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What Gilligan Didnʻt Teach You


The Mountain is enraged…and there are lots of spiritual reasons why

Hawaii Maolis – we LOVE our mountains….LOVE them – even the dormant ones.

The photo is of Kilauea, and the deity is none other than the one that the world knows the very most about – The Goddess of the Volcano – Madame Pele.

Most of us Maolis call her “Mama Pele” and mostly “Tutu Pele” and either way it matters. Respect is a big deal to #AllUsGuys…respect….Maolis everywhere are BIG on it, no matter which island nation we originate from. It doesnʻt matter. The thing that we are the most aware of is respect, and more than that, the other thing that we are MORE aware of is blatant DISrespect.

That thing that all workers in the weird know….the Rede

I Am Kahuna Wahine. 

I Am every BIT what I tell people I Am, which is KAHUNA.

I DO NOT surf, and I know that this is one of the very FIRST things that pops into the heads of a whole lot of people who we share the air with and to anyone who thinks this way I am writing this particular blog on your behalf because it is to you guys who this is most directed at.

And how you decide to take my words and what you decide to do with them is all on you – I Am but the messenger.

And I dare this moment, at least for those of us Kahu whose lives are lived with the greatest depth of Aloha on #TheRockin9th, to speak for us all when I state to you that you really, really need to hoʻonānā – PAY ATTENTION.

No…and in no way, shape or form am I addressing my other half who KNOWS and HAS KNOWN that Gilligan never had it correct….

Gilligan is a fictional character who lived on a fictional island with fictional islander savages who Gilligan did not know was there because Gilligan came from a culture that did not know that other people existed outside of their race. When it was that they encountered these “savages,” like everything that is assumed about #AllUsGuys is incorrect, and now, where it is that people are in a serious panic about Ka Mauna ….about the caldera which we Maoli the world over know only as Mama, as Tutu Pele, and yeah…hell yeah…

…and the biggest equalizer against racial and cultural division.

When you tell Hawaiian people that they ought to just get over who we are and stop “forcing” our culture on yours and you do so when you are LIVING ON OUR LAND (yeah….OUR HOMELAND…) and you publicly make it known that you believe yourself to be above the people whose Aloha you have abused?


She is PISSED!

And not just at those who are the originators of the phrase You people , but at our own people, as well, for denying that some of the things that have gone on in Hawaii and have been imparted onto na keiki o kaʻaina – the children of the land (ummm duh…. HAWAII MAOLI…keep reading…) is deplorable and even though I know and we all know that it is technically the 50th “state,” the thing that was forgotten about and has been ignored for generations is this thing called Aloha.

Yes, even some of our own people – NA KANAKA MAOLI of HAWAII – even some of our own, who ought to know better ACT LIKE THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH OUR TUTU PELE.

Ask your local Kahuna

I have been asked, several times, online and when I was on campus this past week, the thing that I think about what those ….leilani estate….dwellers….are going through, and far be it from me and who I am to NOT tell those who ask my truth because my Truth is NOT what people expect from me when it is not pretty or breathy or seemingly somehow a tale of weirdness that only someone like me could link two things together and come up with a theory that is not only fitting, but is actually the very truth.

The very truth is that Mother Nature, in all of her glory, is right now fighting with people who felt like they could outrun the mountain, and no humans, no you cannot. I see this as sort of something that can be called symbolic of the human propensity towards bravery in the face of actual danger, and arrogance in that same manner. And unfortunately, for those who have remained in their stance in terms of who owns what and where, this is called Karma, called sowing what was reaped even if it was not you who planted the seeds of hubris, of not giving a damn about the reality of living on Sacred ground.

When we live with our feet planted on ground that, for all of the wrong reasons, we claim as being ours, and we ignore that twinge of energy we feel when we state these things (and who would not have those twinges if they were not already aware of the things that we, Na Kanaka Maoli, those who I regard and have titled a book called Ka Poʻe O Ka Wai – The People of The Water … are aware of, in terms of Tutu Pele, Mama Pele, Baby Girl Hiʻiaka….those of us who are aware of these things have been telling their stories for all of our lives.

You chose to ignore us.

You chose property “rights” over what is right and good, and now through your panic you believe that somehow, you are the victim. This may be tangible the truth, but, it is not rocket science – when you live near an active volcano, there is the chance that it will blow and for the most part while it is the truth regarding sea floor activity, what is also the truth is that the world of Spirit has had ENOUGH !

The Spirits have had enough of us, of our hubris, of the things that divide us. Tutu Pele is now letting the world know that no matter how big a deal any human being believes themselves to be, there is still the mountain, and the mountain is bigger than all of us are. The mountain is now on fire, and the mountain is now putting people to task, and daring them to dare her, one more time, and telling us all that no matter what, nature rules, and nature defines the rules, and that no mere human has the ability to go against it – even though your holy book told of a giant named Goliath – you are not the guy who took down the giant, and no matter what – if you went ahead and bought property there, I am certain that I am not the only one who is saying it, but I KNOW I am the only one with the guavas to say it publicly….or rather, ask it publicly – what the hell were you thinking when you bought that land, and why were you so inclined to believe that Tutu would spare you from her rage?

Where in your own history books was it found there that anyone beat the volcano, and why would you believe such garbage? You are not more than the mountain, and that really is what this is about for a lot of people the world over who I share ancestry with – when was it at all anything that sounds like common sense to live somewhere that you KNOW you have the chance at DYING and LOSING EVERYTHING?

But that is neither here nor there if you are one of those….Hawaiian Kahuna….

We know what is happening, and we are not being quiet about it, at least within certain circles. The reason why it is that we are not online until this moment and telling the world that is not only ours about how we feel is because it wonʻt matter anyway, because you have all been gilliganized ….and donʻt hurt yourself over trying to pronounce it. It is the thing that, for most of my life, people have believed is somehow the truth, in small part, of Hawaiians…hell – of indigenous people, no matter where, when, why….

…that we are savages, that the majority of us needed to be rescued from our “heathen” gods and the ways that would send us to the pit of their specific godʻs hell.

The truth is uglier than that…and that truth does not apply to anyone…Maoli…because haha….apparently, the things that I have seen on television look exactly like the hell that I was told about all those years in church, being told that this was my destiny, because that is the way that my momʻs god said it would be…or at least that is what the missionaries told us was the truth. 

And you …all of you people…you act like it was not ever going to happen to you, whatever it was that was sset aside for people like m yself, where only the rules of your god applies and where the rules of our Tutu in the caldera donʻt count, donʻt matter, because your gods told you not to worry, and told you that we were the wrong ones and that instead of realizing that you are all strangers in a strange and magickal land…you brought your hatred towards things that are not like you, and you brought your ways that scathed the land, shaved it of its decency in exchange for the value of land according to foreigners who know the value of things and love the way that the value of their things makes them feel next to those people who have no things….

I harbor no ill will towards those who have lost “everything” but, also, I implore all of you – are you certain that you lost “everything?” or is it that you lost what you thought you owned, when really, no one “owns” anything on this planet, and what you are each and all being shown is that you dared your life into being, and then you dared the mountain. In her words today, in an opinion piece entitled Canʻt Fight Pele by Jasmin ʻIolani Hakes, the author states that she is “local enough to know you donʻt fight Pele.”

This is not something that is lost on ALL MAOLIS – we know that there are things in this world that we CAN fight, but more than that, we are taught, at a very young age, to know when it is that we have no chance – we were all raised, even #AllUsGuys on this side of the water, with common sense and a very primal respect for Nature and everything in it, to know that we are a part OF and not apart FROM it, and most of all, at any time, Nature can and does change the course of Life, as much as She is doing so now, in the form of the mountain who we all know as the beautiful violence called Tutu Pele. 

Like all Tutu….this Tutu Lady also doesnʻt play nice, and all Kanaka Maoli KNOW the ways which she reveals herself to us…a white canine, a small child, and an old white haired woman. No matter what – you donʻt mess with her, in any manner, no matter the way that she shows herself to you. Right now, she is Tutu, and she is PISSED. 

Meaning that you have been brought to the end of “it wonʻt happen to me” because from all of the video footage it is totally happening to you, and there are not a whole lot of Maolis who are very up in arms about it at all right now, that there are a lot of people who are ….colonial…who are presently losing everything that they own…and not one of them is bothering to see the message that is loud and clear.

The message that is loud and clear is that after all these generations, the truth is that the mountain knows who is true and who is there only because property values and because you wanted to live in paradise and perhaps thought that the volcano would not blow her stack at any time in your lifetime (even though you stated, maybe, that it would be a great place to raise kids…of course it is – HAWAII IS AWESOME ….but how could you have been thinking about your kids when you placed them in the path of THE VOLCANO FLOW and had the NERVE to call it HOME????).


Then there are the other ones who ought to have known better and who, even though those “officials” KNEW BETTER and were RAISED IN THE LIGHT OF ALOHA….still, you folks – you STILL lined your pockets with pride in dollar value and YOU STILL did like so many others who are in higher positions have done and you took a very DEAR advantage of those whose cultural interests you were meant to protect, even taking AN OATH…and an oath in tribal cultures is like blood traded between brothers of the spiritual sort – you do not, under any circumstance, break that oath.

Many, many officials did just that.

Broke promises to the people of the ʻAina.

The thing that is loudest and clearest is that we need to get our levels of integrity to what they ought to be, because in the world of Spirit – Integrity is currency, and cannot be had by trading it with anything OTHER than what is itself in its purest form. 

When there is a lack of a certain energy, it will be felt and seen within the confines of humanity. When this same lack is regarded as a passing thing and believed to be able to right itself on its own, and when mere humans decide for nature and for other humans the world over, specifically when certain humans of a certain level ought to know better, and when those humans decide to do things all “in the name of the aloha spirit” and those humans know that they are full of crap – strange things happen that capture our attention globally.

Are you paying attention yet??

Are you, humans, paying attention yet? Allow Tutu Pele to be the thing that tells you when you are not being everything that you say you are, which, when it is that you regard things like Sacred ground to simply Be just “property” and when it is that that Sacred ground is cried about as if you did not know what could happen and is now happening and when it is that you think you can outrun the mountain and find that the sea is as pissed off, I would imagine that it would be, at that point, no matter who you are or where you are or what your excuse will be next as to why it is that you thought you would be spared from her wrath and her path (because you are so cool and groovy like that that it would make sense that Pele would sense your greatness alone and part her path for you….hahahahahahah WHATEVAHS) …you werenʻt.

