Tag Archives: addiction

Pack Mentality

Humans beings. We like thinking we are more refined than any other species, but we are not. In fact, we are more like the animals than we want to believe, and more than that, sometimes, we can act like rabid pack animals.

Humans …we allow ourselves to love, to be loved, and lots of the time, it works out.  Other times, we love, and the thing or the people who we love are not as loved as we love them, or perhaps not at all. And lots of us have a problem with this in the manner that is “you either are with us, or you are against us.” This creates within a person an energy that is of panic, and it is such, in the person who has not raised their own level of vibration to the point where they are able to ignore such things (read: demands), that it creates the thought, as well, that if we do not choose to run with the pack, we will be…not might be, not could be but will be…left behind, all alone by ourselves, with no one.

My thought about that is to just let them go….just let them all go.

You are not required, by any means other than what is your own soul’s energy about certain things and ways of being, to follow the crowd, namely if what the crowd is thinking runs against the tide of what is the truth within you.

The Truth Within You

We all have our own moral truths. These are the truths by which we live our daily lives. Sometimes, those truths are not the same as the truth of the many and the many will judge the one whose truth does not match theirs as being the lie. While it might be the energetic opposite of what the pack finds as being its collective truth, it does not mean that it also is required to be your truth. In simpler terms, say you go to lunch with your friends. All of you are thirsty. You all know what you want, you all order what you want. The server comes back with the same drinks, meaning that you did not get what you expected. You do not like what is in front of you. Immediately, you make the server aware of it. The server corrects the mistake. Life goes on.

Yet, lunch with friends is not the best example, even as it is the easiest. When we are talking about the human toll in terms of pack mentality, I am not talking about the toll of human life only. I am talking about the toll of human emotional life and human emotional life is something that too many people do not understand. It is easy to get ourselves involved in a sexy little drama, and easy for us all to draw conclusions based on the opinion of the whole, regardless of the truth …the emotional truth…of the individual.

The Emotional Truth of the Individual

Alrighty…let’s think about this, shall we? Think about the last time that there was something on the news, something that was very, very emotionally charged, where lots of people felt compelled to wrap themselves around a certain individual, love them, support them, only to, a little while later, find out that there were things about that person, or perhaps about an entire situation, that did not match what any one person’s ideal of anyone else, particularly the certain individuals in any given situation, was.

Now imagine that this energy, the emotional truth of the whole, based on the individual truths of each individual in the whole, is compounded by the hurt within each individual being made bigger through the pseudo-support of rallying against the certain individual, because the individuals in the group that is the whole have been fooled, or perhaps parts of the story had been hidden, and in that secrecy there were the things that the certain individuals did not want anyone knowing, but  more than that, things that the whole of individuals might not have wanted to see, let alone be surprised by.

What happens next, typically, is that the hurt individuals within the whole begin to compare their own emotions, their own feelings, through the stories that they have been conjuring…the “what if” and the “Maybe this is how” and really, this is how it all begins, good or bad, needed or not – when the time arises and we are in need of confirmations of how we are feeling about anything at all, and there is an entire population of people who are, all at one time, rallying support and love behind others within their tribe of community, we seek out the nurture of the Tribe.

Unfortunately, sometimes, the Tribe forgets that it is a tribe for a reason, for a common good, for the wholeness that is the family, and ultimately the tribe becomes a pack of rabid animals waiting and watching for the weaknesses in others, waiting to attack anyone whose opinion does not meet or match their own.  Waiting, and watching, as well, for those who will, not just protect the innocent, but more, who choose to not deem what the whole deems as right, as Truth.

Once again…that which is our own truth does not mean it is THE truth…it only means that it is ours

Our opinion of anything at all – in some cases, that is our truth, because it is the truth that we have an opinion, a preference, anything at all, about anything at all- is just that…our opinion. We are allowed by our very human spirit to form and to have an opinion, but not always will that opinion need to be heard or voiced by us. Our opinion is not going to be the same as everyone else’s, and may well run in the opposite direction of the whole’s.  Because we do or do not agree with someone else’s opinion does not make us bad or stupid. It is when we are willing to enforce (yes- ENFORCE and not FORCE) that opinion onto others via the matching opinion of others within the whole that things begin to take on the color of the Pack of Energy Vampires (I can’t call them wolves, because wolves are Sacred animals and wolves are also, in MANY Native American tribal traditions, the symbol for the Pisces…need I say more?).

