Success in our lives requires a measure of clarity, no matter how small that measure may be. It is not when we are clear about things that we are at our highest finest best, but really, it is when we are pushed to have to find another manner in which to gain clarity that we are not aware that we are actually learning to gain momentum and moving at the speed of clarity.
“Moving at the speed of clarity…”
Of late I have been a bit of a hermit. Of late I have been pondering where it is that my profession is going to guide me to next, and of late, there is not a lot that I have been very clear on.
I am not the only one, either.
There are a lot of us who were, not very long ago, very precisely clear about what our daily life should be and look like. We became glued to our routine, and we became comfortable in that daily surety that told us what time things had to happen and if those things did not happen at those certain times throughout the day, at least we would know why those things did not happen at the time that those things typically happened. And it has been happening to all of us, even though it seems like it is only happening to the each of us when we each think about what it is that we are each seeing happening in our lives.
What we are seeing happening in our lives
I just finished texting someone about how I am sick of shitty people. I am sick of being told by perfect strangers that no matter how energetically and morally right I am about something, technically, I am wrong, and that I should just shut up, because technically, I cannot change things and technically, I should just give it a rest. This does not, however, excuse people from being very shitty and in their shitty nature, they like…no…they LOVE…being either absolutely vague or horribly terribly mean and absolutely shittily clear about how great they are in comparison to us.
It is not just the vagueness that drives me and lots of people nutty, but is also the shitty nature of people who just cannot seem to get it through their heads that being right, technically, does not give a person the right to be shitty about it. I am sick of shitty people.
That I am sick of shitty people is one thing, but that I am now able, just after these last two weeks of feeling like I have HAD TO read about my own sins, hear about my own lacking in certain areas of me and my life, been told that what I give is not enough, and after also being told not to listen to any of it because those people are not me, it hit me that what was going on is I was, and am, being taught clarity and not by shitty people, but by the Mother Goddess herself.
How the Mother Goddess has used shitty people to teach me Clarity
We human beings like to hang on to things that, in their present state of being, are loved by us in the manner that they are at this moment.
In the manner that things are at this moment – well, evidence is all around every one of us – in some area in each of our lives, we are being taught what needs to be let go of, are being taught that others who are closest to us are also going through their own clearing out stage of life, and in that process, we will end up meeting up with lots of shitty people.
In fact, in that process, others within our own soul tribe will appear to be one of these very same shitty people, but the truth is that if you are seeing this shitty nature in others who you share a close bond with, they are mirroring back to you that they, too, are clearing out the shitty energies in their lives. It is not that they are gone, but that they are, like you are, clearing the shitty energies out of their own lives.
They might be clearing out their reasoning that because they have always been an asshole, they have the right to remain being one, and they are, like I am, like we are all figuring out that that energy and way of being needs to change, and if it does not change, that relationship surely will and could likely end up with being less one person in that energy with us. That some people might have been like this for many years and that being like this might have served them well during one stage of their lives, it does not mean that they have the right and neither the excuse to hang on to being that way.
If I chose to remain being shitty to people because that is just how I have managed to keep myself safe from emotional harm in the past, it is not excusing that I am that way and trying dearly to no longer be that way. It excuses nothing, but defines the measure of what it is that I have to do in order to rise above it.
It doesn’t excuse it, it defines it
I should have titled this one “Clearing shitty people out of our lives,” but …nah….and nah because we have all got the very tendency to be shitty people. This is not about people, per se, but about the energy that people have from time to time.
*ahem* … this is not about people and their nastiness. It is about the energy that we each and all can experience having when we are exchanging energies with them in any manner at all. We have the tendency to be horrid to other people, and because it might well be entertaining for us on some level and in some sick and sordid way, we choose that energy of challenge to the emotional part of the energy that is in other people regarding things in their lives at this time that we are not very well understanding about them and their ways of being.
