. To make sure that things are more clear for you, let’s see these people as actual tools in a toolbox.

Now, realize that I have almost zero clue about what tool is useful for what job and that for the most part, I am using this only as an example. Inside of a toolbox there are several different tools. Each of those tools has a different purpose.  Each of them does different things, even though lots of them might look a whole lot alike.  Some are exactly alike but are a different size, meaning that even as they might look like something else, they are outwardly and essentially the same, but do not have the same purpose.

NOW…let’s look at the other side of this…the side where you call a guy to repair something.

That guy knows his stuff, and here you are, questioning that guy about his stuff. You sit there telling that guy what he should do according to you, and all the while, that guy is the one who is going to, without your help, either fix what needs to be fixed or leave the repair job, and all because you have shit to say about something that you called on him for. Because you do not know what this guy has already gone through earlier in his work day, you are taken aback when he tells you that you can fix it yourself, and you are offended by him when he hands you his tools and tells you to do it yourself (since you know better than the expert).

…the difference being…

In one instance, we are who, in our DIY manner, chooses who is and who is not a tool for us. We choose who will sharpen us through their words and their sordid thoughts about us. We choose who will strengthen us by their measure of trying hard to make us weak every chance they get. We determine what tool will be best for what job and what part of us needs to be made whole. When we are the one doing the choosing, we are managing who we are through whatever means it is that other people bring to us. In other words, we are not believing what others say of us that is not that great and who are choosing their stuff to measure against our stuff and we are finding out the truth through them without them realizing it.

In the other instance, when we call out someone else about their stuff and we believe them, we are allowing them to create for us an awareness that is not our own, and we are telling them that, because they have a problem, and since they are more willing to see what they think we are not able to do versus the reason why they called us out or upon us for whatever reason they have, we are letting them be in control and we are allowing them into that sacred place of wholeness that only we can see to. This is not to say that we do not, from time to time, in our actual abodes, not in need of someone to come and actually fix stuff for us. It is saying that when it comes to the home that is our peace of mind, the last thing that someone …anyone…needs is one more person telling us that they have a better way of doing things and why are we not doing things their way?

When it comes to that point is when we have to choose who they are to us…are they a tool? Are they someone in need of our specific help with themselves? Are they someone in need of specific help with themselves and who would rather not fix who they are – they would rather tell other people how said other people are not able to do what it is that we are all able to do, so long as we do it ourselves and without believing the things that people tell us is the truth of us.

Basically, the way that we become aware of the things that we are not topically aware of is simply trhrough observance, through listening, through paying attention to the things that others are telling us is the truth of who we are. What you will notice is that everything that they have to tell us about us is typically about them, as well, and when they tell us what they tell us, it is a reflection of themselves, not of us. We are not taught this way. We are taught to believe other people. We are taught to not trust us. We are taught to be beholden to the opinions of other people, and we are not taught that the only opinion of ourselves that truly matters comes from ourselves.

The hardest part of all of this awareness stuff is not that we have to look at what other people think of us. It is that we have to learn to accept that which is GOOD about us and learn to stop accepting what is bad about us according to other people.

The late Dr. Wayne Dyer said it best… “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”

The Truth…it completely rocks…namely when it is that we are the creators of our own…

Live Aloha…

I Love You All… ROX

#LosAngelesKahuna

#TheCrabAndTheFish

Medicine Dance Book Cover Front Draft RJB

Click on the photo to purchase your eBook copy of Medicine Dance at smashwords.com

 

Advertisements

Point Blank

Point Blank Meme The Manao Blog

Sometimes we need to be point blank with others, not only so that we can get things done, but more, so that not only they know what are our boundaries, but more, so that we will know and respect what boundaries we have set that others need to respect.

If there is a lesson that we should all be happy to learn, even if it hurts us to learn it, it is a lesson in respecting other peoples’ boundaries.

Now, I am not saying that making friends online is a bad thing, because I have a whole LOT of friends who I see online more than I do in the real, and of course, as we all do, I have PLENTY of online pals, too. Make no mistake, the connections we make online are as real as any connection we make with anyone at all in the real. To think otherwise is to try too hard to want to believe anything other than this one truth.

This one truth is something that a whole lot of people do not seem to get, that there are people who willingly are our friends, and that is where it stops, that is where it will always stop, and that is not a line that anyone needs to or should cross. Crossing it bleeds of disrespect, not only for another person’s privacy, but more, for who they really are.

We can push and prod and try hard to change this, this fact that what we want with anyone else is fine and good, but in terms of wanting more than we can have, and to push the issue further only shows another person that the one thing that we do not have, due to our own feeling of need or want or whatever, that the respect they are receiving that any and all humans should receive is not something that is being honored.

Honor is something that not a whole lot of people, sadly, know a thing about. To honor someone is to make it known by them and to them that who they are means something to anyone at all, but mostly, respecting who they are and everything that they need is the one thing that not too many people seem to have any regard for. I get it when we are in that thought that we have to…HAVE GOT TO…know someone, and I get it in terms of our own thinking that the message we are getting from a mere picture is something that ought to be taken as the truth.

Out truth and what it is that we want to believe may well be not what is the actual truth of another person.

For instance

Think about someone who is way interested in another person, but that other person has relayed to them that friends is all they will ever be. The person who does not accept this as their truth is not wrong in feeling as they do, but, when said person pushes and pushes, even as the person of interest has declined, this is when even the nicest “pushing” from that person is going to start becoming a problem.

It will become a problem not only for the person of interest (because they would have to continually repeat themselves with no promise that the person in pursuit of them will stop), but more, it will cause the person pursuing to try harder, and when we try harder and already know what the answer is…let’s just say that madness WILL set in.

Pushing anyone for anything is like telling them that what is their truth is not a good enough reason for anyone to just knock their crap off. Most sane human beings will take the hint and simply either deal with what is someone else’s truth, or, they will, as I just mentioned, continue trying hard to change someone else’s truth.

Trying hard to change what is anyone else’s truth is not an easy thing to do. Trying to make someone else see things through your eyes and from your perspective does no one any good at all if there is not that thing called respect. Pursuing anything or anyone at all who has already set the ground rules for any sort of relationship of any kind and that you might have just chosen to not think about what you are doing to that other person is not cool.

Where am I going with this?

Lately, and because I am trying to expand my network to include people who can help me, and I, them, no matter how big or small that help might be, I am running into a whole lot of those folks who seem to think that somehow they have a connection with me in terms of…ugh…we shall call it whatever it is that could also be thought of as being somehow an invitation for more than what it is that is there, that has been presented and that is the very truth of me and everything that I am really all about.

There are VERY few people on this planet who know, for real, who I am and what I am really about. Those few people know, very well, what my boundaries are, and with those few people, there seems, really, to be almost no boundaries. There is nothing that I will not do and that which is within my own power for each of them. They each and all know who they are. In terms of knowing who I am and what I am all about, they get it.

They understand that in order to be a part of my soul tribe, that as much as I respect their boundaries, they’ve gotta respect mine (and they do…Goddess bless each and every one of them for doing so…I Love you guys…thanks). It is not something that I have had to repeat to them, not something that was not understood by them and by me, and not something that is ever an issue that cannot be seen to in the manner that, should those boundaries be crossed, is done with love and regard for all of who I am…and it is very vice-versa with the each of them.

