The word “Surrender” carries with it a very negative energy. What we have been taught is weakness is actually a strength, because it takes a strong person to simply just let go and let Spirit do Her Thing.
If you were to ask a complete stranger the question, “when you think about the word, ‘surrender,’ what picture comes to your mind?”
The answers I got were not so shocking.
Of course, it was only one complete stranger who I asked this question of, and the other four people I asked I have known for a very long time. The majority thought about the word “surrender” is not a positive one. Each answer allowed me into the others’ energy fields, and each of these people all gave me basically the same answer – that surrendering to the things that happen and that they have no control over is not an option because they all want to believe that they have or had the best method of getting out of a jam.
When I made it obvious to them each that what they were saying was missing information, it was they who became upset with me, because I would not agree with them each in the thought that over every single little thing that happens in our lives and that sucks miserably, we are who has complete control. To each of them I also stated that if they were inclined to read and continue reading whatever it is that they have been reading by new age “gurus” and their best selling books, that they were only getting half of the story and that really, in many of those books, what is not there is the one common thing between us all, and that common thing is that really, there will come times in our lives where things that happen out of nowhere come to us without a simple fix and that sometimes, when those things happen, it is meant that seriously, we ride it out, surrendering to the Flow of things.
The Flow of Things
I have written more than one time about surrendering and how much I dislike doing it. It is not that I am not willing to do it, but that I do not know sometimes what it means to surrender to the situation.
For a long time, the situations, at any given time, called for anything but surrendering to it, but it was not the actual occurrence that I needed to surrender to, but instead, the idea that sometimes, no matter how great the idea, and even if the idea that would help with the situation worked, it would not work until the thing that we are meant to learn from it has been learned.
I have a whole lot to say about someone who abuses their partner in life, and I have a lot to say about the person and the people who, even though a few of them might not have been how they were because they wanted to be that way, but because they were taught that way. (Which, even if they were taught that way, we are all able to learn new ways, meaning that in some of their cases, it might have just been a cop out so as to excuse themselves from having behaved like less than stellar humans)
Sometimes we are not able to do a single thing about anything that has happened to us, or that is happening to us as brought to our awareness by others. Sometimes the things that happen are collective, meaning that it happens to more than only one of us. Sometimes, we are powerless as to the things happening due to the fact that perhaps physically, we are not capable of defending ourselves, and sometimes, as sad as it might be to think about it, it won’t matter, because sometimes, we are just meant to go through things.
Yes, even as children, and that is the part that hurts the most. It hurts because as children we are made of nothing but the purest, most beautiful light that there is, and then someone comes along and begins to put their darkness on us, and while it might be that we have, in that moment, been harmed, it is also at the time when we are given what could be thought of as our first lesson in Spirit. As sad as that seems, it is the truth.
…sometimes, we are just meant to go through things…
…and it is always with purpose that we do.
These last two weeks, as I am sure you can all tell, haven’t been very easy for me. It seems and feels to me as though I have been fighting my own demons for so very long now that I cannot see it when someone else’s are trying to teach me a lesson, and this time it was a lesson in fear, because this time it has everything to do with what I do in this lifetime.
Even though all of me knows, down deep in the bones of my soul, that the option that I took was the one that would, at this moment, be the most fitting, be the most comforting and yes, quite possibly the very sanest choice I have made in a little over a year at this point, I am still scared to death, even though I know that that part of what I do needed, not to be put on the back burner, but really, to be no longer in existence.
While I know this, and while I know that it is the thing that has to be done, I am still terrified, not at the loss, but at what I will do with all of that time that taking this option affords me with. See that? This is how we humans are taught – that more is better, but I know that in this case, the better thing to do was to step back, and as much as I could do so, look at things from a logical standpoint and see where it was that what I am doing, as opposed to what I do, and opposed, also, to what I am very good at – the only thing TO do was simply just…accept that it has to be this way.
