Intuitives. Empaths. Psychics…we know and feel a whole lot, but there are times that we do not know. It is in those very times where we are learning something, even as we are teaching someone else.
As recently as a few days ago I told a new student that they should never let anyone claiming to be psychic convince anyone else that we can see everything, that we know everything that we are supposed to know. This is not the truth. The truth is that we are every bit as clueless about some things as anyone else can be. We are, essentially, humans, but are humans who have learned very well to attune ourselves to what is going on inside of us as it pertains to what is happening outside of us. And really, it is not that one of us is more in tune with our awareness than anyone else is. It is more that when we realize we are gifted, we each have our strengths and we each have our weaknesses. It is our strengths which help us build those weaknesses up so that they can also be used as a tool in our professional and proverbial Intuitive/Empath/Psychic toolbox.
At this time in our collective lives we find that there are many people who are ascending to the next level of their own consciousness, of their own gifts of knowing, and people who are employed in the realms of the unconscious world are right now inundated and overwhelmed with new clients, and in my case, new students of this new thought pattern that I was placed in this lifetime to show to others within themselves.
It all takes time. It is like learning to trust, all over again, and this time it is not trusting others but is trusting who we are to be empathetically aware of how other people are, and how other people think and how other people employ the use of those two energies and apply it to their own lives. It is not that we cannot trust them, but that we cannot trust ourselves to open up to them and accept what is their truth about us. Our ego, it really is not a bad thing, that is, unless it takes over and makes you become a douche bag. Our ego is our warning light, like the one that is in your car’s dashboard and tells you that if you do not maintain your vehicle that you will be cursing it dearly and often sometime in the future. The same thing happens with our egos. We let it get in our way, allowing it to be who we are, and this starts at a very young age. I have always believed that anyone who has something to prove is still very dented in an ego-sense.
Anyone who feels like their pain is worth taking out into the world and telling it on a mountain is still and only living and loving themselves on the outside. I say this because no one understands, it seems, that when we feel like we have to prove anything it is because we feel like everyone else thinks we can’t do what we tell them we can do, or that we are lying. We defend ourselves no matter what, but when someone else challenges what it is that we know is the truth of us and we are not yet at that point in our learning that we know and more importantly have the ability to not trip, to not have a moment of petulance.
Things we do not know
With my gifts I can tell a whole lot of people a whole lot, but sometimes, when I am not supposed to know, the one thing that I am certain of is that I am about to be taught a lesson, and most of the time, that lesson comes from a place where, as time has passed, my mind starts to question why, perhaps a long time ago, or maybe just a month ago, I would have experienced, with whomever I experienced certain events in my life, whatever it was that I experienced. I am not saying that I do not employ the same basic thoughts and exercises that I tell other truth seekers to utilize, and I am also not saying at all that what is presented to me via these other people is not somehow worthy of my time or my gifts. I am saying that as a Professional Weirdo that even though I am privy and even gifted with knowing a lot about a lot, I really do not know whatever ‘it all” is.
Hence, the reason that when I don’t know why it is that I have been prompted one way or another, it bothers me, sometimes to the point and the brink of a brilliant madness that is creative in nature, but maddening none the less. I can say with an absoluteness that right now, this moment, is one such time. I don’t recall when the last time it was that I could feel my Soul digging deeper into the past, or into my psyche like it has these last two months. These last two months I have seen people leave this lifetime, have been privy to not one but more than one birth into this lifetime, have been a mournful, even if only in the soul, observant of people who have had to learn to let go of the things that they held so dearly onto, even if those things are intangible in nature.
For the most part, most of the losses, even though they were what I call “Soul Cleaning,” are material. Material losses beg for us to think about what we lost and really ponder what value we placed on those things and more, what those things symbolically mean to us and for us. I lost EVERYTHING, and all of those things meant something to me, but it took me a while to figure out what they meant. Some of them meant prestige, and others, freedom. One day, I got used to not having those things. One day, I just accepted that in order for me to have those things again, I would have to search within my own self not why I lost them, but why they meant what they meant to me.
A big fat golf course home is great, but it comes with conditions and most of those conditions I met, but not without some great inner personal sacrifice. In order for me to accustom myself to resort living, I had to think about what meant more to me – what people thought of me and my no shoes wearing ways, or what I thought of me, period. At the onset of this grandness at the golf course, I lost my own self. I lost myself in the materialism of having seen to fruition the “dream” that was really a goal for me to live in a private golf course community. Yet, when I look back, I see, too, that in order to live there, I had to not be the me I was prior to being there. What being there taught me was not only how much it was that I truly value who I really am, but more, that I really have no issues with the idea that for a decade, a lot of people thought I was weird, but that those same people still loved me even as weird as I am.