Then there are those ones who are brand new…the sort who want to tell me all these things so that I might well be impressed by the idea that on their end, there is some sort of connection that they have had with my picture. A picture is one thing, but to have a connection with anyone at all requires time, requires patience, requires love of the self, requires respect on a level that is not out loud, but assumed and presumed is just there. It also requires the ability to accept that which we might not like or want to hear, even as what we will hear is that other person’s truth.

That other person’s truth

When a person tells us something, it is up to us to get the hint.

Period.

If we are not willing to hear what they have to say to us, and we are not willing to take from them what is their truth and we are more willing to only see what is our own truth, and we continue to push and push for something that we know we cannot have (but yet we will continue to push) we can guarantee that eventually, and sooner than later, the pushing that we do WILL push back at us, and we might not be able to deal with the emotional after-effects caused by the things that we KNEW better than to continue doing.

Yet, continue doing as they will, they will do, and there are only a few things that we can do to make it known to them that we mean business, that they continually step over the line with us.

Perhaps it is that they cannot help themselves – human beings are like that. When we see something that we feel like we need, or we feel like there is something there that is not there, that is when we have to check ourselves, before we wreck ourselves. I mean, I get it…I totally get the idea that there are things and people in this lifetime that we would absolutely love to have in our lives. We are all like that, but, the difference between us and those who seem not able to accept our boundaries is marked.

It is marked in that all humans can sense emotional pain in others, and like all good humans will do, we want to find out what it is that we can do for anyone else in terms of helping them get through their pain, if not get out of it. You see, for us to want to help people not have a lot of pain is one thing. That is what I do for my work in this lifetime – help other people figure out ways to deal with their emotional pain and turn that emotional pain into a work of art, sometimes literally.

Sometimes, those who we would like to help only have one thing on their mind, and that one thing is simply to get us to change our mind about something that we might not be humanly able to do. I deal with this one everyday. I deal with people who just seem unable to accept the idea that whatever it is that is in their own heads and may well be a lovely thought, might not be what is in anyone else’s head and might not be that same lovely thought.

When we have bothered to take other people for their word and their word being that thing called “their truth,” is when we are ready to face other, more beautiful truths, and truths that we might not well have been able to deal with accepting for a long time, even though for a long time we knew that what we were seeing in front of us was the very truth of another person.

It is not now, nor has it ever been, neither will it EVER be anyone else’s business to try to stop us from having what is our own truth, and neither will it be one of those things that is acceptable to me, to anyone like me, to anyone period, to feel like that truth is not something that is accepted as well as respected by others.

Not accepting the truth of other people, namely when that truth is something that they hold near and dear to themselves, is like telling them that we think their truth sucks, and it sucks because we don’t like it.

Just because we don’t like it, it does not mean that we have the right to try to manipulate them to see things our way. It does not give us the right to plead our case to them, hoping they will understand why we do not share the same way of feeling our energy, but all the while, underneath it all, there is always that energy that tells us that what it is that we are feeling at any given time is somehow us lying to ourselves.

Ummm…whatever…keep on thinkin’ that way, cupcakes, and you are going to find out the business end of someone else that might not be the thing that you thought it was…seriously…

This is what happens when we decide that we do not want to accept another person’s truth about anything, but namely about ourselves and our place or our lack of place in their lives.

There is nothing more maddening for anyone, namely a light worker, than to have to repeat ourselves, over and over again. In terms of light workers, it is that we know, for real, whether you believe me or not, what the underlying motives are in anyone else (kinda cool how we sense energy like that, right? Riiiiight) If we are employed ‘in the realms’ like I am, and we are able to feel and sense our way through another person’s energy, we will try hard to not offend them but…make no mistake…when we are offended, the human being in us takes over the Spirit within by which we lead our very lives.

That’s when it is lights out, baby…

You can take my words as truth, or not, and it won’t matter – I will still be this me, and I will still not acknowledge a person who seems to believe that no matter what, my truth is not what I tell them that it really is. In this instance, my truth is exact, is absolute, and not now, and I must go ahead and say…IF EVER…will that truth change.

I am not one to exchange what (or WHO) is the most important to me, for anyone.

I said it…deal with it.

And I Promise you, each and all, that when I say something, I mean every word that I say. Again…there is a very small group of people on this planet who know this and understand this, because it is also the way that they roll.

If you cannot accept what is my truth, then I invite you to roll your ass on out of my awareness. I cannot get much more point blank than that, much as no one else can, either.

I promise…my truth is not going to change…for anyone…unless, of course, the person for whom it must change is me.

And that is a truth that some people are invited to simply choke down like a gallon of Nyquil on a hot day in the Mojave desert in August…

I Love You All

ROX

Rudy and the bluefish logo

Fish are cool !

(Especially the sort of fish who jam the blues like these guys!)

Click the picture to “like” Rudy and the Bluefish on Facebook


Waking up is hard to do

lion-waking-up

The last few weeks that have passed have shown us a side of ourselves that no one really cares to deal with. The reason the collective whole of us has been having a collective snit is simple – waking up to who we each and all truly are isn’t easy. In fact, waking up is hard to do.

I have said it more than once, and lately, have said it more than once a day. Those of us who are manifesting who we are for real are having growing pains. I know this one personally, as does any one of those closest to me. Some of us are not aware of this one thing, this thing that we are doing, this thing called waking up to our higher selves.

I could sit here and say that it was but one phone call this morning, but I would be full of crap in doing so. It was after that one phone call that a barrage of texts came to me, which are still happening right now as I sit here writing this and looking at the indicator light on my cell phone that is telling me I’ve been contacted.

We are being shown who we are, shown where our and also that our  greatness lives within us, and some of us, like me, for example, ain’t buyin’ the idea that maybe, for real even, we ARE that awesome.

Ummmm…hello? 

Believe it or not, we are THAT awesome. Think about it – you, me, everyone on this planet has the very same options open to us at birth. This is the truth. This is not something new. Thing is, we are not the ones, at birth, even though, paradoxically, we are always the ones, even at birth, who are ultimately in charge of what happens in our lives. The fact is that each of us, at birth, has that thing called free will at the same time that we are as vulnerable as any infant would be.

This is where a lot of us parents have it wrong, and have, for generations, had it wrong in that, we impose onto our kids the things that we want them to do, of course, for their own good, because we see in these little tiny people who call us mom or dad, the potential that is there due to another thing called the seed of greatness.

The seed of greatness is that thing within us all that we each have and is the option, when we are ready, to choose to sow in the soil of our lives.

While I know that it is hard to think about a five year old having the potential toward greatness when said five year old is out in the yard digging holes in the dirt and playing with bugs and possibly eating worms and her own boogers, what we do not see and what we do not know unless said child tells us, is what said child is thinking.

The seeds of greatness in said child might be in science as someone who finds a way to take dirt and turn it into fuel or energy or even self-producing organic fertilizer…no one knows that because we teach our kids, unfortunately, to be seen, not heard, and to make us proud.

