We want to avoid the pain of life, but what we are not thinking about is that in everything that we are supposed to be learning, when the pain of our lives is present, the only way to learn from it and to get through it is to go through it.
No one that any one of us knows actually likes being in any kind of pain. We silly humans like to believe that we should never have to go through any kind of pain whatsoever. The problem with this is that, without pain, we cannot recognize what is not pain. The other problem is that Life is very painful at times and there is no way out of it other than ignoring it or dealing with it. We can ignore it all we want, but it will still be there, reminding us that we hurt.
Really, that is what we are trying to avoid – more reason to hurt. What we are failing to understand or perhaps to accept is that the more we avoid it, the more evident it becomes that there is something not right with us. We can push it away, not deal with it for a little while, which is okay, but there are those among us who care not one tiny little bit to have to go through the lessons born through the pain which is never going to not be there unless and until we acknowledge that it exists within us.
Pain comes from anywhere and can be caused by anything at all. Pain is the reason that so many of us are angry, are depressed, are all those things that we see all those commercials of all those pharmaceuticals which every single one of them seems to cause more worry than relief. People who create those drugs like it that there are people who walk the planet and who are also in a chosen state of perpetual pain. For those companies, no one in pain means that for them there will be no monetary gain.
Some of the pain we are feeling, each of us, and some of the pain that seems to carry on and that we CAN do something about, we write off as being just another little nuisance. I am not talking about the sort of physical pain brought about by injuries that anyone ended up with from something like a bad car wreck or something like that. I am talking about the pain that is emotional that, in an example, can be brought about by the feelings and the memories and the emotional energy that was created by the car wreck. While the physical injuries might have left a person permanently and physically damaged, the emotional injuries caused by the physical damage, whether anyone believes me or not, IS the pain that we can do something about.
I know…there are some people reading this whose pain seems so overwhelming that it might be a little bit of a lot of years that that particular pain, at the very little least, is whittled down to that of a dull and annoying ache. Please – don’t get me wrong..where it is that a parent has lost a child? That is a pain that I am sure will never leave a person. I am not talking about that. I am talking about the pain which has been brought to us via an event in our lives that has been brought to us and through us as well as other people by Spirit that we are meant to learn because that very and particular pain was meant to be a part of our life experience because without it, we cannot go on to fulfill the mission that we were sent here to complete.
The causes of our emotional pain varies between us. My own emotional pain, I knew, was not meant as only something that I had to go through for perhaps a past life Karmic debt, but more, so that I could take that negativity and the energy that was created by the abuse and turn it into usable positive energy. This is not something that is easily learned overnight, and it is not something that we can just not go through when the lesson and the pain of that lesson present themselves. You might find this a bit fantastical to think is the truth, but really, your lessons and your pain from those lessons is part of the thing that people, for many generations, have named as being “The Process.”
In healing circles, the words “The Process” are akin to the words “have patience.” Patience is that thing that we all know comes from having been impatient. When we are impatient for the results of why it is that we have gone through this painful period, and we get frustrated because the answers do not reveal themselves to us like we would prefer they did, this is when we are open and ready to receive who we are but the only way to do that is to actually open up ourselves to the Process and the things that are included in said same Process.
Within this thing called “The Process” are veiled versions of the pain that we have experienced to that point that mirror the original progenitor of the actual pain that, at the time, we may have believed would not be stored in our memories forever. Our processes don’t work that way. Humans are capable of recalling things that we do not realize we have been reliving, again and again, through the only memory that we have created by that one event. People who have been through the worst of what they can think to be the worst are masters at dealing with The Process. It is because through the things that we never wanted to look at having caught up with us, making themselves known, with an absoluteness, that we have to deal with these energies, have to go through what we have to go through or we will not ever learn anything, not only about what is happening that would make us think back about the truth of the pain, but more, how what we are refusing to learn applies to the here and the Now.
I am going to say it, and you will just have to deal with this next thing
I can think of but a scant few people who know that we are the ones who are the progenitors of the pain that we allow. Pain is a given, because life can be a pain in the okole. Even as it is this way, it is not that we are given or take on these pains, but that a whole lot of us want to hang on to them without trying to utilize the energies inherent in them. We want other people to see our pain, know our pain, and rather than our just being fine and dandy with the idea that someone cared enough to even inquire about it, we want to give these people the entire play-by-play and really, no one needs that.