It was not my house, all of my cars, was not my bank account, not my hula, not my anything that people could see OTHER than just me. I did not know why I felt like that at that time, but I know now that I was raised to believe that you are worth what your house tells other people you are worth, and that is all you are worth. And Goddess bless my parents for this thought because without it, I would not be able to learn, and continue to learn, that while right now, I do not own one damned thing, I own my thoughts, and that is priceless.
In fact, it was not until about two years ago that this lesson came crashing into me, the idea that I alone created my thoughts, and that I alone will be the one who directs their energy. This was not lost on me – I simply just refused to think in this manner. I finally had the nerve enough to accept my own truth and to look that monster that finally chose to come out of the darkness, not of what was not the truth, but what was hidden behind the truth. The truth is that I love being comfortable, but I am not bound, by any means, by my own material worth. I was not born with a price tag. Anyone who can only see what it is that I no longer have as a tangible possession will not ever understand this truth – that there are people who place higher value on things that are intangible than they do the things that are seemingly concrete and tangible.
Let me make something clear to you all right this second – just because something is tangibly real it does not mean that it is useful or that it is good or that the person who is in possession of that tangible thing somehow will be blessed and better off because of it. I can name a few tangible things right now that no one would be blessed by. There is crack, heroine and meth, for starters, and there is no one on this planet who will sway my opinion from my own thought about those three things. There are things that are tangible which were able to be had by ill-gotten means, such as being stolen or purchased with money that was made by means that are not that great, in some cases illegal. There are some things, too, that are none of these examples, that are had by means which are truthful, and that some of us just don’t know that we have no real use for them anymore.
When we lose what we are pau learning from, it is not a loss. The Universe abhors a vacuum, abhors empty space, so when it is that we essentially ‘lose’ something, always know that in its place will be something that is more cohesive with who you are at this time. At this time there are a lot of us in a state of transition in many ways. Some of those ways are the real way, where loved ones are leaving this consciousness to ascend to their higher form. It is not that anyone lost anyone else only, but for the ones who have ascended, the losses that we feel might be their gain. (I know – it doesn’t take away the sting or the pain, but it may give you, the reader, a new way of thinking about your loss – because your loss may be someone else’s gain in a very positive way.) There is no way that I can compare the loss of my kids’ childhood home in the desert with the loss of a family member. No way.
Yet, in the minds of some folks, the sort who have no one in their lives that they would hurt so badly from, because they are more impressed with the tangible nature of what they value, I use my house and my life in Helendale. I loved it there. I told someone just yesterday how I so loved it there. My oldest was a star on the private course we lived at. My daughter had many good and decent friends who came from good families. I had a life there, and one that was filled with the light and the laughter that I never thought that I would need after I’d lost those tangible things. I find now that the only reason that I lived there – me, specifically, – is because I needed to find April and I needed to meet Kim, needed to get a lesson from a guy named Larry who, still, even though I talk to him the very least, is still a part of the learning that brought me to be who I am at this moment. It was these three people who taught me that while it was that I had a nice life, it was never what I owned that they loved about me and that is was all and only me who they each love.
And this is the pricelessness brought to us by our personal losses. We get to see who we are, and we get to know, almost immediately, who loves us and who values who we are, even though we might not know that. We always know it, but we don’t always accept it.
This, my friends, is what is contained in our losses – the things that are there and cannot be seen, because they have not been realized or created yet. We ask, and we are given what we need, when we need it and in the way that we can easily recognize it. We are never ever given more than we need, and we are never ever given less than we need. Our egotistical side prompts us to believe that we are not going to rank high enough in the minds and eyes of other people.
It is the Soul within that never fails to remind us, though, that in the middle of who we are for real is what matters, to anyone at all, and is the one thing that we are not always aware of our giving to others. We give ourselves to others in the manner that we don’t have to, and really, all we have to do is loan to them the Soul that is our own and thrives on discovering, through other people, exactly who we each and all really and truly are beneath all of that bravado, and all of that arrogance, and all of that other energy that we need, but in small doses.
That which we do not know and cannot yet see is not for us to do more about than put effort toward piecing together and figuring out. You can do this. It is not easy and it will, at times, hurt like a bitch.
Hurting like a bitch is nothing in terms of Soul Time, because the Soul is timeless. Allowing one’s own Soul to continue to hurt because of what we do not know….???
Good question. I am pretty sure that we are, on some level, about to find out what the hell all that hurt, and all that work, and all those tears, and every single expletive we have muttered regarding these things, we are all about to find out. Again, it will not be pretty, because it is not pretty, but once we get through it and learn…
…well, it’s like being that kid at his or her own birthday party who is waiting for their cake and ice cream and this time it is as it should be.
That kid, they get theirs first!
I LOVE YOU ALL !
Ka Hale O Ka’uhane Aloha
A Different Kind of Hula, and a Different Kind of Energy
Coming SOON !