As humans, we are empathetic towards those who are closest to us. Most of us want to help our loved ones get through the hard times in their lives. Yet, sometimes, we just need to Let it Be and Let them Be, knowing fully that Spirit will carry them through the Storm…
Lots of us are going through a LOT right now, myself included. Along with me, the majority of those within the confines of my Soul Family (My Tribe, as I refer to them…hi guys…I Love You!) and who I share a very dear bond of closeness with are also, at the same time that I am, going through what seems so monumental that to get past it all feels like it will take forever or that we will die from this awareness before all is said and done. I so know what this feels like, because I am in the middle of it, myself. I am not alone in this mess, either, and while it is that I know this, it doesn’t make it feel any different. I still wake up everyday, thinking the same thoughts that I have thought for some time now, and I still wait, patiently even, for the day when this will all be a memory.
There are a few within my inner circle who I want to help, who I regularly reach out to and offer it. There are even fewer who I spend a bit of time with who are going through a whole hell of a lot more than anyone else I know. They feel like they are losing who they are, when in reality, what is happening is that they are being given the opportunity, through all of this crap, to polish, refine, perhaps even create an entirely new version of who they are, if to no one else, to their very selves.
It all feels and is so very daunting, the idea that every time that any one of us wakes up in the morning, that we have to face all of the ugly things that we have been facing, lots of us, for months, and others of us, like me, years…decades, even.
There are times, as I stated in my introduction, that we want to reach out, to be sympathetic, to help and to do something rather than just be there for them. Sometimes, which, I know very well, there are things within that energy that is heavy and awful and living within the bones of our souls that we just have to be with, to learn from and to ache because of, because without it, we have no inner drive, no motivation, no energy to get it gone. I know that there are a few people reading this who are nodding their heads in disagreement, who are thinking that I must be nutty or even in denial, but I am not.
I am not in denial about a thing in terms of us each knowing what is going to help us along on the Path that we are traveling. I am neither in denial in regards to there being times in the lives of those who we share our lives with who really just need us to Be there for them, and let them Be in the energy that is all of this craziness, not for any other reason than that they can, through the mechanism of their soul, fuel their feet to make it the distance they need to go.
You see, not all of us will do things in the manner that others will.
We are not alike. We have a lot of similarities, and we might have a whole lot in common, but, this does not mean that the way that we handle how we are feeling is going to be alike.
I don’t handle my “stuff” the same way that my other half does. (Of course, it is because of our genders being opposite that this is so…that, and he is who he is, I am who I am, and while the twain do meet, there are going to be things that are not alike – handling how we feel about any given thing is where the fine line is drawn.) I don’t handle my stuff like my best girlfriends do (even though we go to one another to make sense of things). I don’t handle my stuff like anyone else, and no one else handles their stuff like I handle mine.
This simply means that when the chips are down, and we are not feeling like we want to, when there is an issue that only we, ourselves, can tend to, those who constitute as being closest to us typically want to reach out, but sometimes, it is one of those times in our lives when we are learning something. That something is usually a lesson that we are learning, NOT because Spirit hates us, even though that is what it feels like, but rather and only that we are being given the opportunity to shine through the murkiness, given the opportunity to prove to ourselves that we are every bit as awesome as we have been told we are but that perhaps we are not wanting or simply have a big issue with believing.
Sometimes, people need the bullshit, because sometimes, it is the bullshit that is the fuel for inspiration. Sometimes, the bullshit is the medicine that we do not realize is actually making us more bad ass than we will ever recall being, and it is all because we were also bad ass enough to believe that what other people are saying to us is the truth. Today began as a really very good day for me. The moment that I left my last class for the day was when the shit hit the fan. There was a loss in the family. Then came the question that I get asked by the one person who should know better. Then came the idea that the thing that I could not begin to handle at this time in my life was presented to me in a manner that it is always handed to me: on the sly, through someone else, and this time the someone else was a person who calls me “Mom.” The look on her face was that of anger, of fear, of being tired beyond anything else, and really, what I was looking at was my own face.
Tears streamed down both of our faces, and they were not the sort of tears that soothed, but rather and only kept the fire burning, all the way to a rage, to the point where there would be no turning back if what I’d heard becomes real. Rather than think, the person who thought it was a good idea did not think past trying to save someone else, but it would have been at the expense of my sanity. While I know that there is still the risk of this thing that I was presented with happening, when I think about it in another manner, I find that really, it won’t happen – simply and only because it would be the very worst thing to happen in terms of my own well-being. If what I was told happens, it will not be a good thing. I will remain in therapy, and the person who started this madness will not think tha they are a huge part of the reason why I am still there.
And seriously, right this moment, there are only a very few people on this planet who would be able to help in that manner, and they each know who they are. Thing is – each of them are also right in this same energy that I am, and I have no business even thinking that maybe it would be okay to lean on them. It won’t be. I can’t. It isn’t fair to them. So, instead, I simply just return to that place that is uniquely mine.
We all have a place called “within.”
When we are feeling like nothing will ever change, and when it feels like we have to return to the same vomitous days that continue to repeat themselves, continue to make us nutty with thoughts that we know we would not think if things were not the way that they are now, we can retreat to that place where no one who is not invited there can be. That place is called within.
Within is where we are the safest, and it is the one place where we will find peace and time to think and ponder the things that are happening to us and in our daily lives. Within is that place where we have complete control, where we can go, again and again, not to escape the pain of living, but to embrace it and talk to it and tell it that we have learned what we will from it and then peacefully excuse it from our lives. As easy as it sounds, I know better than to doubt it’s power (Hey, I am still human and I am still going to do things like any other human being would, including have a snit from time to time, cry a whole lot because things happening around me are not that great, rage sometimes because people can be shitty and unthinking more than we give them credit for being), but I also know that it is the only thing that really works sometimes.
When we want to and need to be by ourselves for a few days, and when we know that we are not going to be our best or highest selves, and we cannot run from what is harming us, Within is the place to be. Within allows us to sort through how we really feel. Within is where we can imagine, through visualization, that the things which are invading our lives can be turned into something smaller than our lives make it all feel like it is. And really, there are a whole LOT of things that engulf me, that minimize how I feel about anything at all, minimize who I am, turning me into just another person passing through the lives of people who I have never treated as though they were just here today, and not here tomorrow. Never in my life have I experienced all of the things that I have experienced in a very short time (we’re talkin’ hours here, folks). Not all of it was someone else’s trial and, in fact, the majority of the things that I have to deal with have all been in my life for longer than I could believe that I could deal with it. Some of it for the entirety of my life, such as the thing that I was socked with just a few short hours ago.
Sometimes, we have to not try to help, and just let things be. Humans, as I know them to be, far prefer that those who have our backs also understand that sometimes, the things that we are saying to them, when we think these people do not understand what we are saying are really just trying to figure out, for real, how they can help us. Sometimes, the help will be the hindrance, and even though we have empathy for them because we love them and do not want them to hurt anymore. Believe it or not, for the most part, they are right in line with what they need, and we are right in line with wanting to help.
Sometimes, we just need to let it Be, because in letting it Be, they can Be Who They Are and can rise to their next level of Being.
It doesn’t mean we are bailing on them. It simply means that Spirit has chosen that they tell us that basically, they are doing what we would hope they would to just understand that this is just how we get through some things – on our own, but most certainly not alone.
I Love You All…