Multitasking seems to have been the thing that we who were born in the 60’s and 70’s know a little bit too much about. When it comes to learning and knowing about what will work and what will not work in our lives and in the grander scheme of things, it is wise to do things one thing at a time.
When I was a little girl, my mother taught me, through her actions,that the way to clean my room was to pull out everything from underneath my bed and out of my closet so that I could see what needed to go where. For years this was the way that she’d done this, and I did not catch on until I was about 9 that what she was really doing was not separating my things to be organized according to priority. She was throwing my stuff away. By the time that I figured it out, that she was getting rid of my stuff because she did not want to pick it up anymore, I started hiding things in places where she had no idea where they were. I became masterful at hiding my stuff, almost to the point of hording them.
Then one day, I think I was 16, I found the treasure trove of crap that had collected over the years and discovered, at that time, that all of those things had a place and a purpose in my life, but that place and that purpose were seen to. I took a nice little walk down memory lane, and then proceeded, even tearfully about some things, to, not so much rid myself of unneeded things, but clearing room for other, newer, more appropriate things. Yet, not even this came to my brain at the time that I was 16.
When we are youngsters, we have no idea that unless we are some sort of sappy goofball who likes hanging onto EVERYTHING that reminds us of the sweetness which is inherent in childhood, the things which applied, the things that we need, things, ways of being, everything tangible and intangible, have to be organized, have to be given away or thrown away if they are no longer needed, have to be neatly tucked away in the places in the attic or the closet until someone else, usually our own kids, find them.
This same thing applies to who we are. There are things and ways of being that no longer apply. There are people who have been in our lives whose mission and purpose in our lives were seen to a long time ago, and some of us cannot see the growth we have made, so we assume that the growth others have made is somehow not a good thing. It is at this point where we need, dearly, to take stock, not only of the people in our lives and in the roles they have played forever, but more, of ourselves. There are things within us which no longer need to be. There are memories which a lot of us hang onto, people we think need us who really do not need us, things we no longer can make use of, ways of being which no longer fit, and all of it needs to be seen to.
When we look at it all, it is very overwhelming. We don’t want to look at the messes we have made, and we don’t want to see the things that we know we should no longer hang on to, but we hang on to them for dear life, and no one tells us that we shouldn’t. No one tells us that we shouldn’t because those who would tell us this also have issues with simply letting go of things that no longer hold purpose or meaning for us that is appropriate to the things that we are doing with and within our lives at present time.
One thing at a time
The overwhelming part of everything that we know we need to be rid of are the very things that we also, for whatever reason we might have, are afraid to let go of. For some folks, the things that they cannot let go of are things that only feed their ego, things that they may have accomplished long ago and things that they are still depending on to keep them, at least in their own minds, as top dog. For other folks, the things that need to be let go of are the things that, at one time, served them with the warmth that is the love that they want to believe comes from other people, but in reality, they cannot face their own lack of self-love, so they look to others to suffice them. We all have these things inside of us, these parts of ourselves that seem to not make sense, but that we also dearly love, sometimes beyond reason.
There are some folks who, for the life of them, cannot let go of their own self-hatred, and they blame everyone else for it, believing that their own life sucks because of everyone they have ever let in. But really, their life sucks because maybe they have made whatever it is that they want to believe is their “revenge” on someone else the very most important thing in their lives. Now, how sick is that?
What kind of sick person lives but only to make things more difficult for someone else, and only because the sick person…we will call them the hater…feels so very compelled to have the idea, but not the energy, that they are right and well placed within the thought that they have to make life hard on the people or the person, for whatever foolish reasons they have, and for what?…duh….BECAUSE THEY WERE WRONG TO BEGIN WITH!
This…”wrong to begin with”…is an example of things that some people just need to let go of, to be rid of, to no longer bother with. You know these people. In fact, we all know people like this. They are egotistical and arrogant, believing that they are making no mistakes, even as they are ready and willing to point at everyone else’s. They like to bring up the past, and they like to make things appear as though they did not one thing wrong. These people act as though somehow the world was created because one day they would be born. They are the type who, for whatever reason they have, seem to like being able to run their mouths without also engaging their brains.
Stupid things happen when people who not only do not engage the brain, but who are also so very pissed off at that world and they choose one person upon whom they will spread their ilk and pass their poison to, in hopes they may be able to break their “victim” down into digestible portions and eat them alive, starting with their heart and soul.