Proud of what? Proud that they were born, and proud that here we have in our midst these tiny little lives that, if we are not more aware of it, we also have the very power to wreck, or at least put off, their chances at greatness created by their own efforts?

Parents are the very ones who set kids up for the fall and we do it through our placing demands on them without realizing that that is what we are doing. Of course we just want the very best for them, and in wanting this, we do like parents do and we start molding for them the structure that they will need in order to make us proud.

Note that I wrote “make us proud” and not “make their lives phenomenal through their own efforts and sense and ability toward creativity and creating that life.”

It is time, folks, for the majority of those of us who have procreated to take a look at our own involvement with our kids’ lives and take into account all of the barriers that were presented to us and know, right away, that what we are seeing there and right this minute is NOT the end of things, really. They ARE kids, and they are OUR kids, meaning that even now, even if they are our adult kids who no longer live in our care, we still CAN do something…”parental”…at this time.

It’s called being supportive of their efforts and knowing that they are doing their best.

Period.

Yeah…but what about us…you know, the ones who were once those kids and are now no longer in need of our mommies to make sure we don’t get lost in the supermarket?

Guess what?

We are always those very kids. I say so because if it were not the truth, the things that we know impede us and slow our growth are the things that we have to get through and have to no longer believe in order to continually evolve as we are meant to…well, those things, those issues, those ways of being would cease to be an issue or a way of being and would still be those things but those things would become options for us to choose instead of things that we have to evolve and grow from.

Essentially this means that we have to understand that the things that we have grown comfortable with, the things that we thought we could depend on and the things that we thought would always be there and be a given, just as we evolve, also evolve, and when those things evolve we experience growth.

The growth that we experience shows up in our lives as pain, as things that make our daily living a pain in the ass, are things that get up in our faces, make us feel like a useless turd and make us question everything that we think we know is the truth of us when in reality, there is so very much more than what we think is there.

We think we are nothing, but really, we are everything in the world and more. We think we are failing in life, but what we are actually seeing in front of us dressed up as failure is actually an opportunity dressed up as such. When we think we are losing anything at all, we have to bother with the question of “what is it that I am being shown and why?”

What shows up as a challenge is actually there to show us what we do not need anymore…or simply just does not fit in the manner that it once did…

…or that needs to be applied elsewhere, even though essentially, elsewhere could mean applying it to something that we would rather do than something that we have convinced ourselves that we have to do.

What this means…well…it means a lot. When things mean a lot, you know I have a story to tell you…so, here we go…

Once Upon a Time…

At one point in my life, I wanted to be a professional dancer. I had my sights set on the New York City Rockettes. At another point, I wanted to be a licensed mental health therapist. Yet, all the while, I knew, deep in the bones of my soul, that neither of these things were going to happen, for the simple fact that I was not meant for these two things.

While it is that technically I did grow up to become both a dancer and someone in the counseling trades, I am not, have never been a New York City Rockette, and even though I have a college degree and though I am very good at what I do, I am not technically the sort of therapist whose name is preceded by and neither titled “Dr.” anything.

Yet, this does not mean that I did not grow up to be just those two exact things – a dancer, and somewhat of a counselor, titled by the letters “Rev,” and no letters following my last name with “PhD.”

That I am one and not the other is one thing, but that the reason that many “professionals” in any industry at all fail to see anything other than what is my label placed there in any manner by anyone at all is quite another.

What most folks don’t realize is that it is never a title that makes anyone good at what they do, but rather and only their track record, and yes, who they really, truly, essentially are in terms of being a human being type person.

Yet, even the track record being anything at all meaningful with what it is that any one of us does with our time and our talent becomes irrelevant when the time is upon us that we must grow, that we must look toward who we are versus who we have been told we are, who we have assumed that we are, who we think we are, even when the outer signs and clues continually tell us that change is happening, is upon us, is going to happen, with us, for us and by us, and we are not aware that this is what is called waking up in the spiritual sense.

Waking up in the Spiritual Sense

The entire human population of this planet is evolving and for the very life of us, too many of us are not catching on to the idea that this is going to happen and it is going to happen to us all, even if we want to believe that we can fight it and that it is going to happen to us all namely if we are seekers of truth.

Seekers of truth are those of us who are not thinking about all of these things that we are each going through in terms of our having asked for something better, different, more attuned to who we are. For years all I wanted to do was to prove to people that I was talented and smart, that I could do the things that I said I could and more, and more than much else, I really and only wanted people to take me seriously.

No one really took me seriously, and to this day, no one really does unless they are part of my daily awareness. It may well have to do with the idea that I am quite an outgoing personality, not bothered by what a whole lot of people think of me anymore. I really only care that the things that I do in this world are the things that I am meant to do, that I am supposed to be doing, that I was born to do and that none of it does anyone in my world and who had any part of my world for a very long time can still not understand me.

But, anymore now, I am more likened to accept that there are people on this planet who will not ever understand me, who will never ever be able to wrap their heads around the work that I do and more than that, they don’t want to, and really, I am not in any position to try to make it clearer to them who and what I am.

Apparently, they have been ignoring it for as long as they have for the purpose of not having to understand me so as to not bother the truth that they have taken as their own.

This is all fine and good.

The reason that I wrote all of that is because I needed to write all of this part now – whenever it is that there seems absolutely no way out of something, this is when it is wise to think about everything that has transpired in our lives to this point and see there, through our own recount of events, the things that are tying together all of the other things that might not be telling any of us what is in store for us next.

This means that, when I thought I wanted to be a Rockette specifically, it was that I was being told by my soul that one day, part of my own life, in a professional manner, would have something to do with art and movement.

When I thought I wanted to be a shrink, it was actually that I was being told that somehow, I would be in the trades of helping people with the way that they think,so that they can modify their thoughts to accommodate who they are, while still living somewhat the life that they are building, so that one day they can live the life that they have been building from the ground up for the majority time they have been in this lifetime and in this shell of a body.

I know, I know…it seems hard to believe that all of this time, you have been doing what it is that you do, not thinking in terms that maybe what you do is not conducive to who you are growing to become, and all the while, every one of us worried, fretted, thought the worst, including me. (I AM comprised of flesh and blood, people, even as we are all and also comprised of the moon, the stars and the universe…)

It is hard to believe that the things we have done for years no longer serve us, and if they do, they’re no longer what they were for us, meaning that, again, those things are evolving.

It is hard to believe that when we each and all asked for a better life, that while we went through and a whole lot of us are right in the middle of the turmoil, that we would not also think that we would have to deal with these sorts of frustrations.

It is hard to believe that when we are preparing for our highest and best life possible, that we end up having to see, go through, feel, know the things that we would rather not.

We have to learn the things that we would rather not, so that when the things that we would rather know finally make its way to us, we will know without a doubt that what it is that we are building toward, and what it is that we used to have as part of our awareness of our very truest selves, we would also know that we have learned a whole lot, that we have had the things that we wanted all along and that no matter what, we would have had to also experience the things that we have so that we would know the difference.

The difference between what, you might want to know?