When we do that, what we are really doing is validating that pain, making certain that we will never be rid of it if we should choose to give it too much power. You can think I am lying, or think that I am outta my gourd (which, really, I am, but it isn’t a bad thing), but this is the truth. This particular truth, I am saddened to say, is the very truth of (ugh) a multitude of women all over the planet who seem to want to believe that since, for generations, we have had to fight for our rights to be equal, that it is the fault of men everywhere, and this is not the truth.
These are the sort of women, and I am really getting somewhere with this, who, for the very life of them, cannot see, seriously, what they need to see that exists within themselves that they are seeing all around them, and perhaps even within their own relationships, not only with their partners, but with everyone they share any sort of time and emotions with. I say women because I am sure that when I was a much younger person, I, too, felt like things that were wrong in my life were somehow someone else’s doing. This was not a lie, at least to me, that what I went through and that someone else had caused to happen, somehow, was them being out to get me.
It does not occur to us when we are young that we have to bear the Kuleana of how we feel about what happens to us and that which is presented to us, by us, but through other people.
It could be anyone, really, who we believe is only meant in our lives to be that one person who makes our life awful. This is not something that has to be permanent. This is something and a way of being that has potential to be permanent, but is also something that carries the option of our being able to do something about. This is the thing that not a whole lot of women in particular understand, that not everything in their lives is brought to them by other people without a purpose, and lots of the time, those “other people” are the men in their lives.
If more of us would shut the hell up, listen to what whoever is saying what to them and rather than getting all okole sore, take the truth that belongs to someone else, namely if it is their life partner or spouse, and really take in what it is that this other person is telling them, they might find out, without a doubt or even a shadow of one, is either the EXACT same thing that they are feeling, or, is the very exact opposite to what we are feeling. Whatever it is that we are feeling inside, those closest to us will reveal it to us as their silent response that is the other person’s physical and mainly facial appearance.
The body and everything about it does not and cannot lie, ever. Our physical selves will tell people what is the reality of what our inner selves are going through. We can tell our friends and those closest to us that there is nothing wrong, and at first they may believe us, but the truth always comes out. Emotional pain is something that festers and reveals itself in ugly ways. Some of us go through a lot of anger, and all of us, no matter what, and without our knowing we are doing it, reveal the truth of us subconsciously through our actions.
Eventually, those actions become words, and those words become our reality through our breathing the breath of life into them, believing them and making them become real. It’s the truth. Think about it. Think about the last time that you thought something in a fleeting moment of perhaps desperation and suddenly that thing that we said that we might have forgotten having said is now alive and in our faces. For the most part we are not aware of this. We do not think about the things that we bring to our lives that bring us pain. When the pain arrives, we think about all of the people involved in everything that we have said, thought, and done, and rather than assigning how we feel about things at all – anything at all – the Kuleana of those things to our very selves and learning from the pain and going through it, we blame everyone else.
We, again, do not like pain and we would rather not have to deal with any at all, but that isn’t going to happen. Life is filled with pain and instead of thinking about how we will deal with the thing that causes it, we want to push the pain away and avoid it. We cause ourselves more pain by avoiding it, by pushing it away. We want to believe that the pain we feel is someone else’s thing to deal with, but it isn’t. It is ours. It will never not be ours. It will stay ours until we can face the demon we have named “Pain brought to us by other people.” While technically this is the truth, what is also the truth is that we give away our own power, to people who should not have it, and we keep giving it away in hopes that getting rid of it the way that we have always will be the right thing every time.
If you have not yet figured out that that is not the right thing to do, that the right thing to do is to face the pain and address it and have meaningful and serious intimate conversations not only with the pain, but more, with our own Selves, we will never know what is the absoluteness of truth that is our own. We create the energy for the pain through our words, through the things that we think and do and whatever the intent behind it all is. When we intend to hurt, we will hurt, and we have the nerve to blame others for that hurt that we called upon to teach us something. When we intend to heal, the Universe comes to us through other people who will show us what is possible if we are honest with ourselves.
Being honest with ourselves and knowing that everything in life has the same sort of ability to heal is how we start the ball rolling. When we choose to walk through the pain, hopefully for the last time, at least with whatever, at that time, is giving us any pain at all, is when the Process has begun. If we can manage to look at who we are when the pain sets in, we are half way to where we need to be. When we look in the mirrors in our lives, and we see there that which also lives within us, we can better utilize what is our own to make a big giant difference, not only in how we feel, but more, how we feel about who we are for real.
That alone is priceless.
I LOVE YOU ALL
Proceeds to benefit The Monday Night Mission
and The Reservoir Dogs Sanctuary