Integrity. It is something that we all know about, that we all need, that many people require as a staple in their lives. When you say you are going to do something, just freakin’ do it dammit!
The most memorable time that anyone paid me the compliment of having a very high, very strict level of integrity about a whole lot in my life was when I was teaching hula to about 5 dozen children who all lived in an arid golfer’s Disneyland, back when I lived there, called Helendale. I recall that day quite vividly. We were rehearsing for a luau that my hula babies and I were having for our halau so as to show the community the truth about hula, about being Hawaiian, and most of all, how it is that Love can go a very long way within a group of people. My initial “thing” at the time was not only to have an income that I controlled, but more, that I really had a mission to show people that even people who do not get along, through the employing of Spirit and the showing of Aloha by me to these children who all so very well learned this, can and do get along as long as there is a measure of Soul and Aloha present.
Yet, that was not even the thing that still, I know, these now young women understand. It was what one of their mother’s told me that took me quite by surprise, that told me that what I was doing in teaching these children what I taught them, which was Love and Aloha, also included my teaching them about a little something that is a big fat deal and is called “integrity.”
I was not expecting to be paid such a very high compliment. I mean yes, my darling friend Kim (who was the person who kept all these children in line for me, and if not her, then her daughter Sasha did) always told me that I operate my life with full integrity. When this same thing was said to me from one of the moms who was a former sheriff, I was taken aback. You see, me being who I am and have always been…well, anyone “police” and I, while I will be cordial to them, we are not the best of friends. However, it was this woman to whom, to this day, even though we are no longer neighbors, I refer to as “Kamala,” whose definition of me and my level of integrity caught me quite by surprise. If anything, I thought that maybe my antics on this particular Wednesday at hula would make it so that I would have less haumana (students). Nope. In fact, it made the number of haumana I had to jump to 5 more kids AND it changed the way that I thought about me and my …ability to have “antics”…markedly different.
It told me a whole lot about myself, such as the idea that until that day, I did not realize that I was not the only one who thought I was hella cool !
“…say what you mean…one thing leads to another” (The Fixx, “One thing leads to another”)
You may be wondering why it is that today there are two blogs. Well, the reason is that the blog that was just posted a little bit ago was finished two days ago. I was just lazy and distracted. So there. What brought me to this blog post is what happened and has happened over the course of the last two weeks and is NOT what happened that took me twenty years to see to happening.
Nope. In fact, it is the very OPPOSITE of that energy (which is a good thing…nay…great thing) and it has brought me this feeling, not of dread, but of a deep seated anger that should not be there but is. It is one of those things that can only be brought by the thoughtlessness, by the selfishness, by the arrogance of people who want their way without also taking into account what other people deal with when we are told one thing, and then the opposite thing happens.
When someone tells us that they are going to do something or that they agree to terms that they have set, and we agree, that is a contract. It may not have a signature, but it has an energy that is of hope, that is of things becoming what they need to be and that have been borne of these things that we hear other people telling us that they will do for us. It is when that word is breached that not only has what other people planned, based upon another’s word or action, but WILL also impinge upon what perhaps a whole lot of people need to happen.
This is why our integrity and our level of it is important and should be valued and guarded more than should all the gold in the Universe. If we cannot keep our word, then we must back it up, somehow, with a good reason as to why it is that we might have thought we would be able to take on more than we should. Today, at least for me, is no exception. I was supposed to see someone this evening, someone who is one of the most important, most significant people in my life and who has been for a long time. When it came to me that there were things that I have to work on in a working sense I wanted to kick my own ass. But he understood. This much I know.
My point is that when we cannot do what we said we might be able to, for all the right reasons that we might not be able to, and we choose to step out in bravery and risk anyone else being disappointed by what it is that was the initial thing we were supposed to or at least planned to do, and we find that the other person or people understand our reason as to why we have to change our plans, it ain’t so scary. So long as we are truthful in that energy, nothing bad can happen.
And nothing bad did happen.
