There is not a whole lot more that is quite as delightful as knowing that all this time, you were right !
I won’t give anyone the reason why I feel like this. The people who need to know why I feel like this, know. (Okay, so I gotta tell April why but that is neither here nor there). I thought I was dreaming, but it turns out that I have been handed proof that we are powerful.
I will tell you all that this, proof, was twenty years in the making, that it took me quite by surprise the way that I was shown my own power of manifestation, by the way, and through whom, that proof showed up in my life as soon as – maybe two or three weeks ago, now? I don’t exactly recall when, I just know that that which was recently manifested has made me think about one thing – if I can manifest something as big, beautiful, life changing, gentle, important, into my life, I can manifest anything, really.
The best part is that you can, too. I know this. Because just as I was handed that proof, basically on a proverbial silver platter, I, too, served as being said same proof for someone who is fast becoming a very big part of this second half of my life, and really, I could not be happier. I am guarded, but that is to be expected, and it is because of all the other garbage that I have gone through just to get to the point where really, in my mind, I don’t know if I am coming or going – manifesting one’s own desires, in short, kicks ass.
Like a shiny new bicycle
All of the horrible stuff that we have all gone through has not been without a good enough reason. I know, I know…lots of hurt still swirling around in the cosmos, and I also know that as soon as we can face that demon of hurt, as soon as we can see, too, that the void we feel is slowly becoming a void no more, and once we can accept where we have been, we can guarantee that sooner than later, things will begin to change, and suddenly, we feel like a kid on Christmas morning when they first set eyes on that one thing they so truly, dearly, with everything in them, wanted.
I know that it is not impossible to have everything in your life that you want. I sit here, completely beside myself, not only on the idea that what has occurred began twenty years ago, but that my theory of thinking back to that time, that whatever it was that broke us back then, in the time that has passed by, we have, to this point, created the answer to the situation, and the only answer was that we each needed to believe that what we needed would be also what we wanted. You will have, in the time that has passed, either come up with the reason, or have manifested the only answer. I manifested the only answer. For a long time there were things about me that I believed, and they were not the nicest things to believe about one’s own self, but believe them I did.
Then two decades went by, and here I am, telling you all that while I know it is the absoluteness of the Pisces, that we believe, it does not only apply to the idea that yes, we believe in faeries and elves, monsters and demons, but we also have a gentle powerlessness that is simultaneously our own mechanism of empowerment. It was through my weaknesses that I made it this far and this long, through those things that were not quite perfect that the one wish of the Soul came screaming back at me. Loudly. I will admit to wanting to dive headlong into the fray, but stopped myself, knowing and thinking that it may not be what I think, may not be what it used to be – I am glad I was right, because it was way, way better than even my ability as a pisces to believe the most ridiculous things.
Yet they are not ridiculous. It was no where near ridiculous, the thing that I wanted so dearly, the thing that I never dreamed was not too far from me. I wanted to cry, wanted to scream joyously at the very top of my lungs, and really, even as it was not a holiday, it sure felt like one. I did not scream, but my soul did.
Just like a kid on Christmas morning.
It is in the ugliness of life that the beauty is spawned from
We all have lost, so, so much, but I will remain glued to my thought that it is never for nothing. The things that we each have gone through for many years were meant to bring us to this point. At this point we must look back and piece together the things that are most memorable to us, good or other than good, think about and perhaps even dwell on not what it is that we want, but why we want it. Once we have the answer for the “why” we can go forward, remaining neutral to the things that we do not see in manifest.
I could not have been more delighted, really, and not for more than the proof that is the bigness of my own Soul. I am huge on the idea that who we are is reflected back to us through others. I am big on the idea that once it is that whatever is still there and is hurting us, that those things will be what are the catalyst for us all to seek our power, to find out that we are awesome at this Soul power stuff, and that as long as we all think like good little fish, believe that we have the power to bring to our lives at least something which represents the actuality of things, we also, at that point when we choose to believe this way, open wide the door for the actual situation that we see in our minds to also be as good and as big a possibility as anything would be.