The difference between what it is that is the very essence, the very song and the very energy of your Soul, and what, essentially, it was that you have been doing all this time in order to know what it is that is NOT…and this is what is known, what folks who work in the weird have been calling and telling people without outright telling them they are doing, that everywhere, even as much as it sucks and is very, very nerve racking and scary…waking up to one’s own higher self, so as to one day wake to being the epitome of one’s own highest and best self.

You have been waking up and finding out who you are for real.

Who you are for real is not contained within a label, not contained within anything that any one of us does, and is only and will always only remain in the idea that all along, we all know and knew what it is that we are meant for, and it is nothing short of brilliance and greatness.

I Promise…

I Love You All !

ROX

BLOG MEME FOR JUSTROX hula shoot

 

 

 


Intolerably, Indignantly Righteous

Learning that we are right is one thing. Being a righteous ass hat about it is completely another thing all together.

I learned a few very important lessons this week from more than only one person. In fact, now that I am not an emotionally driven freak about many things, and now that I have had my opportunity to stop myself from getting overly righteously passionate about certain areas of my own life, I have learned that there are times when we are expected to become indignantly righteous about things, and also and more importantly, times when it is upon us each to shut the fuck up and simply just listen.

Just shut the fuck up and LISTEN

Sometimes, we need to shut our mouths, and sometimes, we need, without getting too much in our own way, to stay out of peoples’ business when they are busy trying to make us know something that may well be one of the very most important things that we will ever learn, even and especially when we think we are the bastion of being absolutely and unfailingly right. Sometimes we need to just stay quiet, and sometimes we really just need to listen because in that act of simply listening, we will….WILL…end up learning at least that, more than much else, not only are we not always right, but also, we might be traversing the planet unaware of a few truths that, really, if we would just STOP being so righteously indignant about how right we are and realize that while we are right, that there may not be a wrong, and in fact may well be two ‘rights.’

This new calendar year brought with it the ending of things. Even as it is a new start to a lot of things, and while it might well be that a lot of us who are not that …evolved… might have just followed suit in that they would start their resolutions right away, for the most part, the beginning, unlike the blog about the end being the start of the beginning and how it tells us, basically, that the circle of Karma that we started so as to become a stand alone type human, the end for some people is not the same thing as it will be for those who are in the light of Spirit and squarely in the middle of our own evolution of soul and self.

By this I mean that, no matter what, we are watching our balance become what it is that we have intended for it to become, and in that watchfulness, we have forgotten that while it is great and awesome for us to know this, we have to learn to not only balance it all out, but more, we have to also learn to walk in our proverbial new shoes.

New Shoes

If you have never seen someone who has never worn a pair of high heeled shoes finally wear a pair of them, then you do not know that it takes time and practice to learn to wear them, let alone walk in them. This is the same thing that is happening now in our lives – we are all being expected to wear these new things about ourselves, these new lessons learned, the things that we learned throughout the last year, and most of all, how it was that we fared through it all.

We fared through it all as best we could. We did what we thought we were meant to do, and we tried hard to not lose ourselves in the process, and not realizing we had done so, we lost ourselves anyway, because that is what we were meant to do, supposed to do, and not one of us liked it. Not one of us likes what it is that we are in the middle of right this moment. Not one of us can comprehend much more than what it is that we, ourselves and on our own, have actually been through.

While it applies to plenty of people, there are a very few of us for whom all of this madness which ensued and which we each and all still are trying hard to take stock of the chaos who have not been able to keep our heads squarely on our shoulders. However, there are those of us who, for whatever purpose they have, who are choosing to hang on, NOT to the lesson that was born of all of this, but more, unfortunately, the righteous indignation we have suffered and which was brought about through our own hands, our own thoughts, and the one thing that those people who are thinking in this manner are NOT thinking about is that this is NOT the time to stand there, in all of that righteous indignation, hanging onto whatever it is that you, yourself, cannot change.

You only have the power, no matter what the hell you think, to deal with you. I could have remained angry about something that I came to accept not but a week ago, in fact, a week ago today, about someone who I thought might have had my best interest at heart, only to come upon the truth of what I have always known – that there are people within my own circle of souls who have not been, who will not ever be, someone who is not so righteously, albeit quietly and even covertly, arrogant that they would do what they thought they might be able to in order, not that I would lose my gifts, but that they would – my gifts – be seen as “less than” what they are, by anyone at all.

When it is that we are upon such a truth as that, the sort that is not only thought provoking but, as well, quite life changing in terms of who we know is “for” us and who is not, while it might have been that, at one point in time, we would have become ass hurt over something like it, at this time in our lives, we are, if we are more evolved and have chosen to go through what we have in order to learn, not bothered by it as much as we might have been in the past. And this is only an example of what it is that has been given to us as a gift of the Mother Goddess.

Do not mistake righteous indignation with our knowing, righteously, where it is that we need to become Stand Alone in our power, in our energy…

The biggest thing that I have noticed is that there are people who are righteously indignant about things with only their air of arrogance in play, and then there are those of us who, while all of the madness was happening in our lives and we were not-so happily plodding through it, knew then, when the madness began, what it is that we know now, are staring straight and squarely in the eyes of it, and are more inclined now than ever we have been to do something about it all.

Where it is that we are so very overwhelmed is where it is that we have to look at the reason why. It doesn’t mean that we are somehow more flawed, but instead means that there are parts of ourselves, as our outer and tangible lives will tell us, that we either need to put away, or, give away, or more importantly, through that act of giving away, let go. There are also things that are telling us that we are lacking in certain areas, but that the lack is not really a lacking of anything but rather and only a place where it is our kuleana, our responsibility, to create what must be placed there.

While most of us knows this, there are still many who are living in the arrogance, inside of the energy which is protection through ignorance, or perhaps protection through becoming defensive when in reality there is not a need to defend what we are not understanding, but rather and only a need for us to have at least some clarity about what it is that we believe is the major malfunction of our lives.

Too many people want to blame others on what it is that we, ourselves, have to see to. It is not someone else’s fault if you, yourself, have chosen to stay locked in the pattern that you find yourself stuck in. In fact, most folks who have a clue are more inclined to tell those closest to them that yes, they have things that they want to see to, things that they know they have to do, including this Kahu, that, unless and until it is done, there is no more of anything coming to us but more chaos, more confusion, more of the bullshit that not one of us can claim truthfully that we like.

Of course, getting through all of the chaos also depends on how much time we have everyday.

In a lot of peoples’ lives, the one thing that we each have very little of, because we are the masters of our own existence, is time. It is a funny thing to me to think that we believe we can just simply create time to get it all done. Once it is that the very lot of us decides, like a very few minimum of us has chosen, to look first at ourselves and where it is that we are not completely okay with what we are looking at, and once it is that we claim that we are the owners of that chaos – only then will the clarity and the cognition that we need in order to see to it all, for once and for all, begin to come to us.