Acceptance of things is not easy for us
Okay, so it probably is not a secret that I am talking about one part of my work in this world – the coaching individuals part, that is. It is something that I have watched happening over the last year, and for the very last time, I chose to no longer feel that way about the things that I do in this lifetime as my work in the world. The last thing that any one of us wants to do is to not love our work in its entirety. I love my work in its entirety. When it happens that I start feeling a bit weighted down by one part of it, lately I have just begun to ponder the feeling and question it as well.
This past week was no exception, and really, the signs have been there for a while now in that I know that in many ways, I have grown past the thought in me that I have to do this part of my work just because that is the typical way that we who work in the weirdness have basically done things – we do all that weird ethereal stuff, and then there are the tings that we do that can be thought as being side jobs within the weirdness, but always and only it is primarily the weirdness that is our work and NOT the technical one-on-one with coaching clients.
I have always had a very dear love for words, whether they are spoken, written, sung, signed – words are passion. It is evident in my work, evident in my speech, and evident in the choice of movement coupled with music in so far as hula is concerned. I love words. Words are my friends. Words have been there for me as long as has been hula. Words never fail me and words make me know that I am not stupid…I love words.
Unfortunately, sometimes my words are not taken for what I tell others that they are, and there are others on this planet who like to think that words are meant to be used as weapons. What those others do not realize is that I am not the one who should be attacked with words, with my own words, no less, when it comes to the barest fact of things that when we use our words with other people, we need to remember that they also can hurt others. I am not a person who chooses her weapons foolishly. My words, I know, because of my broad knowledge of them and my somewhat extensive vocabulary, can confound people, can hurt people without my realizing that they have hurt someone.
I find, too, that the energy from the words coming from others, specifically those who I have coached over the years, find their way to that place in me where I am forced to defend who I am to these people, and when it gets there, and the people are just not willing to see their own self in the things happening in their own lives, it is not time, at that moment, to become ass hurt. It is time, in that moment, to take stock of what the bigger picture is telling me, and this time, the bigger picture told me that my time for proverbially holding the hands of people and being “mommy”, in their eyes, perhaps, who ought to know better has come to a screeching halt.
Of course, this just about did me in. I am one of those people whose madness is in the fixing, not of things, but of thoughts, specifically in other women, and particularly women who have, in some manner, either been wounded in some manner, or, have wounded someone else in some manner. When I find that everything that I have given to people in the form of teaching them to restructure a sentence using different words which mean the same thing but also which carry a lighter vibration to them, does not work, and it happens again and again, and I am left feeling like somehow it is my fault that these people…these…women people…have not learned a damned thing, I start to second guess myself and the validity of my work.
This is what has been happening since January, the trickling away of students who, in their tangible realities, would like things different. I did not really think about it too much until these last two weeks when it seemed like everything just came crashing into me at full speed. It seemed like everything that I have gone to college for, and everything that I have gone through, and everything that I thought I had pinned everything on at this time was for nothing. Yet, when I looked at it again over the last two days, the picture, while it did not change immediately, it ultimately changed.
It changed for me because I did not bother to do the same pattern of things that I would in the past, even the recent past, and that pattern typically makes me crazy in the brain looking for a new way to promote my coaching, but none came to my brain. When it is that I, specifically, have no new thought about something, about anything, it means that things are evolving and that it took me a minute, not to know this, but to accept it.
I have known for a long time that I would not be coaching people primarily, and in all of that time, the one thing that I did not bother to look at was that over that period of time, I had been already preparing myself for it. Of course, tangibly speaking, I had to prepare myself for an even leaner time for me, even as there were other things that were supposed to happen that have not yet happened, and it is because of this thing that I did not want to do but am nudging myself little by little to do, which is to not – NOT surrender to the situation, but rather and only surrender to the Flow of things, because in the flow of things is where not only the seeds of change are, but also, the relief from knowing that we took that moment to think about what it is that IS, rather is NOT, serving us.