Do not let the fear of disappointing anyone else reduce your level of integrity, ever
I would be remiss to make up any kind of excuse for anything that I do. People who know me also know it about me that I try my very hardest to live up to everything that I say, everything that I think, and everything that I Am. We humans have that neatobandito ability to trust people. It is the same with all of the animal kingdom. Like a dog who has been beaten one too many times, a human will also become somewhat “hand shy” in the sense that they will not be able to get too close to people because the reality is that they have, for a long time, been let down so much that in order to trust anyone at all we have to have tangible proof. And who could blame anyone who has been let down enough times to know that they do not want to go through that same pain again?
This is what happens when you have found yourself as someone else’s victim, and then, too, when a person finds out that even though they had help being someone’s victim, it was all on our own that we survived. I know this is the truth because it is a truth which I made it out to the other side, yes, alive, but very guarded. Why? Because it is one thing for a person to give the impression that they care about you a whole lot, and quite another to come to the ugly truth that is that yes, they cared, but in a “pet and owner” kind of way. This was the biggest disappointment of my lifetime. I knew then what I am so very well aware of now, and that is that not all people on this big giant rock we call home are going to operate with integrity.
I know this one real, real well. I was taught (read: FORCED) to be much like that hand shy animal, because that is what I used to be treated like – property. It is not something that I dwell on OTHER than when I am writing about these things here because even though that guy was a bastard (and is now a bastard who is on his way out of this lifetime…so say I, dammit…), what I learned about me, I will not say was worth it, but I will say that without these sorts of bullies in my life who stayed for long periods of time, I would not be who I am now. Who I am now is someone who I really like. I would hang out with me if I were not me.
When you have been told one thing, and given another, and that other thing is not anywhere close to what you have been told you would receive, this does not speak about your own level of integrity, but the other person’s. When we tell anyone what we are going to do, especially when it is on their behalf, it is wise that we also choose to go through with what we said we would do.
Not doing what we say we will do not only creates mistrust in others for us, but also gives us a LOT of Karmic debt. When we talk about our Karmic debts and we tell other people what is wrong with our lives because of that karmic debt we are not realizing that we are who has created said debt. When you tell anyone that you will do something on their behalf, do what you say you will and mean it. Do not go into it with the idea that you have to do anything for anyone because the moment that you choose to not think of someone else taking up too much of your time is also the moment in which your truth in the energy that is Integrity will be the brightest thing shining through.
Continuing to tell people things because we think they want to hear it is one thing, but doing so with the intent of only putting them off for a bit longer until we finally come with it and tell them that we have no intentions of doing what we told them we would is when we are going through our own Karma. You read it correctly. When you are out in the world, and you are trying to get anything for yourself, when you go about making promises that you do not intend to keep or are promises that you have neglected to tell others is subject to your changes, not only are you a damned liar, but at the same time, are a liar who has chosen to actually go through more of what you do not want to go through.
That’s right – I said it, now deal with it. When you promise people anything, make sure you can come through with it. I say it often, that what comes around goes around. I say it often, that we should think better about what it is that we, ourselves, would care to go through on behalf of others, and when I say it I am NOT talking about the sacrifices that are made from love, but are the “sacrifices” that we are told about by these people who already lied to us just so that they could get ahead, no matter what and no matter how they had to come to the end where they are now.
I know I am right, because right now there is this guy who, for the very life of him, is morbidly unhappy and is so because of the things that he refuses to accept were brought to him BY him. It is very easy to wish bad things on others, very easy to be the person who, through his own foolish ego, chooses the easy way – the way of screwing people out of what is theirs so that we can have more by taking away from others (and they have less). What is not so easy is trying to understand, and then to forget, the things that we have said. I say it all the time, that we need to really think about what words we are saying. We don’t realize that whatever it is that we say we want for someone else WILL be something that we end up going through ourselves.
How do I know this?
…there’s this dude…he is dying…
Need I say more?
Living with Integrity means that we can live by the rules which we expect other people to live by, which are our rules, and which we, too, should be living by. If we are not willing to be all that which we expect others to be, we do not have the right to expect others to do that which we refuse to do. We are not so great that we do not need our own measure of improvement, our own measuring stick by which we need only find out where we land on it.
Because when we live by what we expect others to live by, we are only given that which we give, no matter what, good or bad. If we give other people the sameness of free will we expect, good or bad thoughts and energy, good or bad anything at all, we will also be given that exact same thing.
Go look in the mirror.
There’s your proof
I LOVE YOU ALL !