We see you, all of you who are now worried about others in your own culture and race capitalizing on your loss, and we see your heartache and while it is that not a whole lot of others are going to ask you what you are already thinking about….indeed, what were you thinking about when you bought your little piece of paradise? Not too many Hawaiians can afford to live in the part of the path of lava that is being eaten alive as I write this. If you want to believe that some part of me is laughing at your pain, please think again.

I donʻt laugh at tragedy. The biggest tragedy is that you opted to not listen, and created more of this energy of people of my race not able to buy a house where we have ethnic ties but, good gravy and goddess bless your man god for making certain that somehow, you would do like your ancestors did and make it so that we would, from those places covered in tarps, and those places where only the people who have been there their entire lives live – in tent cities along the shoreline, not only by choice, for lots of them, but because MOST OF THEM HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE, and there you are, on the news, not even thinking that these people are GENERATIONALLY THERE and you just sort of showed up and bought land that could have served the needs of the culture rather than the egoʻs need to know that it “owns” property on the Big Island of Hawaii and the bankerʻs need to show his numbers – and none of you thought about the natural dangers.

But, lots of you want folks like me to care, and I am certain that there are some who do but for the most part, the reason it might seem like we do NOT care is not that we do not care but that we are wise enough not to dare things in the world of spirit.

We were taught from the time that we were young, the very all of us, to believe in the unseen world, to believe what we sense and to know that what we are feeling in the body first was in the soul and was delivered to us on the wings, literally, of birds, butterflies and creatures of flight…yes, even way over here on #TheRockin9th, where the geese and their flight pattern has been a mess for months. We were taught to live WITH nature, not APART from it, knowing that we are and will always remain as PART OF IT.

Too many people from this side of the water, with their degrees and their pride on paper are the sort who believe that “it wonʻt happen” to them, and then when it does, they behave as though they did not know it could or more, they believed that it, no matter what “it” is, would not happen to them. They might have believed that they might have passed into the next world by this time, or might have believed like many have in the past – that since it has been “quietly” active for a while, that it would remain to be so, at least in their own lifetime on this planet.

Where are your thoughts about what it is to be part of a world that was not yours and what was it that you thought would be acceptable in terms of who is, and who is not, part of those islands, and more, when was it that anyone with an illness would be spared by the mountain and when was it that anyone saw anyone Hawaii Maoli living that close to the caldera?

When was it that anyone ever really thought that anything at all would spare them? When was it that anyone at all would live to tell about the mauna coming alive in this lifetime, there and real and ready to eat those homes …those….estates… named “Leilani” which….no one knows that that is NOT EVEN an ACTUAL ANCESTRAL name and was one made up by a descendant of a colonist to name his colonial kid with.

Foʻ real….go look it up, the actual origins of that specific name, and find out that I Am correct.

I would have to be…I Am one of those Maolis with an outrageously long middle name and of course I passed that name on to my only daughter (with permission, naturally, and in keeping with the tradition of tribal peoples ALL OVER THE PLANET and NOT ONLY NA KANAKA MAOLI….from my Aumakua – the woman who granted permission to my mother to name me after her…..her being my Grandmother. Please, keep reading). I Am one of those people who is of the ancestry which I Am and Am here to tell the world that there is a lot more to all of this exploding mountain top than what we are being told and are seeing.

All Hawaiians know….as Hakes stated, you do not turn your back on the ocean, and you cannot ever forget that while you can command people and animals, you cannot command nature, and if you can, I promise that you are not someone who is out and about telling the rest of human life that you have this ability – and yes, there are lots of people who have this ability and no they are not part of some government thing…they are what are called Shaman…. no matter what, trust Nature to take care of you.

But trust, too, that there are people among us who dared believe that things that are of a natural nature somehow behave according to the rules of man and commerce and no, no they do not.

People all over the place who never considered themselves as part OF and not apart FROM the natural world are learning very quickly that when you piss off an old woman, the world pays attention….

I suppose that you might hoʻonānā now, yeah???










1_Angels whispering in your ear.jpg

Lately, a whole lot of us are being nudged in a new direction for who we each and all are. Or, we are being given cues to the reasons as to why we have been through so much…

We can believe that we are all alone on this planet, and in a few certain ways we would each and all be absolutely right.

We are alone.

We are alone in our bravery, because no one else can be brave for us – we have to do that all on our own. I suppose that after everything that I have experienced over the course of time that has passed is nothing short of daunting but, the bottom line is that there are things that I have dealt with that should have taken me out, not just of the ball game but out of my body, as well.

Yet, here I sit, still, doing the things that I am supposed to be doing, right this moment in time in my life and while it is that there are a lot of things that I could pitch a serious bitch about, the thought in my head, ever since last Sunday is anything even NEAR defeat and if it is anything to anyone at all who cares to believe anything else about anyone else, I urge you to really think about one thing…who are you more bothered by, or, conversely, WHAT are you bothered by that someone else has told you will happen?

And really, why is it that you believe that they have that much power to begin with?

Letʻs put it this way, shall we? The only time that anyone can scare, harm, control anyone else, ever, is when we let them do that. You see, for a lot of years, there has been this underlying current in my life that is not so underlying. The reason that I would call it this is because when I thought about it in terms of what it meant in the tangible sense, it hurt.

Oh…it hurt, but, not for the reason that I am certain the person or people who orchestrated it all were thinking that maybe I was not being complacent, and that even more importantly, I made certain that, at least in my circle and in my family – and there are 8 of us – we decided, together and a while back, that it was time to move on.

I am certain that there are people who will read this and who will have lots and lots to say about it after the fact and those words will sound like “…yeah right….” and really, I probably no longer care because the frank truth is that trying to get anyone else to believe you after they have fixed themselves on who you are that paints an ugly picture of you (and allows that it is ok for them to slander you, defame you, just be shitty when your name comes up) ….well guys…bottom line there is that it is not YOUR problem, but theirs.

It is not yours to deal with…you just gotta not care…

I have been practicing one phrase and am finding out that I am being truthful when I say “I donʻt give a shit,” and “I donʻt care…one little bit.” I mean every word that I say, every time that I say anything at all. I mean it when I tell someone anything because I know what it is like to believe what you are told, only to have those things not happen for you. I know what it is like to believe that someone loves you, only to have them fail you in a very big way.  By this I mean that it is easier for people to believe the ugly things about who we are than it is to believe the good things that we each and all know exists within the majority of the human race.

Now….go with me here, would ya?

You and your people are all part of the human race. By “your people” I absolutely mean your family, and no, it is not theirs to make a judgment about who you are, just as much as it is not yours to make that same judgment on them. Even as this is the truth, and even though (indeed) this is not only what I have taught my kids (all of them, including the ones who call me “Auntie” and the ones who I refer to as being my “Hanai” or adopted kids), this is also the only way of being that they know, these very kids, where I am concerned.

Parents have a HUGE kuleana – and that kuleana is to teach our kids to be as good to themselves at least as much as they are expected to be good and kind to other people. When those other people are not good to them, we have make sure that our kids know that there is the option to no longer have those others  or their energies as part of their life experience. We are seeing it a lot in the news, how it is that legions of people just expect kids to follow what they have been taught, but, the truth is that, to my knowledge and from what I have seen with my own two eyes, there are still people who think that they get to tell anyone else what they get to do and who they get to be, including what it is and what it is NOT that anyone will be…*ahem*… taught...

What people have been taught versus learning what one must learn

When we place our people to “go up against” anyone elseʻs people, we are already in a place of fear.

Fear is learned.

Fear is a feeling that causes a person to feel like they are  in danger. When our beliefs about anything at all become threatened, and when it is that we feel like we will be expected to not challenge someone elseʻs beliefs about who we are for real is when we will, through our bravado, end up showing people what we are scared of, and it will typically come out as an all out attack on whoever or whatever it is that is the perceived threat.

To what, I have no idea.

Does not matter because it does not change that one thing…that fear is learned.

It is.

The only ones that we have biologically are related with the fear of being eaten by a dinosaur, or, more modernly, being bitten by a venomous creature, and of course other things that are completely out of our control within the natural world. Outside of that, we are conditioned to fear things, specifically what other people could do to us. By “do to us” I am saying that we are worried about what other people will say to us that will hurt us, that will cut us up inside, and that more than anything else, we will be witness to. No one thinks about it that way – that what we also witness will have an impact on us. While this does not mean that we have to walk on eggshells, it does mean that it is wise for us to think about the entire picture, and not only what we believe to be “our side” of things.

When we have what is known as “our side” of anything, what we are already doing is causing division. When we are trying to heal from things that have lay claim to property in our thoughts and in our lives through those thoughts, we cannot decide whose “side” we are. There are no “sides” when it comes to Love, when it comes to healing – we are either all in or not even bothering. There are no two ways about it.

We either want things to be better for all involved, or we donʻt. We either want to make things better for the lives of those who are indirectly affected, or we donʻt. We either want to realize the repercussions, or, we simply do not give a damn about what our actions and words will do to affect who and how. We have been taught to win, that if we do not win, then that means that we lose. No one tells us that we do not have to play someone elseʻs game and neither do they tell us that we are even playing. They just assume things, and when we make those things not happen, they do one of two things – they either leave it be, or, they throw more heat on it.

Typically, people will throw more heat on it. Which is all ego, because it is complicated, and when things are complicated, it means that they have to have an explanation. When things are guided by Spirit, things just tend to fall right into place like puzzle pieces. What I Am experiencing right now is NOT what I assume anyone else thought I would. This is because this time, when I was harmed, and when I saw what was of real importance to anyone at all, I chose to take myself out of a game played between an ego, and a soul…

…between an ego and a Soul…

Our ego tells us that we are supposed to be better than someone else, because if we are not first, then we are second, or last. I have no idea what seems to forbid us, OTHER THAN biological impulse, from being part of something, rather than trying to think that we are better than everyone else within a certain mile radius might think that they are. I have no idea what seems to make us believe that we have to be better than anyone else, when what is the most important thing is to everyday try hard to be a good human being without being bad to ourselves. We are not taught to be good to ourselves. We have been taught to sacrifice everything we have and everything we are to ourselves, and we are supposed to, expected to do this for the betterment of the lives of others. When we need people to listen, they do not want to hear what is our ache – they only care about what is theirs, only care about what they will appear as to anyone else and in that regard – to hell with everyone else.

We are taught this so no one else has to be uncomfortable with a truth that they, themselves, did not create, most of the time unconsciously and through the things that tell more than their words, which are their actions. 

