Lately, a whole lot of us are being nudged in a new direction for who we each and all are. Or, we are being given cues to the reasons as to why we have been through so much…
We can believe that we are all alone on this planet, and in a few certain ways we would each and all be absolutely right.
We are alone.
We are alone in our bravery, because no one else can be brave for us – we have to do that all on our own. I suppose that after everything that I have experienced over the course of time that has passed is nothing short of daunting but, the bottom line is that there are things that I have dealt with that should have taken me out, not just of the ball game but out of my body, as well.
Yet, here I sit, still, doing the things that I am supposed to be doing, right this moment in time in my life and while it is that there are a lot of things that I could pitch a serious bitch about, the thought in my head, ever since last Sunday is anything even NEAR defeat and if it is anything to anyone at all who cares to believe anything else about anyone else, I urge you to really think about one thing…who are you more bothered by, or, conversely, WHAT are you bothered by that someone else has told you will happen?
And really, why is it that you believe that they have that much power to begin with?
Letʻs put it this way, shall we? The only time that anyone can scare, harm, control anyone else, ever, is when we let them do that. You see, for a lot of years, there has been this underlying current in my life that is not so underlying. The reason that I would call it this is because when I thought about it in terms of what it meant in the tangible sense, it hurt.
Oh…it hurt, but, not for the reason that I am certain the person or people who orchestrated it all were thinking that maybe I was not being complacent, and that even more importantly, I made certain that, at least in my circle and in my family – and there are 8 of us – we decided, together and a while back, that it was time to move on.
I am certain that there are people who will read this and who will have lots and lots to say about it after the fact and those words will sound like “…yeah right….” and really, I probably no longer care because the frank truth is that trying to get anyone else to believe you after they have fixed themselves on who you are that paints an ugly picture of you (and allows that it is ok for them to slander you, defame you, just be shitty when your name comes up) ….well guys…bottom line there is that it is not YOUR problem, but theirs.
It is not yours to deal with…you just gotta not care…
I have been practicing one phrase and am finding out that I am being truthful when I say “I donʻt give a shit,” and “I donʻt care…one little bit.” I mean every word that I say, every time that I say anything at all. I mean it when I tell someone anything because I know what it is like to believe what you are told, only to have those things not happen for you. I know what it is like to believe that someone loves you, only to have them fail you in a very big way. By this I mean that it is easier for people to believe the ugly things about who we are than it is to believe the good things that we each and all know exists within the majority of the human race.
Now….go with me here, would ya?
You and your people are all part of the human race. By “your people” I absolutely mean your family, and no, it is not theirs to make a judgment about who you are, just as much as it is not yours to make that same judgment on them. Even as this is the truth, and even though (indeed) this is not only what I have taught my kids (all of them, including the ones who call me “Auntie” and the ones who I refer to as being my “Hanai” or adopted kids), this is also the only way of being that they know, these very kids, where I am concerned.
Parents have a HUGE kuleana – and that kuleana is to teach our kids to be as good to themselves at least as much as they are expected to be good and kind to other people. When those other people are not good to them, we have make sure that our kids know that there is the option to no longer have those others or their energies as part of their life experience. We are seeing it a lot in the news, how it is that legions of people just expect kids to follow what they have been taught, but, the truth is that, to my knowledge and from what I have seen with my own two eyes, there are still people who think that they get to tell anyone else what they get to do and who they get to be, including what it is and what it is NOT that anyone will be…*ahem*… taught...
What people have been taught versus learning what one must learn
When we place our people to “go up against” anyone elseʻs people, we are already in a place of fear.
Fear is learned.
Fear is a feeling that causes a person to feel like they are in danger. When our beliefs about anything at all become threatened, and when it is that we feel like we will be expected to not challenge someone elseʻs beliefs about who we are for real is when we will, through our bravado, end up showing people what we are scared of, and it will typically come out as an all out attack on whoever or whatever it is that is the perceived threat.
To what, I have no idea.
Does not matter because it does not change that one thing…that fear is learned.