The Enforcement of the Injected Opinion as Truth

It is not that difficult to lead people to think that one person’s truth, if it is dressed up with the right bunch of words and energies, is the truth of the Pack. It isn’t. Think back to the days of high school, where it was that only opinions mattered. It mattered to us all what others thought, and lots of the time, what others thought compelled us to behave in one manner or another. We either did well enough on our own because we were held as the one person whose opinion matched what might have been the actual truth, or, we were one of the many who, through the matching of that truth to our own, and given that we were not strong enough to vocalize that one truth, we were, at that point, suddenly part of a pack.

Now, think back, too, to that one giant rumor that spread throughout the school, and how, once it was that the truth was found out, that the majority of people who were off and running their mouths with a truth that might have sorta matched their own was no where near the actual truth in regards to what happened in actuality. At that time in your life you probably were glad that you were not the one who had started running your mouth, even though you might have been someone who’d agreed with what was being said. Now think about the people who these things were being said about…

…and now think about the things that were not true about the things that were being said about those people, and think, too, about how much of what was being said was not the truth, but merely the opinion of one person, or perhaps one group of people, and how much of the truth was skewed into the mix of the things that could have been the truth.

Think about the energy that surrounds such things, and think about how much each and every one of us likes being part of anything at all, and more, how much any one of us likes being part of what can be thought as being the “winners’ in a disgustingly nasty, men-involved, almost cat-fight over things that become emotionally heated over an opinion that one person or a mere handful of people voiced and others’ whose opinions were sort of like theirs.

It is not hard to adopt a Pack Mentality

We humans do not like being alone in any manner. I don’t care how many think they like to be exclusively alone, because for the most part, there are not a lot of us on the planet who like being by ourselves all the time,  and this includes in our manner of thoughts and of course, we love it when we are not alone in the opinions that we have about anything at all.

And really, we all love gossip. We love to hear it, and others, to create it, and still many, many more love to spread it, and the original message, the actual story, the things contained within the stories are the very things that get lost in the haze of the he-said-she-said garbage. All the while, lives hang in the balance, and as well, people forget that the more they run their gums, and the less they think about the actual human emotional toll, the more the pack mentality grabs our attention. And, unfortunately, sometimes even us!

It is hard to not let one’s self get wrapped up in the sensationalism, in the taking sides of things, of things that we wonder about, things that we are thinking about anything that is big and ugly and makes us feel like we have to take sides about .

Go ahead…take sides…the one called “your own”

I will not lie – there was a time, many years ago, that I would take sides. Then one day, when it was that both sides seemed to be against me, so to speak, I learned what it was to be the one person whose truth did not match the people or the groups which were having a difference of opinion from me. This taught me that it is not okay to take sides when it comes to things that are of a hurtful nature and that cause others pain that cannot be reversed as quickly as perhaps other things might.

How about trying this? How about putting your own self in another’s shoes for a moment, and ask yourself if you were who was being thought about in the manner that is derogatory and heated by the pack mentality, how might you feel if you were that person? How might you feel if you were that person’s family, friend, child, neighbor, coworker, employer…the list could go on and on…and the things that you have said, speculated, believed, all which may or may not be the truth, are the very things that you have to deal with? How might you feel if you were trusting someone, and they broke that trust, and even as you know the person who did whatever it was to break that trust would not do whatever it was that they have or maybe have not and are only being blamed for it, you chose to take on the energy of the pack?

Pack energy is addictive. 

Pack energy. We all know it well.  I know it really well. Over time, I have had to not only earn being the so-called ‘leader of the pack’ (in terms of The Sisterhood of The Soul…the healing group comprised of myself and a few of my cousins and a few good friends here on the west coast), but had to adopt the idea that what I say impacts all of them. No, what I say isn’t about “what I say- GOES”…it is about being able to represent myself to them, each of them, in the manner that is what I hope they can see in terms of my not wanting to hurt them, my not wanting to hurt the people who they work with, my not wanting to hurt me through hurting them.