We are taught that if other people are not comfortable with our presence, that it is a bad thing and that how they feel is our fault, other than a thing that is simply and only different, and most importantly (no matter what your lovely grandmother told you…I promise you her intentions were all good…) we cannot ever forget one true thing – even within the same family, there is never the guarantee that we are going to be each othersʻ kind of people. We are all very unique, we humans are, but at the same time, there are things that are similar and generally the same for us all.

For the most part, people are generally all and always looking to do one thing – not get harmed.

Think about it.

Every person who you know is trying hard to do two things:

  1. Not get harmed and
  2. Not create harm for anyone else


There is no guarantee that this is going to happen, either way, and it can and has been, for every person on this planet, the same experience of being harmed and harming, intentionally or otherwise. It is a human thing, to do this, each of us, until we learn to do otherwise.

The other thing that we are not guaranteed is that we will get along with our blood relations. I look back on my own life to this point and there is one thing that has never been otherwise in my lifetime, and that is for the most part, I have always felt like I have been apart from, rather than a part of, the families into which I was born. It does not matter who feels like I am wrong – this is my feeling, and I Am allowed to feel it, no matter who feels like I donʻt have that right.

This is called MY Truth.

Please do not question it.

I donʻt question anyoneʻs…I do not have that right.


If it is not obvious to anyone, we are being nudged towards those who are best suited to our lives, and more, being shown who is meant to stay there. More than that, those who are supposed to be there will still be there, even if they are not there right now – donʻt sweat it. It is supposed to be this way and is this way so that you each and all can finish healing parts of your Selves that, while those others are still in our lives, we cannot heal, because we are having such a great time with these others that we forget – there is work to be done, mostly on ourselves.

And we all know that self-work sucks.

Self-Work sucks okole….big bambucha kine okole….(if you wanna know what that means, hit me up…lol…)…but, it is also the very most worthy work of all.

It is not the sort of work where the pay is in the real – the pay is the better version of yourself, but, first you have to pay attention to your lessons.


The funny thing about lessons is that, haha…we are never aware of them, ever. I do not give a ratʻs ass about it if you think and perhaps have convinced yourself that you DO know …you donʻt. You wonʻt until you have learned the lesson. A lesson is that thing that keeps on showing up in our lives and sucks, and once it is learned, it does not suck anymore. I have a hard time with letting people out of my life, believing that I am why they are mad with me or disagree with me or flatly just think I am lying. When I think further about it, I realize that unless I hear from them, I do not hear from them, ever, and for anyone to pass judgment on anyone else at all, one must know who those others are NOW and not go back in time and disallow people the growing they have done since that time has passed.

People change and learn and we grow. We tend to be apart from others, NOT because we are being taught what it will be like to live without them, at least not all of them. We are being taught about who we are, being shown by them who they believe we are in their lives. Who we are to anyone is not up to us. This is why we are being nudged as we are, being prodded and sometimes outright told to get the fuck out…because we are seeing who is and more, who is totally so not, our kind of people. Other people, namely relative people, even me…we all have this thing in our heads called a memory, and by that memory of the last good thing that we were to anyone is also that other one – the last BAD thing that we were…typically this is where people who want to divide, conquer and control others – and always, people remember bad stuff (again, even me) that has been said of us, but especially our blood relations.

They are who we share just about everything with up to a point in our lives when we are young, and sometimes even well into adulthood. And all the while, and this is where I differ from a LOT of people I share DNA and a grandmother with ….people are just kept in that place, in that memory, where what and who you were a long time ago is who you are all the time. This is so not fair. It is like they are telling you that it is okay that they have become who they are (in accordance with the unspoken familial expectations) but that you who has chosen to be your truest self (and to hell with what everyone “blood” thinks of who you are) does not have that same right because it goes against everything that they have believed about you and everything about you from the time that you guys were tiny little kids. …even the way that you believe in your gods.

Rigidly….thatʻs how.

While it is nice that you have been following this theory and that religion and this here belief, the bottom line is that no, you have not been. You have been touting it, and selling it, and making believe with it, but you are not really living it. More appropriately, you have been studying those disciplines and making parts of them your own, because that is the only way that our brains can comprehend things – by right of the person who is using them, and NOT by a textbook.

You can sit there and tell people that they are sinning, that they are going to burn in your momʻs godʻs hell but the bottom line is that you are judging others, and that ainʻt cool. You are telling people to get out of their own comfort level and you are making an ass out of yourself the whole time and you do not even realize that the thing that makes you believe that you are bound to them for life is that thing that flows through your veins and is thicker than water.

It can be as thick as mud but the truth of the mud is that it, too, needs water. Water is the thing of life…not just blood, and certainly not the life giving or taking opinion of blood relatives. Ever. Even as this is not about our relatives it is about our emotional and soul ailments and it is the truth that some conditions are passed down genetically, and one of those things …lots of those things are familial habits that need to be changed so that everyone is included.

Since we know that this is never going to happen all the way (refer to that whole “not each othersʻ kind of people” thing I mentioned) and that we know that those who are closest to us know us the best, this does not mean that it is our blood who knows us the best, meaning that it is also not our blood which we can trust the most, as much as we can trust that water is water, and that everyone needs it.

Even blood.

Just sayinʻ.

The Bottom Line Truth…

The bottom line truth is that we are not ever meant to stay in the families that we are born into, and that if it has taken this long for anyone at all to have taken the time to hoʻoponopono things within oneʻs own family unit and to reconcile within that unit that it is time to take ourselves and our lives elsewhere, and no one else wants to believe it, that, again, is not our fault.

We are only assumed things about, and it seems, at times, because it is the truth – ignorance is truly bliss for some, namely those arrogant enough to go to the past to see what it is that someone is going to do in the future. That is not giving credence to now, this moment, where everyone actually lives.

Now is what matters.

Now is where you are being this you, not the you who everyone decided a long time ago that you would always be.

Let them have that you in their memories, where all of you belongs – as a memory.

It is not yours to decide if you will be a good memory, or a lesson that they have yet to learn

Think about it.






Safe Places Article CPTSD Blog

There is only one Science of Getting…

I have not written in a very long time.

This morning I was online looking at the books I have downloaded over the last couple of months as a means to privately study the science behind lots of things, but truly and specifically, the Science of Attraction…and no, not the dating sort.

The getting of the stuff sort, because apparently, it is the stuff in our lives that matter, rather than the process of getting those things.

We donʻt think that way. I wish we did, on the one hand, because then we would see evidence of this sort of process happening at all times. On the other hand, with the way that too many humans still believe the ego is what we are meant to live from that from the Divine within us is why I am sort of glad that it is not, because the rampant ability towards growth that each of our own egos have…yea, even mine. We are not meant, in our egos, to be limitless, but that is where we are, the majority of us – hoping that someone elseʻs way is going to be the right way that we ought to make our lives great. It isnʻt that way. They can be the model and the inspiration for the hope for better things, but, without our own hands being in the mix, NOTHING CHANGES.

By our own hands in the mix, I mean that in every way possible, you have to be able to accept the good and the bad, no matter what – this is called balance and without it, our lives cannot be great. We cannot be balanced if we are hanging on to what are the truths of other people and at the same time expect them to see OUR greatness. This is made more concrete to us on the singular level when we choose to believe that we are limited by what others tell us, rather than that we are limitless and that once we accept this much as much as we accept the shit we do not like, we realize and are shown a WHOLE LOT MORE.

We do not realize our limitless nature, do not realize that we are made of the same stuff of dreams and that we are not here by mistake – only a fucking idiot would think that way. 

I figured there must be some sort of something to this…getting of the stuff stuff…and since it is that mine is that mind that tears things apart while in thought mode, and more – I KNOW I Am that One Person in my Own Life who actually does what I teach…thatʻs right – I actually walk my talk, and no one else can say that I do not…and there is only one way to do all this…getting of the stuff stuff… which is paying attention to oneʻs own life patterns.

Oneʻs Own Life Patterns

There is a science, you realize, behind getting what it is that you have in your life, and lots of it is done unconsciously. We want to believe that we are on top of things all of the time but the truth is that we are more inclined to be in denial of things than we are more preferring to fix our own lives and make the world a very much better and brighter place to be -for ourselves before anyone else. I actually ought to think to listen to my friends at school, the ones who are telling me that I Am what I do not realize I Am, or at least, at this point, what my mind cannot accept, due to the evidence all around me that can only be called failure.

What they tell me that I Am is nothing short of brilliant, and that is on the basic side of things. I did nothing more than be me. I guess I will just keep doing that and fuck anyone else who tries to fix me without realizing I am doing that just fine on my own WITHOUT help….and without those things that remain as ʻfailures” for longer than those things need to be my medicine, my teacher and my lesson in things that I need to do for me, so that I can do for others.

Stepping away from those “failures” we see one true thing:

If there is a script that anyone at all ought to follow, it is the following, because it marks our acceptance of things that we would rather not deal with. When we are not wanting to deal with something it is because we have created the most impossible thing in our own minds to overcome and ALL OF IT IS RELATED TO THE ENERGY OF SHAME and GUILT.

When we are willing to feel guilty for longer than it takes us to correct the behavior, it is that point when we will begin, just so you know, MORE OF THAT SAME THING SO THAT WE CAN RECOGNIZE IT AND WORK IT OUT OF BEING IN OUR SELVES. We truly are our own and only saving grace…that script is as follows, and yes, you can insert your own truths into it. It all is the same for us all. In it are the truths that we need to get a little hint as to what it is that we ought to be looking at, and I promise you each and all that what we are looking at has NOTHING TO DO WITH OTHER PEOPLE and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH OUR IMBALANCE OF PERCEPTION OF WHO WE ARE ACCORDING TO OUR OWN SOUL:

“There is a pattern of behavior that is apparent and is mine to deal with because it is my behavior. My behavior is something that lots of people cannot connect with the me who they know (always loving and sweet and not letting things outside of herself bother her) versus the real me and the me who no one wants to know, apparently, because that me is still wondering when it was that she was meant to be anything OTHER than super-human strong. I Am only strong because I have bothered to face the bullshit, and more, only bothered to inject myself into my own problems that were outside of me to see where it was that the missteps were made.”

Acknowledgement is never easy BUT, acknowledgement makes things easier to face in the future, and therein is where the treasures are at.


And in my life it was needed.