It is my own opinion that it is not time that we need, but clarity. It is not time that is going to make this all happen, but our own clarity of thought about where, tangibly and intangibly, all of our stuff should go. Someone very close to me knows what this is all about, to have nothing but complete say so over what is their life, and to have it together in their head, and to see it all in the visions that come to them, and to think that they do not know where they will have time to do this. It is not that easy just shitting another hour out of an already very busy life, let alone day. They are not the only person with this issue.  We will each find that in those closest to us are the very proverbial keys to the kingdom of clarity, and if we are good enough and strong enough, not only to them, but to ourselves, they will gladly school us on some things that we do not realize are not apparent to us, if only and simply for the fact that really, we have no clue what is the truth and reality of anyone else unless and until they allow us that much energy.

Yet, even in this day and age of weirdness and things not of this world are more accepted than they have been in a long while, too many people do not believe that what we want, no matter what it is that we want, is already ours and in manifest. Too many people want to be righteously angry with people in their lives and some want to hang on to that old energy that is not releasing themselves, all on their own, by being kind to themselves, want to blame someone else for the madness that is apparent. For the very life of them each they cannot figure out why it is that things seem to be looking up for a majority of people close to them, and that they are somehow stuck in whatever pot of shit stew they are in.  This is not saying that everyone who is currently in a pot of shit stew is there because they are not willing to look at the mess. This is saying that there are people who just, even as they know it is the best thing for them, cannot let go.

The Righteously Indignant Nature of Arrogance

For most of our lives we have been taught that we have to fight things that we don’t like. Lots of the time those things that we don’t like are not even part of our awareness on a daily basis. We humans are silly and are so because we know better than the way that we sometimes behave. I know someone who is, for all the right reasons, very upset right now. In fact, the whole scenario between this person, another one very close to me, and another person, brought out of them each the one thing that only one of them, at least to my knowledge, has really learned anything about, and that one thing is called forgiveness.

I am not talking about forgiving someone else, but one’s very self. 

Indeed, there comes a time in all of our lives that we can no longer bear the weight of our own indignation, of the very stagnant energy that is the same ol’ thing happening, again and again, in our lives, and we either get tired of it continuing to happen, or finally, one day, we stand up, realize that we are stand alone, and in that energy, we release those who hurt us the most, which in turn releases us as well.

You don’t have to believe what you have just read. You can continue to hang on to that energy that is being righteously angry with others, or, you can come to terms with the part that you have played in the mess that has been created of your own life and you can take the chance to make things happen for you, rather than to you.

It’s like Dorothy never realizing until she woke up that she had the power to change the status of her wanting to go home. All she had to do was realize it.

I Love You All …

ROX

Visit my website , read my teaching blog, come and hang out with me at bandbacktogether.com…yup…I’ve written a few books, teach hula as both Medicine and as some of the funniest luau entertainment that a group of employees has ever had the opportunity to take pics of the higher ups learning hula from me…yup…at company parties…of course, I also marry people…I do LOTS of stuff…because I’m just Rox, and that’s how I roll…follow me on Twitter…but above all…smile and laugh a lot – folks will either think you are talkin’ smack about ’em…or you’re crazy ! Either way, it’s just you being you !! Aloha!

THe Ghetto Allegory for Mana'o Blog

 

Click the picture to visit The Ghetto Allegory


On Learning

Human beings are built for learning. It is our freedom of thought and our free will which causes us to learn, or not to learn. The question always, in every situation, begs to be asked – “What Have You Learned?”

*****

I am a big believer in learning, and in teaching, and with the right teacher, under the right set of circumstances, anyone at all can learn whatever it is that we put our minds to. This is not news. This is not something that we all do not inherently know. This is the truth. The thing about learning, though, is that it is at our option if we will take up the lessons brought to us by Spirit, brought to us by our own soul’s heeding them into our lives. There is truth to the idea that we need very dearly to be careful what we wish for. Yes, it has to do with Karma, but more, it has to do with what it is that we have, through our souls, asked to learn upon entrance into this lifetime.

Lessons and learning them are two separate things. We are given lessons because we ask for them in the form of “I Wish I Had/Did/Could/Tried/Etc” and some of them are lessons which we were meant to learn upon entrance into this lifetime. This is what is meant by our being told to be careful what we wish for because we may well get those things, those situations, and of course, those people. We need to be very careful when asking and wishing for things. It is not the actual words spoken but more, the intention and the energy behind those things.

When we set out onto our days, and this is the hardest part to believe, it is upon waking that the things that we set into motion begin to play out, and we are none the wiser to it. This is what happens when we tell the universe that we want something, and it is not out of our mouths that it is stated, but rather and more so from the heart and soul within us each. When we are wishing death on someone, wishing harm on someone, wishing that we had never met them, wishing anything at all, and we have our emotional soulful selves backing up our play, we can guarantee that, even as we will not like the outcome, we will learn what we must, and the Universe will choose the right teacher for us to learn from.

This was something that I did not quite understand when I was a younger person. I went with the premise that we are the fools of an angry god who only brought us here to pick on us and make us into his slaves. This is really the way that my little brain perceived my parents’…hell…my entire family’s beliefs in a higher power. As I grew older, I began to see the realities of what was happening, and I realized, much later in my lifetime, that God is relative to who is willing to be enslaved, not by God, but by the people running God’s show. This simply means that what I was taught in regards to belief, in regards to anything at all, was a pawn of fate. I was taught that we humans are not powerful enough to think on our own, without some big, scary…thing…out there in the big scary Universe and that if I did things outside of what God wanted us to do according to the Old Testament’s Ten Commandments, that I would be headed for hell for sure.

The one thing that no one thinks about is that while all humans have the capacity to be followers, others, leaders, there are some of us who roll on our own.  We are taught “pack mentality” as children, and we are taught that majority rules and that our lone voice does not count. We are taught that the bigger person is always who comes out on top, not realizing that what we are hearing is not what is being said, but you can’t tell a kid that – kids will believe and know and understand through the mechanism of their imagination. They will believe that it is the bully, who is normally the bigger person physically, who wins, and with that thought in their heads, they will go on in life to be bullied, because we are not more clear about it when we are telling them what actually is the “bigger person.”

I am using this example because it is the one that draws a picture for us all as to how we learn what we do and where it is that our own methods of learning comes from. I used to be this kid, the one with the big fat imagination, but in my life as a child, things that were big were meant to be scary. It was what I was taught – to fear – and is also what I learned, very well, the idea that the bigger they, whoever they might be, are, the more chances that I would have at being afraid. This was the thing that I was taught in church, as well, because no one bothered to clarify for me what it meant to be the “bigger person.” I was not a “big” person. It was often said that I was “a stick,” was akin to a starving mantis who could not fight for herself, that I would be best served by hanging onto a pole cemented into the ground should a slight breeze visit my awareness. I had always been, remain to be to this day, not a very large person.

Imagine being a tiny little kid and being told these things. Tiny little kids have great big imaginations. It is our imagination which teaches us our mode, our method, our ability, our everything regarding our being able to create our lives. A child is going to learn from his or her own awareness of things, from his or her own imagined thought about what is, and what is not “big.” In my imagination, things that were big were equally scary. I was always scared of “big fat spiders,” and always worried that if I went swimming in what is my spiritual origin – the ocean – that surely a big angry Shark would come and eat me…funny how these days people refer to me as “The Mama Shark” in terms of getting my Artemis Spirit thing on, right?

