The problem with feeling like you are entitled to anything at all is that, most of the time, you’re wrong
Yup. I am on a tangent today. Between trying to catch up on my blogs, and trying to answer the phone, the emails, the text messages, the chat messages, from all of the lovely people who I work with, work for, teach, is that, always, in that demographic of people, there is bound to be at least one of them who is going to feel some sort of entitlement to my time and my teachings.
I must state now that, after the last week that I have had, the LAST thing that I expected was someone getting in my face, over, of all things, ANYTHING having to do solely and completely and only with ME.
Thing is, there are many more people on this planet than I realized who actually live in an air of entitlement, and they do so for one reason – they really, truly do not know any better, because they were not taught any other way than to expect things from other people, especially when it is that they feel like they are getting anything for free.
First of all, free is anything BUT free.
If there is one lesson that I learned a very long time ago, it is that really, anything that is free, it really isn’t free. When we think about it a little more, we find that even things in life that are told to us are “free,” that everything in this lifetime comes with a price.
You read it right, folks – no matter what your own energy of what might be or what might not be “free,” we find that in that “free” thing there are some costs.
The “cost” of “Free” things
Let’s go to an example that I LOVE the most – the freecycle.
The Freecycle is an activity that is all about NOT throwing good, usable things away. It is like recycling, but, you are not going to a recycling center – you are either meeting up with the giver, or you are going to a set location that the giver assigns to the pick up, or, it is being dropped off. MANY people use the freecycle thing so as not to have to deal with the guilt of filling landfills more than they already are.
I have been freecycling for YEARS, and the one thing that I noticed the very most about anyone who is scoring on the freecycle, it is that when someone has been granted the claim to that item, if that item is NOT where it is told to them it would be, or, perhaps, as it happens from time to time, the item no longer is available to anyone to have, these people get irate, get hostile with the giver, tattle on them to the moderator of whatever freecycle it is that they belong to, and over what?
NOT just the thing that they are whining about not getting, but more, they are also let down, and they are let down because they are no longer getting that stupid thing that they were told was theirs.
They end up butt hurt because when they “won” that item, they felt entitled to picking it up and claiming ownership of it. This is fine and good. I get it. I have had to not go and pick up plenty of things, all because the owner of the item decided that it was no longer up for grabs. While it is that I have been disappointed, I cannot recall EVER having a problem with thinking that I was entitled to ANYTHING, namely NOT an explanation as to why it was that the owner changed his or her mind.
But, this is a foreign thought to a whole LOT of us human type beings, because from the time that, at least here in the states, we were all children, we have all bought into the idea that, at one time or another, we were entitled to something. It could be an explanation, or it could be an apology…hell, it could be a stupid tangible thing on the freecycle, but at one point or another in all of our lives, we each have felt entitled to something.
This is where the “free” in getting free stuff is somehow no longer free, because at this point, we have an emotional investment in something that someone else, someone who might not have any sort of control over what the hell it is that we are snitting about, told us we could have.
I am all for getting my hands on free stuff, but I learned a long time ago that free is anything BUT free.
You must remember that, at one point, the things that we think are free in our lives were had at a cost, and in some cases a dear cost. You must remember that, at one point, the things that we take for granted were things that were never to be taken for granted. You must remember that, at one point, there was a time when your own life was built and had on the premise that you worked hard to have it.
You were free in the idea that you, alone, would be who would make certain that you remained free in your ability to choose what is, and what is not, right for you, and you were and still are the very one who, at the very bottom of it all, decides what you will and will not freely do, be, give, have, whatever. That is the only freedom we really have, which is called the freedom to choose, and in certain circles, is labeled as being “free will.”
It is your own free will to feel like you are entitled, and it is your own free will to choose to be a douche-bag about anything at all, but it is not your free will to decide for others how they will feel, how they will react, or if they will react at all. You can try as you might to make your point, and you can try to bully and needle, but the bottom line is that, no matter what, if there are outer entities, of any kind, that have to be dealt with, deal with them you will, even if you do not want to.
You are entitled to your free will of choice, but you are NOT entitled to becoming an ass hat if things don’t go the way that you feel they ought to
If there is one thing that I know too much about, it is the ability that human beings have to turn into people who they aren’t, even if said people do not realize or even know that this is or has happened to them.
And it happens in the most subtle manner possible. Abusers…yes, I know I said I would try hard to not write more about that part of my past, but it totally applies here…abusers are the type of people who can, over the course of time, turn good people into good people with very bad attitudes and awful personal views of themselves. I know this for sure, because I have been there.
I have been there, in that energy where I knew who I was and am, but too afraid to really act on anything that I thought and now know I have to do. It is my free will choice to do with what I care to.
Of course, this free will of choice was not something that, when I was “in the throes” of being victimized, really thought was mine. It is what I know to have been the entitlement to my own life and my own choices that this person decided, quite by his own, to take it away from me, little by little. It caused the destruction of self, the destruction of self-trust, the destruction of me, over a period of twenty years. It was not until my oldest was 19 did I finally, forgivingly, decide that I needed to have me back.
Without me, I know I would be dead right now.
When it comes to our own lives, and our own choices, and our personal preferences, it boils down to our free will. It has NOTHING to do with what we think we are owed, what we feel like we are entitled to.
A few good examples of entitlement worn by others are as follow:
-The neighbor who, because they are nice to you, feels privy to just walking onto your property, pick flowers, fruits, vegetables, and believes that it’s all good because, you know, you’re neighbors and allowing them to walk all over you is somehow their entitled version of being neighborly.
-The employee who feels like it is owed to him, just because he has been with the company for a gazillion years (even though he is a shitty big mouthed moron), a company car, an expense account, accolades and a promotion.
-The adult child who feels like his parent(s) owe them anything, just because said adult child feels like it is meant to be that way.
-The spouse who feels as though he actually owns their mate, because it is not on paper, making them their property, or
– The spouse who feels entitled to their spouse’s unconditional adoration, even if they’ve not been the greatest human being on the planet and could never amount to anything near being a good person, even if they tried to be one.
These are just a very few examples, and I might be a little on the irritated side of things right now because right now there is this …electricity, and one that carries with it great, awesome changes. Along with these changes are sure to be things which will come to each of us that we are just going to really LOVE having as part of each of our own personal awareness.
On the other side of that is the …well, the other side, where the entitled douche bags in our lives will get what it is that they are truly entitled to, and that part is not up to us to choose for them, because already they have, by their own actions which were spurred by their own sense of entitlement. They have chosen whatever it is that they have, and the way that those things happen are in the manner that is their not being able to deal with the disappointment which comes with a feeling of entitlement.
Yeah yeah….it is totally the reason that I used the photo I did for this particular lesson – to show you all what an entitlement is, and in terms of that particular entitlement, it is like all others – no matter what it is that you think you are owed, someone else always has something different to say about it. Sometimes, it is an entity over which we have absolutely NO control. The only entity we DO have control over is our very selves.