I was terrified, NO, not of living without that creep, and NO, not with the thought in my head that without his money, his name, the kids, whatever, I was not going to be all that I Am now, which is no longer afraid of him. 


Not even if I saw him.

I thought I saw him a couple of weeks ago, but, that is neither here nor there – I sometimes forget about the male ego and well, that guyʻs ego is so big it has blinded him to the idea that it is actually what caused this part of his life, no matter where it is being lived right now. Getting back to my point, the way that I was my own problem in that issue and at that time in my life – a time that comes to an absolute end real soon here within the next few weeks for me – was through the terror that that insane fool would make good on every word he spoke to me, to my parents, to our kids, to anyone regarding what it was that made us all scared of him.

Pretty much, rather than allowing what that asshole did, said, threatened with…in choosing the unknown over the …pseudo-comfort…of the known…I chose bravery over fear, once and for all, and it made all of the difference in the world for me, and ultimately, ALL the people in my life.

I get to be the me who I Am now….and all because I created a situation that would allow it. I took right action, and the right thing is happening, because I am no longer that personʻs spouse.

Truly, in looking back, I never was – I was there as an idea of what it was that that person thought it was supposed to look like, without it being the thing that it was for real. What it was for real was a lie to begin with, because that moron thought he owned me. He created that reality for himself through the ego, by means of competing with everything that was outside of himself, when in reality, he was competing with me, that whole time, for nothing more than being right…essentially in his fucked up thoughts – winning, at all costs. This is called “using people to get things” and in his case, that “thing” was control over all of us.

That fool never had control of his own emotional or mental self, and I know now that I always did.

Not the truth in Self

When we are shown who we are not by people who want us to see who we are, because who we are or who they tell us that we are in that moment is what helps THEIR cause, and they are without that same energy for anyone else, this is when we can guarantee that the ego – NOT THE TRUTH IN SELF – is what is in command. And the more that we allow this much, the more that we tell ourselves to believe those ugly things about us. The “proof” comes to us, but not in the manner that we think it is coming to us which is someone ultimately to satisfy our egos rather than in the manner it actually shows up – through the example that is anyone else who is upset with us. This is the biggest lie that we are willing to tell ourselves.

Worse than that, it is also the one that we choose to believe the most and for the longest time. 

We tell this particular lie to ourselves when we tell other people things that we think they want to hear, and most of the time we do this so that we can buy time, and when we need to buy time, it means that something that is not conducive to who we are meant to be becoming has taken over and we have willingly allowed it to be what is our most powerful selves.

This is not the truth so stop telling yourself that it is.

Our most powerful selves cannot ever make us hurt or wonder why it is that we are hurting or wondering when it is that someone else is going to make good on what they tell us. We wait and wait for other people to do things that we are told they are good at, assuming that, like any normal human creature, they will want to show that talent to anyone else, even if that talent shows up as not what we have been told.

To that other person, that we would bother to show that talent means that we trust that they are going to have it in OUR best interest, even for the sake of showing anyone else that truly, we care about what they think about themselves…well it means a whole hell of a lot, not only to that person…but to you, as well. Taking effort is a big fat deal in manifesting our lives – we have GOT TO take action, or else all we are doing is talkinʻ shit.

Think about the last time that you were able to help anyone else, and you were not worried about what you might get in return, and about how good it made you feel that you were able, by right of that talent, able to make another personʻs life a little bit easier. We are gifted with talents and gifts at birth. It is up to us to creatively grow them into being and if we donʻt, it is also ours to deal with the aftermath that ensues which is the absolute truth of our fears of failure. And truly, in the most tangible way, the only reason that it, or anything else, can be called a failure is due to failure to take right action.

A failure to take right action can be made right at any time

Yes, I am a reformed procrastinator. School is why. If I do not have a hula class to teach, then I do not have that marker in time where I need to be somewhere. This is fine, because the failure in my world at that time was that I was judging my life from who I thought I was for real. I was not a hula teacher “for real” meaning that there were other things in my life that I felt needed more attention. I ignored the signs – and the sign was that I needed to choose…remain in my current arrogance of the time OR, step out, perhaps not fearlessly, but for sure very bravely, and venture into the unknown.

“The Unknown” was what taught me the most, because what I thought I would do was become a Life Coach, and I did, but, it cost me a lot of money at the time, and the company that “certified” me went out of business. It took me some time and lots less money, all these years later, to recertify. This only shows one thing for sure – that you are not what you are labeled as.

You are not perfect, but you can be excellent, and there is the difference. We put too many time limits on the creation of our lives, and we forget about how big they really are seen with our mindʻs eyes that in our frustration, we also forget the most important thing of all – that we are, in that time, and without us being very aware of it, creating who we will become in the future that we are also creating. All I have ever wanted to do is make a difference in the lives of other people.

…and no this is not my telling you or my even stating that I am perfect or better than anyone else is.

This is not pointing out anyoneʻs “flaws” because most assuredly, there are no flaws that anyone else can point out that we, at some level, do not know about,

Indeed I know that I am needy, namely right now, and for the things that I have so freely given to others and eventually, like everything else, I will grow past this hurt and become ever more successful with that one thing – leading myself out of the darkness that I set there for me, through others, and at least I know where I stand with me, which is vitally important.

In all of this manifesting thing, all we were taught by that movie The Secret is that manifesting is possible.

What we were not taught were the things that propel it all into movement. You were told by the actors in that movie that manifesting is POOF! like a genie and myself, I have always known that it takes a LOT MORE self work than we are willing to do right off the bat. It takes more for each of us to face our own ugly truths, rather than only believing that we are pointing them out in others because we have the gift of sight – that is not the only thing. When we see it in others, it exists in us, as well, and even if you want to tell me I am wrong – go for it BUT, like DOES attract like, so…if you are experiencing bullshit, know now that it is no one but yours to deal with, even if someone else brought it to you.

Yes, I know we do not want to bring bullshit to ourselves, but we do by concentrating on NOT bringing it to our lives – that is REALLY how it works…we DRAW IT TO US WITH THE THOUGHTS THAT WE BELIEVE….and we are the reason that we believe those things, because. you know – we are always right, about everything, including our very selves….

Because, you know….we humans are perfect….more perfecter than other humans….


This is not how you think?

You think you are above faltering in your energies and you believe yourself to be above the rest of us in terms of being upright and taking right action so as to enrich your own life thereby enriching others, as well, is the outcome?

Well…why not?

I mean – this old guy…actually dead guy….Wallace D. Wattles…the author of the 1903 classic book The Science of Getting Rich pretty much maps it all out for us. Even way back then there were those of us who were trying hard to make it known to the human populace that we are magically energetic and magnetic in nature. Most people ought to realize this much by static electricity, and when there is a lack of moisture in the air we are going to experience it. This is a loose interpretation of it but is none the less how it works.

Even way back then, long before these …humans who produced that movie that introduced us all publicly to this phenomenon….Wattles had it right – there is nothing that we cannot have in our lives if we are willing to see to it that we need to think another way. Right this moment, as like LOTS AND LOTS of moments in my lifetime, it feels like I am still very alone in a crowd but the truth is that I am probably being prepped for what comes next. I never know anything about what comes next OTHER than the energies that I am sensing, and right now, there are no real ones that I am bothering to pay attention to. This is a talent that I have had since I was a small child – the ability to sense and be correct about the energies that I am feeling at any given time, and knowing exactly whose they are, while that part has always been an issue for me in discerning whose is whose…these days, I am spot on with it. 

This is not me bragging. Those who know me best know, as well, that I have a very hard time with patting me on the back. I am very dearly tough on myself.

Everyone knows this.

And I am tough on me because I can become complacent in my process of thinking for the better, than going backwards to the last good things that worked – yeah they worked, and they would have back then when I was THAT version of me, but now?

I AM THIS ME THAT I AM, RIGHT NOW...and in that manner, there is NO turning back, ever. I cannot go backwards. I love this me, even though this me is dearly hurting right now. I cannot change back into what I was, because it no longer fits the bigness of my life. 

This is my reminding myself that sometimes, there are times when we must intuit from the Divine the things that we need to know, and maybe my time is now to do that, at all times, because throughout my life, the bodily sensations that I get, and the thoughts that I think that I KNOW are not mine are things that right now, and at this very critically crucial time in my own personal life, are keeping me at a lesser level of broken than I was for the last few weeks.

Yeah – WEEKS, and it is a bitch trying to NOT express those things because they are not believed or not wanted to be believed even as they are my own observations. Observations do not tell lies – they are complete at the time that they are made. This does not mean that their entirety of being is complete, just that at that moment in time, what we are observing and feeling and sensing in that moment is the very truth of the moment. We can press other truths, but, always it is the prevailing truth that cannot be hidden because it is our Universal Energetic Signature. 

The Universal Energetic Signature

As a behavioral scientist, the one thing that I notice is that the more we stray from our truth, the harder our lives become. The harder our lives become, the sooner we are to throw our hands up and make the world know that we hate it and all of its inhabitants.

Our Universal Energetic Signature is the energy lifeline between yourself and the cosmos. It is the thing that is most noted as you by you that goes into the Universal climes and makes it so that you get exactly what it is that you are drawing to your life, either knowingly or not. At this moment in time, I am trying hard to not be bitter, hard to not be resentful of things and more than anything else, I am trying hard to not hurt. Perhaps it is my lesson right now, by the teachers who have brought it all to me OR, perhaps it is that I am the lesson for others, for whatever reason it is that anyone needs me in their life for any reason at all. The ʻsignature” that I am talking about is our personal magnetic vibration that we emit out into the big emptiness that is not really empty, at all.


Other people matter, they show up in our lives with purpose…to teach, or to be taught, but always, there for the opportunity to Love, even if it is that they only learn to love their battered and tortured selves

Into our lives comes this person who we know is not lying to us, but yet, we choose, instead, to forge ahead into this newness with old thoughts. When we are willing to only think about what USED TO work, rather than taking those MACHINATIONS OF ABILITY and USING THEM FOR OTHER THINGS, we are limiting ourselves. I know this one personally. I thought that I might not ever dance hula again, and yeah I beat the shit out of that one thing so that I can tell each of you reading this that truly, I am remiss that I do not get to teach hula like I did at one time in my life. …okay, I Am a little bit remiss, but I was way way remiss not long ago.

I used to have lots of students, and dance was the middle of my lifeʻs work. At least I thought it was.

Then one day, it all fell apart, and it bothered me to the point of no longer caring about much else than trying to revive it as it was. What I only realized lately is that the reason why it could not be the same is because I WAS NOT THE SAME ME AS BEFORE, and that much on its own, no matter who we think we are or were, is a LOT to deal with.