And that is what this thing that surrender, in terms of our inner world, is all about. When we choose to allow the flow of things to happen FOR us instead of seeing it all as only happening TO us, we find that there is great freedom in that which was perceived as the loss. I forget, sometimes, that when I speak my intentions, and I mean what I speak for real, and there is conviction behind it, emotions backing it, and that visual of it all coming into play, I am a very strong intuit, and a strong manifester, and all of those things are backed by very Strong Medicine – that of my being the survivor of a life time of a broken heart caused abuse on many levels, brought by many people.
I never wanted to tell the world about what happened in my life, but here I am, and I never wanted to allow the world into my private hell of the brainspace, but again…here I am. And what does that have anything to do with surrendering to the flow of things?
It took me a bit of time to really think about what it was that my coaching was doing, but not for the people who I served, but for me, and I found out it was really not doing a whole lot in terms of adding to my life, the things that I wanted, because I have already done that. The reason that this flow is what it is right is now simple – I find that in my life, I have the important things that are needed and that what is not needed are these extra bits and shards of the wreckage that is my ear being filled with other peoples’ tragedy. This is not saying that I do not care about those people, but is saying that I care about me.
Caring about me means that I have to take measures to not do what does not feel right and balanced, because those things that I try to force will just throw me out of balance more. Caring about others is just who I am, but at some point, and when it becomes that they have become, as my clients, dependent on my advice and my knowledge, so as to get along in life?
Surrender to the Flow, guys
We will know when it is that we have to change course, always. We will know when things need to change because we will not feel like what we are doing is doing a thing for us, not in the material sense, but in the soul. When I started feeling like my coaching clients were absolutely draining me of my every bit of energy, and when I would come away, not only from a session with some of them, feeling completely weighted down, I knew that it was time, by the Goddess’ method of making me want to hide in a cave for a year but not finding a cave in which to do so, to begin to surrender a few things.
I thought for a moment about it all, and realized that the fear of not having that possible income is what was driving me to continue to help people and at the same time was robbing from me the vital energy needed for the rest of my day, let alone life. I thought about how hard it has become in these last few weeks to even get in touch with some of them, and how much it seemed like I was simply and only just running in the same circle, with the same people over the same reason. I thought about how it is that in my private life there are still some things that just need not be there anymore and how much of my attention was being placed on people who would never do for me what I have even begun to offer to them. I thought about how much time I felt like I wasted on some things, and about how upset I would be coming away from those sessions.
When I thought about it more, the more it became apparent that the reason that it felt like I was sinking is because I was hanging on to things that were weighing me down. I realized that sometimes, we hang on to our own ideals about what the end should look like, and when it doesn’t look like it, we need to look at it from another perspective, and the perspective that I chose this time was simply and only as me in my private life. I saw how some of those peoples’ issues were touching my own life.
Lots of folks want to think that surrendering to the flow of things means that you have to give up something that you think you might need. It doesn’t. What it means is that you are willing to forgo feeling obligated to certain energies just because of something tangible, and in my case that tangible thing would be my title as Reverend. Just because that is what I am, it does not mean that who I am has to give in to the things that would make anyone crazy, and to me, what is crazy is just trying hard to make things fit into a life that those things so clearly do not fit into.
When we feel like we have to work or force something to go our way, the ultimate result is always going to be temporary, and will be so even though the tangible things will remain as said tangible thing.
What we don’t think about when we are buggin’ over surrendering to the Flow of life is that the things we think need to change do not change…we do. How we feel changes, and how we approach things changes, and what we do in regards to those things also changes. This is why things happen in our lives that we don’t understand – so that we can, with some effort, go with the flow. When those things that enter into our lives seem not to fit where everything else fits, it is time then to really look at that one thing in relation to the rest of it all.
Seriously, learn what surrendering to the flow really means, and then, like breathing, just do it…
I Love You All !
Click on the volcano to read “A Kahuna’s Perspective,” a Linkedin article about Po’e Hawai’i’s fight with the scientific community regarding yet another unneeded telescope on our Sacred Mountain, Mauna Kea
Click on the flag to read “Love Has No Religion,” about equal marriage rights
Straight…LGBT…doesn’t matter…yes, I’ll marry you…click on the picture for more information