ATTENTION LIGHT WORKERS ! If ever there were a time in your flesh-and-blood lifetime that you wanted to let the black cat outta the bag to play for a bit…now is that time.
I never really thought about it until two days ago, when one of my very best friends in this Universe and this Lifetime, Dannie, down in Louisiana, calls me from a tat parlor down in the Bayou state, to tell me that she was gettin’ her moth tatted onto her back. At that same time, what I was doing here on the west coast was writing down recipes (Read: Spells) for Shamanic purposes. While that might not seem as though that somehow, it is a big deal, in reality, it actually is. Dannie and I have always been that set of two friends who have been able to finish each others’ sentences, have been able to crawl into each others’ energies from the moment we met.
Until yesterday, I had no clue that her getting that tattoo, and my playing with The Craft in so far as creating my own elixirs is concerned, was the biggest hint to what the hell is happening now.
What the hell is happening now
If it seems as though you are more inclined to do things that perhaps you were maybe a little scared to try, or maybe if you are normally very reserved and now you wanna go out and about in the planetary thing and take a walk on the wild side, or perhaps if you can feel the rock and roll bad girl angel clawing her way out, you are not alone. At this time we are learning to balance who and what we are. For a long, long time, light workers have been so busy trying hard to make sure that our light and our healing energies are doing what they need to that we have forgotten that we have a balancing act that we are meant to maintain. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and sometimes, that good thing, as I am learning right now, is gonna be “icky-sweet” without the balance of the dark spiciness of the Shadow Side.
Not Darth Vader and the Dark Side, but close enough
The Shadow Side is where the darkness in us lives and really, we need our darkness because without it we cannot begin to know how to deal with it once it comes to us. And always, it will come to us. Sometimes, we are given clues and hints as to what it is that lives within us through other people. In my case, that darkness of Shadow within comes hollerin’ at me with a Southern Drawl and sounds very dearly like my girl and twin-fish, Gator, who the rest of the world loves and knows as “Dannie.” In that same manner, Gator’s darkness that is her comes howling at her like wolves barking at the moon and it is in that Devil-may-care Southern California “hey bud let’s party” thing that I apparently, from time to time, have goin’ on. That darkness that howls is what is me at this very moment, and it is meant. I went from being that bad-girl angel earning her wings back, and Dannie was like the Amazon Priestess…while we are still very much who and what we each are, I will not lie to anyone and say that I am not enjoying this trek through the Shadow that is Me. It helps that I have had her here, proverbially right next to me, and vice-versa, so that, over the time that has passed, we have essentially taught the other about how to become our best dark and shadowy mistresses to the dark side that we can…and the truth is that we are both such well trained Pisces’, that it is almost a little like Halloween…and y’all know how much I LOVE Halloween…
Trekking the dark without sacrificing the Light
Without our very own brand of light, our own darkness will engulf us to the point where it will seem as though we are suffocating under the weight of who we are in the Shadow. I am all about healing, from within, and much like people will take on the tiniest bit of the flu virus to avoid the flu, so, too, will humans continue to seek out only the Light and forget about the Shadow. We need the Shadow, and we need it so that the Light within us each will be able to shine that much more gloriously.
Think about it in “Mom terms”
There is such a thing as too much of a “good” thing. When know when something is just way too good to be true. We will feel it physically if it is, and more so if it is not. This is what the Shadow serves us with. Just like there is way too much candy that any 3 year old will consume, there is the idea that, with our physical eyes, we see actual sunlight, but if we look straight at the sun, we will be blinded. (I have had to drill this one into my youngest and also my baby sister, who, as a tiny little girl, would gaze at the Sun, sometimes int he middle of the day.) This same thing also is true regarding the Light within.
We are told, again and again, after “guru” upon “guru” (whatever), that we have to shun the darkness. My own thinking is that if we shun it, we will not recognize it, and in order to know it, we have to be it, and if we are going to be it, now is the time to do that. I am not saying to sacrifice live animals (harm ye none, guys…animals especially included) or dance around naked under the moon unless it is time for you to do that.
What I am suggesting is that it is not wise to deal only in the Light. We have got to acknowledge the Darkness. There are a couple of you reading this who will get it when I start talking about the Dark Side. Yes – That Dark Side, and the thing that I always saw or felt with Lord Vader was that he was the most delicious version of …ghastly…and really, you could sense the depth of his own darkness. When revealed, the Light shows us how hideous he is. This is his pain, and it is also his turning point. In other words, he didn’t choose the Dark Side. The Dark Side always existed, and it exists in us all. We cannot deny our Shadow, cannot deny that some of us have wings that are better worn black, like that of Poe’s Raven.