I did not know then…back in 2009….that I was being prepared for this part of my life, and perhaps that the only way that hula would be involved is through my show of the dance without it being taught to a group, and only danced by me in a solo effort, no matter how good or bad it is, of giving the world a different glimpse of what my culture, in its iconic art form, is all about for real.

To have read that over and over again right this moment, still, in some part of my psyche, is torture, because I was phenomenal at what I did. Yet, in reading it from another perspective, I learned from that time in my life that what I was doing was using Hula as a means to bridge people to each other.

And that is exactly what happened. 

This, I know now, is the actual gift that, as that specific Kumu Hula, was for me. It was the more important lesson of teaching children to get along, regardless of how much bad things were said to them about anyone elseʻs parents. We are awful, or we can be, as parents, imparting our foolishness on to other people because of our arrogance and our pride, not in who we are but in what we can do better than anyone else.

I can see it this way now, because I learned, through not being able to use my hula like I did to make me some money, what I CAN use it for, and it is lots more helpful as medicine.

Maybe that medicine is seen now rather than danced, but that remains to be known. Right now, it is not anywhere OTHER than in my head. 

Not the group dancing, but that I was joyful, always, no matter what, dancing hula. If I never am able to teach a class again, I will always know that I did and that I was good at it. It was the only thing that I had done for my work in this world, not knowing yet that the thing that I was meant for also required my working towards it. 

I work towards it everyday, my ability to help other people understand themselves. I cannot ever sit here and state that I help them for real because lately the evidence that I have helped people in the past is no where to be seen, even though I know it happened, they know it happened, and yeah…hell yeah – the Universe also knows it happened, because it was the grand Universe who and what has given me the strength that I have needed, all the time, but particularly lately, when it seems that on the emotional plane, I am all alone in this energy.

I behave as though I have not been here before, hurting and feeling all by myself in this energy.

I Am not, because I got this far, right?

I could not have gotten very far if I did not bother to make a way for me, throughout all of the things that I need to do for others, to also do well, because I know that in order for others to succeed, it is by my example that I lead them to their own success. If they cannot see it because they are blinded by the fear and the doubt and the worries of what it is that they cannot do anymore, that is not anything of yours to consider, ever. It is selfish of anyone at all to make it be something that anyone else needs from them, but, that selfishness ends when there is a lack of a corresponding energy where other people are concerned.

Mr. Wattles is correct in writing that we are so concerned with competing to succeed, so invested in that emotion of being better than what we need to be, which are co-creators with  one another, that when our egos have us by the fucking throat, and we are more willing to look outside of ourselves without first looking within, we are denying ourselves the truth of who we are for the truth of who we are trying to be again and THAT is a mechanism of the Ego self at its highest lowest finest.

We choose to allow this energy in our lives, for no other reason than that we are very well versed in it. We believe that failure is the only thing that we will ever achieve, and then when it happens, we want to know why it happens. It happens because it is the believable thought that we, ourselves, produce. It happens because we are more willing to believe the things that other people tell us about who we are rather than believing the good things that we know are the truth.

Right at this time in my life the planets are showing me …NOT where I am ʻwrongʻ in any other manner than depending on the good opinions and intentions of other people. Period.

I know EXACTLY who and what I Am, and right now I Am not ashamed to call myself temporarily needy  – this is part of being human…being put in our place to see how the rest of the planet deals with this sort of thing. My job is to teach others how to bring this to their lives.

This thing called co-creation 

Right now, I feel like I depended on the truths of the intentions of other people, rather than on my own, and that is where I gave away my own power –in believing what it was that I did not have evidence of. What I DO have evidence of is that on my own I have created my own empowerment, have made it mine to hoʻomana …or literally meaning to….so much so that this is what I call my coaching practice….Hoʻomana…because yeah, it has a nice ring to it.

I did not come to this conclusion lightly, neither by haste, but, I knew that embedded within it was the power of its own creative force, its power to become what it is meant to be as is envisioned by me. That lots of people think it is a pipe dream is one thing, but, that I keep on being prodded by the Aether, by the people in life and by the very driven force of passion within me…I can see what is  there, and what is mine, and that I have been she who has exacted this empowerment into my own life is nothing short of amazing. 

Even after everything that I have experienced, and everything that should have “taken me out” and didnʻt, here I Am, boldly standing in my own empowerment, knowing, for sure, that I Am this Me because I created this Me.

We have no idea of our abilities until we are forced through personal traumas to use it, all of it. We cannot fear it being lacking – we are who makes it that way.  This is not my truth. It is the truth of the Universe – that which we give most of our focus to is that which we will experience in our lives. I focus on my own successes, because in doing so, it is a guarantee on every level that I also impart this onto others and specifically I inject that same energy into the lives of the people who I love the very most.

I have been doing this, apparently, since I actually believed that I could, which is hallmarked by my return to college in the Fall of 2015.

All those good grades, those considerations for things that people who put forth the effort toward the goal of doing what they do, forever and ever amen, and being everything that they are supposed to be and helping those who have entered into their awareness …this is the reason why ….and they are the answers as to why it is that I do like I do, which is not look back at the past, neither look forward too much to the future, which is everyday changing and in manifest.

All we have is now, and in my now I chose to read a book that I read a long time ago, and one that now, means lots more to me, now that I have evidence, and evidence produced long before I was born, and 33 years before even my 81 year old father was born, in words, telling me that everything old is new again, even the way that we think.

Click the link below to get your free copy of it…read it again and again and see what it means to map your own brain…

Aloha Mai E….til next time….



Click this link to get a free copy of Wallace D. Wattlesʻ The Science of Getting Rich…for free even!! 

Ka Lonopūhā (The Healing Art)


We all have our own method of healing our Selves

Ka Lonopūhā …loosely translated means “the healing art.”

We are the creators of our own personal healing art. The photo is one of my favorite places to think, to decompress, to realign my brain so that it and my mind do not go at odds with each other.

Ka Lonopūhā…The Healing Art

In my actual studies at school, I Am the not-so-quiet and very much involved with my studies, and my environment, and those who I share the immediate air and my time and soul with…type student.

Much as I Am in all of Life. Including the one that I live away from school. The one that I live with the people who mean the most to me and who are not aware of the thing that a whole lot of them are denying, even though it would appear to be the other way. It would appear that a lot of them are fending off the thing that they believe that they are not. Instead, it is not that they are fending anything off or away – if it is observable, it is part of you, but the part that is apart from, physically, you.

Too many people want to believe that when someone tells us that something or someone is a part of us, that they are in our energy.

They are, BUT, not in the way that your brain cannot comprehend, and all because no one could explain it well enough because no one chose, but a very small number of us on this planet, to merely observe, even ourselves as being part of that observation – which means that indeed, there are a lot of us who are watching ALL of Life, with our own Selves as also being observed, in relation to everything that is going on collectively.

Right now, and collectively, the energy is that of a very healing nature. More and more people are coming out of the silence, and we are voicing our pain and we are letting it go, out into the arms of the loving Universe, so that it can be transformed into what it is meant to Be, which is Bravery, culled from fear. To cull something means to cut it out and reject it because it does not meet up to standard, let alone par. The Bravery upon which we cut ties with our old selves are done so once it is that we have chosen to cull…or reject….fear.

The way that we cull the fear and become Brave is to bother with Being our highest best selves, even if that highest best self, the each of us, feels differently and is having whatever kind of experience we are having. The collective whole of us wants things to be lovely, and really, we want things to be good for everyone.

Okay, maybe I am the only one who wants this, no matter how mad I am at someone, or how much I dislike anyone or yeah…even hate them…(don’t hate ’cause of their well earned and culled hate they are getting from me….it is the thing that is culling them from me in reverse…..reread that – you’ll understand it when you need to). Maybe I actually am that sort of person who, for whatever it is worth to anyone, will let things go. I am that person who is able to stand in my…”Reverend Pose” and be there, in that personality and look at things from that observer’s point of view, and stand apart from the situation long enough to see the human factor involved.

…then suddenly realize that I am also part of that factor, that I am as fallible as anyone would be and most of all, I have no right to hang on to anything that I have no business having an opinion about. Unless it is my own, about myself, or regarding myself in relation to anyone else.

When I do this, I am able to sense the similarity, and the similarity right this moment is that for real, we are where we are supposed to be, because whatever it is that we are going to be doing has to do with the way that we have found ourselves through the truth in the turmoil.

We are finding out that we are drawn to where the healing takes place, even as we are still very well in place in those places that physically, we would rather not Be. But, Be where we Are right now we must, because somehow, it is helping to heal who we Are.

Like salt in a wound, or in my case, lime juice in a scrape had whilst pulling limes from the neighbor’s tree…either way, it burns, and either way, it cleanses, and either way, it will not hurt forever, and either way, it will heal.

We go to these places and Be with those who mean the most to us because our souls know that those are those places where we will heal. We still live like humans, in a body, and we still live as humans, living life as fallible creatures, but, we do so also as Souls living lives and learning about who we are, instead of trying to Be who we are not.

The most healing thing…

The most healing thing is now, right now, when it is that we see there in our midst nothing, but everything because in that “nothing” is contained the void which the Universe abhors. By right of quantum physics, that which is empty will get filled. If your life is void of something that truly your heart desires, rather than the thing that, for too long now was gonna be the truth is NOT the truth, that void being filled with more things that hurt…well, you are, right this moment, where it feels like there is nothing left there is this void.

And the void, in the sense that is the science behind it, will be filled, and you get to dictate with what….so, let’s think about that for a moment okay? Let’s think about what we could do with that void, and how we would be able to use it to our best advantage.

Let’s think about the last time that the energy in the middle portion of your belly felt like it does right this moment. I am not there with you, so I cannot see you and you cannot tell me where it is that this warmth, or perhaps this very…intense feeling of resistance…is at in your body. So for your own benefit, think about where it is in your body right this moment that you are having one of these two sensations and when it is that you are having that sensation, what is it that you are thinking about.

There is a better way for every one of us to think the thoughts that we think, but first we have to trust that we can believe those thoughts. SO, the first thing that you have to do is create believable truths about you that apply to you right this moment. You might not be a great artist, or a great musician, or great at that one thing that you want to be great at, but, it does not mean that you won’t ever be. Even though a lot of people in the healing trades tell you that you need to live in this moment (and they are right) what you are not thinking about is that it is okay to be thinking thoughts in that moment. If you don’t think thoughts, then you have no idea of what it is that you might not want to think anymore.