The only ones that we have biologically are related with the fear of being eaten by a dinosaur, or, more modernly, being bitten by a venomous creature, and of course other things that are completely out of our control within the natural world. Outside of that, we are conditioned to fear things, specifically what other people could do to us. By “do to us” I am saying that we are worried about what other people will say to us that will hurt us, that will cut us up inside, and that more than anything else, we will be witness to. No one thinks about it that way – that what we also witness will have an impact on us. While this does not mean that we have to walk on eggshells, it does mean that it is wise for us to think about the entire picture, and not only what we believe to be “our side” of things.
When we have what is known as “our side” of anything, what we are already doing is causing division. When we are trying to heal from things that have lay claim to property in our thoughts and in our lives through those thoughts, we cannot decide whose “side” we are. There are no “sides” when it comes to Love, when it comes to healing – we are either all in or not even bothering. There are no two ways about it.
We either want things to be better for all involved, or we donʻt. We either want to make things better for the lives of those who are indirectly affected, or we donʻt. We either want to realize the repercussions, or, we simply do not give a damn about what our actions and words will do to affect who and how. We have been taught to win, that if we do not win, then that means that we lose. No one tells us that we do not have to play someone elseʻs game and neither do they tell us that we are even playing. They just assume things, and when we make those things not happen, they do one of two things – they either leave it be, or, they throw more heat on it.
Typically, people will throw more heat on it. Which is all ego, because it is complicated, and when things are complicated, it means that they have to have an explanation. When things are guided by Spirit, things just tend to fall right into place like puzzle pieces. What I Am experiencing right now is NOT what I assume anyone else thought I would. This is because this time, when I was harmed, and when I saw what was of real importance to anyone at all, I chose to take myself out of a game played between an ego, and a soul…
…between an ego and a Soul…
Our ego tells us that we are supposed to be better than someone else, because if we are not first, then we are second, or last. I have no idea what seems to forbid us, OTHER THAN biological impulse, from being part of something, rather than trying to think that we are better than everyone else within a certain mile radius might think that they are. I have no idea what seems to make us believe that we have to be better than anyone else, when what is the most important thing is to everyday try hard to be a good human being without being bad to ourselves. We are not taught to be good to ourselves. We have been taught to sacrifice everything we have and everything we are to ourselves, and we are supposed to, expected to do this for the betterment of the lives of others. When we need people to listen, they do not want to hear what is our ache – they only care about what is theirs, only care about what they will appear as to anyone else and in that regard – to hell with everyone else.
We are taught this so no one else has to be uncomfortable with a truth that they, themselves, did not create, most of the time unconsciously and through the things that tell more than their words, which are their actions.
We are taught that if other people are not comfortable with our presence, that it is a bad thing and that how they feel is our fault, other than a thing that is simply and only different, and most importantly (no matter what your lovely grandmother told you…I promise you her intentions were all good…) we cannot ever forget one true thing – even within the same family, there is never the guarantee that we are going to be each othersʻ kind of people. We are all very unique, we humans are, but at the same time, there are things that are similar and generally the same for us all.
For the most part, people are generally all and always looking to do one thing – not get harmed.
Think about it.
Every person who you know is trying hard to do two things:
- Not get harmed and
- Not create harm for anyone else
There is no guarantee that this is going to happen, either way, and it can and has been, for every person on this planet, the same experience of being harmed and harming, intentionally or otherwise. It is a human thing, to do this, each of us, until we learn to do otherwise.
The other thing that we are not guaranteed is that we will get along with our blood relations. I look back on my own life to this point and there is one thing that has never been otherwise in my lifetime, and that is for the most part, I have always felt like I have been apart from, rather than a part of, the families into which I was born. It does not matter who feels like I am wrong – this is my feeling, and I Am allowed to feel it, no matter who feels like I donʻt have that right.
This is called MY Truth.
Please do not question it.
I donʻt question anyoneʻs…I do not have that right.
If it is not obvious to anyone, we are being nudged towards those who are best suited to our lives, and more, being shown who is meant to stay there. More than that, those who are supposed to be there will still be there, even if they are not there right now – donʻt sweat it. It is supposed to be this way and is this way so that you each and all can finish healing parts of your Selves that, while those others are still in our lives, we cannot heal, because we are having such a great time with these others that we forget – there is work to be done, mostly on ourselves.
And we all know that self-work sucks.