How we are taught is as important as what we are taught, but certainly not as important as what we choose to learn

Choosing to learn is the part of life that either makes us or breaks us. Where it is that a person would rather see everything in terms of their own version of “black and white,” there is an entire gray area that no one thinks about, the area in our lives where we have no answers and where the only answers are the ones that make no sense, at least not right that moment.

It is not within our ability to learn things as much as it is stored within our ability to accept and apply what it is that we have learned. It is like when we choose to train our pets, or perhaps to train our children to use the toilet – it is not our method of teaching as much as it is our method of learning that matters most. Most of us want to learn the easy way, but that rarely happens and rarely happens because most of the time, it is the negatively charged happenings within the boundaries of our lives that cause us to learn. It is everything in our awareness that makes us know what is comfortable and uncomfortable and normally we are apt to remember what it was that we learned that was not so great.

This causes a negative energy within us that tells us that we are going to have to learn the hard way. This is how we do things, because this is how we are taught from a very young age that every action has its own consequence, and every time we do anything at all, there is a consequence attached. This is what causes a lot of us to stay stuck in the energy that we should not risk anything, that what we know right now is enough and that perhaps we are too old to learn anything at all.

Ummm…NOT

We do not stop learning. We do not stop being taught, if not by people like me whose job it is to enlighten and teach the ways of Spirit, then by Spirit Herself. We do not stop learning when we are granted a degree from college, and we do not stop learning once a lesson that we are aware we are learning has been learned. Always, there is a lesson that we are learning. Whether it is that we have learned it because we asked through prayer or meditation or whether it is that we set things in motion karmically, we are never not learning.

It is the reason that I tell people, all the time, to pay attention to what is happening in their lives, because they may miss the message being given. I tell people all the time to broaden their thinking, because it will make room for things to happen for them in a manner that makes sense. I tell my students to question themselves always, and tell them, too, that what they need to learn, they will learn, and it will be in the same manner that the harshness of life comes to them – raw, ugly, a jumble-fuck of a confusing mess that seems to have no end to it at all, and one that is likely a very important lesson for them to learn in terms of what they are here for and what their mission is and more, who that mission is to be carried out with.

We ask for things, and we are not clear on the reality of what we are truly asking for. Where it is that we are asking for one thing, it may well seem that another thing is what we get, and what we don’t get at that moment when it seems that the entirety of the Universe has the deck stacked against us, what is really happening is that we are being refined by the fires of life, are about to take on a lesson in the Firewalk of Spirit so as to create from the proverbial coal that we think we are, the diamond which we so fiercely want to protect and keep for ourselves when in fact it is meant that our brilliance is to be seen by the All Of Us.

The question “What have you learned?” is meant to spark within us all more questions regarding the question. There is never only one lesson to be learned. We must think of the things that come with the bigger lessons as the electives that are meant as the balancing act of the Goddess that tells us that we are to apply those electives and the learning from them to the big fat thing that we would rather avoid because in our avoidance of those things there is the energy that we do not have to face them at all. This is wrong. We have to face the things that no longer serve us, have to deal with the ugliness to get to the beauty that is within the energy that scares the hell out of us, or, in some cases, where learning the truth of spiritual beliefs, having the hell scared INTO us. It really doesn’t matter, either, because no matter what, and whether we want to or not, we will learn, if not in this lifetime, then in another one that we do not realize that, because we chose not to learn, we must return in body from Spirit to learn what we could not face.

It pays for us each to face the monsters in the closets of our minds, pays for us to know what is useful, what is memorable and worth keeping, and pays dividends in terms of making room for all the good things to come into our lives when we choose to learn to release what we think keeps us safe but in reality, keeps us running around in circles trying to find the end of the things that make us crazy, and not in a good, lampshade at a party sort of way.

Learn, for no other reason than that none of us likes to face our own demons, our own ugliness disguised as the monsters in the closet of our minds.

If we don’t learn to tame the monsters, we won’t find out that it was not a monster but rather and only that teddy bear we so loved as a child…the very one who was responsible for keeping the monsters at bay…

…kinda get it now?

I Love You All!

ROX

Dolphins_Mana_O_Blog_Meme

Click here to “Like” #TheManaOBlog on Facebook

Medicine Dance Hula on Facebook


A Larger Awareness

The thing that none of us thinks about when we are forced by Spirit to walk through the proverbial fires in life is that our Awareness is made bigger and we are served with Spiritual gifts and the sharpening of them through that very flame.

*****

It is not about who has gone through more than whoever else. Life is not meant to only be sunshine and roses, but more a collection of experiences meant to teach us who we are in this lifetime.  Who we are in this lifetime is what we are supposed to find out. How we get there is not ever readily available for us to know, as who we are is meant to be created. We cannot depend on the opinions of others to create for us the people who we are intended to be. Other people are meant to help us get there, to teach us who we are not, and to remind us that we are not alone on our Path.

Yet, it is not always going to be a human teacher.  Our Aumakua (Guides) come to us in many forms, and lately, that form has been through avian creatures, specifically birds. Lots of us have had encounters with our feathered friends this week, and also with those same friends who bear 6 or 8 legs. None the less, more and more of us have become aware to the idea that somehow, that we see these creatures all the time is one thing, but that we have each seen them and that each time that we had seen them, it was our Souls that took notice.

It came to me, personally, in the form of these creatures, in regards to a loss of energy that was great in terms of weightiness, in terms of things that have no clear explanation other than that it was just meant to be and was meant to be because it is simply a part of the Path which we each travel, on our own, but totally not by ourselves. When I thought about the sheer depth of the loss, I also thought about what, in those same terms, I’d also lost. It used to be sad to me that I never really knew my mother’s father better than I had, but given the things that I’d known about this person, the one thing that always stood out the most to me was his gift for music. Yes, he was also a magnificent golfer, but that is not a gift that is quite the same for me in the way that the ability to create beautiful tones which become music, literally, to the ears, is something that, as someone who still loves to dance hula, is needed by all of us, but in particular, dancers.

Realize that the loss suffered was not mine, even as to this very moment, I can literally feel that loss as though it were my very own.  In that loss, though, I could also sense the loss that I had not realized was mine, which was my own Tutu Papa, a man most people only knew as “Uncle Bill.” While I did not know this man as well as I perhaps should have, what I did know of him was his music. The thing that used to make me sad was the idea that, as a Kumu Hula, my grandfather and I never had the chance to even connect on that level, because when he passed away, I was not yet the teacher, neither haumana…I was simply just a dancer who was in love with both the dance, and more, the music which accompanied it.

While several others were granted the sight of the birds, it was their song which captured me, much more than did just the sight of them. I could hear them singing like I had never in the past, and I could sense their happiness, their joy, and for a moment, given the actual thing that came to pass not too very long ago at all, I could also sense, not just the presence of the recent loss, but more, my Tutu Papa’s presence in the music that was nature. It was in this …thing…that seems to me to still be a bit of a mystery, the thing that happened in another’s life, that my own awareness of just exactly how connected we all really are to one another.