The thing that we are not thinking is that haha….lots of people want us NOT to think, but, our mind does that anyway…think. What I prefer to think of it is, is that you are rewording your thoughts about yourself, and that if you must stay focused and in your thoughts, then why not play with the words that you are thinking those thoughts with and make those words believable as well as at least neutral, if not at least good….(even though we would love for them to be great…I get it I promise…)?

We ought to be thinking, because in order to Be, one must be able to think. To create our lives we must think thoughts conducive to those lives being made. This requires work on our own part. Regardless of what a whole lot of people want to believe, there is not one person on this planet who is not prone to thinking, at one point in their day. I am so very sorry, but to not think, at least at one point in your day, is not giving credit to the idea that you have the capacity to create your world. In order to do that, all of these modern day gurus and people selling it to the world, this thing called the LOA, have it right….you think your existence into being, and the environment it in housed in.

To not think is to not claim responsibility, and neither control of or power over, our own lives.

To not think is to allow the rest of the world to have it in their head that you are thoughtless. To not think means that you are not living completely or fully, even though you might have been taught that thinking is the way that you screwed your life up but I am here to tell you that that is not the truth. It is not that you are thinking too much, but rather, is the kinds of thoughts that you are thinking and more, the way that those thoughts are making you feel.

If you want to heal, then in your thoughts, you have to start thinking things that make you believe that this is what you actually want. This is not about what you are going to get, but, more about the feelings that you feel about you actually getting the things that you want that will lead to the life that you want to have. What you are not told in all of these things is that you have to actually train your thoughts to do this. Only a handful of teachers will tell you this outright (and methinks that I will begin compiling a list of links to these people…stay tuned. I will post them as I find them…) In getting what you want to have, you have to be very clear about what that is.

If it is that you want certain things, it is not the actual thing that you need to call into your life but more, the right situations and synchronicities to happen that will allow these things to happen that help it all Become. Read that again, maybe twice if you must, then you will see what it is that many, many people have NOT done, in relation to calling into being the lives that they want.

You gotta learn to see what is not obvious, and you gotta be willing to see yourself as that thing that you need to be, right this moment, even if in the physical world, you are not what you see there in your mind’s eyes – you are that in your Soul, meaning that you are that in manifest. When you are in manifest, you are learning to appreciate what it is that you are learning to be. When you are learning to be your highest best self, you are unlearning to be what you are no longer, which you have not been in a long time, which is no longer the right fit for the higher self that you are now.

That is a lot to take in, the idea that you are not the same as you once were, and that even in what seems like your broken self, you are still whole, are still able, are still here for a reason. To be in that energy, there are things that you have no reason left to believe about you. There are things that no longer apply and the reason that it feels so…not nice…is because you are, by far, better than you were not too long ago. There are things that you no longer have to deal with and the things that are not there anymore, no matter what they were, that are gone from you are not a part of you. This means that you no longer have to live in that energy any longer.

There are parts of you that won’t ever go away, that are evolved now, that are there and present and waiting to be what they are supposed to be for you, and all you are waiting for is the opportunity, and in those opportunities are the things that you are meant for, in this part of your life, where you are not hurting anymore and you are not having to live up to the things that your ego needed in order for it to live.

You are no longer just that…and you only recently found out that this is the truth of you – that you are not just the body, not just the outer person, but that you are the soul within and that the soul within has grown to who you are now. The only thing that is left is to build from what seems like the rubble that is actually just a collection of mosaic pieces created by and for you.

The Healing Art

Only you know what is your healing art, and only you have the ability to trust it for yourself, so that with it you can create the life that you want. First, though, you have to be willing to heal those parts of yourself that have kept you where you are for what is already too long. It is not because of anything other than that you were not taught that you are allowed to believe in yourself. You were taught to love everyone but that everyone also included yourself.

The healing art that I Am talking about is this thing called being Human and learning to be who you are right this moment.

Only you, at all times, know who you are, even right now, in this moment.

What is your healing art?

Whatever it is, it is right.

No one can do it better than you can

Try it

It takes practice

I promise it works








tent city pomona

When judging the lives of others becomes the only thing we do, it is time to think about what it is that we are NOT doing for ourselves.

I chose to use a photo of a street here in Pomona.

This is here in Pomona on Commercial Street.

All over this town you will see these things…these tent cities, and they are becoming more and more commonplace throughout the state and the country and even the world. This is proof of our collective ability towards NOT showing any sort of benevolence, any kindness to those who can be thought as “meek.”

Rarely will I use anything….bible …in my blog, unless it directly is connected to the thing that is being written….in my momʻs bible it states that Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. (Matt. 5:5)

What this means, basically, is that when we are exercising having control over our sense of power and we are not aware of the idea that we are, in that moment, by right of our being able to control that energy….that is called being empowered. 

So, letʻs think about that for a moment, okay?

Letʻs think, seriously, about how…powerful, even as it is silenced by it only being a photo, what you are looking at in this picture truly is.

Can you see yourself having to live this way and still feeling like somehow, anyone cares? Can you bother with these people who, by right of who they are, versus who you are not, might not be the sort of people who you would think you have anything in common with?

Can you bring yourself to your own empowerment, even as you have all the niceties in your life, and see here that these people also do this same thing? You can sit there and think to yourself that it wonʻt happen to you, because of whatever it is that you are choosing to tell yourself, but, in the back of your mind, you know, that at the bottom of it all….it CAN happen to you…and all it takes is the belief that it WILL happen

When I tell you that these people who live in these tents do this whole….empowerment  thing, I am asking you to take a look at the photo and see there that indeed, the answer is yes…


Yes they do.

We do not know that they donʻt. All we know is that there are a whole lot of us who do not live like this who pass judgment on them, as though it wonʻt happen to anyone of us.

No, not homelessness…being hardened against things like this, as though these people asked for this to happen to them.

Most folks want to believe that these are the ones among us who fell into this way of life because they did drugs and then committed crimes to make this happen, and no one thinks that maybe it was not that, or perhaps even if it was – what made someone have so much inner pain, pain in the soul, that they would have to relieve that pain with outer substances, just so that for a moment, they could see their lives, and even their own selves, as being somewhat human?

Until you have been in someone elseʻs shoes, you have no clue as to the way that they got there, and you have no way to know what it is that they have been through or what, perhaps they have put anyone else through that would cause it that they would be amongst those who…live in cities, but what kind?

Yeah…these kinds….

Sucks, doesnʻt it?

What really sucks, though, is that there is a significant portion of the populace, NOT of Los Angeles county, neither the state of California, nor the country, even the world…what really sucks is that even as there is plenty of evidence as to how it is that a lot of people end up here…still, we call them blight, and useless, and all of these other things in hopes that the fear that is inside of us….the fear that this could end up being us one day… is just a passing thing.


Fear, you see, is the thing that for a long, long time in our lives dictates our lives.

What I mean by that is, when we are young, we are taught some things, and those things are not taught outright, but come to us in moments when we are observing the energetic exchanges between the big people in our lives. We watch them interact and we see what behavior looks like, and all the while, we are, as young as we are, observing and absorbing all of these energies.

When we are much older, we then find ourselves in those same instances, and they come out of nowhere, those things called memories. The person who shows up to the drama between us and others, is not really us in the now, but us the last time that we felt the way we did in the moment that it initially happened. (Reread that….)

This is why, when certain feelings arise, we will state things to our selves that sound like “she made me feel small” and “he made me feel like a child” and in neither case are those statements anything good to hear about oneʻs self – specifically in our own voice in the Now. When we are confronted with people telling us to “stop behaving like a child” we are automatically turned, in our memories and in that moment, back into that child in the emotional sense.

Because prior to that one moment, when we are taken back to that time in our lives, as children, and felt so helpless and small and even incapable of coping with the feelings that we are not able to rectify it all for ourselves because we do not know how to do that. We are not told, perhaps some of you until this moment when you read that….we are not told this because we have to create our way out of that moment, so that later on, the moments that feel just like that one moment can be dealt with better.

Think about it like this – every time those feelings visit you, you have an autopilot  that goes into action that just gets you through the feelings but does not truly address what is there and bothering you. There is an entire population on this planet who go through life not knowing that the thing that makes any one of us feel a certain way, whether that way is really good or really not, is truly what is the thing that we are contending with. You must remember that the way that we bring things and events and lessons even into being, in to our Now moments and that place we refer to as being tangible reality – all of those things that are there and right this moment…you thought those things into your awareness, and now, you are thinking about how you did that.

If you get lost as to how you did that, I will remind you that it did not happen over night, and neither did it happen without help from outside of you. I will also remind you that it was the predominant emotion that caused you to have a feeling and one that was believable that sent the message out into the Universe that told the Universe what it was that you were, at that moment, so very focused on.

And it could have been anything. It could have been your most important relationships, not realizing that you were sabotaging them all by your not believing that people actually love you, just exactly as you are, jacked up, fucked up from the neck up and tore up from the floor, up….yeah – YOU.

It takes a moment to really think about the truth of that last thing that you just read. It took me a very long time to believe that perhaps when I was a small child, that it was not that I was out of hand, but that I was, in that moment, the thing that someone who was one of the big people in my life – maybe it was their moment to not react. Yet, react, to whatever it was that they reacted, they did. They said things that were said out of anger, and perhaps even physically reacted, with a slap to your hiney, calling it discipline.

And years later, while they have forgotten that moment, for some of us, that moment remained very much alive within us. It was a moment when we were confused as to the reason why it was that anyone who was meant to be there for us would suddenly, out of a fit of rage, turn on us, namely when we are so young and so tiny. I write a whole lot about those things that we went through, a whole lot of us, as children, that neither we nor the adults in our lives, maybe, also did not understand what they were doing to us rather than for themselves.

Typically, those times came at times that were traumatic for both them as well as us, but the thing is that they might not, even now, realize that they, too, are traumatized, still, by that moment. They do not realize this yet, because they were never taught to know that sometimes, acting, rather than responding, to anything at all, namely when they were enraged or confused or enraged because they were confused…we wonʻt ever know.

All we do know is that in the Now, we are still affected by that time in our lives, a time when we do not know til this very moment that right now, that Meek part of us is stirring by right of having seen these words and felt the sting of that one very empowering moment when it was that in the Now moment, we see that we were able to make a large person, and one who was meant to be an example, but of what, we do not know til now.