That we know this about ourselves is one thing, and that we behave accordingly to that energy is quite another thing, but, when we are choosing to be that way and it is for other reasons having only to do with how we are feeling about anything at all, what we are doing along with being shitty is defining our energy in a physically and tangibly clear manner, but, also in a manner that spiritually, might confuse someone else.
When we are in that shitty feeling energy, our own energy will match and detect that energy in everything around us, and especially in what we perceive as being the weaknesses in other people. When we are prompted to stay quiet and observe, most of us choose to open wide the mouth and allow the words of shittiness to pour out, and we don’t realize that we are doing so. In doing so, we end up hurting someone else. We might not have intended that to happen, but it happens a lot, and the other side of that is the person who we have hurt and all of their shitty energy that they can choose or choose not to respond in a shitty manner to that shitty energy.
How we define how it is that we feel at any given time is not up to other people, is up to us, but when we are feeling that way, we are not aware of what is happening. We are not aware that we are being shown through them that in some manner, that energy can no longer be with us, because that energy impedes our growth. That energy that makes us feel like we have to engage with anyone about anything that is technically not their business is part of this challenge energy that we bring to others. Even if we don’t realize that that is how some folks will take it, that is what is happening, and you are not challenging anyone else. You are challenging you and you are defining how you will take on that energy so as to diffuse it and make it usable, and if not usable, then understandable.
Understandable by you, not the other people.
This is where the “it defines it” part will make sense, I hope.
We are not now and neither will ever we be defined by anyone else, and if we believe what they have to say about us and want to also believe that someone else’s opinion about anything that we are,or are not doing, is evidence of who we really are, that right there is the evidence of the Mother Goddess making clear to anyone at all what needs to happen.
It is not that you need to work on you so as not to be a weak ass because someone else said so. It is the Mother Goddess reminding you through them that you are NOT like that at all and that you need to figure out why it is that you are hurt by what they said or did and in that hurt energy, you are being prompted to do something about it to fix it.
Again- not for them, but for YOU.
When we are feeling like we have been attacked, right in that moment, even though I know that I am not good at it, I am telling anyone who will listen to me that, in that moment, it is wise to stop and try thinking about the answer to this question: ” Is it about them needing you to do what they have stated and that will make them feel better about your situation, or, is this about you responding to how their response has made you feel, or, is it both?”
Is it them?
This is a tricky one, because no matter what, it always only boils down to ourselves, but, it still begs to be asked – were we given a certain energy by anyone else that would cause us to experience the feeling that they were, at any time at all, trying to make us feel hurt, or were their intentions actually well placed, even though their words may well not have been?
In this instance, we have to think about who it is that is telling us anything at all, and if this person would elect to hurt us on purpose. We have to look back in time to how our relationship has always been with them and then really think about if they meant to hurt us with their words.
The likelihood is no. No one who really and truly loves us would hurt us on purpose. We all know this is the truth, unless who you are hangin’ out with is some sort of sadistic creep. Seriously, and not even if they back it up with “it is for your own good,” because if it gets there, the only question that I have for you is…
Is it You?
If you are at all like I am in that, I am VERY sensitive, and sometimes, depending upon who it is that does not realize they have somehow hurt my feelings, people say things, just being who they are, and what comes out of their mouths, while it is not meant to harm us, we might end up with that harm anyway, and it won’t be because they have purposely told us something to hurt us or to get a reaction from us. It will be because, really, there are some of us on this planet who are, in every way, shape and form, very dearly sensitive to others in all manner – from their energy to their appearance. We are affected by others in many ways, and if we love them, the hurt is scathing and felt way deep inside of the bones of the soul.
This does not in any manner mean that they mean to hurt our feelings. It happens this way because that is how WE roll. It is not up to anyone else to learn to figure out why it is that they have said anything that they have said, that they might not know or even believe has hurt our feelings – it is up to us to be able to take stock of the thing being talked about and delve into the deeper meanings behind what it is that our loved ones are trying to tell us. I will be the first to state that it is not that easy being an Empath. I am a very strong Empath. This means that for the very life of me, I cannot help but be affected by the things that are said, or the things that I feel, or sense, or act on. This is the truth of many other people, too. This is where drama is borne from, and where it is that Empaths are actually meant to thicken our skin a little more.