In a short time, I have had to take who I thought I was and all on my own, with some help from teachers and therapists, and of course, other healers, my best friends, and the like, and become the best version of me, to this point, that I can manage to be, even with all the challenges I face. I did it. I did not think I could, and for a long time, didn’t want to do what I had to do in order to do what I knew I needed to on my own behalf. Which, easily, was to not get wrapped up in the energy that is joining the opinions of the larger populace in terms of what it is that we can allow ourselves to believe, all on our own, without the influences of others.

It is wise to think on one’s own, simply for the fact that sometimes, the pack is not right. Sometimes, it is your own soul’s leanings that are the truth and are the only truths you need to believe…

I Love You All !

ROX

Soul With Teeth Shark1

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The Masks We Wear

No matter what anyone at all thinks, the masks that we each wear and show people as our truth of who we each are are the very masks which also exclude us from a most important truth about us – our own.

I say it often, that I wear many hats, but I have found that it is a much more comfortable fit without the mask of strength that I had very locked into place. It was merely a mask and one which I no longer wear because the very truth of me is that I am the model of strength. I have to be. I have been through way too much to not be. It is the gift of the Goddess, given to those who have endured, sometimes by choice, and a whole lot of times by our having no choice other than to just basically grin and bear whatever it is that life uses us to teach us with. In my case, I was taught the reality of what is, and what is not Love, in every form, through a lifetime of emotional abuse which led to almost the entirety of my adulthood in a domestically violent situation. The mask I wore throughout this whole time is one that was not a good fit.

Masks are not meant to be permanent fixtures on our heads

We go through our lives believing whatever it is that we are told that we should believe. We see it in every area of life, the idea that the masks we wear are the same as the proverbial hats we are donning at any given time in our lives. What we are not realizing is that hats are different than masks. I wear the hat of “Professional Weirdo,” sometimes, and all of the time, I am wearing the hat bearing the name “Kahuna Wahine,” but never am I required to wear a mask to do any of the things that I do, all of the time.

If you were to look in a mirror while wearing a hat, you would see there in the reflection a likeness of yourself which is the truth of you wearing a hat. However, if you were to don a mask, even while wearing said same hat, the image staring back at you would not be the truth of who you are, because the truth of who you are is remiss to even believe a mask is needed. You see, the truth of who you are is not what you are trying to get the rest of the world to believe is the real you. A person can work out, become the most cut-like-diamonds person that they know and anyone who they know, knows, and behind that person on the outside we might find someone there who is actually scared of not being what it is that they present to the world as themselves.

There is not even a tiny measure of what is true when we are talking about what is on the outside versus what we keep hidden behind the masks that we are choosing to wear. Referring to the cut-like-diamonds thing again, I will say, right now, that it doesn’t matter what it is that the rest of the world is looking at, because what they are seeing is not the real picture of who a person is if they are only looking at what is on the outside. What is on the outside comes from what is on the inside. If what is on the inside is something that we are not very proud of, is something that scares us or is something that we have created and did not realize that what we created is totally NOT the truth of us, hell yes we are going to not want to reveal what lurks beneath the mask which hides our truth if what we have been portraying and silently telling the world is the way we are and more, actually WHO we are.

We cannot hide who we are all the time. Truth tends to seep out when we least expect it to. If we are someone who is scared all the time, and we wear the mask of the tough guy, eventually the tough guy mask, provided that the catalyst to whatever the mask is hiding somehow is forced off by a shedding of tears or a raging of anger that tends to run off at the mouth, falls off. It has to fall off, because it is comprised of something that we cannot continue to think we can repair with the generic bondo known as what is not our truth. When the truth is what we need to know, and we choose to continue to hide behind what we think makes us seem to be the cat’s okole, but in reality, we know is NOT the truth, the mask, eventually, falls to pieces.

The mask is eventually found to be just what it is meant to be – a facade which hides the truth. What no one who chooses to hide behind their mask wants to believe is that no matter what, their truth will be known, no matter what it is, and no matter how it is perceived – the truth only stays hidden as long as we are willing to suffer what is the mask and all of its sweaty stuffiness which always causes us to gasp for the air, to try hard to breathe and to be, all while hiding behind something that we think keeps us safe from our very own truth.