Now is the moment that you get to reclaim your power, and call that moment, the one that turns you into a crying heap or perhaps a raging mess…regardless, now is the moment that you can claim the empowerment that you did not know was yours, til right this moment. All this time, you were thinking that the things that happened then were the things that would dictate who you are forever and ever. Until right this moment, when a stranger and their words came into your awareness and told you a truth that is optional….yeah can choose to not choose it, find this an interesting reading, call me insane and be right about it….

…or you can trust that warmth, that glow in those places in your body that experience this lightness, this feeling in those areas of your Self that perhaps for a long set of years, when someone told you something, and you felt like you were being put down…that feeling, once it is that you are given another option, suddenly becomes optional, too.

That feeling you have, the one that you have created on your own, in this moment called Now, when you realized that it is you who has had the control, the option, the Power to choose  what those moments and those memories will further offer you. You now get to ask yourself what you will do with those memories, and with those feelings of anger and rage and how will you bring them into being for you to know that they exist there but not to hurt you, at least not anymore.

They are there for a reason, and the best reason of all….YOU

This is the only thing that any one of us needs to think – that the best reason for no longer thinking about the things that play over and over in your head and that sound like the things that hurt you, over and over, as much as they have played there – you do not have to believe the bad stuff.

You can believe that the definition of “meek” means weak, or, you can choose to make it make sense to you, and still mean what you read that it means here. You can choose to look it up, choose to attach it to that word “benevolence” and realize that even in that instance, you are empowered, to the point where it would appear that the strongest thing in your communicative efforts is your silence.

You can choose to believe what you will, or you can choose to believe the truths that you have had a hard time believing, all these years.

You can choose to believe the good, because tit is the truth, too.

Think about it…






Be The Aloha


When the world wants you to be something you are not, choose to Be Aloha


Be Love.


BE Love. It is not that hard, seeing as how we are comprised of Love. One wouldnʻt know it from the looks of things right now but I promise, we are all made of Love.

When the world wants you to choose indifference, and when those around you want you to take sides, take the side that is Aloha and take the time to Be Love.

Yeah yeah I know…it sounds all nice and smooshie and all those other icky girlie things that a lot of people think equates to weakness, but the truth of the matter is that Love is the very most powerful and empowering thing that this world and all of humanity knows, even though there are things that happen that make us collectively believe otherwise.

When it seems like the world around you is failing to its own arrogance, to its own need for the wrong sort of power, remember who you are and that you were made from Love, that you are here to share Love and that your place on this planet is to be the example of Love.

As a Hawaiian person, the one thing that I, as a human, as Kahuna Wahine, as an Ordained person, as a student, as the person who I have grown to this point to be and am still becoming, the one thing that I have always known, and the one thing that is the truth that not one of us can deny is that the easiest thing for a whole lot of us to do is to show our love to the world, even if the world in our lives is comprised of but a few people and maybe a dog – that does not matter. If you have one person in your life who loves you and is not you, then you have experienced what it means to Be Aloha. 

It means that to them, and for them, you were the Aloha…Are the manifestation of Aloha within them, the representation of it for them, and for you, you have become the example of what it is to also BE Loved, unfiltered and unflinchingly…

To Be Aloha…

You do not need to be Hawaiian to Be Love, to Be Aloha. No matter what you want to think, you are meant for great things, and all great things begin with Love.

It is the Love within us that will heal us at the individual level, and love from within that is shown to the world that will heal the world, if only we would stop believing that we have to keep on protecting ourselves from the ugly things that we donʻt know will or will not happen. It is no way to live waiting for bad things to happen. I know that in this time in our collective history, there is a lot of bad stuff that we are all waiting for.

We need to stop this practice, and simply Be the Aloha that we all seek and that seeks us out. We need to stop fearing that we are not good enough, remember that we are each and all here for a grander, higher purpose, and just go with our own flow, not minding the idea that there are people here with bad intentions who willingly do things, NOT to exact change in anyoneʻs lives but their own.

We have come to a place and time in our lives when it feels and appears that there is a severe lack of Love, but that is not the case. In fact, there is nothing further from the truth.

The thing that compels us to move forward is never fear, but the Love we have for ourselves and the love that is ours to give to others, namely those who are the closest to us. We are meant to share our love with them, be the Aloha in their lives, so that they may, in their lives, share what we have given to them. This is how this is supposed to be. There are people who want things otherwise, because that is the only way that they know. We are here and meant to show and teach and be that thing that they do not know about, that perhaps they fear and fear because they have lost it, so many times in the past, not even thinking or knowing that the thing that they feel they have no more of actually exists within them.

…it always will  be there, within, this thing called Aloha

Indeed it appears that we are “against” one another, but the truth is that we are terrified of no longer being relevant, and when our personal relevance depends on things outside of ourselves, rather than on the thing that we have and that is alive and well within us and that is actually keeping us alive – that thing that gives us the will to live is NOT material things, and neither how much money a person has, nor how much outer power, but all and only Love, all and only Aloha, all and only the purest, strongest energy that humankind has ever known, will ever know, has the power to produce into eternity.

Actual power does not live on the outside. It is from within. It is the thing that makes us not have a snit when someone pisses us off, and it is the thing that makes us realize that no matter who takes what away from us, the one thing that no one human can ever take away from anyone else is the capacity to Love, to give Love, to Have Love, to BE LOVE. When we understand the way that the Law of Attraction works, for real, we will understand, as well, how it is that we are who creates our reality. Based on the things that are in our collective reality, it is very clear to this Kahuna Wahine that the thing that we have depended on, and the thing that we have been told and the thing that we continue to be told is the truth – that power is outside of our selves, that only those with lots of money have power and that those with all the political and social power are not us – IS NOT THE TRUTH.

We are the ones who make bad people powerful, by giving our attention to their antics. If we could spend half the time loving those who have been wronged versus hating those who are the wrongdoers, we would see, for sure, that indeed, LOVE IS THE MOST POWERFUL AND EMPOWERING ENERGY ON THE PLANET AND IN THE UNIVERSE and sadly, we are not bothering with our finest, highest weapon of mass destruction of ignorance, of hatred, of ambivalent acceptance of things that are not like us, of things that our Tutu Ladies told us were not okay to do, and of things that we name “monster” and fear the raising of such ugliness, again and again, in our lives.

We have the power to elicit change, the power to make this place a peaceful place for us all. The moment that we understand that there is no “Us vs Them” and that WE ARE THE ALL THAT IS is the same moment that we will know that we are safe to stop fearing things we cannot predict and safe to stop keeping ourselves on high alert for the simple fact that indeed, since 9/11, our place in the world, not as Americans, but as humans, has been taken less than seriously, as if who we are is meant to be punished because we have that thing called a choice, that thing called free will – and the powers that be donʻt like this.

Apparently, we are not meant to be free if we are not of a certain skin color, income level, social standing. I say to hell with the social agreement that anyone considered “the 1%” is somehow more powerful than we are. The only powers that they have are the ones that they think they have. I refuse to worry for a few rich people when all around me are the beautiful ones whose agenda is all and only Aloha, is all and only kupaʻa (solidarity), is all and only lokahi (unity) is all and only ALOHA (LOVE).

When freedom that has been afforded all of us, freedom that is bring me your tired, your weak….and that freedom suddenly and one day becomes up for sale to whoever can line the pockets and keep the secrets of a few dirty old “Christian” men…when things that happen that are happening now in our country, happen almost everyday, and we sit and believe that we are powerless to do anything about it, this is where our singular ability to LOVE RATHER THAN HATE that which is different than we are becomes all too important. 

It is time, now, really, that we all come together, imagine a place of peace and harmony and a place where it is safe to #BeAloha, so that our kids and their kids and their kidsʻ kids can know that it was because we cared enough to make it known that no matter how many bad guys there are on this planet, there are several tens of thousands of good people to their very few – do the math.

Our kids need to know that no matter what famous person, by right of the color of our kidsʻ skin and due to the ignorance that these few moronic men in high office seems to think is “only words”…when this sort of thing happens like it keeps on happening, this is when we are being called to Love, called to #BeAloha

We can do like those in perceived power want us to do, which is to run and hide and be afraid, but that is no way to live, and they know this.

Or, we can #BeAloha, and be okay, and live our lives as if we are surrounded by Love and by that thing that we do not realize we are, have always been….


Be The Love, the Be The Change you wish to see in the world.



be aloha.jpg

Click the shirt to be taken to the Revʻs online “Cause” store – #TheRockin9th

#TheRockin9th #LosAngelesKahunaRox #TheManaOBlog #TheGhettoAllegory

#ChickWisdom #ACountOfEight #CrashingPastTheSpeedOfDarkness





What you cannot see, know, or hear : Some Words About Your Currently Tumultuous Life


We who inhabit Planet Earth, at this time, are finding out that life, at this present moment, is quite tumultuous. Here are some words to explain what you are going through lately.


According to Websterʻs Dictionary, it means “a state of commotion, excitement, or violent disturbance.” 

Right now, and I can state this as being the truth and also as being the common thing among human beings on the planet – life, right this moment, for a lot of us, feels very harsh. Lots of us cannot figure out what it is that we did so wrong that would cause all of these things to happen in our lives. Many of us are experiencing changes that we never thought would be part of our awareness and neither that which we call “daily life.”

This is not something that I care to much trifle with outside of the idea that this is being written with the idea in mind that no one knows, really, what is going on in the minds of others, let alone the lives of others, but, here we are, none the less, surviving this crap everyday.

But we want to live, donʻt we??


Of course, and this will strike a few of my regular readers a bit…oddly..but, this turmoil we each are experiencing is living, or, at least is building it to be that thing that we call “living well.”

Reread that if you must, if for nothing more than to simply have a shot at wrapping your head around the idea that you are here, in this body and on this plane for a specific purpose. That specific purpose is tied directly and intimately to the turmoil that you are going through right now. The turmoil, even as much as it hurts and sucks, is meant to polish the each of us so as to ready us for the thing that we were meant to do in this lifetime whilst traipsing the planet as humans. You do not have to believe me but, from the research that I, myself, am constantly conducting in the realm of human thought as it pertains to Spirit and ethereal “stuff,” the only thing that I can see and sense, with all of this…huge change..happening, is that we are being primed for the reality that we are creating through this crap.

The reality that we are creating through all the crap

Letʻs play with a few thoughts here, shall we?

Letʻs pretend that you have this dream life that you have seen in your thoughts for years and years, and that you could only see the end result of what you want to happen.