Again…no easy task at all being able to deal with how we feel if we are not sure that what we are feeling is actually our own energy and our own feelings, or if it is something that is being projected onto us by someone else. It is very difficult, I will say, to discern, sometimes, what is my stuff versus that which I am feeling as being someone else’s stuff.
It takes practice and lots of getting your heart broken by the people that you love the very most. It takes a whole lot of self-talk, a lot of self-salvation and most of all, it takes a lot of self-love to know that the ills of the entire world are not yours to carry and neither is every energy that is felt by every person in our lives who mean the most to us.
Is It Both/All of You?
Sometimes, when we are in a group of people, or when we are one on one with someone, things can be and have been said that rub us wrong. It is not really that hard to think about combining the two things that you just read, discern through it all what is real and what does not apply, and really think about things in terms of what the energies, which were mixed and like each others’, were telling us and about whom they were telling these things about.
Sometimes, we need to understand that what we are feeling might not be ours. Sometimes we need to stop taking on all of the sins of the whole and think about the one, and when there is one other person aside of us who we consider to be the One, it is more important that we do this, so that we do not go into that darkness that is “poor me,” and where it is that the things that we say have got to be thought out before we say them so that we, in turn, do not try hard to make someone else feel bad for things that are not theirs to feel badly about.
Clarity in how we communicate with others makes things much nicer. When we stop trying to impress the world with our big fat vocabulary and our intellectual prowess, and we get back to the basics of our energetic selves, we find out that what we thought was something hurtful might have actually been a cry for help from anyone at all. Help in the form that is our understanding that sometimes we each have to do things, things that require our focus, and things that take our immediate attention away from the things that make us happy, and happy all the way down to the bones of our souls.
If we cannot get out of our own way to see things from another angle, we cannot begin to hope that trying to help others’ with their “angles” will be of any good value to them, and it will not ever be of any good value to ourselves if we are not willing to see past what it is that we think was directed toward us but was really intended as information for us to process.
A LOT of this used to happen between myself and the one person who I do not want to hurt. Then one day, he told me what he needed and sometimes what he needs is to be able to get through things that happen to pile up on his shoulders and that sometimes, our plans can’t happen. I’m okay with it. I didn’t used to be, but that was for me to deal with, not him. So deal with it, I did. Sure, I won’t lie and say that I liked having to put aside those plans, but I will state that because of that measure of clarity, I absolutely know that it is not something that I did or did not do and was not anything that could be avoided. It took me a little time to deal with believing this, but I know this is the truth. Good relationships have the tendency to grow stronger by taking certain components out of it. One of those components is allowing those closest to us to be both the human being and the super hero by removing our tendency through our own arrogance and our disbelief that we are good enough to be with other people who want us in their lives. I didn’t get this much at first, but it is now the thing that makes me thrive
Now, I won’t lie and tell a soul that I don’t, at first, get a little butt hurt – but, of course I will, and I likely always will, but, with time, the time that I spend within my own thoughts regarding this thing about me will just do what it is supposed to for me, teach me how to better get through this sort of thing and really be of good help to the people who live within my world.
Without clarity it cannot happen and will never happen.
The most saving grace of my own was to finally, one day, not so long ago, take off my rose colored lenses, open my eyes to the wisdom that is clarity through proper discernment, and understand that I am not the biggest sinner in the world and that not everyone’s ills are my cause.
It took me a lifetime to get where I am now, and if it takes me the rest of this lifetime to get where I need to be, it won’t hurt me to keep moving forward.
Onward and upward, I say…
The Path…clear ahead of me…ahead of us all…
I Love You All