Closer…to the heart…

Closer To The Heart - A New Old Start_ManaOBlog

When thinking about everything happening right at this moment, it is not a secret that everything that the each of us do, both in a collective as well as a solitary manner, are all those things that we already do, have been doing, will never not do. It is the truth of us and the Love within us that is bringing us back and closer to the heart of who we each and all truly are.

There is no secret, no mistaking the fact that for the entirety of my life, I have loved learning, loved the very halls of academia, have been curious like a kitten only a few weeks old about that rustling, that thing that is moving, about all the things that I want to have or to form the answers for. This is me. I am a geek. I make it no secret. I love to learn. I love to teach what I learn. I love to know about how things come to be. Most of all, the things that I have learned within the confines of my own life to this point have been my classroom, and I, the Professor.

So, since it is that we all know this much, it would make sense that, too, I am again a college student, this time doing what I had initially set out to do in 2006, which was to earn my degree and move onto the world of the Mad Mind-Scientist, the world of teaching at the collegiate level, the world of the mind and all of the things that it can do in accordance to all of the things happening in our tangible world. That is the laboratory that we all seem to forget about – our lives, and within our lives, we find that there are a lot of things that we do not understand and that we will not understand for some time to come. It is this way because in our lives, there are things that we have to learn, and things that we have to accomplish, prior to the things that we see within, prior to the fabrication of the realities that we each and all were destined for. Again, I know that I was destined for this. If I were not, I would not now, at this very time in my life, have all the support that I need, and to top it off, this time, seriously – my education is being handed to me, almost on a silver platter.

And really…how could I resist?

I couldn’t. I talk a whole lot about the things that we think about, and the things that we come up with that are meant to be the conclusions, the answers to the questions that we each and all have, and in my own life, the question was always “If not now, when?” I would, without my realizing so, conduct studies, do research, ask questions and come up with answers that were rarely ever the wrong ones. When the thought came to my mind to inquire with a few people about returning to school – this time to complete Doctorate level studies in Clinical Psychology, it was almost as though all of the Heavens opened up to me, like the Mother Goddess was literally guiding me there, all this time, from the time I was a private University student in 2006, to today, which is 2015, to go through what I went through, all so that I could be right here, reminding you all that what we do with our time in this consciousness is only relevant if we are doing what we are meant to be doing and doing the thing that we are best at.

I am the best at being a geek, a nerd, the chick with the big giant brain.

All of us took the long way home

Yup. Read that again – we all took the longest route back to what we are supposed to be doing for real, and all of us found out that in the time that it took us to get back to square one, not only did we rediscover who we really are, we also found out that we were each and all correct in the things that we thought about in terms of what it is that we are meant to be doing. We went through all kinds of different things, most of it completely awful, but all of it completely needed, and look at us now.

We are more refined in the things that we see as our destiny. We are more able to see what it is that is the truth in our lives, even if that truth used to suck – it doesn’t suck anymore. There is something to be said of accepting our fate, namely when that fate is not bad, and mostly because it is destiny in the making – our making. There was a time in our collective lives when we were all and each believing that the things that sucked, the things that made us all cry out to the sky above, wishing for the answer that we didn’t know that we all already had. We were taught patience, made to wait for the good because little did we realize we were who were meant to make those things happen.

Lots of us thought we would have to do this all by ourselves, but when we least expected it, there came to us a new tribe, one that was pertinent to the things that were and are the very desires of our hearts, and for a whole lot of us, to this day, we are still reeling, and happily so, because the surprises were that we would not go this time in our lives all by ourselves. We would get to where we are now on our own, but we are anything but alone. Partnership came with a new energy, with a new beginning, and in that energy, we found out that really, we didn’t have to believe what we were told, because really, we all knew the answers, because we all had them. Whether we liked them or not was the lesson – acceptance, and once it was that we each accepted what we thought we never would be able to, the Universe, at first, trickled to us hints and clues to the things that we were supposed to be doing. Once we accepted the truth that became ours, the truth that was never not ours, that is when the fun started.