It was my Gator who kept up after me to never just be walking my bull (Lunar Taurus here), who told me that I really needed to let my truth show and just let the shark swim in the ocean of un-reality. It was April who told me that the thing that I so wished for was upon me, that it would be with a lightning quickness and that when it happened that I would hear her saying this to me, and I did. It was my soul mother, Noreen, who, three years ago, told me that it would not be what I thought, the way that this played out, but that it would, by the time that it mattered, make all the sense in the world to me AND that I WOULD BE a VERY happy little land shark…
All of them were right. I am sitting here beside myself, wondering how on earth this all came to be. It was with a little help from my two Soul Sisters and our Soul Mother, with a lot of wild piscean imagination, and yes, a whole lot of pleading with Spirit to please take away the ache from what I thought was gone forever and never to be had again, at all.
How to have your own Christmas all year long
I won’t lie to you – manifestation takes great focus and a lot of patience, it takes a belief in the unbelievable being able to be. My friend Melody Fletcher, the one to whom I refer to as “The Snarky Puppy Chick,” and who lovingly responds always with ‘How are you, Feral (Kitten)?” She is also a part of this, as a teacher and a pal on the other side of the world, who told me, around the same time Noreen said it, about how I have no idea what was ahead of me, that I needed to believe that I could have that one wish.
I have that one wish. I saw it with my own two eyes, and no matter what anyone else thinks, again, I am a very happy Kahu right now, ecstatically so, even.
You can do this, too. I say this because of all of the people who I know, I am the person who I know is the one who may have all the high aspirations of getting what I want to have in my life, but am also the very one who was less inclined to believe in my own ways and powers of manifestation. I used to stare enviously at my dear friend Scott (hello bassist), at how fast his manifestations became reality. I asked him once how he did it, what was going through his head, and his answer was like magic – “Rox, you just don’t think it won’t happen- that’s how I do it and how it happens…” and he was right.
When I set out to manifest what I manifested, and when it came into being, I was, all at one time, taken back to every single conversation I’d had with every single person I’d had it with, regarding our power to manifest. I am likely one of the only Pisceans that anyone knows who refuses to throw caution to the wind, who is the doubting Thomas of all doubters, who, at one point in her life, had very little belief that I would have the luck that I have with this one very big, very important thing.
And yes, it is that big, that important, that life-changing. It may not be that way for anyone else, but for me, it is. I am not sure of what is way more awesome – that I manifested this to happen, or that I was powerful enough to manifest it. I didn’t need to pay anyone to teach me this. I only needed my Soul Tribe to be there for me, no matter what, so that when all else failed (and it failed a LOT…but with VERY GOOD REASON !), they would (and did…thanks April, Dannie and Noreen…all my guys…you guys are the BEST!) be there to help me piece back together my tattered soul, my broken and shattered heart, and the me who is still a very much younger me, still very much the one who, for the life of her, feels like a kid again.
When we least expect the greatness in life to reveal itself, it happens upon us in remarkable ways. When we think we want something else, it is with a swiftness that Spirit comes beckoning us to show us what we need, in the form that we need it, and most of the time, want it to be. What I needed was what I also wanted, and nothing else would be the same as that one thing. There were situations which could have been thought of as being what I wanted, but when I thought about it, it was not. In fact, it was the opposite. I could only hear April telling me to be patient, Dannie telling me to not cry because the Mother Goddess knows what is best for any of us. It was Noreen, who, in her beautiful, Cancerian mother-like ways who was and is always there to help me see what I could not or what I refuse to see, and Jimmy who never ever let me get the best of me. I will admit to being a woman who has some set standards, and many of those standards, I am remiss to say, made me think and do things that eventually only cracked me in the soul a little more.
Once I took heart and heed to what my fellow Seers could also see, and interpreted differently for me, things became crystal clear. Soon enough, the path became brighter and clearer than it had ever been for many years.
Then one day…
…Merry Danged Christmas ! In February even !
If you want something in your life badly enough, you have the power to make it be, and not only make it be, but make it be way, WAY better than you were willing to settle for. I know this, for sure.
I have living proof.
I am living proof.
I LOVE YOU ALL !
My Soul Brother