These are the people for whom the word “organization” means nothing to them, for whom the word “discipline” has never really entered into the fray. They want to do everything they want to do, all at one time, without the idea that there has to be made room in their lives. If we can think about the state of things in our wakeful hours, and we can see there the clutter that is around us, we would know right then, also, the state of their inner world.
The state of our inner world is mirrored in our outer world
It starts small and begins to pile up over time, the “collections” that a whole lot of us have, and these “collections,” not only are they tangible, they are also intangible. Some folks hang on to things for the specific purpose of having a memento to commemorate a certain time period in their lives. Then as time crawls by, these…mementos…have a habit of becoming a collection, and again, as time crawls by, that collection amasses to be the size of a mountain that we never thought it would. This is also what happens when, and especially if, we have any sort of emotional attachment to any of these things that we have amassed.
People assign too much emotion to things and not to people. I am also guilty of having been just this way, myself, and over the years, I have learned, forced by Spirit even, to let go of things because my ego wants me to believe that I need those every things to help me never forget how those tangible things have some sort of emotional bond with me. First of all, they are things. They may well be comprised of energy, but they have no feelings, no personality, nothing that any living and breathing thing would. Those things are not the people who gave them to you. Yet, we hang on to things, and what we really want to hang on to is the memory and the energetic release we would get from those very things.
Our things represent times in our lives when we were happier, when it may have been that our lives seemed to be so much easier, so we hang on to things, believing that the energy of them will somehow be what we need. It isn’t. In fact, hanging on to anything for purposes of keeping an emotional bond with someone who is alive on this plane who would not or is not doing the same thing for you – that is actually not a good thing. If we have been hurt by someone and we decide to hang onto them in the manner that is keeping mementos, even as I am sure we all know that it is the good stuff, not the end of stuff, that we are holding on to. This is all fine and good, but there are limits, and people do not like limits. People like collecting things, because our things, we like to believe, make us feel like we are worthy and in some cases, make us feel like we are better than are other people.
In fact, people like collecting relationships, and there comes a time in everyone’s lives when we have to clean the closet of relationships, not for anything other than that within them, no matter what kind of relationship it is that we are talking about, we are bound by the heaviness that is someone else’s bad energy, someone else’s pu’olo and someone else’s Kuleana to deal with. We are not responsible for everything that happens within a relationship, and there are people who have, many times over, even now, in my life, who seem to believe that it is fine for them to have all these people in their lives, even if these people are draining the life out of them.
The sort of uncluttering I am writing about is not only the sort that we all call “Spring Cleaning.” It is also about everything, everyone, and every draining energy that we come into contact with when we encounter people who can be considered energy parasites. Energy parasites are those people who totally have the ability to raise their own vibration, but who also, for whatever reason they may have, don’t realize that they are, through their constant neediness, their constant expectation, and their constantly being this version of themselves, are energy parasites.
They show up into our lives to teach us how not to be siphoned of our good energy, and some of us think we love them, but the reality is that if they have their cake and eat it, too, and you keep on getting hurt, and they keep getting mad, while this is all great and good if you are in junior high school, when you are older and have established at LEAST enough years for you to be able to discern things without being told, and you keep staying on that stupid roller coaster, and you allow them to stay there with you, or you decide that you belong there with anyone and that they do not have a choice in the matter…either way…parasitic is what this is called.
And yes, right now is the perfect time in our collective lives to start taking stock of things, to see there what is useful, what makes our hearts joyful and our spirits want to fly, and more, to see what is still there and that we no longer need anymore.
There is nothing stating, anywhere, at all, that you have to do this Spiritual Spring cleaning in all one big lump. We are talking many years of hurt, of anger, of pain that we all chose to not push through, to not deal with, and now is the very best time at all to begin to see these things and to ask yourself the question of how useful something is that is great in our memories, but in the here and the Now, they are not worth hanging on to, and are not worth hanging on to because hanging on to it all only hurts us more.
Yes…even and especially the anger…
We know what we no longer need in our lives. We know, too, that patience is involved with anything worth having, and that if it is really meant to be in our lives, no matter how long it takes (I totally know personally about this one – and yes, it was worth the wait, the search and mostly, the clearing out of things that were no longer useful to me as they had already served their purpose), so long as we are ready within our own selves to have that one thing, that one thing or something better will be part of our lives.
…and it only took me twenty years to figure that much out…and I got BOTH…the very thing I wanted was way better than I had imagined.
All the tears, all the pain, everything that I pushed through like a bull through a rickety wooden fence…all worth it…
If impatient me can wait that long, imagine what all of us CAN do…
I LOVE YOU ALL !
by Roxanne Cottell,
coming soon to lulu.com !