Every person on this planet has the duty to grow from the inside, out. When we have accepted what is before us, even though we might not like it, it is like we have been allowed to spread our wings and fly
The last year has been a bitch.
All of us has been through a whole lot, and even though it was all harsh, it was all there and in place and took place for all sorts of reasons, with the one most important reason being that when we are in the middle of growing our souls, and we are not aware that this is what is going on, we are more inclined to see the current things happening in our lives as being nothing more than one more thing that we did not need to happen for us.
It rarely occurs to others that the throes of things that suck and have visited our lives and seem like they are taking forever to leave our lives has everything to do with the idea that as humans, we have been taught, as well as it is inborn, to hold onto things, even if they are not good for us or no longer hold any purpose for us – we hang on to things in our lives, even the bad things, because those things mean something to us.
They mean something to us for the one reason that no one tends to really and truly think about, and that one thing is that everything that gets in our faces, so to speak, and continues to get in our faces are in our faces because they are showing us something. Typically, what those things are showing us are things that we have not wanted to face, have not completely been able to wrap our heads around. All we can see, and all we can feel, and all that we can understand is that we are at a loss, even though, in many ways, our losses were instead the gains that we have no idea they are. What we are gaining is not just a better understanding of what it is that we have been through and why we have gone through it all, but more, so that we can see, through those things that are no longer there, the thing that has been left there.
We can call it a void, but that is such a negative way of saying that we are taught what we are taught the way that we need to learn it all – Spirit does not make mistakes, she only makes sure that the things we are meant to learn and that are pertinent to the things that we are here and purposed with imparting through our own life’s teachings, we learn. Not everyone is like I am – I LOVE to learn. As sick as it sounds, once it is that a certain harsh lesson has come to me and once it is that I have gone through that lesson, it is not unlike me to revisit, at least in my thoughts, the things that I went through, picking it all apart to find the diamond in the excrement, find the treasure in the proverbial dumpster behind the thrift store.
What learning through doing does for us
I say a whole lot about bravery and how it requires us to be afraid on some level. It is bravery that helps us make choices that otherwise, we would not. It is bravery that allows us to know what is the truth of any situation, and bravery that, within that situation, makes it so that we are more able to see the truth of ourselves. Bravery does NOT require any measure of bravado, because bravado is not the truth – bravado is simply bravado and bravado is the thing that has brought many strong nations to its knees. I am not talking about bravado.
I am talking about knowing that you are scared to death of something that is in the here in now, and knowing that if the choice to not be brave is not there yet, that nothing blocking our path will change, because we have chosen, at that time, to study why it is, through our own self reporting, by journaling or speaking to one’s own self and soul, that we know we are or are not ready, are or are not brave enough to face the demons which live within our own selves. Being brave is very different than wearing a mask of bravado. Bravado is part of the ego’s arsenal, while bravery is born in the Soul. Bravado is the thing that is needed when encountering others who are also wearing that same mask, but for no other reason than that on their part, they need their mask, because their mask hides their fear and their mask makes it easier for anyone at all to “be” brave in the face of anything dangerous to our ego-selves.
Bravery, though, is that thing in our souls that makes us check ourselves, makes us think before we do anything, and bravery is the only thing in this lifetime that makes us have to make a choice – the choice that is on many levels….as Shakespeare asks “To Be, or not To Be?” and in this case it also includes “To Do, or not To Do,” and “To Change, or not To Change…this is the question…” and is the question that we each have been asking ourselves for weeks now, in terms of what it is that we see ahead of us, that we know is there and that we know we will have to work towards having. In those decisions we find that we have already torn apart the answers and the part that we do not understand being why they are the answers. We find that we have been brave simply by choosing to acknowledge that certain shitty things are part of our lives at the present moment. We have acknowledged that there is a part of life right this moment that is daunting, that has the energy of the giant spider that resides in the closet of our memories and sticks like glue next to the monsters and dragons that are there, as well.
Spiders and Dragons and Monsters, oh my !
We all have fears, and some of those fears are produced by this thing that I have been told is called our “cellular knowledge.”
Cellular knowledge, loosely defined, is the thing that makes us have a fearful reaction, or a good reaction, and we do not know why we are having that particular reaction. Basically, this knowledge is housed in our cells, is knowledge, at least to my own understanding and in terms of how it was explained to me by my Auntie Kalei, and of course, Mama No, and then confirmed by my past class in biological psychology as well as my own private research of how the brain does what it does….cellular knowledge is knowledge that is inherited, at the cellular level, and points to our past, even anciently. What we are afraid of and what feels like it is primal and within us is an example of this thing called cellular knowledge.