Behind your mask is not where the safety of the truth is at

You can wear your mask until you feel comfortable taking it off, but in the time that will pass between the wearing of it and the shedding of it, while you might recognize that which is the truth of others, you will not know what is your own truth, and you will become short of the credibility that you, yourself, are trying so hard to have and to maintain, but it is difficult to do that when the hands that you are meant to use for the right things are holding up this mask that is covering up the things that you do not want anyone to see, namely you.

You might think that you are safe there, but it is almost like being in a nightclub where the bouncers really are only there to protect the owners of the club and not the patrons. This is the same energy that you will end up having if you are not willing to drop the act that you would not like if someone else were running this same game on you. You would not like knowing the truth of anyone else if what you believed all along was what you thought you could. No one likes being lied to, and no one likes being told something about anything at all if it means that they are going to end up looking foolish after the fact and after they have run their mouths about how great it is that you (insert way cool thing here) and then end up finding out that you had your mask on all along and that the cool person who you kept on telling everyone you are is nothing more than what everyone else is, too.

The thing which puts it all into perspective for us is when we have to deal with something particularly painful in that, when the painful thing started, that mask went on and never came off. It was like the one thing you thought you needed that you totally did not need. What you needed, you will find out if you have not already, was the ability to accept the truth, period, of anything, and about anyone, namely when it pertains to you. If someone else has a truth that pertains to you and it is not something that makes you look like that mask, people are going to start wondering about you, and then one day, they will not wonder anymore because they will know about the truth that you refuse to show the world. And really, the most beautiful thing in the world at all is the moment that we choose that the mask we have worn for so long is no longer something that is needed.

We get tired of the weight of the mask, and we get tired of the responsibility that we think we have to keep up appearances so that the rest of the world will accept this false version of ourselves. We never needed the masks. What we needed was the ability to face the truth, and in all of the madness that we humans seem to think is the right way and the right thing to do, we forgot that we were actually wearing a mask. We thought our mask was the truth of who we were or are, and that is the furthest thing from anything resembling the truth.

The truth is that a vulnerable you is a better version of the you who lives behind the mask. The vulnerable you is the real you, is the you who cannot take on anymore pain, and surely enough cannot deal with the weight of carrying the charade on forever. Some folks are awesome at the game of Charades, but that is just a game and in our lives we have to be able to glean the truth from others simply and only because we want the truth for ourselevs, as well. If we cannot see the truth, and cannot understand why certain truths exist, we cannot believe for a moment that somehow the mask that we choose will be the thing that will make us see what is the truth as it pertains to us.

When we bother with who we really are, rather than thinking that what everyone sees on the outside as being the only truth, we will know at that point the importance of being who we are, not for the benefit of the world, but for our own benefit. A person can run in circles trying to get people to take what is their mask as also being their truth. That same person can also and one day want to see the actual light that emanates from within them and that person will willingly take away the part of them that they think is the truth. This is a person who is also well on their way to their own Spirit’s healing, because of everything that we are each and all made up of, the truth is the one thing that we cannot deny and yes, it is also the very thing which in reality, we are made of.

We are all self-made in that, whatever it is that we think is our truth, this is the mask, or the reality, of who we really are. Who we really are is priceless and meant for a specific and grand purpose that only the Goddess knows about – we don’t even get to know what we are supposed to do until we are met with something or someone or both which will cause us to take cautious measure and don a mask. Some of us have to wear that mask for decades until one day, the mask cuts us off from the life-giving truth that is the air that the Soul breathes.

So pretty much…take the damned mask off already, and treat yourself to the fresh air called the truth.

No matter which way you look at it, the mask can either be taken off, or, one day, it will just fall off…and what will you do then, when your truth – the real truth that you have hidden behind that mask all this time…falls apart?

Think about it….

I Love You All !!

ROX 

 

1_I_JUST_WANNA_DANCE_MEME 1_MEDICINE_DANCE_BOOK_COVER_RANDY JAY BRAUN

“Medicine Dance,” and “Chick Wisdom” – both coming soon to lulu.com !

In the meantime, check out my soul brother, Randy Jay Braun’s camera artistry….click here and then on “shop” to visit the “Women of Hula” page!


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