Now letʻs pretend that for a very long while of your being in your body and things being lovely for years and years and then one day the shit begins to hit the fan. Suddenly those things that were there and common and everyday in your own life are no longer there, no longer common and no longer everyday things that happen. In fact, some of those things that are happening you are not able to figure out how, and more – why – with everything that you have done in your life for other people – how could things be as shitty as they have been for the last….I donʻt know…on the whole – say…five years, in the collective sense.

Understand that within that five years is also contained the fact that there have been people who have been going through things for, on average, two years, before they finally begin to have the strength to at least look at what is possible in all of the chaos. Understand, too, that if you are not aware of your own evolution, and not at least savvy to the idea that everything, including you , evolves, then you really need to pay attention LOTS more. In fact, there are a lot of us who are, right now, unable to understand why it is that the things that you are going through are so very painful. That is because you were given this opportunity to make things right, in terms of realigning your soul with your purpose, and in doing so, all of the lessons that you either ignored in the past, or, perhaps the ones that you are meant to learn in the future – all those things are coming in to your life so that you can prepare for the next level of living.

As much as that does not make sense – that we have to go through some shit just so that we donʻt have to offer ourselves up to the gods and goddesses of bullshit (theyʻre actually called “lessons”) – when it is explained in a more detailed way and even though some of us cannot see past the thing that we are going through, many more of us, even as we, at first, may be confused by this – think in terms of things “coming out in the wash,” or perhaps like a child who has outgrown his or her favorite clothes. While we know that we loved those things and those ways of being, we also know that at this very moment in time, in comparison to who we each were just those short five years ago….we each have grown in the soul, enough to have to experience some discomfort in our lives, sometimes to the point of what we call “insanity.”

Yet, when we think about it, life, itself, is a maddening thing. It is not a game, even as it feels like it is, from time to time and more now lately than in the past – it is a challenge.

We were not ever made to think any other way than that.

Sure, some of us humanoids have it kinda easier than it appears the rest of us do, but that means that they either have not yet begun to go through what I can only call their “upward spiral that must first start downward,” or, they are already done going through it. You will recognize these people almost immediately once it is that you have read through this writing more than only one time. You can sense their calm, even though you can also sense their erratic inner lives. You can see the pain on their faces, as much as you can also see the sense that everything is going to be okay – we just have to brace ourselves a little bit longer and by the time all these turmoils have been seen to and dealt with, we will not realize that the reason for the turmoil was to actually help us get to being who we truly are.

If all this sounds like nonsense, ask yourself if you have ever been in the situations that you are finding yourself in these days, and ask yourself if you are more aware now (you might call it guardedness) and ask yourself if truly, even though back there was lots easier, would you be able to look back there, given that ease, and through recalling what it was that was your turmoil then, and the very turmoil that spawned this current energy of it – given all of the people who you have met and who have, even for a split second, changed your thought about any one thing at all, and now you are far wiser because of that – would you be able to trade all of the wisdom that you have created for yourself, all of the people who are now nearer and dearer to you than lots of others who pretended to be there for you in the past….would you be able to say goodbye to them, knowing that you are just outside of comfort, and that the only thing left is to see things in two ways: a physical reality, as well as a spiritual knowing?

Yeah…me, neither.

I could not, would not, cannot even dream to be who I was five years ago. I cannot be that scared person again, too afraid to fail better than I have in the past. I cannot be that woman who took orders from other people just to keep herself safe and what little of her sanity was left, in full tact. I cannot be that person again, because that person does not fit into my life right now. That person was too emotionally attached in a very bad way to a bad person who only recently was I able to make it known to him that for years, he made it so that I was the one who would take the fall for every sin he committed against me, personally, in the form of domestic abuse.

I cannot be that person again, because that person is not the one with the higher sense of integrity, and that person is not able to see beyond the tangible to the spiritual reason as to why that person did not survive the change which spawned the growth and produced this me.

That Person in Your life…

The one thing that no one tells us about, when we are younger and when we are learning to be our highest best selves is that there are three ways of becoming wise:

1 – Hard Knocks (and they will continue to happen til we learn from them)

2 – We gain insight (but this is after we have gone through a series of harsh stuff)

3 – It comes naturally, because we chose, all at one time, to do both 1 and 2

Further, the other thing that I have become aware of is that there are three ways that we are given this wisdom, and of the three, only one of them truly helps us evolve:

1 – We are taught how to pay attention

2 – We are told how to pay attention

3 – We learn to pay attention

Paying attention….it is a learned thing, really

The one thing that I have noticed over the years is that when someone else is successful at doing something, they believe that we are all going to be as successful at that very same thing. This is not the truth. We learn differently, meaning that when we perform what it was that we learned how to do, we are not going to do it in any other manner than the way which we learned how to. Recently I had a conversation with someone who I thought we were way closer than I found out that we were. If it is that that person wants to not talk to me anymore, that is fine – that is her choice to make.

However, what I got from that conversation, and a conversation that has stayed with me since it happened, was that the truth of humanity is that we expect what we do and what is successful for us to work for everyone. This, again, is not the truth. When it was presented to me in the manner that it was, which was to question my motives and not bother with the methods that my condition will currently allow, I began to, at first, argue back. Then within a very few short moments, instead of lambasting that person, I chose to question them. This is likely the reason that she and I are not talking – because one of us is still trying to rectify what the other said and that was the truth. I am not stating that what that other person said was a lie. What I am stating is that the way that she learned, which was very abusive on the part of the people who were teaching her how to be herself (and up until lately, did a very poor job at it) is not the same way that I learned what was going on at those times in our lives when we were, at the same time, presented with things that our own minds, at the young ages that we were, could not wrap themselves around.

Let it be well known, right this moment, that what is perceived in some cultures as being discipline is often times abusive in another one. When it is that the perception of that discipline is understood by the person who it was enacted upon, no matter how long ago it was done to them, that personʻs perception, unless and until they have something that counters that memory – that person is ALWAYS going to go back to the last good thing in their head that worked.

I donʻt know about anyone else, but, the last thing that anyone “formerly abused” needs to do is believe that they are going to be able to understand how one personʻs method of healing is self-taught, and anotherʻs, taught by someone else and namely through violent means.

Where we go wrong as humans is believing, again, that the way that we did something is going to be the same way that other people do things and that those things and methods and ways of being and doing work for everyone and the truth is that they might not work at all and in some cases, like my own, may make things much worse. To expect someone else to do things any way but their own is not only wrong, but it has the capacity to wreck them further.

The other problem with this is that we live in a world where people are already fake enough, already trying to pass off on others the idea that what we are doing is the best model and method, because what we did and worked for us…we assume will work for all others, as well and just as well as it did for us. What we do not think about is that we are each and all different, and what may work for one of us will not, no matter how much we try to make those things work – do anything for us, at all. It will cause us more frustration, and will cause us not only to question what we are doing, but also who we are for real.

Who we are for real is not dependent upon what other people tell us. Who we are rests neatly and squarely on our own shoulders. Yet, sometimes, and with certain people, that message falls upon deaf ears, because yeah – no one wants to think about their successes not being the thing that can be the downfall of anyone else. You cannot expect that others will have the same results that you did. The other thing that makes me really wonder why it is that people will talk to life coaches and then when it comes to the point where the things that the coach taught them is not being retained, that client blames the coach.

The reason that I believe those things fail is not about the coach, and has everything to do with how we each and all respond to negative energy.

Negative energy is that thing we all try to avoid, but in that avoidance we are robbing ourselves of the ability to get through things that inevitably happen to all human beings, no matter what. We are here to learn, not only to be taught, and we are here to tell our story, not only be told what it is by witness of other people. We each and all are very different from one another. The expectation that we are, on our own, going to be able to handle what comes our way and using someone elseʻs methods rather than realizing that they are telling us that they have gone through the same thing for the simple purpose of allowing us to know that by our own witness account, things do get better.

We just have to remain open in the awareness that is currently ours and respond, rather than react to it all. The only one way to do that is to learn from the past, the same things that are presented to us each and all now, and remember that we are the ones who are meant to shine through that turmoil, the ones who are meant to stop the tumult by our own creative nature and through knowing, rather than only believing in our own selves, that what we are experiencing and also witnessing is our lives unfolding before our eyes.

Do not be too sure that this…turmoil…is here forever, because it is not. It is here long enough for us each and all to learn how to deal with it so that we can get through it, not only this time, but every time that happens in the future. Forget about all the well-meaning words of advice and think for yourself, using those words of advice only as a reference to your own self-taught and learned manners and ways of being. Do not bother with the things that worked for anyone else UNLESS you are talking about things in the tangible world that are here and already exist and need the human touch to be repaired instead of the ethereal touch that allows us to heal.

We are souls contained in bodies. We are meant to be here, learn who we are, become who our purpose and mission needs us to be. We do not know what our place is until we have gone through some shit. Right now, we are going through shit on the collective level, telling me that there is a lot of stuff that people have hung on to for whatever purpose it was that they chose to. That is no oneʻs judgment to make on them. We all handle our shit our own way, once we understand that it is the only way that is going to work for us at the personal and singular level.

Much of the self-work going on at this time in our lives is meant to take place, at the level of being that it is taking place, and all because we are being readied for our next level of living and life, which is all and only good, based on the level of crap that we have, as a collective whole, had to endure over this last decade.

Just remember that you are not perfect, that your way is the only way that is going to work for you, specifically, and that trying to make everyone else happy is never going to happen because we cannot keep the entire world happy so long as there are lessons to learn by every single one of us on this planet. So, since it is that this lifetime and every lifetime can be thought of as a school for learning, always assume that you are learning something about you, about your purpose, about who it is that you are meant to teach, to learn from, and to help heal themselves as well as you are doing for you, right in this tumultuous moment and every other one, as well….

Ask yourself, the next time you have the thought in your head the reason why it is that we seem to continue doing the maddening thing of repeating our actions in hopes that those actions will take away the lesson that we are here to learn? What is it in that particular set of actions caused by a particular set of thoughts that any one of us will continue to think is the truth that has not changed, even though we know that with all else that has changed, this, whatever this would be, is also subject to change and the likelihood that it has already changed and you are not yet seeing that it has?

What, my friends, is it that you are learning right this moment that is able to help you understand your own personal turmoil?

Turmoil is the hint.

Life is the teacher….and the lessons learned are ours to share with the world, once it is that we have become, ourselves, the teacher as well as the student.

Aloha Mai E



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