Our cellular knowledge is where I have found, through researching it, the part of us that is terrified of things that are alive and well within our Twelfth house (astrologically, it is where all of our secrets, all of our fears, all of our karmic lessons “live.”), the part that our ego-self does not want the rest of the world to know exists within us. Many of us only can see it as a harsh challenge overcoming that which is housed within their twelfth houses, particularly if their natal sun (sun sign) is in the 12th house. This does not mean anything other than that these are the lessons which we are here to learn, and this is the karma that needs to be balanced, and now is the lifetime that you have the chance to overcome those fears and to ultimately squish the spiders which live in the closet of our minds.
Unfortunately, most folks don’t do the work, are not interested in changing things that ultimately will be for the betterment of their lives as they once knew it. Sure, the things that are there and are shitty and just do not feel okay are the very things that have come calling on the each of us to stand up and be brave, to look at it all and make sure that whatever it is that seems like it is eating us alive is really only pointing at the thing that we keep on not looking at and that we are terrified to deal with. I know this particular dragon very well. It is the very dragon that has haunted me, with the prodding of the monster that is sitting next to it, that is also pointing at the damned spider that I thought I squished.
What a lot of us are not thinking about is that most of the time, it is in the darkness that these ugly things come to us and scare the hell out of us. When we are children, we are left comforted by a tiny little thing called a night light. Lots of us have a memory of that very night light being the one thing that, in the darkness, only made us more afraid. On the top of things we knew that, because of our cellular knowledge, it is the shadow cast upon the wall in our bedroom that made those monsters and dragons and spiders look so big and scary. We knew they were not the reality, and even if they were, we knew that there was at least a shoe to take care of the spider. Yet, we chose always to stay beneath the covers, not having to look at the landscape that was our bedroom at night, not having to acknowledge that we were very scared of what the shadows on the walls showed us.
Then we got older, and taller, but that little kid who was terrified by those shadows still lives and is alive and well and afraid, dearly afraid, of the shadows that she sees there, ominous and glowering in the darkness and casting onto the walls in the hallways of our minds the evidence of our fears and what it is that keeps us from investigating and finding out the very truth of things.
The very truth of things is that sometimes, it takes a lot of harshness for us to finally want to address things that we have not wanted to, perhaps not for many, many lifetimes. The bottom line is that once it is that we have at the very least acknowledged that something needs our attention, it is at that very moment that we understand one very important thing…
Humans CAN fly….
Humans can fly. Maybe not in the sense that the owl in the photo does, but, none the less, we can and are able to stretch our spiritual wings, able to lift ourselves above any situation, if for nothing more than to just get the view of the truth as it really is at any given time. The truth is, by and large, and for the most part, very ugly. The truths that we love are born of the truths that we cannot bear to look at. The truth of me is that I am terrified of most people, for no other reason than that I have been given the instance, over and over again, of people who are dark in the soul, people who are under the influence of the shadow cast by the demons in the closets of their own existence.
If we realized that we are able to rise above the excrement, that we are given this…bird’s eye-view…of what it is that we are faced with, and if we can simply just tear it all apart, so that we can pinpoint where it is that the terror within us lives, we are able, at that moment to either be brave, or work on becoming brave, so that we can, when the demons rear their heads again, stare them in the face, knowing that the danger they pose is a danger that we have self-imposed on ourselves. This is not saying that no one has a real fear of what it is that we each and all have experienced. It is to say, though, that since it is that we are who give these demons their power, we are also the ones who can destroy them with that same power.
Once it is that we have realized our own power in terms of acknowledging what truths are there, and once it is that we have decided that we will take on our demons, that we will slay our dragons, that we will squish our spiders with the gigantic slippah of the truth, we realize that the monsters that live there are the very sort that Bug Bunny coiffed in so many cartoons.
Let this be the monster who stays….he’s got fabulous hair …and he makes us laugh hysterically, even as at the same time, we are terrified of him.
Our terror keeps us grounded, but, our bravery allows us to fly…
Don’t be so scared of what it is that was placed there, for whatever reason we had when we placed it all there….we placed it there, meaning that we are the only one who has the power to remove it all…
…one spider at a time…one slippah at a time….
Click on the Slippahs….to visit my website “Just Rox “…