Dealing only in the light robs us of knowing the pain of life, and healers HAVE TO know the pain of life. If we do not know the pain, we will never know what it will take to be able to get through it when it comes to us again. More than that, we will not be able to guide others through it. Most of the time, those who heal, simultaneously hurt. Some of us do it better than others. What I saw in Darth Vader was simply that his Darkness never was not there – it always existed. He is not wrong about being Shadowy, because there are parts in the movie where, if you are paying attention, you will notice that he has his moments of pain, and it can be felt. It is not that he turned to the Dark Side, because the Dark Side never did not exist. It was not that he had no Light – he knew what it took to be a Jedi. His Light was in his skill as such. Thing is, Vader was just better at being always in the Shadow.
This applies to everyone. We are all better at being who we are in the moment that we are that person. Sometimes, we find out that we are better at one thing over something else – something that everyone else would probably be a lot more comfortable with, but maybe not you. You might not want to be wonderfully sweet to people right now, and really, if that is how you wanna roll, go for it, but do so quietly. You have to live with you, not everyone else. If “evil bitch face” is where it’s at for you and that is the energy that you are drawing down, and your life circumstances are not the greatest, I am certain that I am speaking for more than only myself when I say that you need to roll with it and the world can kiss your ass.
The Shadow self as the dark and rich fertilizer of the Soul
Haha…yep, I went there, but it is the truth. When I talk of the Shadow, I am not talking about that murderous, almost-an-ape bullshit. I am talking about there is, in every person, another side, and that other side is …strange. If you thought in terms of beliefs, and if you were, like I am, learning facets of the Craft as they apply to what is your own…I don’t know what to call it…”thing” in the world, and you knew that I stray more often than I do not from things which call for me to do anything more than think, and visualize, and focus, and send energy and light. Rarely am I not the only thing needed other than a candle. Yet, there are times that the curiosity of how, scientifically, those things all mesh together in an elemental sense, end up with the results we end up with. It is my own way of safely doing what I was warned as a child that would send me straight to the pit of Hell.
Fine. Cool. Good. Dandy. I’m still gonna do what I am gonna do. This is what this all about right now – doing what in the fuck it is that we are going to do. If you will go through past blogs, you will see that there has been a stretch of time where I just decided to not add the word “fuck” to what I am writing. It shouldn’t bother people. And well, if it does, it does. The Shadow about which I am writing is that part within us that is the catalyst. It is that person who you are who can be dared to do just about anything, and you might just take that dare, even on a double. It is when Loretta, my alter ego, the one who is a 6’2″ tall dominatrix in a hot pink spandex cat suit, white thigh high boots, with a whip in one hand and a leash in the other, and she is staring at you, daring to misspell words and disobey her (kind of a different take on the sexy librarian, if you will).
Sometimes, that Shadow side is the outer self. In order for the Shadow self to materialize in the real, the Light side has to allow it through. The parts of our selves which seems to be the parts which we would rather not allow the world to know as also the truth of us are those same parts which are begging to see the light. This is why we are, at this time and all at once, feeling a little out of sorts.
Basically, we have all worked toward working in the Light that we forgot to party, we forgot that we could strut our shit, make no apologies for it, and when the learnin’ was over with, we could sit here tired as hell and just reflect on all the growing we did and be all…pansy-assed about things, or…we could look at the things that have changed in many ways, and know that it was the light that brought us to this point and now, it is time for the Dark to come out and play. This does not mean that my witches and alchemist friends are going to go out into the world and actually try to turn people into toads. It means that they will try a new “thing”…a new discipline in Magick, perhaps one they’d thought they were not strong enough to do. It doesn’t matter, just go for it.
No, sweetheart, do not go out and slit peoples’ throats, and do not go out doing stupid shit.
Yes, please, absolutely, get on out there and do what it is that you are supposed to be doing. Hey, it’s like this – if you have to sue a friend because they didn’t keep their end of the bargain, then that is what it takes. Your darkness would be you NOT being the one wearing the Welcome Mat T-Shirt. That might seem like a bad thing, like it would hurt them, but, hey, it is in writing, and y’all know how I feel about that, right?
Yup…you do…*cracks whip*
Haha…I Love You All !