All of us went through a whole hell of a lot, and in that time, we refined who we are and this is who we each and all became. The people in our lives now are not the ones who we thought they would be, are not the ones that we thought we needed but are surely the ones who are there and in place and for the most of us, the word “permanence” brings with it a new sweetness rather than the terrifying energy of fear it once held. We are no longer afraid to be who we are, and we are no longer terrified of sharing that with anyone else. It is as though the gates of the Universe and the goodness that has always been within us, the goodness that others named “useless,” “stupid,” and many other untrue descriptors finally became available to those of us whose lives seemed to be riddled with nothing but pain.

We chose to become the thing that was closest to our hearts, to become the people who would one day be those who bring to human consciousness the things that have not been here for a long time, or perhaps at all, because those things have not been created. Those things are waiting to be created by those of us who have been through the pain, have walked through the fires of life and have come through them unscathed, and now, too, unafraid. Unafraid of what, you want to know…

Unafraid to rise to the top of our game, and unafraid and unapologetic of being ourselves. We have come to that place in our lives, at this time in our lives, where everything that we do and all of the people in our lives who helped us get to this point MUST BE closer to the heart within.  We are no longer willingly waiting for people to let us down, and we are not able to allow ourselves to accept that which is not at its highest level best. Where it was at one time that we would allow others to get away with not being all who they are in our lives, no longer are we willingly letting people be part of our lives and not be all that they can be. There are those who are still clinging to the things that they think is the right way, is the only way, because it is their way, but in the time that will pass and is still to come, they will be shown that at some point, they have gotta let go of what it is that they still hang so dearly onto, that they want to believe is the only way because it is their way. Those are the people who must realize, like we all had to realize, there are other people on this planet and not all of us are going to do things only one way.

I had to realize that I was not meant for anything OTHER than complete geekdome, and I had to willingly go into that energy of “I cannot fail and will not” and in doing so, I honed my focus to be what it was, only better. There are those of us who are not really very clear on what it is that they are supposed to be doing, what they are meant to be doing, and for the most part, there are those who are not wanting to let go of the things that they believe are the security-producing things in their lives, the very sort that they always thought was the truth of them. Those things and those ways of being are not now, nor have they every been, and neither will they be the thing that they want to see those things as. It is all an illusion, all something there that they have put there to make themselves feel better for having taken the easy way out. I am proof that the easy way out is never the right way out all of the time. It is easy to let someone else do things for you, but it is not that easy to allow them to support us in the manner that we need, which really is NOT materially.  We have been given the tools for that, but there are still a lot of us who are refusing to go with the Goddess, refusing to do what they are the best at, that they excel at, only because they don’t want to learn. They obviously believe they know enough.

Obviously, I am proof that we can never know enough, can never try to not rise high enough to the point where looking down no longer has the same affect as once it did. If still you must look down, realize not that there is no way to rise unless you can see where you are going. Once you know that you can go back to who you really are, looking down to find someone who you are better than, smarter than, “whatever” than loses its shine because you are no longer looking down at others, but rather and only looking down to help them up.

Once you can do that without judging them, there is nothing left for us to do but to rise.

The weight of our own judgment on and of others is the heaviest thing in the world, because we tend to carry that weight with us, believing that the only way to get to where we are the top of our own game and in our own life is to stand on the heads of others so that they do not rise to who they are. You were not born to be a dictator. You were not born as the ultimate judge and jury. You need to return to you, so that you can be closer to your own heart, and so that those who you want to be closer with will no longer fear the weight of whatever it is that you are disapproving of in them.

It is time, right now, to be closer to the heart of yourself. You cannot expect to be closer to the heart of anyone else unless you are able to willingly love you as you are, accept that maybe you are all you have thought you have always been and accept that at this moment, there is no one better at being you, no one better at accepting you, no one who can do for you what you can do for you, even if it is merely being closer to your heart..


Medicine Dance Book Cover Front Draft RJB

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About ReverendRoxie22

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