Self-Work sucks okole….big bambucha kine okole….(if you wanna know what that means, hit me up…lol…)…but, it is also the very most worthy work of all.
It is not the sort of work where the pay is in the real – the pay is the better version of yourself, but, first you have to pay attention to your lessons.
The funny thing about lessons is that, haha…we are never aware of them, ever. I do not give a ratʻs ass about it if you think and perhaps have convinced yourself that you DO know …you donʻt. You wonʻt until you have learned the lesson. A lesson is that thing that keeps on showing up in our lives and sucks, and once it is learned, it does not suck anymore. I have a hard time with letting people out of my life, believing that I am why they are mad with me or disagree with me or flatly just think I am lying. When I think further about it, I realize that unless I hear from them, I do not hear from them, ever, and for anyone to pass judgment on anyone else at all, one must know who those others are NOW and not go back in time and disallow people the growing they have done since that time has passed.
People change and learn and we grow. We tend to be apart from others, NOT because we are being taught what it will be like to live without them, at least not all of them. We are being taught about who we are, being shown by them who they believe we are in their lives. Who we are to anyone is not up to us. This is why we are being nudged as we are, being prodded and sometimes outright told to get the fuck out…because we are seeing who is and more, who is totally so not, our kind of people. Other people, namely relative people, even me…we all have this thing in our heads called a memory, and by that memory of the last good thing that we were to anyone is also that other one – the last BAD thing that we were…typically this is where people who want to divide, conquer and control others – and always, people remember bad stuff (again, even me) that has been said of us, but especially our blood relations.
They are who we share just about everything with up to a point in our lives when we are young, and sometimes even well into adulthood. And all the while, and this is where I differ from a LOT of people I share DNA and a grandmother with ….people are just kept in that place, in that memory, where what and who you were a long time ago is who you are all the time. This is so not fair. It is like they are telling you that it is okay that they have become who they are (in accordance with the unspoken familial expectations) but that you who has chosen to be your truest self (and to hell with what everyone “blood” thinks of who you are) does not have that same right because it goes against everything that they have believed about you and everything about you from the time that you guys were tiny little kids. …even the way that you believe in your gods.
While it is nice that you have been following this theory and that religion and this here belief, the bottom line is that no, you have not been. You have been touting it, and selling it, and making believe with it, but you are not really living it. More appropriately, you have been studying those disciplines and making parts of them your own, because that is the only way that our brains can comprehend things – by right of the person who is using them, and NOT by a textbook.
You can sit there and tell people that they are sinning, that they are going to burn in your momʻs godʻs hell but the bottom line is that you are judging others, and that ainʻt cool. You are telling people to get out of their own comfort level and you are making an ass out of yourself the whole time and you do not even realize that the thing that makes you believe that you are bound to them for life is that thing that flows through your veins and is thicker than water.
It can be as thick as mud but the truth of the mud is that it, too, needs water. Water is the thing of life…not just blood, and certainly not the life giving or taking opinion of blood relatives. Ever. Even as this is not about our relatives it is about our emotional and soul ailments and it is the truth that some conditions are passed down genetically, and one of those things …lots of those things are familial habits that need to be changed so that everyone is included.
Since we know that this is never going to happen all the way (refer to that whole “not each othersʻ kind of people” thing I mentioned) and that we know that those who are closest to us know us the best, this does not mean that it is our blood who knows us the best, meaning that it is also not our blood which we can trust the most, as much as we can trust that water is water, and that everyone needs it.
The Bottom Line Truth…
The bottom line truth is that we are not ever meant to stay in the families that we are born into, and that if it has taken this long for anyone at all to have taken the time to hoʻoponopono things within oneʻs own family unit and to reconcile within that unit that it is time to take ourselves and our lives elsewhere, and no one else wants to believe it, that, again, is not our fault.
We are only assumed things about, and it seems, at times, because it is the truth – ignorance is truly bliss for some, namely those arrogant enough to go to the past to see what it is that someone is going to do in the future. That is not giving credence to now, this moment, where everyone actually lives.
Now is what matters.
Now is where you are being this you, not the you who everyone decided a long time ago that you would always be.
Let them have that you in their memories, where all of you belongs – as a memory.
It is not yours to decide if you will be a good memory, or a lesson that they have yet to learn
Think about it.