As perplexing as it may seem, and perhaps there may one or more of you who will not “get it” in terms of sensing another’s grief personally, it is not the why, neither the how, or anything “human being” that we must understand outside of the human reaction to our losses, because in those losses are the golden pieces of the puzzle which never is completed. In the hugeness of the energy that was of loss, there was also a brand new Awareness which, if we have paid attention, have bothered to want to see what other people might not want to see, has grown, and not only grown, but has grown exponentially.

How my Grandfather told me he cares still

I make no secret of it that I was lucky enough to be incarnated into this lifetime surrounded by and loved by many talented musical people. On both sides of my family I am blessed with people who can play an instrument, who can sing, and who can bring intangible gifts to all of us.  I have always loved music, always been drawn toward those who are creatively gifted in a musical sense, because I have also always known that music is the thing that any dancer needs.  I have always danced. Anyone and everyone who knows me knows this about me. I have always loved to dance, for fun, and of course, professionally, any dance style that I can replicate and make my own, with the one that I have Loved the very most since I was a tiny little girl of three years old, which is Hula.

Hula was, is, will never not be the music which is my own Soul’s musical talent. Without Hula in my life, I am not sure that I would be who I am now, really, because Hula has always been the way that my own people have communicated with their gods and is the way that I communicate, even now, with those very same gods, with my own ‘Aumakua (yes, even my Tutu Papa) and of course, when there is an audience, the rest of my own world, right at that moment. What these last two weeks have brought to my Awareness is that, if we pay attention to the things that stand out to us the most, in those things and in those thoughts which come from Awareness of those things, we find out that we are still in the company of the ‘Aumakua and of the people who are no longer physically with us in this consciousness.

While I will not state  what loss was suffered, I will state that what is not yet realized by any one of the people who do know, is the Awareness which was created that has not yet been discovered in the manner which I am positive it will be seen by those who know what I am saying here. The reason that I know this is simple, and was contained in a birthday gift to my only daughter, who is named Grace, but in this instance, I will refer to her as “My Maile.” “Maile,” pronounced “My Lei,” asked for an ukulele. Maile has always wanted to play a stringed instrument. She has always been, just like her mother has always been, somewhat in love with music, even preferring what is counted as her own version in her own generation’s version of metal music.

Maile has always had a very real closeness with my younger cousin, Drew, who is a professional musician with the indie metal band, “Black Oil.” She loves “Uncle Drewcifer,” and sometimes, they jokingly call each other “Uncle Drewcifer and Gracifer.” Yes, I know…some of you reading this are tsk-tsking me, and that is fine. Those are just terms of endearment between the two of them. She has always loved him, like I loved with all the “little cousin” energy that I can, another man from the same family which Drew hails from, whose name is Jimmy and is the eldest of those cousins of mine from that ohana. My Maile, like I was with Jimmy, was drawn to Drew because of the sameness of sibling like energy. I won’t say that it is because of Drew that she so loves live metal music shows, loves to mosh (even though she comes home looking like she has been moshing…much like her mother used to back in the ’80’s…yup…hi, Heidi…haha…’aye mijo’…bwaahahahahaha), loves everything that rocks a person to the very core of their Soul.

Maile, like me, loves music, loves being with her musical pals as much as I truly love and adore what limited time I have with mine. (Hi guys! I Miss you all…I Love You All !) Maile, like me, started learning Hula at the same age that I did – 3 years old – but did not “catch” me dancing like I caught my mother. I actually showed her how, then when the time came and I started Hula i Lalo Ka La (“Dance Beneath the Sun”), she knew what her little friends did not and was a willing participant in teaching them what she knew.

While I grew and continue to grow this Love which is contained within me that is the very essence of my Soul – Hula – my own daughter’s Love is for the creation of the music, all kinds of music, not that a dancer dances to, but that a musician plays. Just as I was very interested in the “count of 8” in more modern styles of dance, versus what is the “count of 4,” in Hula, my Maile is very interested not only in playing, but in also being able to read, to understand, and yes, eventually create her own music. While I will not lie – a little piece of my Soul aches for my baby girl to want to dance Hula again, there is a huge piece of me that is jumping up and down, “metal horns” WAY UP, for my girl, the one with holes in her lips, an attitude and of course, a Soul comprised of that one thing every kid, no matter their ethnic origins, is born with.

That One Thing is the Soul which is Aloha.

The way that my own Awareness was made wider these last two weeks was contained within what were the losses, because in those losses and according to what is my own experience with those and the ones which preceded it, not only showed up in the songs which were the birds, the flight path they chose, the fact that the wind did what it does when my Nana is saying something to me, the idea that upon the thought of certain thoughts and energies, certain creatures show up in our awareness to remind us that we are so not alone, that those who have passed onto the other side are still very much here with us, still walking beside us and letting us know so in many different ways.

In my case, it was the little black ukulele that my Maile got for her birthday, was the breeze wafting over my head and which carried hummingbirds toward me, hummingbirds who have always reminded me of my grandmother, Katherine, and who daily give me a reason to know that when others pass, they are not gone, because their Love for us never goes away, just like ours for them also does not.

We all dearly need to take into our own selves the signs which are given and which are for us alone. Once we can believe that that which seems to be coincidental is not so coincidental after all, and that sometimes, our Loved Ones who have crossed over in the physical sense, in their Soul form, are still with us, our Awareness of things gets wider. Just because they have changed form, it does not mean that they have changed themselves in any other manner. They simply have become the evolved form of the Love which they, themselves, are…which really, we all are.

Whenever I hear my friend, Owana Salazar, singing in her beautiful tones, whenever I hear any of the Pahinui ohana’s music, and yes, whenever it is on the breeze which is gentle like the strumming of slack key guitar, whenever it is that I hear the singing of the birds who visit my Awareness, I am reminded that they do not leave us…they just evolve. I am reminded that my Nana sings to me still, that my Tutu Papa is still playing beautiful music, and is doing so through means that, without a greater heightened sense of Awareness, I might not know or even have an inclination toward this idea that yes, indeed, they are still very much with me, with all of us.

Without a heightened sense of Awareness brought to us by the big giant personal losses we each have had to endure, none of us would know that the answers are contained there within our personal Awareness.

I Love You All…

ROX

1MANA_O_BLOG Drunken Hula Meme

Hey…a girl’s gotta have SOME fun, sometimes, right? Haha…actually, I try to have fun as much as I can, but when it involves Hula? It is SO on!

If you would like to know what this particular picture is all about…send  an email to reverendroxie22@gmail.com


Do you see what I see? (Probably not)

Awareness. It can serve us or, through our not wanting to look at what is the truth and the reality, it can hinder us. What is in your awareness, and more – do you know why it is there?

*****

It is my opinion that being aware of things is far more than watching one’s own okole. True, in our physical awareness, and with everything that we see within it, we can see the basic truths of things as they are in the physical sense of things.  We are not really sensing, unless we have been taught to do so, what else is there, in our awareness, and why it is there.

In the lives of Light Workers and Healers, it is awareness which makes us seem as though we have some sort of magical ability to sense where it is that other people are in need of healing (we do, but that is for another blog post). By healing, I do not mean of only the physical sort, but of the emotional and soul sort, which really is where all of our ailments in the body come from. Our thoughts dictate our perception of things, and our memories and the imprint left there by past events help to confirm for us what has come into our awareness.  How we see what has come into our own awareness is how we will always, until we learn to replace whatever it is that is symbolized by what we are looking at, feeling, smelling, hearing, etc., through the limited capabilities of our five physical senses, see what has come into it. The things contained in those thoughts become the symbol of whatever emotions we have behind those thoughts.

And for real, that is where our own personal reality begins – with our own symbols of what we are aware of at any given time.

Turtles, Sharks, Pineapples, Crabs, Alligators, Teeth…

You are all likely wondering what these seemingly random things are about.  For each of these things, there is a corresponding reason for the symbolism produced by each of them, for me, which relates to something or someone else.  Each of these things carry specific meaning and energy for me, and each of these things is related to something as well as someone else.  However, what each of these things means to me does not mean that each of these things will also mean the same things to you.

What are my personal symbols and the reasons behind them are mine. This does not mean that someone else does not have the same symbolism, for the same reason, but normally, what is my “Gator” is someone else’s “Monkey,” and what is my “monkey” is no one’s business but my own.

Symbolism plays a huge part in our own personal awareness of things, of situations, of people. It also is sort of a holder, a container, if you will, of memories which give us each its own personalized energy that was not only created by us, but also has been stored in the capacity in which it was presented to us.  If someone told us something years ago, and we mentally relate that thing to something else, usually a visual, like a mental picture of even a movie scene (no, really), the way that we will remember that is either that it was a good thing (such as the word “Pineapple,” and how it has always made me feel) or perhaps a very bad thing (such as the word “Turtle,” and how, from time to time, it makes me feel), and that is how we will store the memory – it was either good, or it was bad. It is not the actual symbol, but the event related to that symbol that is also where the energy, at least in each of our heads, is stored, good or bad.

What is my “Pineapple” will not be yours, but it could be your “Coconut”

Now, while I am sitting here writing this, and as I read my own words, I am given to a bit of laughter, because what those two words symbolize for me, at least, will not be what they are for a whole LOT of other people, unless those other people know what each of those relate to (only a small handful of people know what either of those two words mean for me…I know they’re  just fruit to you, but they mean a whole, WHOLE lot to me…). My whole point here is that, with just the opening sentence to this portion of this writing, I have effectively planted a seed, not about pineapples and coconuts, but about other things that you, the reader, relates those things to.  At this time, there are some of you whose immediate mind picture was of Hawai’i, and for others, summertime, and yet others, people (yes, people). No matter how anyone looks at each of these words, and knowing what they are technically, no matter what – each of us at this very moment is seeing a different mind-picture, even as we are all seeing the very same words.

It is our awareness of things, of these things which we each have and call our own symbols that bring to us the pieces of reality which we have created.  This is what is meant by anyone at all saying that we create our own reality. Everything that we see and know and feel in our lives, somehow, we drew to ourselves.  What we are not aware of at the time that the things in our awareness is created is that, really, we called what we have in our lives into our lives, because through those things and of course, through those people, there were and are lessons that we also called into our awareness.

Reread that. Reread it because what might seem like I have said that you invited that horribly abusive spouse, that you invited those less-than-desirable people who stole from you into your life, that you invited the way you were treated as a child, that you invited all of the turmoil to your life that you are faced with, in reality, what was really brought by you was the lesson you wanted to learn. It was through means that you could understand why it is that you did not understand why you were someone’s victim (…really, it was so that you would find out that in reality, you were never anyone’s victim, but that you were your own survivor), why those people who swore they were your friends went out into the world and said some really awful stuff about you (…really, it was so that you would know that you truly were NOT with the people who you were meant to hang with, and now look at who you are hangin’ with…yay you!), why it is that anything you have gone through and that also sucked, sucked as badly as it did – it is because you called the lesson into being, that’s why.

You wanted to know some things, and, in wanting to know some things, you needed to have something, some sort of symbol, that you would recognize and that would stick in your brain-cave.  In those things that you needed, there were symbols that you attached to them, and throughout the time that you were learning, you were also cementing into your head whatever symbolism it was that you associated with that person, that place, or that thing, and no matter what way any one of us looks at where we have each been and what we have each gone through, it cannot be denied that whatever it is that you were meant to learn, you probably learned, because you bothered to pay attention to your awareness.

I recall being a little kid and hearing my “Tutu Aunties” (My dad’s aunties…they were ancient to me when I was a child) always scolding us all to ” ‘auhea wale ana ‘oe – PAY ATTENTION!,” and yes, that is what that phrase means, to make sure you are paying attention. I say it often, mainly to some of the teens I coach, that they will want to learn to ‘auhea wale ana ‘oe, because it is not only through what I teach them that they need to retain, but more, what it is that their own good thoughts produce for them as their symbolism and why it is that they associate certain words with certain pictures.  No matter what their reason is, it is their thought associated with a past event which brings to mind their symbols, just as it does for the rest of us.

It is our own symbolism which shows to us, in the manner which only the Mother Goddess can give to us, from our own souls, which help us make the most sense of things, namely when it seems as though there is nothing but nonsense about certain things we have to deal with.  In thinking that we would like to have a better life for ourselves, and for those who we love the very most, we create things that remind us of things associated with the people who are a part of our soul tribe, a part of our family, the family which we were not born into and have instead created for ourselves.

We created the family for ourselves that we do have by calling into our lives and into our awareness the lessons needed so that we may, not seek out these people who we call “family,” but so that at just the right time, when our souls were ready to receive them, and theirs, ours, we just sort of happened for one another. To our lives we draw the people who mean something to us, the very ones who remind us of things, of places, and whenever we think about these people who mean so very much to us, automatically, there are our symbols, our signs telling us that indeed, these people are truly the reason that we went through anything terrible at all with anyone else who is no way associated with the people who hurt us the most and who were also the greatest (harshest) teachers we have ever known or had in our lives.

These new people (and many who are not new and who just happen to happen upon our lives) are the evidence of our awareness, of our paying attention to our symbolism, and about how much we really, really thought well enough of ourselves.  No matter what anyone thinks, the people in our lives are there and there with purpose. They are meant to share with us, and they are also meant to teach us. For those who were treated poorly by someone, the end result has been that the people who show up when we are going through our own healing process are also people who, themselves, need to heal.  The beauty is that, even thought it may seem that you are all somehow out of your minds, you aren’t, but above all, you are with and in the company of people who are worthy of you, of your soul and everything beautiful and magnificent that is contained within it.

The people who mean the very most to us are the ones who seem to show up just in time, who know us without really knowing us, and who seem to be the breather that really no one believes will show up. When they do, it is like being a child again, waiting for the fat guy in the red suit to show up on Christmas morning, except now, the child is an adult, and everyday can be called a reason for childlike, Christmassy excitement.

And hell yes…we all earned whatever it is that we see and feel and know that is within our awareness…no matter what, you brought into your life what you see there now.

Love it…or not…you created it.

Gee…I wonder what else we are all capable of?

Lots….I PROMISE

I LOVE YOU ALL !

ROX


%d bloggers like this: